Podcasts about pda

For part 1 of Odyssey week here on PDA we discuss the geopolitical implications of Christopher Nolan's decision to film The Odyssey in Moroccan occupied West Sahara but first we talk about Ronald Reagan's hair. SOURCE: https://africasacountry.com/location/western-sahara PATREON + DISCORD PATREON.COM/PODDAMNAMERICA MERCH: poddamnamerica.bigcartel.com

Send us Fan MailWhich PDAs actually need treatment? Can maternal voice and scent shape language outcomes? Should we cool at 35 weeks? And did stepping away from probiotics come at a cost? This week's Journal Club takes on five papers that push back on standard practice. Ben reviews the SMART-PDA trial and a comparative study of PDA pharmacotherapy, Daphna covers the MIND trial on multisensory maternal interventions and a Pediatrix database study on NEC after the FDA probiotic warning, and Ben rounds out the main segment with a national look at hypothermia in 35-week infants with HIE. Ben and Eli wrap the week with Neo News on rising vitamin K refusal.Support the showAs always, feel free to send us questions, comments, or suggestions to our email: nicupodcast@gmail.com. You can also contact the show through Instagram or Twitter, @nicupodcast. Or contact Ben and Daphna directly via their Twitter profiles: @drnicu and @doctordaphnamd. The papers discussed in today's episode are listed and timestamped on the webpage linked below.Enjoy!

Brendan Mahan's concept of The Wall of Awful has taken on a life of its own. While originally geared toward ADHD, it's also extremely applicable to other neurodivergent folks including autism, AuDHD, OCD, and PDA.In short, there are a bunch of tough emotions built up over time between you and tasks that are difficult for you (whether or not anyone else believes they are easy). While you may instinctively figure out how to sidestep or smash through the issues, it's not really addressing the deeper problem that still affects you the next time.Brendan's book, The Wall of Awful, comes out Sep 1 2026, and you can learn an overview of the concepts at the YouTube videos listed under #3 belowConnect with Brendan / Mentioned in episode:The Wall of Awful book & resources, and if you're buying on Amazon here's my affiliate linkFriendship Skills for Neurodivergent Adults by Caroline Maguire, book, affiliate link2 short vids explaining the Wall of Awful & strategies for going through & over it by Jessica McCabe of How to ADHDAuDHD Flourishing resources:Transcript Doc (often a few weeks behind, but we do catch up!)Mattia's NewsletterLike Your Brain community space (Patreon/Discord) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We are kicking off a new series on autism, ADHD, OCD, and neurodivergence, and why this conversation matters so much right now. In this episode we introduce a three part approach we keep coming back to: nutrition, environment, and soul, and we talk about why going to war on behavior almost never works, because behavior is communication. We touch on PDA (pathological demand avoidance), low demand parenting, and why creating safety often does more healing than any chart, sticker, or therapy technique ever could. Subscribe for new episodes every week. Find us at rewildrenew.com. Click here to learn about our "A Powerful You" program and join the interest list. When you join the list you get access to a beautiful guided meditations and the first to know when doors open Click here to join our newsletter list. To learn more about Amie, Eileen and ReWild ReNew, visit www.ReWildReNew.com _______________ DISCLAIMER: This podcast and all related content published or distributed by or on behalf of ReWild ReNew, Amie Jones, and Eileen Crispell is for informational purposes only and may include information that is general in nature and that is not specific to you. Any information or opinions provided by guest experts or hosts featured within the website or on ReWild ReNew's Podcast are their own; not those of Amie Jones or Eileen Crispell or ReWild ReNew. Accordingly, Amie Jones, Eileen Crispell and ReWild ReNew cannot be responsible for any results or consequences or actions you may take based on such information or opinions. This podcast is presented for exploratory purposes only. Published content is not intended to be used for preventing, diagnosing, or treating any specific illnesses or conditions. If you have, or suspect you may have, a health-care, emotional, or spiritual emergency, please contact a qualified professional for support and treatment.

A judge has granted Craig Melvin and Al Roker a restraining order against the man accused of storming the TODAY show and confronting the hosts. Diddy's twin daughters are standing by their father, calling him an "amazing" dad despite his incarceration and ongoing legal troubles. Ariana Grande and Ricky Alvarez put their rekindled romance on full display with a PDA-filled stroll through New York City's Central Park. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Ariana Grande and Ricky Alvarez packed on the PDA again in NYC, fueling their rekindled romance. Benny Blanco is crossing the Atlantic by boat to celebrate Selena Gomez's birthday because he's terrified of flying. A mystery D4vd song briefly surfaced on Spotify before disappearing just hours later amid his ongoing murder case. Police say the alleged TODAY show intruder admitted he wanted to use a racial slur against a famous Black person. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

If you've lowered demands for your PDA child or teen but still aren't seeing much progress, this episode is for you. It explains one of the most common sticking points I hear from families: that due to the name - Pathological Demand Avoidance - parents focused on lowering demands, when what their child needs more is increased autonomy and equality.This episode is an excerpt from my free Understanding PDA Masterclass. In it I walk through the distinction between demands as a surface-level behavior and autonomy and equality as the root-level mechanism. To help make the difference clear, I describe how in a typical morning autonomy losses often accumulate before a child even gets out the door.Key Takeaways Demands Are the Surface. Autonomy Is the Root | 00:00:00 The name Pathological Demand Avoidance points toward the behavior: avoidance of demands. But if we think about PDA as a pervasive drive for autonomy, we get closer to the actual mechanism. Parents who have lowered demands and are not seeing progress are often still inadvertently signaling a loss of autonomy through expectation, energy, agenda, or position of authority, even when the demand itself has been removed. The surface level behavior is demand avoidance. The root level cause is neuroception of a loss of autonomy or equality. My Younger Son's School Refusal: The Autonomy Mechanism in Real Time | 00:01:33 For two weeks, my younger son could not get his body to go to school. Each evening he would tell me he genuinely wanted to go the next morning, naming specific things he looked forward to. When I asked whether he would like me to prompt him in the morning, he said no, because if you do, then I will not go. That is the PDA mechanism: in his thinking brain, with full autonomy and no external expectation, going to school felt possible. The moment an agenda or a prompt from me entered, his amygdala would register a loss of autonomy, activate the threat response, and make going impossible. A Morning Audit: Fifteen Activations To Start The Day | 00:06:02 I walk through a typical first hour of a day with a PDA child to illustrate how many autonomy and equality losses can accumulate before the family has even left the house. Being woken up by a parent or an alarm is an externally imposed loss of autonomy. Being expected to come downstairs, eat, eat in a particular place, be told what is and is not available for breakfast, clean up the plate, get dressed, put on shoes, pack a backpack, receive a gentle correction after pushing a sibling on the way to the car: each one registers in the amygdala as a threat event. In a loving, gentle household with no intentional pressure, there can be fifteen or more of these activations in forty-five minutes. That cumulative load is what makes PDA disabling, not any single demand. Equality Is as Important as Autonomy | 00:04:50 The equality piece is often underemphasized. It includes any energy of another person being above the PDA child in stature, authority, or position: not getting the most ice cream, not being first down the stairs, not getting the last word, having a parent try and teach them something in the moment of a behavior. Even gentle parenting's recommendation to take the child aside after a dysregulation and debrief produces this perception, because the parent is placing themselves above as the teacher and the explainer. The child is not in the right part of their brain to receive it, and the teaching itself is perceived as another activation.Relevant Resources Understanding PDA — The free masterclass from which this episode is excerpted, covering the six characteristics of PDA including the survival drive for autonomy and equality described here.Burnout — Free class with context for how cumulative autonomy losses build over time to the point of disabling access to basic needs.Paradigm Shift Program — My signature program where the shift from a demand lens to an autonomy and equality lens is practiced as an embodied skill over twelve weeks of live coaching.

Send us Fan MailIn this Journal Club, Ben and Daphna dig into two new papers on PDA management in our smallest patients. First, the SMART-PDA pilot RCT from Souvik Mitra and colleagues, which uses comprehensive hemodynamic screening to selectively treat high-volume shunts in infants born before 26 weeks, and whose striking Bayesian signal for reduced pulmonary hemorrhage and NEC stopped the trial early. Then a companion JAMA Network Open comparative effectiveness study across four pharmacotherapy regimens. Along the way, Ben shares hemodynamics pearls from his Montreal training: why left ventricular output, LA:Ao ratio, and transductal velocity matter more than PDA diameter alone.----Selective early medical treatment of the patent ductus arteriosus in extremely low gestational age infants: a pilot randomised controlled trial (SMART-PDA). Mitra S, Hebert A, Castaldo MP, Disher T, El-Naggar W, Dhillon S, Alhassen Z, Koo J, Katheria AC, Hyderi A, Kumaran K, Ting J, Surak A, Larocque J, Pepper D, Hornberger L, Makoni M, Weisz DE, Jain A, Bacchini F, Cameron-Nola AJJ, Hatfield T, Dorling J, McNamara PJ, Thabane L.Arch Dis Child Fetal Neonatal Ed. 2026 May 18:fetalneonatal-2026-330462. doi: 10.1136/archdischild-2026-330462. Online ahead of print.PMID: 42150872Pharmacologic Therapies for Patent Ductus Arteriosus in Extremely Preterm Infants. Mitra S, Jain A, Ting JY, Ben Fadel N, Drolet C, Abou Mehrem A, Soraisham AS, Jasani B, Louis D, Lapointe A, Dorling J, Khurshid F, Hyderi A, Kumaran K, Toye J, Harabor A, Weisz DE, Stavel M, Morin A, Bhattacharya S, Lalitha R, Afifi J, Augustine S, Castaldo MP, Hatfield T, Su YC, Shah PS; Canadian Neonatal Network Investigators.JAMA Netw Open. 2026 Jun 1;9(6):e2617477. doi: 10.1001/jamanetworkopen.2026.17477.PMID: 42262753 Free PMC article.Support the showAs always, feel free to send us questions, comments, or suggestions to our email: nicupodcast@gmail.com. You can also contact the show through Instagram or Twitter, @nicupodcast. Or contact Ben and Daphna directly via their Twitter profiles: @drnicu and @doctordaphnamd. The papers discussed in today's episode are listed and timestamped on the webpage linked below.Enjoy!

Photo by Michael Martine, South Yarmouth MA, July 2026 Published 13 July 2026 e561 with Michael, Andy and Michael – arial-aquatic robotic locomotion, Puffin wingspan, e-ink mini PDAs, maker marketplaces such as Tindie, Lectronz and SmallRun, custom vinyl, cooperative LLMs and a whole lot more! Michael, Andy and Michael get things started with a new robot that can fly and swim, and transition between the air and water on it's own.  This amazing feat was inspired by diving birds such as the puffin.  This story inspired the cohosts to consider the wingspan of the puffin, and while writing up the show notes, the Wingspan boarding game and the airborne velocity of the swallow. Switching to non-robotic tech, the team take a look at the PocketMage PDA, which then opens up a whole discussion on (dare we say vintage) other PDAs, and the maker culture of EMF Camp, where Andy is spending some time as discussed in e560.  Crowdsupply's Open Printer article primed the team for a number of favorite maker marketplaces which you can check out in the show notes below.  Examples like Tindie, Lectronz and SmallRun all get the benefit of the Games at Work bump.  And a google search turns up another SmallRun website that provides the service of creating custom vinyl for recordings, and inspires Andy on a potential gift. The team then looks at a couple of YouTube videos where a number of different LLMs are tasked to work collaboratively to play Pico Park.  You can see these below, and it is an intriguing way to consider how multiple autonomous agents may work together (or not) in other contexts.  In e173 in 2017, the cohosts discussed an example of two Google Homes talked to one another on Twitch. Rounding out the episode, there is an Inc article on what happened when the Starbucks app had a failure.  The behavior was very reminiscent of last week's discussion on Ian Bogost's new book, The Small Stuff.  The article concludes “Connivence creates its own fragility” – what an interesting turn of phrase.   Have you had an example of when convenience created fragility for you?  Have your bots

Ein Gespräch mit dem PDA-Sammler Christoph Schröder über seltene, schlechte und viel zu ambitionierte digitale Assistenten vor dem Smartphone.

Six months into her tenure at City Hall and Mayor Katie Wilson has a message for Seattle: things are going great, actually. On this episode of Seattle Nice, hosts Erica C Barnett, David Hyde and Sandeep Kaushik dig into Publicola's two-parter with the mayor: a "spicy" interview that covers everything from whether she's the next "sweeps" mayor to whether Chief Shon Barnes keeps his job. Plus, why the council keeps finding out about Wilson's legislation the same way the rest of us do: by reading PubliCola. And what she's doing to fix the tense relationship with the council. Also: a school lunch program got ambushed the same day the mayor bragged about it.World Cup hangover / promise. Seattle's role in the World Cup is over and Sandeep is back to driving his gas-guzzler to work at Pioneer Square, but the vibes (and the Occidental Park jumbotron) haven't fully left. Will Wilson pedestrianize more of downtown for good?The Pioneer Square playbook. Sandeep makes the case that the PDA-led shelter-and-services push that cleared the neighborhood for the World Cup actually worked, and that Wilson wants to replicate it citywide. One catch: there's no money in the budget for it yet.The "Sweeps" Mayor Dilemma: Erica presses Wilson on encampment removals. Wilson's answer boils down to political triage: stop all sweeps and you lose the "political will" to build more shelter. $175 million hole. We discuss the deficit and the looming push for new progressive revenue (capital gains? JumpStart again?), and why Wilson admits there's "no silver bullet."SPD budget in the crosshairs and Chief Barnes stays, for now. Every department's been told to model budget cuts, including police, even as SPD keeps hiring at a pace the city may not be able to afford (starting pay tops $126K after six months). But will they actually cut officers? In the middle of that squeeze, Wilson confirms she's retaining Chief Shon Barnes. The council relationship: still a mess, but improving? Wilson owns some of the dysfunction from the shelter-legislation fight earlier this year, admitting her office was "slow to staff" council relations. There are reportedly efforts now to rebuild those one-on-one relationships, but meetings aren't going great yet.Looking Back: How does Wilson's first six months compare to former Mayor Bruce Harrell?Read the two-part interview in PubliCola:Mayor Katie Wilson at Six Months In: "Incredibly Proud of What We're Accomplishing" (Part 1)Mayor Katie Wilson Says She's "Doing a Reset" on Housing Agenda, "Very Hopeful" About Police Chief (Part 2)If you appreciate the in-depth, behind-the-scenes coverage of Seattle politics, help us keep the lights on. We're a bare-bones operation trying to expand into video, and we can't do it without our listeners. https://www.patreon.com/seattlenice  Send us a text! Note that we can only respond directly to emails realseattlenice@gmail.comThanks to Uncle Ike's pot shop for sponsoring this week's episode! If you want to advertise please contact us at realseattlenice@gmail.comSupport the showYour support on Patreon helps pay for editing, production, live events and the unique, hard-hitting local journalism and commentary you hear weekly on Seattle Nice. 

