Build-A-Band

I don’t know which one of you ratted us out to the animal rights activists, but now that they’re on to us, we’ve been forced to flee Build-a-Band HQ in search of greener pastures. Actually, browner pastures, because we’re seeking asylum beneath the surface in the domain of the mole king. As they say in […]

We’re proud to announce that the scientists and engineers at Build-a-Band have finally done it. They’ve completed a device that allows two individuals to completely switch bodies. The only caveat? They both have to be music podcast hosts. Happy April Fools Day! As part of the Great Podcast Switcheroo of 2019, we’re bringing you an […]

Imagine you woke up one day to find your life completely changed. You might feel like a butterfly emerging from its cocoon, or a person living their first day in witness protection. You might feel like an unbroken bar of staples at an office supply store liquidation sale. You might feel like God’s perfect drumsticks […]

In a world where Beck can still win a Grammy, there’s no time to serve your debt to society. Not while the music industry is more ripe for exploitation than we ever could have imagined. Taylor’s busting out of podcast prison, and we’ve got the daring escape recorded for your listening enjoyment! Between what should […]

Build-a-Band has never been this democratic, or this exploitative! This week, we’ve got just the social media challenge to help you build a bouncing baby band of your very own. But you may want to act fast because if our math is correct (don’t @ us, we studied), we don’t have long before the fourth […]

Build-a-Band is back, and there ain’t no deep ocean valley low enough to keep us from getting to the next animal-themed lo-fi sensation. Tentacles? Gooshing? Check and double check. Support of the oceanographic community? We’ll get back to you on that. For now, we’ve got plenty of new signees to sink your teeth into. Try […]

It’s a New Year’s resolution come true! In this very special episode of Build-a-Band, saddle up for the world premiere of Horseplay, a horse-themed lo-fi hip-hop experience, available now on our Bandcamp. Using human-horse telepathy, we take you behind the scenes with visionary artist Stable Genius to break down the atonal sampling harmony and cronch optimization […]

Get up, come on get down with the Christmas! This holiday season, Build-a-Band has all the jingles and jangles you need–and then some extras we couldn’t anticipate. We’re here to stuff your stocking with gingerbread house shows, special Santa ops, and a bro band to keep your family holiday party inclusive. But maybe it’s all […]

“If everybody had glaciers / across the U-S-A / then everybody’d be skurfin’ / but global climates change.” True to Build-a-Band form, we’re taking lemons and making lemonade in the form of a new brand of surf rock that can only grow in popularity as the ice caps shrink in size. Whether we grew the […]

If you’re still working through Thanksgavin leftovers like us, Build-a-Band has just the new episode for you. This week is stuffed with Turkey workout tunes, a side of well-rehearsed holiday hits, and for dessert, we bring a musical twist to the retail battlegrounds of the ever-elongating Black Friday shopping weekend. Not to mention our freshly-patented […]

There’s a band in the whale at the club in the hole in the bottom of the sea! This week on Build-a-Band, there are only two things deeper than the unexplored reaches of the ocean: our commitment to taking back the throne as kweens of the animal kingdom and Jeff Bezos’ blowhole obsession. From a […]

We conquered all kinds of Scary Monsters (and Super Creeps) this Halloween, but can our autumnal hopes save us from our greatest foe yet, the Christmas Creep? Find out in this week’s episode of Build-a-Band as we bid a fond farewell to Fall with the help of an applecore hip-hop nymph, a band of jazz-metal […]

It’s been a stressful year for business, and what better way to get away from the pressures of the economy than to move into this creaky old colonial in the New England countryside? That’s why Build-a-Band is relocating, creepy mirror-writing and spectral screams be damned! As we search these dark and winding halls for the […]

In baseball, three strikes means you’re out, but here at Build-a-Band HQ, three strikes is just what we call Monday. While we do our best to hide from labor negotiations and avoid the consequences of our gross mismanagement, enjoy this compilation episode, gathering some of our favorite past bits. 1:44 – Chrismas Time Is Here […]

Fall is here, and the spice must flow! Here at Build-a-Band HQ, we can’t get enough of this sweet orange stuff, and that goes double for the intrepid crew of aged rock stars we’ve launched on the near-lightspeed farewell tour of a lifetime. Your grandkids’ lifetime, that is. Beyond harnessing the power of relativity to […]

As we kick off our second year of Build-a-Band, we’re revisiting some of the bedrock economic principles that guide our investments and product development. For example: sex sells, and our forecasts for the next fiscal year are looking hotter than ever. From spicy stage attire to the suggestive second career of a beloved children’s band, […]

It’s been a full year since we started this business with nothing but our bear hands and our vision for an entirely new music industry. One that values artistic courage in the face of bureaucracy, one that pushes the envelope in spite of tradition, and most importantly, one that won’t funnel profits to managers and […]

