Ah, Thanksgiving. The one time of year that you can just engorge yourself and no one minds. Except your pants. Decadent mashed potatoes with a whole stick of butter for garnish, bread that we dried out, then soaked in juice, then dried out again, vegetables covered in cream and cheese and other deep fried vegetables. Not to mention a huge bird, usually relegated to emulsified cold cuts, that cooks unevenly and is 50% bones. But the cherry on top? A can of jellied fruit that we call sauce despite it being sliceable. And don't forget your choice of bread product to sop up all that gravy! So ignore those distant family members as you hoover up your even-larger-than-usual plate, but pace yourself, because next is the GUANTLET OF PIES. Pumpkin, pecan, chocolate peanut butter, cherry, key lime, and not to mention:- People Telling You How To Do Your Job- Modern Shoe Design- Movie Theaters- CGI BudgetingThe best thing about your job? It's yours. Sure, there may be many like it, but this specific one is yours. It is your best friend. It is your life. You must master it as you must master your life. Your job, without you, is useless. Without your job, you am useless. So when some yahoo off the street does a drive-by "here's how you're supposed to do it" or a "last guy did [BLANK] differently", you should have the god given right to shoot them in the face. You don't go to their job and smack the 72 oz Big Gulp of stupid juice out of their hand, do you?Why are shoes so ugly these days? Who needs a neon pink and orange pair of sneakers? With velcro straps? And a waveform of an Aphex Twin song on the soles? What's wrong with you people? I'm not sure but you're not half as loony as the PSYCHOS that put WHITE on shoes. ESPECIALLY THE BOTTOM. THAT'S WHERE YOU STEP ON TO ALL THE OTHER COLORS. Even if you lived in Sackshrink, Scandinavia where there was constant snow on the ground 24/7, 365 days out of the year, your white shoes would still be dirty by the third day. That is if you could find them in your size.Do we need movie theaters anymore? We've got big TVs now. We've got the technology to make popcorn at home and I guarantee you there's a hundred internet articles/video explaining how to get that authentic movie theater taste(hint: it's essence of 16 year old stoner mixed with a spritz of hot dog water). We've got couches and recliners, just like them. We've got nachos that cost one-tenth the price and are twice as good, and candy that doesnt cost a dollar per bite. Not to mention for the price of a large movie drink we can get a 24 pack of our favorite soda. And now we can rent the movie the same weekend it comes out, for about the same price as a ticket and a half. We can pause it to take a leak, pause it to explain to your mom who the bad guy is and why he's doing what he's doing despite the fact that if she would just wait 30 seconds, he's literally about to give the same explanation in the movie. Plus, no strangers. So, you tell me.Gee, I wonder why this new Justice League movie bombed at the box office. Was it the lack of marketing? Online weirdos creating negativity? The director being replaced? Studio demands mucking up the final edit? THe large amount of emergency reshoots that muddle the tone of the film? Gee I wonder how this could've been prevented. Well, let's look at the budget: Big alien bad guy CGI: 2 million dollars. Cape physics: 1.5 million dollars. Aquaman underwater scenes: 8 million dollars. Removing Henry Cavill's moustache from reshoots, giving him weirdmouth: 650 million dollars. Giant war battle scene: 10 bucks.All this and more on this week's episode! Don't forget to join us on DISCORD, support us on PATREON or by BUYING A SHIRT.
G'day mate. We are giving the Royal Babes a spell this week and rolling the old ‘Rates for Mates' homie because Megs went on Ellen this week and gee whiz. Gee whiz. Listen to all our hot takes and our well thought out strategic plan to help Meghan never embarrass herself like this again. Listen now!
What is it like to be the parent of an Ohio State player during the week of The Game? Well, Monica Daniels -- mother of OSU offensive lineman Paris Johnson Jr. -- and Gee Scott Sr. join Dave Biddle on today's show to discuss that plus: * Why didn't the 5-star Johnson select Michigan coming out of high school? You won't want to miss this story. * Does Gee hate the Wolverines? Wait, he doesn't? What? * Monica shares a great Greg Studrawa story. * Gee shares a great Tony Alford story. * The Paris Johnson Jr. Foundation continues to do great things. We'll give you the latest. * What are the best side dishes for Thanksgiving? All of that and more is coming your way on the Wednesday 5ish. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
In this episode: We're back for another week to have the 420 casts wrap up. In this week's episode, we brought back friend of the show Devaughn. KG lets Gee go iso for the first half of the pod by telling us the story of how his jaw got wired shut. (10:51). KG then brings up a bill that NYC lawmakers are trying to introduce that'll end the use of tap lyrics in court (60:10). Then the fellas discuss the Kyle Rittenhouse verdict (77:43). And we wrap up with the Drake and Kanye ending one of the worst rap beef of all time (87:26)! Listen
Dr. Gee continues to lead the conversation on the role of Black people in American history. On this episode, he talks with Kellie Carter Jackson about how she teaches Black history and the discourse around race in education happening in America right now. Carter Jackson breaks down Critical Race Theory (CRT) and how we actually view history, whether it is through facts or memory. Kellie Carter Jackson is an Associate Professor in the Department of Africana Studies at Wellesley College. She was also the 2019-2020 Newhouse Faculty Fellow for the Center of the Humanities at Wellesley College. Carter Jackson's research focuses on slavery and the abolitionists, violence as a political discourse, historical film, and black women's history. She earned her B.A at her beloved Howard University and her Ph.D from Columbia University working with the esteemed historian Eric Foner. Her book, Force & Freedom: Black Abolitionists and the Politics of Violence (University of Pennsylvania Press), examines the conditions that led some black abolitionists to believe slavery might only be abolished by violent force. Force and Freedom was a finalist for the Frederick Douglass Book Prize, winner of the James H. Broussard Best First Book Prize given by SHEAR (Society for Historians of the Early American Republic) and a finalist for the Museum of African American History (MAAH) Stone Book Prize Award for 2019. The Washington Post listed Force and Freedom as one of 13 books to read on the history of Black America for those who really want to learn. Her interview, “A History of Violent Protest” on Slate's What's Next podcast was listed as one of the best of 2020. Carter Jackson is also co-editor of Reconsidering Roots: Race, Politics, & Memory (Athens: University of Georgia Press). With a forward written by Henry Louis Gates Jr., Reconsidering Roots is the first scholarly collection of essays devoted entirely to understanding the remarkable tenacity of Alex Haley's visual, cultural, and political influence on American history. Carter Jackson and Erica Ball have also edited a Special Issue on the 40th Anniversary of Roots for Transition Magazine (Issue 122}. Together, Ball and Carter Jackson have curated the largest collection essays dedicated to the history and impact of Roots. Carter Jackson was also featured in the History Channel's documentary, Roots: A History Revealed which was nominated for a NAACP Image Award in 2016. Carter Jackson is a co-host on the podcast, “This Day in Political Esoteric History” with Jody Avirgan and Nicole Hemmer. Her essays have been featured in The New York Times, The Washington Post, The Atlantic, The Los Angeles Times, NPR, The Guardian, The Conversation, Boston's NPR Blog Cognoscenti, Black Perspectives, and Quartz. She has also been interviewed for her expertise for MSNBC, SkyNews (UK) New York Times, PBS, Time, Vox, The Huff Post, the BBC, Boston Public Radio, Al Jazeera International, Slate, The Telegraph, Reader's Digest, CBC, and Radio One among other news outlets. She has been featured in a host of documentaries and podcasts on history and race in the United States. Carter Jackson is a commissioner for the Massachusetts Historical Commission. She sits on the scholarly advisory board for the Gilder Lehrman Institute for American History. Carter Jackson is also Historian-in-Residence for the Museum of African American History in Boston. She is currently at work on two book manuscripts, one on Black response to white supremacy and Losing Laroche: The Story of the Only Black Passenger on the Titanic. She traces how Joseph Laroche allows us to better understand the possibilities and limitations of black travel in the Titanic moment and our global love affair with whiteness and wealth. Carter Jackson represented by the indefatigable Tanya McKinnon and her team at McKinnon Literary. She currently resides outside of Boston with her husband and three children. alexgee.com patreon.com/blacklikeme
GEE & URSULA AGREE, TO DISAGREE // GUEST: Mike Salk instructs the listeners of Seattle on how to root for a losing team // WE HEAR YOU! and WORDS TO LIVE BY See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
GEE & URSULA AGREE, TO DISAGREE // WA Health leaders urge caution for the holidays - are you going to change your plans? // WE HEAR YOU! and WORDS TO LIVE BY See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
GEE & URSULA AGREE, TO DISAGREE // Britney Spears thanks her fans in an emotional video, says her parents should be in jail // WE HEAR YOU! and WORDS TO LIVE BY See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
In this episode: The fellas discuss what they would do if they were to win the lottery, would they stay anonymous or announce it to the world! (2:55) KG brings up Ye saying he would pay Beanie Siegel 50 million dollars and 5% stock in his “Yeezy” company. (23:09) Gee discusses the excellence of “The harder they fall” and the most profound statement he took from the movie. (31:10) Gee and KG give their thoughts on the tragic situation with Henry Ruggs (45:00). KG and Gee discuss the new versuz Chaka Khan vs Stephanie mills and Three 6 Mafia vs Bone thugs and harmony. (67:05) and much more! Listen
On this episode Garrett and Nate sit down and talk about our recent trip to NY for Spooky Season. We talk about the ups and downs of late season hunting and the ups and downs of public land and private land hunting. Every waterfowler out there is probably guilty of the phrase "They will do it on the next pass" as we both are and we talk about how optimistic you can get. We also talk about the scouting and how the hunt starts long before the guns get loaded.
