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Play Episode Listen Later Nov 19, 2025 52:18

Healing Through Laughter: Dave Ebert on Comedy, Faith, and Overcoming Trauma In this episode, Diana rebroadcasts the interview of the late Dave Ebert, who passed away unexpectedly July 2, 2024. He discusses his journey from struggling with depression and contemplating suicide to becoming a renowned improv coach, pastor, and comedian. Dave, who founded Gifts for Glory Ministries, shares his early love for entertaining, the personal struggles he faced, and how faith and comedy became his tools for healing and helping others. He also explores his work with the Salt and Light Coalition, helping survivors of sex trafficking through improv, which aids in their communication skills and self-esteem. The episode delves into the importance of connection, trust, and the transformative power of laughter in overcoming trauma and finding hope. We hope you enjoy hearing Dave's legacy and timeless advice. You will hear the second interview of Dave and his wife's missionary work next episode. 00:00 Introduction and Sponsor Message 00:47 Meet Your Host, Diana 01:34 Introducing Dave Ebert 02:51 Dave's Childhood and Early Love for Comedy 03:45 Struggles with Family and Faith 07:30 Turning Point: Finding Faith and Purpose 10:57 Battling Depression and Suicidal Thoughts 21:04 The Power of Presence and Support 24:25 A New Beginning in Chicago 26:32 Starting a Faith-Based Improv Team 27:32 Creating Clean Comedy for All Ages 29:10 Using Comedy as a Ministry Tool 31:50 Connecting with Salt and Light Coalition 33:12 Teaching Improv to Trafficking Survivors 36:20 Stories of Transformation Through Improv 44:18 Current Projects and Online Improv Shows 47:16 Offering Support and Contact Information 50:47 Final Thoughts and Podcast Information Website: https://dswministries.org Subscribe to the podcast: https://dswministries.org/subscribe-to-podcast/ Social media links: Join our Private Wounds of the Faithful FB Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1603903730020136 Twitter: https://twitter.com/DswMinistries YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxgIpWVQCmjqog0PMK4khDw/playlists Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dswministries/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DSW-Ministries-230135337033879 Keep in touch with me! Email subscribe to get my handpicked list of the best resources for abuse survivors! https://thoughtful-composer-4268.ck.page #abuse #trauma Affiliate links: Our Sponsor: 753 Academy: https://www.753academy.com/ Can't travel to The Holy Land right now? The next best thing is Walking The Bible Lands! Get a free video sample of the Bible lands here! https://www.walkingthebiblelands.com/a/18410/hN8u6LQP An easy way to help my ministry: https://dswministries.org/product/buy-me-a-cup-of-tea/ A donation link: https://dswministries.org/donate/ Dave Ebert [00:00:00] Special thanks to 7 5 3 Academy for sponsoring this episode. No matter where you are in your fitness and health journey, they've got you covered. They specialize in helping you exceed your health and fitness goals, whether that is losing body fat, gaining muscle, or nutritional coaching to match your fitness levels. They do it all with a written guarantee for results so you don't waste time and money on a program that doesn't exceed your goals. There are martial arts programs. Specialize in anti-bullying programs for kids to combat proven Filipino martial arts. They take a holistic, fun, and innovative approach that simply works. Sign up for your free class now. It's 7 5 3 academy.com. Find the link in the show notes. Welcome to the Wounds of the Faithful Podcast, brought to you by DSW Ministries. Your host is singer songwriter, speaker and domestic violence advocate, [00:01:00] Diana . She is passionate about helping survivors in the church heal from domestic violence and abuse and trauma. This podcast is not a substitute for professional counseling or qualified medical help. Now here is Diana. Hello everyone. Thanks for joining us today. You know, I've been telling you there are many paths and tools for healing and comedy is one of them. I think you'll enjoy our podcast today, friends. Our guest, Dave Ebert is the founder of Gifts for Glory Ministries. Dave is an improv coach, speaker, pastor, actor, and improv performer with his wife Bobby, residing in Chicago, Illinois. Gifts for Glory is ready to provide high quality, clean family friendly entertainment and professional [00:02:00] improv coaching to survivors of sex trafficking. Hey, welcome to the show Dave. Hey, thanks so much for having me. I'm, uh, really looking forward to having our conversation. Your bio is so impressive. I had trouble. Uh, shortening it for the intro. I'm sorry, I, I try to provide enough information, but, uh, I, I could have probably shortened it, but maybe it's because I'm a pastor. I just like to embellish and go on for a long, long period of time. So we're gonna fill in the blanks here and throughout our time together, and I can't wait to hear some good jokes. We will. We'll see what comes up. I'm an improviser, so nothing's ever planned. So if there's a moment of funny, yeah, I just give God the credit and if there's not, it's just, I don't know. We'll see. So tell us about your childhood. Were you always funny or into comedy? I really [00:03:00] was, uh, one of the earliest pictures of me other than, you know, baby pictures, uh, was a old Polaroid of, uh, me flexing, like I was in a bodybuilding contest because we we're at the city pool. There was an actual, like a swimsuit or bodybuilding competition going on on the other side. And my parents and their friends were just there at the pool and I was like, no, they're not gonna get the attention. I'm gonna get the attention. So there's this picture of me flexing my little chubby 2-year-old arms and it was like, I, I love to entertain and I love the attention and trying to, uh, get people an opportunity to laugh. So yeah, pretty much my entire life, um. Uh, I, I just liked it. I enjoyed, and I lived off of people's laughter. Now, did you experience any trauma in your life? There were, um, there wasn't any like one singular event, like a, a massive. You know, tragedy. But my dad was in Vietnam. He was in the [00:04:00] Vietnam War, and he got in contact with that chemical agent Orange that, uh, I've heard about. And, uh, that just ravaged his body. You know, when he hit 30, he was, you know, a healthy, strong 30-year-old guy working in the trades, and he was disabled by the time he was. 37, 38, um, from heart attacks, from just loss of, uh, dexterity in his hands and uh, and losing his ability to even walk. And it was all, uh, just complications and, and complications from the agent Orange. And so we were living in Chicago at that. You know, when I was first born and then when he'd had his third heart attack, we had to move out of the city and get away from the fast pace of Chicago and went down to Virginia where it's a lot slower lifestyle, a little bit easier for him to handle that kind of stress. But over the next 20 or so years as his health failed, there were a lot of conflicts in the home [00:05:00] between he and mom, between he and myself, and, um, so it was. It wasn't a tragic event, it was just this long period of watching my dad lose his ability to do the things that men do, like work with their hands, play with their son, hang out with their son, things like that. And, uh, you're not able to handle that because we really didn't have a strong faith. Base. So there was nothing kind of anchoring us in that storm. Mm-hmm. And so it was over, you know, two decades that, you know, there's just a lot of little traumas. Little fights, uh, big fights and, and things like that. We said we were Christian and we went to church. Um. Uh, fairly regularly, uh, mostly for holidays and potlucks. Uh, but um, we, uh, we said we were Christian, but it kind of [00:06:00] only existed from 11 to 12 on, on Sundays. Uh, we lived decently. We weren't out killing people. We weren't doing drugs and like that, but, um, but we weren't really like practicing. We didn't say, you know, grace at meals. We didn't pray together. We, I don't think I ever saw an either of my parents actually open a Bible. So we were kind of Christians in name only. Um, we had the, the membership card went to the meetings, but we didn't actually do a lot of practicing outside of church. So kinda like Chris and dumb. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Kind of, kind of creases with a little bit more regular attendance because the church I grew up in, uh, or at least as a kid, they had a lot of potlucks. It, it was almost like the one way to guarantee people would come. It was like, yeah, we're gonna have a potluck to celebrate this this weekend. And I love the potlucks because there's always at least five to sometimes six, uh, different varieties of mac and cheese, and that's my favorite. Favorite. Yes. [00:07:00] Yes. Mac and cheese. Yes. Mashed potatoes. Mm-hmm. Mashed potatoes, uh, all sorts of desserts. And, uh, for your, your listeners, they won't know this, but if they see, you know, my headshot or whatnot, I, I'm not a small individual and I will put the blame firmly on that church. Where all the potlucks, oh, they fed me, but not spiritually. Oh. That's funny. So when did you meet the Lord for real? Well, my story's kind of unique or maybe it's not. Um, but for me it depends on what your personal theology is to interpret it. I. Going into my sixth grade year, uh, that, that summer before my sixth grade year, I went to a summer camp and I, uh, went, you know, we had devotions each night at a campfire. And I remember on Thursday night, the day before, the night before we're leaving. [00:08:00] Something at the devotion spoke to me and I said, on my way by myself, said That little sinners prayer of Jesus coming to my heart. I want to make you Lord. Um, and you know, I remember the prayer, I remember walking up that gravel driveway up towards the cabin. And, but like I said, it kind of hinted at there wasn't a lot of discipleship for young believers at my church. So. It was like, oh, I accepted Christ. What does that mean? What do I do with it? And so from that year. For many years after, I never really got truly discipled to understand what it meant to be a Christ follower. And through my depression and the, you know, just some of the choices I made, I kind of walked away from that. So if you believe that you can walk away from salvation, then you could say that I walked away from it. Uh, some believe once saved, always saved. So you can either choose that summer or you can look to, uh, January, 2013 when. Uh, [00:09:00] still wrestling, depression, still looking for purpose in life. I was walking to work, uh, on a Saturday morning and. There were these two kids from a local Bible college out there looking for people to witness to, uh, they had the, uh, tract, which, uh, for anybody that doesn't know tract is a small graphic novel that, uh, kind of tells the gospel story. And, um, so they were out there and there's really no reason for them to be there 'cause it wasn't a very populated area. Um, so there really wouldn't be a lot of people out there on a Saturday morning. So it was obviously a divine appointment. They gave me the track and they offered to pray for me, but I didn't, you know, I kind of blew them off. Said, yeah, I'm a Christian, I'm saved. Yeah, I'm good, but I gotta get to work. But because they were there, they passed out the track and because of a lot of stuff that was leading up to that moment, it was like, okay, God, I'm ready to submit. I'm, I'm ready. So that night I, uh, opened up my, uh, Rick Warren, purpose Driven Life. I started reading [00:10:00] my, uh, dollar General, uh, king James version Bible got all the way through Deuteronomy before. I was like, I need something simpler. Uh, yeah. But, uh, yeah. Um, those two kids, I don't know if I'll ever see them again, at least not in this life, but they were kind of the straw that broke the camel's back to where I made the decision because I was still wrestling with depression and I was literally at this place where I was on top of, I, I described it as I was on a peak of a mountaintop where. I was still considering, you know, taking my life so I could either go left and just take my life and, and end it once and for all, or I could go right and give my life and fully submit to God. And that was kind of the moment that kind of clenched it for me to take that step towards God and really for the first time, pursue a relationship with him. So that was in, uh, January of, uh, 2013. So let's unpack the. Part where you talked about you wanted to end [00:11:00] your life. What happened there? It was a, a culmination of a lot of things. I, I had a lot of dreams and ideals of what life should look like, and this started in, uh, junior high and high school. Um, and then, uh, you know, combine that with, uh, this struggle with my relationship with my dad. Um, you know, not ever quite being good enough because he always had, sometimes these. Surreal expectations and, and when I didn't meet them, I felt like a failure and, you know, just all these different things. Um, it just added up to one night. I remember, um, I was pursuing this, this young lady to date her in high school and you know, for the first time I was like, this might be the one that I actually get her to date me. And then, um. Afternoon, after I talked to her in the morning, I saw her walking, holding hands with somebody else, and that was. [00:12:00] Kind of the straw that broke the camel's back the other way, uh, to where I entered into that depression. And, uh, it just kept getting deeper. The more my dad and I fought, the more my mom and dad fought. You know, it just got deeper and through, um, my junior year, senior year high school, all through college, after college for many years, uh, through my first marriage, you know, just. That voice was always in the back of my head, you're not worthy. Um, no one's gonna truly love you. Um, might as well end the pain now. And so I just, I really wrestled with the idea of suicide. There were times that I was ready to do it, but I cursed myself for being too weak or too afraid to commit. But looking back, it was that, as the Bible calls it, the still small voice. That was, you know, just kind of coaxing me to don't give in just yet. Don't give in just yet. So looking back, obviously God was [00:13:00] there with me the entire time. It's just I didn't realize who that voice was or why I was not able to fully take that next step. It was because God was there trying to yank and pull me back from the edge. Wow. I'm sure a lot of our listeners can relate to, um, the things that you're saying right now about wanting to end it all. Now, did you cover up your depression, your feelings? Did anybody else know about that? I covered it. Um, as I mentioned, I love to entertain people, make people laugh. So it started off very, when I was very young. It was just this pure thing of enjoying the laughter and enjoying giving that gift to people. But when I entered the Depression, it became a defense mechanism where I would keep people from seeing what I was feeling and also try to prevent them from feeling the darkness I felt. If I could do that, if I could make somebody laugh, if I could [00:14:00] entertain somebody, if I could make somebody feel better, then I was able to justify living for the next week or the next day or what have you. And so comedy or making people laugh was where I found my worth and my value. And if I went too far and I offended somebody, if I hurt somebody's feelings, uh, or if I said something that just kind of embarrassed me. It went into the spiral where it was like, see, even the one thing you count on for value you fail at. And so it would spiral me and it was like, man, I just, I need to drive my truck off this cliff, or I need to, um, do this or that other thing to myself just, and I always wanted to leave it as an ac, you know, make it look like it was an accident. Um, whenever I really contemplated, uh, suicide because I didn't want the embarrassment. I didn't want people to judge me and say things about me, and I also didn't want the judgment to follow my [00:15:00] parents or anybody else because I didn't want them to be punished for what I was going through. So I always tried to make it or plan out to look like an accident. Um, one night I in particular, I remember driving home late at night through the mountain roads. It was maybe three or four in the morning, and I just was at this breaking point and I prayed. I said, God, if you don't want me to do this, gimme a sign. Do something. And if you think about Pure Flix movies or a Hallmark movie, you know, you think in that moment, all of a sudden the sky opens and the lights shines, and the angels come down. And, but in that moment, it felt like it got darker. It almost, it felt like, like God actually got quieter. Than, than I felt he had been. And so I got mad and I got angry at God. And I, I think I probably said a few curse words at him and, and said, you know, whatever. And I got mad and I drove [00:16:00] home. But here's the, the thing about it, I drove home. I didn't drive to the left off that cliff and. I, I say that that was a moment where God knew what I needed. It's not conventional, it's not what you would expect, but it's what I needed. 'cause he knew I'd go mad or I would get mad, and he knew that he would have to take some barbs from me in that anger. But it was God laying himself down for me in that moment so that I would go home instead of, you know, take my life. And that's just another thing that I look back on and say, wow, God was there this whole time. Wow. I've never contemplated suicide myself. I've had some really dark times with my, abuse history. Mm-hmm. Now I've had depression before. Mm-hmm. But it wasn't so much that I needed to take medication. Um, it was just this cloud of darkness and like [00:17:00] sitting in a pit. Yeah. That you can't get out of and it's no amount of positive thinking is going to do it. Right. It just took a long time to crawl out of that. These brilliant people, you know, we're talking about comedy and the most brilliant comedian was Robin Williams. Sure. And he was so funny. And, yeah. When he took his own life after battling depression, um, I really mourned his death. 'cause Yeah. Yeah. It, and that's one of the things where it shows that fame, fortune, having everything at, at your fingertips, it's not a substitute for. Anything because you look at Rob Williams, you think about even, you know, they don't classify necessarily as a suicide. You look, but you look at somebody like Chris Farley, uh, John Belushi, um, the lifestyle that those two guys [00:18:00] chose and the way that they treated their bodies was kind of a long term suicide because they did not take care of their bodies. And I'm not talking about being heavy. I'm talking about the drugs, the drinking, the things like the partying. For hours upon hours on end, it was they were trying to fill something in their soul that they couldn't fill. Um, so for, and I don't say these things as judgment. Mm-hmm. I say these things as warnings. Um, heads up. If you see somebody that is trying to fill their life with partying, find the time when they're sober and talk to them. See if there's something going on. Uh, and like you look at somebody like Robin Williams. It's a very hard thing to know how to handle that because you don't know what his family life was like. Did he have somebody in his, in his corner that knew what he is wrestling with and they were just happened to be gone in an, in the instant that he was the weakest? Um, [00:19:00] for me, I think one of the, the biggest things is if you see somebody or know somebody that could potentially be similar to where Robin Williams was at. Pray and ask for God to show you how to reach them, um, and be willing to pursue it. Um, it's, no, no two depressions are the same because no two people are the same. There's no blanket there, a, b, c methodology that's going to, like, if I do these three or four things, I'm gonna pull my friend out of what they're at. Because there's different triggers, there's different experiences, there's different chemical imbalances in the mind. So don't ever feel like a failure if you try to help somebody and you can't see results. Because some people, it takes time, some people it takes the miracle of God flipping a switch and healing whatever chemical imbalance is in the mind. Um, so my advice is always just keep [00:20:00] pursuing, um, because. Eventually there's gonna be a breakthrough it because somebody that's in that mode is going to see that they're not gonna give up and that's going to fly directly in the face of so many of the inner voices or, or the self-talk of, I'm not worth it, nobody's gonna really care. Or I, I'm a burden. But when you're continually pursuing, you are speaking against all that and you're giving evidence against that case. And we all know, especially, uh, as Christians, that those voices are of the enemy. So they're all mm-hmm. Of the king of lies. Yes. And when you can step in and bring the truth and bring the light, the enemy has no footing left. So that's always my advice, is just to keep pursuing him. It's worth it. It's worth being able to pursue somebody and give them [00:21:00] a chance to hope and a chance to fight against the lies of the enemy. Um, I never know what to say to somebody that's struggling with depression. I'm always afraid that I'm gonna say the wrong thing. Right. Um, so those, those suggestions are really, valuable because. I don't wanna push them too far, but I want them to know that I care. So, yeah. And, and here's the thing, and this is something that I, whenever I talk to people, I, I try to take this burden off your shoulders. It's not your job to save them. It's not your job to rescue them. It's your job to be there and let God do the saving. It is not, it's not your job. So whatever words you say, whatever things you say, it's not gonna matter because it's not gonna be really remembered. The mistakes or, or the, the bad choice words or whatever you say that doesn't [00:22:00] work, quote unquote work, it's not gonna matter. What's gonna matter is that person that you're pursuing, that you're fighting for is gonna remember that you were there. They're gonna remember your presence, not so much your words. Now, there'll be some times where God will give you wisdom and they'll remember those words of wisdom, but for the most part, part, they're gonna remember that you were there. Just like when you go to a funeral and you talk to the people that are grieving, uh, whether it's the widow or the widower, or maybe it's, uh, the child that lost their parent, whatever the case may be. They don't remember the words that you said as you go in the line. They remember your face, they remember the, the calming touch on the shoulder, on the hands. They remember that you were there and it was, it is very much the same for somebody that's in the dark pit of, of depression. If you're there constantly showing them love, willing to let them have [00:23:00] what I call verbal diarrhea and just get whatever they're wrestling without. They're gonna remember that you were there and they're gonna remember that, and it's going be that evidence to say, Satan, shut up. Amen. You're not telling the truth. This person is here. They see me as valuable enough to fight through this. So you're lies of I'm not worthy. Nobody loves me, nobody will miss me. Those are lies straight from the pit of hell, and that's where you belong. That's right. Wow. No, that's, that's really helpful comparing it to, um, a funeral. 'cause, uh, I just lost my brother December 5th and, yeah, and some people, they don't know the right things to say and, but you're right. I remember that. They cared about me. But yes. The fact that they took time to say, I'm praying for you, or let us know if there's anything we can do to help you meant a lot. So I appreciate that [00:24:00] advice for sure. Let's switch over something a little funnier. Sure. Okay. Than a funeral. Um, so speaking of Robin Williams, he was a guest on. Whose line is it anyway, and it was my favorite episode ever. And you started a Christian version of that show. Tell me more about that. Absolutely. So when I, uh, rededicated my life to the Lord in January of 2013, I knew that performing and being on stage was my calling. God was going to. Keep me in front of people, keep me entertaining people, but he's changing and he changed the reason why, instead of trying to hide how I felt and hide myself, I was now gonna use comedy as a way to reveal who he is. And I had no real opportunities, uh, in Beckley, West Virginia. Nothing against West Virginia. Uh, [00:25:00] I have a lot of friends back there. I had a lot of great experiences, but it wasn't where God wanted me. And so I was like, so God, where do I go? Do I go to Roanoke, Virginia, which is about three hours west in, uh, west in, in west in Virginia. Excuse me. And, uh, that's where my mom lived. Do I just move in with her and start over? And it was kind of like. You could, but that's not really where you belong. So I kept, like reading Rick Warren's book, I kept reading the Bible and finally in a, in a conversation, my sister, who doesn't really have a relationship with the Lord, but he used her. She said, well, if you want to, you can move up here to Chicago in, in, uh, start over here. And I said, are you sure? 'cause she was going to college at the time and I would be moving in on staying on her couch in her studio apartment. And I was like, are you sure? She's like, yeah, if, if you need. A new, you know, new start. And so six weeks later I left, uh, [00:26:00] West Virginia, everything I could pack in my truck I brought up. And I started completely over in, um, in March of 2013. And it was shortly thereafter, I started pursuing acting opportunities and opportunities to be in front of people. A couple of mo short films I got into, I realized after accepting the part, I shouldn't have done this role. Uh, this will be something that if I ever become famous, will be one of those things that they play to, to tease you when you get like a lifetime achievement award. Oh, yeah. Um, and then through Craigslist I connected with a, a, a guy, um, named Ryan McChesney. And he and I, uh, discussed, you know, doing, uh, movies together or something like that, uh, faith-based, and we said, well, we both like improv. He had gone through the second 30. Second City, Chicago Conservatory. I had, um, done a few classes at Second City, but uh, most of my acting and performing training [00:27:00] came from eight years of, uh, pro wrestling in, uh, West Virginia and Virginia. Um, so we thought, well, what if we started a faith-based improv team? There's nothing like that in Chicago. And we thought that there was almost nothing like that in the rest of the world. So, uh, we decided to start trying to cast and we, uh, brought two more people on. And my church at that time was, uh, very, uh, gracious in allow, allowing us free reign to use a building for rehearsals or anything else we wanted to do. And so we just started, uh. Creating an improv team and for anybody that's not really familiar with improv, uh, uh, Diana, as you mentioned, uh, whose line is it anyway, is kind of the same kind of improv that we do where it's, uh, game base where they'll give us a game with a scenario and certain rules within that game to follow, and the rest we make up. We make up the characters. The dialogue is completely made up. And the idea is not to try to be funny, but just to [00:28:00] try to respond in the moment because that's where the funny's gonna come from, is that just that creative mind that we have. It's going to find things that are funny in our natural reactions. And so what we do is we just create scenarios. It's basically like. A more organized way to play, pretend. Uh, we create characters, voices, points of view. And so we, and we don't do it based on the Bible because we don't want to ever. Get careless and misrepresent the Bible or say something. Oh, okay. That's fair. Uh, we don't wanna ever come across as a Christian improv team that is, uh, disrespecting the Bible. So we just do clean comedy that's accessible for all ages, whether you're five or 105. Um, we want you to be able to come and enjoy and laugh. And, um, we kind of filter it through [00:29:00] Philippians four, eight, whatever's pure and lovely and praiseworthy. If it kind of fits along that, then, uh, then we're good. Um, and we just, um. We go out and use it as a ministry tool. Uh, either we open for a speaker and use laughter as a way to tear down some walls and, and make people comfortable enough that they can hear it. Mm-hmm. Or we just do pure comedy with the love and the joy of Christ and allow our presence and the fact that Christ is coming in with us to somehow reach them on a spiritual level to where they'll either ask us, why are you guys clean? Why don't you curse? Or Why don't you do innuendo or blue? Right. Or they track us down on social media and they're like, oh, they're Christian, and they're funny and they're creative. Maybe God is more than I thought he was. I'm not naturally funny. Um, my husband is, and that's the, the thing [00:30:00] is. You don't have to be funny to be good at improv, you just have to be willing to listen and respond naturally. 'cause most of what's funny in our improv at least, is that people recognize either weird quirks, uh, about themselves or about people that they know or they recognize weird characters that they're like, that's Samantha from work. Oh my gosh. Um, and, and it's that recognition of, of the human experience because. We are so much alike. There we're, we are all more alike than we are different. Mm-hmm. And when we share those experiences, we realize that we're not alone. That we're not this weird thing in the middle of the world that has no connection. When we get a room with people laughing together, even if none of them know each other. They connect, uh, on this really interesting level. When they laugh together, they don't feel alone in that room. And that's why comedy is so important and effective in [00:31:00] speaking and in ministry. If you can get, get them to laugh, there's a wall that comes down to where now they're able to receive, uh, some information or receive the word or receive the message. And, uh, you know, that's what we love to do is to either. Set the ground for, uh, the speaker to bring the word, or to just simply be a light in that room to where there's a question, why, why are they different? And, um, that's what we do now. Uh, we've been, uh, this team has been running since, uh, July of 2013. Um, we've had a lot of changes, a lot of turnover, but the, the mission has always been the same is to just use comedy to bring people closer to God. So you can, definitely use comedy to heal people in their pain. And you got connected with, salt and Light Coalition. So tell us more about that. Sure. Uh, Salton Lake Coalition [00:32:00] is an organization that works with, uh, women who have survived sex trafficking. Um, many of the women that they serve, uh, were sold into trafficking by their parents at a young age. So many of them either have a very short, if. Or maybe a non-existent childhood to, uh, draw from. So they're very stunted in ma many areas as far as emotions, uh, uh, especially the ability now to trust people. And so, and most of them obviously have been hurt. Used and abused by men. Mm-hmm. So the fact that me as a guy was asked to come in and serve the weight of that is not lost on me. But I also see absolutely see benefit because here is a man in a healthy relationship with his wife, who is in a healthy relationship with the Lord, who can come in and bring that. As a model for these women to show that it is possible that [00:33:00] not every single man is a creep that's going to hurt you. Right? So, and I, I value that ability to, and that opportunity to bring that example, uh, to them. And I teach improv as a way to improve their communication because, uh, many of them, like I said, had, are stunted either, um. Educationally, either they were, they had to drop outta school because they were doing what their handlers or pimp or whatever you wanna call 'em, were making them do. And so I go and help them improve communication. Uh. Find and develop their self-esteem. Because when you're learning improv and you're creating stuff together, you're starting to realize, wait, I have a voice. I have something to say, and the things that I say can be valuable, and that only helps to improve the self-esteem. So they start realizing that all the stuff that I've been through in the past is my past and all the work that I'm doing [00:34:00] now to get back on my feet and rebuild my life. I'm worth it because I have something to say. I have something to contribute. So we do that through improv and, and at the end of the day, they get an hour where they can laugh like kids either for the first time or laugh like kids again because. And, and it, I don't say these things to brag on me. Mm-hmm. God put me in this position. There was, there's been several times where the women have, or a couple of the women have come in and you could see that they are literally carrying their world on their back. The burdens are there, the brow was furrowed. The, you could see in their eyes that they're waiting for somebody to say that one word so that they can explode on them. Mm-hmm. And part of what they have to do is they have to participate even if they're not feeling it. So they, they still get in the circle, they still participate in the games, and you can see literally. The, [00:35:00] that facade, crack and fall, you literally see them crack up and within five minutes of participating, the burden is gone. The, the fierceness in their eyes, the the anger or the frustration, or the hurt. It fades away. And they get to forget that and realize that there's hope, that there's something bigger than what they're wrestling with in that moment. And that has been such a huge blessing for me to be a part of that for the last couple of years. And, um, and like I said, it's, it's such a blessing to, to be a man in that position, to kind of be an ambassador, literally an ambassador for Christ, to show that it's okay to. To trust again. And I, and I love doing that. That is incredible. You know, I've had some training in sex trafficking, with Mending the Soul We have a program called Princess Lost. [00:36:00] Princess Found. Oh, okay. And I didn't know anything about sex trafficking before that, or at least I thought I did know. Mm-hmm. I, I thought of what the rest of the world thinks about, you know, prostitutes or sex workers, but it really, that training had opened my eyes. Do you have a story of one of those tough nuts that crack open with your comedy improv class? Yeah. Um. Specific, I can't mention names, obviously. No. Yeah. But, uh, the one lady I think of in particular, she's a single mom. She was, uh, sold by her mom into trafficking, for sex because her mom needed a. She needed a, a fix. And so she gets involved and then she gets traded, bought, and sold. Um, and the thing wa the thing that a lot of people don't realize is [00:37:00] people who are in that life, who are stuck, who are, who are trapped, they're not always stuck in some shady building off in the corner of, of the city, right? They're, they're still out walking around, they're going to the store, but. They're in such a way that they don't think they can escape and they don't know who they can trust. Mm-hmm. They don't know if the person that they're gonna talk to to say, Hey, I need help, is connected to this person that they're, that they're, uh, enslaved by. So they feel like they can't trust anybody. Even though that they're out walking around, they're, they're stuck. And they're also, many times they're forced to take drugs. Yes. So people will dismiss them when they see 'em. Like, oh, she's just a junkie. There are a lot of junkies, but there's also a lot of women and, and some men that are on drugs, either because they're trying to cope with what they're being forced to do, or it's part of what they're required to do in [00:38:00] order to survive. Um, and, and the, the, the pimps know that when they're on drugs and they're high people will dismiss them and won't really give them two looks. So all that to say is this, this young lady, she's, I think she's in her mid twenties now. Mm-hmm. Uh, single mom struggling to get her kids back because in, in the eyes of the court system, she's just a junkie. She, it, it doesn't matter why she was on drugs, it doesn't matter what caused her to be arrested for these different things. All that matters to them is that she, you know, you were high, you were on drugs, you have this in your system, you're not fit to be a mom. So she's trying to rebuild her life, trying to get her kids back and one day, I don't know, I don't know the details 'cause I don't really talk to get to know them much, just because they're trying. You don't wanna protect them. 'cause the fewer people that know the stories, know where they are, where they're [00:39:00] from, the better for them so that they can avoid getting. Found by the people that are looking for them. Mm-hmm. Because when a woman, escapes sex trafficking, that's property in the minds of the people that quote unquote own them. Yes. And they don't like to lose property because they're losing profit. So. You know, I know very little about them. I know their, I know their first name. I know a little bit about their story. Some of their stories come out as, you know, part of the improv, but she's trying to get her life back together. She comes in and she's the one that I always envision when I talk about the cracking up. She came in and I swear, I I, there was a moment where I was worried, it was like, is she gonna fly off on me if I say the wrong thing? 'cause she just looked angry at the world. Mm-hmm. And, uh, fortunately, and obviously they're not gonna leave me in the room alone, so there's a couple of the Salton light [00:40:00] volunteers there just to supervise and to coach and say, Hey, you need to go ahead and get in a circle and, and participate. You know, this is part of the program. And so. She came in, arms are crossed and she's just looking down at the ground. And so I just changed my plan and I opened up with, uh, a warmup that I knew everyone enjoyed. Um, and it's a silly game. It's called Bippity bippity bop. And, and so this game, uh, somebody's in the middle of the circle, they go around the circle and it's, it's a quick response game. I'll look at you and, and if I say Bippity bty bop, you just have to say the word bop before I get to bop. And then there's other layers to that game. So I start the game and say, all right, so we're gonna warm up with bip bippity bop. So I go around the circle and there are a couple times where like, as I'm going around the circle, I look at her like, I'm gonna give her the, you know, [00:41:00] the, the, uh, interaction. But then I go past and then I come back, and then I get her the first time it's like pip bop. She, you know, obviously wasn't ready 'cause she's not. Fully into it. So she goes, all right, un crosses her arms, walks in the circle, starts doing it, and as soon as she starts participating you, that's when it starts cracking up. And she starts laughing and, and having fun. And she became, she was two people. The first five minutes, she was one person. And then once she started to laugh, she was a completely different person. And it's like. God, this is why, this is why I'm here. And again, it's not, Hey, Dave Ebert's wonderful. You know, toot the horns. It's like, God put me in this position to use my testimony, my story to, and my experiences to try to help in the healing process of, of some women that desperately need healing and desperately need to know the love of [00:42:00] Jesus. I love that story. You know, the biggest thing I learned in, in my training that I went through was a lot of these women are in this predicament. At no fault of their own, they were mm-hmm. They were groomed or they were kidnapped, or they were, you know, trafficked by somebody that they trusted. Mm-hmm. Or they should have been able to trust and that these, these ladies and some gentlemen, by the way, are people. Valuable people, loved by God. They're not trash and not somebody that we throw away or toss aside, they are, they are children of God and they need Jesus too. Yeah. And, and these are all people that, and I, I don't like think, or in my heart, I don't believe that Jesus means this. In his language, but he's talking to us in our language when he talks about the least of these. Mm-hmm. Because he loves us and [00:43:00] God loves us equally. And there is no true least in God's kingdom. But I think it's, it's Jesus dumbing down the language so that we would understand. And that's why he is like what you do to the least of these you do to me. So yeah, there are people who. Are out there who are high on their own accord, doing their own thing, that are just throwing their lives away because they think it's fun. But you don't know until you know. So don't, I would just ask, never dismiss somebody because they look like a junkie. Mm-hmm. Or they look like they've made some bad choices. 'cause maybe they have, or maybe they're stuck in a situation. And I would always encourage, if nothing else, pray for them. Mm-hmm. And maybe in that prayer time, God's like, Hey, that that's somebody that needs you. But if you're willing to just dismiss everybody 'cause they look like they're scarred from injections or they, their face is broken out from different [00:44:00] things, if you just dismiss 'em automatically, then you're blocking God from reaching you to tell you, hey, they need your help, and God's just gonna have to find somebody else. And you're gonna miss the blessed opportunity to reach somebody that needs the love of Christ. Amen. What are you up to now? You have any new projects in the works coming down the pike? When you said, what are you up to now? I was gonna say six foot two. Um, yeah. Right now, uh, because of, uh, the global thing that's going on and I'm in Illinois, so. Theaters aren't open. We're not doing much as far as the comedy. Um, you know, so everybody's kind of focusing on their family. One of the things I have been doing is connecting with other Christian improvisers and, uh, we're, uh, doing. Semi, uh, maybe once a month. Uh, comedy shows where we just get together and we've never practiced before. We've never rehearsed, but we're gonna [00:45:00] put out, uh, some shows where people can just watch online, watch us improvise and participate. Uh, those, uh, will broadcast live on my Facebook page, and I'll advertise those that you know about a week in advance once we get people able to commit to a date. Um. And the, our first one that we did, we had somebody from West Virginia, somebody from Arkansas, two people from Texas, and Oh, had one person, uh, from Ohio, I believe. So we had like a conglomerate of people from all over the, the nation coming in. Uh, we've never practiced before, but we did improv and. Improv and Christianity are so much alike because to do good improv and to be a good Christian, quote unquote good Christian, you need humility. You need to be willing to support the other person, and you need to be willing to love the other person so that they're successful. Um, so when you come into an improv stage as a Christian [00:46:00] improviser. I mean, you've got all the tools just built in. And so we go, we perform online, we're willing to support each other and it makes it really fun. Now, the way we do it, we don't have crowd, you know, reaction, but because we're together, we kind of know what's funny and we're like, okay, this is, you know, we can laugh at each other. And, uh, just really a lot of fun. It's nothing like the real improv of being on stage and no. Intimate experience, but it's a good substitute. It, it's a good gap filler until we can get past all of what's going on. Yeah. Saw your, your post on, Christian Creatives are on the same group. Yeah. And I'm gonna see if I can try and watch that. That'll be fun. This has been great. I, I so appreciate you coming on the show today and putting up with the, uh, the Zoom demons earlier, and I know you don't do this for, [00:47:00] reward or pat's on the back, but. From me to you, thank you so much for what you do for the Lord and what you do for these ladies, because you are changing people's lives and making a difference. So thank you very much. Thank you. So tell the folks how they can connect with you if they wanna know more information about your ministry. Sure. Well, I actually have three primary things that I'm involved with. GIF for Glory is the kind of the umbrella over everything. Uh, you can find us on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook at gifts, the number four, glory. And uh, that's where my podcast is. That's, uh, kind of the over um. Corp corporate umbrella over, um, my personal, uh, speaking in improv coaching where you can find me at, real Dave Ebert. Um, there's actually another comedian who's also from the Midwest, uh, not a Christian, [00:48:00] uh, who's, his name is, uh, Dave or David Ebert. So, uh, so I beat him to the punch and I took the real Dave Ebert. Oh, glad you mentioned that. Um, which is hilarious. 'cause on Twitter I'll often get tagged in things that. I have nothing to do with Christianity or ministry, and it's like kind of embarrassing. Totally. And so I'll respond and I'll be like, Hey, I think you meant this guy. Um, but uh, thanks so much for the shout out. You don't want the credit for some dirty joke. Right, right. Yeah. I mean, I, I. Unfortunately, before Christ really took over my life there, I did say quite a few dirty jokes, especially in wrestling locking rooms. Um, but uh, that's washed by the blood and forgiven and mm-hmm. Um, but yeah. Uh, so at real, Dave Ebert is how you can find me. And there is one thing I do like to, uh, share on any every interview. Is, um, if there's somebody out there that hears this podcast and you're [00:49:00] somebody that's wrestling with depression or considering suicide, uh, my email box is open to you, uh, 24 hours a day. Uh, it goes directly to my phone, and this is an email address. I'll always keep active. So if in 2035 somebody picks up this podcast, that email will be available barring rapture. Um. Yeah, and I say that tongue in cheek, but, uh, if you're somebody that's wrestling, I really want to hear from you and wanna walk you through it. Uh, my email address is Dave at gifts, the number four glory.com. dave@giftsforglory.com. And, uh, I'm not gonna preach at you. I'm not gonna just copy and paste a bunch of scripture. I just want to hear what your story is and I wanna walk with you through it. I know that. In my depression. For me, I feel like had somebody had that option where I could talk to somebody that didn't know me, that didn't have preconceived ideas, that I'm, I would've been willing to just open up. And I'm [00:50:00] hoping that, uh, even one person, if you need that and you just, and I refer to it earlier, that verbal diarrhea, just like, let let it pour out. Uh, my dad was a military man. I was in wrestling for eight years. There's not a curse word I haven't heard. So if you need to curse in your email, don't feel like, oh, he's a pastor. I gotta edit. No, don't worry about that. Just tell me what you're want. A safe person, uh, yeah, and I wanna be there and I want to help in any way I can. If it's just listening and reading your email and just sending a few words back, that's what I wanna do. So that's open for you for, and if you're somebody that knows somebody that's not able to ask for help, uh, you know, contact me and I'll be happy to, uh, to do what I can. That is so awesome. Thank you so much for, for being a resource for, for the listeners, and I hope those that are listening will take advantage of that opportunity. And I love your podcast. [00:51:00] I listen to your podcast every week and you have some great guests on there. And we seem to agree on a lot of, um, things that I won't mention. I don't talk about politics on the show, but yeah. We seem to be on the same page on a lot of things. So thanks again for, for coming on the show tonight. Thank you so much. You as well. And, uh, I hope that, uh, uh, DSW Ministries takes off in the new year and that, uh, you meet every goal that, you've, that you've set forth. God bless you, Dave. Now I'll put all of his information in the show notes for everybody. You are never a victim when you choose to take action. Remember that friends, so we will see you all next week. God bless. Thank you for listening to the Wounds of the Faithful Podcast. If this episode has been helpful to you, please [00:52:00] hit the subscribe button and tell a friend. You could connect with us at DSW Ministries dot org where you'll find our blog, along with our Facebook, Twitter, and our YouTube channel links. Hope to see you next week.