Once more unto the spacetime breach, dear friends! Due to some extenuating health circumstances, we couldn’t bring you a new episode of Build-a-Band this week, so we hope you enjoy this look back at some classic goofs from episodes 11 through 15. 02:15 – Chipmunk’s Paradise | 03:23 – Communicate This! |07:28 – Palms For […]

We interrupt this regularly scheduled episode of Build-a-Band to bring you breaking news: the promised hour of Hozier’s return is upon us at last. As we seek to interpret for you the signs of nature surrounding the release of his latest EP, we also bring word of a bubbly new experimental “pop” band (wink), a […]

Hello Ozzfest! Thanks for having us this year, and while we’ve got your attention, let us take this opportunity to remember that nothing is more hardcore than personal responsibility and preventative medicine. We may not remember how we got to this week’s episode of Build-a-Band, but that won’t stop us from discovering a practical application […]

We may never know why God made birds so nasty, but in this week’s episode of Build-a-Band, we do learn an important lesson in personal responsibility when Michael Bublé gets a little too jazzy and the consequences of our all-night barn raves finally catch up with us. Until the farmer shuts us down, we’re here to […]

Step right up and get your ticket for the greatest show on earth! Build-a-Band is back with a spectacular circus of sounds guaranteed to boggle even the most skeptical mind. Gaze on in astonishment as Carson Daly communes with a swarm of prescient, poptimist bees. Marvel at the man with the Radio head (but like…literally). […]

Get mad! You know what it takes to sell real estate? It takes a brass bandicoot to sell real estate. Or in our case, to Build a Band. Put the coffee down and join us for a (slightly abbreviated) new episode, bringing you the leads on a spacey soundtrack for your interstellar cruise and a […]

Do you ever felt like you just don’t fit in? Like the older folks in your Amish order just don’t get your newfangled homegrown dance music? Coming to theaters this summer, Build-a-Band brings you the heartwarming story of Adam, a Pennsylvania Dutchman who dances to his own barn-raising beat. In this week’s episode, get an […]

Whether you’re a lonely lounge-singing blowfish, a fine dwarven hip-hop duo, or a pair of dubiously literate tigers, we all have mountains to climb in this life–some metaphorical, and some all too real. In this week’s episode of Build-a-Band, we finally face our own mountain, a metaphor which here means being kidnapped by Spotify executives […]

In this week’s episode of Build-a-Band, Taylor tries to convert Chris to the Church of Ska, but their differences in theology (and fashion) prove to be irreconcilable, leaving them no other option but to BREAK UP forever. That, and Chris reveals an activation phrase that snaps Taylor out of the hypnotic comedy trance that made […]

Hold on a second–if it’s not your birthday, where did all these balloons and party games come from? On this week’s episode of Build-a-Band, the latest in drum machine technology allows us to sequence the musical genome of pixel art sprites, and it just might be hotter than Pictionary at your next slumber party. We’ve also […]

On this week’s episode of Build-a-Band, we’re rethinking our methods and aspirations. Why join the boring modern 1% when you can use deceptive concert marketing and experimental time travel technology to join the sexier ancient-er Roman 1%? If we can’t stop Ed Sheeran from magnetically stealing all the Grammys, can we at least trojan-horse our […]

With the world teetering on the brink of a trade war, it’s been a less-than-ideal economic week. Fortunately, here at Build-a-Band, we thrive on volatility and disruption! For this week’s episode, we’ve relocated our corporate headquarters to Mars, where regulations are as loose as the gravitational pull. Here we’re free to indulge in skate-prog solos, […]

Usually we’re all about sensations in the cultural sense, but this week’s episode of Build-a-Band is all physical, with a new line of products guaranteed to satisfy your senses. Enjoy soft ASMR jams in our proprietary anxiety-management vest, designed to bring you the relaxing rumble of a cat’s purr on demand. Hone your music taste […]

Like all great marketing minds, we at Build-a-Band spend a lot of time thinking about what’s #relatable to the young people of today. Is it starting a band with seven of your dwarf friends to really stick it to your stepmom? Is it vague-tweeting at corporations about battle royale rhythm games? Is it ASMR based on […]

It’s that warm, pollen-dusted time of year, and we’re all too excited to kickoff Build-a-Band’s first summer! To start with, we get our hands dirty with an original electronic narrative composition* to celebrate the sounds of the season, and create a digital speakeasy to serve our own signature summer cocktail. Join us under a shady […]

Ever have one of those nights where you want to hit the club without sacrificing the creeping sense of dread that comes from an impending deadline or slowly-approaching horror movie monster? Boy, have we got a funk subgenre for you. In this episode of Build-a-Band, we re-imagine Nile Rodgers classics for the anxious audience, ruin […]

The battle for the soul of meme culture rages on in boardrooms across America, and today, it finally hits us close to home here at Build-a-Band. In this episode, we bring you the tale of an ascendant band as they go from social media darlings to breakthrough corporate success story to disillusioned Lean Cuisine vaguepost […]