GEE & URSULA AGREE, TO DISAGREE // GUEST: Charlie Harger Adele's Sunday concert at Griffith Observatory blew us all away // WE HEAR YOU! and WORDS TO LIVE BY See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
URSULA'S TOP 5 // GUEST: Chris Sullivan on the University Bridge being stuck open all weekend // WE NEED TO TALK about what Gee learned during his visit to a homeless encampment See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
A well-told story can stay in someone's mind for their whole life. As a blogger you want to find the right balance between telling and selling your story. Gee Nonterah from the Create and Prosper Podcast joins Jenny Guy, Mediavine's Senior Director of Marketing, in a conversation about communicating your story in a way that is both relatable and profitable. She offers some great tips for creating a community of superfans that you can start implementing today! Helpful Resources Repurpose Like A Pro: Mediavine On Air Episode 4Gee's YoutubeGee's InstagramGee's WebsiteGee's Podcast https://youtu.be/Ez8zX6gar7U Transcript [MUSIC PLAYING] JENNY GUY: Guys, it is already November. It is November 5, Thursday to be exact, which means that the holiday season is practically upon us, and this dumpster fire of a year is almost over. Can you believe it? This is Teal Talk, and I am your host, Jenny Guy. I'm Mediavine's Director of Marketing. And I have a very important and seasonal question for you. Where do you fall on the Christmas, Kwanzaa, Hanukkah scale? Have you already decorated? Are you listening to the music already? Are the Hallmark movies on repeat like they are for some of the Mediavine teams? Say hi to us in the comments. Weigh in. Tell us where you fall, because it is a super important and polarizing topic. I personally am of the opinion that whatever you want to do in 2020 is perfectly valid. If you want to do Christmas before Halloween, yes, do that. If you want St. Patrick's Day in November, fantastic. If it provides you and yours with a modicum of joy this year, I say just go for it. I'm also in favor of normalizing full celebrations for random holidays. So in that spirit, I would like to say, Happy Men Make Dinner Day! Did any one know that was a thing? Because it is. I did research on all the random holidays. Today is Happy Men Make Dinner Day. Yes, it's a thing. We're going to share the link in the comments. It is the first Thursday in November, and there are rules. And to make things more inclusive, I'd like to change it from men to whichever partner doesn't normally cook. And if you normally cook for yourself, order from a locally owned restaurant. I don't know. Just celebrate. Celebrate your life. Have a great Thursday. That's what we're here for. I know I'm celebrating today because, one, we don't have to talk about anything that's happening in our nation for an hour. My guest and I were just talking about that. But I am very much celebrating because my returning guest is the wonderful Gee Nonterah. She shared so much good stuff during your Summer of Live episode on repurposing content. And we kept having to rush through certain topics, and we didn't have time. And we kept saying, we'll talk more about that later. And she was kind enough to come back and talk about the concept of story selling and email marketing, which we will go into more in a second. But hello, Gee! Welcome back. GEE NONTERAH: Hi. I'm so excited to be back. JENNY GUY: I'm so excited to have you because you're awesome. I'm going to read her bio because she is an impressive lady. She is a former registered nurse and medical scientist turned blogger, freelance writer, and YouTube creator. She is the host of The Create and Prosper Show which helps bloggers and writers create amazing content and build profitable businesses. She started My Online Biz Journey in 2014 to chronicle her journey into online business and succeeded in using that blog to attract clients for a social media content creation business. You can find her currently on geenonterah.com where she's passionately helping her audience make a living and build a powerful and authentic personal brand with their writing. When she's not creating amazing content, she likes to watch spy movies. What up? All right, Gee, hello. I'm going to start out with a question for our audience. Tell us,
In episode 255, Kestrel welcomes Mary Margaret Pettway, a fourth generation Gee's Bend Quilter, and designer Greg Lauren, to the show. Mary Margaret and Greg have recently been part of a collaboration titled MOSAIC: Gee's Bend & Greg Lauren. “Quilting and sewing gives you a freedom that is totally different. You got a sense of pride in what you wear, what you like — and if you make it, it's all the better.” -Mary Margaret Gee's Bend, Alabama is a rural community with deep historical roots connected to quilting. Emanating textile wisdom, the women of Gee's Bend have created hundreds of masterpieces. This week's conversation is the fruit of a unique partnership between Gee's Bend's quilters and designer Greg Lauren. Before we get into more of what this entails, I want to share some words by Jonathan Michael Square, the curatorial partner for this collaboration, from a piece called “Beloved Patches of Orange”. “The use of old clothing is a reminder of the resourcefulness and creativity of African Americans resulting from slavery. The genius of the Gee's Bend quilters has had a transformative impact on how scholars and curators understand the diversity and complexity of African American creative expression and Black abstract expressionism borne out of the crucible of slavery. Within the fields of fiber and textile studies, the work of the Gee's Bend quilters has been consistently referenced since the community started getting the attention that it deserved in the mid-20th century. Ultimately, the collaboration between Gee's Bend and Greg Lauren is a creative ping-pong match between a community of master needle workers and a purveyor of reworked American sportswear. Lauren, who is an artist first, uses his brand as a canvas to work out the complexity of American identity in the most radical ways. The collaboration is a conduit for shedding more light on this under acknowledged group of artists whose work is often relegated pejoratively to the realm of craft, despite sustained interest from scholars, curators, and collectors.” On the show, we explore more on what an equitable collaboration means to Mary Margaret and Greg Lauren, and how they've intentionally built a model that can be replicated by / with others in the future. Quotes & links from the conversation: “Preloved is very much a word down here — we don't understand the term deadstock. There is no such thing. If it can hold together, it can be used in a quilt. If it doesn't shred in your hand, it can be used in a quilt, you know. It just depends on the person and their personal taste for doing things. Like I said, we grew up — if your zipper tore, we fixed it. If you had a hole in your pocket, we mended it. If your pants were too short, we lengthened it. If they were too long, we hemmed them. If you had a hole in your knee, we took our time, found a really old pair that were no good anywhere else, and we took time and we patched them. So, sustainability down here is just basically a way of life.” -Mary Margaret (27:46) “Recycling and repurposing to me actually started with this idea that I used to speak about called recycling image. I wanted to change the way we saw clothing and wanted to change the way we saw archetypes and what those pieces of clothing meant.” -Greg (40:35) “Around 2018, I started to look more specifically at this idea of Americana — and I say that because I was exposed to the word Americana and all the visual references of Americana really as this, almost a stylistic symbol of something that was completely vague and half-told. And I had this creative idea of — well, so we'll reinterpret quilts. I had never used quilts before, but quilts to me were something that were so symbolic of an idea of Americana, an idea of America. Usually, such a small part of the story was actually told. And that started to bother me, because I literally was guilty of exploring red and white quilts, blue and white quilts. I put that into Google and I just started seeing all these quilts that I had seen so often as representative of Americana … later in 2020, it was the first time there were some transformative conversations and deep dive into the history of some of our aesthetics, that I discovered Gee's Bend. And I literally saw a few quilts — specifically a couple by Mary Lee Bendolph and Annie Mae Young … and what started with seeing the work clothes quilts that so many people may not — I certainly didn't realize — were such a huge part of the history of Gee's Bend quilters … And I thought — well, thank you very much to the history and legacy of Gee's Bend, because without that, there's no way any of us working today work with scraps and remnants, and we're all so proud of our initiatives, but that doesn't exist without the work that came before us. And while it's great to now bring it now to the forefront of what we're doing as creatives, we've gotta credit the story and embrace the legacy and history of it.” -Greg (41:55) “Mary Margaret said something very profound when we were together in Los Angels. She said that, you know, people have been taking from Gee's Bend for a long, long time. That they come down, spend time together, buy a quilt, and then they're never heard from again. And then, they go and sell it for so much more money somewhere down the road. And, we wanted to just create a different model where the women whose artwork is being celebrated and that is what these garments are made of — that they would have an opportunity to participate in the financial success of the project as well." -Greg (1:02:15) Jonathan Michael Square, curatorial partner for MOSAIC & author of "Beloved Patches Of Orange" MOSAIC: Gee's Bend x Greg Lauren Nest x Gee's Bend Souls Grown Deep Follow Gee's Bend Quilters on Instagram > Follow Greg Lauren on Instagram >
In this interview Matt Crawford speaks with author Henry Gee about his book, A (Very) Short History of Life on Earth. As a paleontologist, evolutionary biologist and editor at Nature Henry Gee is in the unique position to describe those moments throughout this planets history that were most pivotal. Gee explains how we went from single celled organisms to what we are today in a lighthearted and hysterical fashion that will actually make you learn, while laughing out loud. This is the perfect book for anyone who is intimated by or thinks science is boring. I assure you this book will change your mind.
Dr. Gee has a can't miss conversation with four women who now live outside of the United States by choice. Hear why these ex-pats have sought a better life outside of America and what factors give them Black Joy. - Diara Parker (Vice President of Operations and EQT By Design Consultant) https://www.eqtbydesign.com - Sharolyn “Shar” Wynter (Social Entrepreneur, Startup Founder, and Creative) https://www.xpatinc.com/about - Hiwote Getaneh (Podcast Producer and Creative) http://www.depthandcandor.com/about ⁃ Margo Gabriel (Food & Travel Freelance Writer, Author, and Creative) https://margoscreativelife.com/about-me alexgee.com Support the Show: patreon.com/blacklikeme
GEE & URSULA AGREE, TO DISAGREE // Sen Josh Hawley says men need to step up. Stop playing video games and watching porn // WE HEAR YOU! and WORDS TO LIVE BY See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
GUEST GAB is back, featuring very special guest Gee, a man who doesn't watch kdrama at all. This time, Gee and Evie watched the entirety of SQUID GAME, the 2021 mega famous kdrama starring Lee Jung-jae, Park Hae-soo, Jung Ho-yeon, and Wi Ha-joon. They do a deep dive into the whole show! Visit Evie's Patreon to support the show and for extra episodes: www.patreon.com/EvieKoreanDramaPodcast
GEE & URSULA AGREE, TO DISAGREE // High-school principal issues apology for lack of sportsmanship in 106-0 victory // WE HEAR YOU! and WORDS TO LIVE BY See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
About EdEd Boyajian, President and CEO of EDB, drives the development and execution of EDB's strategic vision and growth strategy in the database industry, steering the company through 47 consecutive quarters of recurring revenue growth. He also led EDB's acquisition of 2ndQuadrant, a deal that brought together the world's top PostgreSQL experts and positioned EDB as the largest dedicated provider of PostgreSQL products and solutions worldwide. A 15+ year veteran of the open source software movement, Ed is a seasoned enterprise software executive who emphasizes that EDB must be a technology-first business in order to lead the open source data management ecosystem. Ed joined EDB in 2008 after serving at Red Hat, where he rose to Vice President and General Manager of North America. While there, he played a central leadership role in the development of the modern business model for bringing open source to enterprises.Links:EDB: https://enterprisedb.com TranscriptAnnouncer: Hello, and welcome to Screaming in the Cloud with your host, Chief Cloud Economist at The Duckbill Group, Corey Quinn. This weekly show features conversations with people doing interesting work in the world of cloud, thoughtful commentary on the state of the technical world, and ridiculous titles for which Corey refuses to apologize. This is Screaming in the Cloud.Corey: This episode is sponsored in part by Honeycomb. When production is running slow, it's hard to know where problems originate: is it your application code, users, or the underlying systems? I've got five bucks on DNS, personally. Why scroll through endless dashboards, while dealing with alert floods, going from tool to tool to tool that you employ, guessing at which puzzle pieces matter? Context switching and tool sprawl are slowly killing both your team and your business. You should care more about one of those than the other, which one is up to you. Drop the separate pillars and enter a world of getting one unified understanding of the one thing driving your business: production. With Honeycomb, you guess less and know more. Try it for free at Honeycomb.io/screaminginthecloud. Observability, it's more than just hipster monitoring. Corey: This episode is sponsored in part by our friends at Jellyfish. So, you're sitting in front of your office chair, bleary eyed, parked in front of a powerpoint and—oh my sweet feathery Jesus its the night before the board meeting, because of course it is! As you slot that crappy screenshot of traffic light colored excel tables into your deck, or sift through endless spreadsheets looking for just the right data set, have you ever wondered, why is it that sales and marketing get all this shiny, awesome analytics and inside tools? Whereas, engineering basically gets left with the dregs. Well, the founders of Jellyfish certainly did. That's why they created the Jellyfish Engineering Management Platform, but don't you dare call it JEMP! Designed to make it simple to analyze your engineering organization, Jellyfish ingests signals from your tech stack. Including JIRA, Git, and collaborative tools. Yes, depressing to think of those things as your tech stack but this is 2021. They use that to create a model that accurately reflects just how the breakdown of engineering work aligns with your wider business objectives. In other words, it translates from code into spreadsheet. When you have to explain what you're doing from an engineering perspective to people whose primary IDE is Microsoft Powerpoint, consider Jellyfish. Thats Jellyfish.co and tell them Corey sent you! Watch for the wince, thats my favorite part. Corey: Welcome to Screaming in the Cloud. I'm Corey Quinn. Today's promoted episode is a treasure and a delight. Longtime listeners of this show know that it's not really a database—unless of course, it's Route 53—and of course, I don't solve pronunciation problems with answers that make absolutely everyone hate me. Longtime listeners of the show know that if there's one thing I adore when it comes to databases—you know, other than Route 53—it is solving pronunciation holy wars in such a way that absolutely everyone is furious with me as a result, and today is no exception. My guest is Ed Boyajian, the CEO of EDB, a company that effectively is the driving force behind the Postgres-squeal database. Ed, thank you for joining me.Ed: Hey, Corey.Corey: So, I know that other people pronounce it ‘post-gree,' ‘Postgresql,' ‘Postgres-Q-L,' all kinds of other things. We know it's decidedly not ‘Postgres-squeal,' which is how I go for it. How do you pronounce it?Ed: We say ‘Postgres,' and this is one of the great branding challenges this fantastic open-source project