Forgiving the Nightmare: Mark Sowersby EP 219B

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Play Episode Listen Later Nov 5, 2025 57:19

In this episode of the Wounds of the Faithful Podcast, host Diana Winkler interviews Pastor Mark Sowersby, who shares his powerful testimony of overcoming childhood abuse and finding forgiveness and healing through faith. Mark recounts his early life filled with abuse, meeting Jesus at 16, and wrestling with his identity as a victim. Through the love of his church community and personal determination, he not only found freedom but also pursued education and ministry. He also speaks about reconnecting with his birth father and how the loss of his mother catalyzed the launch of his ministry, 'Forgiving the Nightmare'. The episode serves as an inspiring account of transformation, resilience, and the power of unconditional God's love. 00:00 Introduction and Sponsor Message 00:47 Welcome to the Podcast 01:25 Introducing Pastor Mark Sowersby 01:40 Technical Difficulties and Apologies 02:17 Pastor Mark's Testimony 05:49 Childhood and Abuse 07:10 Finding Faith and Forgiveness 18:06 Weight Loss Journey and Healing 23:08 Dyslexia and Education Struggles 24:42 Writing a Book and Ministry 28:14 Reading the Bible: Audio vs. Written 28:27 A Life-Changing Christmas Story 29:20 Overcoming Illiteracy with Help 30:14 A Love Story Blossoms 30:56 College Journey and Divine Guidance 32:49 Answering the Call to Ministry 33:13 Struggles with Self-Worth 35:15 Finding Confidence in God 35:56 Weight Loss and Self-Love 40:01 Victim to Victor: A Personal Transformation 45:00 Reuniting with Birth Father 48:20 Launching Forgiving the Nightmare Ministry 54:40 Final Thoughts and Prayer website: www.forgivingthenightmare.com email: mark@forgivingthenightmare.com Bio: Reverend Mark Sowersby has been married to his wonderful wife Jennifer for 17 years and is the father of four children. Mark has been an ordained minister with Assembly of God for over 25 years and is currently the Pastor of Christian Assembly of Schuyler in beautiful upstate New York. Pastor Mark holds a BA in theology from Zion Bible College/Northpoint Bible College. In 2019 Pastor Mark went through a time of great healing. He began speaking about the experiences of his past and God's grace and the transformational work of forgiveness in his life. He now speaks about his story through his ministry, Forgiving The Nightmare. When he isn't serving his congregation and his community through ministry, teaching, and support, you can find him on all the trails and lakes in Upstate New York, spending time with his family. Website: https://dswministries.org Subscribe to the podcast: https://dswministries.org/subscribe-to-podcast/ Social media links: Join our Private Wounds of the Faithful FB Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1603903730020136 Twitter: https://twitter.com/DswMinistries YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxgIpWVQCmjqog0PMK4khDw/playlists Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dswministries/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DSW-Ministries-230135337033879 Keep in touch with me! Email subscribe to get my handpicked list of the best resources for abuse survivors! https://thoughtful-composer-4268.ck.page #abuse #trauma Affiliate links: Our Sponsor: 753 Academy: https://www.753academy.com/ Can't travel to The Holy Land right now? The next best thing is Walking The Bible Lands! Get a free video sample of the Bible lands here! https://www.walkingthebiblelands.com/a/18410/hN8u6LQP An easy way to help my ministry: https://dswministries.org/product/buy-me-a-cup-of-tea/ A donation link: https://dswministries.org/donate/ Transcript: [00:00:00] Special thanks to 7 5 3 Academy for sponsoring this episode. No matter where you are in your fitness and health journey, they've got you covered. They specialize in helping you exceed your health and fitness goals, whether that is losing body fat, gaining muscle, or nutritional coaching to match your fitness levels. They do it all with a written guarantee for results so you don't waste time and money on a program that doesn't exceed your goals. There are martial arts programs. Specialize in anti-bullying programs for kids to combat proven Filipino martial arts. They take a holistic, fun, and innovative approach that simply works. Sign up for your free class now. It's 7 5 3 academy.com. Find the link in the show notes. Welcome to the Wounds of the Faithful Podcast, brought to you by DSW Ministries. Your host is singer songwriter, speaker and domestic violence advocate, [00:01:00] Diana Winkler. She is passionate about helping survivors in the church heal from domestic violence and abuse and trauma. This podcast is not a substitute for professional counseling or qualified medical help. Now here is Diana. Welcome back. You made it well. I have a great guest for you today. I told you about him last week. Pastor Mark Sowersby and he has knocked this interview out of the park, and we had an amazing time. We did not have an amazing time with the Zoom platform. I could not hear him, but he could hear me, and it was a half an hour of back and forth trying to get it to work. So I wound up having to record this episode on our phones with the earbuds. So I don't normally do [00:02:00] that. I usually have my $300 studio microphone. So if it doesn't sound as good, I apologize. But this content is so great that I think you'll forgive me, but I'll try to do some, post-production, to make it sound better. So without further ado. Here is Pastor Mark. Yeah. Nice. Nice to meet you. Yes, nice to meet you also. And I saw your wife there too, so, and I think you saw my husband's beard anyway. Yes. And my wife is the strength and the brains of this operation around us. I'm blessed. I'm a blessed man there. Amen. Thank you. Yes. So we got the, um, the technical, uh, demons outta the way. Well, I appreciate that. We tried two computers and my Apple phone. And I have to tell you, I am a novice at computers at best, so Yeah, me too. So we're kindred spirits for sure. Amen. Amen. And I read your testimony about your [00:03:00] website and your faith and your podcast and everything. What a beautiful testimony you have. Oh, thank you so much. So you, you're in Arizona, is that correct? Yes. Wow. Wow. Well, I have to tell you of one of my bucket lists because I'm a northeast guy. I'm a New England, New York. We have snow. It's freezing. They're saying we could have a possible blizzard tomorrow. Uh, I love that. Go to the Grand Canyon. That's my, on my bucket list. My, my family. Hear me speak about that all the time. I've never seen it. But I long to, let me tell you, it's more breathtaking than you can imagine. The pictures don't do it justice. I've been there many, many times, of course. And yes, you should come as soon as you're allowed to travel. I would be over here. Yeah. There's so much more to see. We long to go. We really want to see it. You know, if somebody said, you really see the significance when you look at that great canyon and you see how [00:04:00] small you are, it humbles you and reminds you of what a great big God we serve. So, you know, we just, uh, amen. Thank you for hearing my story and my testimony, and it's an honor to be here with you and celebrate the victories that we have in Christ. Amen, brother. We're gonna get to know you a bit here for my listeners. So why don't you tell the, listeners a little bit about yourself. My name is Mark Sowerby. I'm a husband, a father, a friend. I'm a sports fan. I eat too much. I talk too much, but I'm a pastor and a servant of Jesus Christ. I was looking at all your pictures and stuff, and I saw your progression of your weight loss. That is so amazing. Thank you. Thank you. And my weight loss journey is really just a symptom. Or result of the greater healing that's taken place in my life. Uh, I'm very proud of it. It's something [00:05:00] I have to work hard for and be very disciplined in. So yes, there's a work towards it, but really it's the sub to the main plot. The main plot is what Jesus did in my heart to help me forgive and help me heal the abuses and the pains. And as that began to fill my life, this weight loss journey with the discipline and that burning good habits and exercising, and I'm up to running, uh, six miles a day on the treadmill. So, wow. Six miles. Yeah. So well, remember, we're not in Arizona heat, so it's not hot, well, I have a treadmill. That's usually what I exercise on. I have an exercise room, I don't run unless somebody's chasing me or the laxative has started working. Those are good reasons to run. so let's start at the beginning. So what was your childhood like? Well, unfortunately I have a story of brokenness, pain, and sorrow. I was born from an affair. Uh, so my [00:06:00] father never really had a relationship with him. I am assuming that as soon as he, uh, got the news, he, he left. So I was raised by my mom. I have two siblings that my mom had from a prior marriage. So the three of us kind of lived together at my grandmother's house, and that's what I knew. That was what life was. I was seven years old. A young man came into our family, and that young man eventually married my mom 20 years, her younger, and when he came into our home, he brought abuse and pain. He brought death and destruction. He brought lies and poison. And as any abuser, those abusers have touched many people. And as not only did he abuse my mom in a and. With just vulgarness and pain, but he also abused me and with sexual abuse and physical abuse and emotional abuse. And it was just a very difficult time in my life. So from seven to 14, that's kind of the world I knew. Not only did he abuse my body, not only did he steal from [00:07:00] me, my dignity, my value. Not only did he try to control me, but he also sold me for other men to abuse me. Mm-hmm. Other men to take my body. He stabbed me and beat me and burnt me. And at 16, I was invited to church, I ran into a youth group. And, uh, there's a whole story in that. But let me tell you, I ran into youth group and I ran into Jesus. Jesus was Amen loving. Amen. Jesus's loving arms. He wrapped him around me and started me on the journey, journey of forgiveness. And it's been a journey up. I just turned 50. We just lost my mom earlier this year. Wow. They say a flu. Some say COVID, but we lost her earlier this year and it was really kind of a season for me to walk through some even deeper, deeper healing. We have a lot in common. 'cause I just lost my brother this week. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry for your loss. Yeah. So we both have losses today. Yes. Yes. I'm so [00:08:00] sorry for your loss. You as well. Thank you. Your mother was a believer? She was at the end of her life. As we say, the 11th hour of Thief on the cross remember me. Mm-hmm. My mom did have one of those kind of conversions. Unfortunately, she never, the last few years of her life, she came to understand Jesus, but she never forgave herself or forgave. Her pain. She lived with the regrets and the shames and the guilt of her pains. She knew the love of Christ, and I believe that when she closed her eyes on this earth, she opened her eyes there because of what Christ did for her. But she carried this burden of shame and guilt and hurt. But I forgave her, not because I'm special, not because I'm better. I forgave her because Christ forgave me. And in that journey of learning with to forgive people say to me, how could you forgive such a great thing? I just forgave what was in front of me. That's it. Step by step, precept by precept. That's how I forgave. I [00:09:00] couldn't think about the whole journey all at it was too hard. What's in front of you? Well, we'll definitely get into, your process of forgiveness. Would it be okay to, circle back to your stepfather coming into your life? Now it sounded like it was a very violent to way he treated you. Did he do any grooming of you to start the abuse or was it violent right away? I believe there was grooming, again, being so young and, uh, being so, uh, naive. I probably didn't recognize it, but I'm sure there was grooming you know, there was this natural longing. From a child without a father to find a father figure. Mm-hmm. Um, being so young, not understanding the process of that, and any person that would gimme attention, I would run to them to try to find somebody who would govern me or lead me or [00:10:00] guide me or accept me. So I'm sure there was some manipulation in that, as I became more groomed or broken or became more pliable, if you would, because of my young immaturity. He began to have more of his way on it, just so you know. And I always refer to him as my mother's husband. Never as my stepfather? Yes. Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah. Oh, no, you didn't offend. No, I have forgiven him. I think in forgiveness, it's okay to have, uh, some boundaries. Sure. I think that, to have some healthy boundaries, I've forgiven him. I've put him in the hands of God, and I pray the grace of God will meet him and his pain and his sorrow, and only God can reach him. Uh, but again, there's some healthy boundaries around my life and my families. So what was your relationship with God when you were going through all this abuse? We grew up in a very religious home. I was a New England Protestant, so most of New England are [00:11:00] Irish Catholic, Italian Catholic, Polish Catholic, French Catholic. But I was the rare Protestant. And I remember saying to my grandfather one day, I asked him, I said I, well, let me back up and say, I always knew what I wasn't. I knew I wasn't a Catholic, but I didn't know what I was. So, grandpa used to tell us we weren't Catholic. He announced that pretty clearly. But one day I asked him, I said, then if we're not Catholic, what religion are we? And all he said was, go ask your mother. So, you know, we didn't really grow up in any kind of. Formal faith-based community, uh, you know, sometimes went to Christmas Eve service, you know, those kind of what we call Sea Easter and Christmas. The CE. The CE crowd. That's right. But it really wasn't, a church was not a part of my life. We knew God was there, be good and you go to heaven, be nice to people, you go to heaven. But there really wasn't a faith-based situation. I'll be honest with you, uh, the [00:12:00] only religion I got, or the only faith I got was the one album that was played in our home. It's not a Christian album, it was Jesus Christ Superstar. I'm a kid of the seventies. Yes, I'm very familiar with that. Yeah. And but God's name is so powerful now as a Bible college graduate, as a pastor, I could see all the holes of the theology in that and how it was really written, dragged down the gospel. They say Jesus Christ, and as a child, that name is so powerful. So, I mean, I didn't know anything. So here I was, I, I remember seven years old with a big headset on sitting in front of the speakers and listening to Jesus Christ Superstar. And, and now I realize what a mockery it was. But then just the name has power. Yeah, there was no resurrection in that movie. No, no, no. You know, when you have Mary Magdalene sing to, to him and say, you're just a man, [00:13:00] only a man. I mean, it's such a mockery. But again, at eight years old, 10 years old, I thank God that all truth belongs to God. Amen. And his name is so, amen, powerful. Amen. That every knee shall bow and every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord. And as that name, Jesus was smoking, it pierced my darkness. Now, I didn't know about crying out. I didn't know about prayer, but God was preparing me for such a time. And at 16 the lifeguard at the apartment complex invited me to church. She was a pretty girl, and I didn't wanna say no. Uh, she invited she invited me and picked me up with her boyfriend. Oops. We went, yeah, we went to church that night and there began my journey into meeting Christ, knowing his mercy and grace into my faith walk and it's been a journey ever since. So is that when you, met the Lord for real [00:14:00] and got saved? Exactly, I was 16 years old. It was the early part of the summer and I went to that youth group and everybody told me that. To throw away my rock and roll music and to cut my hair and take my earring out. And everybody wanted to hug me and I didn't wanna be hugged by anybody. It's an evangelical Pentecostal church. And I was like, I don't, yeah. But come to find out, the youth pastor lived in the same apartment complex I did. I had a ride to church anytime it was open. So, later on that summer, mid-August, I remember a man inviting me, a young man from the youth group. It was raining. He was giving me a ride home. We got into his car and he asked me right there, uh, mark, do you wanna ask Jesus Christ to be your Lord and Savior? And we prayed right there the sinner's prayer. And I recognized the grace of God and the mercy of God and the Spirit of God. And at 16 years old, I asked Jesus Christ to be my Lord. And I thank him that he was calling me at such a time. So, and then I [00:15:00] had to grow up. Wow. And then I had to grow. I was still 16 with a messed up background and, still was spilling life all over myself. But that church loved me. They hugged me and kicked me in the can at the same time. Now were you out of your mom's house? Away from your abuser? Well. When the abuse first became, and I don't wanna say public, but when it became outside of the family when I meant the first person I confessed it to or, or shared it with, was my uncle. And I think that people have to remember my abuse happened from 19 7 7 to 1984. And the awareness and the advocacy that's out there today wasn't there then. And things like this happen behind closed doors. And I think culturally, not everybody, but culturally in most families said, we keep that stuff behind closed doors. We don't share it. We handle it as families. I told my uncle at [00:16:00] 14 years old. He was the first person I confessed to, and I ended up living with my uncle for about a year. He became my defender. So from about 14 to about 15 and a half, I lived with my uncle, and about 15 and a half I moved back with my mom. And yes, her husband was still there. But he, uh, he was very sickly at this time. So, he wasn't able to hurt me physically anymore. And I was strong enough to not allow anybody to hurt me anymore. So Now you said the word confess. Well, you didn't do anything wrong. Thank you. I, yeah, I just meant, I told. You shared your story, your abuse, uh, your victimization. So yeah. You don't have to apologize for anything. Amen. Thank you. That's right. It was probably a poor choice of words. I was just reading. I announced to my uncle, or I, I shared out, I took it out. I took it outta that simple family unit that I would tell my mom, [00:17:00] my mom having so much hurt and pain in her life, didn't know how to handle that. And just would say, well, he promises not to do it again. And he promised not to do it. And of course, so in a lot of ways I felt like my mom was a victim. And, and. Even though I've had to learn to forgive my mom because of what she allowed to happen, but in some ways, not that I justify it, but I've begun to understand it. Because she was abused by her first husband who broke her heart because, uh, just pain who had many affairs on her, and she was so broken down, so hurting and she did not understand love. I think she, um, interpreted love in a very, uh, trying to think of the word here you know, an enabling way. My mom was more of an enabler and I think she interpreted her love in enabling. So she enabled people. I mean, it sounds like [00:18:00] codependency. Was that the word you're looking for? Yes. Okay. Yeah. Thanks. So you struggled with your weight for years. Was that a symptom of your. Abuse your childhood? I, I think it was, you know, I'm, I'm not a psychologist or, a social worker. I'm a preacher, but you know, I think what I was trying to find in food was comfort, friendship. It always accepted me, uh, it comforted me when I was having a bad day and it rewarded me when I was having a good one. But like any drug, if you would, it lies to you. And it says, Hey, is everything will be okay. Just have a little bit more, have a little bit more, and, it just is. So for me, food became my drug of choice. Mm-hmm. Uh, it became where I found comfort, found peace, found acceptance. I punished myself with it. Boy, I'm no good. I'm going to eat ice cream. Oh, I'm having a great day. I'm gonna eat [00:19:00] ice cream. So, you know, it was one of those things. Uh, what I tell people is that I wish I could say to you that, that God has taken away all the hurt, all the pain, all the sorrow. It's still there in my life. It's still a familiar. Familiar pain that continues to call to me. But what God did is he became bigger. He became bigger than the pain. He became bigger than the shame. He became bigger than the hurt. So is it still there? Sure. And the flesh wants to run to it. And the psyche wants to run to it because I know it, it's comfortable. I, I know my role there. I, I understand what my protection and my manipulation that I can find there. But God became bigger. God became bigger. You know, I was telling a friend today, and I climbed a mountain after I lost about 50 pounds. I climbed a mountain. And it was about a half a mile long. And to me it was Everest. It was the biggest mountain in the world. And it took me hours [00:20:00] to go up and I had blisters on my feet and bruises on my toe. I was very proud that I climbed it. But after I lost about a hundred pounds, I climbed the biggest mountain in the state of New York called Mount Marcy. And what was the difference between those two mountains? One was bigger and I think that's the same thing. What happened to me is that even though that sometimes the enemy wants to try to bring me back to those familiar pains, those familiar insecurities, those familiar foes, God became bigger. His word, his spirit his love all became bigger. And I have to hold onto that and I have to claim, not claim it, but I have to run into it. You know, I have to run into that every day. So. Oh, you would love the mountains here. We have so many mountains to climb. So yeah. If you come to Phoenix, then we'll have to go hiking together. Yes. I wanna see that Grand Canyon. I wanna come to Phoenix. I am a New Englander, but it's cold [00:21:00] all the time here. But I hear that you guys leave for the summer and go back in the winter. We leave for the winter to warm places because it's so hot in Phoenix in the summer. Yeah. We're not snowbirds. We are here all year. Now we get to 110 every year. That's, that's normal. It gets to 120 here every summer. But this year it was 55 days of 110 degrees. Wow. Which, um, that killed all my plants and, uh, two of my trees, so Wow. Yeah, it's 70 degrees outside now, but in the summertime it's brutal. Wow. Don't come in the summer. Come in the winter. Okay. I, um, I did get to do a mission chip for Juarez, Mexico, which is obviously south of you guys and a little east, but at the same time, I got a touch of hot weather and I have done a lot of missions trips to Central America and the Caribbean, but they do have a different climate because of the sea and the water. So it's not that dry heat. [00:22:00] It's, definitely that, more moist, heat. Yeah, I think you'll do fine. Like I said, I looked forward to it. We were just in Israel in, November November, 2019, and it was 85 degrees. In Jerusalem and I roasted, I had such a hard time because the elevation was different and the humidity from the from the sea. Yeah. I don't know if you've been to Israel, I have not. Another, another bucket list, yeah yes, definitely recommend that for sure. Thank you. My wife and I, we love to travel. You know, we, we have four children, so right now our kids are in the ages of 15 to seven, so we are right in the midst of it. You know, we're, we're mom and dad, taxi and, and we homeschool. So my wife is going a hundred miles an hour all the time. Pastor wife. Homeschool mom and she's taking care of [00:23:00] me. So, I mean, this is, God bless her. If there's a hero in this story, it's my wife. Your wife's a homeschooler. Um, you had said in your story that you had dyslexia growing up. What was that like? Well, you know, I think that I still have it. Uh, God hasn't, hasn't healed me from it. So what happens is, is I tell people when the way I was raised, I survived my childhood. I wasn't raised, you know, I didn't have parents that, that looked out for me. I didn't have somebody who wanted to govern my experiences or, or was an advocate for me. So I, I really just kind of survived my childhood and one of the casualties of that. Was my education. Uh, it was the early seventies, so I think there was a lot going on with sight reading and some different kind of philosophies of teaching. So here I was in a broken home with a learning disability. I [00:24:00] was being bullied at school because the way I felt about myself and, you know, so yeah, reading has always been a chore for me. It still is a chore today. But again, the lord, he helps and he, he brings me through and he gave me a brilliant wife. Uh, she is a, a teacher by education. And my children love to read. My son will walk into walls. He reads books this thick. I mean, and I remember holding him the moment he was born, praying, Lord, give him just a heart for reading. And he does. I mean, my son 15 says, dad, can we go to the library? Love the library. Oh, he, yeah, we're friends with the librarian. Uh, if they need somebody to help him out, move books and they call him. But yes, reading has always been a chore and I, believe it or not, I'm in the midst of writing a book. Oh, I was just gonna ask that if you had a book out or not. We are just started to speak to a publisher, it's self-publishing company. Uh, so we're definitely in [00:25:00] conversations. We have written, just kind of let it pour out of me. It's been there for 50 years, so just kind of. And, uh, now we've kind of put it in front of people who really know what they're doing. I tell everybody, I wrote it my ways, I handed it to my wife and she interpreted it and made it legible. And, uh, we have some local friends who have done some basic editing, so they're kind of editing for us, and now we're sending it to the publisher who knows how to edit in a professional way. So, so, you know, the Lord told me years ago that this testimony would be written down. I remember I chuckled when he told me that because I said, Lord, I can barely read or write. And I remember saying to the Lord, Lord, if you want this written down, what am I gonna call it? He said, you'll call it Forgiving the Nightmare. So that's why the name of the ministry, the name of the book, the name of the website is called Forgiving the Nightmare. I think everybody uh, regardless of [00:26:00] how one came, you know, yours and I came in by probably hands of other people's, but sometimes nightmares come in by all different ways. Loss, regrets pains, hurts. And we all have to kind of say, Lord, how do we go through that? And I know as Christians, we want it instant, you know, we wanna stand on the word, we wanna claim it, we wanna save. Lord, give it to me. But I think sometimes we have to, uh, go through the process. I think of Jacob and how he wrestled with God, or he wrestled with the angel and they wrestled all night long. And, and God, the angel touched his hip and then he said, what do you want? And Jacob said, I want a new. And he became Israel, the promise. Mm-hmm. So he left deceiver, as you know, and he became Israel promise. And I think sometimes in that journey of forgiveness as much as Christians and people, we want it and we want it so true and so earnestly, [00:27:00] but sometimes we have to wrestle. We have to wrestle with the past. We have to wrestle with ourselves, we have to wrestle with the fears, and wrestling doesn't make us bad, doesn't make us sinners, doesn't mean God has left us. I think God's working with us, the process as a pastor, I've seen so many people who are unwilling to go through the process. And they get stuck. They get stuck in the cycle, in the the hurts and the pains of life. Just kind of build up on them. And I know God wants to set 'em free, but again, it, you have to learn to die to self crucify the old man, you know, tame the tongue. And it's hard. It's hard, especially when everything in the, especially when everything in the world tells you you're okay to have that. It's okay for you to hate. It's okay for you to be angry. It's okay for you to, when God says, for us to let him go first, let Him lead us. And God is, if we forgive those who trespass against us, he'll be faithful and just to forgive us. [00:28:00] And that scripture boy haunted me for a long time because I said, Lord, I'm not ready to begin. I'm sorry I'm preaching. No, you're awesome. I'm enjoying this. Um, I'm curious how you read your Bible. Do you use an audio bible or do you, um, do use an actual written Bible? Well, I do read Bible. I like the ESV, I like the NIV, I like those verses. I do read it. I do listen to audio at times. What happened was, is about 20, I was in my early twenties and a woman at church asked me to read the Christmas story out of Luke in front of the youth group. Now, when I say youth group, we had about a hundred youth in our youth group, maybe even 150. It was a large youth group and she was the kind of woman who would not take no for an answer. You know, the church lady? Yeah. I think every church has one of those. Yeah. And you know, I tried to give her every excuse in the [00:29:00] book, I lost my glasses. I was too embarrassed to say that I couldn't read. So I got up in front of the youth group and I read out of Luke chapter two and I. Stumbled over my words and I read slowly and I read broken up. And people were very kind to me that day. The youth pastor and the youth group, they were not cruel. And after service, that woman came back to me and said that she homeschooled her children and she would like to homeschool me if I'd want to. Now I was, I was a grownup. I was 23 and I went back to her house and there I sat with her 6-year-old, five-year old as she was teaching her 5-year-old, 6-year-old how to read. She was also teaching me phonics. I never learned phonics. I tell everybody, when I learned TION and Sean and not ion, it changed my life. Unbeknownst to me that church lady had an older daughter [00:30:00] and that older daughter watched me. Watch me struggle over my words, watch me go to the house and sit with her five-year-old sister and learn ae IOU and learn the rules of bowels and phonics. Well, years later, that older daughter would become my wife. Oh. Oh. So, yep. So, you know, she told me that she fell in love with me and she watched me there. And so that, that's a little bit of our love story. But yeah, she watched me from afar and, and now today we have four kids together and she still helps me read. So I do read. I a much stronger reader than I ever was. Uh mm-hmm. So I, I can read a much better than I could then. Well, I certainly can see looking back that you had so many people in your corner to that God sent to help you, and what a blessing. Now, did you go to college? I did. I [00:31:00] graduated from what's now called North Point Bible College. At the time, it was called Zion Bible College. It was in Barrington, Rhode Island. It was a very focused school for ministry only. Uh, so I did go there. I didn't wanna go there. I'm a New Englander. I knew about the school. It was in my backyard. I wanted to go to Southeastern to Florida. I wanted to go to pennsylvania and go to Valley Forge. Uh, those doors were not open to me. I remember saying, the Lord, I'm done. Lord, I've tried. Everybody's rejecting me because of my education. And he said, go to Zion. I went in and I met with the Dean of students. In that meeting, the dean of students said to me, mark, do you have a call? I said, yes, I believe I do have a call. He got up from his desk and he went to a big picture window, a woman who was walking in front of his picture window, and he tapped onto the window and he called this woman in. As she came [00:32:00] into his office, he introduced me to a woman named Jan Kruger. He let me know that Jan was led by God to go to school, to go to Zion the week earlier than me to start a learning center. And Jan and I became our first student in the learning center and we worked hard. The first year, most of my, classes were uncredited 'cause I had to learn how to be a student. I didn't know what a syllabi was. I didn't know how to take tests. Uh, we sat in that learning center. I cried, I complained. She was a mom. She hugged me sometimes and she told me to. To suck it up sometimes. And, uh, that was the best advice I could get. So yeah, i'm a proud graduate of Zion Bible College, and I'm ordained with the Assembly of God. So when did you get called into the ministry? Well, pretty much after, it was about my 17th year, 16 years old, I got saved and 17 years old, I was [00:33:00] at a Youth convention, and I pretty much felt like the Lord called me then. Now, I ran from that call for a long time because of my insecurities, my fears, my inabilities. See, when I walked into the room, I always felt like I was junk. Like I was dirt. Like I could offer nobody, nothing. And I was, no, you know, I, that's how I felt about myself. So who would let me be that pastor? What do I have to offer? I could barely read. Look what happened to me. So. For many years I wrestled with it and about 24, 25 years old, I had a brand new truck, little S 10 pickup truck. They called it Bernie because it was purple. I was listening to Petra, remember a Petra? I love Petra. And I was, I was listening to Petra from the seventies not the nineties. Petra and I remember I was listening to Petra and the Holy Spirit filled with the cab of that car and that truck I had to [00:34:00] pull over. I was on old post road. I'll never forget tears coming down my face. The Holy Spirit spoke to my heart and said, mark, choose this day whom you'll serve. I've called you and I will equip you. And I said, God, I want you. That's when the journey of. Colleges, and I wish I could tell you it was all roses and cherries after that. It wasn't, you know, there's still a lot of growing up and a lot of overcoming, and a lot of dying to self. And, and there still is. But yeah, that's how I got called and I went to that school and they loved me. They were honest to me. You sound like you had a lot , in coming with Moses with his speech impediment. He was, exiled to be a goat and a sheep herder. They're not gonna listen to me, Lord. You know? Did you feel like that? Oh, sure. I sure did. Like I said, I, for most of my life, I felt like what can I offer? So what I did is I put a facade on myself or I, I lived up to the role that I [00:35:00] thought people wanted from me, or a role to, to find acceptance or protection. So, if I had to be the clown, I was the clown. If I had to be the fool, I was the fool. If I had to be the weak, I was the weak because I felt those things about me. Recently in this weight loss journey and this giving, God has given me confidence. And I say that with much humility because I know it's not my confidence, it's confidence in him. But I've never had confidence before. I feel like a carpenter with a new tool. I feel like, you know, a businessman with a new suit that I've never had confidence before. Now again, it's not confidence in what I have. Because I'm still weak, but it's a confidence going, my Abba father makes a way for me. My Abba father heals me and, and goes before me. So it's, it's a kind of a new season for me to be confident and say, you know what? I can live a healthy life. People ask me why I lost the weight. [00:36:00] And I remember I was reading the scripture, and you're probably familiar with it, is when the Pharisee comes to the Lord or it says to him, Lord, how does one enter the kingdom of heaven? And the Lord says, well, what is written? He says, Lord, love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your mind, with all your strength, and with all your spirit, and love your neighbor as yourself. I've read that a million times. I've preached on it. I've studied it. One day I was reading it, he said, Lord, I know you love me, mark, but you don't love your neighbor, and you don't love yourself, so you can't love your neighbor. And I realized because I didn't love myself, I wasn't taking care of myself. I love my children. I love my wife. I wanna take care of 'em. They don't need me. I wife can, but I want to. I wanna do things for, I wanna take care of 'em. I wanna help 'em be better and stronger and smarter and wiser, and love the Lord. And I realized I didn't love myself. So the weight loss journey, forgiving the nightmare, forgiving my mom, forgiving the abusers, forgiving those [00:37:00] who betrayed me as a child, helped me begin to love myself again. No visions of grander. I'm still a just a normal guy saved by grace. Uh, I still put my big foot in my mouth, my wife can come in and tell you all the stories, but, uh, but you know, I started to love myself and. It sounds like, you found your self worth in the Lord Jesus because Jesus sees you as his child. You are a child of God, and that's where your worth is. So it sounds like your healing journey brought you to that place. Yeah. It's not self-confidence like the world says it is. It's how God sees you. You're precious and you're loved. Amen. And you're valuable. He died for you. Hallelujah. Hallelujah. You're gonna get me going now. Hallelujah. Hallelujah, hallelujah. I want others to [00:38:00] experience this. You know, I, my whole ministry, I've been surrounded by hurting people and hurting churches. I've worked with people that have had major traumas in their life. Not that I ever sought it. I can't. I think the Lord just led me to it. And as I've worked with people, people say that I've been able to bring comfort. I'm easy to talk to. I thought, well, okay, Lord. And I want people to find that freedom that I have. I understand being shackled to pain in the past. I understand allowing those things to form the way you think about and believe about yourself, and never truly being set free. Waking up with that numbing feeling of brokenness all the time. All the time, just constantly. But God truly set me free. He set me free. And because he set me free, I'm nobody special. And being a pastor, I see so many people that have a [00:39:00] form of this and they don't. They haven't gone through it. So they're still living with a confession in Christ, but still the hurts of the past. Blame them. I don't, I'm not putting fingers, I'm not taking the log out on my own eye before I take the twig from their eye. But I'm saying the freedom that God has for his people. Uh, and again, do we still stumble? Yeah. Do we still need refining? Sure. Are we still the clay? And he's still the potter of court, but there's a freedom that we find as a pastor. I've just met so many people who will say, pastor, I'm killed. I'm delivered. And you realize it's, it's only an inch deep. It's, you know, as soon as they get tested, as soon as they get, get bothered, it just spills out. It pulls out of them in, in a defense or in, in a rejection or in a way they, they have a self view of the world or of themselves. Now God's consent is free. God can set [00:40:00] us free. So, what's the difference between being a victim and being victorious? Hallelujah. Well, in my humble opinion, a victim is somebody who always sees themselves broken, sees themselves in a way that, that that allows them to stay in their victimhood. For a long time, my victimhood became my identity. I remember one day when the Lord brought me to the altar and he said those words to me. He said, mark, I want you to give this up. And I literally said, in an audible voice, Lord, if I'm not a victim, then what am I? Because all I knew was the, the role of being a victim. Oh, my victimhood was good. I could manipulate with it. I could win every argument with it. Oh, when I was 16 years old, my mom, who was a single mom with not much money she bought me a car. I had a phone in my room. I had cable on my own [00:41:00] tv. She made me breakfast in bed. Why she owed that to me. Why? Because I was a victim. And I got to see how I could win every argument at school. I could put my head down and I could lift up my head and go, well, who here else was molested? I was, and no one would say anything. And the Lord rebuked me at that and said, said, yeah, that's what victims do. At least that's what I did. He said, I wanna make you victorious. And I remember him saying, me saying to the Lord, if I'm not a victim, what am I? And he said, you're victorious in me. I had to learn what it meant to be victorious. Amen. I had to learn to let that facade go. Let that personality go, let that old man die and let the new man of Christ rise up inside him. That is awesome. I just love that. I've never heard anybody describe it like that. Now, I prefer the, word survivor instead of victim. But I think you took [00:42:00] it up another notch. We are, victorious in the Lord. Well, my victimhood, you know, as much as I was a victim, but I used it for my own gain. Mm-hmm. Which made me just as not guilty of what happened to me, but made me not a healthy place. It put me in a Right. But it's all I knew, you know, I could manipulate, I could win the argument. Right. I was the guy. Who else here was stabbed and burnt and abused? I could show you my scars where they stabbed me. I could show you the burn marks. I was prostituted for other men to abuse me. Boy, you know, I could really win the, the argument. But that was wrong. Yeah, it was wrong. It was wrong to put that on my mother, it's wrong to put that on my family. It was wrong to put that on others. And the Lord had to rebuke me and, uh, wow. And he did, because he loves, he rebukes the ones he loves, so he rebuked you. I just so appreciate your raw [00:43:00] and honest, telling of your story. Because, you've heard stories where they just put the fluff or they put the stuff that's gonna, bring up the ratings or whatever. But you really, kept it real. And I think you're a great pastor because people see that you're a real person. You're not some fake up there that can't relate to your congregation's problems, do you feel that way? Oh, definitely. You know, my congregation, as you know, like we talked earlier, I wrestle with dyslexia and every once in a while I'll stumble over a word while I'm reading the Bible and in front of my congregation. And, and that really bothered me for a long time. My Lord, I'm a pastor. How can I not read this and now. When I stumble over a word, my congregation yells it up to me. So I'll be on the platform. And you know what? They'll see me stumbling and you know, they'll yell it up to me and it's just a term of endearment. [00:44:00] It's not been one of rejection or shame, and I say, you know what? I'm doing that just to make sure you're in the Bible. That's what I tell 'em. But I'll be reading the scripture and, and my dyslexia kick in, or, or the word will be all scrambled. And, and they're the kind voices. Oh, pastor, that's, that means this. And, and it's kind of a nice direction. I tell people the church I pastor is a real church with real people serving a real God. Wow. So, wow. Fancy fluff. Church don't come to us because, you know, we're real and we cry together, we do life together. We step on each other's toes. We don't always agree, but we always love God. That is so awesome. Pastor of Christian is Alia Scott. That's right. I didn't announce your church name. I wanted to ask you to tell another story about. You said that you met your birth father at one point. What happened during that reunion Union? [00:45:00] Well, I was 45 years old and I wanted to reach, I wanted to know, I tell people my birth father and I met at the right place in life. I think if I would've met him younger, I would've still been angry. Rejected Kyle, but I was 45. I was the father of four. I've made my own mistakes, my own problems. I learned to mature a little bit. To be really frank, my father's wife passed on, so he was more ready to meet me. So his wife that he had the affair on to si me, if you would, she passed. So he was more open to meet me and uh, I just didn't meet him, but the whole family met him together. We met in a restaurant, we met in Cape Cod, Massachusetts, and the family came in and the kids instantly. Started to call him grandpa. I thought, I don't know if I'm okay with that. And he never rejected it. So the last few years of [00:46:00] life, we just lost him. I, I had him for about four years. It wasn't warm and fuzzy, daddy and son, but it was something, we had a relationship. We'd talk about sports, we'd talk about life. He was a snowbird from Massachusetts to Florida and he just kind of let me know. So I'm very thankful for the four years I had. Again, it wasn't, Hey buddy, I'm proud of you kind of moment, but I got to find out a little bit about. Who my dad was and who some of my relatives are on my father's side. I got to learn about some of the health conditions of, of my father. And you know, he said he was pretty, he made it to 84. He liked to drink and he liked ladies, I like Jesus, I like one lady, Wow. That's an incredible story. I tell people it was the right time. Again, if I would've met him at 25, I would've been angry. I would've said, you know, why did you abandon me? 45 was a good time because. You know what, by that [00:47:00] time I, I stepped in enough life of my own to, to not, to be slow to judge, oh, God does have the perfect timing. I haven't spoken much about my story at all on here, but my husband and I talk about, boy, I wish that we had met, long time ago, you know, and skipped all the pain because we were both victims of abuse from our previous spouses. I'm sorry. And, um, but we thought about it and we thought we were different people. If we met at that time, I don't think I would've been interested in you and you wouldn't have been interested in me. And, I think that God brought us together this time of our life. No, we've been married 11 years. Congratulations. Thank you. So, God brought us together at our time of life because that was the perfect time and Sure. We're best friends. We never even have had a real fight. We didn't disagree, of course, but now you should write a book [00:48:00] about that. Okay. I mean, we disagree and, um, get on each other's nerves, but the Lord has just, you're normal. Just blessed us. Yeah, we're definitely normal. Um, especially during pandemic. It's like you learn about your spouse when you're stuck with them 24 7. Right? That's true. That's true. Yeah, we had to make some adjustments. Amen. And, um, we still love each other, and that it's great when you're talking about times of life, you know, for such a time as this, and I think for me, the Lord spoke to me years ago about forgiving the nightmare ministry. He actually spoke to me when I was in college about this. I didn't know it was gonna, uh, blossom or what it was gonna look like, but he spoke to me years ago about writing it down and it was always inside me. And I kept, my wife knew about it. We would always think, how's the, what's the Lord gonna do with this? Is it distant inside me to guide me through life? Is it more for others? Is it, Lord, how's it, how's it [00:49:00] gonna? Blossom if you would manifest. And we lost my mom and I have to tell you that, not immediately, but pretty quick. After losing my mom, I felt like this ministry could just launch. And it has launched. God has brought, brought a web designer into our life. He's brought some, um, producers into our life to help me tell the story. We're talking with a, an editor and a publisher. All this has happened fairly quickly. And I think, Lord, why now? And I think, to be honest with you, and this is just my opinion, I, I don't know if I have chapter and verse to back this up, but my mom was so embarrassed. She was so full of shame because of my upbringing every time for the last 20 years of my life, every time me and my mom were alone together, she would just apologize. And I don't just mean say, sorry. She would grovel and I would say, mom, I forgive you. I forgive you, [00:50:00] Marky. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. And if my mom knew that I was speaking to podcasts or writing a book, she would've been so, so embarrassed. So she may, it would've just troubled her so much. So I think outta the grace of God, and again, don't have chapter and verse, but I think upon her passing released me to be able to share this story, to be able to bring others into it, to just think God was being merciful to my mom on her journey. And again, it was almost pretty instant after her, uh, her own passing that I remember being on the treadmill one morning and the Lord just kind of. Just impressing upon me by giving the nightmare. Remember those words? I spoke to you. This is where it's gonna take place. And since then, we've made a couple videos, uh, we've launched a website. I'm talking to wonderful people like yourself and just trying to get the [00:51:00] story out of forgiving the Nightmare and trying to say to people whatever that nightmare was. Was it physical and sexual abuse like mine? Was it a tragedy in your life? Is it regrets? Is it fears? Is it the loss of a child or a loved one? Whatever that pain is that your nightmare. I want you to know that God can help you forgive it and overcome it and break the shackles so we don't have to be the man or the person. The hurt tried to make us. We no longer have to be Jacob. We can become Israel. Your mom would be so proud of you. And I think that, thank you. If, the Lord's probably told her, you know, the good things that have come out of a terrible situation, she said she had, you said she had some shame. Oh. I think if she was looking down at you now that, that shame would be gone. [00:52:00] That shame is no longer there. Look how God's using my son, my, my wonderful son to spread the gospel and to help people. And so Well, thank you. I'm so thankful for you, brother. Thank you for saying those words, sister. It's very kind of you. I used to say to my mom, even up to her last days, I would say, mom, who's your favorite? And she would say, I love you all, all the same. And I'd say, mom, stop lying to my siblings. I'm the youngest of three. My older brother and my older sister never made me feel like a step or a half brother. Uh, we just kind of always lived in the same house. We got real family problems and just life, but they've never left, never met me, felt, never let me feel like I was less than even to today. So I'm very thankful. My oldest sister, who is, a second mom to me, my oldest sister, she is my second mom and I'm thankful for her. So. Wow. Well, we [00:53:00] just had just a great time tonight. When your book comes out, please contact me. I would love to have you on the show again, to promote your book because obviously you, your story is so powerful and we wanna get it out to as many people as we can. So, tell the folks how to connect with you. Well, the best way to connect with me is@forgivingthenightmare.com. Forgiving the nightmare.com. Forgiving the nightmare.com is the best way to connect with me. If you go there, you'll find a email, it's called mark@forgivingthenightmare.com. That comes directly to me, right on my phone. So that's the best way to connect with me. Also you can go to our Facebook page called, forgiving the Nightmare. For giving Nightmare Facebook page. I try to put up pictures and little devotions there and stories there. So that's the two. Best way through Facebook, after Giving the Nightmare, after giving the Nightmare do [00:54:00] com, those are the best ways to connect with me. And I hope to get so Arizona someday. You have an open invitation. Wow. I'll be a tour guide for you. I know that Arizona like the back of my hand. Wow. Wow. Now my children could hear you in the background, so they're gonna be pretty excited about that invitation. There's so much stuff for, for their Edge group as well. So, we will hook you guys up. So thanks for being patient with the tech stuff and I'm glad we pushed through and didn't let the devil get the victory tonight. We found a way to get you on here. That's right. May I pray for you as we close. Oh yes, please. Thank you. Father God, we just come to you tonight and we thank you again for your son, Jesus Christ. Lord, we thank you for the sacrifice that he gave to us upon the cross, Lord. And we pay the price we could not pray, Lord. And we thank you for the gift of life [00:55:00] and life more abundant. Lord, we thank you for the promises. It says in this life there will be many troubles, but fear not because you are with us always. And Lord, tonight I pray for my sister. Father, I thank you that you're using her Lord. To spread the gospel to share, hope to be a light and a dark place. But Father, now, I pray that you come beside her father as she's shared that she's lost her brother this week, Lord. And I pray you comfort her. Lord, you said you had to go so the comforter could come. I pray, the comfort of the Holy Spirit will come beside my sister and be with her and her family as they grieve their loved one, their family member, their friend, Lord. So Lord I pray peace upon my sister. I pray Lord that you use her, continue to bless her. I thank you for the testimony of her and her husband, 11 years that you've brought together for such a time as this. I pray, Lord God, that they grow closer to you so they can grow closer to each other. And Lord, we thank you tonight [00:56:00] that Lord, we're no longer Jacob. You've made us Israel Father, no longer do we have to be shaped by our past, but now we can hold on to the promises. Lord, no longer does, we have to be shackled by somebody else's abuse, and we can be set free by your word. So, Lord, I pray that you fill us. You lead us, and may we be the light and may we be the salt, and may we lift up your name. We pray for a unity across our nation. We pray for a healing across our land, and we pray, Lord, for a revival of your salvation to come to our our country again, in Jesus name, amen. Thank you so much, brother. God bless, sister. Thank you. Take care yourself. Bye now. Bye. Thank you for listening to the Wounds of the Faithful Podcast. If this episode has been helpful to you, please hit the subscribe button and tell a friend. You could connect with us at [00:57:00] DSW Ministries dot org where you'll find our blog, along with our Facebook, Twitter, and our YouTube channel links. Hope to see you next week.

