Are You With Me Right Now?

On whatever quarantine day this is, Handsome Man and I gatekeep Animal Crossing and debate the pointless nature of kids’ shows’ decisions to hire “recreational drug users” to teach our children. We said it would be short but it’s full-length, so take that.

This episode is last episode, but better and clearer and calmer. After having some time to think, I get to the core issue: I'm not being treated like a parent, so acting in the role of a parent without the respect or authority associated with that role is exhausting and upsetting. We get to what my needs actually are and agree on how to fix it. Feelsgoodman.

Tonight I air some grievances about stepparenting and ugly-cry while probably projecting a lot. We talk oversensitivity in SM-SD interactions, parenting decisions, and not feeling like a part of the unit.

In this one, we talk about sex! And procrastination, and miscommunication. We’ve been out of sync. But we got Switches so we can play together, so everything’s fine lol. Traveling is on the agenda — I’m about to visit a friend out of state for the longest time we’ve ever been apart, and we finally have the freedom to plan a couples’ trip and a family beach trip. (At least, we thought so when we recorded this episode. Thanks, COVID!) Also, Chris’ little brother’s girlfriend is the worst and I hate her #bpd

In this rousing addition to the series, we’re nice to each other after our stupid fight about my cat. In the interest of being extra cheesy and gross, we talk about the fact that living together is going very well! We contemplate all the ways that things are easier under the same roof. And then we talk about babies! Because we’re gonna have some at some point. The end.

We basically just squabble about my very rude cat and then make up after I realize we’re not even really fighting about my cat. I sing Kapp’n’s song from Animal Crossing: New Leaf with the grace of a (different) cat in heat while I go to the island to catch bugs. We debate the merits of parenting and stepparenting, and just kinda talk about how tough of a job it is and how sweet the payoff is.

Woe is me!!! (Not really, but my boss does majorly suck.) Daddy has started his own business, so we’re officially rebranding to an entrepreneurial podcast. Handsome Business Man and I are getting serious about shared finances and big purchases. We’re also at a couple different crossroads in work and parenting, so stay tuned for discussion. Parents and stepparents of the world, we salute you. Final note: baby fever consumes all. Peace out.

We were both really weird today!!! Welcome to my monologue on safe love as an example, depersonalization/derealization, combining finances, and how cute my boyfriend’s lil baby legs look when he breaks into our own house through a window (because I locked us out by accident). I wordily equate safe love with psychiatric medication as a medium that allows you to grow through emotional work. We have some smushy relationship appreciation — a good partner vs. a good friend, and the magic of finding both of those in the same person for the first time. Also get some good explanation of how Borderlines process shock, difficult new experiences, and acclimating once trying something new has unexpectedly safe results.

Sorry for taking our sweet time uploading; it was Christmas for us WASPs. This is our first episode after getting settled into our new house — and everything that comes with blending a family. Step parenting is... really hard. And I’m practicing, which means getting things wrong. We talk a little about space, boundaries, and feeling territorial as we all adjust to the new family living situation. At Jordan Peterson’s request, we fight! About engagement rings!! Because I want one. Whenever that time comes. The end.

In our last episode before we moved, I just had a lot of feelings okay!!!!!!!!!! We minorly fight about my mean and stupid cat. I make it uncomfortable for everyone by being defensive, oops. We then hash out my most BPD episode as of late, and it turns out I do care about what my dad thinks! Surprise surprise. Also establish “dysfunctional” as a not-funny joke insult. Sometimes it be like that.

In this episode I am SUPER SURE that I don’t really care about what my dad thinks. We interrupt just about every topic to repeat that we’re excited to live together, and I get minorly butthurt before discussing Maslow’s Hierarchy and how the needs of an individual mesh with the needs of a partner. You get an update on the Brother who overdosed and the relational mess that comes afterwards. We also dote on Handsome Man’s therapist, ex-sister-in-law, and best friend and the importance of personal experience vs. gained knowledge.