has endured over many years.Corey: So, I want to start at the very beginning because when I say that you folks are the driving force behind Postgres—or Postgres-squeal—I mean it. I've encountered folks from EDB—formerly EnterpriseDB—in the wild in consulting engagements before, and it's great because whenever we found an intractable database problem, back at my hands-on keyboard engineering implementation days, very quickly after you folks got involved, it stopped being a problem, which is kind of the entire point. A lot of companies will get up there and say, “Oh, it's an open-source project,” with an asterisk next to it and 15 other things that follow from it, or, “Now, we're changing our license so the big companies can't compete with us.” Your company's not named after Postgres-squeal and you're also—when you say you have people working on it, we're not talking just one or two folks; your fingerprints are all over the codebase. How do you engage with an open-source project in that sense?Ed: First and foremost, Postgres itself is, as you know, an independent open-source project, a lot like Linux. And that means it's not controlled by a company. I think that's inherently one of Postgres's greatest strengths and assets. With that in mind, it means that a company like EDB—and this started when I came to the company; I came from Red Hat, so I've been in open-source for 20 years—when I came to the company back in 2008, it starts with a commitment and investment in bringing technology leaders in and around Postgres into a business like EDB, to help enterprises and customers. And that dynamic intersection between building the core database in the community and addressing customer needs in a business, at that intersection is where the magic happens. And we've been doing that since I joined EDB in 2008; it was really an explicit focus for the company.Corey: I'd like to explore a little bit, well first and foremost, this story of is there a future for running databases in cloud environments yourself? And I have my own angry, loud opinion on this that I'm sure we'll get to momentarily, but I want to start with yours. Who is writing their own databases in the Year of our Lord 2021, rather than just using whatever managed thing is their cloud provider of choice today is offering for them?Ed: Well, let me give you context, Corey, because I think it matters. We've been bringing enterprise Postgres solutions to companies now, since the inception of the company, which dates back to 2004, and over that trajectory, we've been helping companies as they've done really two things: migrate away, in particular from Oracle, and land on Postgres, and then write new apps. Probably the first ten of the last 13 years since I've been in the company, the focus was in traditional on-prem database transformations that companies were going through. In the last three years, we've really seen an acceleration of that intersection of their traditional deployments and their cloud deployments. Our customers now, who are represented mostly in the Fortune 500 and Global 2000, 40% of our customers report they're deploying EDB's Postgres in the cloud, not in a managed context, but in a traditional EC2 or GCP self-managed cloud deployment.Corey: And that aligns with what I've seen, a fair bit. Years ago, I wound up getting the AWS Cloud Practitioner Certification—did a whole blog post on it—not because it was opening any doors for me, but because it let me get into the certified lounge at re:Invent, and ideally charge a battery and have some mostly crappy coffee. The one question I got wrong was I was honest when I answered, “How long does it take to restore an RDS database from snapshot backup?” Rather than giving the by-the-book answer, which is way shorter than I found in practice a fair bit of the time. And that's the problem I always ran into is that when you're starting out and building something that needs a database, and it needs a relational database that runs in that model so all the no SQL options are not viable for whatever reason, great, RDS is great for getting you started, but there's only so much that you can tune and tweak before you start to run into issues were, for particular workloads as they scale-out, it's no longer a fit for a variety of reasons.And most of the large companies that I work with that are heavily relational-database-driven have either started off or migrated to the idea of, “Oh, we're going to run our own databases on top of EC2 instances,” for a variety of reasons that, again, the cloud providers will say, “Oh, that's not accurate, and they're doing the wrong thing.” But, you know, it takes a certain courage to tell a large-scale customer, “You're doing it wrong.” “Well, why is that?” “Because I have things to sell you,” is kind of a terrible answer. How do you see it? Let's not pick on RDS, necessarily, because all of the cloud providers offered managed database offerings. Where do those make sense and where do they fall down?Ed: Yeah, I think many of our customers who made their first step into cloud picked a single vendor to do it, and we often hear AWS is been that early, early—Corey: Yeah, a five-year head start makes a pretty compelling story.Ed: That's right. And let's remember what these vendors are mostly. They are mostly infrastructure companies, they build massive data centers and set those up, and they do that beautifully well. And they lean on software, but they're not software companies themselves. And I think the early implementation of many of our customers in cloud relied on what I'll call relatively lightweight software offerings from their cloud vendor, including database.They traded convenience, ease of use, an easy on-ramp, and they traded some capability in some depth for that. And it was a good trade, in fact. And for a large number of workloads it may still be a good trade. But our more sophisticated customers, enterprise customers who are running Postgres or databases at scale in their traditional environments have long depended on a very intimate relationship with their database technology vendor. And that relationship is the intersection of their evolving and emerging needs and the actual development of the database capabilities in support of that.And that's the heart of who we are at EDB and what we do with Postgres and the many people we have committed to doing that. And we don't see our customers changing that appetite. So, I think for those customers, they've emerged more aware of the need to have a primary relationship with a database vendor and still be in cloud. And so I think that's how this evolves to see two different kinds of services side-by-side, what they really want is a Database as a Service from the database vendor, which is what we just announced here at Microsoft Ignite event.Corey: So, talk to me a little bit more about that, where it's interesting in 2021 to see a company launching a managed service offering, especially in the database space, when there's been so much pushback in different ways against the large cloud providers—[cough] Amazon—who tend to effectively lose sleep at night over the haunting fear that someone who isn't them is making money, somehow. And they will take whatever is available to them and turn it into a managed service offering. That's always been the fear, so people play games with licenses and the rest. Well, they've been running Postgres offerings for a long time. It is an independent open-source project.I don't think you can wind up forcing a license change through that says everyone except big companies can run this themselves and don't do a managed service with it because that cat is very much out of the bag. How is it that you're taking something to market now and expecting that to fare competitively?Ed: So, I think there's a few things that our customers are clearly telling us they want, and I think this is the most important thing: they want control of their data. And if you step back, Corey, look at it historically, they made a huge trade to big proprietary database companies, companies like Oracle, and they made that trade actually for convenience. They traded data to that database vendor. And we all know the successes Oracle's had, and the sheer extraordinary expense of those technologies. So, it felt like a walled garden.And that's where EDB and Postgres entered to really change that equation. What's interesting is the re-platforming that happened and the transformation to cloud actually had the same, kind of, binding effect; we now moved all that data over to the public cloud vendors, arguably in an even stickier context, and now I think customers are realizing that's created a dimension of inflexibility. It's also created some—as you rightly pointed out—some deficiencies in technical depth, in database, and in software. So, our customers have sorted that out and are kind of coming back to middle. And what they're saying is, “Well, we want all the advantages of an open-source database like a Postgres, but we want control of the data.”And so what control looks like is more the ability to take one version of that software—in our case, we're worrying about Postgres—and deploy the same thing everywhere they go. And that opens the door up for EDB to be their partner as a traditional on-prem partner, in the cloud where they run our Postgres and they manage it themselves, and as their managed service, Postgres Database as a Service Provider, which is what we're doing.Corey: I've been something of a bear on the idea of, “I'm going to build a workload to run everywhere in every cloud provider,” which I get. I think that's generally foolish, and people chasing that, with remarkably few exceptions, are often going after the wrong thing. That said, I'm also a fan of having a path to strategic Exodus, where Google's Cloud Spanner is fascinating, DynamoDB is revelatory, Cosmos DB is a security nightmare, which is neither here nor there, but the idea that I can take a provider's offering that even if it solves a bunch of problems for me, well, if I ever need to move this somewhere else for any reason, I'm re-architecting, my data model and re-architecting the built-in assumptions around how the database acts and behaves, and that is a very heavy lift. We have proof of that from Amazon, who got up on stage and told a story about how much they hate Oracle, and they're migrating everything off of Oracle to Aurora, which they had to build in order to get off of Oracle, and it took them three years to migrate things. And Oracle loves telling that story, too.And it's, you realize you both sound terrible when you tell that story? It's, “This is a massive undertaking that even we struggle with, so you should probably not attempt it.” Well, what I hear from that is good God, don't wind up getting locked into a particular database that is only available from one source. So, if you're all-in on a cloud provider, which I'm a fan of, personally—I don't care which one but pick a cloud provider—having a database that is not only going to work in that environment is just a reasonable step as far as how I view things. Trading up that optionality has got to pay serious dividends, and in many database use cases, I've just don't see it.Ed: Yeah, I think you're bringing up a really important point. So, let's unpack it for a minute.Corey: Please.Ed: Because I think you brought up some really prominent specialty database technologies, and I'm not sure there's ever a way out of that intersection and commitment to a single vendor if you pick their specialty database. But underneath this is exactly one of the things that we've worried about here at EDB, which is to make Postgres a more capable, robust database in its entirety. A Postgres superpower is its ability to run a vast array of workloads. Guess what, it's not sexy. It's not sexy not to be that specialty database, but it's incredibly powerful in the hands of an enterprise who can do more.And that really creates an opportunity, so we're trying to make Postgres apply to a much broader set of workloads, from traditional systems of record, like your ERP systems; systems of analysis, where people are doing lightweight analytic workloads or reporting, you can think in the world of data warehouse; and then systems of engagement, where customers are interacting with a website and have a database on the backend. All areas Postgres has done incredibly well in and we have customer experience with. So, when you separate out that core capability and then you look at it on a broader scale like Postgres, you realize that customers who want to make Postgres strategic, by definition need to be able to deploy it wherever they want to deploy it, and not be gated or bound by one cloud vendor. And all the cloud vendors picked up Postgres offerings, and that's been great for Postgres and great for enterprises. But that corresponding lock-in is what people want to get away from, at this point.Corey: There's something to be said for acknowledging that there is a form of lock-in as far as technology selection goes. If you have a team of folks who are terrific at one database engine and suddenly you're switching over to an entirely different database, well, folks who spent their entire career working on one particular database that's still in widespread use are probably not super thrilled to stick around for that. Having something that can migrate from environment to environment is valuable and important. When you say you're launching this as a database as a service offering, how does that actually work? Is that going to be running in your own cloud environment somewhere and people just make queries across the wire through standard connections to the database like they would something locally? Are you running inside of their account or environment? Is it something else?Ed: So, this is a fully-managed database as a service, just like you'd get from any cloud vendor or DBAAS vendor that you've worked with in the past, just being managed and run by EDB. And with that, you get lot of the goodies that we bring, including our compatibility, and all our deep Postgres expertise, but I think one of the other important attributes is we're going to run that service in our clients' account, which gives them a level of isolation and a level of independence that we think is really important. And as different as that is, it's not heroic; it's exactly what our customers told us they wanted.Corey: There's something to be said for building the thing that your customers have said that they want and make sense for you to build as opposed to, “We're going to build this ridiculous thing and we're sure folks are going to love it.” It's nice to see that shaping up in the proper order. And I've fallen victim to that myself; I think most technologists have to some extent. How big is EDB these days?Ed: So, we have over 650 employees. Now, around the world, we have 6000 customers. And of the 650 employees, about 300 of those are focused on Postgres. A subset of that are 30-odd core team members in the Postgres community, committers in the Postgres community, major contributors, and contributors in the Postgres community. So, we have a density of technical depth that is really unparalleled in Postgres.Corey: You're not, for lack of a better term, pulling an Amazon, insofar as you're, “Well, we have three people working on open-source projects, so we're going to go ahead and claim we're an open-source company,” in other words. Conversely, you're also not going down the path of this is a project that you folks have launched, and it claims to be open-source because we love it when people volunteer for for-profit entities, but we exercise total control over the project. You have a lot of contributors, but you're also still a minority, I think the largest minority, but still a minority of people contributing to Postgres.Ed: That's right. And, look, we're all-in on Postgres, and it's been that way since I got here. As I mentioned earlier, I came from Red Hat where I was—I was at Red Hat for a little over six years, so I've been an open-source now for 20 years. So, my orientation is towards really powerful, independent open-source projects. And I think we'll see Postgres really be the most transformative open-source technology since Linux.I think we'll see that as we look forward. And you're right, though, I think what's powerful about Postgres is it's an independent project, which means it's supported by thousands of contributors who aren't tied to single companies, around the world. And it just makes the software—we develop innovation faster, and I think it makes the software better. Now, EDB plays a big part in there. Roughly, a little less than a third of the last res—actually, the 13 release—were contributions that came from contributors who came from EDB.So, that's not a majority, and