Boozy Tunes

Discussed in this episode: Take Me Home for Christmas by Dan and Shay

Part 3 of our Christmas Special, we're extremely drunk. Discussed in this episode: It's Not Christmas Til Somebody Cries by Carly Rae Jepsen and Quarantine Christmas by John Lindahl

We discuss easily the worst Christmas song we've ever heard; Naughty List by Liam Payne and Dixie D'Amelio.

We discuss a couple of our favorite pop punk Christmas covers on part one of our four part Holiday extravaganza!

We discuss "Prisoner" by Miley Cyrus and Dua Lipa and how it's kinda boring.

Get ready to get spooky!

Kara finally gets to fangirl about one of her fave artists.

We discuss Shawn Mendes' new debut single "Wonder" and it makes Kara really mad.

TW: EATING DISORDERS We discuss Ashton Irwin's new single "Skinny Skinny," and our own demons in the process of loving our own bodies. We also discuss how lyrically and conceptually this is miles away from any 5SOS album.

We discuss "Blueberry Eyes" by MAX and talk about how soothing Bossa Nova is, and how jazz makes Kara think of a Nordstrom.

We pit two emo legends against each other in a battle of wills and the title to best pop punk song of the early 2000's.

We discuss "Dynamite" by BTS and how catchy and poppy and good it is. We're maybe BTS stans now?

We discuss "Hard on Yourself" by Charlie Puth and Blackbear and boil it down to lazy, lazy songwriting.

We discuss "Experience" by Victoria Monét and Khalid and how f*ckin' good it is. It's incredible.

One white and one mixed girl give an incomplete history of black music in honor of African American Music Appreciation Month and the Black Lives Matter movement. Support the cause here.Artwork from this video.

We discuss X by the Jonas Brothers feat. KAROL G.

We discuss your friend and mine, FRND's new song 'Champion.' Featuring FRND himself for a telephone interview!

Analyzing Ariana Grande and Justin Bieber's new collaboration "Stuck With U." Kara yells about it.

We discuss Doja Cat's hit songs and the use of Tik Tok in her career.

We discuss how frickin' perfect Dua Lipa's sophomore album is.

We have some hard takes on "I'm Ready" by Sam Smith and Demi Lovato.

An overview of all of our favorite One Direction songs!

A dive into Liar by Camila Cabello.

Trying a new mini format! Tell us what you think!

We talk about: nostalgia for pop-punk music, haircuts, the love of music, the radio industry, and noises.

We talk about: celebrity culture, being bullied, enunciating, having a song mean nothing, and confusing narratives.

We talk about: The Grammy Awards!!!!! (Spoilers included.)

We talk about: folky influences, Ryan Tedder, Valentine’s Day marketing, being bitter about love, writing pet peeves, Sophie Turner, Ashley’s obsession, 50’s riffs, youtube engagement, billboard charts.

We talk about: mentioning Hailey Baldwin’s private parts a few too many times, poor sampling, horse care, just saying genitals, the state of music business, desperately trying to reign in Ashley, Kara knocks over her microphone, being mad about rich people.

It's the most wonderful time of the year; hosted by Kara - who killed Santa, and Ashley the red nosed reindeer, join us as we analyze even more of our favorite Christmas songs for your listening pleasure.

A comprehensive review of “Fine Line” by Harry Styles.

We talk about: Mr. Bublé, the sonic disaster of Ashley trying to open a bottle next to the mic, Taylor Swift’s driver, StATiC, loose rhymes, eight Christmases, poor tuning and the idea of shame, Ashley’s Christmas Fantasy, Kara loves barns, a farm in your brain, Ashley embarrasses Kara for eight straight minutes, being all the Boyz II Men, bells, we are just so mean to Liam, lack of evolution, Harry Styles reinventing himself, Ashley sings Mistletoe, bad pick up lines, and e-boys.

We talk about: Coca Cola, Kara loves Hozier, Taylor vs. Scooter, shady tactics, weaponizing victimhood, business vs morality, being a woman in this industry, Harry writing about his exes, the dumbest thing you could ever do, consuming people’s emotions, Shawmila again, using your love life as a marketing tool is gross, a false narrative for tiny children, bad kisses, Elon Musk is very gross to look at but it’s cool cuz he’s rich?, who do we think Niall is dating?, blasting the Grammy’s, a bumper sticker for your horse, a lot of women being nominated, snubbing hip hop artists.

