The Better Mental Health Show

How much is life worth to you? What is that thing driving you forward and when you identify that thing, will you be relentless in your pursuit of it? Lets talk about it!

I have failed you. I lost discipline and went a long time without an episode. But, I'm back, and on this episode, we talk discipline and what it means to life, to our kids, and how I look to be disciplined in my every day life.

It is so hard for all of us, but in particular children, to do something that does not involve a digital device. On today's episode we talk about why that is so bad for kids and some strategies to help them find non digital hobbies.

We spend so much time talking about our kids as it relates to cell phone usage. But how much of that problem is actually our, the parents/adults, fault? We are more addicted to cell phones than them. So are we the cause of the problem, or at a minimum, making the problem worse? We discuss on this episode.

Routines are habits, and not all habits are good for you. When we get in a routine, we are basically on autopilot and therefore remove real emotional and physical pleasure from our lives. On today's episode we discuss how routines can be detrimental and ways to shake it up.

With all of the digital devices our kids have available to them, life void of digital inputs is just plain old boring. How do we combat this? How do we get our kids to love and be pleasured by life outside of the phone, ipad, TV, social media, etc? So glad to be back for another episode to talk about this topic.

I have been away for 3 months, and I am so sorry for that. But in that time, I looked inside myself, and learned. On today's episode I share my learnings and hope you resonate with what I found.

So many times we might hear our kids, or even ourself say "I'm nervous" about something we are doing. On this episode, we talk about a different way of looking at being "nervous". Rather than being nervous, be excited! In fact, I argue we should get rid of using the word nervous all together. Take a listen and let me know what you think!

Humans need healthy relationships to help them through the challenges of life. One concept younger kids have a hard time understanding is with friends, less is more. It's not the number of friends we have, but it's the quality of the friendships that really make the difference. Today we discuss the value of having just a few, true friends and how to talk kids about this concept.

The digital, online word kids grow up in can cause real problems as they are constantly being critiqued and compared. How can we counter this? Today we discuss the the only true answer to this question. On this episode we discuss the following article.

As humans and parents in particular, we want to immediately address feelings of confusion for our kids. The idea of them struggling with something should worry us, but would should not rush to fix the problem. What should we do? Take a listen as we discuss.

So many of us post the details of our life on social media for the world to see. Why do we do it, what does it mean for your mental health, for your kids? Join me as we answer these questions.

Communication is key to living a healthy, mentally strong life. On Episode 116 we talk about why communication is so important and ways to improve yours.

Kid's can have panic attacks just like adults. Recently my son suffered a panic attack at his summer camp and we spent some time working through it. On Episode 115 I talk about this experience, what I learned, and how we talked him through it.

Life is all about learning from your past to help you in your present and future. In other words, you have to be Ok going back before forward. In order for an arrow to fly it must first be drawn back, held with strength, and let go. On today's episode we discuss what other lessons we can learn from the arrow.

School shootings are here to stay and we need to start focusing on how we will harden our schools for when another happens. Not only will this help save lives, it will help us reassure our children that serious measures are in place to keep them safe. On today's episode I talk about how this will help kids, teachers, and parent's anxieties.

Sexting is something all kids will have to deal with and it's our job as parents to talk to them about it. Lately there has been a rise in "Sextortion" where kids are being blackmailed by strangers after they send pictures of themselves. The anguish and shame this causes has led to many kids ending their life by suicide. We discuss this and practical ways to talk about this with our kids.

Over 40% of teenagers surveyed reported feeling depressed or persistent sadness. This is a trend that has been on the rise even before the pandemic. Why is it happening? On this episode I discuss an article written by Derek Thompson that cites possible explanations for this crisis.

Anxiety is a normal response to a potentially dangerous or threatening situation. While we typically think about anxiety as a bad thing, numerous studies suggest that anxiety has many benefits to humans. What are they? We discuss on Episode 110, Anxiety Benefits. On this show we discuss the following articles: Article 1 Article 2 Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

A new study recently showed how addicting TikTok is on young brains. The result of this addiction is the wiring of brains to think the world exists as a fast paced, loud, bright, pleasurable place. The problem is, the world does not work that way. Today we discuss TikTok brain, the repercussions, and strategies to help kids limit this. On this show we discuss this article.

Our world today is saturated with pleasures. The problem? Our brains are designed to handle very limited, fleeting amounts. Things like sugary foods, social media, TV binging, and other additive substances all leave us in constant state of pleasure. On today's episode why talk about the problem this causes and the anxiety it can create. On this show we discuss this article.