that's healthy. But it's a big part of what helps move Postgres along and there aren't—you know, the next set of companies are much, much—next set of combined contributors add up to quite small numbers. But the cloud vendors are virtually non-existent in that contribution.Corey: This episode is sponsored in part by something new. Cloud Academy is a training platform built on two primary goals. Having the highest quality content in tech and cloud skills, and building a good community the is rich and full of IT and engineering professionals. You wouldn't think those things go together, but sometimes they do. Its both useful for individuals and large enterprises, but here's what makes it new. I don't use that term lightly. Cloud Academy invites you to showcase just how good your AWS skills are. For the next four weeks you'll have a chance to prove yourself. Compete in four unique lab challenges, where they'll be awarding more than $2000 in cash and prizes. I'm not kidding, first place is a thousand bucks. Pre-register for the first challenge now, one that I picked out myself on Amazon SNS image resizing, by visiting cloudacademy.com/corey. C-O-R-E-Y. That's cloudacademy.com/corey. We're gonna have some fun with this one!Corey: Something else that does strike me as, I guess, strange, just because I've seen so many companies try to navigate this in different ways with varying levels of success. I always encountered EDB—even back when it was EnterpriseDB, which was, given their love of acronyms, I'm still somewhat partial to. I get it; branding, it's a thing—but the folks that I engaged with were always there in a consulting service's capacity, and they were great at this. Is EDB a services company or a product company?Ed: Yeah, we are unashamedly a product technology company. Our business is over 90% of our revenue is annually recurring subscription revenue that comes from technical products, database server, mostly, but then various adjacent capabilities in replication and other areas that we add around the database server itself. So no, we're a database technology company selling a subscription. Now, we help our customers, so we do have a really talented team of consultants who help our customers with their business strategy for Postgres, but also with migrations and all the things they need to do to get Postgres up and running.Corey: And the screaming, “Help, help, help, fix it, fix it, fix it now,” emergencies as well.Ed: I think we have the best Postgres support operation in the world. It is a global 24/7 organization, and I think a lot of what you likely experienced, Corey, came out of our support organization. So, our support guys, these guys aren't just handling lightweight issues. I mean, they wade into the gnarly questions and challenges that customers face. But that's a support business for us. So, that's part and parcel. You get that, it's included with the subscription.Corey: I would not be remembering this for 11 years later, if it hadn't been an absolutely stellar experience—or a horrible experience, for that matter; one or the other. You remember the superlatives, not the middle of the road ones—and if it hadn't been important. And it was. It also noteworthy; with many vendors that are product-focused, their services may have an asterisk next to it because it's either a, “Buy our product and then we'll support it,” or it's, “Ohh, we're going to sell you a whole thing just to get us on the phone.” And as I recall, there wasn't a single aspect of upsell involved in this.It was, “Let's get you back up and running and solve the problem.” Sure, later in time, there were other conversations, as all good businesses will have, but there was no point during those crisis moments where it felt like, “Oh, if you had gone ahead and bought this thing that we sell, this wouldn't happen,” or, “You need to buy this or we won't help you.” I guess that's why I've contextualized you folks as a services company, first and foremost.Ed: Well, I'm glad you have that [laugh] experience because that's our goal. And I think—look, this is an interesting point where customers want us to bring that capability to their managed DBAAS world. Step back again, go back to what I said about the big cloud vendors; they are, at their core, infrastructure companies. I mean, they're really good at that. They're not particularly well-positioned to take your Postgres call, and I don't think they want that call.We're the other guys; we want to help you run your Postgres, at scale, on-prem, in the cloud, fully managed in the cloud, by EDB, and solve those problems at the same time. And I think that's missing in the market today. And we can step back and look at this overall cloud evolution, and I think some might think, “Gee, we're into the mature phase of cloud adoption.” I would tell you, since the Red Sox have done well this year, I think in a nine-inning baseball game—for those of your listeners who follow American baseball—we're in, like, the top of the second inning, maybe. Maybe the bottom of the second inning. So, we've been able to listen and learn from the experiences our customers have had. I think that's an incredible advantage as we now firmly plant ourselves in the cloud DBAAS market alongside our robust Postgres capabilities that you experienced.Corey: The world isn't generating less data, and it's important that we're able to access that in a bunch of different ways. And the last time I really was playing with relational databases, you can view my understanding of it as Excel with a weirder interface, and you're mostly there. One thing that really struck me since the last time I went deep into database-land over in the Postgres-squeal world has been just the sheer variety of native data types that it winds up supporting. The idea of, “Here's some JSON. Take this and store it that way,” or it's GIS data that it can represent, or the idea of having data types that are beyond just string or var or whatever other somewhat limited boolean values or whatnot. Without having just that traditional list, which is of course all there as well. It also seems to have extensively improved its coverage that just can only hint to my small mind about these things and what sort of use cases people are really putting these things into.Ed: Yeah, I think this is one of Postgres' superpowers. And it started with Mike Stonebraker's original development of Postgres as an object-relational database. Mike is an adviser to EDB, which has been incredibly helpful as we've continued to evolve our thinking about what's possible in Postgres. But I think because of that core technology, or that core—because of that core technical capability within Postgres, we have been able to build a whole host of data types. And so now you see Postgres being used not just as the context of a traditional relational database, but we see it used as a time-series database. You pointed out a geospatial database, more and more is a document-oriented database with JSON and JSONB.These are all the things that make Postgres have much more universal appeal, universal appeal to developers—which is worth talking about in the recent StackOverflow developer survey, but we can come back to that—and I think universal applicability for new applications. This is what's bringing Postgres forward faster, unlike many of the specialty database companies that you mentioned earlier.Corey: Now, this is something that you can use for your traditional CRUD app, the my first hello world app that returns something from a database, yeah, that stuff works. But it also, for example, has [cyter 00:25:09] data types, where you can say, give me the results where the IP range contains this address, and it'll do that. Before that, you're trying to solve a whole bunch of very messy things in application logic that's generally awful. The database now does that for you automatically, and there's something—well, it would if I were smart and used it instead of storing it as strings because I make terrible life choices, but for sensible people, it solves a lot of those problems super well. And it's taken the idea of where logic should live in application versus database, and sort of turn a lot of those assumptions I was starting my career with on their head.Ed: Yeah, I think if you look now at the appeal of Postgres to developers, which we've paid a lot of attention to—one of our stated strategies at EDB is to make Postgres easier. That's been true for many years, so a drive for engineering and development here has been that call to action. And if you measure that, over time, we've been contributing—not alone, but contributing to making Postgres more approachable, easier to use, easier to engage with. Some of those things we do just through edb.com, and the way we handle EDB docs is a great example of that, and our developer advocacy and outreach into adjacent communities that care about Postgres. But here's where that's landed us. If you looked at the last Stack Overflow developer survey—the 2021 Stack Overflow developer survey, which I love because I think it's very independent-oriented—and they surveyed, I think this past year was 80,000 developers.Corey: Oh yeah, if Stack Overflow is captured by any particular constituency, it's got to be ‘Big Copy and Paste' that is really behind them. But yeah, other than the cabal of keyboard manufacturers for those copy-and-paste stories, yeah, they're fairly objective when it comes to stuff like this.Ed: And if you look at that survey, Corey, if you just took and summed it because it's helpful to sum it, most used, most loved, and most wanted database: Postgres wins. And I find it fascinating that if you—having been here, in this company for 13 years and watch the evolution from—you know, 13 years ago, Postgres needed help, both in terms of its awareness in the market and some technical capabilities it just lacked, we've come so far. For that to be the new standard for developers, I think, is a remarkable achievement. And I think it's a representation of why Postgres is doing so well in the market that we've long served, in the cloud market that we are now serving, and I think it speaks to what's ahead as a transformational database for the future.Corey: There really is something to be said for a technology as—please don't take this term the wrong way—old. As a relational database, Postgres has been around for a very long time, but it's also not your grandparents' Postgres. It is continuing to evolve. It continues to be there in a bunch of really interesting ways for developers in a variety of different capacities, and it's not the sort of thing that you're only using in, “Legacy environments,” quote-unquote. Instead, it's something that you'll see all over the place. It is rare that I see an environment that doesn't have Postgres in it somewhere these days.Ed: Yeah, I think quite the contrary to the old-school database, which I love that; I love that shade because when you step away from it, you realize, the Postgres community represents the very best of what's possible with open-source. And that's why Postgres continues to accelerate and move forward at the rate that it does. And obviously, we're proud to be a contributor to that, so we don't just watch that outcome happen; we're actually part of creating it. But I also think that when you see all that Postgres has become and where it's going, you really start to understand why the market is adopting open-source.Corey: It's one of those areas where even if some company comes out with something that is amazing and transformatively better, and you should jump into it with both feet and never look back, yeah, it turns out that it takes a long time to move databases, even when they're terrible. And you can lobby an awful lot of accusations at Postgres—or Postgres-squeal—but you can't call it terrible. It's used in enough interesting applications by enough large-scale companies out there—and small as well—that it's very hard to find a reason not to explore it. It's my default relational database when Route 53 loses steam. It just makes sense in a bunch of ways that other things really didn't for me before.Ed: Yeah, and I think we'll continue to see that. And we're just going to keep making Postgres better. And it gets better because of that intersection, as I mentioned, that intimate intersection between enterprise users, and the project, and the community, and the bridge that a company like EDB provides for that. That's why it'll get better faster; the breadth of use of Postgres will keep it accelerating. And I think it's different than many of the specialty databases.Look, I've been in open-source now for 20 years and it's intriguing to me how many new specialty open-source databases have come to market. We tend to forget the amount of roadkill we've had over the course of the past ten years of some of those open-source projects and companies. We certainly are tuned into some of the more prolific ones, even today. And I think again, here again, this is where Postgres shines, and where I think Postgres is a better call for a long-term. Just like Linux was.Corey: I want to thank you for taking so much time out of your day to talk to me about databases, which given my proclivities, is probably like pulling teeth for you. If people want to learn more, where can they find you?Ed: So, come to enterprisedb.com. You still get EnterpriseDB, Corey. Just come to enterprise—Corey: There we go. It's hidden in the URL, right in plain sight.Ed: Come to enterprisedb.com. You can learn all the things you need about the technology, and certainly more that we can do to help you.Corey: And we will, of course, put links to that in the [show notes 00:31:10]. Thank you once again for your time. I really do appreciate it.Ed: Thanks, Corey. My pleasure.Corey: Ed Boyajian, CEO of EDB. I'm Cloud Economist Corey Quinn, and this is Screaming in the Cloud. If you've enjoyed this podcast, please leave a five-star review on your podcast platform of choice, whereas if you've hated this podcast, please leave a five-star review on your podcast platform of choice along with a long angry comment because you are one of the two Amazonian developers working on open-source databases.Corey: If your AWS bill keeps rising and your blood pressure is doing the same, then you need The Duckbill Group. We help companies fix their AWS bill by making it smaller and less horrifying. The Duckbill Group works for you, not AWS. We tailor recommendations to your business and we get to the point. Visit duckbillgroup.com to get started.Announcer: This has been a HumblePod production. Stay humble.
Visit http://JohnBlakeAudio.com to Learn How to DOUBLE Your Enquiry-to-Sale Conversion with The Lead Flow You Already Have. Today, we are going to be talking about how you can position yourself differently from your competitors so you can generate remarkable dissimilarities that give you a notorious advantage over them. One of the biggest things that I get a lot of the time is people saying, “our business is commoditised, our clients are getting three quotes, they're definitely shopping us around”. When you are talking to somebody, that person has most likely already been contacted by two or three other companies. This underlines the need to be able to position yourself differently from your competitors because otherwise, the only criteria people are going to take into consideration is the money they will have to invest. In this episode, you're going to learn how to stand out from the crowd so that price does not become the only thing your clients are thinking of. It is a very simple thing that you can do. Basically, what you want to do is you want to create what I call, "Gee! I didn't know that" moments for your client. As the name suggests, what you're effectively doing is you are providing them with information, or you are exposing a knowledge gap in the person that you are talking to, which has them think to themselves or even say out loud, “Gee! I didn't know that”; of course, it needs to be topical for their particular situation. If you can create criteria that they're not aware of, or introduce criteria into their thinking process, their selection process, and their decision-making process you will be a lot better equipped to be able to compete on a level other than price. Listen to this episode to learn what kind of information you should provide to your clients, and what questions you should ask in every given situation so you can stand out from your competitors and maximise the chances of bringing clients on board. To DOUBLE your lead-to-sale CONVERSION with the leads you already have, go to http://JohnBlakeAudio.com for his exclusive, free, no-fluff, audio training and companion PDF guide. Inside you'll get word-for-word email follow-up templates, phone scripts, and more that you can put to use today.