We talk about: screaming children, Benny Eyelash, famous people don’t keep your gifts, mullets, des-gust-eng, bad ass lessons from Billie, choral training, sound of the week, Billie and Finny: the dream team, friendship in the age of social media, lost friends, straight tequila, the drunkest Kara’s ever been, Kara doesn’t trust Finneas, intentional ambiguity, the McElroy’s, the desire for fame, Ashley gets vulnerable, Ashley and Kara’s history, family dynamics, lessons in harmony, Kara sings the wrong words, hate mail, Kara just wants to sing, knowing that people are people, send us pictures of your dog, we cry about produce.

We talk about: The second most important member of One Direction, Ashley’s serial number, Kara sings ’Tequila,’ Niall’s little leprechaun legs, One Direction’s best performance, how to meet the boy himself, redundancy and lazy songwriting, Kara’s not great at writing when she’s drunk, 5sos Karaoke, principles of repetition and familiarity, melodic structures and hooks, the one chord, Diplo hacking the Jonas Brothers’ Instagram, Twin Peaks, the Von Trappe family, Kara’s dad, the cockroach problem in the previous apartment and the subsequent “roach story,” sweet 1D memories.

We talk about: praise be to god that the boy is back, this song taking me on a date, literal perfection, good words and also bad words, the rest of the 1D boys not making special music, “Uniquely Harry,” the new Mick Jagger, Niall golfs, anticipation as promotion, a wet music video, we fangirl over Harry for a full hour, we summarize the 1D Energy, we wish the best for Louis, a 1960’s Mustang, Harry Style’s encouragement website, getting new tattoos, theory it up with Kara, major and minor keys, a non-diatonic major chord, Kara screams, taking psychic damage, pretending to be professional, “Do,” the quarter system, the tender year of 2011, buying khakis, boycotting short songs, marketing sexuality, feeling better about being bi, imitating Harry’s voice, and singing Celine Dion.

We talk about: Charlie Puth sucking, again, Kara’s Chili, the Hella Mega Tour featuring all our favorite bands, Safeco Forever, Rivers Cuomo being a nice boy, nose bleeds, Ash being a messy bitch, burping, the new retro, Greta Van Fleet just being awful like… so awful, a dumpster fire, the Robert Plant scream, Watt being the best Led Zeppelin boy, our one brain cell, Kara Jack Black’s for a second, the McElboys, we falsify Rivers’ age, an Old Drake Bell, Aslan, a very upsetting Instagram post, Turkish Delight, Ash makes enough jokes to kill Kara, Van Halen songs Kara knows, Valen Halen songs being repetitive, fall songs vs. spring songs, not taking a bath, Camp Rock, “wow she’s really good,” Demi Lovato and her rise to health, we get heated about High School Musical, Disney Channel movies, and Buddy Holly.

We talked: the disaster that was Lilly Singh’s live audio, Charlie Puth as a college student, Ash is a beefcake, it’s “not a single,” Charlie’s high school fantasy, too short songs, the media circus I guess, the Charlie Puth shrine that’s across the wall from the copy machine, a brief note on Camila Cabello and why no one takes her seriously, the Pirates of the Caribbean theme song, poor narrative construction, lockers and locker rooms, a big theory lesson on: tonics, chords, suspensions, and resolutions, letting the little guys win, whispering, teen pregnancy, shitty white boys, Kara’s high school experience, pursuing your own happiness, Nick Jonas being an asshole, Charlie Puth is Ashley’s soulmate, whether Charlie Puth is a dick or just sounds like a dick, Ash drags Watt and Kara gets mad about it.

Forgive the mic issues this week. We talk about: Kara needs a sippy cup, charging your crystals, Midsommar and joining a cult, how amazing Kristen Stewart is in the Charlie’s Angels trailer, a weird idea for a collab, ding ding dingles, truly awful lyrics, just one of the seven rings, filling out your vocals with different frequencies, appropriate pet names, courtesy laughs, Ash being a Disney channel junkie, what happened to Harper, the Magic Show Disney movie, our fall movie recommendations, Shaniacs vs Boogaras, this very confusing narrative, War Wolves, Halloween songs, we are Lana Stans, this impeccable bridge, collaborations for clout, sweaty, and Kara’s deepest trauma.

