Seen

Whether we care to admit it or not, most of us resonate with a deep desire to be loved, accepted and cherished. But in practice, much can get in the way of receiving the love we so deserve. In this episode, Nic and Lala explore what it means to be loved in all ways, and from all directions. Song of the week: Ex-Factor by Lauryn Hill

What do we risk when we enter conflicts in our friendships? And what do we risk when we avoid them? In this episode, Nic and Lala explore fear and vulnerability by discussing trust, conflict, and hurt in their own friendship. Song of the week: Best Friend by Pharrell

Personal healing and collective liberation work is taxing, and in the midst of this labour, our ability to take a break and feel some respite can become a luxury. So what can we use to keep us afloat? In this episode, Nic and Lala talk about what cultivating sacred presence, striking balance, and showing up in our own lives—for ourselves—can afford us. Song of the week: Just Fine by Mary J. Blige

As the world celebrates Pride month, Nic and Lala trace the evolution of Pride from a radical liberation movement to what often feels like a depoliticized corporate party, and call for Two-Spirit, queer and trans BIPOC to regain our rightful place as leaders of Pride movements. Song of the week: Crazy Classic Life by Janelle Monae

In this episode, Nic and Lala reflect and mourn the ongoing genocide of indigenous people, grieving the enormous loss of life following the recovery of 215 childrens' bodies in Kamloops, and offer actionable ways that all settlers can work towards accountability for our complicity. Song of the week: Where Do We Go From Here by Solange

If all our faves are problematic, can they still be our faves? In this episode, Nic and Lala discuss the ethics of loving problematic art, humanizing artists, and the responsibilities of the audience. Song of the week: Moment of Clarity by Jay-Z

Our impact on the world around us can often feel intangible. While we know our lives are more than our labour or careers, the notion of legacy often gets boiled down to fame, popularity or being “known” for something--but what else is possible? In this episode, Nic and Lala offer their ideas on relationships and values as forms of legacy, and how the small ripples of our actions can cause massive waves of care for generations to come.  Song of the week: I Was Here by Beyonce. 

When occupying positions of authority, women and non-binary folks of colour are often said to experience imposter syndrome. But when our qualifications, skills, and expertise are constantly questioned, is it really that simple? In this episode, Lala and Nic use an anti-oppressive framework to discuss the contradictions of claiming authority and ceding power when we have so little to begin with. Song of the week: Boss Bitch by Doja Cat

In this episode, Nic shares some of her initial learnings on transformative justice, what it offers our movements, and how it has begun to resonate, challenge, and spark new reflections on addressing harm, achieving accountability, and holding onto our humanity. Song of the week: Oh Maker by Janelle Monáe

What does it look like, sound like, feel like to see the world through the eyes of your oppressors? When you see even yourself through their eyes? in this episode, Nic and Lala discuss what it means to look across rather than “up”, how internalized misogyny leaves us lonely, and more. Song of the week: Ideal Woman by Celeste 

Friendship is a gift, offering us real opportunities to practice love, care, and accountability. But often, real friends are hard to come by, our ideas about friendship may not match reality. Seasons change, and so do we. In this episode, Nic and Lala celebrate the joy and power of one of the most sacred forms of relationship. Song of the week: Best Friend by Saweetie ft. Doja Cat

If guilt lets us know when we’ve done something wrong, why is it often referred to as a wasted emotion? Does guilt immobilize us or move us to take action? In this episode, Nic and Lala discuss the contradictions of guilt, the ways it intersects with ego and with ableism, and how to move from guilt to responsibility. Song of the week: Same Ol' Mistakes by Rihanna

Birthdays, holidays, anniversaries. While we may feel pressured to create picture-perfect celebrations for these supposedly sunny days, many of us find ourselves triggered, wrapped in grief, and wanting to hide. In this episode, Nic and Lala discuss trauma coinciding with celebration, and how to take care of ourselves on these complex occasions. Song of the week: Overwhelmed by Chloe x Halle

Do you know what your intuition looks, sounds, tastes, feels like? In this episode, Nic and Lala discuss healing our intuition as BIPOC in a white supremacist society, distinguishing between intuition and anxiety, and the blessings of learning to listen and connect. Song of the week: Nature by India.Arie.