When an autistic child or teen consistently pushes back against daily expectations, traditional parenting and teaching methods often default to high-pressure enforcement. This pattern routinely triggers escalating defensive behaviors, creating a continuous loop of friction that strains the entire family system. In this encore conversation, Sandra McConnell, an advocate known as the PDA Mama Bear, joins Emily Kircher-Morris to unpack the nuanced framework of pervasive demand avoidance and explore how it reshapes typical social navigation. They talk about ways to shift the focus away from top-down behavior tracking, and why common behaviorist tools like point charts or sudden restrictions fail to foster authentic growth for youth with this cognitive profile. TAKEAWAYS PDA represents a distinct neurodivergent profile rooted in a protective baseline of sensory anxiety and a heightened resistance to coercion. Traditional behavioral adjustments such as top-down discipline, sudden restrictions, and performance rewards lose their utility when applied to youth with deep demand avoidance patterns. Apparent behavioral compliance can hide severe internal masking and exhaustion, which often surfaces later as profound burnout and sudden academic avoidance. Manifestations of demand avoidance often vary between protective escape patterns and a desire to control the immediate household environment. Shifting the caregiver approach from a position of top-down authority to that of an instructional mentor lowers daily pressure and builds authentic family trust. Protecting a child's long-term social and emotional development requires moving away from absolute compliance demands to focus instead on reducing baseline nervous system stress. This week's special CE training for mental health professionals features Dr. Christopher Willard, and is titled, "The New 3 R's: Mindfulness-Based Resilience, Regulation, and Relationships." The training is live online Friday, July 10 from 2:00 to 3:30 pm Eastern, and is approved for 1.5 APA and NBCC continuing education hours. Everyone who registers can earn those credits by watching the event live, or can choose to watch it later. Register here. Sandra McConnell is a blogger, speaker, and trainer on Autistic Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA). She conducts webinars, workshops and conferences all across the country to train and inform people about PDA. She has two graduate certificates in Learning Differences & Neurodiversity specializing in Executive Functioning and Autism (Landmark College, 2021); a certification in PDA through the UK-based, OCN-accredited organization Neurodivergent Education Support and Training (NEST, 2020); a master's degree in Forensic Psychophysiology (Argosy University, 2006); and a bachelor's degree in Psychology and Criminology (UNM, 2000).  Sandra lives in Maryland, USA, with her husband, who's ADHD, her 13-year-old son, who's PDA, her 10-year-old son, who's ADHD, and her 6-year-old daughter, who's TBD. BACKGROUND READING Sandra's website The Neurodiversity Podcast is on Facebook, Instagram, BlueSky, and you're invited to join our Facebook Group. For more information go to www.NeurodiversityPodcast.com If you'd like members of your organization, school district, or company to know more about the subjects discussed on our podcast, Emily Kircher-Morris provides keynote addresses, workshops, and training sessions worldwide, in-person or virtually. You can choose from a list of established presentations, or work with Emily to develop a custom talk to fit your unique situation. To learn more, visit our website.

In Episode 95 of the I'M PEAKING Podcast, we're joined by bass music producer, Keith Palmieri (aka CYCLOPS), as we dive into one of the most debated topics in rave culture: how much PDA is too much at festivals?? We also discuss Defqon's weather cancellation, whether the new generation of ravers is changing PLUR culture, Apocalypse vs. Day Trip, reacting to some of the wildest festival clips on the internet, and even get an exclusive first listen to TWO unreleased Cyclops tracks

Diesmal zu Gast bei Evelyn: Eltern-Coach und Bestsellerautor Mark Leonard. Er ist Experte für PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance), ein noch wenig bekanntes Autismusprofil. Ganz alltägliche Anforderungen wie Aufstehen, Anziehen oder Zähneputzen können bei sogenannten PANDA-Kindern eine Panikreaktion im Gehirn auslösen – und Familien in den Ausnahmezustand versetzen. Ein extremer Drang nach Autonomie, Kontrolle und Gleichwürdigkeit bestimmt oft ihren gesamten Alltag. Mit Evelyn spricht Mark darüber, warum betroffene Kinder außerhalb der Familie häufig perfekt funktionieren und zuhause völlig zusammenbrechen, weshalb klassische Erziehungstipps die Situation oft verschlimmern und warum PDA nicht "wegtherapiert" werden kann – sondern es darum geht, das Leben passend zu gestalten und einen guten Umgang damit zu finden. Dabei spielen Co-Regulation und radikale Akzeptanz eine entscheidende Rolle. Außerdem gibt Mark viele konkrete Tipps für den Familienalltag: von Aufsteh- und Essensroutinen über Schule bis hin zu Medienzeit, Feierlichkeiten und Urlauben. Eine Folge voller Aha-Momente – nicht nur für PANDA-Familien, sondern für alle, die mehr über unsichtbare Behinderungen erfahren möchten! Mark bei Instagram? Hier entlang: https://www.instagram.com/mark.my.thoughts/ Du möchtest mehr über unsere Werbepartner erfahren? Hier findest du alle Infos & Rabatte: https://linktr.ee/AllemeineEltern Du möchtest Werbung in diesem Podcast schalten? Dann erfahre hier mehr über die Werbemöglichkeiten bei Seven.One Audio: https://www.seven.one/portfolio/sevenone-audio

On Jacobin Radio, the team behind the People's Game podcast continue their unique coverage of the 2026 World Cup, analyzing the men's football games on the field as well as the political, social and economic subtexts of the world's most popular sporting event. Guest hosts Alan Minsky and Meleiza Figueroa are joined by Laurent Dubois, a professor of history at the University of Virginia. Laurent has two bodies of work of equal importance to the People's Game: one on the history and culture of the Atlantic world, focusing on the Caribbean, Haiti, North America, and France, the second on fútbol, with a focus on the game in Africa, France, and the African diaspora. Laurent sings the praises of the French national team, who remain the favorites to win the tournament, celebrates a strong showing by Haiti, marvels at the brilliance of African diasporic players on countless teams, and explains why African soccer has developed so spectacularly in recent decades. Then we're joined by Hartzell Gray, a DSA- and PDA-endorsed candidate for Congress and Missouri's 4th District. Until recently, Hartzell was the voice of Kansas City's Major League Soccer team. He shares his thoughts about late capitalism's greatest spectacle coming to his hometown — including the harrowing ICE raids across the Kansas City metropolitan area that coincided with the tournament. Jacobin Radio with Suzi Weissman features conversations with leading thinkers and activists, with a focus on labor, the economy, and protest movements.

This episode is an excerpt from a lesson inside the Paradigm Shift Program. I'm sharing it because the PDA lens is the foundation that all other skills in my work rest on, and it is not something most parents are going to hear explained anywhere else.In this lesson I walk through exactly what the PDA lens is, why it has to be learned as a skill rather than just understood intellectually, and how to begin applying it. I also address the most common thought that comes up when I introduce the concept of deliberately signaling equality: am I training my child to be a bad adult? And why the answer, through the logic of this lens, is no.Key Takeaways The PDA Lens Is a Skill, Not the Only Valid Lens | 00:00:00 The PDA lens is something I think of as a pair of glasses you can put on and take off. It does not invalidate the ADHD lens, the sensory lens, the OCD lens, or the anxiety lens. It teaches a different logic, one that most parents are not going to hear explained anywhere else because every professional encounter tends to frame the root cause through a different paradigm. Every Loss of Autonomy Is a Drop in a Bucket, Invisible Until the Tipping Point | 00:01:31 The PDA lens asks us to look at every behavior, even if it looks manipulative or intentional, and think: my child has been perceiving threat around not having autonomy or being below someone or something, over and over, and every time that happens, a drop goes into the cumulative nervous system activation bucket. Most of those drops are invisible because high masking, the internalization of the threat response rather than the behavioral expression of it, is a feature of PDA. The accumulation builds over days, months and years. By the time most families arrive at my work, the child is either very close to their threshold of tolerance or so far past it that they are existing in a near-constant state of threat. Equalization, Basic Needs, and Why Behavioral Strategies Cannot Work | 00:06:41 When cumulative activation reaches the tipping point, the nervous system tries to exert control and move above in order to get back to felt safety. This is equalizing. And control tends to coalesce around the one or two things a parent genuinely cannot force: eating, toileting, sleep, hygiene. Because this is subconscious, cumulative, and not under their conscious awareness, behavioral strategies do not work. Signaling Equality Without Removing All Boundaries | 00:11:39 The equality signal does not mean there are no limits in the home and the child runs everything. It means thinking creatively about how to deliberately, mindfully, and as an accommodation give a child or teen the felt experience of being above, of going first, of being more skilled in this moment, in order to offset years of subconsciously perceiving that they are below. You Will Know More Than the Professionals You Work With | 00:10:09 This is not a criticism of professionals. It is a reality of where the PDA research and understanding currently sits. Most clinicians, teachers, and therapists have been trained through a behavioral paradigm that assumes behavior is rational, conscious, and changeable through incentives and disincentives. The PDA lens is a fundamentally different paradigm and it is not (yet!) taught in most training programs.Relevant Resources Understanding PDA — Free class where I teach the nervous system disability framework and the root cause logic that the PDA lens described in this episode is built on.Tracking Progress — Free class on how to observe the three outcome dimensions, nervous system activation, basic needs, and engagement, referenced in this episode as the data to watch rather than the behaviors to fix.Paradigm Shift Program — My signature three-month program where the PDA lens introduced in this excerpt is practiced as an embodied skill across twelve weeks of live coaching, spot coaching, and community support.

Veckans recensioner: Skivat bröd, analog detox, Michael Hewitt, Paul Sundvik, Lepty Markgrodlår, nattlig verksamhet, Nakna pistolen 33 1/3, Bobbe Lager del 2, boka av, tzatziki-spackel, Recensörerna-GIF:ar, simma bland korvar och ”diagnosen” PDA.

If you feel stuck in the same daily battles with your child, this episode breaks down the real reason power struggles keep happening—it's not defiance, it's dysregulation loops. Dr. Roseann Capanna-Hodge, expert in Regulation First Parenting™, shows how to calm the brain first.Have you ever felt like you're having the same fight with your child over and over again—no matter what you try? You're not imagining it, and you're definitely not alone.When power struggles keep repeating, it's not just about behavior—it's about a nervous system loop that keeps both parent and child stuck.In this episode discussing the real reason power struggles keep happening, let us break down why escalation happens so fast—and what actually interrupts it so real change can begin.Why does my child keep arguing with me over the same things?If it feels like déjà vu every time you ask your child to do something, there's a reason for that. These repeated arguments aren't random—they're patterned responses between two activated nervous systems.Small triggers escalate quickly (a request → hesitation → pushback → frustration)Both parent and child become more reactive as intensity buildsThe brain shifts from listening mode to survival modeReal-life example: You ask your child to turn off their device. They ignore you. You repeat it. Their resistance grows. Your tone sharpens. Suddenly, you're both arguing—and no one remembers how it started.Behavior is communication—but dysregulation drives the loop.Is my child being defiant or dysregulated?This is one of the most common questions parents ask—and the answer changes everything.What looks like defiance is often a dysregulated nervous system that cannot process the request in the moment.Dysregulated kids cannot access their “thinking brain” during escalationPushback, yelling, or shutting down are stress responses, not disrespectCorrection without regulation often increases resistanceYou're not seeing bad behavior—you're seeing a brain that can't regulate yet.When your child is dysregulated, it's easy to feel helpless.The Regulation Rescue Kit gives you the scripts and strategies you need to stay grounded and in control.Become a Dysregulation Insider VIP at www.drroseann.com/newsletter and get your free kit today.Why do power struggles escalate so fast between me and my child?Power struggles don't just repeat—they intensify because each interaction strengthens the pattern.The nervous system learns the cycle: pressure → reaction → escalationParents often increase urgency, tone, or consequencesKids mirror that energy through resistance or shutdownOver time, both systems become quicker to react.This is what I call a reactivity loop—and it's why things feel harder, not easier, over time.

Will you celebrate today with some PDA with your significant other?