covid-19 christmas god love jesus christ new york father church lord israel apple social spirit bible prayer giving college mexico zoom struggle christians arizona writing holy spirit reading loss youth academy jerusalem started massachusetts savior union childhood christmas eve catholic pastor caribbean new england nightmare abuse boy bernie sanders blame answering weight loss victim rock and roll pharisees amen congratulations mount everest thief rhode island final thoughts abba forgiving wounds filipino assembly central america hallelujah grand canyon waking mary magdalene mm lord god homeschool protestant niv technical difficulties dyslexia formal holy land pentecostal cape cod blossom esv upstate new york father god juarez jesus christ superstar unbeknownst weightlossjourney pastor mark southeastern reuniting finding faith my lord finding confidence barrington irish catholic schuyler new englanders valley forge specialize tion stumbled marky iou french catholic italian catholics mark sowersby forgiving the nightmare polish catholic pastor mark sowersby diana winkler

Handbag Designer 101

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 4, 2025 42:16 Transcription Available

What if the difference between a forgettable line and an enduring brand came down to a handful of details and a few brave decisions? In this episode, Steven Alan unpacks how a small Soho storefront became a global showroom, why discovery will always trump trade-show buying, and how clean distribution keeps both the magic and the margin intact. From recognizing Claire V's voice in five self-sewn bags to cultivating independent designers who'd later define the modern accessories space, Steven shares how instinct, restraint, and precision build brands that last.He also gets candid about scaling too fast—expanding from eight to twenty-three stores, adding overhead, and learning the hard way that growth without discipline can crush profitability. Post-COVID, he pared everything back, rebuilt around his core menswear, and reopened with a Chelsea studio that blends craftsmanship, curation, and calm. His playbook now? Specialize deeply, collaborate selectively, and let great product—not PR—do the talking.

EP. 464: Mastering Your Hunt | When to Specialize & When to Expand

Truth From The Stand Deer Hunting Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 29, 2025 76:20

In this episode of the Truth From The Stand podcast, I sit down with my buddy Chad Sylvester to break down what it takes to level up. We dig into his recent trip to Idaho—a hunt that didn't exactly go as planned but came loaded with lessons that stick. We talk about when to double down on what you do best and when to push past your comfort zone to grow as a hunter. From understanding terrain-specific deer behavior to balancing specialization with adaptability, this one's all about the mental side of the game—how you think, adjust, and evolve season after season. WHAT TO EXPECT FROM PODCAST 464 Mastering your whitetail hunt requires a diverse toolkit and adaptable mindset. Specialization builds confidence but can narrow your perspective. Chad's Idaho hunt delivered hard-earned lessons and real-world insights. Micro-terrain and historical data hold the keys to consistent deer encounters. Familiarity bias can stall growth—explore new ground and learn from it. Listening to what the hunt tells you is often more valuable than any plan. SHOW NOTES AND LINKS: —Truth From The Stand Merch —Check out Tactacam Reveal cell cameras — Save 15% on Hawke Optics code TFTS15 —Save 20% on ASIO GEAR code TRUTH20 —Check out Spartan Forge to map your hunt —Save on Lathrop And Sons non-typical insoles code TRUTH10 —Check out Faceoff E-Bikes —Waypoint TV Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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How to Focus, Specialize, and Scale Without Burning Out

Coffee With Cole

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 22, 2025 60:25

In this Hot Seat with Cole, we unpack how to grow your ghostwriting business without burning out—by treating outreach like a data-driven game, focusing on one offer or niche to scale faster, and remembering that long-term success comes from consistency, not constant reinvention.(00:00) Intro & Welcoming Newcomers(02:00) How Hot Seats Work & Setting the Stage(05:00) Client Metrics Deep Dive: Measuring Success(15:00) Understanding Funnel Performance and Bottleneck Analysis(22:00) Outreach Metrics & Handling Volume(32:00) Networking & Conferences: In-Person vs Digital Growth(41:00) Specializing, Selling Services, and Playing to Your Strengths(52:00) Time Management, Free Work, and Mindset for Success------✍️ Want to start writing online? Download this free Ultimate Guide to get started: https://startwritingonline.com

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Live Your Life On Purpose: Ken Keis EP 218B

god tv jesus christ new york family fear texas canada president thanksgiving lord social bible soul lessons media fall challenges canadian phd research struggle christians european holy spirit depression influence dna dad emotional impact hawaii greek academy mba quest discovering forward burn encouragement vancouver new testament intimacy personality acceptance judgment grandma pharisees hebrew agriculture offense decline triggers boeing final thoughts technique world war hungary wounds filipino ministries palm springs mm hungarian andor pioneers pediatric family dynamics holy land reverence lithium unpredictable presbyterian possessed live your life christian church mending opt personal reflections aw journey back marshall goldsmith personal style gottman specialize life on purpose mcing pastor randy elst ordain crg ken keis his english