This month Ray and Gee are joined by the wonderful LumRanmaYasha to talk Fruits Basket!!! From talking about the themes of cycles of abuse, to deep diving into our favourite characters, come join us in our discussion of one of the classic 90s shojo. lumranmayasha website: https://bit.ly/3bvxfyb twitter: https://bit.ly/3juapse podcast: https://bit.ly/3jv9tyg * Follow Ray on her channel Whimsical Pictures and Twitter And if you can't get enough of me, Gee, be sure to follow me on my Youtube Channel and Twitter
HALLOW'S EVE Good intentions may pave the way to ruin, but when Fran - a precocious 11-year old - sets out to rescue what she fervently hopes is a kidnapped child, Halloween may never be the same! Written and produced by Julie Hoverson Cast List Fran - E. Vickery Bobbie - M. Lane Officer Hooper - S. Connor Grigg - C. Hornaday Bool - B. Poole Kidnappers - J. Harvey & Mr. Synyster Timmy & Billy - B. Lomatewama & R. LeBoeuf Mrs. Hooper - A. Kirby Thompson - S. Hoverson Ari & News Report - J. Hoverson Music: Kevin MacLeod (Incompetech.com) Recorded with the assistance of Ryan Hirst of Neohoodoo Studio Editing and Sound: Julie Hoverson Cover Photo: Jeff Mackay (courtesy of Stock Xchange.com) "What kind of a place is it? Why it's a suburban street, where else would you find...goblins?" ***************************************** This was one of the original episodes I had ready for the 2008 Halloween season. It's set in a sort of 1950s era of classic monster movies. I never actually specify that, but references to bobby socks and Corliss Archer (an old time radio show) should be a bit of a clue. One silly thing I should note in here is Fred and Bob (and in other episodes June and Kathy as well) - these are my generic names for extra characters who speak but don't really have personalities, and show up in surprising numbers if you look over the cast lists for a lot of my shows. I found that I would waste time trying to come up with interesting names for all these background characters, and lose my train of thought and it would stall my writing, so I just dub the first such characters Bob and Fred for males and June and Kathy for females, and move on. Later, they may become more specific and get real names, but often enough they just remain half generic. I also find it makes them slightly easier to keep track of than "man1" or "woman B" Naming characters is often half the fun. You see me play with names in many of my shows - D. Meeks in "A Stitch in Time", where Dougie jokes about "D. Meeks inheriting de Earth," or the way so many people in the vampire world of "The Big Dark" took new "vampire names" that are some variation on the characters from Stoker's Dracula. The names of episodes are often some kind of pun or inference, as well. Not so much Hallow's Eve, but The Big Dark is a riff on The Big Sleep (which was a euphemism for death, in the Chandler novel), and the most difficult title to explain "Crumping The Devil" - crumping being a sort of hip hop adjacent challenge dance, conflated with my vague memory of story about an old woman Mrs. Crump who was so awful the devil wouldn't even take her. ***************************************** ALL HALLOW'S EVE Cast: Olivia, host Barbara "BOBBIE" Chandler , babysitter TIMMY Martin, child  FRAN Hooper, child  BILLY Jones, child  OFFICER HOOPER [30s] HOOPER [30s] GRIGG [alien] [adult] BOOL [alien child] FRED [30s], a thug BOB [30s], a thug ARI , kidnapped child THOMPSON [50s] RADIO VOICE MUSIC OLIVIA Did you have any trouble finding it? What do you mean, what kind of a place is it? Why, it's a suburban street, can't you tell? Where else would you find "goblins"? MUSIC SOMETHING CHILDLIKE SCENE 1. OUTSIDE, STREET SOUND FOOTSTEPS, COSTUMES BOBBIE There you go, that one's got a light, now shh! SOUND CRUNCHING OF LEAVES, THEN FOOTSTEPS ON WOOD. BILLY [giggles] TIMMY Shh! SOUND DOORBELL RINGS. DOOR CREAKS OPEN. THOMPSON [deep spooky voice] Yeeees? CHILDREN Trick or Treat!!! THOMPSON [regular voice, pleased] Well, you kids! Hey Martha, come and look, we've got a ghost and a clown and -- and what are you, little boy? FRAN I'm a girl. And I'm a Martian. THOMPSON [amused] Well, fancy that! An invasion right here on our street! Martha...? MUSIC SCENE 2. INSIDE, HOUSE MRS. HOOPER Looks like we've got more goblins coming, dear! SOUND FOOTSTEPS RADIO VOICE --in the five county manhunt for-- OFFICER HOOPER Just a minute, hun. Gotta see what they're saying-- RADIO VOICE --involved in the Stanopopolus kidnapping-- [continues under] MRS. HOOPER It's not your case. And it's Halloween. Just because Bobbie was kind enough to take Fran with her doesn't let you off for holiday spirit. At least until you go on shift. SOUND SNAP. RADIO OFF. SOUND DOORBELL. MRS. HOOPER Well? MUSIC SCENE 3. OUTSIDE, STREET BOBBIE Come on punkins, you must be getting tired by now! BILLY [very tired] I'm not! TIMMY I slept all day. FRAN [raring to go] I only have half a bag. We can't stop yet! BOBBIE It's almost 9 o'clock! No one will be up much longer. CHILDREN Please! BOBBIE All right. Three more houses. That's all. FRAN Big houses always have the best treats. We should go to the Palmer's, the Winchell's and that big one on the corner. BILLY On the corner? But, that's ... that's the haunted house! TIMMY Scaredy cat. FRAN Phooey! It was just empty. I saw someone moving in yesterday. BOBBIE If they just moved in, they're probably not-- TIMMY Let's make Billy go into the haunted house! BOBBIE No! Timothy-- BILLY No! I don't wanna-- FRAN Shut up! It's not haunted. Boys are dumb. BILLY Not haunted? BOBBIE Look, it's getting cold out here, so let's get a move on, whichever houses you plan to go to. OK? MUSIC SCENE 4. ON PORCH SOUND TENTATIVE KNOCK ON THE DOOR BILLY [scared, but hiding it - relieved] No one home! FRAN I hear something! SOUND DOOR OPENS SLOWLY CHILDREN [Gasp] BOBBI Well, he looks normal enough. GRIGG [weird foreignish accent] Help you may I? TIM [giggles] He's funny. FRAN We're here for candy. Trick or treat. GRIGG Please? BOBBIE Oh, gosh, you're foreign aren't you? They might not even DO trick or treat where he comes from. FRAN You have to give us candy or we have to play a trick on you! BOBBIE That's hardly fair if he doesn't know the rules. Plus, you said it yourself, they just moved in. GRIGG Candy? Schweets? I have-- BOOL [child's voice, off mike, accented] I want to go home! I hate it here! Take me home! [Tails off into gibberish with lots of Ls and Ss] GRIGG [agitated] My child. He wants to go back to our old home. He is not used to this one. I should go to him. SOUND DOOR SHUTS TIMMY [beat] I don't want any foreign candy anyway. FRAN Bobbie? BOBBIE No arguments. Time to go home. MUSIC SCENE 5. BOBBIE'S ROOM SOUND TAP ON WINDOW BOBBIE Hank? SOUND FOOTSTEPS BOBBIE Hank, this is hardly-- SOUND WINDOW OPENS BOBBIE Who's that? You're too short for Hank. FRAN [whispered] It's me. BOBBIE [sarcastic] So it's The Whisperer? FRAN Me! Fran! BOBBIE Fran? By Crosby, this is way too late for you to be out playing Halloween jokes, even on a Saturday night. You need to get home - your parents will be worried sick. FRAN Dad's on patrol. BOBBIE Oh, great, then he'll be the one to arrest you for something. FRAN Did you listen to the radio at all tonight? BOBBIE Only Corliss Archer. Gee, she has some trouble with-- FRAN Argh! The news? BOBBIE Why? FRAN The kidnapping news! BOBBIE Look, let me get my penny loafers on and I'll walk you home. FRAN The son of a Greek raccoon was kidnapped today. No, that's not right. Raccoon, typhoon-- BOBBIE Tycoon? FRAN A rich guy. He was kidnapped from their hotel room. BOBBIE Was he a tycoon, or just a millionaire? FRAN [whispered with emphasis] IT DOESN'T MATTER. We heard him, and we need to go rescue him. BOBBIE We did what? FRAN The kid at the haunted house. Screaming "I want to go home"? Does that maybe put some thought into that teased-up skull of yours? BOBBIE They did sound awfully foreign, but I'm not sure if it's Greek. FRAN Well it ain't Spanish or Chinese. Or French. What else is there? BOBBIE Don't say "ain't" - it ain't in the dictionary. FRAN Are you coming, or am I going by myself? BOBBIE Why me? FRAN Who else? Timmy? [dismissive noise] Besides, you're the only one tall enough to see in the windows. MUSIC SCENE 6. OUTSIDE, YARD SOUND CREEPING THROUGH BUSHES BOBBIE OK, this is silly. And dirty. I'm walking‑‑ FRAN No, we have to crawl! They'll see us! BOBBIE No one's looking! FRAN But the window's open, they'll hear us. [panic] Shh! Did you hear that? BOBBIE [beat, listening, then dismissively] No. FRAN [grumpy] Ok. Walk to the window. Get spotted. See if I care. SOUND WALKING CAREFULLY ON GRAVEL. BUSHES RUSTLE BOBBIE Fran? FRAN [off, loud whisper] I'm coming. Keep your hair on. BOBBIE Don't worry-- Shh! SOUND LOUD RUSTLE SOUND [FROM INSIDE] CLICK, FOOTSTEPS NOTE: BOOL AND GRIG ARE INSIDE, HEARD THROUGH A WINDOW, WHILE BOBBIE AND FRAN ARE OUTSIDE. EAVESDROPPING BOOL I down wanna be here. Go home. GRIGG "don't", not "down", child. You need talk some good words, living here. BOOL No talk. No stay. Home! GRIGG Home is soon enough. Soon as requirement is received. FRAN [coming on, loud whisper] What are they saying? BOBBIE Shh! BOOL [speaks foreign] BOBBIE Is that Greek? FRAN Oh, sure, I'm the expert. GRIGG [angry] English. Need to hear normal! BOBBIE [muttered] Like your English is so good, mister. GRIGG People must not apprehend you are strange. FRAN Shh. GRIGG Sleep, child. Dream of home. BOBBIE Now that's just mean. SOUND DOOR CLOSES FRAN See? We've got to rescue him! BOBBIE But what if--? FRAN What if he turns up dead like little Charlie Lindburgh? How you gonna feel then? BOBBIE You need to stop reading those crime books. FRAN Argh! Fine. Boost me up, and you can go. I'll figure something out! BOBBIE No. I-- I'll help, but only if the kid wants to come. That's where I draw the line - if he wants to stay, then we'll just... let your dad know and leave it at that. FRAN Fine, but who's gonna ask him? Better do it now, or he might fall asleep. BOBBIE [sigh, then voice raised a bit, calling quietly] Little boy? BOOL [off, gasp] BOBBIE We're here to -- FRAN [prompting, whisper] --to take you home. BOBBIE We're here to take you home! BOOL [off] Home? SOUND SCUFFLE AS HE ROLLS OUT OF BED AND RUNS TO THE WINDOW FRAN Yes, home! Don't you wanna go home? BOBBIE Your parents must be worried sick about you. BOOL What is *lala* parents? Want home! FRAN Come on then, we'll get you out of there. Bobbie, give him a boost. BOBBIE [sigh] MUSIC SCENE 7. OUTSIDE SOUND NIGHT NOISES, WALKING ON SIDEWALK BOOL [squeak] SOUND MILD SCUFFLE FRAN Put it on! They won't look twice at us if we got masks on! BOBBIE It is a little late for-- FRAN So they'll worry, but they