The Valley continues with Janet starting drama by informing Brit, Jasmine, and LaLa what Kristen and Nia said. Michelle and Jesse are getting along but she asks Jesse to not have any PDA with Lacey. Zack gets hit in the head sending him to the hospital before his club birthday bash. Danny becomes so annoyed at the club feeling like he can't do anything. In The City we have Danielle ruining the evening because of her outfit choice. Kyle and Amanda confess they aren't “In Love” Next Gen thoughts, 4th of July, Summerhouse gearing up to film! Make sure to follow me: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bravoteawithastayathomemom?igsh=MXgyNjI4NnN6dWpldg%3D%3D&utm_source=qr Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/1PsRVdSFI9WAq2qunoO2e5?si=VLSwm1glRR-U7q8SMW_URQApple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bravo-tea-with-a-stay-at-home-mom/id1715599754YouTube: https://youtube.com/@Bravoteawithastayathomemom?si=UmfXUu-xgTLoAIEiTik Tok: https://www.tiktok.com/@bravoteastayathomemom?_t=8jjG1JbhMSs&_r=1

The Valley continues to not be ALLLLL RIGHTTTTTTT, even on vacation. Zack's birthday takes a wild turn as he ends up in the hospital, Janet has a breakdown, Daniel continues to be Daniel, Brittany is in tears, Michelle confronts Jesse about his PDA, and Tom Schwartz dresses up as an emo mime. Are you watching the season as a hate watch or are you enjoying it? Come judge with us!You can find us:Linktree: Two Judgey GirlsPodcast: ACast, iTunes, Spotify, wherever you listen!Instagram & Threads: @twojudgeygirlsTikTok: @twojudgeygirls // @marytwojudgeygirls // @courtneytjgYouTube: @twojudgeygirlsFacebook: www.facebook.com/twojudgeygirlsMerch: www.etsy.com/shop/twojudgeygirlsPatreon: www.patreon.com/twojudgeygirls LTK: @marytwojudgeygirls // @courtneytjg Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week on Jam Session, Juliet and Amanda begin with updates on the most highly anticipated wedding of the summer: Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce. With Madison Square Garden rumored to be their official wedding venue, all eyes are on the weekend of July 4th as speculation continues (00:00). Next, the two dive into celebrity relationship updates, including Joe Alwyn and Sarah Pidgeon being spotted showing PDA in Hampstead Heath just one day after Harry Styles and Zoë Kravitz were seen making out in the same park (21:08). Then, they get into some Beckham family updates (26:42), and finally, Amanda shares some royal news (44:29).Hosts: Amanda Dobbins and Juliet LitmanProducers: Jade Whaley Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

When I first heard Jan Winhall speak about the intersection of the nervous system and addiction, I immediately thought of the PDA teens and adults in our community who are reaching for substances or engaging in self-harm.In this episode she explains how addiction and self-harm function as nervous system state regulation strategies, what conventional models get wrong, and what it actually looks like to support someone through this from a place of safety rather than shame.Winhall brings a wealth of knowledge to the conversation as a trauma and addiction psychotherapist, developer of the Felt Sense Polyvagal Model, and author of two books on treating trauma and addiction through embodied awareness. I hope her insights support you.Key TakeawaysAddiction as a Nervous System State Regulation Strategy | 00:06:52 The conventional model frames addiction as either a moral failure or a brain disease. Jan offers a third understanding grounded in polyvagal theory and neuroplasticity: addictive behaviors are strategies the body uses to shift nervous system states when there is not enough perceived safety. When someone is in a chronic sympathetic state, the wine bottle or the substance moves them into dorsal, into numbing and relief. When someone is in a chronic dorsal state, high-risk or stimulating behaviors move them back up into sympathetic mobilization. The body cycles between these states because it cannot stay in either extreme indefinitely. The behaviors become addictive because they work, at least in the moment, and because there is no other available path to felt safety.What Cutting and Self-Harm Do in the Nervous System | 00:10:05 Self-harm functions within the same trauma feedback loop. Cutting can release a sympathetic surge when the blood appears, which shifts a person out of dorsal numbness. It can also trigger the release of endogenous opioids that bring the body back down into dorsal relief. The person is not being manipulative or seeking attention. They are doing what their nervous system has learned will shift an unbearable state into something survivable. Jan describes working with women in her first job who were all self-harming, all addicted, and all diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. She did not accept that framing then and still does not. What she saw was a population of trauma survivors whose bodies were doing exactly what bodies are designed to do.Not Being Seen Is Traumatic | 00:37:30 Jan describes the privileged neurodivergent teenagers she saw in her clinical work who came to her saying I have everything, why am I like this? What they were experiencing, she explains, is the trauma of not being seen and fully delighted in for exactly who they are.What Healing Actually Looks Like With a Teen | 00:43:21 Jan describes her clinical work with teens as beginning with co-regulation and the building of a relationship where the teenager feels genuinely safe. That means meeting them where they are, including the sessions where they spend the entire hour talking about how much they did not want to come. It means creating an environment where they can say anything as long as they are respectful of the basic boundaries. It means finding something to fall in love with in the person sitting across from you, because that delight is the container in which a teen can begin to explore shame, identity, and the behaviors they have been hiding from everyone else.Neuroception, Interoception, and the Paradigm Shift | 00:22:55 Interoception is the body's capacity to sense what is happening from the inside: the tightness in the chest, the quickening of breath, the feeling of something that has not yet found words. Jan's Felt Sense Polyvagal Model combines polyvagal theory with a body-based practice to help people slow down enough to listen to what is already happening in the body rather than suppressing or bypassing it.Relevant Resources Felt Sense Polyvagal Model Institute — Jan Winhall's institute where she teaches the Felt Sense Polyvagal Model internationally, including graphic models of the nervous system that can be downloaded and used with children and families.Somatic Mondays With Jan Winhall — Monthly community gathering focused on nervous system regulation for people navigating addiction and recovery, hosted by Jan Winhall and Recovery Reimagined.Dr. Sean Inderbitzen on LinkedIn — Autistic therapist, parent, and author of two books on polyvagal theory and autism, referenced by Jan Winhall in this episode as a recommended resource for neurodivergent families.Understanding PDA — Free class where I teach the nervous system disability framework and the polyvagal concepts that underlie the addiction and self-harm patterns Jan describes in this episode.Burnout — Free class with context for the dorsal shutdown and burnout states that Jan's work helps illuminate, particularly for families whose teens are reaching for substances or engaging in self-harm.Paradigm Shift Program — My signature program where the nervous system framework, felt safety, and the accommodation toolkit are taught live, creating the kind of co-regulated container Jan describes as foundational to all healing.

On this month's 21andsensory Podcast episode I have the lovely Eliza Fricker on as my special guest. Eliza is an author & illustrator, and an advocate & consultant for PDA, autism and learning. She is the Sunday Times bestselling author of The Family Experience of PDA and Can't Not Won't.Eliza has published several books, including A Different Kind of Parenting and the acclaimed autobiographical Thumbsucker. We chatted about Eliza's latest book ‘Could Try Harder' which explores topics such as masking, girlhood, the hidden cost of being misunderstood and about what happens when a person is taught all their life to perform instead of belong.Eliza's Links:Website: Missing the MarkSubstack Eliza Fricker's SubstackInstagram: @elizafricker_missingthemarkEliza's booksMy 21andsensory links:Illustration Portfolio | Instagram | Podcast | YouTube | Blog | TikTok | X | ⁠Bluesky | Patreon

What happens when the very strategies behaviour analysts are taught to rely on become part of the problem? In this episode of Behaviour Speak, Ben Reiman welcomes BCBA Michelle Karren for a thoughtful discussion about PDA (commonly known as Pathological Demand Avoidance), autonomy-focused learners, and the challenges families face when traditional intervention approaches aren't working. Drawing on both professional expertise and lived experience as a parent of autistic children, Michelle shares how she became increasingly focused on supporting learners whose intense drive for autonomy, anxiety, and demand sensitivity require a fundamentally different approach. Together, Ben and Michelle explore: • What PDA is and how it differs from typical demand avoidance • The shift from "Pathological Demand Avoidance" toward more respectful language such as "Persistent Drive for Autonomy" and "autonomy-focused learners" • Why traditional behaviour support strategies can unintentionally increase stress and resistance • The role anxiety and nervous system regulation play in PDA profiles • Burnout experienced by learners, caregivers, and support teams • School challenges, masking, and the high rates of school-related stress among PDA learners • The importance of rapport, trust, assent, and shared control • Why role play and learner-led activities can be powerful tools for skill development • Supporting emotional regulation instead of focusing solely on compliance • Caregiver collaboration and helping families identify meaningful quality-of-life goals • The value of interdisciplinary collaboration and learning from professionals outside behaviour analysis • How behaviour analysts can remain evidence-informed while adapting their practice to meet individual learner needs Michelle challenges practitioners to remember that behaviour analysis is not defined by rigid procedures, but by careful observation, responsiveness, and a commitment to understanding what learners are communicating through their behaviour. Whether you're new to PDA or looking to deepen your understanding of autonomy-focused approaches, this episode offers practical insights and important reflections for anyone supporting neurodivergent learners. Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/Ble7W3G104w Continuing Education Credits (https://www.cbiconsultants.com/shop) BACB: 1.5 Learning IBAO:  1.5 ABA Topics QABA: 1.5 General CBA/CPD: 1.5 Learning   Follow us! Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/behaviourspeak/ LinkedIn:  https://www.linkedin.com/in/behaviourspeak/ TikTok:  https://www.tiktok.com/@behaviorspeak   Contact Michelle Karren LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/michelle-karren-m-sc-bcba-433716273/ Related Behaviour Speak Episodes Episode 262, Motivational Interviewing for Behaviour Analysts with Dr. Monica Gilbert https://www.behaviourspeak.com/e/episode-261-motivational-interviewing-for-behaviour-analysts-with-dr-monica-gilbert/ Episode 179, Reforming ABA: A Framework for Behavior Analysts with Oswin Latimer and Hilary McClinton. https://www.behaviourspeak.com/e/episode-179-reforming-aba-a-framework-for-behavior-analysts/ Episode 34, Neurodiversity, ADHD, and ODD with Amelia Bowler https://www.behaviourspeak.com/e/episode-34-neurodiversity-adhd-and-odd-with-amelia-bowler-mads-bcba/  

Today I'm talking with Amanda Diekman, author of the book, Low-demand Parenting: Dropping Demands, Restoring Calm, and Finding Connection With Your Uniquely Wired Child Because low-demand parenting can be such an effective approach to supporting differently wired kids, especially kids who fall under the PDA profile of autism, I invited Amanda to join the show for a conversation about what this parenting approach looks like. An autistic adult, parent coach, and author in the neurodiversity space, Amanda has become a leading voice in the movement for low demand parenting practice. She runs a successful coaching practice for parents of neurodivergent children including online courses and a vibrant membership community. During this episode, we talk about what low demand parenting is, why it's different than what might be referred to as “permissive” parenting, why it's so effective for kids with PDA, and how she helps parents loosen up the mindset around non-negotiables.  Amanda Diekman is an autistic adult, parent coach, and author in the neurodiversity space. Amanda has become a leading voice in the movement for low demand parenting practices, with her book Low Demand Parenting to be published July 2023. Amanda runs a successful coaching practice for parents of neurodivergent children including online courses and a vibrant membership community.  Things you'll learn from this episode What led Amanda to implement low-demand parenting in her family What low demand parenting is, and why it's often misconstrued as permissive The relationship between PDA and low-demand parenting Examples of big demands and tiny demands, and how shifting the focus can reduce stress for kids How Amanda helps parents in loosening their mindset about what they define as non-negotiables Ideas for practicing low-demand parenting in regard to our kids' relationship with technology and screens How Amanda and her co-parenting partner came to work together using low-demand parenting Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this finale of the 70s playtest - Tiffany, Jesus and Sterling face off against an elder vampire. [Content Warning: Sleep Deprivation, PDA, Endings] Want more Spout Lore in your Life? Check out our spinoff show

If the idea of ARFID treatment feels just as overwhelming as ARFID itself, you're not alone. Many people avoid seeking help because they worry treatment will involve pressure, forced food exposures, or having their sensory experiences dismissed. In this episode of Dr. Marianne-Land, Dr. Marianne Miller explains what neurodivergent-affirming ARFID treatmentactually looks like. She discusses why understanding the function of food avoidance matters, how autism, ADHD, trauma, sensory processing differences, and executive functioning can shape eating challenges, and why collaboration and autonomy are essential parts of effective treatment. Whether you're an adult with ARFID, the parent of a child with ARFID, or a healthcare professional looking to better understand Avoidant Restrictive Food Intake Disorder, this episode offers a compassionate, evidence-informed look at what meaningful treatment can be. What You'll Learn In this episode, you'll learn why ARFID treatment should begin with understanding rather than immediately trying to change eating behaviors. Dr. Marianne explains how neurodivergent-affirming care differs from compliance-based approaches and why treatment should account for sensory processing, nervous system regulation, executive functioning, and trauma history. She also discusses what exposure work can look like when it's collaborative, respectful, and tailored to the individual instead of relying on pressure or coercion. Finally, she explains why successful ARFID recovery is not about eating every food, but about creating a safer, more flexible, and less distressing relationship with eating. Who This Episode Is For This episode is for adults living with ARFID, parents and caregivers of children or teens with ARFID, autistic and ADHD individuals with restrictive eating, healthcare professionals seeking a neurodivergent-affirming understanding of ARFID, and anyone wondering what to expect from ARFID treatment. Why a Neurodivergent-Affirming Approach Matters ARFID doesn't look the same for everyone. Some people experience intense sensory sensitivities, while others struggle because of fear of choking, vomiting, gastrointestinal discomfort, or a longstanding lack of interest in food. Many people experience more than one of these patterns at the same time. Effective treatment begins by understanding why eating feels difficult rather than assuming all food avoidance has the same cause. A neurodivergent-affirming, sensory-attuned, trauma-informed approach recognizes that meaningful progress comes from working with the nervous system instead of against it. Learn More About ARFID If you'd like a deeper understanding of ARFID, autism, ADHD, sensory processing differences, trauma, and evidence-informed treatment approaches, check out Dr. Marianne's self-paced ARFID and Selective Eating Course. The course is designed for adults, parents, caregivers, and professionals who want practical, neurodivergent-affirming strategies that move beyond compliance-based treatment. Related Episodes When Safe Foods Stop Working: ARFID Plateaus, Burnout, & What Helps on Apple & Spotify. ARFID Explained: What It Feels Like, Why It's Misunderstood, & What Helps on Apple & Spotify. Why Sensory-Attuned Care Matters More Than Exposure in ARFID Treatment on Apple & Spotify. ARFID, PDA, and Autonomy: Why Pressure Makes Eating Harder on Apple & Spotify. Complexities of Treating ARFID: How a Neurodivergent-Affirming, Sensory-Attuned Approach Works on Apple & Spotify. Work With Dr. Marianne If you or your child are struggling with ARFID, Dr. Marianne Miller provides ARFID therapy for clients in California, Texas, and Washington, DC, along with coaching services worldwide. Learn more about therapy, coaching, courses, and additional resources at www.drmariannemiller.com. Connect With Dr. Marianne Website: www.drmariannemiller.com ARFID & Selective Eating Course: www.drmariannemiller.com/arfid Instagram: @drmariannemiller