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 11, 2025 61:13

In this episode, Diana is joined by guest Ken Keys, PhD, President of CRG and an expert on leadership, wellness, and life purpose. They discuss Ken's difficult upbringing, including the trauma experienced by his parents and his own battles with depression and suicidal thoughts. Ken shares his journey to discovering his purpose, the importance of emotional intelligence, and the impact of finding forgivingness and letting go of past trauma. The episode also highlights actionable steps for personal growth and emphasizes the importance of surrounding oneself with supportive and positive influences. 00:00 Introduction and Sponsor Message 00:47 Welcome to the Podcast 01:20 Diana's Personal Update 02:06 Practicing Gratitude 03:40 Introducing Today's Guest: Ken Keys 04:48 Ken Keys' Background and Career Journey 05:53 Ken's Family and Upbringing 08:42 Challenges and Lessons from Dairy Farming 16:20 Ken's Struggles with Depression and Wellness Journey 19:46 Traumatic Experience and Forgiveness 28:20 Family Dynamics and Emotional Growth 30:52 The Decline of Reverence for God 31:13 The Impact of Media on Society 31:54 Personal Reflections on Family and Intimacy 32:36 Journey Back to Faith 33:49 Discovering a New Christian Community 35:01 Embracing Ministry and Leadership 36:37 The Importance of Personal Style in Ministry 38:57 Overcoming Family Expectations 41:27 Judgment and Acceptance in Christian Life 46:27 The Influence of Associations 55:23 Final Thoughts and Actionable Steps www.kenkeis.com/faithful for your free gift Website: https://dswministries.org Subscribe to the podcast: https://dswministries.org/subscribe-to-podcast/ Social media links: Join our Private Wounds of the Faithful FB Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1603903730020136 Twitter: https://twitter.com/DswMinistries YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxgIpWVQCmjqog0PMK4khDw/playlists Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dswministries/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DSW-Ministries-230135337033879 Keep in touch with me! Email subscribe to get my handpicked list of the best resources for abuse survivors! https://thoughtful-composer-4268.ck.page #abuse #trauma Affiliate links: Our Sponsor: 753 Academy: https://www.753academy.com/ Can't travel to The Holy Land right now? The next best thing is Walking The Bible Lands! Get a free video sample of the Bible lands here! https://www.walkingthebiblelands.com/a/18410/hN8u6LQP An easy way to help my ministry: https://dswministries.org/product/buy-me-a-cup-of-tea/ A donation link: https://dswministries.org/donate/ EP 7 Guest Ken Keis Living On Purpose [00:00:00] Special thanks to 7 5 3 Academy for sponsoring this episode. No matter where you are in your fitness and health journey, they've got you covered. They specialize in helping you exceed your health and fitness goals, whether that is losing body fat, gaining muscle, or nutritional coaching to match your fitness levels. They do it all with a written guarantee for results so you don't waste time and money on a program that doesn't exceed your goals. There are martial arts programs. Specialize in anti-bullying programs for kids to combat proven Filipino martial arts. They take a holistic, fun, and innovative approach that simply works. Sign up for your free class now. It's 7 5 3 academy.com. Find the link in the show notes. Welcome to the Wounds of the Faithful Podcast, brought to you by DSW Ministries. Your host is singer songwriter, speaker and domestic violence advocate, [00:01:00] Diana . She is passionate about helping survivors in the church heal from domestic violence and abuse and trauma. This podcast is not a substitute for professional counseling or qualified medical help. Now here is Diana. Hi everybody. How are you guys doing today? I hope you are well. It is a beautiful day outside. Fall isn't even here yet it seems. But my garden. We got to harvest some of our food. We ate some green beans and snap peas and ate some strawberries from my garden. We're just waiting for the tomatoes to ripen. But it's really exciting when you start eating from your own garden, you didn't even think it was going to survive. And with the change of seasons [00:02:00] here, and Thanksgiving is coming up, holidays are coming up. I didn't really do a Thanksgiving podcast, but we want to be thankful. It's hard to be thankful this year, isn't it? Was a huge dumpster fire, and it's probably not all gonna go away you know, January 1st , I'm sure isn't gonna magically disappear, but, um, we have to practice the art of being thankful and grateful for what we have. Make a list, and I know it's hard, just the littlest things that you see during the day. Hey, I have the song on the radio I heard, and it was such a blessing to me. Or like, me, I had a harvest this week. Or, oh, the weather is so beautiful or. My kid got an A on his spelling. Just the little things, just make a [00:03:00] list and go back to those lists. And I'm not one of those positive thinker people. I'm not, I have to work at being positive. I like being around positive people because that lifts me up. My husband is naturally positive and he lifts me up. Right now. He's going through a hard time with his medical stuff and I have to lift him up when I'm having a bad day, he has to lift me up. But we try and practice gratefulness even in the little things. So I hope that encourages you during this holiday. I'm not gonna do a big holiday podcast. Today I have a guest with me today and he's going to talk about, when you feel like, your life doesn't feel like it has meeting you don't have any fulfillment, you're trying to get outta the hole you're in. Maybe you got outta a domestic violence situation and you don't know how to fulfill your [00:04:00] dreams. You don't know how to take that step and work towards your ideal life. Well, this next guest is going to help you do that, to leave the drama behind and find out, which parts of your personality you were born with, which ones you probably need to get rid of, or which ones you can develop further. How you're able to adapt to other people's behavior. Approach your interactions with confidence instead of fear. Find out what makes other people tick. How to handle misunderstandings and defensiveness. How do you handle your triggers? Hey, we've all got drama that we need to leave behind. We wanna move forward, right? So I'm going to read his bio here. Ken Keys PhD President of CRG is a global expert on leadership, wellness, behavioral assessments, and life purpose. [00:05:00] In 28 years, he has conducted over 3000 presentations and invested 10,000 hours. In consulting and coaching. Ken Keys is considered a foremost global authority on the way assessment strategies and processes. Increase and multiply success rates. He's co-created CRGs proprietary development models and has written over 4 million words of content for 40 business training programs and 400 plus articles. His latest book, the Quest for Purpose, a Self-Discovery Process to Find It and Live It. So please welcome Ken Keys. Thanks so much, Ken Keith, for coming on the show. Appreciate it. Well, well it's great to be hanging out with you. Tell us about your self, your upbringing, and your family. Did you come from a [00:06:00] successful family? Well, um, I am a third generation, uh, in Canada. So my grandparents, all four came from Hungary between the first and second World War as immigrants. And then they settled here. I'm about an hour east of Vancouver, Canada, so that's where I make my home. And so I actually grew up on a dairy farm. After uh, high school I went to agricultural college, came back to work on the farm, but pretty well a few months in dad and I were ready to beat each other into a pulp. 'cause we really didn't get along. Both of us wanted to be in charge and dad was kind of of the European mindset, just do what I say. I'll only tell you and criticize you. When you screw up. I'm never going to affirm you or. Do something positive 'cause that might go to your head. Aw. And so I, you know, after a couple of years I left the farm, I went and worked in agricultural fields as first, uh, for the Department of Agriculture. Then as a [00:07:00] feed sales rep, uh, for agriculture company. My diploma is a nutrition and genetics, so I was really a nutritionist to dairy cattle farmers. And then I actually started my own farm across the street. Which was fine, I could do my own thing. And then the late eighties, I got into this industry as a sales trainer. So I bought a franchise in the sales training. I said, what a na natural transition, uh, closed down my dairy farm. And then that was the beginning of this. Now when we're recording this, 32 years later, I said, where did that go? Uh, and, you know, three or four books, the author of 12 psychological assessments presented 3000 times somewhere around the world. Uh, authored 4 million words of content. You know, it's an interesting story and journey. And of course, I'll link in my, uh, face story here in a minute as well. So now this, it is. 32 years doing what I'm doing. And the company that I own was founded in 1979 by a professor at a Christian university. He wanted to create a, uh, create an assessment that was [00:08:00] different, better, more improved than Disc Myers-Briggs true colors, way back in 1979. And so he created the tool, the personal style indicator. I got connected to that company in 1990 and then bought it nearly 20 years ago. So we're now, you know, doing business in 12 languages, 30 countries around the world. And all our tools are built on a Christian worldview view, but we equally serve, you know, like Boeing mm-hmm. Or companies of that nature, or Ford or Chrysler as we do Ministries. And we just say, we're just here to help develop people. And then my purpose in life is to help others to live, lead, and work on purpose and to help them to realize their potential. So that's really been our focus for the last three decades. Well, you talk about the cows and I don't think I've ever milked a cow and well, it is 24 7, and I think that was one of the things that happened. I think, and here's my. Encouragement and challenge for those people that are listening, watching this show today [00:09:00] is I got up one morning with my dairy herd and I asked myself this question, if I was doing this same thing 20 years from now, would that be okay? And I said, no, no, no, no, no. I can't be doing that. And I always knew I was to be a speaker. Even when I was 16, I was speaking in front of groups, MCing groups asked to do that kinda work. Uh, I never thought I would be an author because my grade nine teacher said, well, I wouldn't amount to anything because I couldn't read or write. And it was discovered when I did my master's degree that I was dyslexic. So the invention of the computer when I went to school, I'm young, just to let you know, but when I went to school, there weren't, there weren't computers. The program word wasn't there to help me understand or see the words, uh, words that I was misspelling. And the reality is, is that, so I have mispronounced some words, so what doesn't matter, you know, get over it. And that led me to being a writer, which no way you [00:10:00] would've ever convinced me that was gonna be something that I would do almost more of than any single item in my lifetime. So here we are. And now just really trying to, you know, live his purpose and to help encourage other people to live theirs and to be anchored in that. Wow. Research shows. Diana is that when you're out there and engaging in nature, it actually feeds your soul. It does. So, even the research of kids that live in the countryside are healthier than those mm-hmm. That live in sterile environments in a condo, you know, in a 50 story building. I'm not here to judge you because you live in a condo. I'm just saying the reality is the health stats show that when you're out and about and you're just kind of in nature, your immunity strengthens, but so does your core soul because you're out there with nature and hey, that was designed that way. Absolutely. I think it's kept me sane. I liked being outside. I liked going out there and fussing over [00:11:00] my plants. Well, it's in, it's always interesting me to quote unquote live off the grid. And what I mean by that is just being a property that doesn't require utilities from third parties and things like that. But I'd live close to the town or city. There is a lot of effort and work, and one of the reasons that I did stop dairy farming was the 24 7 obligation, 365 days a year. I mean, you never have a day off in a dairy farmer's environment. Now, I appreciate the values that I learned, tenacity, persistence it doesn't matter what the weather's doing. I remember one time where it was very cold. One February. It was rare for where we live, but all the pipes and everything were frozen. Well, it took me four hours of fighting just to thaw all the pipes out so I could milk my cows. And just going back in the house and watching TV wasn't an option. It had to be done. So no matter, you know, what your personality or personal style is or anything like that, those character [00:12:00] traits were entrenched in me or developed in me in that persistence, uh, growing up. So that, you know, that's part of what I bring into it. I'm not. Mm-hmm. Uh, I was thankful for growing up in that environment, but it wasn't something that I was meant to do going forward. So you mentioned your father, but you also said that your mom, had some abuse in her childhood Hmm. Would you, be willing to elaborate on that? Sure. You know, it's interesting. I grew up in quote unquote a Christian home. Mm-hmm. But it wasn't really because my grandparents were Presbyterian in their background. No judgment. Anybody has that background. I grew up in the Presbyterian church. My brother and I were the youth, so that was, they were the only ones that were attending. But what I didn't see in my family was really the relationship with Christ. Mm. It was a cognitive thing, it was a cerebral thing. It was a duty, but it wasn't really an experience. It wasn't a relationship whatsoever. And of course, later on, I sort of [00:13:00] left the church. I can tell you my spiritual story here in a bit. But as a result of that, my dad was 16 years of age when his dad died of an unknown causes. He was on the farm, so he was forced to quit school in grade eight or nine to take over the farm with his mother. Now, his eldest brother was working off the farm, but also was helping on the farm, and a year later died of an unknown. As well. So here his father dies and then, you know, the next year before he is almost 17, his eldest brother that he looked up to died as well. Oh. And then my grandmother, where I was one of the, I wasn't the eldest male, but in that culture, you know, males just seemed to be, that was important to grandma. So I was the first born in Elst male farm. Grandma was pretty good with me, but she had a critical spirit. And so that spirit then led into my dad. My dad's way of dealing with that trauma was [00:14:00] to say nothing, just really be quiet. Mm-hmm. And the culture, the Hungarian culture also was one of non-emotional. I mean, you didn't share your feelings, you didn't share what was going on. You didn't share your heart. And even though my dad was on the board of the church, an elder. I never saw him pray. I never really see him have this relationship. He believes in God, you know, is he saved? I don't know. I mean, it's hard to know just for the viewers. I'm an ordained pastor now, so, this is kind of a full circle for me. And then my mom, grew up in as an, as a teenager with a father who was abusive when he was drinking. So an adult child of an alcoholic is kind of the process. So he, later on, , he straightened up. However, there was one night, my understanding from the story, I wasn't around yet where grandpa came home and then, was, beating on the kids and grandma got a knife and says, you touch him again, I'll kill you. Mm. And so that was kind of the environment that my mom grew up in. Now, grandpa, [00:15:00] later on when I knew him, I never knew that part of him. He was able to get his binge drinking under control. His English was broken, but we had a great relationship. He passed away sooner, and then grandma was left. Grandma was a critical spirits to my mom. So my mom now as we record, this is 86, going on 87 soon, and, I think she worries for the entire planet. I think her self-worth as far as she still has not processed this value set. So she plays the victim card extensively. And then as far as my environment for my dad, giving compliments, providing compliments just never happened. So he is 88 at the time of recording this and I'm 60. And I do not recall ever him telling me that he loves me. Aw. I just not now, does he? Yes, he does. But to verbally say that I love you just doesn't happen. I could go to his place though. And say, [00:16:00] dad, I need to borrow your truck. I need to borrow tools. Always, yes. Never says no to being helpful, but to be able to have that emotional connection and to articulate it is not something he learned. I think he did the best that he could with what he knew. So same with my mom. So I don't, I'm not bitter with them now. I'm obviously disappointed. But what it led to for me in my teenage years, when I came back from college, so I was 19 years of age, I think when I finished college, I started when I was younger is, I was suicidal. Hmm. So I sat there on the farm, here I'm arguing with my dad. I want to take it over, but he won't include me in any decisions. This is the, it's my way of the highway. There was no relationship per se, it was just a dictatorship. Mm-hmm. And then talking about deeper things that never happened, at home, when I got in some trouble with a girl, in my younger years, I wanted to share that with my mom, and she just started to criticize me. So it told me [00:17:00] never share anything with my mother that I'm dealing with as far as those pieces. So I sat there and I really said, is life really worth it? And for those of you that have been through trauma or whatever, suicide is really calling out, suicide is a hopelessness. It's a mm-hmm. Where you believe in that moment that not being here would be far less painful than being here. And first of all, it's alive, the enemy. So if we think about John 10, 10 is that the enemy comes to, kill, steal, and destroy or whatever that order is, and. And so he wants you to, take your own life because then you know what, your impact for the ministry is not gonna be there. Your impact for others is not gonna be there. Well, obviously I didn't take my life, but I thought about it and I had those components or considerations Later on in life, about a decade later, I was diagnosed asmatic depressive. And so I went on an antidepressant called Lithium, and it was my friend of mine, [00:18:00] actually out of Dallas, Texas. And she was a psychologist and she said, Ken, you're not a depressed person. There's something else biologically going on with you. And so we, I, at my insistence, did a glucose tolerance test, found out I was hypoglycemic. I wasn't depressed at all. Yeah. So what that had to do was around my blood sugar levels. So one of my passions now in life is I love to develop the whole person. And we have 12 assessments in our company from personality, but we also have an assessment on wellness and stress. And as a, I consider myself, a wellness expert. Mm-hmm. Because I don't believe that we need to rely on external people for my health. And so a lot of times people get into trouble where they don't take care of themselves. So mm-hmm. It's very difficult to be alive and functional and be a spiritual, , lion when you are fatigued, when you have no [00:19:00] energy. So, uh, I say fatigue makes cowards of us all. I wasn't the person who said I was another person who had started that. So I started to look at how can I take care of myself? Make sure you get the sleep, make sure for the most part you eat right, that you do things right. A lot of times as individuals, we don't take care of ourselves, and then we wonder why we're lethargic or we can't focus or we can't concentrate. And we do that with our kids. So I, you know, this body is a temple. We have a responsibility to take care of it. So that's why we've been working in all these different areas. And then one other. And then we're talking about trauma. And I haven't, I've only shared this very few times on podcasts and I don't, not that it's a secret. I actually share this story in my book, the Quest for Purpose. Mm-hmm. Which I am actually going to give everybody a copy of this at the end of the show. Right. Wow. So we are gonna be able to give you a free download of that book. But in the book, in 1982, I was actually [00:20:00] dating my high school sweetheart. So it was the person that I took to my prom. She was a couple years younger than me. And on December 13th, 1982 the police officer showed up at my home and said, we'd like to interview Ken. Now I happen to be out in town with my brother at that time, and there wasn't cell phones that we personally had. So when I got that, they said it's very urgent that Ken come to the station as soon as he gets home. I'm curious. I don't know what this is about. I am also nervous. I'm a little bit fearful. I'm having nervous energy and trying to crack jokes when I get to the police department. Yeah. So I get into one of these interview rooms that are just like, the TV says steel chairs, bricks, security, glass. One person in the room, TV cameras recording you. And I say, you know, what's this about? And the officer says, we have a reason to believe that you are, dating or a boyfriend of Carol Ann Repel. And I said, yeah, well that's true. And he said, well, she was murdered last [00:21:00] night. Oh. And so, what are you talking about? And I was one of the second last people to talk to her, and I had been chatting with her on the phone. She was a individual who was gifted and skilled and wanted to be the first female fighter pilot in the Canadian forces. So she was late at night at her employer's location, which was at the airport, and the janitor made a sexual advance to her that went wrong and then beat her to death. Oh, so that's, I'm being interviewed for this. They're asking about it and it came to learn. They didn't know who did it. It was a mystery for months, but they had their suspicions, but they had no proof. And eventually they, charged somebody who I knew, he had been hired as a security guard for some youth group work that we had done. At that moment, that day, I went to work. I said, I'm like, I was complete denial. Just [00:22:00] what is going on on this thing? She was 22 years of age, Diana. Mm-hmm. Maybe going on to 23. So we've all had our situations or stories. It took me years later where I did a process, called emotional freedom Technique. You can agree with it or not, but it was a Christian who created it. I was drenched in sweat, just processing all the. Emotional sort of luggage and baggage that came out of that stuff through the process we did. It was, you just call it very, very intense counseling, if you wanna call it that. And, so we, but I still needed to kind of move forward. I was thankful for the relationship with her. I was angry, upset, but certainly in denial for not months but years, because of that event and when it occurred. There. And then being a person of interest is, has its own dynamics. Oh, so they thought it might have been you? Well, there was that consideration. Now I had a, alibi. I was actually with my parents that night when this [00:23:00] occurred. So that, I mean, I lived alone. I was a single guy, so it was just happenstance, the Holy Spirit protecting me mm-hmm. From any kinda suspicions. But really they were trying to figure out who did it. And I was a witness to, that by being one of the last people to talk to her alive. Hmm. And now, you know, when we're recording, this is many, many years later, almost 40 years later, uh, but still it has sort of an emotional tag that goes with that. So all of us have had things that happen. My encouragement is, is no matter what, because I mean, you're in your podcast trying to help people go through trauma. You always have a choice about what you're gonna do with it. And as a trained counselor. A lot of times in the past, counseling was always about processing your past. I disagree with that. Is that we need to look to our future. Mm-hmm. You know, Carolyn Lee's research on, you know, you know who turned on, who switch off your brain and switch on your brain. Her [00:24:00] books really talks about what you focus on. Gets more on more of it. So if I go in counseling and just relive the event and relive the event and relive the event, well I haven't moved you forward. Forward. So I'm not denying its issues or what's going on or that it happened, I'm just denying it's hold in your future. So this is around forgiveness. I had to forgive the guy who killed her. Mm-hmm. Because, uh, you know, the old story, everybody has heard this, if you've been in any front of any servant, is that unforgiveness is like you taking the poison and wanting the other person to live. Right. We've all heard that. Yes. Well, we just need to be reminded of that to, I wasn't obviously agreeing with the heinous act. He did, but I had to forgive him so that I would be free in that his heinous act wouldn't be affecting me, plus my family and everybody else around me as well. So, uh, I don't think you knew that story was coming, Diana. Actually, I did. I [00:25:00] read your blog. Oh, you did? You did. Oh, well, you're one of the few. So, uh, and when I do my normal podcast, I don't mention this for very often, but you know, the Holy Spirit has lifted me up, been there beside me in that. It's not him who did this. You know, I can rely on him to be able to kind of build me up. And in fact, I have to, I mean, if we're going through life, we're just gonna have stuff happen. Mm-hmm. It's just part of the dynamic of living in a broken world. Yeah. It definitely is a fallen world. Yeah. I'll swing around back to what you said about forgiveness. Did the, murderer, go to prison or did he think of that? Yeah, he was eventually caught. What they did is they knew who he was, but they didn't, you know, DNA was kind of, just in its infancy stages then in 1982. So, what they did is they set up a sting operation and then they had somebody, you know, where people wear wire and they're recording what's being [00:26:00] said. There was some, someone in his life that he had semi revealed that he was involved with this. And so they knew that, but they couldn't prove anything. So then they set up this sting and then it went from there. And then once he sort of confessed in this, sting operation with this person, then it went to downhill from there. Yes, he was, I think his time, I think he's like in life, in prison for life. So was it easier to forgive that you saw some justice for your girlfriend, or did that not really matter? It's so long ago. I'm not sure if I recall if I was thinking either way, but mm-hmm. But I think finding the person who did it was important just for safety matters. Mm-hmm. And curiosity and just, you know, who was it that did this? I, knowing the person to a certain degree, I mean, because we had hired him and had interactions with him. He wasn't a hundred [00:27:00] percent there, if you know what I mean. Oh, okay. Just so, I don't wanna use the word simple, but I use the word just not a hundred percent. You know, the elevator didn't go a hundred percent to the top. And I think it was not planned. I believe that it was just a sexual advance go bad, and he went to a point of no return, that she's gonna say something, I'm gonna get into trouble. And the only way to stop this is to end her life. Mm-hmm. And I believe that's what occurred and what happened. So he was single, he was in his thirties. Mm-hmm. Uh, and you know, a lot of sexual predators are kind of in that category. I don't know if he was or wasn't. I don't know. And there was no other charges in other parts of his life. But that's kind of how that unfolded. Ian, you know, at this point, I'm obviously very, very sad. She was an amazing girl. And being my grad prom date had sort of a. Not sort of had a significance sort of in my history, in my life as well, but I was just thankful that justice was [00:28:00] done and those things were discovered. And I'm just saying to those people at watch who are listening, that, you know, no matter what happens, we have these choices to be able to move to the next level. I mean, I'm thankful Diana, for your ministry and Ministries like you that help people to kind of bridge that gap from where they are to where they need to do or some of the work that we do as well. So, you know, example is my parents, my mom mm-hmm. Still has not processed this adult child of alcoholic. Her behavior is around it. Mm-hmm. In interesting enough, my sister who is in her fifties, and I hopefully she doesn't watch this, is you know, some of the tendencies are there too. Like, I know my parents won't watch it. But you know, if one of my family members watch it, is that, that worry side, that anxiety side that gets passed down? Yes. Now and obviously my depression side came out of that family dynamic. Mm-hmm. And then with my dad, never saying, never having a compliment. I think he just emotionally was unable to do it. Mm-hmm. Now, what's [00:29:00] really fun is my kids are 25 and 24 now, and they're very developed and skilled individuals. My wife Brenda, is a school teacher, so we're both in the professional development fields. Mm-hmm. And for their age. The kids are amazing. Of course, parents are biased about this, but they really mess with grandpa and grandma now. Oh. So my daughter will go in there, grandpa, we really, really, really love you. We really do. Just waiting to see if he'll say anything. And then he'll go, so he'll mumble and then he'll kind of be embarrassed. He'll look down. And it's not that he doesn't have any emotions, but the kids kind of know that. And they just, because grandparents can't mess with their grandkids that way. And then my son will do the same thing with them. And so from that point of view, we've just loved on them, accepting them for where they're at. I feel badly for them that they haven't been able to brace everything that they could. You know, when we're in the stressful situation, we are in the world right now. They have just taken the [00:30:00] worry of the whole world upon their shoulders. Right? You know, God's very clear in his word. Fear is from the enemy. Mm-hmm. You know, it doesn't mean stupid, but there's not one scripture that I'm aware of unless you want to correct me, Diana, that says, you know what? Being fearful a little bit's. Okay. Everything is fear. Not Well, you know, God says, he gives you fear so you don't jump off the edge of a cliff or, bungee jump off of Well, I have bungee jump, but I hear what you're saying is that, that fight or flight, yeah. That's a healthy fear. It keeps you from doing something really stupid. Mm-hmm. But, and then when we get into the scripture, you know, fear fear of the Lord is really a reverence for 'em if you get into the Greek and the Hebrew. Mm-hmm. Is that it's reverence for them and it's honoring of them. And in that's part of the problem in the global society right now. There's no fear of him. There's no reverence for God anymore. No. And so it's a godless society in many ways. That's why people are acting out when you take [00:31:00] God out, then you get these situations where people are spiritualists and they really are acting on their own. And the enemy is controlling them. Mm-hmm. Exactly. And their flesh. Yeah. Well, for sure. And if it's not modeled for you and we teach that in our development factors model that as an observer, as a child of the relationships around you, that's all you know to do. Yeah. And of course we think that life is around social media, that it's around podcasts like this, but there was none of that. Mm-hmm. Back 50, 60 years ago. And in fact, the TV was just even coming in and some of the examples there, and most of the examples were way more wholesome. Yeah. And loving back then. I think the. The most amount of violence was on gun smoke. Uh, I love that show. Of course. I mean, those of us that are older, remember that one? That was great. So part of what, you know, I wanna encourage the listeners [00:32:00] is, people do the best that they can with what they know. My mom has told me that she loves me, but it's kind of an awkward thing. It's a thing that she does there. If I say that I love her, then she would say, well, me too. Um, but not everybody is that way. And then you talk about intimacy. We used to joke with my parents that said, how do we exist? You guys never touch each other. Like, how did it even happen? Like, was it an accident while you were sleeping or something? So we used to just, we joked about that because there was zero. Intimacy between them. And but I think that again, was cultural and that was part of it. Now, when we think about ministry and spiritual life, and again, the, hopefully this reaches people and it touches your heart for the I went to a church that really nice people, but the services were equivalent to a funeral. Oh yeah. And then the other one is, is when you have the theology and the mindset that you do in that group, they were one of the, some of the most miserable people [00:33:00] that I knew, and this was the Christian Church. I said, well, why would I wanna be part of this? Right. 