won't-- GRIGG [way off, unearthly shriek] FRAN Eep! That sounds like-- BOOL [squeak] BOBBIE What if he has a car? FRAN Then we duck into the bushes - honestly, does every girl lose her brains when she grows into angora? BOBBIE It's Acrilon. GRIGG [slightly closer, shriek] FRAN Run! BOOL [squeak, ends in gasp] SOUND RUNNING FOOTSTEPS MUSIC SCENE 8. OUTSIDE, A LITTLE LATER BOBBIE [whispered] Do you hear anything? FRAN [listens, then whispered] Nope. BOOL [whispered squeak] BOBBIE [comforting whispers] Shh. It'll be o-k, kid. All we have to do is get you safe and then-- [sudden thought] Say, Fran, what is the plan? Where are we taking this poor kid? FRAN [whispered, sarcastic] I thought we'd just lie here under this bush until morning and hope it doesn't rain. BOOL [a bit too loud] What is *lala* rain? BOBBIE Rain makes-- [whispered] Rain makes you wet. We should take him to your father. He'll know what to do to get him home. BOOL [plaintive wail, way too loud] Home! FRAN [whispered] Great. Now you've set him off again. We can't go to pop, cause - being a cop and all - he might just deduce I sneaked out. BOOL Holme! Home! BOBBIE [whispered] Well, you did. FRAN [exasperated noise, then] Ssh! BOOL Home-- [cut off in mid-word as a hand is clapped over his mouth, then a squeak] FRAN [whispered] His parents must be worried sick about him-- we need to get him h-o-m-e. BOBBIE [whispered] To Greece? [sarcastic] I'm pretty sure my folks' car doesn't have that much gas. FRAN [whispered] See? There's still a little smarts under all that fluff! They're stopping at a hotel downtown. BOBBIE [whispered] Which one? FRAN [whispered] The news didn't say - there can't be that many, can there? BOBBIE [exasperated] Ohhhh! BOOL [muffled squeak] GRIGG [distant, shriek] FRAN [whispered] What is that weird guy doing? He's not exactly sneaky. BOBBIE [whispered] Someone's going to-- SOUND CAR PULLS UP, SINGLE WHOOP OF SIREN FRAN [normal voice, resigned] --Call my dad. BOBBIE It's probably for the best - this bush isn't doing my Acrilon any good. FRAN All right, but-- GRIGG [closer, shriek] BOOL [squeak] BOBBIE It's all right little boy, we won't let the scary man take you away. MUSIC SCENE 9. INSIDE, HOUSE SOUND RADIO PLAYS IN BACKGROUND FRED No way! How could they have found us? BOB Stay cool. It's Halloween, it could be anything. SOUND WINDOW SASH GOES UP BOB [worried] Stop it. SOUND REVOLVER HAMMER CLICKS BACK FRED But it's parked right outside! I'm not going down for this! Go check on the kid. MUSIC SCENE 10. OUTSIDE, STREET GRIGG [shriek] OFFICER HOOPER Ok, that's enough. GRIGG [caught in mid-shriek] *Haysa?* [deep breath] What? OFFICER HOOPER It's much too late, even on Halloween, to be running around screaming. Time to go home and sleep it off, pal. GRIGG Sleep, what? I am missing child. Must find. Child will listen me. [starts to shriek] OFFICER HOOPER [cutting off the shriek] Hey! I'm figuring you're new around here, so you may not understand how we do things in the U-S of A, but if your kid's gone missing, you need to let the authorities - that's me - know about it, so we - I - can help you. GRIGG Help? Too many wordsssss. [wail] Bool! BOOL [slightly off, squeak] OFFICER HOOPER Eh? FRAN [slightly off] SHH! OFFICER HOOPER What the--? GRIGG Bool! OFFICER HOOPER Fran? SOUND GUNSHOT BOBBIE [Scream] BOOL [squeak, quickly muffled] GRIGG Bool! OFFICER HOOPER Get down! FRAN Bobbie, get the kid out of here! OFFICER HOOPER That you, Barbara Chandler? Don't you move a muscle! SOUND GUNSHOT GRIGG [voice no longer sounds remotely human] WHAT IS THAT NOISE? OFFICER HOOPER Stay down, sir, and let me handle this. SOUND QUICK GRAPPLE GRIGG [intense] YOU ME TELL - IS WEAPON? HURT MY CHILD? BOBBIE Heavens to Bette Davis, Fran, it's the kid's real dad! FRAN Phooey. BOOL [long squeak] OFFICER HOOPER [forced calm, but furious underneath] As long as they stay behind my car there, they will be fine, now let go of me and let me stop the idiot who's been shooting up my town. GRIGG SHOOT ARE GUN ARE DANGER? OFFICER HOOPER That's my job. You stay here, and when it's clear, you can go to your kid. [raising his voice] Bobbie! You get those children down behind the car, you hear? BOBBIE Yes, sir, Officer Hooper! OFFICER HOOPER [calling] You're still in trouble. [to Grigg] You. Stay. MUSIC SCENE 11. INSIDE, HOUSE SOUND RADIO PLAYS UNDER BOB You idiot! They weren't here for us! FRED They won't take me alive! Federal pen? Uh-uh! BOB Fine. You play at O-K Corral. I'll be out of the line of fire. FRED [cold, commanding] Don't. BOB What? You gonna shoot me, now? FRED Bring the kid out here. We can still do this. BOB Yeah, we give him back, and they take us alive. I like that - the being alive part. FRED Get him! MUSIC SCENE 12. OUTSIDE HOUSE OFFICER HOOPER Throw out your guns and come out with your hands up! FRED [calling from inside] We've got the kid. Walk away or we kill him. OFFICER HOOPER [calling to off] That's not going to happen. Let the kid go and I'll put in a good word for you. FRED [from inside] I've got all the words I need, copper! ARI [from inside] ow! FRAN That must be the real Greek tyfoon's son, OFFICE HOOPER [warning] Fran!? I told you to-- FRAN Pop! I'm going to be a policeman when I grow up, so I figure I should start learning. OFFICER HOOPER No, you're not, and you shouldn't. This isn't a game. Get back over there-- SOUND GUNSHOT BOTH [react] FRAN He hasta run out of bullets ... eventually. OFFICER HOOPER And how many guns does he have? FRAN Huh? [shrug] I dunno. [realizing] Oh. OFFICER HOOPER See? Now, get back-- SOUND GUNSHOT OFFICER HOOPER [fading out] Oh, heck. Stay right here. On this spot, young lady. MUSIC SCENE 13. INSIDE, HOUSE, BUT HEARD FROM OUTSIDE SOUND RADIO PLAYS UNDER BOB [fading in] You've got the kid, you've got the gun. Let me go. FRED Like you say, I've got the kid and the gun - what do I need you around for, ya bum? BOB Good. [raising his voice] I'm coming out coppers! I'm giving myself up! SOUND FOOTSTEPS, DOOR OPENS SCENE 14. OUTSIDE, SHIFT OF PERSPECTIVE, BUT NO ACTUAL SCENE BREAK BOB Don't shoot! SOUND BOB TAKES THREE MORE STEPS, THEN-- SOUND GUNSHOT BOB Argh! SOUND BODY FALLS SOUND DOOR SLAMS MOMENT OF SILENCE FRAN Is that guy ... dead? OFFICER HOOPER Dammit, I can't even go check. GRIGG [incoherent, alien tongue] OFFICER HOOPER Oh, jeez, not you too? [speaking slow] Go back. Your child is safe. Bobbie has him, over there. GRIGG [deep breath, then equally slowly] This you child? FRAN I'm Fran. I'm really really sorry about-- OFFICER HOOPER Yes. Much as I may want to deny it, she has my nose. FRAN [not getting it] Huh? GRIGG Much words. You child? FRAN He don't speak much English, do he? OFFICER HOOPER [sigh] Yes. Mine. BOOL [squeak] SOUND SKITTERING FOOTSTEPS SOUND GUNSHOT BOOL [Screamy squeak] SOUND BODY DROP FRAN [running off] Hey! Kid! OFFICER HOOPER Fran! No! SOUND [after a moment] SCUTTLING COMING CLOSER FRAN [breathing hard] Here. I think he's OK. BOOL [whimpering] GRIGG My child! OFFICER HOOPER Fran, dammit! FRAN What? He coulda got shot! MUSIC SCENE 15. INSIDE, HOUSE SOUND RADIO ON IN BACKGROUND FRED Kid, you speak English? ARI A little. FRED You know I'm gonna shoot you if you don't do everything I say? ARI Yes. FRED Good. MUSIC SCENE 16. OUTSIDE GRIGG Your child is brave heart. OFFICER HOOPER That's one word for it. GRIGG She bring safe my Bool. OFFICER HOOPER Um, yeah. Dammit. I can't tell where that guy is. GRIGG Some child is hurted there? FRAN Stolen. Like we did, except we were only trying to help. GRIGG [decisive] I help bring child to home. OFFICER HOOPER At least you're an adult, even if you can't understand English. [talking loud again] We go in. You go left - that way - I go right. Get to wall, up against it, then to door. GRIGG Ahhhh. OFFICER HOOPER Does he understand? FRAN I guess. He's nodding. OFFICER HOOPER You don't come with us. FRAN But I-- OFFICER HOOPER Give me your hand. FRAN Are you giving me a gun? OFFICER HOOPER [heavy sigh] SOUND HANDCUFFS SLAP ON WRIST, THEN ON DOOR HANDLE FRAN Hey! OFFICER HOOPER Now you'll stay put. [sigh] I'm leaving the key here, in case. SOUND KEY PUT DOWN ON CAR OFFICER HOOPER Out of reach. [loud, to Grigg] We go. SOUND RUNNING FEET, OFF IN TWO DIRECTIONS SOUND AFTER THEY LEAVE, JINGLE OF STRUGGLING WITH HANDCUFFS FRAN [grunting] Uun uun. Darn it. SOUND SCRABBLING ON THE CAR HOOD, TRYING TO STRETCH FRAN Hey, Bool? BOOL Bool! FRAN Yeah, [talking slow] I'm Fran. BOOL Flan? FRAN Good enough. Can you hand me that? BOOL [Hmm noise] FRAN [slowly again] Give to me? BOBBIE [coming on] You're still here! Let's get going. SOUND REACTION INCLUDING RATTLE OF THE HANDCUFFS FRAN How'd you--? BOBBIE I went around the block. I'm no dummy. FRAN Brilliant! We should-- BOBBIE You are not talking me into any more shenanigans. FRAN [whispered] Bool, get the key! [Up] Huh? No, of course not... I -- BOBBIE Are you -- chained to the car? BOOL Kaaaay? FRAN [too bright] No! Whatever gave you that idea? [whispered] Bool! BOBBIE Oh-- SOUND SMALL METAL SCRAPE BOBBIE --so this isn't the key? FRAN Oh -- Drat! BOOL [squeak] FRAN Boo-ul! MUSIC SCENE 17. OUTSIDE, AROUND HOUSE SOUND RUSTLE IN A BUSH OFFICER HOOPER [muttered] Ok, mister rat bastard kidnapper, let me get a look atcha. GRIGG [off] Go? OFFICER HOOPER [muttered] Oh, good, you know one word. [up, calling very quietly] Make a noise! GRIGG [shriek] SOUND [OFF] CLATTER INSIDE FRED [from inside] What the hell--? OFFICER HOOPER Come out of there with your hands up! FRED [from inside] What's that noise? GRIGG [shriek] OFFICER HOOPER [sudden idea] Uh, what noise? I don't hear anything. FRED [from inside] What do you mean--? You didn't hear that-- GRIGG [shriek] FRED [from inside] --that "THAT"? OFFICER HOOPER [very pleased] Nope. Don't hear anything. They say some people are bothered more than others by [slight chuckle] haunted houses. FRED [a bit disturbed] Haunted--? MUSIC SCENE 18. OUTSIDE AT CAR BOBBIE If I unlock it, you have to come home. FRAN [sounding almost teary] But- but our dads are in there. BOBBIE That's what your dad does. It's his job. FRAN But it's not Bool's dad's job. BOBBIE Bool? Is that your name? BOOL [sounding mournful] Chob. FRAN See? He's upset too. BOBBIE Is he? Tell you what, I'll get you home and then we'll call for more police. FRAN [sniffing] But I was thinking... tsch. ohhhh. SOUND THREE METAL TAPS - key on car BOBBIE [thinking...] What? FRAN [sounding really down] Nothing. Unlock me and we'll go home - [offhanded] even if we maybe COULD help. BOBBIE Right. FRAN Even if maybe our dads end up shot. [long sniff] BOOL [squeaky sniff] SOUND UNLOCKING HANDCUFF BOBBIE Come on. MUSIC SCENE 19. INSIDE, HOUSE SOUND SHUFFLING FEET AS FRED PACES NERVOUSLY, DRAGGING ARI BACK AND FORTH WITH