In this episode I share the definition of PDA I use: PDA is a survival drive for autonomy and equality that consistently overrides other survival instincts, including eating, sleeping, toileting, hygiene, and safety. I explain how this is different from older definitions that consider PDA to be anxiety driven, and why that distinction matters clinically and practically. I also I introduce the concept of equalizing - the behavioral expression of the disability that extends well beyond demand avoidance into physical, verbal, and relational patterns that can look like manipulation, control, or defiance but are actually a nervous system response.Key Takeaways Why the Definition of PDA Matters: Survival Drive vs. Anxiety | 00:02:05 The original framing describes PDA as an anxiety-driven need for control. Anxiety is a future-oriented cognitive experience, and that framing points clinicians and parents toward exposure therapy, medication for anxiety, and pushing through avoidance. My definition is different. PDA is a survival drive for autonomy and equality that operates on a subconscious level, in the nervous system, before conscious thought. A child can love their grandparent, be emotionally attached to their therapist, and genuinely want to go to football practice, and still be accumulating nervous system activation from losses of autonomy throughout all of those experiences. The drive does not require cognitive anxiety to be present. That distinction changes what we do about it entirely. The Survival Drive That Overrides Everything Else | 00:07:35 What makes PDA neurologically distinct, in my conceptualization, is that the survival drive for autonomy and equality can override other basic survival instincts. I share an example from my own life: telling Cooper to stay away from the fire, gently at first, then with more urgency, and watching him move toward it instead of away, then try to jump in. I have also worked with families where a child accelerated into a body of water - without the ability to swim - after being told to stay back. These are extreme examples I use to illustrate the mechanism, not to suggest this is every family's experience, but they show that the PDA nervous system can prioritize autonomy above the instinct to stay safe, which is what can eventually produce the feeding tubes, the selective mutism, and the basic needs collapses that many families in this community have experienced. What Equalizing Is and Why It Looks Like Manipulation | 00:12:31 Equalizing is a nervous system response to get back to a place of perceived equality - or above another - after a loss of autonomy has been registered. It can be physical: disorganizing something that was orderly, knocking things off tables, touching things impulsively, hovering near a sibling, controlling where a parent can sit or look. It can be verbal: correcting words, redirecting blame, pretending not to hear, changing the topic impulsively, lying about things that seem random. It can be directed at a safe person, at a sibling, at objects in the environment, or even at self. The Spices Example: PDA Versus Other Neurotypes | 00:17:11 I use a simple scenario - organizing kitchen spices - to distinguish PDA equalizing from behavior in other neurotypes, inclduing non-PDA autism, OCD, and anxiety. Equalizing Can Be Subtle Until It Escalates | 00:15:36 As cumulative activation builds and the environment continues to signal losses of autonomy without accommodation, these equalizing expressions can escalate toward the large nervous system responses and basic needs struggles I describe in this episode. The goal of everything I teach is to bring down that cumulative activation so families avoid these challenges, or get through them as quickly and smoothly as possible. Relevant Resources Understanding PDA — Free class where I teach the nervous system disability framework, the neuroception mechanism, and the cumulative activation logic introduced in this episode.Burnout — Free class with context for how the survival drive overriding basic needs leads to the burnout state many families are already in when they find this work.Paradigm Shift Program — My signature program where the full framework for understanding PDA, equalizing, and responding to both is taught across twelve weeks of live coaching.

Kristy Forbes joins me to talk about what autistic burnout is and how it presents, why “deep rest” is critical for someone experiencing autistic burnout, and how autistic burnout is differentiated from mood disorders or depression. We also talk frankly about the challenges of seeing burnout in autistic / PDA children through a neuronormative lens, and how that may lead to therapies and strategies that may be the opposite of what a child in autistic burnout actually needs. About Kristy Forbes Kristy Forbes is an Australian-based autism & neurodiversity support specialist with experience working with clients both nationally and internationally. This includes neurodivergent people and their families; and professionals who wish to support them, such as educators, psychologists, pediatricians, allied health professionals, support workers and integration aides. Her work is informed by her extensive professional experience as an educator (Early Childhood, Primary and Secondary teaching), as an integration aide to children with social, emotional and behavioral differences, and as a childhood behavioral and family support specialist. Kristy has degrees in Political Science, Education, Literature, Film and Art. Her most valuable insights, however, come from lived experience. Kristy is formally identified autistic, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) as well as being a parent to four neurodivergent children, all with varying neurodivergent experience and expression including being non speaking, apraxia, dyspraxia, tourettes and PDA. She has the unique experience and insight of many perspectives: the teacher, the support specialist, the parent, the partner and the neurodivergent person (including the child she once was!). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hey guys, Nico and Anarchy-Z here! On today's episode of Beersos, Nico tells the story of the time he walked in on his dad making love. We both share how we've never been to a wedding, and Nico is set to MC the first wedding he has ever attended. We talk about our comfort levels with PDA, and Nico recounts the time he witnessed Derek in a heated make-out session.Support the show

Have you ever looked at a plate of food, known you needed to eat, and still felt like your brain and body simply couldn't do it? Many people assume this experience reflects a lack of willpower or motivation. In reality, sensory overload, trauma, ARFID, and food restriction can all make eating feel genuinely inaccessible. When your nervous system stays in survival mode, even choosing, preparing, and tolerating food can become overwhelming. In this episode, I explain why eating can feel impossible, how sensory processing and trauma influence appetite and food intake, and why restriction often creates a cycle that makes eating even harder. I also share the fictional story of Jasper to illustrate how nervous system overload, chronic stress, and inadequate nutrition can quietly reinforce one another. If you've ever wondered why food feels so much harder for you than it seems to be for everyone else, this conversation offers a compassionate, neurodivergent-affirming perspective. WHAT YOU'LL LEARN You'll learn why eating requires much more than hunger and willpower, and how sensory processing, executive functioning, and nervous system regulation all influence your ability to nourish yourself. I explain how trauma can shape eating patterns long after stressful experiences have ended and why many people develop food avoidance without consciously trying to restrict. I also discuss the overlap between ARFID, restrictive eating disorders, autism, ADHD, sensory sensitivities, and chronic stress. Finally, I share practical ways to approach eating with curiosity instead of shame so you can better understand what your nervous system may be communicating. WHO THIS EPISODE IS FOR This episode is for adults and teens with ARFID, anorexia, atypical anorexia, or other restrictive eating disorders. It's also for neurodivergent people with autism, ADHD, or sensory processing differences who find eating exhausting or overwhelming. Parents, caregivers, therapists, dietitians, physicians, and other providers will also gain a deeper understanding of why food avoidance often reflects nervous system overload rather than defiance or a lack of motivation. CONTENT CAUTION This episode includes discussion of ARFID, anorexia, restrictive eating disorders, food restriction, trauma, sensory overload, and food avoidance. TAKEAWAYS Eating difficulties don't always begin with body image concerns or intentional dieting. Sometimes a nervous system carrying chronic stress, trauma, or sensory overload simply doesn't have enough capacity to manage the complex task of eating. Food restriction can also become both a consequence of these struggles and a factor that keeps them going. As nutrition decreases, flexibility often narrows, sensory sensitivity may increase, and eating can become even more difficult. Understanding that cycle allows us to replace self-blame with curiosity and build recovery from a place of compassion rather than criticism. RELATED EPISODES What Is Mechanical Eating? Pros, Cons, & How It Can Work When Eating Feels Hard (ARFID, Binge Eating, Restriction) on Apple & Spotify. ARFID, PDA, and Autonomy: Why Pressure Makes Eating Harder on Apple & Spotify. Complexities of Treating ARFID: How a Neurodivergent-Affirming, Sensory-Attuned Approach Works on Apple & Spotify. The Connection Between Unresolved Trauma & Long-Lasting Eating Disorders (Content Caution) on Apple & Spotify. RESOURCES If you or someone you love struggles with ARFID or selective eating, check out my self-paced ARFID & Selective Eating Course. I created it for adults, parents, caregivers, and providers who want a neurodivergent-affirming, sensory-attuned, trauma-informed approach to treatment and recovery. To learn more about working with me for eating disorder therapy in San Diego, California or virtually throughout California and Washington, D.C., or coaching worldwide, visit my website at drmariannemiller.com. CONNECT WITH DR. MARIANNE MILLER If this episode helped you better understand your relationship with food, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who may need to hear this conversation. You can also connect with me on Instagram @drmariannemiller for more education on ARFID, binge eating disorder, anorexia, bulimia, neurodivergence, trauma, sensory processing, and eating disorder recovery.