Last week Will Smith slapped Chris Rock at the Oscars, and all I kept reading were debates as to who was wrong. For me, I saw something completely different. I saw two humans suffering and their mental health disease manifest in violence in front of millions of people. To me, this is an excellent teachable moment, and on this episode I discuss what those lessons are.

Being defensive is a common behavior of many humans and can wreak havoc on our ability to communicate and form healthy relationships. Why are humans so defensive? How can we become less defensive? How can we raise our kids to be less defensive? Join us on episode 106. On this episode we use and discuss the following articles: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/insight-is-2020/202109/why-certain-people-get-so-defensive https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-defensiveness-5115075 https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/how-be-yourself/201805/how-stop-getting-defensive

The family dinner is becoming a lost tradition and it is needed now more than ever. Sitting together as a family for a meal has a long list of documented benefits for the overall health (mental and physical) of both adults and kids. On Episode 105 we discuss the various benefits of sitting down together and sharing a meal. On this episode we discuss the following article

War is terrible, and for for kids in particular, it can evoke anxieties around feeling safe. When kids hear about or see images of war, they often don't understand why or where it is happening. This unknown can make them feel like it will happen in their neighborhood next. Should we talk to our kids about war, and if so, what should we say? We discuss on Episode 104. On this episode we discuss the following article

The world is imperfect, so we should teach kids how to embrace imperfection. This is not an easy task in a society that promotes perfection ubiquitously. On today's show we discuss strategies to help kids learn to embrace imperfection. On this episode we discuss the following article

Masks have been a critical tool in the battle against COVID. While they have been effective, it didn't come without a cost. For the past two years our kids had to navigate their first experiences of learning to read, taking the bus to school, middle school crushes and senior prom all with half of their face covered. This, coupled with isolation and the inability to socially interact has had a profound effect on their current and possibly long term mental health. On Episode 102 we discuss the current state of masked kids and its affects on mental health.

We take showers to rid our bodies of the daily dirt and sweat we accumulate. These leave us feeling fresh and clean for the next part of our day. Our minds accumulate a lot of "dirt" in the forms of stress from work and school each day. Why not take a mental shower to help us transition our day? How do we do that? We discuss on Episode 101.

On the 100th episode, I explore 10 lessons I have learned these past three years in my battle with anxiety. These range from therapy, to CBD, to parenting, to avoiding the news. Join me for this milestone episode and make sure you catch up on all previous 99 episodes!

My 9 year old recently came to me and said, "Dad, I have something on my mind" and I was so proud. Why? One of the most critical factors in being a more mentally strong human is the ability to recognize when you are feeling a certain way and then being able to talk about it. So how to do encourage this behavior in our children, our students, even our adult partners? Today on episode 99 we talk about ways to promote this critical behavior. We discuss these articles on today's episode.

Workplace stress is often cited as a major driver of mental health deterioration. The pandemic has made this worse withe labor shortages forcing the remaining employees to pick up the slack of their depleted teams. Increased workload, shifting responsibilities and inter-personal conflict are just a few of the issues cited by many employees. While employers are becoming more aware and cognizant of the mental health of their employees, more work is still needed. Today we discuss some quick strategies to lower the stress burden from work and keep your mental health on track. We discuss these articles on today's episode. https://www.verywellmind.com/how-to-deal-with-stress-at-work-3145273 https://www.cbia.com/news/hr-safety/workplace-mental-health-siginificant-issue/

As a parent I often struggle with how much to encourage a broad set of activities to my son versus letting him pick a few he feels he is "good at". I never want him to feel it is OK to give up, but there is something to say for having a natural talent for one thing and focusing on that. Early specialization is the idea that the earlier a kid specializes in something, the more exceptional that human will become. In this episode we discuss this idea and what some psychologists think. We discus this article on today's episode.

The unknown is the root of many, if not all anxieties. Sometimes, the anxiety is not actually caused by the fear of bad happening, but rather, whether or not that bad will in fact happen at all. There are numerous scientific experiments that actually prover this theory correct. So what can we do about this fear of uncertainty and how can we teach our kids to not go down that rabbit hole? cWe discuss on Episode 96.

Facebook recently announced its name change to Meta, aligning with its focus on building a virtual reality internet. What does this mean? A place for people to escape the real world by entering a fake world where they can have coffee with friends, visit a cafe in Rome, or check out the ancient pyramids in Egypt. Sounds great right? The only problem is you aren't actually visiting with friends or a foreign land, you're at home sitting on your couch. What does this mean for our own and our kids mental health? We discuss on Episode 95.

