Border Boss

Ever notice how an old rope can change a quiet pond? Or what a baseball card adds to a bicycle? Or what fireflies do for a lazy summer evening? It's kind of like the taste of Country Time Lemonade. So while there's time, take the long way home, run through a sprinkler, and relax with some good old fashioned CAP'N JAZZ.

Suppose I were a dead body in Australia... how would I go about ordering a sandwich? Grinder? Wedge? Butty? Sandie? Grant a dying sandwich fan's last request and check out HIS HERO IS GONE. I am now realizing you think I'm punning on the word Hero, but I don't do puns, you scumbag. Apologize Now.

The entire state of Florida was original built by Walt Disney to support his bold new vision of the American future. An entire chain of once-sovereign island nations from the south Atlantic no longer exist because Walt needed all their mud and alligators to realize his hot concept. From that artificial hellscape came 90s hardcore's most confusing natty dreads, BLOODCLO... I mean BLOODLET. Post your pronunciation in the chat.

The nation is losing its guts while instictively eating leaves so what better time to explore the SPLATTERY paint and RUNNY letters adorning the legendary original GUT INSTINCT record cover which we have thoughtfully not included here today. What do you expect everything to be DUMPED on you for free?

Are polarity and polarization the same thing? Normally I'd ask claude but I'm behind on payments because of the economy. Is it magnetic or just annoying to squeeze a population without offering them healthcare or affordable chalupas in return? One would think the answer is obvious but it's hard to think when me and 4 bros are trying to outrun a fantasy killer asymmetrically. Post your fave BROTHER'S KEEPER longsleeve in the chat.

In this episode we disrespect liminal situations. We look at the haunted empty room and spruce it up with collectible extreme metal statues. We revisit forgotten moments in music and repopulate them with teen-sleaze crisis actors. We stick a scalpel into the grey featureless hide of 2000s grind and appreciate the surprisingly marbled meat within. Join us in our empty yellow home and dine on Rochester's richly fatted KALIBAS.

As citizens of the world with a mission to promote equality and international cooperation, we're here to consume very expensive yet narratively hollow overseas products AND the most dirt cheap homegrown entertainment available even if it's just a very locally popular bird. But ICE NINE weren't locally popular - they were so well know that our local hero Kurt Vonnegut wrote about them!

Come with us to explore fruit and its meaning, tone and its qualities, height and its place, and magnets, how do they work? Now I'm starting to wonder if some algorithm is about to penalize me for not Q-Bert censoring WACO FUCK.

This is an episode about fast, stripped down music and you know your boys only like slow complicated things so we brought in a fast, stripped down ringer, TYLER HAMMER from the KINGS OF PUNK podcast to be our... uh... what's a non-sketchy word for a guide up the mountain? Oh speaking of mountains here's DOOM.

Ain't nothin' wrong if you wanna do the Club all night long. First Seven Inch Club, that is. I'm saying join our Patreon even though we included some Patreon cracklin's in here for free. Until then, belly up to the cosmic metal buffet as an appetizer to Western Mass's most inflamed main course, RED REACTION.

Today we are trying to overdose on time - desperately trying to shove the past, present and future into our bodies by force, walking down memory lane while sprinting away from cognitive decline, simultaneously old and young at once, comparing Larry Davids while shopping for dolls. The soundtrack is an alternate universe split from 1999's THE CLAY PEOPLE and ILL REMEMBERED.

This week the price is right, but the vibe is wrong. We're just trying to check out some records and Natalie Merchant won't shut the hell up. Trouble me no further, Natalie, because the night belongs to me. Hey! SUPPRESSION SWING! Give ‘em what they want!

A Cubs baseball to the skull - for that you'd expect to pay 34.99 in stores but I'll tell you what... let's turn into into cash. Every caller that calls in, every hand that goes up... your cost... 14.99 SOLD Next up for bid - deluxe European import... luxury melodic expresso hardcore from FLAME ON - Get up and call in now!!

The world moves quickly and if you don't take time to catch up on the Avatar series, the Devil Wears Prada 2 will have come and gone before you even know it and the whole world my pass you by. Say while I have you here, have you heard the good news about semen grasshop... beg your pardon, ma'am I meant Sperm Crickets?

Today we are doing our best to stay free of the devil's dust but our families are starving and these collectible cards aren't getting any cheaper. Let's see if the printshop pros in INKWELL have any useful advice.

This week we expand our operation into brick and mortar and sleep and sports as we drizzle a li'l taste of groove-honey all over our revolvers before letting the barrel blow to the sounds of LA GRITONA.

This week we fight over who gets the apple, who gets the fudge, and who gets in the ring with WOMEN. Let's see how many Blade Runners we can count while holding our breath because of the pheromones. Once we finish all that, we can finally chill to some music without all those loud guitars for once with MACHINE THAT FLASHES.

