I'm Adopted, Now What?

We start off with our new❓Q+A segment, where our host answers questions that were submitted by YOU!

We start off with a new❓Q+A segment, where our host answers questions that were submitted by YOU!

We start off with a newly added Q+A segment, where our host answers questions that were submitted by YOU! Then, we meet Jeanie - the owner/operator of the Banh Mi Oi cafe in West Roxybury, MA. Our host got to ask Jeanie some juicy questions about what it's like to be an Asian woman owner in today's social climate, how COVID has affected her business and the food industry at large, and how she feels about the future, as a female Asian restauranteur. After, join us for a quick reflection on today's episode where host, Liza, demonstrates how she breaks it down. From taking notes and active listening to unpacking the psychology behind each interview and how she, herself, processes these conversations, Liza gives insight into what you could take away from the episode too. Trust us, you won't want to miss out on this one, so listen now! LINKS: Interested in being a guest on the show?? https://calendly.com/imadoptednowwhat/podcast-guest Follow us on Instagram and Facebook for all the latest news, updates, & more! https://www.instagram.com/imadopted.podcast/ https://www.facebook.com/imadopted.podcast Top Ten Best Takeout Restaurant in Boston: https://www.bostonglobe.com/2021/02/11/magazine/100-top-restaurants-takeout-boston-beyond/ Banh Mi Oi Cafe's website: https://banhmioi.cafe/ “American Dream” (and Harvard study) article: https://eig.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/American-Dream-White-Paper-V5.pdf

We're baaack, and kicking off season 3 with a new Q+A segment, where our host answers questions that were submitted by YOU! Then, we meet Sungwon (Andrew), an adoptee who finds himself stuck somewhere between “I like it” and “I want it” when it comes to Korean influences in his life. After a friend introduced him to Korean art, music, fashion, and food, Sungwon felt a growing curiosity inside him for a culture he hadn't really given any thought to… until now! After, join us for a quick reflection on today's episode where host, Liza, shares how she breaks it all down. From taking notes and active listening to unpacking the psychology behind each interview and how she, herself, processes these conversations. Trust us, you won't want to miss out on our first episode, so LISTEN NOW! LINKS: Interested in being a GUEST on the show?? https://calendly.com/imadoptednowwhat/podcast-guest FOLLOW us on Instagram and Facebook for all the latest news, updates, & more! https://www.instagram.com/imadopted.podcast/ https://www.facebook.com/imadopted.podcast Hidden Brain episode on "Stereotype Threat": https://hiddenbrain.org/podcast/how-they-see-us/ Brent Staples' book (where he discusses his “Whistling Vivaldi” idea): https://www.amazon.com/Parallel-Time-Growing-Black-White/dp/0380724758/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr= Did you like this episode?? Please consider leaving a review - they help SO much with the show's growth & visibility)!!

Our short summer break is over and we... ARE BACK! Today, on this mini episode, we talk all things Season 3 - what we've been up to & some of the changes you can expect to see in upcoming episodes. First full episode goes live next week, so make sure you SUBSCRIBE, SHARE, and STAY TUNED for some epic conversations! Interested in being a guest on the show?? https://calendly.com/imadoptednowwhat/podcast-guest Follow us on Instagram & Facebook for all the latest news, updates, and more! https://www.instagram.com/imadopted.podcast/ https://www.facebook.com/imadopted.podcast

On today's episode, we welcome the show's first mother-daughter DUO! Join us as we welcome adoptee, Corrie, and her mother, Diana, to the show and chat about what it means to adopt, and be adopted. How does Corrie find harmony in feeling both blessed for the life she has and curious for the life she could have had? Does Diana feel guilty about taking Corrie from her birth country? How is Corrie's memory of her childhood different from her mother's memories of it? Does motherhood feel different when you're an adoptive parent? We get into all of those juice topics, AND MORE, so tune in and don't miss this epic season finale!

I thought I knew my birthplace... but I was wrong. Hi, I'm Liza, and I'm your host! On this episode, I share 2 new facts about my own personal adoption journey that I never knew before - my assumed birthplace and my assumed birthday. There's something wrong with both, but you'll have to listen to find out what!