We talk about: lighting incense but badly, stanning the House of Intuition, the introduction of a drinking game, Post Malone being just so cute, Cody Ko and Post being buds, cuffing season, a small high five, dreamy lo-fi guitar stylings, Kara being a bigger Post Stan than we all expected, a song standing up without production, key changes, the word ‘Sauvignon,’ Post’s very good voice, “Ghost Malone,” It Chapter 2, my friend Trevor, our friend the rhythm section, never dating a drummer, nightmare roommate stories, overly protective significant others, emotional vulnerability, Barefoot Moscato, FRND’s new EP, the rule of threes, would our parents approve of our new boyfriend Post, checking our astrological compatibility, Gemini Venus, the Y/N life, 8 horses out of 10.

We talk about: those poor 5sos boys and their sad relationships, modes, the Stranger Things theme song, Kara’s lack of bartending skills and snapping skills, being tired of the same old stories, that tasty riff, yelling, writing good verses, teeth and also vaginas, our high school proms, the boys and girls we had big dumb crushes on, sleepover talk about our pasts, Britney’s best hits, we crack the code on the writers of Teeth, Shut Up and Drive, good words in songs, giving Ali Tamposi some love, a weird little Teeth dream, shirts on shirts, bad karaoke of Senorita, radio secrets, men being gatekeepers, Who Hurt You, Small Creatures, and getting really sleepy.

We talk about: Kara poorly singing early 1D cuts, the inability to be a hype man, Bruno Mars’ real name, meta pinky ring jokes, nicknames for Kara’s sister, tall man energy, elementary school planet jokes, tiny rockets, Inglewood’s finest shoes, the definition of “power f*ck,” a dramatic reading of 24k Magic, Delilah on the radio, a PSA about cocaine, Ashley is deeply sacrilegious, Brendon Urie’s vocal range, the burden of technology, the excellent service Sweetwater provides, and Kara not holding her alcohol.

We talk about: Sangria obviously, energy over quality, our lord and savior Shrek, Ashley being awful at impressions, burying the lede, Ed’s social aversion problem, Kara getting soft over solamente, Mediterranean dance trends, trying too hard, gorillas, Ash gives Kara a Spanish lesson, Ed Sheehan being a normal boy, One Direction bops, Noah Centineo, Zoolander, ASMR (as usual), and our favorite memes, feat. Ed Sheeran's unofficial PR spokesperson - Grace Bradford.

We talk about: Kara's shitty college roommate, music theory for dummies, every Chainsmokers' song, 'Hereditary', The Infamous Drew Taggert Twitter Scandal, Pitch Perfect being regressive, the study of rocks, loving various Andrews, Huff Post, the moral dilemma of the World War Joy tour, the question of DJ's being boring, The Chainsmokers Podcast, Kara getting very distressed about remixes, a Chainsmokers live show.

We talk about: Kara coughing until she dies, flat earthers, Shawn Mendes' kissing techniques, Kara's friends from high school, getting a nose job, yelling, being liberal for clout (again), kindergarten lyrics, pop music fluff, how mean media outlets can be, self-love in the context of getting someone to date you, the pursuit of a frog body, and the Sound of Music.

We talk about: the infamous Shawmila scandal, Stranger Things, being only kind of white, Earth Wind & Fire, cancel culture, being bad at speaking any languages, Camila's sex life?, the origin of Ooh La La, emojis, and bad karaoke.

We talk about: how much Kara loves her parents, being bullied in high school, our high school crushes, Post Malone's food choices, hooks on hooks on hooks, how much we love One Direction, the marketability of nostalgia, toxicity in k-pop stans, and Jonas Brothers having beautiful wives.

We talk about being a hipster til we die, the female experience, Poison Ivy, Ashley's childhood bedroom, dating apps, being liberal just for the clout, pouring one out for Jesus, Cody Ko's legacy, and pop punk concerts.

We talk about Charlie Puth's B-Sides, how no one can write a bridge, the power of stan-girls, water-based music videos, the Chainsmoker's ability to ruin careers, and the concept of air.