Todayyyyy we talk about the fact that “crisis” is a relative concept, lol. We get mildly inflammatory about whether drag shows allow men to profit off of feminine sexuality while female sex workers are persecuted for it. The main event of is a discussion of addiction in romantic relationships, and whether staying with someone who has a severe, active addiction actually helps anyone involved. We wrap up after examining what makes depression a disorder and how it can be contagious to those close to you.

Sorry the audio on my end is T-rash this week — I was puttering all over the house and packing for our move! Things with my Daddy’s dad are going... not great, per usual. But his latest therapy session shed some light on what the root issue is between them. We talk emotional protest behavior and what a sense of self really is. Handsome Man finishes us off by requesting an explanation of disability accommodations, and I give a scattered defense of my own disability-related needs.

This week, from the Thunderdome, our two relationship heavyweights break some big news! We talk buying a house together, transitioning the baby into the move, and my desire to make our bed “ours.” We bring up my dear ol’ Mom, her feelings about the big step, and the conversation we had about it, then talk about how I’ve been my-momming my sponsor over her engagement and partner choice. All this while trying to play video games! Listen to us get, waste magic, and run into each other incessantly. Much expert.

This episode is mostly Daddy’s. We get a 3meta5me and talk about the current state of his relationship (or lack thereof) with his dad. Beyond the nitty gritty details of the discord, we expand the issue a little to his daughter and how to navigate being exiled from family life when other members end up being collateral damage. Squatter’s rights make an appearance, as does his stepmother, in the fallout of this fight.

This week your favorite attachment-challenged couple gives you a lot of food for thought. We start off with the lady’s first serious BPD splitting episode since the last one that brought her to a hospital, then kick into gear with her sponsor and the growing estrangement between the two. Finally we wrap up with some Father Peterson and his take on religion, in the context of the Mr’s sibling’s current relationship.

To please our Overlord Jordan Peterson, who asserts that the only way to keep a relationship healthy is to fight, we spar about the merits of strip clubs vs. play parties and when/why someone in a monogamous relationship may find themselves in these establishments! We also figure out what exactly intimacy means to us both. This episode was fun -- we haven't gone to the mat to really debate something in a while. Enjoy.

Today’s teeny-tiny episode features chats about playing Smash while in a relationship, “surprise” Christmas gifts, Stardew Valley addiction as an escape from a postgraduate degree program, and boring Masters classes. We celebrate Daddy’s return to therapy after the falling-out with his dad and also the fact that I haven’t been a complete mess despite being unable to attend therapy for a whole month.

Tonight in the Thunder Dome (the same room)... We get real rowdy on the topics of racism and fatphobia, Eddie Murphy’s Raw vs. Jordan Peele’s Get Out, and armchair activism as white-knighting and exhaustingly virtue signaling. We talk about the legal age of consent and why statutory rape is wrong and illegal. We catch you up to speed on boyfriend’s current daddy issues and debate the difficulties of trying to make things work with a parent that doesn’t really care about you. We wrap up with a discussion on the origins of lying to your kids and how being parented by narcissists makes you hate yourself!

This episode is sad -- you've been warned. After tripping in therapy, the boyfriend gives us a bigger look at the story of his mom and her death. He tells us about his family memories and how they all related to each other. We check in on our relationship, my lack of control over some aspects of my recovery maintenance, and emotional regulation overall. Discussion of "pulling the rug out from under you" makes a #BPD appearance as well, feat. abandonment feelings!!

Our relationship seems to be doing great lately, so let's introduce some politics! First we dig into an important relationship milestone, how unprepared everyone is for parenting and stepparenting, and the formation of some satisfying therapy goals. Hot on the heels of relationship progress comes a rousing discussion of public education, climate change, and Why The Left Is Destroying The World TeeEm. We wrap up with the chicken-egg scenario of why my kinks exist.