This episode is about USA USA USA! where we eat Sushi from robots USA USA USA! and celebrate leftist sports memorabilia USA USA USA! and listen to nonstop explosion metal from Hungary USA USA USA! Mutassatok egy kis szeretetet az arcoknak a DAWNCORE bandából! USA USA USA!

We're eating taco salads, watching cheese commercials and sneaking into music festivals with predictable sewage mismanagement so you know we got that time machine firing on all six. In Canada our six might only get you four but each one of the four has their own wiki because it's the BERGENFIELD FOUR.

We're back and it's a good news / bad news kinda week. Kinda weak! Luckily we came armed with a pit-ready slapfest provided your Onkyo rig has an 11 band EQ to fix things up just a touch. If so, point your flying faders at Connecticut's 2nd or 3rd favorite sons DISMAY.

Bros talk about sports then visit Albany's sister city of Pittsfield, MA for the misleading aesthetics of THREE FIFTEEN.

Shout-outs, Call-outs, Tap-outs, Fade-outs, we're on the outs tonight. Nothing can fade us, bro. Not politics, not larger men, not new babies, nothing. We're so jammed that we went back to England again. We just keep doing this. Check out STALINGRAD.

We're not alone anymore. After all these years of self doubt and questioning our place in the universe, we finally achieve communion and full release with our ancient friend Shelby Lermo. Together we will think about sleeping outdoors accidentally and earning the right to injectables while we consider the music of Oakland's own 1332 (aka EL DOPA (aka ELDOPA (aka THIRTEEN THIRTY TWO)))

What do you collect? Is it normal sized foodstuffs in miniature? Wow we have that in common. Do you also regret your interests? Because I do. Listen carefully because today's episode contains a unique opportunity to earn free physical media. Don't be a wimp, send in your guess. The worst that could happen is you get toenails. People really win with FSIC. Hey when you get a minute, check out ŻEGOTA real quick.

This episode we can-can survive the perils of 2026 by never staring into the abyss of ancient productivity software and only strictly dreaming of rockets, both exploding and not exploding. Meet us deep in the heart of Texas where we'll check out a vegan potluck and see WORLD BURNS TO DEATH. Sike, nobody can afford food anymore.

This thing of ours has some guidelines but you know what? It also has some freedoms and it's time for us, the Presidents of our thing, to observe and document those freedoms. So from now on, within a very limited set of guard rails, you can eat bad tacos and record bad vocals. Totally unrelated to both American freedom and punk guard rails, presentamos una banda britanica hard-core, TRIBUTE.

Dirty... and stinkin'... I got the F.L.U. and I got D.R.U.N.K. and it's the end of the worst year in living memory until next year so let's ring it out with an exchanging of dares, sidearms, and intensely scrutinizing the dazzling cut, clarity, and carat of STORM THE TOWER's hardcore hope diamond.

Listen it's christmas and I'm not working on some description all night. I have stuff to do. Just go to our IG and post your deepest and most private christmas wish. Make it gnarly and legally troubling. After that stop back here and listen to us talk about the boys of HAYWIRE.

Sometimes words have meaning and sometimes we name things on purpose so you know where to keep them and how to use them... like cat food is for cats and the toilet stick is for private use and dungeon synth is meant to be in a dungeon. Anytime we test the boundaries of these things, the room stinks for weeks. So wash up because it's time to review ANOMIE from Texas.

The dolls of the past become the puppets of the future as we get lost in the fog of wa... I mean etiquette surrounding the medium by which we consume our punk dose. Maybe we should ask the prescient goblins of Newcastle's EBOLA since they had it all figured out 30 years ago.

The holidays are exhausting, snow is exhausting, poor exhaust ratio is exhausting... even when you have access to full sound, this time of year can beat you down. Imagine if you DIDN'T? Imagine if you had to shovel all this snow and Cleveland's own HOMOSTUPIDS only left you about a voicemail's worth of stuff to listen to?

FIXED UPLOAD (HOPEFULLY): Travel as far as you want. Germany, Iceland, Sweden, Siberia... No matter how much reindeer meat and surstromming you eat with the locals, Mom and OVERCAST will always tell you "we have melodic death metal at home".

Today we take advice from the past and present masters... how to prevent onstage bowel troubles, offstage transmissible illness, and in-situ brainrot. But once the lights go out, the boys of DEF CHOICE pass out some magazines they found in the woods and the real party begins.

One more week in the gamer seat - now you're playing with power. Even in the library we're only about games. But you know who doesn't play? Swedish technical submission grapplers SMACKDOWN. JO-HAN... GET THE TABLES!

Doctors and unemployment counsellors hate us for this one weird trick where we leverage the very lowest form of nepotism to simply sidestep the entire rat race. It's so simple, why don't you do it? We already lost interest in your problems because because we're steady gaming. Exit 8, Platform 8, Crazy 8s... mere stepping stones on our mission to catch all of San Diego's most collectible boys, CRIME DESIRE.