“You’re not hardcore (no you’re not hardcore) / unless you live hardcore (unless you live hardcore).” So reads the motto of Professor Xavier’s School of Rock, where it’s been said that the legend of the teenage mutant lizard person…was way hardcore. In this episode of Build-a-Band, super-powered angst calls for a super-powered high school band. […]

How can we describe our emotions at this catastrophe, or how delineate the wretch whom with such infinite pains and care we had endeavored to form? Her limbs were just out of proportion, and we had selected her bit rot as beautiful. Beautiful! Great God! In this episode of Build-a-Band, we dive headfirst into the […]

Happy Easter Fools Day! Build-a-Band’s extended spring break sabbatical continues with another week of time travel shenanigans. Get your predictions for the distant future of the music industry ready, because it’s time to see how they stack up against our scientists. Then, check out this compilation with some of our favorite pitches from the BAB […]

Chris is out sick this week, so in this episode, Taylor test drives the latest in potentially-dangerous Build-a-Band tech: a previously top-secret device that allows us to open a breach in spacetime and bring you a compilation of highlights from our first five episodes! Featuring: Unshaven Conclusions Smack My Cake Watery Pockets The Chewy Spaceman’s […]

Parents, are your kids suddenly getting mop top haircuts and working on their British accents? Are they a little too interested in the exact equipment used by the Beatles in their early years? It may be time to talk to your kids about playing in cover bands. Right now you may be thinking,  “my kids could […]

This episode of Build-a-Band has been made available through a Freedom of Information Act request, heavily redacted so as to protect means (*cough* telepathy *cough*) and sources (*wink* Tom Delonge *nudge*). Proceed with caution, shareholders, and use the information contained herein only with the utmost discretion. Shocking discoveries abound, from [REDACTED], the fourth state of […]

This week on Build-a-Band, a new social media video fad is born! Do you have what it takes to master the Cinnamon Ice Bucket Chopin Challenge*? Also in this episode, Chris announces her 2020 presidential run. She’s got the brains, the business savvy, access to the elusive Dino Bone Xylophone, and, if you believe conspiracy […]

Have you ever wondered why they REALLY stamp your hand at concerts? Have you ever thought maybe, just maybe, it was part of a secret blood pact that could change the course of your life forever and make YOU the new Billie Joe Armstrong? No other podcast is brave enough to ask these questions, and […]

Welcome to our Valentines Day sleepover special! Get ready to talk crushes, conspiracy theories, and capitalist jokes with Nick Goodrich, guitarist in Lindby and Raz-ul (son of Daz-ul) in Bombarded, a musical D&D podcast adventure. As our latest consultant, Goodrich helps us break love songs down to their most primitive state, manage aspiring sellouts, and develop […]

Wake up and smell the ‘nola! Welcome to Jimmy Buffett’s all new breakfast joint, with honey fresh from the bees, and fantastical fruits you’ve never even heard of. In this episode of Build-a-Band, we get back into the space-themed restaurant band scene, adapt Gremlins into a musical starring Eric Clapton, and make some very bad bass […]

Welcome aboard the good ship Build-a-Band! I hope you brought plenty of Dramamine for the voyage, because we’re at the mercy of the elements, and the music industry waters are choppier than ever. This week’s episode is guaranteed to make you vom, featuring youth ministry through noise music, a puzzling new medium that’s somehow even […]

We knew we couldn’t get away with it forever, and now it’s finally time to pay our debt to  musical society. After speaking the names of Marcus Mumford and his inscrutable Sons landed Chris in Twitter jail, we used her last phone call to bring you a new episode of Build-a-Band. This week, predictive text […]

And now for something completely different! While we take a week off to adjust our recording schedule, here’s a solo project in which Chris documents the soundtrack to her post-holiday drive back to school. Along the way, find out why we talk about Sufjan Stevens so much, how Muse inspires her to step outside her […]

New Year, New Build-A-Band! In this episode, we get down to administrative business, namely squaring up with the rowdy union of underpaid animal handlers and accountants we created in 2017. Even while we negotiate better compensation and benefits for our employees, we find the time to predict the hottest celebrity couple of 2018, use logo […]

He puts in work, and it’s all for the kids. Am I talking about Santa Claus, or DMX? Your honor, may it please the court, I’d like to leave the ladies, gentlemen, and nonbinary individuals of the jury with a final thought: have you ever seen Santa Claus and DMX in the same room? The […]

Necessity is the mother of invention, and on this episode of Build-a-Band, we NEED coffee DESPERATELY, leading us to invent some creative solutions. Like a new way to listen to music that also caffeinates you. It’s meant for your ears, but we can’t enforce where you put it. Oh, or a nostalgic coffee-themed punk band […]

Folks, here’s a story ’bout two podcast hosts who are not good at muppet impressions, but who ARE very committed to bringing children’s educational programming to the next level! In this episode of Build-a-Band, we delve into the musical possibilities of post-HBO Sesame Street, and recall Arnold Schwarzenegger’s greatest acting achievements (with orchestral accompaniment). Plus, […]