Sleep. We all know a good nights rest matters, but how many of us actually get one. It's a vicious cycle. People with poor sleep habits are more prone to mental health issues and people with mental health issues are less likely to get good sleep. So what can we do about this and what does the data say? Let's talk about it. This podcast featured information from the following articles. https://www.aap.org/en/advocacy/child-and-adolescent-healthy-mental-development/aap-aacap-cha-declaration-of-a-national-emergency-in-child-and-adolescent-mental-health/ https://www.inverse.com/mind-body/sleep-mental-health-study

Touch is so powerful, more so than we think.. Evolutionarily, it is the most important way that mammals communicate safety to one another and as such, a touch has been shown to lower stress, alter heart rates, reduce anxiety, and promote calm. So what does the mean for our mental health and how can we us it to our advantage? We discuss on today's show. This episode references the following article: https://www.healthline.com/health-news/how-touching-your-partner-can-make-both-of-you-healthier#Touch-and-comfort-are-innate

Being afraid of something can lead to strong feelings of anxiety, even when that trigger is not present. Some of these fears go well beyond extreme anxiety and can be categorized and diagnosed as a phobia. Not all fears are classified as phobias and on Episode 92, we discuss what a phobia is, how it is different than general anxiety, and some strategies to utilize if you do have a diagnosable phobia. This episode references the following article: Article 1 Article 2

Instagram and Facebook have been associated with mental health issues amongst young people for quite some time, but the company has always downplayed it. This past week, evidence has emerged that Facebook conducted its own research and learned that in fact Instagram is harming the mental health of young girls in particular at high rates, and has done nothing about it. What does the evidence show and what does it mean? We discuss on Episode 91. This episode references the following article: Article on Instagram Discussed Wall Street Journal Article

Listening is not hearing. When we actively listen we are consciously receiving information and processing what it means. Through this process, the person sending the message feels comforted in knowing the person on the other end is thoughtfully engaged in what they have to say. This makes them feel relieved, safe, and help build confidence. Being an active listener goes beyond the benefits for the one telling the message as active listeners themselves are often less judgemental and less likely to create more stressful situations . Communication is the key to living a mentally strong life and not just saying what's on our mind. It's listening to people actively when they talk to you about those same things on their mind. Do you listen? Or just hear. On Episode 90 we discuss tips to become better active listeners. This episode references the following article: https://positivepsychology.com/active-listening/

Another school year in a pandemic, more mask mandates, and more angry parents screaming about the harm masks are causing their children. But what about that harm, is it real or made up? Do masks harm kids, in particular, do they affect their mental health now or down the road? I hear a lot of people talking about how COVID has affected kids mental health, and while this is very true, no evidence suggests it comes from the masks. In fact, masks are the way kids can be more mentally healthy by allowing them to go to school and interact with their peers safely. So what does the science say about masks and mental health of kids? We talk about it on Episode 89, Masks and Mental Health. This episode cited the following articles: Article 1 Article 2

Image courtesy of Laurence Griffiths / Getty Images By now most of us have heard about gymnast and Olympian Simone BIles withdrawal from Olympic competition citing mental health problems. And along those lines, I bet a lot of you heard some of the negative comments and criticism thrown her way calling her weak, immature, and a shame to our country. Over the past 5 years we have seen more and more celebrities come out and admit to their mental health suffering, and that has mattered to the conversation. But Simone Biles, the most decorated athlete and olympian of all time, pulling out of the Olympics because she just couldn't mentally do it is the most significant event in the mental health movement this far. And on today's episode, we talk about why. Image courtesy of Laurence Griffiths / Getty Images

Accepting criticism is not easy for most humans but I argue it is one of the best ways we can grow.  Often times we get defensive and act out of emotion  in response to criticism rendering that critique useless and the opportunity squandered. On today's episode we discuss ways to better open yourself up to critique, offer critiques as a parent, and why it matters to your mental health. Articles discussed on this episode can be found here: https://psychcentral.com/blog/imperfect/2016/05/7-tips-for-dealing-with-criticism-when-youre-a-highly-sensitive-person#Ask-questions

Being bored is viewed as a negative state, something we are constantly trying to escape. Feeling bored? Take your phone out and scroll, problem solved. Waiting on a line at the store? Boring. Take your phone out and scroll. While this may be temporarily satisfying, avoiding the ability to be bored and idle is doing long term damage to our brains by wiring them to constantly expect action and stimulation all of the time. Then, when the time comes for us to actually focused, our brains are no longer wired for that ability. How do we fix this? We learn and teach our kids to practice boredom, and on today's episode we talk about how. Articles discussed on this episode can be found here: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/science-choice/202004/5-benefits-boredom Article 2