Welcome back to AYWMRN! This week we catch you up on last week’s episode’s lost half, discuss my trip home and what I learned, and ponder children’s autonomy in a custody situation. We also spend a lot of time talking about the infamous ex-wife in an attempt to understand their past relationship and humanize her so I can stop disliking her for the good of both the child and myself.

Join us for a short episode, in which we get to record right next to each other! Tonight we talk about recent therapy, tell each other that no one’s opinion counts, try to get some information about my man’s mom, and talk fears about financial insecurity. 

In this special-edition, one-of-kind AYWMRN episode, our hometown heroes have a recording issue and lose the first half of the podcast to the void. RIP 30 minutes of meaningful family discussion. But here’s the surviving second half, in which we visit the issues of family violence, actual change as a human being, and being high in therapy! True to form, at one point I feel ashamed and cry. Gotta make sure we hit all the bases, even in half the time.

This late episode is brought to you by the Madonna/Whore Complex, Freud’s “idiocy,” daddy issues x 2, and calling out sick from daycare. Hear me dawn over my Daddy and embarrass him by talking about sexting while he was out of town! Learning to ride a bike is really hard. Don’t push your kids down a hill, guys.

We regret to inform you that I continue to sound like I have BPD in this episode. First off, we had a super bomb weekend together full of ~being a family~. Second, we've now been doing the dating thing for half a year. On topic #2: when does requesting verbal affirmation of a relationship become unreasonable? Who's crazy? I might be crazy. Bonus content at the end includes actual resolution/IRL discussion of the podcast topics before we turned the recording off.

Short episode special, coming up! We narrate our first ad/solicitation email, talk kitchen simulators that help you hate your spouse for 0 profit, and try to figure out how to be a consistent support for a child when you don’t live with them. Listen to us try to figure out what kind of place I should have in the Loved Child’s life before we can move in together and figure out family dynamics. Roles are hard.

Hold on to your butts because this episode is packed. We start slow with eating disorders, ramp up to substance abuse and self-harm, move into a rousing discussion of parental trustworthiness, and end on a question of How To Kink Fulfillingly. I play therapist for a little bit and get into what my dude wishes he had gotten from his father, and we set the stage to pick apart more of his family at a later date.

This weeeeeeek we come to you late with some more trauma discussion! The female half of AYWMRN is super used to abuse because just about every one of her close friends grew up with it too. We also get into some parenting and talk about the responsibility of sharing the burden. Boyfriend asks me to set fewer alarms and it goes way better than expected. What a time to be alive.

This episode returns to our normal, non-shitty communication process! In 018, we discuss therapy breakthroughs, the value of learning lessons on your own vs. being told to learn them, and the absolutely novel concept of not enmeshing yourself in family interactions that aren't even yours. Cortisol and the feeling of danger that accompany emotional trauma make an appearance, as do the ideas of being a "fixer" and genuine appreciation of my boyfriend's innate empathy.

Buckle up, kids, ‘cause Mom and Dad dig into some parenting topics tonight. From teaching your kids drama/trauma to triangulating your baby daddy, this is your one-stop-shop for blending your families with as little murder as possible. We wrap up with a macro lens look at the value of being rude and when teaching manners becomes detrimental. Also, the lady half has realized since 016 that she cuts her dude off every 15 seconds and absolutely domineers the podcast lately. Yikes. She’s working on it, for real.

What kinds of friendships are worth the energy of their upkeep? Tonight we talk about the ups and downs of friend groups and how supportive/not-so-supportive they can be over the years. Parenting and the inherent drama of young children takes the stage, and the two halves try to suss out if the world's most adorable 3-year-old is being rude. Intellectual property makes a surprise comeback in the context of gaming engines. We end our session, dear listener, with a par-for-the-course discussion of racial dynamics in American media and the global economy.

In this installment, the ever-determined halves of AYWMRN release their post-fight statement. They make stupid wrestling jokes and dissect the dichotomy of friendships vs. romantic relationships. They also pull apart the ideas of relating to a person in the present as they are vs. fixating on a relationship as an entity separate from and larger than either partner themself. Brought to you by bitterness, self-loathing, and alcohol/collar ASMR!