In the adoption community, there is a phrase known as, “coming out of the fog”, an organic and non-linear process by which an [adult] adoptee begins to unlearn and deconstruct the mythologies taught to them about adoption by the adoptive family and mainstream society at large.⁠ ⁠ On this episode, we chat with Christine, the founder/CEO of Adoptee Bridge - an organization that helps adoptees make meaningful connections to their adoption stories by providing supportive, post-adoption services. ⁠ She talks about the story behind the organization and reveals the truth that not every adoptee experiences coming out of the fog (though most do a some point in their lives). She also shares her own experience as a Korean adoptee, what coming out of the fog was like for her, and how she used it to create and shape the foundation of Adoptee Bridge. Listen now.

In the dictionary, the first definition of D i v e r s i t y says, “the state of being diverse; variety.” ⁠ But the second definition is really where the heart of D i v e r s i t y lies, as it is, “the practice of including or involving people from a range of different social and ethnic backgrounds and of different genders, sexual orientations, etc.”⁠ ⁠ Let that sink in for a moment… Diversity is a p r a c t i c e. ⁠ On today's episode, we welcome our first Nepali adoptee, Sudha, and chat about just how important diversity can be. From living in a diverse community (or not), to having diversity within your own family, to considering how diverse the college you want to attend is… we talk about how crucial diverse environments are to identity development, and how people, places, & things that actively practice diversity are usually the first to thrive. Listen now.

What qualities would the best books on adoption have inside them? Don't worry - it's not a trick question, so if things like “diversity”, “living with 2 families”, or “what being multicultural means and why it's perfectly okay” came to your mind then you're on the right track! Now, let's say you ask Google, “What are the best children's books on adoption?” Chances are you'll be reading synopses all about, “how long we waited for you”, “how much we wanted you”, or “how much we loved you before we even met you,” and while those are all sincere and important qualities you want in any adoptive parent, they are slightly beside the point - the one being adopted; what is the perspective of the adoptee? On this episode, we chat all things literature with Claire, who is studying race in children's literature, to be exact, at Central Michigan University. Join us as we talk about the presence of race in children's books, why adoption material seems to always be about the parents and never the kids, and what we can do to change that. Listen now.⁠

Community. One word that has many meanings to many people. Here, at I'm Adopted, Now What? ‘Community' means adoptees supporting other adoptees! So we're back for another adoptee podcast collaboration on this week's episode!⁠⁠ ⁠ We're joined by co-hosts Addison & Libby from Adoptee Meets World, a podcast that dives into the Chinese-American adoptee perspective, to talk about… you guessed it! All things adoptee. From the desire to blend in with your friends when you're a child, to the emotional rollercoaster of a heritage/homeland trip, from how proactive or avoidant parenting strategies can impact one's identity, to the idea of “real asian” - be it those with immigrant parents from an asian country, the exclusive behavior of one asian group to another, or the experience of Imposter Syndrome/the Authenticity Dilemma where you yourself wonder if you're really “asian”… We talk about all this, and more, on today's episode, so listen now!⁠

Did you know that a baby's brain absorbs information faster in their first 3 years than at any other time in their life? No, not the kind of information that helps you distinguish the difference between left and right, up and down, or right from wrong (though many babies can, and do, begin to learn these basics during their first years)… I'm talking about learning information through observation, and take it from someone who spent a lot of time studying them in school… a baby's brain doesn't miss anything. For a lot of parents, this is great news! Instead of teaching a child good manners the same way a teacher explains to a student why Jane has 2 apples left to sell after Adam bought 1, a parent can actively model what good manners look like and sound like. Instead of reading about it in a book or learning about it in a classroom, a parent can model that behavior, allowing the child to see it, in real time, on repeat. The flip side of this indiscriminate information superhighway is that children often pick up on negative behaviors, too. Manners, sharing, teamwork, and respect are just a few values children are exposed to through passive observation. So, what happens to society when new generations of children are observing a growing rift between those who hold different values on subjects like racism and diversity? On this week's episode, Sophia and I deep dive into all things racism; how being exposed to racism at different ages can impact how one thinks about race, about their own personal identity, and how Sophia's study of eastern cultural anthropology has shifted her mindset altogether. Listen now.