We are ready to answer for our decisions. We are ready to admit that not all our choices are the good ones and that not all fitness influencers are created equal. We are ready to face the fact that non-linearity and the hollow shell of past convenience can yield mixed results. Maybe it's time for you to do the same. Maybe we could all take some cues from the youth driven passions and grievances of DRAGNET. Or no wait, hold on...

Today we speak of old men insisting on the pursuits of young men - gaming like young men, marching in the streets like young men, lip syncing like young men. But I'll tell you what's really old is pennies. First of all they are brown which is the oldest color of money and nobody knows why we have them. Did you know West Virginia named their finest band after the guy on the penny? LINCOLN, I guess?

It's time once again to start thinking of ways to be more spooky - whether it's communing with suburban witches, collecting low grade serial killers, or waiting to be summoned from your lair in the sewers. And now I see by my shibboleth timepiece that we're just about ready to wrap up our absolutely thorough audit of these 50 states with Louisiana's WE NEED TO TALK.

This week we are wearing only black. Not in mourning, but because we must walk in the footsteps of the goatfathers who came before us in respecting small businesses, cultural foodstuffs, and the chain of provenance of the swords of America. As luck would have it, you can also wear black when slamming to the music of Arkansas such as BURNED UP BLED DRY.

This week we don broad hats and cravats to pass as riverboat gamblers en route to america's most culturally productive delta, hoping the lawless highwayman strategy of putting an entire paycheck on red yields a good result. If not, at least we have the paint-peeling shriek of Mississippi's own ATOMIC JEFFERSON to keep us occupied in our cells.

This week we think about fish made of stone, snakes borne of a toddler's screen time, and the warlike tendencies of nostalgia streamers before finally solving some lifelong mysteries by checking out the hot North Dakota (maybe) sounds of Fargo(maybe)'s own GODHEADSILO.

Gang, it's just storytime this week. You've never heard so many goddamn stories. Plus we're RAPIDLY concluding our survey if American Hardcore by chalking up another challenging state. Perhaps you know these fellas from Mt Rushmore. No the other Mt Rushmore. Wait have you ever even been to South Dakota? STATE OF THE UNION has.

If you thought we were old before, check out today's episode where we discuss the finality and hopelessness of hospice and the sweet sounds of Sting as misinterpreted by booger punks. Eventually we find lots and lots to think about from Philadelphia metallic hardcore pioneers DARE 2 DEFY.

We're back from a very relaxing break to ask very tense and personal questions to famous touring artist and 3-time FSIC guest SHELBY COBRAS. By the unbelievable power of three, we turn the world of podcasting on its head discussing Korn, occult veganism, and the unacceptable place-names of Australia before interrogating some of the rarest death metal on earth from the pursed kissy lips of Vietnam's DISGUSTED.

Why don't you grab a seat there buddy. We need to talk about something and it's kind of important. It's about Mucky Pup. I know, I know... you know all about it from the kids at school. I get it. But we just want to make sure that your first time is safe and... what do you mean it's not your first time? Well did you use a flexi?

This week we are all taking a plane ride to see if any carnies will give us a body massage or at least let us bum an exotic cigarette before putting down our fried oreo pickle poutine long enough to book a train to Oklahoma to catch at least one of the 11 zippy tracks from the presciently non-libertarian THE

Steps away from the finish line on the ROAD to 200, we celebrate the internet past, the internet future, and sophisticated metacommentary on how the internet will be used in the data-beast wars. Maybe the only solution is to retreat to the deep frontier of interior Alaska where all we have to worry about is the gas wars and how to score a room in that one building where everyone lives. Luckily THE CYNICS are statewide nonstop for the last 45 years (we assume).

It's been a rough week and we are rough boys like the sexy legs in the ZZ Top "Rough Boys" video but not like the Pete Townshend Rough Boys because that is still sketchy no matter what. This week we wade through blood and bleed some more on our quest to dance all our firearms away with the pulsing singular beat of (sort of) Connecticut's XO MANOWAR I mean MAGNUS ROBOT FI- I mean XO SKELETONS.

This week one of us is humbled by the work of a powerful lesser man while the other is inspired by a powerful super man but both of us are on a convergent, patron-demanded path to learn about some 2-week iron men and the work they did as iron boys in Connecticut's own FAULTLINE.

Don't worry, everyone. We got this. We are hard at work assembling an elite, throbbing wall of well tanned leftist muscle to turn the tides of history back toward mundane center-right capitalism where we still can't afford to go the hospital. We also combat hardcore AI hoaxes and astroturfing and that's the sum total of hardcore chat this episode because today we're here for... something else. Ladies and germs, aloha from THE DAMBUILDERS.

This week we peer into our own black mirrors and find that hell peers back. French hell. What French hell is this, you ask? Why it's the all you can eat, buttery lobsteriffic hell of Maine's de facto fastcore kings OUTBREAK!