HIM SOUND RADIO IN BACKGROUND FRED [to self] Haunted? Of course. That explains so much. ARI Maybe there is ghosts? FRED That's what haunted means, ain't it? And it's Halloween. OFFICER HOOPER [from outside] It's late, pal. Almost the witching hour. Let's get this sorted out. FRED Witching--? OFFICER HOOPER [from outside] You know, midnight. Let's settle this and get that kid home safe and sound. FRED You're going to tell me I can still get out of this, huh? What about Bob out there? OFFICER HOOPER Oh, your friend here? FRED Friend. [snort] yeah. OFFICER HOOPER Hmm. Killing him on the doorway of house like that might a been a bad move. FRED Whadda you mean? Oh! GRIGG [long, drawn-out shriek] FRED Oh!! SOUND RUSTY CREAK OF DISTANT DOOR, INSIDE FRED What the heck? ARI [scared] Oh no! FRED Shut up, kid. I'm trying to listen, you hear me? ARI [gasp and sniff- trying to stay quiet] FRED [trying to convince himself] It's those cops. They're doing this - [up, calling] You're doing this, aintcha, copper? OFFICER HOOPER Doing what? FRED [clinging to control] Making the damn noises! OFFICER HOOPER [pleased with himself] What noises? MUSIC SCENE 20. INSIDE, HOUSE, UPSTAIRS [NOTE, THEY WHISPER THROUGHOUT SCENE] SOUND CREAKING MOVEMENT BOBBIE [whispered] Frannie, if any of us end up dead, it is entirely your fault. That door was so loud. FRAN On purpose. C'mon, the stairs are over here. BOBBIE How do you know? This house-- FRAN Sleepover two years ago, when Jennie and Sam lived here. BOBBIE Your father is going to kill me. FRAN We'll be upstairs - well out of the line of fire. Now c'mon. BOOL 'mon. FRAN See, Bool agrees with me. BOBBIE Yeah. Like a parrot. [sigh] SOUND TIPTOEING FOOTSTEPS MUSIC SCENE 21. INSIDE, HOUSE, DOWNSTAIRS SOUND RADIO MUTTERS IN BACKGROUND FRED [muttering] They've probably got the back door covered... ARI [small voice] You should let me go. FRED [about to hit him] Ahh! SOUND CREAKING FOOTSTEPS SOUND IN WALL AND CEILING FRED Shh! Hell! What's that? ARI [scary whisper] Evil spirits. FRED [gulp] Really? ARI Maybe it is your dead friend. He is very angry, I think. FRED [weak] Shut up. SOUND THEIR SCUFFLING FOOTSTEPS FRED We'll just - Let's go check it out, eh? I bet even ghosts don't like getting shot. MUSIC SCENE 22. INSIDE, HOUSE, UPSTAIRS [NOTE: STILL WHISPERING] FRAN OK, Bool, you see this vent? BOOL See. BOBBIE Great, now he's Spanish. FRAN Sh. Bool, lean in and make a scary noise, like this... [she does, and the noise echoes through the vents] BOOL [like a laugh] Ah! [leans in, mimics her noise, but it ends in his standard squeak - all echoey] BOBBIE Did we ever figure out where Bool and his dad come from? FRAN This isn't the time. C'mon. Now, Bobbie, you creak this door - not too often, just from time to time. Got it? MUSIC SCENE 23. OUTSIDE NEAR FRONT DOOR OFFICER HOOPER OK, fella, time to come out. [a beat] Are you in there? [beat] Oh, darn it all to--, they're gone. Come on - [slow] help me break in the door. GRIGG [yes] *Heh*. MUSIC SCENE 24. INSIDE, HOUSE, UPSTAIRS FRAN I'll be right across the hall - now start. SOUND DOOR OPENS FRAN Eep! BOBBIE Oh, no! BOOL [squeak, which echoes] FRED Ghosts, eh. Looks like I got me a bunch more bargaining chips. All of you move out here in the hall, real slow. [snarls] Get over there-- ARI [gasp] SOUND THUD AS HE HITS THE WALL FRED Keep your hands where I can see 'em! FRAN [sarcastic] Of course, I might just have a gun. SOUND SMACK FRED Keep your mouth shut! FRAN [gasps in real pain] BOOL [mimics her gasp] FRED You, too! BOOL Flan! [squeaky growl] Lalalala! FRED What the hell's wrong with that kid? BOOL [growl builds] FRED [starting to get freaked out] Stop it. What the hell? BOBBIE Fran, is Bool glowing? FRAN [sniff, then uncertain] Um, I think so. BOOL [shriek which is a childish echo of Grigg's] FRED [scream of terror] SOUND GUNSHOT BOBBIE, BOOL, FRAN, ARI - scream, gasp, etc. SOUND POUNDING FEET COMING UP THE STAIRS GRIGG [full-on shriek, deeper and very alien] OFFICER HOOPER Holy cow! What the--? FRED The light! No! [drawn out scream, which fades into a weird little popping noise] BOBBIE I guess we--[gasp] might know--[gasp] where they came from, now. OFFICER HOOPER [suspicious] Where'd he go? GRIGG I made him nothing. He try my child hurt. Your child also. OFFICER HOOPER Yeah, I, uh, noticed-- FRAN [excited] Are you guys Martians? OFFICER HOOPER [exasperated] --but she's clearly fine. GRIGG I know not Marchan. BOOL [Part muffled, satisfied] Flan! FRAN [just as pleased] Bool! BOBBIE I don't know what to tell you, Mister - officer, I mean - Hooper. OFFICER HOOPER Don't worry, I blame my daughter. [Back to Grigg] So we don't have to worry about him coming back? GRIGG Nothing. No colme back. OFFICER HOOPER And what exactly - well - are you? ARI They saved us, is that not enough? FRAN Yeah. They're "good people," as mom would say. GRIGG No concern, Hooper man. We no stay now, you see us be do that. We find more - uh - new home. BOOL Home? No! [plaintive] Flan! GRIGG [softly] No, Bool. Go. OFFICER HOOPER Tell me one thing, Grigg. You planning to invade? GRIGG *Haysa*? FRAN He means are you gonna bring a bunch of people here and try and take over the planet - like in the movies? GRIGG We hide - no one come with. Bad place come away. Alone. FRAN There! BOBBIE Are you thinking--? OFFICER HOOPER [considering] I'm thinking I don't want to try writing this up. Much easier if we just didn't see anything. The one guy shot the other, then when he saw it was hopeless, he skedaddled. BOBBIE But-- what--? FRAN I didn't see anything. You, Ari? ARI No. I was much too frightened. He threw me against a wall and then ran off before my head cleared. FRAN See, Bobbie? BOOL Bah-bee? BOBBIE That's kinda cute. Good thing I-- I didn't see anything else. Besides, anyone who would do whatever it takes to protect their kid - well, they can't be too bad. OFFICER HOOPER You're still not babysitting for Fran ever again. BOBBIE [truly relieved] Oh! Thank you! FRAN Hey! MUSIC, CLOSING OLIVIA Now that you know how to find us, don't be a stranger - we have enough of those already...
The Paul Lynde Halloween Special (October 29, 1976) It's the first TableCakes crossover! But is Gayest Episode Ever making an appearance on Monday Afternoon Monday or vice versa? Who cares! The point is that Sam Pancake — actor, comedian and host of MAM — is discussing The Paul Lynde Halloween Special with Drew and Glen in all its vintage bonkers badness. If there is one significant difference in this episode, it's probably that it's light on clips because 1) the jokes aren't great and 2) Sam does a good enough impression of Paul Lynde that he can spare you from having to listen to the original audio. Watch this special right now on YouTube, if you want to for some weird reason. Subscribe to Monday Afternoon Monday and, in particular, listen to Drew's episode about the Valerie Harper made-for-TV shocker Don't Go to Sleep. Also the episode with Drew “Other Drew” Droege is great. Listen to Deep Cuts & Superficial Wounds' three-hour all-music, no-talk Halloween special Listen to the Singing Mountain Halloween finale Listen to Smart Mouth episodes: Circus Peanuts / Persimmons / Chocolate Chip Cookies / Ice Cream Floats Listen to the previous GEE episodes about Jennifer Slept Here and Bewitched. Also here is the clip from The Critic that Drew mentions. Buy the first issue of Drew and Glen's new comic anthology, Beyond Sunset. Go shop at our TeePublic store! Follow: GEE on Facebook • GEE's Facebook Group • GEE on Twitter • GEE on Instagram • Drew on Twitter • Glen on Twitter Listen: iTunes • Spotify • Stitcher • Google Play • Google Podcasts • Himalaya • TuneIn And yes, we do have an official website! We even have episode transcripts courtesy of Sarah Neal. Our logo was designed by Rob Wilson. This episode's art was designed by Ian O'Phelan. This episode was edited by Meika Grimm. This is a TableCakes podcast.
GEE & URSULA AGREE, TO DISAGREE // GUEST: Heather Bosch on a family that survived a wildfire // WE HEAR YOU! and WORDS TO LIVE BY See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Dr. Gee digs right into this season's theme of Black Joy by bringing back Dr. Christopher Bass for another illuminating conversation. From the perspective of a psychologist, Dr. Bass gets at the mindset of what it means to have Black joy. They discuss the difference between pursuing happiness in America and knowing joy, and the effect of both. Dr. Bass refers to the book, Post-Traumatic Slave Syndrome by Dr. Joy Degruy, in their conversation. Check it out to learn more! alexgee.com Support the show with exclusive perks: patreon.com/blacklikeme
What is the Beast? It's more than just a big, scary creature. In this case it's the monster that consumes and destroys society through both direct and indirect actions. Examples? How about allowing the Taliban to completely envelop Afghanistan in record time and leaving American citizens and $85 BILLION in US military equipment behind? Yeah, that's unleashing the beast and giving it an amazing boost. Nice work. Lots more examples in the episode!What's the Buffet? That's all of us. Whether we are an appetizer, main course or a desert, we all have a place somewhere along the Beast's feeding trough, the only question is where? Perfect example is what's going on in Portland, Oregon. The genius mayor there believed his appeasement would win him the hearts and minds of the AntiFa anarchists, but all it did was put him further back on the buffet. Then he made the mistake of believing his own propaganda and went down to mingle with his newfound friends, and they turned on him! Gee, what a surprise. Anarchists don't like any form of government Mr. Mayor, not even liberal socialists. Can't say we didn't warn you!The Beast and The Buffet (2 parts) is the final segments of the All Things Crime mini-series Evil, The Beast and the Buffet. Please comment below as to how much you agree or disagree with the series!Also please subscribe!All Things Crime is a new, comprehensive video series that will explore every aspect of crime and the ensuing investigation, one video interview at a time. The host, Jared Bradley, is the President of M-Vac Systems, which is a wet-vacuum based forensic DNA collection system, and has experience traveling the world training all levels of law enforcement and crime lab DNA analysts in using the M-Vac to help solve crime. Along the way he has met people from all walks of life and experience in investigating crimes, so is putting that knowledge to use in another way by sharing it in these videos.If you are interested in more videos about the M-Vac, DNA and investigations, also check out the M-Vac's channel @https://www.youtube.com/c/MVacSystems...