We've spent a lot of time on this show discussing minority adoptees; what their origin stories are, how it feels to be adopted by people of a different race & culture, and who the future version of their present selves will be… but what about those who are not transracial adoptees (meaning both adoptee and adopter are of the same race)? Join us on today's episode where Simon, the podcast's first white male adoptee, discusses just that. We're taking a leap across the pond in today's episode, where we are joined by Simon Benn, a UK coach for adoptees looking to thrive. He talks about what life has been like as an adoptee in the UK, and shares a story with us, about how discovering the history of his favorite childhood teddy bear at age 40, lead to a complete reevaluation & reconstruction of his own identity. Listen now.

Have you ever played Two Truths and a Lie? If you haven't, the rules are pretty simple: you state 3 facts about yourself and 1 has to be a lie while the other 2 facts must be true. Then, people have to try and figure out which fact is the lie. It's a common ice breaker game people play during employee retreats, summer camp, and the occasional birthday party. The things people choose to lie about are also fairly common: the existence of pets, how many siblings you have, a weird allergy, or whether or not you traveled to this cool place where a crazy thing happened to you (hint: that's usually not the lie). But what probably isn't so common is using your identity as part of the game. “I don't speak Chinese” when people assume you do or “my parents are white” when people assume they're not. Alia, one of the guests on today's show, is one such people. On this episode, I chat with Alia and her co-host Aimee from the Somewhere Between podcast where they too, talk with others about the concept of identity, and how our experiences as adoptees create ripple effects we feel our whole lives. Listen now.

✨BONUS EPISODE✨: The whale adventures continue this week as we visit the Arctic in search of Beluga Whales and their cousin, the Narwhal. Although they are relatively close relatives, they rarely ever cross paths with each other. So, what happens when a lost Narwhal stumbles into Beluga territory and he's discovered by a gang of young male Belugas? It may not be exactly what you'd expect.⁠ ⁠ Find out and listen to the podcast's 3rd bonus episode now!

We probably all know someone who knows someone who has that bad tattoo of something they can't remember in a language they don't speak. Now, imagine you cross paths and they ask you to translate it for them as cross their fingers and hope it says what it's supposed to. They're asking YOU because you look like you know if “Hermano” in Spanish really means “Brother”… But unfortunately for them, you don't know Spanish, so they are S.O.L. (*shit outta luck, in case you didn't know). On this episode, we chat with Mattie, the podcast's first adoptee who identifies as transgender and the inspiration for that short story above. Mattie talks about how they're learning to weave together their adoptee and transgender identity, both in New Orleans and in an ongoing pandemic. Feeling disconnected, being a “bad asian”, & the importance of giving yourself grace - all that, and more on this episode. Listen now.

✨BONUS EPISODE✨: There are more than 90 species of whales, dolphins, & porpoises (known collectively as "cetaceans”) in the world. From the enormous Blue whale to the tiny Hector's dolphin, they exist in nearly every sea, ocean, & major fresh water system on Earth, and their variety is endless. Some have teeth to eat food while others rely on their baleen filter-feeding, some thrive in salty waters while others prefer fresh-water rivers, some communicate through song and others by whistling, some eat other large mammals and others only eat krill, some are smooth, some are bumpy… the list goes on and on! But what does this have to do with a podcast all about adoption and identity? Well, I'll tell you - whales adopt. That's right! There are documented cases from around the world of different whale pods adopting other whales. The specific species and culture of those adopted don't seem to factor in, as further observation of these groups indicate that empathy plays a main role in the adoption of stray whales into other pods. On today's bonus episode, we talk about all things whale and reveal just how much whales and humans have in common; adoption is only the start. Listen now.

We've all heard the term “somewhere between” before. Whether in reference to an arrival or departure destination, when talking about our mood, or even when it comes to how hungry we are on a scale of “starving” to “food coma” - people find themselves “somewhere between” something, all the time. But, if you live in America and you're a person of color, then you've probably heard it most when it comes to discussions of identity. You're “somewhere between” American and Asian or “somewhere between” white and black or “somewhere between” speaking English and Spanish… So what does being “somewhere between” really feel like? On this episode, I catch up with the Sisters of China, and ask them this very question. From feeling guilty about not being “white enough” to balancing self-reliance with asking for help, from managing expectations and the idea of perfection to dealing with abandonment trauma - we get real & get deep, as we talk about it all, so listen now.