In this episode, Nic and Lala process the recent white supremacist violence in the US Capitol, discussing how these same forces manifest in what is currently known as Canada, why Canadians are so eager to ignore the problems at home, and the energy shift BIPOC are experiencing in this moment. Song of the week: Earth Is Ghetto by Aliah Sheffield

We live in a society where separation, disconnection, and harm are the norm. This is a trauma culture that supports ongoing colonialism and genocide. In this episode, Nic and Lala discuss intergenerational trauma, cultural shadow work, and our collective responsibility to heal. Song of the week: The Sharecropper’s Daughter by Sa-Roc.

As adults, our relationships with parents might be edifying and supportive, but for others, painful remnants from the past can carry forward, weighing us down. In this episode, Nic shares what it’s meant to build empathy for her father as she heads into a new phase of life. Song of the week: Saturn by NAO

The most intimate relationship of our lives is the one we have with ourselves. But it is also the most complicated, and at times, the most painful. In this episode, Nic and Lala dig into the roots of self-hatred and trace paths toward healing. Song of the week: u by Kendrick Lamar

Most of us come to justice work with a deep sense of care and love for others. But often, inadequacy and the belief we’re not doing enough eclipses our ability to have compassion for ourselves - or each other. In this episode, Nic and Lala discuss the challenges of navigating vulnerability, performative allyship and shame. Song of the week: Pretty Hurts by Beyonce

Rest is one of our most basic needs, so why do we find ourselves resisting and outrunning it? And in doing so, how are we harming the sick and disabled folks among us? In this episode, Nic and Lala slow down and discuss balance, quieting the noise around us, and rest as a foundational part of healing and liberation work. Song of the week: Beautiful by India.Arie

Collective liberation requires all hands on deck, so what role do you play as you show up to do the work? How can we challenge hierarchies of power that lie even within our “safer” havens of care? In this episode, Nic and Lala lean on the teachings of Mariame Kaba who teaches us that everything worthwhile is done with other people. Song of the week: My Power by CHIKA

With all the ways we are harmed by dominant groups in society, we often expect the communities we build with other marginalized folks to be safe havens. So what happens when they’re not? In this episode, Nic and Lala discuss power and entitlement, examining our own complicity, and what it would take to build safer communities. Song of the week: Cold War by Janelle Monáe. 

What would be possible if the men who don’t actively commit violence showed up to support survivors and oppose violence with everything they've got? In this episode, Nic and Lala discuss surviving the indifference of our communities, the layers of harm and betrayal caused by toxic masculinity, and why supporting men necessitates holding them accountable. Song of the week: Love Drought by Beyonce. 

Black women show up for everyone, but who shows up for them? Who benefits from maintaining Black women’s oppression? And what do calls to #protectblackwomen mean in a world that gleefully maligns their pain and silences their voices? In this episode, Nic and Lala discuss patriarchy, Black women’s power, and the importance of knowing our history. Song of the week: Baby Girl by Chloe x Halle.

True to their mission of learning in public, Nic and Lala discuss their feelings about identifying as femmes, their understandings of femininity and who is excluded from it, and the rebellion of femme identity. Song of the week: Pynk by Janelle Monáe

Nic and Lala discuss detours on the road to sexual awakening and radical self-acceptance, exploring our own connections to our bodies, and the gifts that sexual liberation can offer us. This episode was live-recorded for Room Magazine's Issue 43.2, Devour.  Song of the week: 6 Inch by Beyoncé.