Download II Chronicles 17-23 We are in the Nation Stream reading from the Easy-to-Read Version. 7streamsmethod.com | @7StreamsMethod | @serenatravis | #7Streams | Donate Commentary by Dr. Drake Travis Lord, we read of all the tumult today, the good and bad that come and go and we want to simply pause and escape the chaos that accompanies the evil people. Lord, keep US in your will, your hand, and in your sight. Amen. 17 - Jehoshaphat becomes the new king. He was for the most part good. He resembled his father Asa, who was good for 39 of his 41 years. Remembered his refusal to “take things to God” the last two years of his life? Notice the same motif in verse three in this chapter, “…in his young life he did the good things…” Jehoshaphat obeyed and sought our the Lord's advice most of the time. Let's learn what we can from him and not gloss over the things Jehoshaphat erred in. Remember, is it ok for a boat builder to fix ‘most' of the leaks?! Yeah, you get what we're saying Jehoshaphat sent teachers across Judah to teach the Law of The Lord. This is good. The people are strengthened as is the nation because of it. The neighbors start bringing gifts to stay on Judah's good side. The army is trained and tallied at 1,160,000 battle-ready soldiers who were smartly stationed across the kingdom. Do we realize that their army in a kingdom that was far smaller than the US State of Rhode Island was larger than the US Army is as of 2016? Judah was a country that was stocked, fortified, fed and ready to defend itself. 18 - The first thing that ought strike at our hearts is “why is Jehoshaphat dabbling with darkness?” He conspired with Ahab&Jezebel to have their daughter and his son marry. Gee what kind of gem might that young lady be?! So Jehoshaphat and Ahab are side by side and conversing. Not only are their children married. He later goes into battle with him. It's foolish! Hint: Ahab and Jezebel are utterly dark souls. Don't do deals with the Devil, ditch him. Later Ahab needs a word from a prophet regarding war with the Arameans, but he wants to hear what he wants to hear; not the truth. It's like the Neil Diamond lyric, “pour me a drink and I'll tell you some lies.” Ahab prefers ‘go ahead, lie to me'. And he likes it that way! Jehoshaphat has had plenty warning but he doesn't cut these ties with Ahab. Micaiah is a truthful prophet and he has enough presence of mind to toy with Ahab and obviously/openly reveal to Ahab that Ahab prefers to be lied to v.s. told the truth. As Micaiah prophesies the drama is intense, and he pays for telling the truth - but lying would have been far more costly. We just read it so it doesn't need to described again. Ahab proceeds into war, gets drilled, and dies. 19 - Though Ahab dies, Jehoshaphat returns from battle. Consequently the scolding he receives from Jehu is warranted. Next Jehoshaphat places judges around the country. This is reminiscent of Moses getting Jethro's advice in Exodus 18 to appoint judges to spread the work around v.s bottle-necking everything through him like control-freaks tend to do. 20 - The encounter here is a very famous one. Enemies are coming to eliminate Judah. The Lord's help is needed immediately. They cannot afford to lose this battle to Ammon and Moab. It's basically D-Day and Judah, led by Jehoshaphat, had to win. They consult the Lord - something Jehoshaphat did not do enough - but he did so here. His prayer in the open meeting is legendary. The reply from God comes via Jahaziel. The plan of marching to battle with the worship singers leading the pack was Jehoshaphat's orders. Memo to all of us: worship first and God can work His plan on our behalf. The enemy turns on itself and completely obliterates the threat (not one survived!). It is a victory for Judah AND a payday. How long does it take you to rake up your autumn leaves? Well imagine having so much cash bills dropped on your lawn that it takes three days to rake it all up and put it in bags. That is what Judah and Jehoshaphat are dealing with here. This time they listened to God and worshipped first instead of negotiating with evil people. The rewards were staggering. To summarize Jehoshaphat's reign, he did well a lot of the time but could have done it God's way all the time and everywhere but he didn't. His attempt at partnering in a shipping company was a disaster. Yes his faith in God was admirable but his concurrent dabbling with dark people marked his life as well. 21 - Jehoshaphat's dubious commitments end up plaguing his children as well. His son Jehoram, whom Jehoshaphat arranged to marry Athaliah - daughter of Ahab/Jezebel - was as wretched as can be. He removes his brothers from the scene [murder], so to eliminate any threat to his power- so all is well… right?! Tell me about it! This is put in there at the opening of Jehoram's reign to tell us what kind of man he was. The fights of his entire rule begin in his own heart. He is against God and his own family. So God turns on him. Soon all his neighbors turn on him (he unwittingly asked for it!). And at the end of his life the fight comes right home to him and into his own guts. Did you catch the misery he was in at the end of his days. It was revolting. Even his own people got rid of him as quickly and quietly as possible. Everyone was relieved to have him gone. 22 - Ahaziah is chosen king. He is grandson of Jehoshaphat on his father's side and Jezebel on his mother's side. So he is from a partly good family …and v.v. Well, how does a car roll when half it's tires are inflated and half are flat? You get the message. But Ahaziah's parents were both bad though his father Jehoram was raised right, sort of. He allies with Joram; the King of Israel (his ancestors were equally mistaken to do this). This has him encounter Jehu who kills them both since Jehu was on a blitz to wipe out Ahab's entire family. This enrages Athaliah; Ahaziah's mother. She retaliates by killing all the king's children in her scheme to assume power. Athaliah was raised by Jezebel, remember? The next in line for the throne, Joash, is hidden in the Temple for six years while Athaliah ran Judah illegitimately for those six years. 23 - This is a house-cleaning chapter. It is a comprehensive plan to rid the country of Athaliah and the residue of Baal she brought in since being a daughter of Jezebel who was raised a Sidonian pagan. Jehoiada took leadership in bringing the priests together, arming them all and arranging for the elimination of Athaliah. The Temple rule is played perfectly, which drew Athaliah past her boundary. The king-in-hiding had been carefully brought into place and we just read the illicit accusation of “treason” and consequently evil Athaliah is taken out and disposed of. With an evil queen gone, with a priest coordinating matters, with a good [though young] king newly enthroned, Judah was set to have some good years. All Joash had to do was stay on the path that the Priest Jehoiada had brought them down so far? Would he stay on this right path?
GEE & URSULA AGREE, TO DISAGREE // “I have a 7-year-old son. Here's why I'm going to stop pushing him to play sports.” Should you push kids to do activities they don't want to do? // WE HEAR YOU! and WORDS TO LIVE BY See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Producer and musician John Vanderslice returns to the Truth About Vintage Amps Podcast with Skip Simmons. This week's episode is sponsored by Jupiter Condenser Co., Amplified Parts and Grez Guitars. Special podcast offers: Use the discount code TAVA to get free domestic shipping through October 31, 2021 on any speaker at jupiter-speakers.com. Use the discount code TAVA10 to get 10% off all orders at amplifiedparts.com through November 13, 2021. Some of the topics discussed this week: 8:40 Special guest: Musician/producer John Vanderslice returns! dEATh bUg, CRYSTALS; running Tiny Telephone studio during COVID, getting double-vaxxed, staying motivated, tape vs. digital recordings, Forssell converters, the four-track pre-amp used by Mk.Gee on Dijon's new song (YouTube link), Ritchie Blackmore uses an AKAI tape deck, Gibson Falcons, Peter Jensen's Magnovox speakers, Schoeps CMC and MK4 microphones, Neve 31102, Shure 565, Bogen RP2 mic-pre, Stromberg-Carlson AV38, Yamaha NS-10s as mics, Frank Sinatra, Vanderslice's Spotify Playlists (link) 1:06:43 Recommended Reading: They Might Be Giants' BOOK (order link), "I Broke My Own Rule" (YouTube link); Warren Ellis' 'Nina Simone's Gum' (Amazon link) 1:11:38 How to interview prospective amp techs 1:19:32 Making a copy of a Magnatone 210 with a jack socket on either side of the vibrato circuit; Kewpie Japanese mayonnaise 1:21:56 The Fender Champ 12's speaker-driven reverb (revisited), peppers in a cast iron pan 1:27:42 Bridging a Fender tube amp 1:30:46 Optimizing a Stromberg-Carlson AU-42 for guitar; 'Look Me in the Eye' by (Amazon link), old olive orchards 1:38:49 Fixing goop'd amps (Joe Bonamassa's Instagram link) 1:42:24 Eric Daw (Fret Files Podcast, luthier, Gibson handle MacGyver) 1:43:56 Blown Marshall output transformer (JCM800 2303) 1:46:09 Outboard reverb and trem units: Weber's ReVibe and TorVibe 1:47:47 Jumpered Marshall amps and La Costena & El Pato Frijoles (email us for the recipe) 1:52:08 Steve Dawson (Music Makes & Soul Shakers); a 1953 Fender Deluxe (5B3) with a sweet spot at 4; troubleshooting a dud Deluxe clone 1:58:57 Ohsawa organic tamari; availalbe: An SVT bass amp in Oroville, California, a single-ended Knight PA head at Skip's, and a Vox Cambridge Reverb Co-hosted by the Fretboard Journal's Jason Verlinde. Email or send us a voice memo to: firstname.lastname@example.org or leave us a voicemail or text at 509-557-0848. And don't forget to share the show with friends.
I'm this episode: KG and Gee start the episode off in the most 420 wrap-up way, discussing some of the best weed we've smoked in Cali (17:45). KG speaks on how Gee's dad was roasting KG at the Cadillac car show (23:02). They discuss Brittney Renner on the prowl at Jackson State (38:20). And we can't go another episode without discussing the song of the “ISLANNNND BWOY” (59:18). And much more!! Listen
What is the Beast? It's more than just a big, scary creature. In this case it's the monster that consumes and destroys society through both direct and indirect actions. What's the Buffet? That's all of us. Whether we are an appetizer, main course or a desert, we all have a place somewhere along the Beast's feeding trough, the only question is where? Perfect example is what's going on in Portland, Oregon. The genius mayor there believed his appeasement would win him the hearts and minds of the AntiFa anarchists, but all it did was put him further back on the buffet. Then he made the mistake of believing his own propaganda and went down to mingle with his newfound friends, and they turned on him! Gee, what a surprise. Anarchists don't like any form of government Mr. Mayor, not even liberal socialists. Can't say we didn't warn you!The Beast and The Buffet (2 parts) is the final segments of the All Things Crime mini-series Evil, The Beast and the Buffet. Please comment below as to how much you agree or disagree with the series!Also please subscribe!All Things Crime is a new, comprehensive video series that will explore every aspect of crime and the ensuing investigation, one video interview at a time. The host, Jared Bradley, is the President of M-Vac Systems, which is a wet-vacuum based forensic DNA collection system, and has experience traveling the world training all levels of law enforcement and crime lab DNA analysts in using the M-Vac to help solve crime. Along the way he has met people from all walks of life and experience in investigating crimes, so is putting that knowledge to use in another way by sharing it in these videos.If you are interested in more videos about the M-Vac, DNA and investigations, also check out the M-Vac's channel @https://www.youtube.com/c/MVacSystems...
GEE & URSULA AGREE, TO DISAGREE // Should people losing their jobs for refusing to vaccinate get unemployment? // WE HEAR YOU! and WORDS TO LIVE BY See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Join Daniel Nickles in this episode with Ken Gee, the Founder and Managing Partner of KRI Partners. As a former accountant and tax manager, with every transaction, Ken noticed more and more how all of his clients were into this "thing" called real estate. Seeking the difference of not answering to anyone and not working extensively himself, Ken decided to buy his first 28-unit apartment building. In this episode, Ken explains the aspects of his W-2 life that helped establish his firm, why there needs to be commonality with investors and strategies, why KRI Partners only do multifamily, and the tips on due diligence that investors use before placing capital with REI firms. In this episode you will learn: Understanding finance and how lenders think You have to live a goal-driven life! Mismatches create unhappiness. What facets of an REI firm should you look into? As a passive investor, what should you ask and not ask about? About Ken Gee: Mr. Gee is the founder and managing partner of KRI Partners and the KRI group of companies. He has more than 24 years of significant real estate, banking, private equity transaction, and principal investing experience. Throughout his career, he has been involved in transactions valued in excess of $2.0 billion, much of which has included the acquisition, management, and financing of various multi-family real estate projects, as well as playing a significant role as a member of due diligence and transaction structure planning teams for several private equity firms specializing in the small and middle markets. Prior to forming KRI Partners, Mr. Gee was a tax manager with Deloitte & Touche LLP, where he focused his practice on state and local tax planning, merger and acquisition due diligence, and transaction structure planning for private equity and middle-market companies. Some of his major clients included The Riverside Company, Key Equity Capital Partners, Blue Point Capital, Linsalata Capital Partners, The Zaremba Group, Charter One Bank, and Applied Industrial Technologies, Inc. Connect with Ken Gee on: Website: https://www.kripartners.com/ Connect with Two Smart Assets on: Website: https://twosmartassets.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TwoSmartAssets/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/twosmartassets/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC5b8x2o3ByaPBcz5Lkev7uw ✅Check out our free apartment syndication sample deal: https://twosmartassets.com/sample-deal-form
In the first episode of Season 6, Dr. Gee breaks down the theme of Embracing Black Joy, gives a historical context, and sets the stage for the new season. As always, Dr. Gee is inspiring while providing his unique perspective. alexgee.com patreon.com/blacklikeme