16, 17, 18, 19, I really fell off and I was crazy, wild and everything. Went to college found out that, uh, man, I could buy four cases of beer for 20 bucks back there in the province of Alberta. And the drinking age was 18 and that's what I was. And so it was a crazy time for me. But then when I got into my later years of my twenties, 26, 27, I was invited to a Bible study by a friend of mine and I said, I don't know. Like I always knew God was there. Mm-hmm. But I really didn't wanna have anything to do with him. I wasn't vile. There was some people that were violent. I was just disinterested in Christian people. Mm-hmm. The number one reason that I left the church were Christians. Yep. At least in my head. But I was around 25, 26 and I went to this Bible study and that this friend of mine, he had, it was a business owner and he had it one Saturday a month. And I walked in this room and [00:34:00] here are these Christians telling jokes and having fun. And it says those two things don't coexist with being a Christian. So he is having fun, he is telling jokes, he's enjoying himself. It wasn't a legalistic pet. And abyss. I said, what? And so all of a sudden my eyes were started to open up and then the spirit, oh no man, the spirit's gonna come. I might even cry. But he came to me because he had me tagged for this kinda work, right? Is he says, Ken, it's not about you and them, it's about you and me. Mm-hmm. So when we have issues with other people, it's always about going vertical. People will always disappoint you. And then his other, his next word to me was clear. He says, and Ken, when were you? Perfect. So none of us are perfect. And so, you know, some of the most judgmental people I've ever met were, have been in the Christian environment, right. That legalistic kind of side. And I said, okay, fine. [00:35:00] Now moving towards it. And that's when I was baptized in a friend's pool, I think it was 28 years of age, and started to go on this journey. And then later on started doing more work for Ministries and said, you know what? I really want to hone my, ministry side and decided to. Take additional biblical studies. Mm-hmm. And then be ordained actually through a friend of mine who, he has a pastor of a church, but he also is one of our associates. 'cause we license other people, around the world to use our tools to serve their community. So this pastor was using it to serve his team and all his team members were going through it. And he also was doing community outreach. And he says, no, we'll, Andor and you. Ordain you under our, CEEC banner. So there's probably about 4,000 kind of interdenominational groups that are under this banner, and that's why I'm ordained under that. I think, I don't know if I mentioned this in the podcast we were together yesterday, or the session yesterday, is I don't ever see myself being quote unquote a pastor of [00:36:00] a church, but doing extended ministry, helping people in ministry and leadership. I've, done a lot of retreats for leadership mm-hmm. For denominations because I can bring the expertise as a leadership in professional development consultants and well as a consultant to bear with the ministry context. And so it's just adding, and that's where I love actually doing the work. We have a local church, one of the larger ones, and the youth minister is a friend of mine. He also does apologetics. And so what we started to do is do his leadership group on our personality. I have a book called, why Aren't You More Like Me? Mm-hmm. And every once or twice a year, we would do retreats for those youth leaders that were 18 to 30 years of age. And in that moment I said, you know what? God has created us uniquely, but also perfectly for the assignments that he has for us in life. It's our responsibility to figure out [00:37:00] what that is. So, Dr. Pastor Randy, would get up front and he would say, next to accepting Christ. He says, I think this is one of the most important things you could learn, because every single person on this planet has a personal style. Other people call it a personality. Mm-hmm. And you are gonna bring that to bear in everything you do, every relationship you touch, every work piece, and responsibility you do. And it's not right, it's not wrong. You are uniquely created for the purposes that he has for you and the plan he has for you and the assignments he has for you and every. Personality or personal style has related strengths and stuff. Challenges, I guess. So I need to be responsible for that. I have, if I didn't have the strengths and tenacity that I was naturally born with, no way, I would've had the fortitude or resilience to overcome some of the things that this company's been through and some of the things that have been in front of me in my life. Wow. On the other hand, you don't want me to [00:38:00] be the auditor of your ministry books 'cause I'll just say it close enough because I absolutely. I might have an MBA, but I really dislike the minute details. I'm really an idea person, even though I've written 4 million words. The words are through ideas to influence people to improve their lives. Mm-hmm. To write a textbook on trigonometry is, I need him to come here and I'm gonna go to heaven quicker. I'm never gonna write. So part of those of you that are watching our ability to say no is equally important as our ability to say yes. Mm-hmm. So our responsibility as individuals, as believers say, everybody says, okay, the're great commission to share his word with other people. Okay. But where doing what for you? So that is the bigger question for us individually, to say, where does he want you to go? What does he want you to do? And you know, if I would've followed the [00:39:00] cultural pressures, I'd still be on the dairy farm. Mm-hmm. With my. Two brothers. And so my youngest brother has taken over the dairy farm and now his son is looking at taking over and his son has got a son. So now you're talking five or six generations. That's great. That's fine. But that's not what I am called to do. So my encouragement is, if you're watching this, there's two things. First of all, don't let the pressures of the past and other people's expectation drive you. Really only a Holy Spirit can lead you. Mm-hmm. And some close advisors that have wisdom and insights or even a word of knowledge for you that you wouldn't know that's driven from the Holy Spirit, not from here. The second one is that is true for you and you're a parent, or you're a significant other, or you're a partner. Why wouldn't you honor that uniqueness of the people around them as well? A friend of mine who's a believer, who was part owner of the company that I now own a hundred percent and I, but I've known him for 40 years. He, when we first got involved with this, he says, [00:40:00] Ken, my son's really. He's not gonna amount to anything. He's the laziest kid I've ever met. But what he was saying, because my friend is a driven entrepreneur like this guy at 70 works 12 hours a day, six days a week, even now, and you can't stop him. And that's just who he is. It's the fabric of who he is. He was a dairy farmer as well, so you, he's already got that in his gene. His son, who was not really lazy, was just extremely easygoing. So his style was just Dad, no chill. Just chill. Dad, whatever. You know what he is now? Pediatric doctor. Aw. So, sometimes we go there and we judge people and we say, you're not gonna melt to anything. You're lazy. You shouldn't be doing this. And in fact, God had a calling for, his name is John. To be a doctor and think about his nature. He's caring for kids, he has a heart for kids, he has the temperament for kids, he loves on them as a doctor. And then [00:41:00] gifted on that, what a better place to be now. The relationship between father and son have never been better as part of it. You know, as you think about this, how can we create a space, a safe space for individuals like you or me to go on this journey of discovery with me, not because of what I say or don't say, but together so that I can help you realize your potential. And one of the things that is, um, I do still kind of get a little miffed at how Christians can put other people down for certain reasons. Absolutely. Or just people in general. I had a point, and now it's gone. It'll come back to me here in a moment. But part of this is that. We don't want to be judging people about their direction and putting them down for certain directions. Mm-hmm. Because now what we're doing is we're spilling our fear into their space. The reality is the enemy will bring people around you to discount you. We even talked about that yesterday in [00:42:00] the, Christian business owners call. Mm-hmm. Is that the enemy wants to discount your worth. Yes. If I go, I have zero people says, Ken, you still get nervous speaking in front of groups. I says, never. Never. If it's a thousand people, 2000 people, 3000 people, I love it. I'm energized. You ever get nervous? Getting on a show? Never does not happen. However, if I'm asked to preach in front of a church, then the worthiness, the enemy comes after me and says, Ken, do you know who you are? What gives you the right to speak about Christ's righteousness in front of these people? And so my, so I want to call it wisdom mm-hmm. To individuals, is that the enemy wants to discount that, there's a big difference between confidence and arrogance is that we wanna be confident in who he is. And yes, he has asked me to share his word with others in the context, and I've done preaching for people online and in services at churches, [00:43:00] and then also led, you know, Ministries through our work and leadership and personality and wellness and all these things. But I'm still working on this thing where the enemy wants to attack this. Who do you think you are? Hmm. When he called out Moses, when Moses says, well, I'm not equipped for this. We use the, scripture from Gideon. I'm the weakest of my clan. Why? Why choose my me? And I started to think about that. Think about all the people that God chose. To lead and be in front. Half of them are murderers. I mean, I'm being demonstrative, but Right. So, hello. That didn't exclude them. Then you have this Pharisee who is killing Christians on the weekend, who wrote nearly half of the New Testament. Absolutely. What are you talking about? Because he's trying to demonstrate to you, me and everybody watching the transformational nature of his spirit and that there is nothing that's not [00:44:00] possible if you're in his will and following it. I will never, in spite of all, like you were talking off air about these, I'll call it new age kind of positive thinking stuff. Mm-hmm. I will never be a basketball player. It's just not gonna Me neither. At five nine. It is not gonna happen. It's just, I can have all the goals in the world. I can visualize all I want. It's just not going to happen. But if it's in the context of his will, and here's the other responsibility. As believers, it's your responsibility to find out what that will is. Where does he want you to go? And again, to be really careful, be really cautious to only get feedback from those people who are trusted advisors that know the spirit. Oh, I know what I was gonna say earlier is my family, when I decided to leave my sales job to start my own sales training, even then my parents said, my dad said to me, why would you leave a company that gives you a free [00:45:00] car? And then they give you lunches. Two, what a what an idiot you are to leave that job, to start this training business. Well, that company, by the way, three or four years later, went bankrupt. So that was kind of a little get back at your dad moment there. And they sort of fine. But that's how people are thinking. They're well-meaning they're trying to protect you. But don't absorb their fear. Don't let their doubt come into your space. Sometimes you have to be extremely guarded about I'll call it the unbelief of others around you. When Jesus didn't chastise the disciples very often, but he chastised them about fear in the boat and the water. Mm-hmm. But he also chastised their unbelief when they couldn't heal the crippled individual who was come on, help me with the word Diana. Possessed. And they said, what? Why couldn't we cast out the devil? They said, because of your unbelief. So [00:46:00] sometimes we need to make sure that we guard ourselves and be around those people that really are there with us, Diana, on that side, I'm getting a little preachy now instead of just a podcast on those. I love it. I love it. But my, and we talk a lot about boundaries that you have to have boundaries, physical boundaries, as well as mental boundaries. Who are you hanging out with? Who are you allowing to influence you? That's super important. Oh, and in fact, I was talking about this on another, podcast just this morning that I was on, is that, the research is clear who you associate with matters, and the proof is, is that your five closest associates will be the highest level of influence. In other words, if we look at your five closest friends, I can almost predict. With certainty what you are going to be like, how you're gonna think, how you're going to act, because you're constantly influencing each other. Now I remember, and I know you're almost getting close to the end of the show, but one of my [00:47:00] colleagues, not a believer, but very wise guy, Dr. Marshall Goldsmith, one of the top coaches in the world, wrote the book Triggers and What Got you here won't get you there. And I was at an invite only event in New York with him and 20 or 30 other people in the coaching industry. And one of the things he stated, and this is so true, especially people with trauma and they have family, is that a lot of times you want to go to a new level. So Diana, you're going to a new level, you're doing the podcast, you're doing this ministry, you're growing, I'm growing. Your past, the people that you grew up in high school or the people that know you or your family, they wanna keep you where you were. They don't want to you to go where you're going. So an example is when I got my doctorate degree, we had a family dinner and it was kind of a celebration. And one of my family members said to me with almost with the stain, we are never calling you doctor. Hmm. And part of it is that they knew me for who I was 30 years ago. [00:48:00] And then of course I left the farm. I went on my own started to develop relationships and connections with amazing people around the world. Is that some, not that I'm better than them, but I am different. And so I don't really share what I do with my family members. And that's what Marshall was teaching in his group is that sometimes who you become doesn't fit the people that you used to hang out with. It doesn't mean you don't hang out with them. You just limit that you are being with your family. Diana, what are you doing? He says, well, I'm doing ministry work and I'm running a podcast and just really helping people to overcome trauma. And that's it. That's all it's done. We don't talk about the great people we met or 'cause what happens is you're seen as being arrogant and who do you think you are rather than colleagues where you're just sharing your excitement about this growth. Oh yeah. I had relatives come up to me 'cause they heard me, I was a guest on somebody else's podcast. Oh, she can't do that. You know, she's gonna hurt somebody. She's not a licensed counselor. She's not this, she's not that. [00:49:00] And I have had training. I get considerable training. I'm not a licensed counselor, but the program that I follow, was written by a trauma counselor and a theology professor. So that's called Mending the Soul, by the way. Mm-hmm. Anyway, yeah, they're definitely, we're all already people telling me, well, you shouldn't be doing that. Who are you? You're not some, super professional girl. You're just Diana, you're just an abuse survivor. That's all you are kind of thing. So, yeah. Well, what happens a lot of times is envy can come in, jealousy can come in. They wanna still contain you and me to who we were, but it's also still their perception is true with, one of my family members where, they go on, oh, you, you're always this person that talks too much. That's what my dad said to me when I was a teenager. And of course he was putting me down for my style and what I do. And it was interesting because even though he [00:50:00] says, Ken, you talk too much and put me down for my style. I was the person that asked to be m Mc of banquets when I was 16 and 17 years of age because I would be quick on my feet, I'd be able to have a responsiveness. And I also took. The responsibility of being an mc of a banquet. Seriously, because have you ever been to these banquets that's run by volunteers where you have just a terrible mc and they ruin the night? Oh yeah. Well, the opposite. I said, no. I take this as a profession. Mm-hmm. And recently, interesting enough, in spite of sort of the history, my dad has a group called The Pioneers, which are elderly people have been in our community for, 60, 70, 80, 90 years. And they asked me to be the mc. And so then I've done it for two years. They won't hold it this year. And people come and said, how are you able to do that? Because the people that were doing it before were on the board. They were, dementia was already setting in and they were trying to lead this banquet and it was just a [00:51:00] disaster, nice people. But they were way out of their element and they shouldn't have been MCing it. Here's a family trying to contain, you said, who do you think you are? Put you down for talking yet. It's my profession. It's what I do. I've been paid or have conducted 3000 presentations around the world in the last 32 years. Hello? What? Like, help me out here and just like your family, my dad is, just really unsure about what I really do. If I say I'm doing some speaking or training for like Chrysler, well, he gets that, but producing psychological tools and assessments and all the other work, like we were talking around purpose. No, they, they wouldn't get it. So part of, you know, all of that story from both of us for the viewers and listeners is that it's okay to move on, but also you don't have to share your new life with your old life. Yeah. And that you can be that person for them, but guard your [00:52:00] future sort of, expounding about what you're gonna do and writing these books and creating these e-course and all that kind of stuff, they don't care. They're not there. So it's interesting because my wife and I, when we go to family events we talk about emotional intelligence and we talk about interpersonal intelligence and we talk about self-awareness. But one of the things we do at family events, we, we have a game. We say, could we go all night with 20 people in the room with three hours a time? We're not a single person will ask us a question about us and we can do it multiple times. So we go to an event and Diana, how are you doing and what's new at the ministry? And, how's the family doing? And I heard you went on this trip, a gifted conversationalist is a person who asks questions, right? But what we note is that nobody asks myself or my wife a question. Now, there's the odd occasion where it does occur. It does happen, but it's extremely [00:53:00] rare. So people like to talk about themselves. So we might say, well listen, we're thinking about going to Hawaii. Oh, we went to Hawaii two years ago and we're over here. And all of a sudden they're telling a story, which is all about being self-centered about their trip to Hawaii two years ago. And we just shared what, where we're going to Hawaii. They didn't ask about where you're going, when you're going, who's going? No. They went on to their own. This is a conversational skillset that most of the population does not have. And by the way, for those of you watching play the game. Go out there and, don't talk about yourself. If somebody talks about something, make sure you respond to it, but then transition back to a question and see if you can go all night without anybody asking a question about yourself. And then here's the other one. Don't be offended by it. Give it up. Offense is a choice. You know, we talked about trauma and we talked about forgiveness, but being offended is also a choice. Mm-hmm. Dr. David's Burn's work around, trauma, if you've ever read his book feel good [00:54:00] is, I mean, it's got about 500 pages at four point font. Is that my response is always a choice. Yes. And even Dr. Gottman in his work around relationships is that once I get over 100 beats per minute non-athletic, I'm no longer rational. Well, that's where we have trauma. We have abuse, we have crazy things that happen. One of our number one constituents, we serve as law enforcement. So, Dr. Anderson, who founded the company, was a criminology professor. And then one of my co-authors, Dr. Mitch dti, teaches law enforcement officers emotional intelligence. What's the most dangerous situation for law enforcement to go into domestic dispute? Yes. Why? Because people are irrational. Mm-hmm. So I've let myself get ramped up. I'm now biologically I'm no longer in control of my emotions. Mm-hmm. And now I will say and do things that will regret. Now I'm completely [00:55:00] outta control. I mean, there was this situation that happened in Palm Springs a couple, two, three years ago where there was abusive situation carrying on. The officers broke up, the couple started to contain him, and then she got a gun out and killed both officers. Oh. So that's why officers in these environments, they said you have to watch your back because it's completely. Unpredictable as part of it. So I mean, there's obviously lots of things that we've covered today in the show and we've gone for our 55 minutes. Anything else, Diana, that you wanted to maybe poke your head into before we close? Well, we could go down a whole bunch of rabbit trails on a lot of things that you said. You said so many great nuggets. But maybe for our listeners, perhaps. Give like a list of actionable things that they can do right now. Now just before I do it, so that we don't miss you, I have a gift for everybody. Yes. And [00:56:00] so I'm gonna give you access to the e-copy, Of my the Quest for Purpose book in the get that is go to my speaker site, which is Ken Keys, K-E-N-K-E-I s.com/faithful. You'll in that hidden URL and of course you'll be able to put it in the show notes, Diana as well. Mm-hmm. Is that you'll be able to go there and then download the e version of the book. What I am sometimes shocked at is that I give away this book is that the amount of people who don't. Opt in to get the book. It is a roadmap, a step-by-step process to get clear about who and what and where, and what you should be doing in your life and all components. And now it's gonna take work, it's gonna take time, but where are you gonna be in six months if you don't do it? So, uh, it's there. I spent six months going through this process with my coach, Mike McManus, you know, driving three hours each way when it wasn't pertinent. So when I think about actionable steps, [00:57:00] and you think about people's lives, first of all, if you don't have a purpose in life, then your purpose is to find your purpose. And so that becomes the focus, rather than trying to say, I better be doing this, or I just take a breath. Allow yourself time and space. I've noticed that the Holy Spirit is never frantic. He is on time and he is moving forward, but he is never Fran frantic. And so, chaos is not from him. So just be peaceful, be quiet, and start paying attention and asking yourself this question, if you are doing what you're doing right now in all contexts of your life 20 years from now, is that okay? And if you say no, then that obviously infers change. So what is it that you're gonna move towards? Don't freak out. Don't try to do it all. I mean, if I'm trying to be a marathon runner this morning and then I said, I'm gonna run and do a marathon tonight, I'm gonna be dead. Just, I gotta [00:58:00] train for it. Yep. So life is the same way. The other one is for us and our resources, is that there's all different ways to get to clarity. So we have assessments and they're all learning assessments. So a values assessment, a self-worth assessment, a personality assessment we have a self-worth one I might have mentioned that already. And so all of those become puzzle pieces to create the clarity. The other one, Diana, is, is get a group that's gonna support you, look around and don't judge the five closest friend, but say are the five closest friends in a space that are gonna help you to go where you need to go. And sometimes one of my mentors used to say, you know what, Ken? Sometimes you need to fire clients. He says, why? He says, you've outgrown them. The client that you're serving now is not the client that you started with five years ago. So you know, like my fees and what I do is completely different than what it was 15 years ago. So [00:59:00] now start paying attention to that. And then the other thing is, is that life takes effort. If you get finish watching the show and do nothing and do no action steps, then you're gonna have the same thing tomorrow. So what are the steps that you can take? Start moving towards it, download the book. It's got a complete roadmap. And the other thing we'll make sure that my contact information is there, Diana, is that if people have questions, reach out, I'll respond as, as best as I can in the time that's allotted there. But I'll respond to you to be able to say, Hey, how can we help you or call you and your ministry? Mm-hmm. And some of the coaching that is available there. So that'll get you started. And again, don't try to do it all overnight. Just take one step at a time. The research shows is that if you try to three things at wants to change it, you have about a 15% likelihood of implementing it and a 75% success rate if it's just one thing. So one thing at a time, progress forward and keep listening to Diana's podcast. [01:00:00] And that should be the other step that they do too. Right. Wow, this was so awesome. I cannot wait to read that book and I hope that our listeners will download the book and get busy reading it and putting those things into practice. We will probably have to have you back again in the future because I can just tell you have so much more to share with us to help anytime to be able to serve and support and, you know, go granular in some of these other areas that we can talk about. For sure, anytime, Diana, So today, just choose one thing, one small thing to get you closer to your healing goals. God bless. Thank you for listening to the Wounds of the Faithful Podcast. If this episode has been helpful to you, please hit the subscribe button and tell a friend. You could connect with us at DSW Ministries dot org [01:01:00] where you'll find our blog, along with our Facebook, Twitter, and our YouTube channel links. Hope to see you next week.