✨BONUS EPISODE✨: Let me tell you about the time I ended up in the woods, deep in the middle of “Nowhere” Connecticut, surrounded by a bunch of Trump supporters… As promised, my first bonus episode, where I get real, get deep, & get personal. Listen now!

French or Spanish - those are the 2 most common languages offered to children in school. Remember taking all those placement exams, where your score determined which level you'd be put in? I always wished I was fluent in Spanish so I could be exempt from taking any language class at all. But for Alicia, today's episode guest, that wasn't the case. She is part of the Latin X community, but doesn't know any Spanish because she was adopted by non-Spanish speakers. When Alicia expressed a desire to learn Spanish in school, she was told she couldn't join the class because it would simply be another “easy A”. In other words, Alicia wasn't allowed to learn Spanish because her school assumed she was already fluent solely based on what she looked like. Have no doubt - this is racism, and on today's episode, Alicia and I discuss how experiencing racism like that, at such a young age, can follow you well into adulthood. Alicia shares how being denied access to the culture of her birthplace not only made her feel like she didn't belong, but how it also brought prejudice from other people, both white and Latin X, upon her. Don't miss out, as I'm Adopted, Now What? welcomes its first (of hopefully many) Latin X guests - listen now.

The Millennial generation is growing up - fast. From overcoming 1/4 life crises to getting married to buying a house with room for a swing set in the backyard, the almost-thirty somethings aren't the newest kids on the block anymore. But that doesn't mean the millennial generation is obsolete! On this episode, Tara (who is the host of her own show, Adopted Babies from China) and I discuss how early exposure to heritage and culture can directly impact whether one feels pride or shame about their country of origin and how turning down the volume on your inner questions, hopes, and fears, instead of up, can interfere with emotional development. We also talk about the process of growing up and how we are continuing to pave the way for a better future while also being lead to it by the next generation. Listen now!

We pickup where we left off - sort of - by interviewing Ben, the brother of our season 1 finale interviewee, Juan. Also from the Gold Coast, Ben has a very different outlook on adoption than his brother. Growing up, Ben didn't talk much about his adoption nor did he ask his parents questions about his past… …Well, not anymore. On today's episode, Ben opens up and shares his experience as an adoptee. From being Black and talking about Australia's ugly history with its treatment of minorities to discussing how fatherhood helped change his perspective on his own birth parents to his thoughts on adoption “celebration” vs “normalization” - we cover it all. Trust me, you won't want to miss out on this conversation, and if you like accents, then you're in for a treat! Listen now.

(PART THREE) Nick and Courtney met through mutual friends many years ago. Nick is black and Courtney is white. On this episode, we delve deep into what it's like being adopted and part of an interracial marriage in today's society. Nick comments on how being black, and Courtney on how being a mixed race couple, when visiting America, is starkly different than in Australia. With the world seemingly becoming smaller and smaller, whether because of the pandemic or because of heightened racial tensions, their experiences as a black and white couple are all the more important. Then, adopted from Colombia, Nick offers us insight into what it's like to be an Australian adoptee and how the search for his birth relatives has influenced him, from learning a new language to finding a brother, to shaping some of the ways in which he raises his own daughter with Courtney. The final chapter of this three-part season finale, this is a story you don't want miss.

(PART TWO) Nick and Courtney met through mutual friends many years ago. Nick is black and Courtney is white. On this episode, we delve deep into what it's like being adopted and part of an interracial marriage in today's society. Nick comments on how being black, and Courtney on how being a mixed race couple, when visiting America, is starkly different than in Australia. With the world seemingly becoming smaller and smaller, whether because of the pandemic or because of heightened racial tensions, their experiences as a black and white couple are all the more important. Then, adopted from Colombia, Nick offers us insight into what it's like to be an Australian adoptee and how the search for his birth relatives has influenced him, from learning a new language to finding a brother, to shaping some of the ways in which he raises his own daughter with Courtney. Part two of a three-part season finale, this is a story you won't want miss.