We’re told to follow our dreams, and that if we can dream it we can achieve it. But what are dreams made of? What guides our dreams in the first place, and what if they aren’t aligned with who we really are? In this episode, we discuss escapism, wild dreams, envisioning new realities, and differentiating between the dreams that fuel us and the ones that waste our time. Song of the week: Cranes In The Sky by Solange

When tragedy dominates the news, the call to show up for those who are suffering is impossible to ignore. But when the news cycle moves on, too many would-be “allies” do too. So what would it take to build solidarity between our communities on a stronger foundation, outside of any news cycle? In this episode Nic and Lala discuss building trust, sharing generative space, and why strong boundaries must underpin all our of work. Song of the week: Superpower by Beyonce ft. Frank Ocean

Where were you in the fight for Black lives until this point? How did you uphold anti-Blackness, benefit from white supremacy, and profit off the destruction of Black bodies? And where was your care for Black people all along? In this episode, Nic grieves the traumatic loss of Black life and demands more from new-found allies in the Black Lives Matter movement. Song of the week: Freedom by Beyonce ft. Kendrick Lamar

Personal growth is an ethic that supports our healing and helps us become the people we want to be. So why does a growth mindset sometimes lead to burnout? And when does it become a tool of capitalism? In this episode, Nic and Lala discuss reimagining growth, honouring natural rhythms, and broadening our vision to support collective expansion. Song of the week: Jump Hi by Lionbabe ft. Childish Gambino.

Venus Retrograde is an astrological transit that asks us to reclaim the parts of ourselves that feel ugly, unloved, and unacceptable. In this episode, Nic and Lala trace the ways the Venus Retrograde cycle has impacted their lives, and discuss healing through meeting our pain and embracing our shadows. Song of the week: Love in the Dark by Jessie Reyez

During a pandemic, our families can become even more crucial to our survival - but they can also compound our stress and trauma. Can we always tell the difference? In this episode, Nic and Lala discuss untangling guilt from love, grieving loss, celebrating reconnection, and setting boundaries that serve us. Song of the Week: Same Ol' Mistakes by Rihanna

A racing heart, shaky hands, a sense of impending doom - fear can be one of our most overwhelming feelings. So how are we supposed to function when it becomes a centrepiece of our daily lives? In this episode, Nic and Lala discuss expressing, releasing, and soothing fear - and how to make space for moments when we feel we can’t work with it at all. Song of the week: Broken Clocks by SZA

In uncertain times, with so much beyond our control, is it possible to find steadiness? Can we continue to live and heal during a pandemic? In this episode, Nic and Lala discuss cultivating joy, groundedness, and presence while simultaneously facing the fear and grief of this moment. Song of the week: Beauty In The World by Macy Gray

As non-Indigenous POC, have you ever pushed back against racism by asserting that you’re from here, you’re Canadian, you belong here? In this episode, Nic and Lala continue their discussion of the identities and responsibilities held by settlers of colour, exploring what it means to search for belonging while living on stolen land, and how we can honour our ancestors by fighting Canadian colonialism. Song of the week: K.O.S Determination by Black Star

While Indigenous Land Defenders #ShutDownCanada, what does it mean to be both a person of colour and a settler? As we feel overwhelmed and may need to balance showing up for others with caring for ourselves, who has access to rest and self-care? And when does “self-care” become an excuse for not doing our work? In this episode, Nic and Lala discuss pushing past shame, how settler guilt can compel us to act, and the necessity of finding our place in the movement for Indigenous sovereignty. Song of the week: A Tribe Called Red by Angel Haze

Self-exploration of our sexuality can be exciting and daunting. Nearly one year after coming out as bisexual, Nic opens up about her feelings of not feeling “queer enough”, and Lala offers her experiences on navigating queerness as a woman of colour. Song of the week: Gonna Love Me by Teyana Taylor

Diasporas are rich, vibrant... and complicated. While many of us feel deeply connected to the cultures of our heritage, we also feel like outsiders. So how do we engage with our cultural lineages with integrity? In this episode, Lala and Nic explore the dynamics of cultural appropriation and how to understand our place in the cultures and communities we descend from. Song of the week: Formation by Beyoncé 

2020 began with a lot of tragedy: Australia’s catastrophic wildfires, devastating loss in Iran, and the world feeling on the brink of impending disaster. Where do we go from here? In this episode, Lala and Nic dive into frank discussions on the often overwhelming fear and grief we experience today, and explore what it means to have hope in the face of endings, collapse, and destruction. Song of the week: Hallelujah by k-os