Akixi Helps MSPs Differentiate and Specialize in the Cloud Communications Era, Podcast

Telecom Reseller

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 9, 2025

At Viirtue Connect in Nashville, John Christian, Vice President of Marketing at Akixi, joined Doug Green, Publisher of Technology Reseller News, to discuss how Akixi is helping MSPs and telecom providers stand out in an increasingly commoditized communications market. Akixi delivers value-added analytics, CRM integration, and call recording solutions that enhance cloud-based telephony and UCaaS platforms. “We exist to help our partners solve business problems—whether that's missed revenue, productivity challenges, or customer experience gaps,” Christian explained. “In a world where everyone is selling the same call control, Akixi helps service providers differentiate.” A channel-only company, Akixi focuses on scalability, ease of provisioning, and simple billing—making it easier for MSPs and service providers to package and deliver advanced reporting and analytics alongside their UC offerings. Christian noted that some partners now lead with Akixi when selling their communications platforms because the real-time call analytics and visualization tools deliver immediate value to business customers. During the discussion, Christian highlighted a growing industry trend: specialization. “The MSPs that are succeeding are those who understand their customers' specific challenges—whether in healthcare, recruitment, or retail—and build tailored solutions around those needs,” he said. “Specialization builds trust and reduces perceived risk for customers transitioning away from legacy systems.” As MSPs look ahead, Christian believes differentiation will come from layering insights, integration, and intelligence on top of standard UCaaS platforms. “We help our partners move beyond selling technology to delivering outcomes—and that's where the real opportunity lies.” To learn more about Akixi, visit www.akixi.com.

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Why Single-Service Agencies Struggle (and the Smarter Way to Specialize)

Seven Figure Agency Podcast with Josh Nelson

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 6, 2025 8:29

When it comes to building a successful digital marketing agency, the common advice is: specialize. But after working with over 170 agencies that scaled past $1M, one thing is clear, agencies that only specialize in one service often hit a ceiling. The Problem with Single-Service Specialization If your agency focuses on just one offering, like [...] The post Why Single-Service Agencies Struggle (and the Smarter Way to Specialize) appeared first on Seven Figure Agency.

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E182 |

Age of Jeremy

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 1, 2025 46:44

Get 30 Days of Merlin free at MerlinCrypto.Com In this episode! In the News: H1B Visa's are now $100K H1B Visas are now $100K. Does this effect you; maybe not. It could affect my business Age of Radio. I'll tell you how in News You Should Know! Article here: N/A Today's Main Topic: It's Time To Specialize! I have spent a lot of years building business and learning a lot, but I haven't continued to increase my knowledge in the things I "Specialize In." Things like Music, Finance, Audio Engineering, and Advertising. I'm going to touch base on what I am doing, and I encourage you to make a plan of action to continue to grow in your specializations. Enjoy! Join the Age of Radio Discord | ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://discord.gg/EeamD8WcjN⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow me on Goodpods ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://goodpods.app.link/usUyBZzhuNb⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Free Financial Consultation: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://forms.gle/B6nNZ2FbxbhESCHg9⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Red Wizard Gaming Society: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://discord.gg/9D43EszdUB⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ DM if you are interested in Life Insurance! If you or someone you know has been struggling or in crisis please call or text 988 or chat ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠988lifeline.org⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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How To Get In Front Of Your Dream Clients In 2025

The Modern Hairstylist

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 29, 2025 25:01

In this episode of The Modern Hairstylist Podcast, host Hunter Donia and guest Jodie Brown show stylists how to build true top of funnel visibility that turns into bookings. If you have been doing all the right things but still feel invisible, this conversation focuses on getting the right eyeballs on your work and keeping them engaged. Whether you are rebuilding your book or simply ready to be more discoverable, you will learn how to research your ideal client, show up where they already spend time, and keep your profiles search and AI ready without living online all day. Key Takeaways:

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679: Specialize or Die: Ron Butler's Brutal Advice for New Mortgage Brokers

I Love Mortgage Brokering

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 29, 2025 31:53

What's the fastest way to fail as a new broker—and what's the one move that could save you? In this no-punches-pulled episode, Ron Butler lays out what's really happening in the mortgage industry right now—and what new brokers must do to survive it. We cover everything from tech disruption and lender consolidation to why generalist brokers are getting crushed. If you're building a mortgage business in 2025, this is required listening. We'll cover: Why Volume Isn't Enough – What it means when the market grows 56%—and you don't. The Tech Arms Race – How platforms like Nesto and Edison are quietly reshaping broker competition. The Myth of Blockchain – Ron's take on crypto, NFTs, and whether any of it matters in our space. Specialize or Get Smoked – Why new brokers need to niche down yesterday. The Harsh Truth About Lender Trust – What lenders are watching—and what they won't tolerate. This industry isn't slowing down. Brokers who win the next five years will do it by specializing, focusing, and executing. Everyone else? They'll be gone. To connect with Ron, check out the links below: Instagram https://www.butlermortgage.ca/ Follow me on Instagram: www.instagram.com/scottpeckford/ I Love Mortgage Brokering: www.ilovemortgagebrokering.com Find out more about BRX Mortgage: www.whybrx.com Subscribe to my 3-2-1 Thursday Email I Love Mortgage Brokering is in partnership with Ownwell. To see how top brokers are keeping clients engaged and generating leads from their database, visit ownwell.ca/scott.

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Ep853 | Defining And Dominating Your Niche In A Cash-Based PT Clinic

The P.T. Entrepreneur Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 25, 2025 19:36

The One Thing You Must Nail When Starting Your Cash-Based PT Clinic: Your Niche In this episode, Doc Danny Matta explains the #1 decision that will make or break a new cash-based clinic: defining a clear, winnable niche. He shares real client stories (Rainmaker → Mastermind), how his own clinic launched by owning the CrossFit space, and a simple 3-part test to choose a niche that actually grows your business. Quick Ask Like the show? Share it with a clinician friend or on your IG stories and tag Danny—help PT Biz move closer to the goal of adding $1B in cash-based services to our profession. Episode Summary Core thesis: If you don't define your niche early, your business will stall. If you do, traction accelerates. Rainmaker → Mastermind arc: Rainmaker helps you go full-time; Mastermind helps you scale beyond yourself into a standalone space and team. Real example: A client's schedule exploded after she narrowed her audience, created content for them, and showed up where they congregate (workshops + the right Facebook groups). Danny's launch playbook: He chose CrossFit in Atlanta (credibility + interest), then expanded later to runners and entrepreneurs as the clinic's reputation grew. Mission + money: “No money, no mission.” You can do pro bono after your model supports itself. The 3-Box Niche Test Can you help them? Litmus test: if you only got paid after they achieved the outcome, would you take the bet? Do you like working with them? Authentic energy wins. If you don't enjoy the group, your marketing will feel forced—and flop. Can they afford you? Some populations (e.g., heavy Medicaid pediatrics) won't support a cash model. Match your service to a segment with willingness and ability to pay. Why Narrow First (Then Expand) Speed: Clear messaging and offers convert faster when you're “the go-to” for a specific problem in a specific community. Referrals: Specialists are easier to recommend than generalists. Ops simplicity: Marketing, workshops, and content focus around one avatar—less guesswork, more reps. Expansion later: Once you dominate one niche, broaden to adjacent groups with confidence and social proof. Field Notes & Examples CrossFit start: High credibility (MobilityWOD teaching, comp-team experience) + enthusiastic buyer segment (membership fees, gear, coaching) = fast traction. Entrepreneurs niche: Emerged organically via networks; recurring “continuity” check-ins became a valuable service. Runners: Military background created deep reps with run-related injuries—an easy adjacent expansion. Pro Tips You Can Use Today Audit your schedule: Which past patients did you love helping? Start there. Map the congregation points: List 5 IRL spaces (gyms, clubs, studios) and 5 digital spaces (FB groups, forums, local hashtags) your niche already uses. Publish niche-proof: Create 3 quick pieces: a “Start Here” guide, a case study, and a workshop outline tailored to one avatar. Use the bet test: Would you take the patient if you only got paid after the result? Plan for give-back later: Build profitability first, then add pro bono for populations you care about. Notable Quotes “Until I got really clear on who I wanted to work with, I struggled to get traction. When I defined my person, my schedule exploded.” “No money, no mission. A strong business lets you create the impact you want—including pro bono.” “The riches are in the niches. Specialize first; expand later.” Action Items Write a one-page niche brief: problem, desired outcome, objections, congregation points. Book 1–2 workshops this month with that niche's top local hubs. Record a 3-part content series answering the avatar's biggest pains. Set a 30-day focus rule: all marketing time goes to this one avatar. Programs Mentioned Clinical Rainmaker: Coaching + plan to get you full-time in your clinic. Mastermind: Scale beyond yourself into space, team, and systems. PT Biz Part-Time to Full-Time 5-Day Challenge (Free): Get crystal clear on expenses, visit targets, pricing, 3 go-full-time paths, and a one-page plan. Resources & Links PT Biz Website Free 5-Day PT Biz Challenge About Danny: Over 15 years in the profession—staff PT, active-duty military PT, cash-practice founder and exit—now helping 1,000+ clinicians start, grow, and scale cash-based practices with PT Biz.

From Stylist to $13M CEO: Terra Harvell on Entrepreneurship, Hair Extensions, Systems & Salon Success | Terra Harvell, CEO of Harper Ellis Hair Co. & CEO of Strata Salon Systems

The Hairdresser Strong Show

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 22, 2025 37:22 Transcription Available

From stylist to $13M CEO, Terra Harvell shares how she built her empire through hair extensions, smart systems, and leadership—and why new talent and startup hairpreneurs need to think beyond the chair to create lasting success.Follow/subscribe to be the first to know when new episodes are released. Like what you hear? Leave us a review!KEY TAKEAWAYS:

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Why Niching is Failing Graphic Designers and What to Do Instead

The Angry Designer

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 16, 2025 13:06

Every designer has heard it: “Pick a niche. Specialize. Focus.” Even on THIS podcast! But here's the uncomfortable truth... niching alone is a trap. The wrong kind of niche doesn't just slow your career, it cages you, makes you replaceable, and puts your future in the hands of clients, tech, or the economy.This should sting: most of you are doing it wrong. You're either chaining yourself to one fragile industry or boxing yourself into a single craft that AI and Fiverr can wipe out overnight. That's why so many designers feel stuck — hustling project to project, disposable the moment the job is delivered. Few will admit it, but most are already losing the niche game.But here's the shift: there's a better way. This week on The Angry Designer Podcast, we're blowing up the myth of niching and showing you how traditional niching is failing, and how stacking your skills makes you harder to replace, stickier with clients, and impossible to ignore.In this episode you'll learn:How industry niches can collapse and what to build insteadWhy craft niches can turn designers into one-trick poniesThe skill stacking method that creates a design ecosystem clients can't walk away fromThis isn't just about niches. It's about whether you're going to stay trapped in an outdated model or step into the future of design. The choice is simple: keep doing what every other designer does, or stack your skills and become the one they can't let go of.Subscribe to The Angry Designer Podcast for no-BS design truths, controversial takes, and the lessons that help you charge what you're worth and build a future-proof creative career.Stay Angry our Friends –––––––––––Join Anger Management for Designers Newsletter at https://tinyurl.com/mr4bb4j3Want to see more? See uncut episodes on our YouTube channel at youtube.com/theangrydesigner Read our blog posts on our website TheAngryDesigner.comJoin in the conversation on our Instagram Instagram.com/TheAngryDesignerPodcast

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A Special Needs Mom Survives Abuse: Ashley EP 217B

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Play Episode Listen Later Sep 10, 2025 2652:01