Nick and Courtney met through mutual friends many years ago. Nick is black and Courtney is white. On this episode, we delve deep into what it's like being adopted and part of an interracial marriage in today's society. Nick comments on how being black, and Courtney on how being a mixed race couple, when visiting America, is starkly different than in Australia. With the world seemingly becoming smaller and smaller, whether because of the pandemic or because of heightened racial tensions, their experiences as a black and white couple are all the more important. Then, adopted from Colombia, Nick offers us insight into what it's like to be an Australian adoptee and how the search for his birth relatives has influenced him, from learning a new language to finding a brother, to shaping some of the ways in which he raises his own daughter with Courtney. Part one of a three-part season finale, this is a story you won't want miss.

From trying to determine which major is right for you to navigating your way from your dorm to the correct classroom in the right building, from balancing coursework with healthy eating and time to exercise to observing complex social dynamics in the hopes that you'll find a good group of friends - college is confusing, wonderful, and hard all at the same time. Mix that with the unknowing of your past, several unanswered questions, and the uncertainty of your identity, and you get most college adoptees. In an environment that can be the most unforgiving, when you're constantly defying peoples expectations (and not always in a good way), Grace sheds light, and gives advice, on how she navigates her way through these uncharted waters.

“…And they lived happily ever after.” It's a trope you've likely heard over and over and over again. Happy endings and fairytale stories surround us in American culture from the moment we're born. From Disney movies where the heroine conquers her fears and dares to be different, to action movies where the bully is overpowered by his past victims on a quest for revenge, to romantic comedies where the unpopular girl finally wins the guy of her dreams and defeats the queen bee - all happy endings. This is the way a lot of people view adoption, too Adopted kids are considered “better off” and their adoptive parents “saviors” because society is certain that life elsewhere would surely have been horrid and unbearable. But this is a false certainty which breeds false sentiment. No one knows better than the adopted, the plain and simple truth, that life with their birth family in their birth country may very well have been good or even better, then life where, and with whom, they ended up being. On this episode, Juliana talks about how we should all let go of these stale and inaccurate tropes and let everyone define their own “happily ever after” on their own terms.

Prehistoric times, the Classical Era, the Middle Ages, the Renaissance, the Industrial Revolution, the Silent Generation, the Baby Boomers, the Millennials, Generation Z... the list goes on and on, with the common thread being that all people have belonged to one of these groups. Defined by when they were born or who their parents were, each person has had their place in the ranks of history. But, what if you didn't know when you were born? Or what if you were birthed by someone from one generation but adopted by someone from another? Or what if your classification, your rank, was solely based on a technicality, like being an immigrant, but only in the eyes of Merriam-Webster? Then what? Where do you fall in the records of humanity? Find out in this episode, as Emily breaks it down for us, and proposes a new generation... one you may never have heard of before.

The conclusion to Matt's epic birth family reunion story. What it was like returning home after such a powerful experience and what he thinks when he looks back on it, years later... part two of this unforgettable journey is finally here.

Imagine you've spent your whole life wondering… Why were you given up? Were you unwanted? Why didn't they keep you? Was is forced or by choice? Where did you get your nose from? How about your cheekbones? Which parent had your widow's peak? What about your photic sneeze? Who did you inhere your affinity for music from? When will you ever get answers to these questions? Now, imagine that you do. Imagine that it happens all at once, in a foreign country, with a different language, surrounded by strangers… who also aren't strangers because, though you've never met, they look like you, sound like you, walk like you do, and all that wondering you've done your whole life finally stops. What happened next? Listen to this episode to find out what came next for Matt.