As the pandemic is winding down, the mental health pandemic has already begun. In particular, anxiety rates have gone way up amongst all ages, and rightfully so. For the past year and half we have been isolate, scared, and unknowing of when and how things will change. All of these things are the perfect ingredients for high levels of anxiety. So how can we handle this as we emerge from the pandemic and keep our anxiety at bay? WE discuss on today's episode. Data reported in this episode comes from the CDC and found here: https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/nvss/vsrr/covid_weekly/index.htm

Having high expectations can cause stress and anxiety. The idea of tying some sort of pleasure or reward to something that may or may not happen is really just a disaster waiting to happen. But we humans do this all the time. It isn't wrong to set expectations for oneself, but it wrong to set too many, and in particular expectations that are just not realistic. So what can we do to lower expectations which in turn will make us focus more on what is happening now? We discuss on today's episode of the Better Mental Health Show. The following articles were used as a reference for this episode: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/your-neurochemical-self/201608/stop-anxiety-adjusting-expectations https://medium.com/personal-growth/the-secret-to-life-is-low-expectations-8f1a19377129 https://www.supportiv.com/tools/lower-your-expectations-avoid-disappointment

Another important lesson learned during the COVID pandemic was that smiling matters. As the world became masked, we quickly recognized how different societies are when we can't see someone's facial expressions, in particular a smile. Studies have shown that smiling can not only boost your emotional health, but also the person that you are smiling at. Why is this and what have we learned? We discuss on Episode 83. Information from the following articles was used on this episode: Article 1 Article 2

We care way too much about what others think. This is not an opinion, this is a fact. And in the age of social media, where everything is instantly shared and compared, it is almost impossible to escape. But caring too much about what others think can have grave consequences for out self-esteem and mental health. So why is it that we care so much about what others think and what are some ways we can stop? Join me as we discuss on episode 82, "What Others Think" Information from the following articles was used on this episode: Article 1 Article 2

Empathy is the ability to 'feel with' another person, to identity with them, and sense what they're experiencing. Anxiety is a feeling of uncertainty or fear caused by not being able to control or know what will or might happen. The more anxious we are, the more individualistic we become, and when that happens, the only thing we care about is ourself. Empathy is the exact opposite. It is wanting to be connected with others and share our common experience. Thus, the more anxious we are, the less empathetic we can be, and vice versa. The more empathetic we can become, the less anxious we will be. Today we talk about this concept and go though some actionable ways for us to be come more empathetic. Information from the following articles was used on this episode: Empathy: The Ability That Makes us Human Feeling Anxious? Being Kind Can Change That 5 Actionable Tips to Develop Empathy & Become a More Empathetic Person

April is designated as Month of the Military Child, a time to honor the sacrifices made by military families worldwide, with an emphasis on the experience of children in those families. This life of uncertainty can lead to a variety of mental health problems when kids are young and as they get older. But, research also shows that military kids are amongst the most resilient humans on the planet. On today's episode I talk about the unique situation and sacrifice military families/kids endure, offer my take on establishing a constant in the unknown, and my thanks for their sacrifice. Read more: https://www.dodea.edu/dodeaCelebrates/Military-Child-Month.cfm

Guard rails are a means to prevent or deter access to dangerous or off-limits areas. The most common of these are the guard rails we see on the high ways to prevent us from veering off the road and limiting damage during an accident. Our mental health is a progress, a road if you will, and without guard rails we run the risk of driving off the mental health road. So how do we establish some mental guard rails? What are some easy things we can do to be preventative about our mental health and deter access to some dangerous or off limit areas? We discuss on Episode 79.

It seems like whenever a mass shooting occurs, mental health or illness makes its way into the conversation. Why? Because mental illness is always tied to the cause and reason someone picks up a gun and goes into a store and kills people. But is that true? And better yet is it fair to further stigmatize mental illness and tie it to violence with no evidence just to avoid the inevitable conversation about guns? On this podcast I do my best to never push an agenda other than promoting mental health and I find it very dangerous to link gun violence with mental illness without any evidence to support it. So what does the data say about mental illness and violence? Are the mentally ill more likely to pick up a gun and kill someone else? We discuss on today's episode. On today's episode i reference the following articles. https://www.theweek.co.uk/102642/gun-violence-why-does-the-us-have-so-many-mass-shootings https://time.com/5645747/gun-violence-mental-illness/