In this episode, Ashley shares her powerful story of overcoming domestic abuse. Ashley recounts her tumultuous marriage marked by emotional and psychological abuse, her journey through a traumatic childbirth experience, and her eventual separation. She discusses the impact of her childhood abuse, her struggle with self-doubt, and the challenges of single motherhood with special needs children. Ashley also shares how her faith and community support played vital roles in her healing journey. The episode concludes with Ashley's advice for others in abusive situations to prioritize self-care and seek supportive communities. 00:00 Introduction to the Podcast 00:34 Meet Ashley: A Survivor's Story 01:38 Ashley's Background and Journey 04:19 Challenges of Parenting Special Needs Children 05:12 Coping During the Pandemic 06:55 Ashley's Upbringing and Faith Journey 14:21 Meeting Her Husband and Early Red Flags 16:15 The Birth of Ashley's Children 21:34 Experiencing Abuse and Control 23:26 Realizing the Extent of Abuse 24:15 Deciding to Leave 25:42 The Second Separation 32:05 Ongoing Abuse During Divorce 35:02 Healing and Support 38:56 Faith and Moving Forward 41:53 Closing Thoughts and Encouragement Website: https://dswministries.org Subscribe to the podcast: https://dswministries.org/subscribe-to-podcast/ Social media links: Join our Private Wounds of the Faithful FB Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1603903730020136 Twitter: https://twitter.com/DswMinistries YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxgIpWVQCmjqog0PMK4khDw/playlists Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dswministries/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DSW-Ministries-230135337033879 Keep in touch with me! Email subscribe to get my handpicked list of the best resources for abuse survivors! https://thoughtful-composer-4268.ck.page #abuse #trauma Affiliate links: Our Sponsor: 753 Academy: https://www.753academy.com/ Can't travel to The Holy Land right now? The next best thing is Walking The Bible Lands! Get a free video sample of the Bible lands here! https://www.walkingthebiblelands.com/a/18410/hN8u6LQP An easy way to help my ministry: https://dswministries.org/product/buy-me-a-cup-of-tea/ A donation link: https://dswministries.org/donate/ Ashley Transcript [00:00:00] Special thanks to 7 5 3 Academy for sponsoring this episode. No matter where you are in your fitness and health journey, they've got you covered. They specialize in helping you exceed your health and fitness goals, whether that is losing body fat, gaining muscle, or nutritional coaching to match your fitness levels. They do it all with a written guarantee for results so you don't waste time and money on a program that doesn't exceed your goals. There are martial arts programs. Specialize in anti-bullying programs for kids to combat proven Filipino martial arts. They take a holistic, fun, and innovative approach that simply works. Sign up for your free class now. It's 7 5 3 academy.com. Find the link in the show notes. Welcome to the Wounds of the Faithful Podcast, brought to you by DSW Ministries. Your host is singer songwriter, speaker and domestic violence advocate, [00:01:00] Diana. She is passionate about helping survivors in the church heal from domestic violence and abuse and trauma. This podcast is not a substitute for professional counseling or qualified medical help. Now here is Diana. So today on the wounds of the Faithful podcast, we have a survivor story today. So please welcome Ashley to the show. Thanks for coming on the podcast and sharing a bit of yourself with us. Hi. You're welcome. I'm glad to be here. I haven't seen you since the girls. We went over to Starbucks for an outing and we had that incident with the spider. Yes, I know. Multiple spiders crawling around the table and on you. Oh, well I thought that Kelly had killed the one on the ground and then we found out there was another [00:02:00] one and it was on my shoulder and you wanna see me freak out? Okay, that's how you get me to freak out is a spider. So here we are trying to kill the spider. But we had a good time. It was fun. Just fun to get out. It was a hot day. We were out there roasting in the heat, but it was just fun to get out and, have some girl time. Right? Yes, definitely. We needed it. So, let's, get to know you a little better. So give us a little introduction about yourself. What general part of the country are you from, and are you married? How many kids you got, what do you do for a living? That kind of stuff. Okay. Well my name is Ashley, and I live in Arizona. I've been here for five years now. I was living in North Carolina with my husband and our family for, we were on the East coast for about, oh gosh, probably about eight years or so. And, living in, in North Carolina, Virginia, and [00:03:00] that area. So I met Diana through Mending the Soul. I joined because I have been separated from my husband for, about a year now. We've been separated twice and that was due to abuse that was going on in the marriage. So I have a history of abuse in my life, starting from when I was little. There was abuse that happened outside of the home, with. People that were slightly older than me. And that was more of like a, sexual abuse or molestation kind of situation. And then getting married, I thought it was a good relationship. I thought we were a good team. And we, I think it, it was okay for a while until we had children and that's when things started. Unraveling and a lot of patterns started popping up all over the place of, all kinds of a abuse that, not physical, but it was [00:04:00] emotional, mental, psychological, spiritual abuse, all of those. And I'm still kind of working through and wrestling with the effects that that had on me. And it's still, I mean, I have good days and I have really, really hard days. So it's kind of, it's still, even though it's been a year of being apart, it's still all over the place. Mm-hmm. Um, but I do feel like I'm making progress and, many, the soul did help with that along with counseling. So that's where I'm at right now and I'm currently going to school to get, to become a speech language pathology assistant. And, I have about just one semester left of that. And then I know I'm so excited to, hopefully get to work with kids that are, you know, having difficulties for whatever reason. And I am a special needs mom. My, middle child has autism and. So that's been a journey. And then my youngest also has struggles in certain areas of learning. So, yeah, this [00:05:00] will help me also, while being able to help other people. So that's where I'm at right now. So your special needs kids, what kind of challenges does that bring as a single mom and going through abuse? Mm. Oh gosh. I hadn't really thought of it in that context before, but it's a lot because you're, as a parent, you're trying to focus on their needs and trying to meet them where they're at, but at the same time, you're trying to meet yourself where you're at. So it's constantly trying to think of everyone's needs and trying to meet everyone where they are, including myself. So it is, it's a lot to think through. Every day. Yeah, but I love 'em and I mean, it's amazing to see their growth and, yeah. But it is definitely a struggle. So your kids free today, get a break, but how have you been coping during the pandemic with your kids? [00:06:00] What have you found that works? Yeah, so thankfully I've been talking to family about this also, our schedule. Because of Kim, his running his elopement, we have a hard time going to a lot of places already. So even before the pandemic, we didn't go to a lot of stores or we mostly spent our time outside and at home. So that really, I think, helped set us up for this situation because it wasn't a huge jump, you know, from being out around people all the time to nothing. So we were already kind of ready in some ways. So it's a lot of time outside as much as we can. The kids love roller skating. They love swimming. They love, yeah, just being outside doing anything they can. So that, and then, even doing games inside the house together is fun, like pillow fights or box, like my youngest likes to, like, he's practicing boxing and he loves to, [00:07:00] like I put on the oven MITs, and then he has his little boxing gloves, which is so cute. It's, it's fun. And, just trying to get their energy out. And then I work out also, so we're trying to like get all that energy from all of us. So it's, that's been good. Well, it's pretty funny. When we've had group, you know, the kids are there, three boys, like climbing all over her and poking her and mom, mom, mom. And she's trying to focus on, her part in the group, and, you just do the best you can, right? Yep. Exactly. That's, I think it's learning to just roll with it, so it's like, yeah, and like the pandemic continues to teach us that I think is, we just have to be able to roll with it as it comes. Wow. Oh, so tell us a little bit more about your upbringing. Were you raised in a Christian home? Not with my mom and my stepdad, who I lived with later, but my grandparents, who I lived with when I was little, they took me to the Nazarene Church and I was a part of that [00:08:00] community, so I was a part of a church. I don't particularly remember learning about Jesus or, salvation in particular. I just remember just in general learning about. God in general. And so that's kind of how I was raised. And then when I moved in with my mom and my stepdad, they're not a part of any faith community. So I would go either with friends to church, and then when I was older I would just go by myself, drove, I drove myself there. And and that's kind of how it started. What kind of relationship would you say you had with God? Was it personal? Was it God was distant or? Uh, I think when I was very little, I didn't feel like I had a relationship really, but always as I got older, I remember always feeling like he was there. I remember always feeling like I didn't quite understand how I knew that, but he just, I just felt like he was there with me. And then as I [00:09:00] continued. Learning more and especially after Ava, or sorry, especially after my daughter was born, I really realized the connection with Jesus and got, had my relationship with God through him. And so that's when it really became very personal. So like in the last 10 years, more so. Do you remember when you actually made that decision? Was there a day? Yeah, I don't remember the date, but, we had started having struggles in our marriage pretty soon after Ava was born and I was feeling so confused and so lost and like I needed to be doing more. And so I was going through the Love Dare book and in there it was really a really good book for that moment. And it lays out. Scripture each day. And at the end, it gives you an opportunity to accept Jesus. And I remember being so blown away during that book because no one had ever explained to me the importance of Jesus [00:10:00] and what he did for me. And so when I was like, why have I not heard this? Like, oh my gosh. And yeah. And so at the end I remember just sitting at the table crying, crying, like I could not stop crying. And it was like something inside of me just clicked and, yeah, so I said the prayer and, every, a lot of things changed after that and continued to change. Wow. That's, I've never heard a story like that. You know, I had The Love Dare book, actually, the guy I was dating. Mm-hmm. That was abusive to me, gave me that book, and it was really strange. He tried to get me to go back to my ex-husband, who was my one abuser, and, it was an excellent book, but at that time. There wasn't going to be any parting of the Red Sea Miracle with my ex-husband. I kept telling this guy, we're already divorced. It's over. Yes, I'm moving on. Yes. But it's amazing that you found Jesus through that book. I praise the [00:11:00] Lord for that. I know, and that's the, I think it's interesting because I started reading that book to help with the marriage. And it did somewhat, but I think the most, it was cool because God met me where I was doing what I was doing, you know? And it didn't matter why I started it. Yeah. It's just so cool. Amazing. So what were your teenage years like? Did you have a lot of self-confidence growing up? Oh gosh. I would say no. I mean, middle school was really hard for me. I had a lot of rejection and embarrassing things happen, and they kind of linked with the abuse. That happened when I was younger. And so that kind of, I spiraled quite a bit there and I just, I think, decided that I wanted to protect myself. And so I decided, okay, I'm gonna get straight A's in school. I'm gonna run track and I'm gonna do [00:12:00] the best I can with that and I'm not gonna get in trouble. And I just made all these like promises to myself, I think, to protect myself. So I think I appeared on the outside probably like I had. I a lot of confidence, but it really was protection and so I don't feel like it was confidence at all. It was all rooted in fear and trying to protect myself. So, no, I don't think I did. Mm. Now how did your grandparents play a part in your life? They were very significant. Mm-hmm. And they, yeah, they still, they're a huge part still. Yeah. I mean, it's hard to put into words everything that they've done, but they gave me a safe place. They've always been a safe place for me. And no matter what they, I have never felt abandoned by them. I've never felt judged by them. I've never felt, like they didn't try to understand me so they've always, they've been a consistent, safe place. Throughout my whole life. And [00:13:00] so even in those hard times, I, I did always know they were there. And, I would call my grandma instead of talking to my mom or anyone else, I would always call my grandma and talk to her. And she kind of helped me work through in college when I finally, I think I was hitting another breaking point in college when I was drinking a lot and really depressed. Honestly, I was running track at a college and. Trying to perform still, but then partying also. And there were these two parts of me that were like colliding and it was so painful and I didn't know how to get out of this situation. And so she helped me a lot through that also. And then later with my realizing the abuse with Dan, with my husband, and deciding to make changes there, she helped me a lot through that Also. Hmm. So yeah, her support has meant the world. I didn't really grow up with traditional grandparents. I didn't, my grandfathers died long before I was even cognitive, [00:14:00] and my dad's mother died when I was seven. And then my mother's mother, we didn't have a very close relationship because she was a very abusive person, and my mother mm-hmm. Didn't, my mother didn't want us around her and she really was a, nasty person. But, so I didn't really grow up with grandparents. I think that's why I was always friends with a lot of senior citizens. Were my good friends because I didn't have grandparents. I had, teachers and coaches and, the next door neighbor. Mm-hmm. I kind of clung too. So it was a blessing that you had have grandparents to be there for you and guide you through these tough times? Yes. Yeah. It's, it is. I mean, thinking about if I didn't have them, it's been hard enough. Even having that support. So I can't imagine not having that support. It's been, it literally feels like a gift. That God has put there to help me [00:15:00] get through all of this. And, yeah. So I'm just really thankful. So we're gonna transition to the unsavory part of the podcast. When did you meet your husband and were there any warning signs, that there was going to be abuse? So we met, we were both attending Arizona State University and we met there. We were part of a co-ed business fraternity. And, we met at a party and we, I mean, I felt like right away that I wanted to be with this person, even though I didn't know him. As I was telling you before, like I was in a really unhealthy place. All through college. It's because I, everything from my childhood hadn't been addressed and was still, all that pain was under the surface. And I think I was just trying to cover it up any way I could by drinking, sleeping with people. And, that's kind of where our relationship started. That's how it started in that [00:16:00] kind of context and. So we were both in a really unhealthy place. I think his, parents had just started the divorce process, I think when I met him. And he had a lot of pain from his childhood too. And so I think we both were just trying to cover up the pain. And so in the beginning I couldn't see any red flags because we were very similar, I think, in how we were. Covering up things and living life. And so it wasn't until really, until we had kids, because my attention was divided between him and the kids and my, and needing to take care of myself once my attention was divided, that's when all of the. The pattern started bubbling up, so I couldn't see it until quite a bit later. Mm. Wow. So when your children came along, you had a pretty dark time for you. Did you wanna share [00:17:00] about the, birth of your children? Yeah, I can. So my daughter's birth. Was overall good. We had to have a c-section because she was, she was not head down. She was bottom down and she did not wanna flip, which is totally, it's funny 'cause she's very, like kind of stubborn in her own way. And so it's funny that she just was like, Nope. Like, I'm good right here. I'm not moving. And so yeah, the C-section went well and, but. I remember I felt so sad in the hospital. I was so happy to see her, but at the same time, I think seeing her face and seeing how vulnerable she was as a baby, I think triggered everything in me at a whole new level from what happened when I was younger. So that's how her birth was difficult. And then, or my second child's birth. Was a slightly difficult Also, I was trying to have a [00:18:00] VBAC and the cord was wrapped around his, around his neck and his heart rate was dropping and so we had to go in for an emergency C-section. That one, went pretty well too. Overall, given the circumstances and everything. So it wasn't until a lot, our third child's birth. That was really, really difficult. And during that I was trying for another vbac, which looking back I wish I had not done that. But I was trying because I felt like that's, I really wanted that experience. And so I was trying and I found a doctor that would support me in doing that. And, um. It was, the birth was taking too long. I was kind of stalled in labor and they, I had an epidural and. I couldn't feel very much, but at one point I felt a pop. And this was as they were planning to get me into the [00:19:00] emerge, into the room to deliver, to via C-section. They were already planning it. We were just trying to get in there once it was open and available. Mm-hmm. And I felt this pop as they were planning this. And, I didn't know to say anything because I didn't. No, anything was wrong. I couldn't feel any pain. And we get into the emergency room, no, still no one knows anything has happened. And he's allowed to be awake and okay. And so I'm still awake and they find the, the rupture in my uterus. And I lost about probably half my blood and, and so that was very, very traumatic in and of itself. Getting out of the hospital was difficult because my blood still didn't look quite right to them. My blood work and everything, they weren't happy with it. And so, but I went home. And decided not to get a blood transfusion. Just because I didn't feel comfortable with it. [00:20:00] I ended up developing a hematoma and an infection, and had to go back in the hospital and was on antibiotics. I think it was about a week I was in there and. So when I came home, I was experiencing PTSD symptoms, but didn't understand that's what it was. Mm-hmm. I literally thought I was going to die all the time. I thought I was every minute of the day. Mm-hmm. I was checking to see what was happening in my body. Because I thought I was going to die for sure. And so I kept wanting to go to the hospital because I felt like what if I'm, I missed the infection before, I didn't know I had this infection. No one was telling me that I looked sick, you know? And I could have died from that infection. And, so yeah, I kept wanting to go to the hospital to see a doctor, just to make sure I was okay. And. I didn't understand what was happening to me, but at the time [00:21:00] he would tell me I didn't need to go to the doctor, you know, and yell at me that I, nothing was wrong with me, that I was fine telling me I didn't need to go to the doctor, making me feel bad about it. I was struggling to take care of the kids, because I was going through all this and not understanding what was happening. So this is where I really, really started to know that something was wrong, in the marriage because of how he handled this situation. So. Yeah, this is his children that he's talking about Most, you know, normal people. If you're, if you're suffering and it involves your kids or your spouse, you're gonna take them to the hospital. That's, that isn't normal. No. Even when I had the infection in my fever. I had started at home and I was shaking like I was, I couldn't stop. Like I would [00:22:00] shake out of the blue. My body would just, that's how far the infection had progressed. And he still was kind of telling me that I didn't need to go. But thankfully my doctor was like, you can come in tonight if you think you need to. And I was like, yes, I need to. Yes. When can I be over there like yesterday? Yes. So was that the first time that you've experienced abuse by him or were there other stuff on top of the post pregnancy and delivery stuff? There was, I mean, there was stuff here and there definitely like control over money, like making me feel bad about buying groceries like that. I spent too much, when I just, I mean I am very frugal. Like I love finding deals. I love all that. I mean, I am into that. I always have been. I am very particular about what I buy and mm-hmm. And I still, no matter how hard I tried to do a good [00:23:00] job, I would come home and it would not be good enough and it would be that I spent too much money. And so, yeah, it's definitely control stuff. I saw I was happening before, but I kind of took it on as this is something I'm doing wrong. And so it wasn't until the medical stuff happened that I realized. That I started to realize a little bit that maybe it was something else. Yeah. You're not the only one that had that. Mm-hmm. Had that problem with the spending money. I was in charge of getting groceries and buying all the Christmas gifts for his family, and it was always the same thing. You spent too much money and mm-hmm. And you bought too many groceries, like, well, why don't you try and get a full, week budget on a hundred bucks and see how good you do. Exactly. Or you buy all the presents for your family and see how well you do on the budget you gave me. [00:24:00] Yeah. The control, the verbal and emotional abuse. Mm-hmm. It's not just physical folks. Your abuser can make your life a living hell without laying a finger on you. Yes, and I think that's what I'm realizing now is I still have physical, issues related to the abuse that happened when Elijah was born. I have heart palpitations that I believe. Come from a mixture of what happened to me physically, but also what happened to me emotionally, that I felt so abandoned and so, confused during that time because of what was being told to me by, by my husband and. Yeah, and just realizing the extent that the damage goes, it's very different than, I mean, physical abuse and emotional abuse have some similarities, but Yeah. The, depths doesn't change just because we can't see it [00:25:00] on the outside. Exactly. Mm-hmm. When did you decide, enough is enough? I need to get out now. Was there a specific day or an event? Well, there were two, I mean two, it happened twice. So it happened in North Carolina. He was continuing to escalate as far as like telling me he was suicidal, which I believe he is. But he seems to, he uses it in certain ways to get me to stop doing things that he doesn't want me to be doing, like spending time by myself outside of the house or spending time with friends. Um. You know, not being able to have intimacy and things like that. So he uses that as a way to get me to stop. And so that was escalating also. He had started using intimidation, punching walls in the house, that kind of thing. So, and the friend had [00:26:00] just, I had never, no one had ever told me that what was happening was abuse. And I didn't know. I honestly did not know. And someone had just. That who had come from an abusive marriage had pointed out to me that I had told her what was happening at home. And she was like, that is abuse. And I was like, what? Are you serious? Mm-hmm. Like I was in shock that I didn't know that. And I think that was just a wake up call for me. When I have confronted it, he pushed back right against it and wanted me to come back home. He and, I, the kids and I had moved to a different house and, we're trying to figure out what to do and that's when I decided to move closer to my family. And so that was the first time we got back together about nine months after we separated. 'cause I just, I think I. I was struggling physically to [00:27:00] handle everything on my own, plus dealing with my mental health. And it was really hard. And I think I was struggling with how am I going to do this? And I missed having someone to share life with. I missed. And I thought, what if I'm wrong? What if I am, what if I'm wrong? And I'm just as messed up as he is? And, um, which I do have my stuff, but it's different. It's not the same. And so we got back together and then about, I think it was about three years after we got back together, all the same patterns had come back up. Mm-hmm. And it had started transferring over to things happening with the kids that as far as control and just emotionally abusive language towards them. And when I started seeing how it was affecting the kids, that's when I decided. No, I cannot let this continue. Because seeing that affect them, how it could affect them [00:28:00] being exposed to that long term, I can't handle that. So I think the kids have really, really helped me to do things for them and for myself that maybe I wouldn't, it would've taken me longer to do it if it was just for me, I think. So yeah, that's kind of how that happened. Yeah, I didn't have children early in the relationship. My ex didn't want kids right away, but then we were married about five to seven year mark then all of a sudden he decided he wanted to have children. And by that time, I already knew I was trapped in a marriage that was abusive and I did not wanna bring children into this world and subject them to that. Because like you say, it's fun if it's just me, but now I have kids that I am in charge of and you know, it's going to affect them. So I just made the decision and I told him, I'm not having children. Mm-hmm. [00:29:00] Sorry, I already have to deal with everything in the marriage that I didn't have. I wouldn't have had any, anything left. But, you made a lot of big points in that you didn't know that you were abused. And I was the same way. I was abused for 13 years and I used to call up my, one of my closest friends, and I used to cry every time. You know, this man would do something horrible and I would cry, and what am I gonna do? And mm-hmm. And one day, you know, she tells me. I'm tired of you calling me up and telling me all your stories. Every time this man does something to you and you need to get out of there. He's an abusive man and I'm like, but the church won't let me get a divorce. And she said, God is not going to not love you anymore [00:30:00] because you've made the choice to divorce this abusive man. That was the day that I, I woke up and I'm like, this is abuse. Mm-hmm. All this time, that's what this was. Mm-hmm. And I made the choice then and there, I need to make plans to get out. Mm-hmm. So , when you decided to leave the second time, what were the steps that you took to get out? I. Hmm. Let's see. So what was that? Was it similar to the first time or was it different? It was a little bit different. I'm trying to think through it. I was more on my own this time. I didn't like, I didn't have someone, I wasn't seeing a counselor at the time. I wasn't really a part of a group. I think I was the most isolated probably that I have been. [00:31:00] And so I really, I just, I think I talked to my grandma and just telling her what was happening. I also listened to some resources from Leslie Vernick and there was one in particular, I can't even remember what it was called, but it was about. Oh gosh, I can't remember specifically, but it was how a man was treating his wife in the Bible. And I think it was the Levite, maybe the story of the Levite. And when I saw their, just the implications of abuse and the effects and the seriousness of it, and that's not what God wants for me. I think once I saw that. I, that's when it really clicked. And I was also getting solo physically that I knew I had to do something. My body was starting to react, to all of the stress and [00:32:00] abuse. Heart palpitations, just constantly tense, feeling like something's going to happen. And so I think all of those things and seeing the effect on our kids, that's when I decided just to. Let him know that I'm not okay with it. And I'm trying to remember even we had a conversation and I let him know, I think we need to be separated. And at the time he agreed with me that we need to be separated, but he wanted us to stay in relationship still, even though we were separated. But I knew in my head that I was done. But it was good be that because that kind of started the process even though he thought that. You know, in his head he thought we would work it out eventually, I think it started the process and we lived in separate places. And then it just has continued from there with filing divorce. Hmm. So you're still in the middle of the divorce proceedings now, right? Yes. Mm-hmm. What's your [00:33:00] interactions been with him, through this proceedings? It's been. Just on and off communication. He, that's with him. He's not outrightly like, glaringly abusive, especially in text messages. That's never been how he is really, it's more covert. So the communication part, except for about a year ago, we had a situation where he wouldn't leave the house and, that's when I stopped being able to let him be here with the kids. But besides that, the communication has been minimal, thankfully. It's more been through money that the abuse has continued. And also through the legal proceedings, what he's asking for legally feels like abuse also. So yeah, he was like canceling credit cards and stuff on you. Yes, exactly. Yeah. Yeah. So it's those like subtle, [00:34:00] under the radar where people won't notice really that the abuse is still happening. Yeah. So you look like the bad guy 'cause you're leaving mm-hmm. Your husband, but he's like, trying to sell the house out from under you and the kids and cutting your credit cards. And it's like, how are you gonna feed the children? Where are they gonna sleep? I mean, these are your children. It's insane. Yeah. Your spouse makes you look like. Or makes you feel like you've lost your mind. Or like you said in the first time you left, well, maybe he's not that bad. Maybe I'm crazy. Maybe it's not him, it's me. No, that's what they do. That's what they do, is they make you question your sanity and the reality of the situation. Mm. And that's still, that is the hardest part for me, especially right now with thinking about having to share my story with the court, with [00:35:00] people maybe who side with Dan. And having him there in front of me as I share what has happened. I'm really struggling even right now with, yeah. Do I know what's real? Can I, can I hold on to that? And. Not get confused. Mm-hmm. So that's how the effects of psychological abuse go so deep. Like even if you know the truth, it can create this pattern in your brain where you start questioning yourself, questioning what you know. And you and I tend to go back to. Seeing it as my fault. So I really have to push back against that and be around people who help me remember the truth and keep telling my, reminding myself of what's happened and this is real. This is not something that I'm making up. So how did you start the healing process? Us? Oh gosh. I mean, I think it's been a constant process of trying to put [00:36:00] myself around people. Like I said, who will tell me the truth and, um, about myself and about the situation and how God sees me. So I went back to counseling. Recently after Mending Arm mending the Soul Group ended. I realized I needed to be around people still, and I needed people to speak that truth. So I went back to counseling and that's helped a lot. Still listening to, voices that remind me. Of how toxic that kind of situation is, and that I don't need to stay in that environment. And also it's just, I think a process of acknowledging how much all of it hurt, acknowledging the damage that was done, and just the reality, letting myself accept the reality of the situation. While also taking care of myself, like mentally, physically, and all of that. So it's definitely, it feels like a full-time, full-time job sometimes just, trying to keep myself going in the right [00:37:00] direction. But I'm definitely, I feel like I'm learning about what I need and, trying to meet those needs the best I can. Would you recommend manning this all to others? What was your experience with the group? Definitely, yes, I would recommend it. Yeah, that was a first for me, being around other women who have been through abuse, and I think that alone is huge. Just being able to hear other people's stories and realizing that the patterns are the same, even though the situations are so different and the effects can be very similar too. And, and also the steps to healing and processing what happened are so good. So it's just that combination of community with people who have been through it, and also the path to working through the, what happened to you. Well, I'm glad that it was so helpful to you. I've definitely seen some changes in you from the beginning when you joined the [00:38:00] group and now. So that, I hope that's an encouragement to you. You seem so more confident and you recognize those red flags. You understand now what he's doing to you when he's talking to you. He is gaslighting you. He is narcissistic. He is being manipulative. You're recognizing those things, whereas you might not have seen those things before. Mm-hmm. And, talking to our listeners that are going through abuse right now, or maybe they just left their abuser, what advice would you give to someone else who's being abused right now? Hmm. I think that, I would say to take care of yourself, and to think about what you really need. That it is not wrong to think about. What you need and where you are at. I feel like a lot of times, especially in [00:39:00] Christian communities, we take on this idea that I think thinking about ourselves and what we need is selfish or wrong, and I feel like that kind of, that mentality set me up to stay in that situation a lot longer, than I probably should have. So yeah, just considering what you really need, and. Getting people around you that will help you decide what steps you need to take, to get into a better position, a better situation where you can have healing, and, and just to yeah, feel better. So I would say, yeah, take care of yourself and get people around you that can support you and help you make a plan. Very good advice. What would you say your relationship with God is like now that you've gone through some of your healing process? Hmm. It's definitely, it's good, but I do, I still [00:40:00] struggle with, Not putting the characteristics. And protecting myself from God, I guess I have a hard time, like not distancing myself, and so it's always reminding myself that he is safe, that he cares about me, that he's leading me through this, and that I can trust him. So it is really good, but it is a constant, a, a journey also reminding myself of the truth over and over so that I can keep coming back to him and not hiding. Oh, that's, that is so true. It is a journey and it's messy Sometimes it's, but God understands he's there and he's gonna be patient and waiting for you while you're still figuring things out and, mm-hmm. Awesome. So like we have a music segment at the end of the episode. I don't suppose you're sing or play an instrument or juggle or anything like that. No. I play the, but I [00:41:00] don't have it. Oh, how about a joke? You got any jokes, kid jokes, cheesy jokes? No. Don't have any jokes? No. Oh, well, no. How about, I know that you have one of these. How about what's a Christian song that really encourages you and that you just go to it whenever you're having a bad day. Oh my gosh. I think I mentioned this one during the group actually. Mm-hmm. I can't remember the title of it, but it's, it's the one, like, he's greater than All My Mistakes. Gosh, I wish I can remember who, oh, I can't remember the name of the band. But anyway, it's something about, greater than all my mistakes, and if you type that in, it should come up. But it's amazing and it just talks about how, it's just such a peaceful song to me and just realizing that he really is, he's greater than all my mistakes. The mistake that I made of being in a relationship with someone that's abusive. Mm-hmm. [00:42:00] Any mistakes I make with the kids, mistakes I make with putting characteristics on God that aren't him, anything that I do, nothing is big enough that is going to change his relationship with me. And that he's always there, waiting for me to, turn and look at him. So, yeah, I love that song. I'll definitely put that in the show notes for people to look that up. 'cause I did listen to it when you mentioned it the first time and it is an awesome song. Yes. But I so appreciate you coming onto the show and sharing your journey with us. You're welcome. Thank you so much for having me. So I hope you really enjoyed Ashley's story today. She had a lot of great nuggets to share with you, and I've heard her story before, of course, in a lot more detail, a lot more gory detail, but you can tell that she is an awesome lady, an [00:43:00] awesome mother who's gone through so much, so many challenges. Yet, the Lord has really blessed her life, blessed her kids. How did you feel about what Ashley said? Can you relate to any of the struggles that she's had that she's continuing to go through? You have a prayer request that you'd like me to bring before the Lord. I have my personal time with the Lord usually at breakfast time, so I'd be honored to pray for you. So until next week. Choose one thing, just once, small thing today to get you closer to your healing goals. Thank you and God bless. Thank you for listening to the Wounds of the Faithful Podcast. If this episode has been helpful to you. Please hit the subscribe button and tell a friend. You could connect with us at DSW Ministries dot org where you'll find [00:44:00] our blog, along with our Facebook, Twitter, and our YouTube channel links. Hope to see you next week.