We're back with another On the Journey episode! Pam, Anna, and Erika had a powerful conversation with Living Joyfully Network member and unschooling dad Sam. Sam shared deeply about his journey with his daughter through autistic burnout. We talked about Sam’s experiences in both PDA and unschooling parent communities, the depth of the inner work that this journey involves, and some of the major paradigm shifts that Sam has made along the way. It was a really meaningful conversation and we hope it resonates with you! Watch the video of our conversation on YouTube. THINGS WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE We invite you to join us in the Living Joyfully Network, a warm and welcoming online community of like-hearted parents. It's a non-judgmental space where you can steep in these unconventional ideas around parenting, relationships, and learning, and explore what they might look like day-to-day in your uniquely wonderful family. We offer a free month trial so you can see if it's a good fit for you. Click here to join us. Sign up to our mailing list on Substack to receive our email newsletters as well as new articles about learning, parenting, and so much more! Check out our website, livingjoyfully.ca for more information about exploring unschooling and navigating relationships. EPISODE TRANSCRIPT ANNA: Hello, everyone. I’m Anna Brown from Living Joyfully and today I’m joined by my co-hosts Erika Ellis and Pam Laricchia, as well as our special guest today, Sam. Hello to you all. I really appreciate Sam joining us today. He’s a member of the Living Joyfully Network and it’s been really nice getting to know his story and watch how things have unfolded. He brings that thoughtful, intentional energy that I love about the Network. That energy helps fuel my own personal growth and create a beautiful, supportive environment where we can dig deeper and question the prevailing narratives. So, Sam, to get us started, can you tell us a little bit about you and your family and what everybody’s interested in right now? SAM: Sure, yeah. Well, I live in Minneapolis with my wife Kate and my daughter. I recently retired from work early. I did the early retirement thing. I had been working part time for the year previous to that. And so, I guess I can start a little bit with what my daughter’s into. I mentioned to her that this was going to be one of the questions and she said interior design and interior decorating and games. And then I would add a few things to that, too. Right now, she’s super into making slime, large amounts of slime in many different permutations. There’s lots of experimentation happening with different ingredients and add-ins and colors and that kind of thing. So, that’s kind of fun and messy. She has a wide doll collection and she’s been really into making her own rooms. She calls them mini rooms and they’re essentially like dollhouse rooms, like a kitchen or a bedroom. She makes one room at a time and adds them on to each other and buys these little, tiny little Mini Brand versions of real life products that she stocks in the doll refrigerator really intricately. And I guess that ties into her interior design interest, as well. She’s super creative. She really likes to do drawing. She makes videos and she actually, I’m kind of amazed at some of the videos that she makes because she’s, I don’t even think I said she’s nine. And so she uses her iPad to make videos and she has her own YouTube channel. She has two YouTube channels, which are not updated too frequently. It’s something she’ll get really into and then completely abandon and then six months later be really into it again. And so, that’s fun. And then she likes building forts. She likes playing with our dog Lucy, and various other things. And she watches videos. She loves YouTube and learning. She’s really into watching videos about Minecraft and Toca Boca World, which is the other game that she’s really into at the moment. She watches videos about all kinds of things like science and history. It's interesting. She’ll frequently tell me very random facts that she’s learned by watching videos and I, being skeptical, when I look at the videos she’s watching then I’ll Google it and be like is that really true? And it’s interesting because it almost always is accurate and so that’s been an interesting learning for me because I’m the kind of somebody who’s avoided YouTube and never wanted to have anything to do with it for many years. And now I watch quite a bit of it just to keep up with what she’s doing. So that’s kind of fun. And my wife Kate, she works in public policy. She’s an environmental climate scientist, and she works on making and contributing to the creation of policy to help us in the state of Minnesota adapt to climate change. And she is super engaged and super smart. And she also likes to compete in triathlons a couple of times a year. She and I are very different in the sense that she needs to have some kind of external motivator to do things and so she really thrives on deadlines and procrastination and that sort of thing and I’m completely the opposite of that. And then we just hang out a lot. We do a lot of hanging out at home, reading, and that kind of thing. And then, for me, I always have a hard time talking about myself, but I read a lot. I’m currently really interested in reading 19th century British novels, and I’m not sure why, I’ve just been really obsessed with it over the past year or so. So, I’m always reading a couple of books. I’ve really been into reading poetry from different periods, and I’ve been writing for most of my life. My first career was as a professional writer, which kind of drained the fun of writing out of me for a good long time. But I’ve been writing, some creative writing and some poetry which I haven’t done in a very, very long time so that’s been really fun. And then, my daughter and I, we just hang out pretty much every day. And we just kind of roll with it and see what happens. We don’t really have a lot of plans. We never really know what’s going to happen. But that’s how we approach it, one day at a time. PAM: I think that’s so fun. I loved the little YouTube story that was tied in there as well. I love the interest piece for you wanting to see what she’s enjoying about this because it’s a way to connect with her, no matter the interest. And I loved that you could share the various things that she’s watching rather than saying, she loves YouTube and cutting it off there. It makes such a difference like you were saying, even just in that little synopsis, the variety of things that she’s engaging with, right? SAM: Yeah, well that was a big change for me because at the beginning of our unschooling journey when we started allowing unlimited screen time, which was a huge, huge hurdle for us to get over, for me to get over. I was definitely in the mindset of, oh my god, she’s just watching YouTube all day and not caring what it was. It was just YouTube bad, whatever, internet stuff. And now, she doesn’t like me to watch with her but she’s happy to have me, like not review but just kind of check out what she has watched and then we talk about some of the videos and I tell her what I liked and she tells me what she was into and we talk about which things were silly or which things were interesting. So, that has been a huge growth for me to just spend more time to really understand what these things are that she’s interested in, in a level of detail that I can actually see it and get it and relate to it in some way, rather than dismissing it, which is what I would have done previously. ERIKA: I loved all of your shares about all of your interests. I always think when people share about family member interests, it’s like, that’s only three people in the whole world and you’re already covering so many different areas and there are so many ways and things are kind of interacting and you’re learning from each other and you’re all so different. And I just love that and I loved the slime phase. We had that big time with my youngest too and it’s pretty messy, but it’s a lot of fun. ANNA: I know the slime thing was actually after our time. Did you have slime, Pam? We didn’t have slime. It wasn’t a thing. I have friends from the Network that have younger kids that I get to visit and it’s a whole thing, right? It’s just unbelievably amazing and messy, but it’s incredible. I love that. And just that again, the diversity of interest with the three of you is just, wow, this is how rich life is when we’re just exploring these things that are interesting to us. PAM: I love that. And so, Sam, you kind of alluded to this, so I’d like to dive in a bit more, but I would love to hear a bit more about how you actually discovered unschooling and what your family’s transition to unschooling looked like. SAM: This will be good to talk about because this was definitely a big journey for us and not something we ever would have imagined, conceived of, anticipated in any way. And so I guess we were just, I mean, for me, I hadn’t really put that much thought into it. Maybe this sounds terrible, but I didn’t really think that much about what it would be like to be a parent. And I had no plans, I had no ideas of how it should be, or the right way to do it or anything like that. I just kind of, I don’t want to speak for Kate, but I just made assumptions that like, okay, you have a kid, kid goes to daycare, until they’re old enough to go to kindergarten, and then they go to kindergarten. And so, we were following that path. And I think we’re lucky that we found out about this daycare pretty close to our house that was, I think, a generally positive thing for our daughter at the time. It’s a Montessori daycare. And it ended up having just some really wonderful teachers, but also some really wonderful friends, and several of whom live just within a couple blocks of us, and have become, in her short life, lifelong friends of our daughters. So, her closest friends in the neighborhood she’s been with since they were three months old, which thinking back on it, I’m like, oh my god, I can’t believe we dropped her off when she was three months old, and just went to the office. But you know, at the time, Kate and I were both in very busy parts of our careers. And I was very, very career focused. And, generally, our daughter did great with other kids, did great in daycare. And then there were a few times like towards the end when she was around five, and we were getting close to the kindergarten transition, she started having days where she just really didn’t want to go. And she would be literally kicking and screaming. I would literally carry her kicking and screaming, which is something that looking back on and I’m kind of mortified that I did. But my mindset at the time was, this is not optional. I've got to go to work. And you've got to go to school, this is the deal. Welcome to the world. And I really felt like I was leaving her in a safe place. And then we live about two blocks from a public school, and we are here in Minneapolis, and we really wanted to send her to that school, and we just kind of made that choice. We didn’t talk to her about it. We didn’t tour schools. And then it turned out most of the neighborhood kids including all her friends were going to the school that’s just a mile down the road but it’s in the suburban district. So, when she was at this school in kindergarten she didn’t know anybody there. And socio-economically and demographically the school that she went to for kindergarten is very different from her. And it was pretty rough. She encountered a lot of bullying. She encountered a lot of what was probably traumatic talk about what they call live shooter drills, and the discussion around that was extremely explicit and extremely scary. And so it was overall not a positive experience for her and within the first month, she was refusing to go and really upset about it. And we realized pretty quickly, though we did this whole, “No, you've got to go, there’s not a choice.” We did that for a little while and then finally she was literally just begging us to send her to the other school. And so we said okay, we’ll do that. It still didn’t occur to us that not going to school was an option. That was definitely not on the radar, but we were able to transfer her to the other school. They put her in the class with her friends, and she had this great group of friends. It seemed like everything was fine. It seemed like it was a total 180. We really didn’t have any more school refusal. The rest of the kindergarten year seemed good. And then we went through first grade and that seemed good. Summers were challenging because there’s this whole world of summer camps that’s super competitive and you have to sign your kid up for camps in January for the summer and my work schedule was so intense, and I was traveling a lot for work. So, Kate was alone with our daughter for a lot of the time. And so we signed her up for every week that we could. In retrospect, that was pretty intense. So, at the end of first grade. And while we went through first grade there were various signs, but nothing that was really telling us definitively that this is not working for her. And she really had a wonderful teacher in first grade, who really got her. And what we realized is that the teacher was really providing our daughter with a lot of accommodations, without her or us having to ask for them, and sort of would bend the rules of the school, just to make her more comfortable. And so that was super helpful and, and I think also pretty unusual. But after first grade ended that summer. We signed her up for a camp, a couple camps, and something happened in the course of that, where she really didn’t have a break at all between school and the camps, and she hit a wall, and we just started to see a dramatic, dramatic change in her. That was really frightening, because it was so intense. And so, at first it was not wanting to leave the house, I’m not going to go to camp, that sort of thing. Which was okay, by that point we were already into the pandemic so my travel had stopped and that was actually a big relief. I was still working a lot but I was at home, so it wasn’t like the end of the world if we couldn’t drop her off somewhere. But we started seeing a lot of physical aggression, and just anger and rage really. And it was something that was just very scary and challenging. And then that summer between first and second grade, she stopped wanting to get out of bed, and would not get out of bed the entire day. Wouldn’t comb her hair, bathe, brush teeth, none of those things were happening. It really felt like we’re in a crisis. And so, we sought medical help. But she wouldn’t go, she would not go to see a doctor. So we did virtual sessions with psychiatrists and that was extremely unhelpful. We were really approaching it through this medical model of, this is a crisis, our daughter is having some kind of like so far unexplained psychiatric episode. And like the psychiatrist basically said, you should commit her to some kind of inpatient thing. Everything about that just felt wrong to me. That was the point at which it was like, okay, we’re not going to talk to the psychiatrist anymore. This whole time I’d been Googling kind of ferociously trying to figure out what’s happening here. What I came across was all this content about PDA. It felt like, wow, this really sounded like it was describing what we were experiencing. So, I signed up for a class for parents who have PDA kids. And that was an interesting experience. On the one hand, it was like this huge relief because the class was from a parent who had gone through this experience and had taken a very scientific approach to trying to understand what was happening and how to readjust their lives to deal with this. In that class, which I generally had very mixed feelings about, but that’s the class where I heard the term unschooling for the first time. So to get to the question, I guess, that was definitely a phrase that I had never heard. In this class, there were 400 parents in this virtual class. I was just astonished at how many parents there were. And we would have these calls and the stories that people shared were all very similar, definitely very relatable. The thing I noticed is that everybody similar to us was approaching it as a crisis, like as a problem that has to be solved. One of the big lessons from the class was this is not something you can change. This is something you have to adapt to. So that definitely got me thinking and it was a real shift of mindset for me. It’s like, okay, this is it, life is not going to be the way we thought it was. And we have to make changes. And it was the facilitator of that class who first mentioned the term unschooling. There was lots of talk about homeschooling because so many of the kids whose parents were in this program were refusing or unable to go to school. In the school world, they label it school refusal. And I think the way I would talk about it now is just, unable to go to school really. So, then I started Googling unschooling and wondering, what the heck is this? Because I was not interested in being a teacher. I actually tried being a teacher in an early career. I had several, false starts, I guess I would say. And one of them was in education and I kind of left that thinking, okay, that is not something I can do. I am never going to do that again. My conception of homeschooling, and I think Anna, you were just talking about this in one of the recent discussions was like, homeschooling means you’re sitting at the kitchen table with workbooks and curriculum and you’re going through the whole thing. And I was like, I don’t want to do that. And I’m 99% sure that my daughter is not interested in that. And so that’s where the unschooling thing came in, I'd like to learn more about this. And so through Googling, I found this podcast (Exploring Unschooling) and it was a totally life-changing experience. I think just listening to the podcast, because I think the thing that really struck me is that I was immersed in this PDA community, which was very much using the medical model for looking at things and the deficit lens of looking at things. And then in the podcast, you all were taking this totally different lens. You’re not doing this because it’s a last resort and you have no other choice. It’s this intentional way of approaching life differently. And then just kind of turning all these things that I never questioned, like school is required and just asking, well, why? Let’s actually think about that. Is that actually true? What’s the goal of education and what are other ways of achieving that goal? And so just listening to stories of parents who were making this choice was really a really transformational experience. And then I went back into this class that I was taking, this class spanned a period of three months. And so in those three months was a huge learning for me, I would go back into these calls with these other parents and their voices are all just filled with panic and fear. And I was just like, I’m not feeling that anymore. When I went into it, I was all panic and fear. That was the deal. And then after listening, and I probably listened to like 150 episodes of the podcast, I’m just walking around the house, the headphones all day, just episode after episode, after episode, everything I’m doing, I’m listening to it. I was just like, I’m not afraid of this anymore. Then I joined the Network, really not knowing what to expect, but one thing that really struck me when I joined the Network is nobody in the network was using any of the same language that I had learned in my PDA curriculum that I had found. But a lot of people were describing similar things that sounded like similar experiences. And I was just like, wow, this is like a parallel universe over here where we’re dealing with the same human things, but this group of people is taking a completely different mindset and a completely different approach to it. It’s not a crisis. It’s not a problem. We’re just rolling with the phases of life and making adjustments that we have to make. I got really excited about unschooling and I was like, this is great. And then I wanted to be talking about it all the time, but I quickly found that people who are not unschooling are not interested in hearing about unschooling. That is a lesson I learned very quickly. So, it’s not something that we talked about at the park or at the neighborhood gatherings very much. So, that’s kind of the long winded story of how we arrived at this point. ERIKA: That gives me goosebumps. PAM: I know. I do appreciate you sharing the details of it because I mean, it is a very familiar journey for me. I remember the years, the two years where we had a great teacher. I was in the same place, working with my kids. I had no clue that this was a choice. This was something we had to figure out and having those teachers who were not as rigid and who saw my child and celebrated them and thought it was really cool and just accommodated. It was only night and day when then the next year you’ve got another teacher who was very, very fixated. But yeah, I super appreciate that whole journey and the comparison, the language and the approach, right. With these kids, I don't even like saying these kids, but with these kinds of situations, this way of moving through the world. We don’t see the deficit side because I hadn’t thought of it that way, but it is completely a choice. It’s like we’re introduced to it maybe because something has gone sideways. Because we grew up with the narrative of, this is the way we do things. We have kids, they go to daycare, they go to school, et cetera. And then something knocks us to ask that first question. But yeah, once you open that up and then you recognize all the different questions that you can ask and that shift to just being in the world with the people who are part of our families and, and it’s hard to explain fully respecting them and just living together and coming and going and, and understanding each other, and shifting to that perspective versus, oh my gosh, here’s all the accommodations I need to make to try to fix it. And then eventually, hopefully, they’ll work enough that we can go back to the life that we had. It’s still holding that because it’s revisiting the questions, revisiting the assumptions that we have been basing our life on that this is the good stuff to do. And what are all the things, even the super hard things, that we have to do to get ourselves back to that. ANNA: I think one of the things I really appreciate was you sharing the whole journey, because I think it will actually resonate with a lot of people. Just hearing how many people were in that PDA group is kind of amazing to me. But one of the things I love, when you first came to the Network and other people that have had a similar journey, because like you said, you’ll hear similar stories to yours very often in the Network, but it’s that first moment of relief, because I think so often you’re really focused on all the things that are happening that feel terrible. This is so serious, this is so terrible, but then really opening up to really seeing the gifts in your child. I mean, oh my gosh, from the beginning, your daughter just delighted me, she just had so many interesting things about her and the way she moved through the world. And I think when we can bring that perspective and I think parents are craving that, right? It’s why those teachers that were so kind felt so great because they saw the thing that you see in your child. And I think that is something that I love about the Network where we just celebrate all these amazing kids for the things that they bring to the table because it’s amazing. We don’t need to make everybody look the same and do the same thing. So, I loved that piece and just that little spark that happens when it’s like, yeah, she is amazing. And I love that we can be in a place where we can all see that. ERIKA: Yeah. When you’re too in the tunnel vision of a certain paradigm, the school paradigm where it has to look like this, and it’s not looking like this, and this is an emergency, it can be really hard to even imagine anything outside of that. But right, I feel like I remember when you first came to the Network, just the idea of what if there’s nothing wrong, actually, and we just are who we are and that’s okay. I think that feels so good, especially when we’re hearing all these messages about something being wrong. And then, for me, with my neurodivergent kids, I just have found being in the Network so validating and reinforcing and positive for me, because I just keep seeing all these similar experiences, they get it, they’ve been there with these same things. And everyone is just really appreciating the uniqueness of each of each child. And that just feels so much better. And I mean, we could try to fix things for our whole lives and just be in constant conflict, and nothing would necessarily even get better or change. And so, I think it’s just so much nicer to be in a nice relationship, in a positive relationship with their kids. And I know you’ve talked about a lot of shifts already. But the question I wanted to ask is, what has been like the biggest mindset shift for you in this journey so far? SAM: I think it’s got to be around the school. There are so many things around this. And I was thinking about this on the most basic level, just the idea that school was optional, or that there were different ways to approach it was a big learning. I think one thing that I left out of the story is that as we were approaching second grade, our daughter was enrolled. And as we were getting closer and closer, I just couldn’t picture how this was going to happen. I think at the end of the summer, on the day after Labor Day, which is when school starts, it was like, I don’t think things are going to be magically different. And we can't just pick up and go back to where we were. But our daughter was, I think she also had the message already ingrained that school was not optional. And so she did rally. We went and got her haircut, and we got clothes. And she went that first day. First, we went to the open house. And that went okay, and we met her new teacher. And then she went to the first day. And everyone in the school said that they were amazing. And that second day, she woke up, and she said, “I am not going back to that school.” And it was firm, this is the deal. And so then I went through a lot between that early September, and probably mid October, which is right around the time, this would have been 2024, which was right on the time that I joined the network. I was calling our daughter in sick every day. And keeping in touch with the school, having weekly calls with the school, trying to explain to them what’s going on. And then I switched her from the school district that we had enrolled her in, and had a virtual only. It is a really innovative virtual-only option that they developed during COVID, and then really invested a lot in. And it seemed really cool, actually. So we switched her to that program. And that did not help at all. She was not going to get on those classes. And she was not going to log in. But I had calls with the teacher every week. And the teacher told me, “I went through the same thing where my daughter refused to go to school. I am totally with you. I totally get it. I totally get where you are.” And I mean, these people at the school could not have been more supportive. But then as soon as we hit the 30 day mark, they were like, well, it’s been 30 days. And now we got to call the county, we got to get the county in there. Suddenly, it was like, okay, we’ve been accommodating, but time’s up, it’s been 30 days, and it can’t go on for this long. At that point, we had had our daughter assessed for neuropsychological evaluation and had all of these assessments done and found a really knowledgeable doctor who specialized in autism in girls. And I felt more confident that what our daughter really needed was rest, and was in a state of burnout that she was not going to recover from quickly. And the psychologist said you should think about it as a year, at least, that she’s going to be in this reduced-capacity state. But it wasn’t until the school said, we got to call the county, that I was like, okay, we've got to make a decision. And at that moment, the decision is we are not going to try to work through this medical deficit lens to try and get our daughter back on track to return to the environment which put her into this state. And so, I think it really took that for me to have that internal shift or transformational kind of moment of, we have to make a different decision. And so, from that point, instead of being like, okay, this unschooling thing sounds great and we’re gonna do this until we no longer have to, I think that’s where my mindset had been, and then I moved into more of what I would call acceptance of no, no, no, we’re going to really choose this path. And it wasn’t until that point that I really started to embrace unschooling and get excited about it and actually think about it as a deliberate choice. And I think the other shift that I think is important was more about me and my worries and my career, because I have always had this sense of financial insecurity and just kind of fear around that. When I was insisting that she go to school, forcing her to go to school, it’s true that I had to go to work and it’s true that my work was very busy and that I had to travel a lot for work, but I didn’t have to work that job. And that was really the way I had approached work. I worked really hard. Work was a top priority in my life before meeting Kate and thinking about having kids and all that. And I was achieving a lot of recognition and success at work and there was no part of me, any new opportunity that I was given at work I said yes to any new challenge I was given. I said yes to anything. If I was given negative feedback at work, I was going to overcome that and do whatever I had to do. And I just was in this mode of thriving on the validation systems of the corporate world and just moving up that ladder. And I had ended up in a leadership position and there was really no part of me that was like, this is optional or I don’t have to. It was like, no, I have to do this. And so, I think that when I started to go through the shift about school, it really made me think about, why am I spending so much time at work? When I was working from home, I had like 12-14 meetings back-to-back on Zoom every day. And I was anxious and frustrated all the time and I was super stressed out and it’s like, no matter how hard you work, there’s always more work. It's just never finished. And so, I started to think that I don’t have to have this career path. It just doesn’t have to be this way. And so, then I started making decisions at work to pull back from work and first I changed into a lower stress job. I stepped down from the leadership role and I took a different kind of role and then I reduced my hours and then eventually it was like, I’m just going to stop working. And there’s definitely a privilege involved with that and there was also, it really was in in the case of our family, I think it was a huge mindset mindset shift for me about how important work really is and how important money is and what you need to do versus what you want to do and all these different things. So that was like a pretty huge thing. And I think that’s the other piece. I often think this related to unschooling now, is that I feel like and I really like that the name of the network is Living Joyfully, because I feel like the term unschooling just doesn’t quite do it, because school is just one part of it or how we approach learning. It’s just one part of it. But really it’s been a total change of how I approach life on a daily basis, right? In big ways and in small ways and so that’s really just a huge transformation that this journey has involved for me. PAM: I love it and yes, the name of the Network was very intentional because absolutely unschooling was my window to this world. It was that the school was the first question when I eventually discovered that it wasn’t the law that there were other options than just dropping your kids off at school or else you go to jail. And it is just so brilliant how you asked that question. You start diving into that and how it opens up It’s like oh, well if I can question school, maybe I can question work. As I am questioning school I am starting to have different perspectives and thoughts about relationships and the value of relationships and the value of my child, a different way of seeing my child as a human being versus somebody I need to train and who needs to learn that you go to school and then that becomes work. I remember there was a season where I noticed when I was writing blog posts many years ago that every blog post I wrote that started about unschooling, obviously, by the end of a thousand words, fifteen hundred words was and that’s life because really the perspective can be applied across every aspect of life. It’s not just school, yes or no, when you want to dive deeper. When you discover it’s not so much that I need to fix all these things so that the kid can enjoy school so that I can enjoy work. Thinking there’s something wrong with me if I’m not making these conventional systems work for me versus questioning the systems in the first place And just I love the journey of how you tweaked it, right? It’s like oh, I’m gonna change my job to release some of the stress. Now I’m gonna lower my hours. That was the same approach with school, right? Those 30 days you’re just calling in sick because it’s keeping your doors open, keeping the possibilities open until there was a moment where that door is closing and now we really want to make an actual choice. Are we going to force through this or are we going to decide to step out of that system? ANNA: I think, for me, I mentioned at the top, questioning the prevailing narratives and I think that’s the big piece for me. We have a lot of narratives, school is a have to and school is hard, you just have to do hard things and work is hard and you have to do hard things and we need to be productive and all of these kinds of beliefs that end up not necessarily serving us individually or as a family but end up serving the system that we’re in. That is one of my favorite parts of this, really just questioning all of it and you may still choose to work in some way or to go to school in some way but boy does it feel different as a choice and an intentional path than it does as a have to and the drudgery. That is why it's called Living Joyfully, why we so intentionally chose that and why Pam really really resonated for me. It's questioning, why do we have to have these hard things? Why does life have to be hard? Why does work have to be hard? Why does school have to be hard? Maybe it doesn’t. And so once we can start asking that question and really examine the answers, I think everything changes so dramatically. ERIKA: Yeah, I love that your answer to the question is basically everything. I just completely changed into a new person. I totally remember that part of my journey as well. When it’s just this ripple effect of one little thing that doesn’t have to be like that and then it just all kind of ripples out from there and I just love it. PAM: One thing I just wanted to say, I think at first like when I remember way back when we started, when I first heard the term unschooling and you hear of people describing living joyfully, making choices from that perspective rather than, life is hard. We have to do these hard things. At first, I remember thinking- well, if I step back and start choosing not to do hard things, won’t my life or my kids be so boring because we won’t be doing all those things. But like Anna said, you’ve discovered and shared Sam, it’s that shift to the motivation behind the choices. The fact that they are now choices, we see our kids choosing to do hard things all the time. Challenging things that get them right up at the edge. Tipping over into frustration, but the fact that they’re choosing them intentionally makes all the difference in the world. That was just something out there because at first you can think oh well then we’re going to be doing nothing but that’s one of the feedback we get to our questions. We used to get so often well, they’re never gonna do anything if you don’t make it do these hard things, right? They do all kinds of things! ANNA: We’re about to wrap up, but I feel like because you’ve shared this journey I just want to and hopefully this isn't too much of a surprise. I know you’re about a year and a half into your unschooling journey, maybe just give a brief glimpse into, things really do feel better, right? Your daughter really feels better, you see her kind of coming back into the person you felt like before and even more so I just maybe that would help give the arc for people that are feeling like it’s hard and it’s scary right now. SAM: Yes, and I thank you for that opportunity because if I think back to where we were. If I think back to a year and a half ago, I was scared. I guess on the one hand I would hear stories of parents who’ve been through something similar and were in a different, better place now was helpful, but on the other hand the voice in my head was like, but that’s not going to be your situation. This is the rest of your life. And it was slow and I think you, Anna, said something really helpful to me at one point. We were probably six months in and I was saying something and I can’t remember what we were talking about but it was in one of our weekly calls. I was commenting on being in burnout and what it was going to be like after and you said, Sam, I think you have some thinking to do about what it means to be done with burnout or what is life going to be like after burnout? What does that even mean? That was super helpful and I’ve thought about that a lot because going into burnout felt very sudden. It just felt like one day we woke up and we were in a different universe. That’s how it felt. But when I think back, there were lots of signs. And if I go back and read, I’m a journaler, and if I go back and read my journal entries from three years ago, the signs are there in my journal or even from longer ago than that. So, it really wasn’t sudden and the sort of transition out and now our daughter does talk about how she was in burnout and she talks about that sometimes. She talks about it as in the past tense and sometimes. She’s still a little bit in there, but she knows she’s in a better place. It really is just very incremental one day at a time, but things have changed dramatically. And we’re just in it as a family. I think we’re just in a way, way, way better place and it doesn’t look anything like it looked before. I think it’s better than it was before but I could never have imagined or thought that this is what we would want. But now I just think things are great. I just feel more confident that we can deal with whatever challenges come up as they come up and we just have a new approach and a new lens for life. ANNA: I think one of the cool things about her and some of the other kids that we’ve seen transition in that way is just how they teach us how to regulate. I want to do this thing and then I want some time off and wait, I don’t want to do this thing. I’ve loved watching her journey of really understanding herself because I think she was pushing herself beyond her limits, sometimes with a little help from you all. But sometimes I think she was just reading the signs and saying okay, I need to do this. But now with this freedom you see her just being so intentional and expending a lot of energy on some things and then saying hey, I need to dial it back. I just feel like that’s great for all of us to learn and remember and normalize that that’s actually how humans like to move through the world. That fast, linear pace is really hard for most humans and our nervous system. So, I love what these kids have to teach us as well. I appreciate you just sharing a little bit more of that arc. Thank you so so much for being here. It’s been really interesting and powerful and I hope everyone enjoyed the conversation and maybe had their own kind of aha moment or just resonated with the feelings that we’ve been talking about. If you enjoy these kinds of conversations and want to come hang out with us. We’d love to have you join us on the Living Joyfully Network. We invite you to check it out and see if it fits with our free month trial and you’ll find the link in the show notes. And also at livingjoyfully.ca. The link will be on the home page. Thank you so much for being here and for everyone for joining us. PAM: Thanks so much, Sam.ERIKA: Thanks, Sam. SAM: Thank you.