As recent as 15 years ago, the normalized standard of American beauty was tall, white, and thin. Confirmed by television ads, magazine covers, and models walking down a runway, it was the only way a woman could be considered beautiful. A skinny nose, thick lips, and big eyes were the only accepted arrangement of features that was considered attractive. 15 years later, society has, for the most part, come to their senses. Nowadays, it's commonplace to see women and men of all colors, shapes, and sizes, with any number of arrangements of facial features, in a 2-page spread or on the cover of a magazine. While American beauty standards still have a long way to go, the idea that beauty comes from within is slowly taking hold… Or is it? Why does there need to be anything American about beauty in the first place? Has this country's notion about what is attractive really changed so much, if society only treats those who act American, never mind look it, better than those who don't? On this episode, we discuss how acting American can change your appearance more than, puberty, glasses, makeup, or plastic surgery ever could.

Let's set the scene: You're walking down Main Street with your family to your usual, every Thursday night dinner spot. You've walked down this street and eaten at this restaurant countless times, and each time, 1 of 2 things always happens… If you're not adopted, people don't spare more than a glance in your direction because you look the same as the company you're with. But if you are adopted, peoples' eyes linger and you can see, behind their gaze, their minds trying to figure out why you look different than others in your group. Now, imagine a 3rd possibility - you are adopted, but nobody stares because you look like your mom or your dad. Are you grateful to be spared those lingering awkward glances? Or does it make your adoption feel invalidated? Do you even notice? Do you even care? Lily is no stranger to this 3rd possibility, and on this episode, she chats with me about what it's like to live it every day.

Forget everything you know about American norms, because in this episode, I chat with Hana. She lives in Australia, and if you've ever wondered what life as an Asian Australian is like, then this episode is for you. Are Australians more or less racist towards Asians than Americans? Has the dark history of Aboriginal repression had the same societal effects as slavery? Does Australia even have daylight's savings time? Don't worry. Hana answers all these questions, and more.

We've all heard the term "Exotic" before. Whether it's in reference to animals, plants, or far-away travel destinations, there's a good chance that we've all used the phrase at one time or another. Now consider what happens when this word is used to describe people. Maybe your mind conjures up the image of a person with Exotic beauty, Exotic features, or an Exotic aura. And while none of that is, by the textbook definition of the word, wrong, what your mind doesn't tell you is that the word Exotic also facilitates objectification and perpetuates unrealistic assumptions. In this episode, I chat with Molly, someone who knows firsthand what the experience of being seen as Exotic is like, and just how damaging it can be.

Who am I? It is the most existential question and impossible to figure out alone. My friend, Siena, and I, haven't spoken in over 10 years, and on this episode, we reconnect in an effort to answer it by discussing how asking other hard questions like, Was I unwanted? Am I privileged? Do I belong? What is my identity? How will I know for sure? Now What? may be the only way to find out.

Imagine you're browsing the isles of a bookstore, looking for a book on how to train your new dog. The dust cover has a photograph of a cute puppy with big eyes and the author pictured on the back seems experienced and knowledgeable on all things canine. You buy the book and arrive home, excited to begin training, only to realize there's been a terrible mistake. Not only is this not a book about training dogs, it's not a book about training anything! It's a cookbook telling you how to make the perfect curry dish. In this episode, I chat with Michelle about her experience living in the south after growing up in Upstate New York, what it's like to date as an Asian-looking woman, and the general idea of, “don't judge a book by it's cover”.

I met Addie when I was 8 years old, at summer camp just outside New Paltz, NY. By the end of that first camp day, we had already scheduled our first playdate, during which we would eat Pocky and play Polly Pocket. It's been almost ten years since then, and the last time we spoke, that I can remember, was back in 2016. Now, 4 years later, we both finally had time for a phone call. On this episode, we talk about how being adopted has affected our lives, how having older parents made us weird, and why the media plays such a key role when it comes to shaping ones identity.

Ever had a quarter-life crisis? Join. The. Club. If you haven't, well then… stay tuned! In this episode, I discuss how the pandemic, the BLM movement, and the loss of my dad, all culminated into me having, essentially - one big freak out. From being certain about who you are to having absolutely no clue, I touch on what it's like to be adopted, and how it feels to exist somewhere between.

Welcome to the first episode! Today's teaser is all about setting “the vibe”. From the sound of my voice, to my weird personality quirks, from an anecdote or two about my childhood, to what's in store for the rest of the season, I get real, get deep, and ask you to join me as I, along with, well, everyone, figure out…. now what?