Building a Profitable Dental Practice

The Dental Brief Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 10, 2025 14:29

In this episode, host Patrick Chavoustie is joined by Dr. Tyler Hales who shares insights many dentists overlook about the business side of dentistry. Learn decisions and strategies that can make or break your profitability, team efficiency, and long-term success. These tips will challenge the way you think about running a dental practice.Here's what they cover:– Why the business side of dentistry matters– How different dental business models impact your career– Common mistakes dentists make when starting out– Specialize where your passion and skills shine– The value of mentors and building your support team– Hiring and training effectively to grow your practice– Key takeaways and next steps for practice success ***** SPONSOR: – Omni Premier Marketing: https://omnipremier.com/dental-marketing/ CONNECT: – Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thedentalbrief/ – Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thedentalbriefpodcast/ – LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dental-brief-podcast-564267217 – Patrick's LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/pchavoustie/– Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCd08JzybKfNH0v12Q9jf50w WEBSITE: – https://dentalbrief.com/

Should You Specialize? How to Choose a Specific Niche & Make Finding Clients Easier

Health Coach Power Community

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 28, 2025 21:45

If you're struggling to figure out your niche as a health coach, you're not the only one. In this episode, I'll help you get clear on what matters most when deciding who to work with. You'll learn: Why narrowing your focus can make marketing easier How a niche supports your efforts without boxing you in The three questions that helped me get unstuck A simple way to describe who you help and what they want You'll also hear a real-life example from a listener who asked about working with older men and wasn't sure how specific to get.

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#393 Michael Boyle - Should Young Athletes Specialize Early?

Lift Free And Diet Hard with Andrew Coates

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 26, 2025 67:00

Michael Boyle is the founder of Mike Boyle's Strength and Conditioning, author, and a pioneer and icon of strength and conditioning.Mike generously guests to share his wisdom and experience about:-Should kids specialize early in a single sport-Who really benefits when kids specialize early-Is there a relationship between early specialization and injury-What does it take to become a division 1 college athlete-How important is youth strength and conditioning to long term sport performance-His thoughts on seeing former interns doing social media trend video-His thoughts on the state of the fitness industry -His thoughts on high level athletes and injuries-Guarding your peace online-And much more01:33 The Problem with Early Specialization in Youth Sports07:05 Sponsorship Message: Macros First08:13 The Tiger Woods Narrative and Misinterpretations11:36 The Importance of Multi-Sport Athletes12:50 Sponsorship Message: RP Strength21:55 Strength and Conditioning for Young Athletes24:34 The Responsibility of Fitness Influencers35:56 Starting Soft: Building Team Trust36:50 Fitness Enthusiasts in Sports37:08 Longevity in Professional Sports40:06 The Financial Realities of Pro Athletes49:03 Social Media and Blocking Negativity50:48 Embracing Technology in Training58:36 The Evolution of Functional Training01:04:39 Annual Training Events and NetworkingI've been putting a lot of time and effort into making these new episodes valuable for you. You can help me get these great guests and their knowledge in front of more people by:-Subscribing and checking out more episodes-Sharing on your social media (please tag me - I promise I'll respond)-Sharing with the friend you think of who needs this episodeFollow Andrew Coates:Instagram:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@andrewcoatesfitness⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Join My Email List:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.andrewcoatesfitness.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Get the RP App at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.rpstrength.com/coates⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ - use the code COATESRPUse Code ANDREWCOATESFITNESS to save 10% off at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://justbitememeals.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Use MacrosFirst for tracking nutrition ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.macrosfirst.com/⁠⁠Go to www.knkg.com/Andrew59676 for 15% off your KNKG bag.

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TAPED TIPS | Is Working Weaknesses Holding Climbers Back?

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Play Episode Listen Later Aug 25, 2025 13:33

From the very beginning of trying to improve at climbing, we're told one thing: Work on your weaknesses. I've probably said this a million times myself. But I've also paid attention to what happens as a result of that type of instruction. And what happens is: we end up in this constant cycle of trying to determine what our weaknesses are and fix them. But there's a big problem with this line of thinking... Read the rest on the blog! Watch the video on YouTube! _________________________

Mastering Your BJJ Game: When To Specialize vs When To Expand

Bulletproof For BJJ Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 9, 2025 13:33 Transcription Available

When is it time to hone in your already cemented BJJ skills? Or when is it time to study up on the latest instructional by Danaher? Or maybe you are worried about mobility, and wanna try out our program. We believe you can make some gains in such little time, but we'd encourage you to stick with it for longer than 2 to see some serious improvement. We answer is all in todays QNA episode...----------------------BULLETPROOF SHIRTS: https://www.fanwear.com.au/products/core-bullet-proof-for-bjj-classic-tee----------------------Leave us a question for the next QNA episode:https://bulletproofforbjj.com/podcast---------------------Increase athleticism, reduce injuries and build a grapplers physique with the Bulletproof for BJJ App. Start your FREE 14 Day Trial today:iOS: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/bulletproof-for-bjj/id6444311790Android: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.bulletproofforbjj&utm_source=na_MedStay Hydrated with Sodii the tastiest electrolytes in the Game! Get 15% OFF: BULLETPROOF15 https://sodii.com.au/bulletproof

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Leveling Up with Kacie Mundell

SUMM IT UP

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 31, 2025 29:47

Something we love about working in the salon industry is that our careers are customizable. Want to work just one day a week? Specialize in blonding? Just do cuts? Split your time between two locations? Have back-to-back clients or work some down time into your schedule? All of these things are possible. Coming out of cosmetology school, Kacie Mundell knew she wanted the opportunity to grow and learn more advanced color techniques, and she wanted to have fun at work. First she got an entry-level job at a Summit salon company with a strong mentorship program that shared her values. Then the rest was up to her. Less than a year and two promotions later, Kacie's a level 2 stylist at her salon company. In this episode, Kacie chats with host Blake Reed Evans about the combination of guts, mentorship, relationship-building, and careful financial planning that got her where she is, and keeps her on the rise. At the time of this recording in 2021, Kacie Mundell was a stylist and color and blonde specialist at Herdis the Salon in Northampton, Massachusetts, and at Parker on Main in Greenfield, Massachusetts. Now she's an indepedent stylist in West Springfield, MA, specializing blonding and vivids. SUMM IT UP is produced by Andrea Muraskin, with editorial support from Tim Fisk. Follow Summit Salon Business Center on Instagram @SummitSalon.Follow guest Kacie Mundell on Instagram @kaciedoeshair_Follow host Blake Reed Evans on Instagram @BlakeReedEvans. His DM's are always open! Follow Summit Salon Business Center on Instagram @SummitSalon, and on TikTok at SummitSalon. SUMM IT UP is now on YouTube! Watch extended cuts of our interviews at www.youtube.com/@summitunlockedFind host Blake Reed Evans on Instagram @BlakeReedEvans and on TikTok at blakereedevans. His DM's are always open! You can email Blake at bevans@summitsalon.com. Visit us at SummitSalon.com to connect with others in the industry.

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Amanda Quinn - Quinn Growth Advisors - BPOs Must Specialize or Die Trying

CX Files

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 31, 2025 32:21

Amanda Quinn is the Founder and Principal of Quinn Growth Advisors. She is based in Raleigh, North Carolina, USA. In this conversation with Peter Ryan, Amanda talks about her work advising BPOs on how to build growth and develop a sales pipeline. Amanda advises focusing on deep expertise and specialization, rather than claiming to offer every single service and excelling at none of them. How can BPOs compete and leverage technology to improve what they offer to clients? https://www.linkedin.com/in/amandaquinnmalach/ https://quinngrowthadvisors.com/ SUMMARY: Mark Hillary and Peter Ryan discuss the challenges faced by BPOs (Business Process Outsourcing) in the market, emphasizing the need for specialization over generalism. They highlight the inefficiencies of BPOs claiming to offer a wide range of services without excelling in any. Amanda Quinn, founder of Quinn Growth Advisors, is introduced as a guest who advocates for BPOs to focus on niche markets and develop deep expertise. Quinn advises BPOs to identify their strengths through internal stakeholder meetings and client feedback, and to expand by adding related services or industries. She also stresses the importance of charging for value-added services and leveraging technology to enhance service delivery.

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110: Exactly How to Specialize in a Service and Become the Go-To in Your Area For It

Lash Biz Babes

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 29, 2025 20:46

Ever felt like you're good at a lot of services but wish people knew you for that one thing you really love doing? In this episode, I dive into what it actually takes to become the go-to person for a specific service in your area. Whether you're itching to specialize in bridal hair, lash retention, or killer brow shaping, this one's for you. I walk you through not just the mindset shifts but the actionable steps to carve out your reputation and do it with confidence, even if you're just getting started.I talk about how to position yourself like the expert you know you are (or want to become), how to build a reference sheet that makes content creation and marketing feel easier, and why consistency is non-negotiable even if you feel like you're shouting into the void. If you've been waiting for a sign to go all-in on what lights you up…this is it.What you'll learn in this episode:What's the first step to becoming known for a specific service?Why your social media bio matters way more than you thinkHow can you stand out in saturated local markets (without dragging others down)?The type of content that actually builds your brand over timeHow do you fight off imposter syndrome when you're just starting out?What messaging points should you be pulling into every client touchpoint?Hit play if you're ready to be the one clients recommend in local Facebook groups and to their friends. And if this episode resonates, come say hey on Instagram @lashbizbabes or @xoericaschram!Resources:Grab Your Free Social Media Content Guide: https://ericaschramm.kit.com/c85536608cLooking to grow your beauty business on social media in 2025? Let's talk! We help make socials easy for salons, spas, and beauty brands while still hitting your goals online! www.beautycorpro.comWhere We Can Connect:Let's be friends on Instagram! www.instagram.com/xoericaschramm

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Los Angeles County Divorce: Step-by-Step Guide | Los Angeles Divorce

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Play Episode Listen Later Jul 23, 2025 2:48

Divorce Mediation vs. DIY Divorce in Los Angeles County | Los Angeles Divorce

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Play Episode Listen Later Jul 23, 2025 1:40

⚖️ Divorce Mediation vs. DIY Divorce in Los Angeles County | Los Angeles Divorce

Step-by-Step Guide to an Amicable Divorce in Los Angeles | Los Angeles Divorce

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Play Episode Listen Later Jul 22, 2025 1:43

Divorce661: The Best Divorce Service in Los Angeles County | Los Angeles Divorce

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Play Episode Listen Later Jul 21, 2025 1:40

From Zero to $50M: The Electrifying Journey of Sam Primm to Ongoing Real Estate Greatness

Saint Louis Real Estate Investor Magazine Podcasts

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 3, 2025 37:18

Sam Primm scaled a $50M portfolio using the BRRRR method. Learn strategies for building teams, leveraging equity, and overcoming challenges in this inspirational episode of The REI Agent Podcast.See full article: https://www.unitedstatesrealestateinvestor.com/from-zero-to-50m-the-electrifying-journey-of-sam-primm-to-ongoing-real-estate-greatness/(00:03) - Welcome to The REI Agent: Mattias and Erica Introduce the Show(00:18) - Mattias Reflects on a Week of Illness and Erica's Support(03:43) - Meet Sam Primm: Real Estate Rockstar and Educator(04:06) - Sam Primm's Humble Beginnings and Journey into Real Estate(06:29) - From Modest Goals to Big Wins: Sam's Real Estate Evolution(08:36) - Understanding the BRRRR Method: Buy, Rehab, Rent, Refinance, Repeat(11:03) - Mattias Shares His Experience with Equity Lines and BRRRR(12:16) - Demystifying Hard Money: Practical Insights from Sam(13:46) - Building Teams and Businesses: Sam's Early Steps(16:31) - Real Estate Collaboration: How Agents Can Outsource and Specialize(17:52) - Why Sam Primm Hasn't Embraced Syndications Yet(20:48) - Finding Deals: Sam's Strategies for Consistent Deal Flow(23:47) - Scaling Operations: Analyzing Deals and Delegating Tasks(25:28) - Managing Growth: Sam's Insights on Team and Resource Expansion(27:34) - Navigating Cash Flow Challenges in Real Estate Investing(29:22) - Sam Discusses His Book, Own Your Freedom(32:16) - Recommended Reads: Books That Shaped Sam's Leadership and Mindset(35:16) - Closing Thoughts: The Power of Knowledge and Staying Steady in Real Estate(36:54) - Where to Find Sam Primm and Faster Freedom Resources(37:00) - Show Wrap-Up: Subscribe and Visit The REI AgentContact Sam PrimmFaster FreedomInstagramLinkedInTikTokX--Go to reiagent.com for more great content!

Winning Your First Developer Project: Lessons from Building Better Developers with AI

Develpreneur: Become a Better Developer and Entrepreneur

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 26, 2025 23:02

Breaking into freelancing or launching a side hustle can feel overwhelming, but winning your first developer project is one of the most important steps in building your development career. In this episode of Building Better Developers with AI, Rob Broadhead and Michael Meloche share proven tips to help developers land their first paying project—and do it the right way. Why Mindset Matters for Winning Your First Developer Project The first step to success is shifting your mindset. Rob emphasizes that you're not just writing code—you're solving real business problems for your clients. Think like a service provider, not just a developer. Your success comes from delivering value, understanding client needs, and focusing on outcomes. Michael reminds developers that while independence is part of freelancing, you still work for your clients. Listening, collaborating, and guiding them toward success are essential to building strong relationships. Specialize to Win Your First Developer Project One common mistake when trying to win your first developer project is offering every service imaginable. Rob and Michael both learned that trying to be everything to everyone can lead to frustration and poor results. Focus on the work you enjoy and excel at, such as: Web development API integrations Automation solutions Small application fixes Rob recommends starting with simple, high-demand solutions like landing pages or bug fixes. Michael reflects on how defining a niche helped him avoid projects he didn't enjoy and allowed him to grow his business the right way. Small Wins Help in Winning Your First Developer Project Rob stresses the importance of starting with small, quick wins. These projects help you build confidence, gain testimonials, and establish a reputation. Here's how to approach your first project: Take on projects you can complete within a day Deliver high-quality work with fast turnaround Gather testimonials or reviews from satisfied clients Use platforms like Fiverr, Upwork, or Freelancer to build your portfolio These small wins lay the foundation for bigger opportunities and long-term client relationships. Be Strategic When Winning Your First Developer Project Pricing is another critical factor when trying to win your first developer project. Rob and Michael offer this advice: Avoid underbidding to the point where you limit your future rates Under promise and over deliver to build trust Offer discounts in exchange for testimonials when appropriate Know your value and communicate it confidently Michael shares that early low bids helped him build relationships, but emphasizes the importance of aligning work with your expertise and long-term goals. Confidence and Clarity Lead to Winning Your First Developer Project Winning your first developer project is not just about technical skills—it's about defining your niche, delivering exceptional value, and building strong client relationships. Start small, focus on your strengths, and grow your freelance reputation one project at a time. Ready to take the next step? Listen to the full episode of Building Better Developers with AI for expert advice on launching your freelance development career. Stay Connected: Join the Developreneur Community We invite you to join our community and share your coding journey with us. Whether you're a seasoned developer or just starting, there's always room to learn and grow together. Contact us at info@develpreneur.com with your questions, feedback, or suggestions for future episodes. Together, let's continue exploring the exciting world of software development. Additional Resources From Side Hustle to Success Launch Your Side Hustle – Amy Harrop Interview Side Hustle Success Through Perseverance – Chris Myles Interview Side Hustle Ideas From Your Annual Review and Planning Building Better Developers With AI Podcast Videos – With Bonus Content

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Ep.375: Scale Up or Specialize: The 2 Paths to PT Success

Physical Therapy Private Practice: Secrets of the Top 10%

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 18, 2025 17:36

Discover the two paths every private practice PT owner must consider to thrive today: scale up or specialize. In this episode, we break down how to choose the right strategy for your clinic's success — and how to build a practice that's resilient, profitable, and aligned with your vision.

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E237: Course Mkt Challenge #4 - Lost in a Sea of Sameness

Course Creators HQ

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 17, 2025 16:51

Ever feel like your messaging is getting lost - because everyone is talking about your topic? In today's episode, host Julie Hood shares how to stand out in a sea of sameness. These 7 steps will take you from boring and bland to unique and intriguing. Get the full list at https://CourseCreatorsHQ.com/237. LINKS MENTIONED / RECOMMENDED Start planning your Sept/October launches now. This gives you lots of time to pull them together! Need some inspiration? Get the Ultimate course Launch Handbook to plan your two-week launch. It's on Flash Sale pricing this week of only $37... https://coursecreatorshq.com/WHWElaunch Join the Course Creators Launchpad to get your foundation in place! Join the membership. Includes weekly Live coaching. Let's figure out your best partner plan to get traffic and find your students. Jump in now! RELATED EPISODES E123: Super Easy Way to Get Unique Content IdeasE129: 6 Move-The-Needle Steps for Your Online Course BusinessE115: 3 Tools to Help Course Creators with Writer's Block & TrackingE112: How I Doubled My List with Giveaways Bundles and Summits KEY TAKEAWAYS FOR ONLINE COURSE CREATORS Here are 7 steps to help you stand out (listen in to the full episode for more details) - Step 1 - Develop signature frameworks or methodologies.Step 2 - Specialize in emerging niches. Step 3 - Share your failures and lessons learned. Step 4 - Use ideas from other fields. Step 5 - Build a consistent content look, voice and style. Step 6 - Focus on outcomes and results you for your unique clients. Step 7 - Engage in discussions and conversations in your industry or with your potential students. COME VISIT JULIE! Get on the email list AND get the FREE Ultimate Course Creators Planner - https://coursecreatorshq.com/2025PlannerPodcast Get this free course - Is My Course Idea Any Good? here -https://www.coursecreatorshq.com/ideaGoodPods Let's talk about this episode on GoodPods – https://CourseCreatorsHQ.com/goodpods (mobile only, download the app first) Website https://www.CourseCreatorsHQ.comYouTube https://coursecreatorshq.com/YouTubePodcast Facebook https://www.facebook.com/CourseCreatorsHQInstagram https://www.instagram.com/CourseCreatorsHQTwitter https://www.Twitter.com/CourseHQThreadshttps://www.threads.net/@coursecreatorshq Disclaimers https://coursecreatorshq.com/disclaimers/

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The Pressure To Specialize: What Sports Moms Need To Hear Right Now

The Elite Competitor - A Podcast for Moms & Coaches

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 3, 2025 41:57 Transcription Available

Are you feeling the pressure to have your daughter specialize in one sport or position too early? You're not alone. In this powerful episode, I sit down with Carrie Dever Boaz – a D1 softball coach, sports parenting expert, and leader at Extra Inning Softball – to unpack the truth about early specialization and how to navigate it without sacrificing your child's love for the game.What You'll Learn:✅ The hidden risks of early specialization. Why pushing kids into one sport too soon can backfire.✅ When (and if!) specialization actually makes sense. Carrie's surprising take on the right age.✅ High school vs. travel ball. Why BOTH experiences matter more than you think.✅ How to handle pressure from coaches, without becoming "that parent".✅ The power of failure. Why letting your athlete struggle is the best thing you can do.✅ Real talk on burnout and how to know if it's time to push through or walk away.✅ Carrie's top parenting advice and what she wishes she knew sooner about raising athletes.

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Going Back to Dual Specialize in Ortho, with Dr. Eric Phan

Brews and Tiny Teeth, The Unfiltered Pediatric Dentistry Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later May 20, 2025 51:38

Dr. Eric Phan is a pediatric dentist who decided to take the leap and go back to ortho residency after four years of practice. He developed an interest in ortho during his associateship and decided to purse being one of the few dual-specialists in our profession.Dr. Phan talks about the application process, why he chose to go back to residency, differences in personalities between pediatric dentists and orthodontists, and why he thinks adding an ortho skill set increases his value and will afford him a longer and healthier career. He also shares some tips for those listeners who may consider going back to specialize in orthodontics.

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Have your kids been pressured to specialize in one sport? Pt 2

Jamie and Stoney

Play Episode Listen Later May 6, 2025 13:06

We continue our discussion about youth athletes playing one sport year-round vs. multiple sports

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Have your kids been pressured to specialize in one sport? Pt 1

Jamie and Stoney

Play Episode Listen Later May 6, 2025 17:25

Baseball Hall of Famer Tom Glavine told parents and young athletes to stay away from coaches who want you to play only one sport year-round

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Generating $800K+ Per Year with Door Knocking Multi-Million Dollar Areas with Shaham Ahmad

The Richard Robbins Show

Play Episode Listen Later May 6, 2025 55:56

▶️ Book a Coaching Discovery Call with Jaimie Robbins https://calendly.com/rri-coaching/coaching-information-call

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Career Longevity Is the New Retirement Plan (493)

Content Inc with Joe Pulizzi

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 28, 2025 5:13

The old model was simple: work 40 years, retire, live off savings. But in today's world, career longevity is the new retirement strategy. And that doesn't mean grinding away at a job into your 70s. It means owning things that let you work smarter, with freedom and purpose, for as long as you choose. If you're a content creator, this is actually great news. You already have the tools to build real leverage. Here's how: 1. Stop selling your time. Time-for-money income is a trap. Instead, own assets: a blog, podcast, email list, product, or community. These things can scale without more hours. 2. Build a personal media company. One platform. One audience. One mission. When you create consistent content and control the relationship (hint: email), you're building something durable. 3. Specialize until you're unforgettable. Be the best in a narrow category, not “pretty good” in a broad one. That makes you harder to ignore—and impossible to replace. 4. Think like an investor. Great investors look for compounding returns. Same for creators. Invest in skills, ideas, and platforms that grow over time. Don't just work—build. 5. Play the long game. This is a career that doesn't have to end. Think about systems, succession, and maybe even an exit someday. A true content business outlives its creator. And maybe most important… 6. Stay healthy. Career longevity only matters if your brain and body are still firing. Protect your energy. Sleep. Move. Create with purpose. ------- Like this episode? SUBSCRIBE on Apple, Spotify or Google. See all Content Inc episodes at the Content Inc. podcast home. Get my personal newsletter today and receive my free goal-setting guide today.

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The Speaker Lab With Grant Baldwin

The CLS Experience with Craig Siegel

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 7, 2025 53:33

On today's episode of The CLS Experience, we have a very exclusive treat. He's a world class keynote speaker AND the founder and CEO of The Speaker Lab, a training company for public speakers where he takes you from booked, to paid to speak, AND his insights will penetrate your soul. He's the best-selling author of 'The Successful Speaker' and the host of 'The Speaker Lab Podcast' – which provides tangible insider strategies on business tactics, speaking tips and more. With over 400,000 people captivated at more than 500 events nationwide, he's a veteran in the speaking world, and very few do it better. His dynamic blend of humor, stories, and practical insights leaves audiences both entertained and equipped with actionable steps for success. From inspiring students at Purdue University to earning standing ovations at national conferences and workshops, his impact is profound and abundant. He's just a juggernaut in all facets of life and a fantastic husband and father. Please welcome the transformative, charismatic, and handsome, dynamic and multifaceted Grant Baldwin. 8:13 - Specialize to Grow Your Business16:28 - Crafting an Engaging Presentation Strategy23:08 - Mastering Public Speaking Skills26:56 - Speaker Success Roadmap35:38 - Leveraging Speaking Opportunities for Business40:53 - Building Professional Relationships With Integrity45:50 - Mastering Speaking Tips for Growth52:38 - Embracing Wisdom and AuthenticityConnect with Grant Here: https://thespeakerlab.com/To join our community click here.➤ To connect with Grant Baldwin follow Grant on Instagram➤ Order a copy of my new book The Reinvention Formula today! ➤ Join our CLS texting community for free daily inspiration and business strategies to elevate your day, text (917) 634-3796To follow The CLS Experience and connect with Craig on Social Media:➤ INSTAGRAM➤ FACEBOOK➤ TIKTOK➤ YOUTUBE➤ WEBSITE➤ LINKEDIN➤ X

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Alliance Insights: Contractors RiskPRO Faculty

Resources Risk & Insurance Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 7, 2025 21:24

Ready to Specialize in Contractors? Take the next step in your professional journey and become a go-to resource for contractor clients. Register now for the Contractors RiskPRO course and earn your certification while gaining real-world tools you can use immediately: https://riskeducation.org/riskpro-contractor/ Focusing exclusively on risk management and insurance professional development, the Risk & Insurance Education Alliance provides a practical advantage at every career stage, positioning our participants and their clients for confidence and success.

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Van Council- 40 Things I've Learned and Experienced in 40 years of owning a salon

Your Day Off @Hairdustry; A Podcast about the Hair Industry!

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 17, 2025 59:43

40 Lessons from 40 Years Behind the Chair ✂️✨What if you could skip decades of trial and error and learn 40 game-changing lessons from one of the industry's most successful salon owners?

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BOARD MEETINGS | Principle vs. Prescription in Climbing Training

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 21, 2025 40:39

Prompted by the phrase "Common sense isn't always common practice," from Trevor Ragan of Learner Lab, Nate and Kris sat down to discuss five aspects of climbing where they see this holding true. This is the final of those five aspects: principle vs. prescription in climbing training. This episode originally aired on March 23, 2018. _________________________

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BOARD MEETINGS | Should Climbers Train Where They Are or Where They Want To Be?

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 13, 2025 29:45

Prompted by the phrase "Common sense isn't always common practice," from Trevor Ragan of Learner Lab, Nate and Kris sat down to discuss five aspects of climbing where they see this holding true. This is the fourth of those five aspects: Training where you are currently instead of where you want to be. Starting where you are is an important first step that is often missed. This episode originally aired on March 22, 2018. _________________________

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BOARD MEETINGS | Should Climbers Generalize or Specialize?