The end of the year often means feelings of reflection, optimism, and sometimes, dread. How does a new year feel for you? A challenge to expand more fully into yourself, or a measuring stick and what you ought to “fix”? With a new decade in full view, Nic and Lala talk self-acceptance and personal growth. Song of the Week: 5 Year Plan by Chance the Rapper, Randy Newman

Vulnerability can come naturally for some, and cause real discomfort for others. Listen as Lala and Nic discuss whether vulnerability is just about communicating our feelings, and consider what keeps us from being vulnerable, even with people who love us. Song of the week: These Walls by Kendrick Lamar ft. Bilal, Anna Wise, and Thundercat

Sensitive people are all around you: taking in information, feeling deeply, and honing in on the energies of others. In this live recording of Seen, Nic and Lala open up about emotional and physical sensitivity and explore how an Achilles heel can become a powerful resource. Song of the week: In My Feelings by Kehlani

What is anti-blackness? Can non-black people of colour be anti-black, or is this just a white thing? In this episode, we get into the specificities of this particular strand of racism to tease out the ways that anti-blackness operates and is perpetuated. Buckle up, shit might get a lil' bumpy. Song of the week: F.U.B.U. by Solange

Our bodies are sites of learning, holders of our experiences, and for many, battlegrounds against chronic pain, disease and illness. In the first episode recorded after our hiatus, Lala shares how her health has forced her to slow down, and the lessons she’s chosen to take from this debilitating season. Song of the week: Another Spring by Nina Simone

Ready or not, you can’t hide—the internet will find you! Or, at the very least, the truth will be found out, and repercussions may ensue. In this day and age, “cancel culture” and “call-out culture” are highly criticized as divisive, but what is the purpose of cancelling people? What are alternatives? In this episode, we discuss accountability, disposability, shame and redemption. Song of the week: Ready or Not by The Fugees 

We’re deep in the age of social media, and for better or for worse, it shapes how we think, how we see ourselves and how we project our identities to others. Our experiences as BIPOC are finally able to be validated on a whole other level, and social media helps us find our people. In this episode, hosts Nic and Lala find the strengths of this powerful digital arena, discuss how we can meaningfully engage online, and identify some of the reasons that social media may harm us. Song of the week: Photograph by J.Cole

What does it mean to step into your power? How do you work to tune out the noise that distracts you and the people and systems that keep you small? In this episode, Nic and Lala discuss the foundations of stepping into our power: believing ourselves. We explore the importance of connecting to our values and share tools that can support us in playing the most important character in our own lives. Song of the week: My Power by Thierra Whack, Beyonce and Moonchild Sanelly

What’s for you is for YOU. So why are we tripping, holding onto things that no longer serve us? In this episode, we identify common reasons why letting go is so difficult, and how we can better tolerate that discomfort and show up for ourselves in meaningful ways. Song of the week: Bag Lady by Erykah Badu

How do you feel when you’re alone with your thoughts? Do you welcome solitude, or descend into feelings of loneliness? In this episode, we tease out the differences and share what it means to become acquainted with the practice of tuning in to our own bodies and minds. Song of the week: New Apartment by Ari Lennox 

It’s likely that we’ve all experienced it: that drop in the pit of our stomachs, desperately wishing we could disappear, and fearing that the people we love may no longer accept us. Shame is a powerful feeling that most often drives us to retreat in self-judgement and isolation. In this episode, Lala and Nic share their perspectives on the causes of shame, how it operates, and its obvious but necessary antidote: community. Song of the week: Runnin’ by Naughty Boy ft. Beyoncé, and Arrow Benjamin

SEEN was created out of a desire to connect personal healing with collective liberation work—but what does that even mean? Is it possible to be an advocate of social justice and transformational change in our communities if we aren’t doing our own personal work? In this episode, Lala and Nic explore the heart of the podcast, provide insight on the harms that come when the two pieces do not exist together, and offer ideas on how we can make sure our work is sustainable by rooting it to our own healing journeys. Song of the week: Doo Wop (That Thing) by Lauryn Hill