After skipping The Haunted Episode (the never-to-be-aired 013), the AYWMRN team returns to you with their regularly scheduled emotions. The female half talks emotional sacrifices (stay tuned in the long run for this discussion) and concrete steps to making witnessing a trip more palatable; the male half goes over his growing understanding of BPD and how young'uns in school these days have a lack personal responsibility. Toward the end we defy his therapist's request to not drop off into politics, oops.

Listen to us fight about drugs and trauma for like an hour straight! I say mean things, have BPD, and cry. Debates about acceptance and boundaries abound. Spoiler: we both get hurt and frustrated and stubborn and no closer to a resolution. This issue sucks and I hate it. It gets better in 014, though -- promise.

Today the two halves of AYWMRN run the gamut from DBT coping skills and the balance of patience vs. appreciation to global empathy and states' rights. Do identity intersections serve a purpose? Do 12 Step programs even work? Who gets to live anyway? We sure don't know.

Tonight's all about a power dynamic and the vulnerability that comes with it. We have some #feelings about what it means to be Little and the idea of being Little around people outside of our relationship. Join our ongoing conversation about kink as a sexual venture vs. nonsexual self-expression. Also, have some #insecurity on both sides about family gatherings, non-overlapping friend groups, infidelity, control, and friendship boundaries!

This week we talk in circles about relationship boundaries with kids, how to not be gross with a DD/lg dynamic, how truly abnormal my parents are about dating, and the completely novel idea of having a meaningful one-on-one relationship with your future stepkid. Listen til the end to hear if we fake-break-up or not! Gotta keep you guys on your toes somehow.

We finally recorded in the same room again! Which means that the voice quality is 100000 times softer and clearer than usual. In what is undoubtedly my favorite episode yet, the two halves of this emotional podcast discuss collective identity, the downfall of Mike Boudet, and familial communication. We talk some more about the Emotional Incest Syndrome and why video games are so fun.

In which the male half of this podcast gets cheeky and scores my emotional meltdown, lol. Tonight we delve into the mechanics of child abuse, why I am terrified of parenting, and taking an important step towards being a family two months into a relationship! We end with a rousing discussion of intellectual property and whether artists deserve to be compensated for their work. Just another wild ride with the AYWMRN crew, so buckle up -- it's the law.

I avoided publishing this episode for a week because it talks about hard feelings and mistakes and the ways we self-sabotage in a relationship!! In this installment of AYWMRN, we fight about homelessness, discuss what it means to actively protect your relationship, muse about why every attachment style sucks, and get smushy about PDA and how much we like each other.

The AYWMRN Cast is havin' problems this week. We dig into some eugenics and catastrophizing, self-loathing, and the rights to life and death. Does anything matter? Spoiler alert: no. This week, the female half of the podcast gives you a taste of how her dad talks. She'll be less self-righteous next time, pinky swear.

Which side of Pop Tart history are you on? Spoiler alert: because I'm in charge of the descriptions, the correct opinion is that brown sugar cinnamon is better than wild berry. Email us if you wanna fight about it. The AYWMRN team went really hard this week! Today you get to listen to us take an hour to do an ABC worksheet, feel superior to our exes, and fight about private and intellectual property. We also talk out of our asses about labor value and reconfiguring the country's monetary system. 

Maybe one day the cast of AYWMRN will discuss morals and politics as promised, but today is not that day. Instead we wax philosophical about the idea of Adult Children, coming home to a warm bed, and the line between respecting someone's feelings and controlling them.

The trip down Daddy Issues Lane continues! Tune in for musings about whose responsibility it is to fix abusers, the act of asking for validation, and attachment mechanisms.

Welcome to our mental health corner! Objectives: meet your anonymous hosts, learn about all that's wrong with them, and listen to them ramble about empathy.