"Stop comparing the hard. Start validating the hard." That one line from Heidi Price might be the whole episode. Heidi spent years in the autism community before she was a mom. She worked as a recreational therapist, and she married into a family that knows autism well, with two brothers-in-law on the spectrum and two nephews too. She thought she understood it. Then she had her own kids, and she learned how much the level one experience can humble even someone who works in the field. Heidi and her husband live in North Carolina with their three kids. Two of the three are autistic, and both are level one. Her six-year-old son has autism, ADHD, and a PDA, or pathological demand avoidance, profile. Her five-year-old daughter was diagnosed at three and spent about a year and a half in ABA therapy. Her youngest, who is three, has severe food allergies. As Heidi puts it, it's a fun place at her house. In this Seen and Heard episode, Heidi gives Rob a real, unscripted look at what their days actually hold. The morning rules you can't break. The clothing battles when the seasons change. The way her son and daughter can need the exact opposite things at the exact same time. And one recent win that will stick with you, where a couple of soda cans, a pair of new shoes, and three days of patience turned a meltdown into a victory lap. But the heart of this one is Heidi's message about comparison. Every level of autism is hard. The level threes and the level ones. The non-verbal days and the principal-calling days. They can coexist, and one does not have to threaten the other. She's honest about the services gap too, about how her daughter could not get an IEP because she wasn't considered bad enough, even while she was still struggling. What you'll hear: Why working in autism for years still didn't prepare her for level one PDA, control, and why you can't just wake her kids up The soda-can trick that got her son into new shoes How autism showed up differently in her son than her daughter Why level one kids can fall through the cracks for services "Stop comparing the hard. Start validating the hard." "Everyone's hard is hard. We need to stop comparing the hard. We need to start validating the hard." Heidi Price This episode is presented by Best Part Kids, a sensory-friendly multivitamin for selective eaters created by dietitian Brittyn Coleman. Use code THEAUTISMDAD for 10% off at BestPartKids.com. #ad About Rob: Rob Gorski is the founder of The Autism Dad, a blog and podcast dedicated to supporting parents raising kids on the autism spectrum. As a dad of three autistic sons with over 25 years of experience, Rob brings lived experience, honesty, and heart to every conversation. Rob's book, So Your Child Was Just Diagnosed with Autism, lands December 29, 2026 from Fair Winds Press. Updates and preorder: theautismdad.com/book Where to find Rob: You can find me at theautismdad.com, on Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok at The Autism Dad, and on YouTube at The Autism Dad. New episodes drop every week at listen.theautismdad.com. Where to find Heidi: [CONFIRM: Heidi's handles or site. She did not share them on the episode.]

If you are a parent who cannot unschool or homeschool your PDA child, or who needs practical support navigating the school system, this episode is for you. I am joined by Dr. Destiny Huff, a licensed professional counselor, non-attorney special education advocate, and neuro-affirming trainer who is also late-diagnosed autistic and ADHD and a mother of neurodivergent children.Dr. Huff shares the most common patterns she sees as PDA families navigate schools, how she frames the nervous system lens in IEP meetings, the specific accommodations she advocates for most consistently, her approach to functional behavioral assessments, and practical steps parents can take right now.Key TakeawaysTwo Patterns Dr. Huff Sees Advocating for PDA Families | 00:05:06 The first is families who have learned about PDA but are still defaulting to the demand avoidance frame when explaining it to schools, which makes it easy for administrators to push back by saying the child just needs to deal with demands. The second is schools latching onto the term PDA itself, either saying they do not recognize it or using it superficially, without understanding the nervous system mechanisms underneath it. Dr. Huff's approach is to move past the label entirely and focus on the root cause: what is happening in the nervous system, what does dysregulation look like for this specific learner, and what changes in the environment and approach can support access and safety.How to Frame the Conversation in an IEP Meeting | 00:13:53 Dr. Huff focuses on three areas that school staff are almost never formally trained on: sensory needs, communication access when regulated and dysregulated, and executive functioning, of which regulation is a component. She always starts with a profile letter that describes the whole learner before getting into accommodations or concerns, and she prefers working with teachers directly because they are often the most unheard people in the room and the most open to trying something new when asked what they are actually seeing.Accommodations Dr. Huff Advocates for Most Consistently | 00:29:43 The first is declarative language, documented with a concrete example of what it actually looks like in practice, because most teams have heard the term but are not using it correctly. The second is a nonverbal communication plan, for when the learner is dysregulated, that could include a designated safe space and trusted person, identified by the learner rather than assigned by the school, paired with a low-profile signal like a hand gesture or an email so the learner can access that space without drawing attention.Her Approach to Functional Behavioral Assessments | 00:40:11 Dr. Huff sees FBAs as useful primarily because they reveal the school's perception of the learner, even when the terminology reflects a behavioral lens she does not share. Once she understands what the school believes is driving the behavior, she goes into rewrite mode with her families: adjusting the language, shifting the approach toward relationship, safety and trust, and pushing back on behavior intervention plans that default to token economies and compliance strategies.What to Do When a Child Is Too Burned Out to Access School | 00:37:27 Dr. Huff has successfully advocated for truncated days and reduced schedules. Her consistent position is that a reduced schedule does not let the school off the hook for providing free and appropriate public education, but it does acknowledge where the child's nervous system is right now and creates a starting point that can be adjusted over time based on what is actually working.Relevant ResourcesYour FBA Is a Fantasy — Book by Rick and Doris Bowman on how to approach functional behavioral assessments through a trauma-informed, neuro-affirming lens rather than a behavior modification lens, recommended directly by Dr. Huff in this episode.Collaborative & Proactive Solutions — Ross Greene's framework for addressing the root causes of challenging behavior through collaboration rather than compliance, referenced by Dr. Huff as a resource for reframing FBAs.The Affirming Village Podcast — Podcast hosted by Dr. Destiny Huff and Lisa Baskin Wright on neuro-affirming approaches to education and parenting.Neuro-Affirming Special Education Handbook — Dr. Huff's book on navigating special education in the US from a neuro-affirming standpoint, including guidance on IEPs, FBAs, and supporting PDA learners.Advocacy and Consultation With Dr. Destiny Huff — Dr. Huff's direct services for families, including IEP meeting attendance, drafting parent input statements, and consultation on supporting PDA and neurodivergent learners in schools.Dr. Destiny Huff on Instagram — Follow Dr. Huff for ongoing content on neuro-affirming special education advocacy, IEP navigation, and supporting neurodivergent learners in schools.Paradigm Shift Program — My signature program for parents of PDA children and teens taught across twelve weeks of live coaching.

Beaches, like any public space, are shared. And as the temperature rises this summer, beach goers will be dividing towel space, and navigating thorny beach etiquette questions around speakers, umbrellas, and even PDA. Jeremy Schneider, NJ.com food and culture editor, discusses his article featuring 15 tips to make sure no one hates you at the Jersey Shore, and listeners share their biggest beach etiquette pet peeves. Photo by Kena Betancur/Getty Images: People take to the beach during Memorial Day weekend on May 26, 2019 in Seaside Heights, New Jersey. Memorial Day is the unofficial start of summer and this year New Jersey has banned smoking and vaping on nearly every public beach under tougher new restrictions.  Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

This episode of PRISON BREAKING WITH SARAH & PAUL is sponsored by Hulu. Stream PRISON BREAK on Hulu (U.S.) and Disney+ (Internationally) Sarah Wayne Callies and Paul Adelstein discuss “Prison Break” Season 4 Episode 3 “Shut Down,” focusing on Milan Cheylov's directing, including the claustrophobic chase location, car-chase camerawork, sound design on Wyatt's torture scenes, and an overall rise in intensity and physicality (neck-grabs, head-slaps) across the episode. They note how period tech (PDA references and flip-phone texting) dates the story, debate how much exposition viewers need versus simply believing the characters, and riff on a proposed “Lincoln Bingo” game tracking Lincoln's recurring traits. They also talk about Mahone's darkness, commitment to finding his son's killer, and his value as the team's most dangerous asset, plus a running joke about hair length correlating with power. Guest Wilbur Fitzgerald (Bruce Bennett) reflects on playing a lawyerly, loyal confidant to Governor Raitt and Sarah, balancing acting with a long legal career (including helping create Georgia's film tax incentives), returning for season four, and crafting a restrained, non-corny “drugged” performance opposite Cress Williams; he shares that he wasn't warned his character would die and answers fan questions and a “Scylla Squad” prompt. For the full experience of enjoying Prison Breaking With Sarah & Paul, subscribe to our Patreon channel where you can watch Sarah & Paul's running commentary on Ep 306 while re-watching the episode on Hulu or your home DVD collection. You can also watch in a group with other fans on our fan-led Discord server. Subscribe here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://patreon.com/user?u=116411884⁠⁠⁠⁠ -or- Click Link in Bio Patreon Subscribers get access to all of our Watch Parties and FanFiction (all captioned in six languages - English, French, Spanish, German, Portuguese, and Turkish), exclusive Ask Me Anything's with Sarah & Paul, and unannounced Discord drop-ins on our always rollicking server with fans and friends who come together from around the world. All for less than a cup of coffee. Leave us your comments, shoot us an email, or leave us a voicemail - we love hearing from all of you! prisonbreaking@caliber-studio.com (401) 3-PBREAK Watch the episode on YouTube - / @prisonbreakpodcast Follow us on Instagram - / prisonbreakpodcast Follow us on TikTok - / prisonbreakpodcast Merch!!! - https://pbmerch.printify.me/products #fyp #michaelscofield #saratancredi #michealscofield #prisonbreakedits #prisonbreak #wentworthmilleredits #wentworthmiller #editor #fyy #fyppp #saratancrediedit #prisonbreakseason1 #sarahwaynecallies #prisonbreakseason2 #scofield #fy #sarascofield #saratancrediedits #scofield Logo design by John Nunziatto @ Little Big Brands. If you want one yourself, reach out at https://www.littlebigbrands.com/ and tell him we sent you. PRISON BREAKING WITH SARAH & PAUL is a Caliber Studio production. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Is there such a thing as too much PDA? While there is no definitive answer, there are moments where even the most open of us must draw the line?But, are we drawing the line too soon in Ireland?Joining Seán to discuss this is Dr Siobhan O'Higgins, Sexologist and Educator from the School of Psychology at the University of Galway.

Justin Bieber Biography Flash a weekly Biography. Justin Bieber has spent the past few days quietly but very visibly reinforcing two big biographical themes: his evolution into a low‑key family man and his continued value as a lifestyle and branding powerhouse. Over the weekend in Los Angeles, local outlets and eyewitness clips shared by the Evansville Courier and Press reported that Justin surprised a table of diners at a Mexican restaurant by casually joining in a singalong of Happy Birthday, turning an ordinary celebration into a viral moment. The video shows him relaxed, smiling, and clearly comfortable slipping into normal life while still being the guy whose voice instantly electrifies a room, a small but telling snapshot of where he is in his fame journey. Just a night or two earlier, fan videos on Instagram and TikTok captured Justin and Hailey Bieber attending The Kid LAROI's show at the Greek Theatre in Los Angeles, sitting in the crowd rather than staging a grand entrance. Those sightings, amplified by multiple fan accounts, underline how Bieber has repositioned himself: no longer the constant headliner, but a heavyweight pop elder statesman who can show up and instantly become the subtext of someone else's event. On the business front, tech and lifestyle creators on TikTok, including CarterPCS, have been highlighting a new line of Justin Bieber–branded headphones and speakers. While full financial details have not been disclosed, the early reviews center on design, sound quality, and the power of his name to move product, reinforcing his long‑running shift from pure touring artist to diversified brand and investor. This kind of consumer‑electronics play fits neatly beside his earlier catalog sale and various fashion and skincare collaborations, and could have real long‑term significance if it becomes a sustained product line rather than a one‑off drop. Relationship chatter, always a biographical through‑line, remains intense. Entertainment sites like AOL continue to point back to Hailey's recent PDA‑filled photo dumps and Coachella moments with Justin as evidence that, despite constant online speculation about their marriage, the public record still shows a couple that chooses to appear affectionate and unified. Any rumors of separation circulating on social media as of the past few days remain unconfirmed and should be treated as speculation unless and until addressed by the Biebers or reported by major outlets with direct sourcing. Thanks for listening and make sure you subscribe so you never miss an update on Justin Bieber, and search the term Biography Flash for more great biographies. Thanks for listening. This has been a Quiet Please production. Get the best deals https://amzn.to/3ODvOta

Que Interpol anuncie nuevo disco siempre es una muy buena noticia, que lo haga avanzando dos canciones, mucho más y, si una de ellas es "See Out Loud", nos derretimos. Los neoyorkinos han vuelto por la puerta grande con una canción que, además, cuenta con Daniel Kessler, guitarrista de Interpol, como vocalista, no lo hacía desde “PDA”, de "Turn On The Bright Lights". El nuevo disco de Interpol se publica el 28 de agosto con el título de "This Mirror Weighs A Ton", el mismo del otro de los avances. Escuchamos también lo nuevo de Ty Segall, Jack White, The Strokes, Mallo y Lizzo.   FONTAINES D.C. - It's Amazing To Be YoungINTERPOL - See Out Loudlevitants - SeñalesPLACEBO - Nancy BoyTY SEGALL - Black PaintJACK WHITE - Dollar BillHERMANA FURIA - Vis a VisPUÑO DRAGÓN - Todos los CharcosTHE STROKES - Falling Out of LoveCARLANGAS, LEIVA - Podría Ser PeorMALLO – Duelo a Primera SangreNIA ARCHIVES – VerticalLIZZO - She Stole My ManDIGITALISM - Achtung! OptimismTRUENO - Delivery FreestyleEscuchar audio

Nick Reiner accused of killing his parents now asking for their money. Why he could get millions from Rob and Michelle for his own murder defense. Then, handsy, hot & heavy. Only one show is with both Justin Trudeau and Katy Perry for their PDA-packed red carpet debut. Plus, a slam dunk exclusive. Only ET's on the court, in the tunnels, and front row with the A-listers at the NBA Finals. And, Steven Spielberg brings the aliens, while Emily Blunt brings the mayhem. Why no one was safe from her “Disclosure Day” red carpet invasion. Then, all new scenes from the “Legally Blonde” prequel, only we're with the cast of “Elle”. Plus, an all new rETrospective with Judith Light brings surprise after surprise. 50 years in Hollywood, over 100 roles, and her next move joining the MCU. And, the iconic VMA moment that didn't actually go down as planned. J. Lo reveals that she was supposed to be there, but why she wasn't the only pop star who passed.

When he was young, it seemed like my son Cooper was almost always active and agitated. I tried everything I was told to try - bubble blowing for deep breathing, emotion naming, zones of regulation, nature walks with candy as incentives - but nothing worked. Maybe the activity would occupy him once, but then he'd be agitated all over again afterwards. I thought I must be going it wrong, or just a bad mom.What I know now is that I wasn't and I'm not - and neither are you. The logic underneath those approaches just does not match how a pathologically demand avoidant nervous system actually works.In this episode I discuss the 4-S Framework I developed to help my PDA son - and the children of the many families I was working with - stay regulated. The four S's are: safe nervous system, sensory intense experience with novelty and dopamine, screens, and special interests. I talk through what each one means for a PDA brain specifically, why children in burnout can often only access some of the four, and how to use this framework to structure unstructured time so it feels less like chaos and more like a plan.Key Takeaways Why the Approaches I Was Given Kept Making Things Worse | 00:02:06 I walk through the regulation strategies I tried with Cooper before I understood PDA: sensory integration activities like bubble blowing and glitter shaker bottles, naming emotions and using the zones of regulation stoplight, and nature walks I would incentivize with sweets. Each one followed the same pattern: novelty made the first attempt work, and the second produced refusal, avoidance, or escalating behavior. But then I had an "aha" moment and made a shift that changed everything. S1: What Actually Makes a Nervous System Safe for a PDA Brain | 00:21:43 A safe nervous system for a pathologically demand avoidant child is not simply a kind or emotionally attuned person. In my work with thousands of families, I have seen loving, competent, well-trained adults be deeply unsafe nervous systems for PDA children, not because they are unkind but because they arrive with an agenda. They want to teach, engage, improve, or modify. The safest nervous system is the one that is not trying to change the child at all. I use the example of a grandma who arrives with activities and baking plans versus a grandpa who sits on the couch reading his phone with zero agenda. The PDA child will reliably gravitate toward grandpa. This is also why you may notice your child feels safer with your partner on certain days, or with a teenage neighbor who just wants to jump on the trampoline without any goal. The lower the agenda, the safer the nervous system. S2: Sensory Intense Experience, Novelty, Dopamine, and the Modern Day Alchemist | 00:26:48 The second S covers three overlapping things: physical sensory intensity like roughhousing; novelty, which is why the first time at an ice skating rink produces full regulation and the second visit produces a meltdown; and dopamine, which can show up as a fixation on sugar, screens, or the drive to transform things from one material state to another. I call this last pattern the modern day alchemist, and I see it consistently across PDA children and adults I work with. S3: Screens, Books, Podcasts, and Journaling as Regulation Tools | 00:40:02 I view screens neutrally, and I want to be clear that this S is not only about screens. For PDA children and teens who are older, or for PDA adults who grew up before constant access to devices, this S may have looked like always having a book in hand, listening to podcasts, or journaling compulsively. What all of these have in common is that they provide autonomy, allow engagement with special interests and learning without an agenda, and offer relief from the intense sensory input that comes both from the outside world and from inside a nervous system that is chronically activated. For Cooper during burnout, screens were one of only two things that kept him regulated enough to eat and exist. Now that his activation has come down, he tracks his own screen time and averages around two hours a day, half the national average for American children. That shift was not something I imposed. It happened naturally as his window of tolerance expanded. I share this because I know how much shame parents carry around screen time, and I want to offer a different frame: screens in the right season can be what keeps your child accessible to life. S4: Special Interest and How to Use the Full Framework in Practice | 00:43:45 Special interest for a PDA brain involves what researchers call monotropic focus: sustained attention toward an interest that is deeply regulating, and dysregulation when pulled away from it. For Cooper right now the three special interests are football, fishing, and friends. When I need to help him out of the "I'm bored" loop, I use the framework to identify which S's are available and stack them. In the episode I also name what this looks like in burnout: during the hardest years, Cooper could only access safe nervous system and screens. The other S's returned as his activation came down, and I want parents to hold that as evidence that things can shift.Relevant Resources Understanding PDA — Free class where I teach the nervous system disability framework and the threat perception mechanism that explains why standard regulation approaches tend to backfire for PDA childrenBurnout — Free class with context for the burnout period I describe in this episode, when only two of the four S's are typically accessibleSchool, Screens and Siblings — Free class directly relevant to the screens S and how I think about screen time as a neutral tool within the Four S Framework Monotropism: Understanding Autistic Ways of Being — Background reading on the monotropic focus I describe in the S4 section and how it shapes regulation and learning in autistic and PDA brainsMonotropic Split and Burnout — Explains what happens when monotropic focus is repeatedly fractured, directly relevant to why pulling a PDA child away from a special interest contributes to cumulative activation and burnoutMe and Monotropism: A Unified Theory of Autism — Deeper academic context for the monotropism framework I reference when explaining the fourth S

Trying to do all of the things, all of the time is a recipe for being stuck.Instead, do some of the things, some of the time.The episode also talks about a couple of imagination techniques that may help with some types of PDA or other demand avoidance.AuDHD Flourishing resources:Transcript Doc (often a few weeks behind, but we do catch up!)Mattia's NewsletterLike Your Brain community space (Patreon/Discord) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Eliza Fricker joins me to talk about PDA or pathological demand avoidance – and in fact I know many people interpret PDA as persistent desire for autonomy. I've done a few episodes on PDA before but never from a parent's perspective so after reading Eliza's book, The Family Experience of PDA, I knew I wanted to share her perspective with the Tilt community. During this episode, we talked about how demand avoidance is more extreme in a child with a PDA profile vs. the inflexibility and rigidity we might see in other neurodivergent kids, what Eliza has learned about herself parenting a child with PDA, and what her resistance was to the changes needed to her parenting style. Eliza also gave out some great tips for teachers who have a PDA student in their classroom and for parents who are struggling with family, friends, or people close to them who aren't willing to understand what PDA is and what that means for their family. Things you'll learn from this episode * What makes demand avoidance more extreme in children with PDA * Eliza's experience in changing her parenting ways to become more flexible * Tweaks teachers can use to work with children who have PDA in a classroom setting * How PDA may look different than “typical demand avoidance” that we might see in some neurodivergent children * What Eliza has learned about herself from parenting a child with PDA * Advice for parents who are raising a child with PDA Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What if behaviors that look defiant are actually signs of a nervous system under threat? In this episode, Rabbi Shoshana unpacks PDA, also known as Pathological Demand Avoidance or Pervasive Drive for Autonomy, and explains how nervous system sensitivity, autonomy, and co-regulation shape behavior in neurodivergent kids. She explores why traditional approaches often fail, how aspects of modern life intensify dysregulation, and what it means to truly trust a child rather than assume oppositional intent. Get ready to rethink “difficult behavior,” understand what may be happening beneath the surface, and walk away with a more compassionate, nervous-system-informed approach to supporting your family.What to expect in this episode:The connection between nervous system sensitivity, autonomy, and emotional regulationPDA behaviors that are commonly mistaken for defiance or manipulationModern school and family expectations that can push sensitive nervous systems into overloadA breakdown of the “safe circle” metaphor and what it says about threat responseMeaningful, real-life tasks that naturally lower resistance and increase cooperationAbout Rabbi ShoshanaRabbi Shoshana Meira Friedman is a PDA Autistic woman and creator of The PDA Safe Circle™, a transformative online community for PDAers and their loved ones that centers her strengths-based PDA Safe Circle® Approach. Rabbi Shoshana is known for her in-depth content on PDA that helps PDAers of all ages to thrive within the constraints of their vulnerable nervous system. After a previous career in Jewish congregational leadership and climate activism, she is now a sought-after coach and trainer for PDA adults, parents, and allied clinicians. Her writing has been published in many venues, including The New York Times and Psychotherapy Networker magazine, and she is the author of two children's books.​Connect with RabbiWebsite: The PDA Safe Circle Instagram: @rabbishoshana Get your FREE copy of 12 Key Coaching Tools for Parents at https://impactparents.com/gift.​Connect with Impact Parents:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/impactparentsFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/ImpactParentsLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/impactparentsSponsors"Cognitive Ergonomics from the Inside Out" – A New ADHD InterventionDo you recognize current ADHD interventions fall short? At DIG Coaching, we've developed a groundbreaking field of engineering called Cognitive Ergonomics from the Inside Out. Discover a fresh approach to ADHD care that looks beyond traditional methods.Learn more at www.cognitive-ergonomics.com

I sit down with Dr. Jennifer Huffman, a board-certified pediatric neuropsychologist, PDA woman with lived experience, and creator of the Neurodynamic Navigator System and the Neurodynamic Quotient. After twenty-five years working with children whose profiles were called often called ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder), she developed a framework to make the dynamic, fluctuating nature of the PDA brain visible and usable for parents, teachers, and clinicians.We talk about her childhood as an undiagnosed PDA autistic person, why ODD as a diagnosis isn't helpful, how she assesses children who cannot come into an office, and the app she is building to help families. After all that great insight, just her closing message for parents of PDA kids in burnout makes this episode worth a listen.Key TakeawaysGrowing Up as an Undiagnosed PDA Autistic Neuropsychologist | 00:02:48 Dr. Huffman describes a childhood marked by academic failure in math from third grade, severe bullying that led her parents to drive her thirty minutes each way to attend school in a different town, and the recurring experience of being told she was not living up to her potential. She names the specific mechanism she now recognizes in herself: she cannot process on demand. If someone tells her to do something, or if it feels redundant, her brain shuts off. This is not willfulness. It is the same mechanism she has spent twenty-five years helping children and families understand. She describes finding neuropsychology in her third year of undergraduate study as a light bulb moment, not because she wanted a career but because she was trying to figure out her own brain.The ODD Buster: Why Oppositional Defiant Disorder Is So Often the Wrong Label | 00:12:39 Dr. Huffman describes spending twenty-five years working with the complex cases other clinicians could not crack, children who had been given ODD diagnoses and whom nobody wanted to work with. She calls herself the ODD buster and states directly that in her clinical experience, she has rarely seen a child who actually had ODD. What she consistently found underneath that label was high empathy, anxiety, sensory differences, social communication differences, and learning differences, often in combination. She names ODD as an example of a DSM category built by non-neurodivergent clinicians describing externalized behavior without curiosity about what is underneath it.How She Assesses Children Who Cannot Come Into an Office | 00:17:38 Dr. Huffman explains that when a child is in burnout and cannot access evaluation, the work does not begin with the child. It begins with the parent: helping them advocate with the school, coordinating with medical providers who may not understand why the child cannot leave the house, and slowly building a relationship with the child themselves. She describes spending six months to a year playing Minecraft with a child before any formal assessment data is collected, and names this as genuinely valuable clinical time. She also holds PSYPACT certification, which allows her to work with families across most of the United States without the family ever entering her office.The Neurodynamic Quotient: Making the Dynamic Nature of the PDA Brain Visible | 00:36:57 Dr. Huffman introduces the Neurodynamic Quotient, her framework for understanding why PDA children can do something one day and appear to lose the skill the next. The formula combines dynamic safety, which includes felt safety, connection, information, and autonomy, with dynamic capacity, which includes the battery, sensory load, and executive functioning scaffolding, plus motivation. She explains why autonomy functions as a multiplier: if it reaches zero, the entire product is zero regardless of how much skill or capability is present. She also names motivation as the variable parents and teachers most often misuse, pushing past natural capacity because the child demonstrated what they were capable of once.Do Not Get in Front of Your Child | 00:55:03 Dr. Huffman closes with a message for parents whose children are in burnout. She names never assuming the child is not capable as the most important thing a parent can hold onto, and shares her own story as evidence: her parents could not have predicted she would become a neuropsychologist. She uses the phrase "do not get in front of your child" to mean: if they have something they want to do, let them fly. The child who is in their room with the lights off on Minecraft is telling you what they need. Meeting that need and staying regulated yourself is what moves them through burnout faster than fighting against it.Relevant ResourcesUnderstanding PDA — Free class with context on the nervous system disability framework and the dynamic, cumulative nature of activation Dr. Huffman builds on throughout this conversationBurnout — Free class with context for the red zone experience Dr. Huffman describes and the burnout recovery process for both children and parentsParadigm Shift Program — Our signature program where parenting for autonomy, safety, and connection is taught in fullUnlocking the PDA Brain by Dr. Jennifer Huffman — Dr. Huffman's book introducing the Neurodynamic Navigator System, written as a manual for understanding and supporting the PDA brainThe Able Center — Dr. Huffman's private neuropsychology practice in IllinoisThe Baby Fold — The Illinois nonprofit where Dr. Huffman serves as Vice President of Clinical Operations, specializing in trauma and higher support needs neurodivergent childrenBeyond Behaviors by Mona Delahooke — Mentioned by Dr. Huffman for understanding what is happening beneath the behavior in neurodivergent childrenDr. Huffman is also a board member of PDA North America.

Send us Fan MailWhat if closing a PDA could be done at the bedside in under 10 minutes, without transporting a fragile preterm infant to the cath lab? Dr. Shyam Sathanandam, Chief of Cardiovascular Medicine at Nicklaus Children's Heart Institute, joins us to discuss the evolution of transcatheter PDA closure in extremely preterm infants. We cover how bedside procedures protect the most vulnerable neonates, which infants are most likely to benefit from closure, the learning curve and complication profile, and Dr. Sathanandam's vision of eventually training neonatologists to perform this procedure themselves.Dr. Shyam Sathanandam has consulting and compensation relationships with Abbott Laboratories and Medtronic, both relevant to topics discussed in this episode.Support the showAs always, feel free to send us questions, comments, or suggestions to our email: nicupodcast@gmail.com. You can also contact the show through Instagram or Twitter, @nicupodcast. Or contact Ben and Daphna directly via their Twitter profiles: @drnicu and @doctordaphnamd. The papers discussed in today's episode are listed and timestamped on the webpage linked below.Enjoy!

This episode is an interview with my husband, Jake, about his path from well-founded skepticism of Pathological Demand Avoidance to fully changing his parenting to support our two PDA sons, and how that has helped all three of them.This conversation is for parents who aren't sure about PDA, their partners who are, and everyone who has wondered what it actually looks like to shift the paradigm as the "non-lead" parent. Jake talks about the enforcer role he played, dreading coming home from work, what brought him to shift his perspective, and how he took action to change his relationships with his sons.Key Takeaways Why Non-Lead Parents Lag and Why That Is Not a Deficiency | 00:10:01 Jake explains that his skepticism about pathological demand avoidance came from the same place as his desire to be a good father: wanting his son to be okay long after he was gone. He names the specific experience of not being present enough during the day to witness what Casey was witnessing, the cognitive dissonance of a child who could race through Halloween trick-or-treating and then suddenly be unable to walk, and the ease with which behaviors that look manipulative can be written off as such. He is clear that lagging does not make a parent deficient. It makes them human.What the Enforcer Role Actually Felt Like | 00:24:12 Jake describes placing himself in the role of the disciplinarian and enforcer when Cooper was young, trying strict and punitive approaches consistently enough to know they were not working. He reflects on the moments when Cooper would submit, and how even those felt awful because he was a grown adult overpowering a four-year-old. He names the specific appeal of the pathological demand avoidance approach as not just intellectual but personal: he did not want to be that kind of dad, and the relational damage it was doing to his connection with Cooper was undeniable.Dreading 5PM and the Second Arrow | 00:43:44 Jake describes a period when he went from counting down the hours to the end of the workday to dreading them, knowing he was walking back into a home where the kids were dysregulated, Casey was stretched to her limit, and there was no joy. He names the second arrow clearly: feeling like a dad who dreads his own family, and then feeling guilty for that. He offers this not as a confession but as something he suspects many non-lead parents are sitting with quietly.The Trampoline Commitment and What It Built | 00:44:23 Jake shares a concrete example of how he found a way into connection with Cooper during burnout: committing to saying yes every time Cooper asked to go on the trampoline, even though the activity involved Cooper lying there while Jake jumped for twenty minutes. He frames it honestly as work, not fun fatherhood. But he also describes how, when his legs gave out and he lay down next to his son and started pointing at clouds, the small moments of connection began to accumulate. This type of commitment, he says, may be available to other parents who work full days and only have evenings.Vulnerability With Other Dads and the Masculinity Frame | 00:29:46 Jake reflects on coaching Cooper's tackle football team and the specific difficulty of needing other coaches to understand that Cooper's meltdowns were not a measure of his commitment or character, while knowing that a full explanation of Pathological Demand Avoidance would not land. He names the fear of judgment, and the discomfort of demonstrating vulnerability in a context that did not historically make space for it. He frames the masculine enforcer archetype as a stereotype that most men do not actually identify with but feel bound by because breaking it is a risk.Relevant ResourcesUnderstanding PDA — Free class with the foundational context that Jake describes eventually coming to through lived experienceBurnout — Free class relevant to the burnout phases with both Cooper and William that Jake discusses throughoutParadigm Shift Program — Our signature program where Jake hosts three live sessions specifically for non-lead parents

1. Hulu ‘Get Real' Event Recap (24:21) 2. Josh Allen Praises His 'Rockstar' Wife Hailee Steinfeld as He Opens Up About Balancing Football and Being a New Dad (PEOPLE) (46:08) 3. Alex Cooper, Husband Skip Team Meeting After Behavior Complaints (Bloomberg) (48:57) 4. Nikki Glaser Sent Flowers to Everyone She Made Fun of at Golden Globes. Leonardo DiCaprio Sent Her 3 Baskets of Pasta in Return (PEOPLE) (59:48) 5. Lewis Hamilton gets handsy with Kim Kardashian in PDA-packed beach date (Page Six) (1:05:17) The Toast with Jackie (@JackieOshry) and Claudia Oshry (@girlwithnojob) ⁠The Toast Patreon ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Toast Merch ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Girl With No Job by Claudia Oshry ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Camper & The Counselor⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Lean In⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

1. Alix Earle seemingly sends pointed message to Alex Cooper with song choice in new pole dancing video (Page Six) (21:40) 2. ‘Summer House' star Kyle Cooke reacts to ex Amanda Batula's Yankees game PDA with West Wilson (Page Six) (29:57) 3. Taylor Frankie Paul shares personal ‘ugly parts' of ‘healing' after domestic dispute with ex Dakota Mortensen (Page Six) (40:22) 4. Coachella Weekend 2 Recap (52:26) 5. Anne Hathaway Is PEOPLE's World's Most Beautiful Cover Star — That's All! (PEOPLE) (1:03:15) The Toast with Jackie (@JackieOshry) and Claudia Oshry (@girlwithnojob) ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Toast Patreon ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Toast Merch ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Girl With No Job by Claudia Oshry ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Camper & The Counselor⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Lean In⁠⁠⁠ Disclaimer: Yasso awarded as product coupons. No purchase necessary. Open to 50 US/DC, 18+. Ends 11:59pm ET 4/30. Rules: yasso.com/TOAST. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices