The Pat Tomasulo Podcast

Things take a turn for the worse for Pat the hypochondriac as monkey pox enters the mainstream. Plus, he recaps a weekend in Wisconsin, including the most bath*t insane story from the news there, explains why you should never outwardly show your support for a Presidential candidate, and shares some news on the future of the podcast.

Pat is a little self conscious about how some shirts are fitting, and his wife does nothing to help ease his fears. Plus, he tries to work through a landscaping dilemma with Producer James, describes how he gets in his car every morning to avoid a carjacking, and discusses what his life has been like without Twitter.

Pat is completely blown away by how many politicians and rock stars are visiting Kyiv during the middle of a war. Plus, he is very angry over the finale of “Ozark,” proposes fines for old guys who insist on having children, and ponders if OnlyFans makes up for how terrible women are treated in our society.

Pat discusses a heckler telling him he has a fat ass, and Producer James does nothing to boost his confidence. Plus, he has strong feelings about politicians having fun (they shouldn't), weighs in on corporations taking political stands (they also shouldn't), and strives to live more like Joe Exotic. Ya know, minus the conspiracy to commit murder thing.

Pat recaps a wild weekend of shows, including one where he performed with a crucified Jesus hanging directly over him. Plus, he cannot believe how many colleges kids apply to now, discusses the oldest person in the world dying, which leads to another wacky theory from Producer James, and they honor the most dedicated climate activist the world has ever seen.

Pat goes on a rant about how stupid trying to go to Mars is. Plus, he tries to understand why some people get so worked up about using different pronouns, is dumbfounded that we still use the electric chair in this country, and explains why he may need to trade in his dog for a new one (spoiler alert, he's not going to). 

Pat examines the Elon Musk-Twitter situation, and cannot fathom a Twitter with more freedom of speech. Plus, he shares the story of the first time he got a full body massage, imagines what the Bezos-Kardashian-Davidson double date was like, and in light of a Hollywood divorce, wonders what single life would look like if Amy ever got sick of him.

Pat is playing injured this week, and details how exactly men his age get hurt. Plus, with Louis CK winning a Grammy Pat has a recommendation for a special from a guy who's NOT wanked off in front of anyone. He also has thoughts about all these “Don't Say Gay” bills, and voices his support for old people not being able to retire until 65.

Pat breaks down what he thinks Chris Rock's biggest regret was at the Oscars. Plus he shares his thoughts on our President accidentally calling for a regime change in Russia, discusses the Mayor of Chicago's plan to put the Columbus statue back, and shares how intense his fear of flying has become

Between a potential Mayoral candidate giving away gas, to another alderman going to jail, Pat is never not astounded by the Chicago political scene. Plus he has thoughts about Trump discussing foreign policy with Kid Rock, this newfound national obsession with trans kids and sports, and a potential nuclear holocaust. Enjoy!

Pat breaks down crazy billionaire Elon Musk challenging crazy dictator Vladimir Putin to a fight for Ukraine. Plus he has some thoughts on the wife of a Supreme Court Justice attending the Jan. 6 protest/riot, examines one Chicago politician's solution for curbing violence with karate, and tries to predict how long he will live in the ass-backwards state known as Illinois.

A couple of events make Pat get down on his knees and thank God he lives in America- namely him being able to go to Indiana and blow something up without the government's permission. Plus, he discusses why Conservatives and Liberals need other, how insane everyone in Chicago goes when the temperature hits 50, and why we make our friends punish their bodies in order for us to donate a cause they care about.

Pat discusses how awful Putin is when other awful people think he's too awful. Plus, he talks about his experience creating a living will (did not enjoy it), is dumbfounded by how the greatest country in the world still decides Presidents with straw polls and caucuses, and learns a new secret about Producer James.

Trump's new social media app crashes and Pat is shocked, SHOCKED that an app created by a 75-year old man would have issues. Plus he scolds Producer James for nearly getting electrocuted, has serious questions about how chicken farmers are killing entire flocks infected with bird flu, and explains why he's terrified to fly right now.

The Canadian trucker protest is over and Pat is dumbfounded over how it lasted so long. Plus he recaps his Super Bowl weekend and shares his concern for The Rock, has questions about how Beto O'Rourke pays his mortgage, and wonders if he has a future in selling NFT's.

Pat discusses the unhinged lunatics going nuts at school board meetings over pieces of cloth. Plus, he coaches guys on how to talk about the Joe Rogan controversy and not get themselves in trouble, gives his thoughts on a politician who just got outed as a swinger, and recaps another corporate gig from hell.

Pat discusses the Spotify-Joe Rogan controversy, and thanks Baby Jesus that Harry and Megan got involved. Plus, he shares his thoughts on over-Patriotic bumper stickers, why he'd never want to live in a post-apocalyptic world, and how insane the concepts of zoos is.

It's our 50th episode! Pat and James look back on the podcast's humble beginnings, plus Pat details how fantastic a neighbor he is, wonders if he should be like Adele when he cancels shows, and has some thoughts about people who post their Wordle scores.

Pat and Producer James discuss how the world is moving towards virtual reality, and wonder how they can profit from it. Plus, Pat returns to the stage, his hatred of winter reaches a boiling point, and he explains what makes him different from most sports fans.

So much animal talk this week. Pat shares his thoughts on the The Pope calling pet owners selfish, and reacts to a breakthrough discovery in dolphins sexuality. Plus, he weighs in on whether or not Kanye West is a “genius,” and is overwhelmed by a gift from Producer James.    

Pat reminisces about the first time he found out he was a fat kid, and how it's mentally damaged him as a fully formed grown man. Plus, he reveals why he's rooting harder for a comet to destroy Earth, explains how he wants to be disposed of when he dies, and has some thoughts about the Catholic Church crying poor.

It's the last podcast of 2021! Pat draws the ire of a new neighbor by playing with his dog on school property, causing her to launch a Facebook assault on him. Plus, he gives his thoughts on a sobering op-ed warning of a Civil War, wonders what Trump's big announcement will be, and takes a stand against standing ovations. Merry Christmas!

Pat breaks down the wars he's waging against a newspaper reporter and the Cameo app. Plus, he shares the insane request someone had for him the night he recorded his special, discusses his hatred of slow walkers, and recaps the time he told the truth about Santa on live TV.

Pat had a baby stay at his house for a weekend and it changed his stance on having kids . . . for 2.5 hours. Plus, he rants about people who wear pajama pants in public, discusses America's love/hate relationship with guns, and thinks Jussie Smollet has the most supportive/insane family in America.

A recent trip to the Verizon Store has Pat evaluating whether he should undergo anger management counseling. Plus, he looks back fondly on a time when we didn't care all that much what kids thought, finds common ground for Democrats and Republicans on immigration, and rails on people who make obit posts on social media for likes.

Pat drops the podcast early this week so you have something to enjoy before spending a long weekend with uncles and cousins you can't stand. Plus, he wonders if he should still be tipping for takeout, questions how effective Joe Biden was as President while prepping for a colonoscopy, and shares his fantasy for what he hopes people from another planet will be like.

Pat is a little skeptical about celebs like Gwyneth Paltrow who start billion dollar companies. Plus, he discusses how mental health treatment in schools has changed drastically since he was a kid, remembers the time he involuntarily got peed on at a U2 concert, and has had enough of the socially conscious company he buys his socks from.

Pat responds to Producer James telling him he thinks the Matrix is REAL. Plus, he has an idea for if Trump and Biden face off in the next election, breaks down a fundamental difference between men and women in a marriage, and recaps the hell week he had between podcasts.

Pat proposes an idea for getting kids to act appropriately. Plus, he shares a new development in his battle with the city of Chicago over garbage cans, gives his thoughts about the Republican-led crackdown on porn, and wonders who is reading a new soon-to-be best-seller.

Pat suffers his worst bomb on stage in 10 years, and recaps every painful detail. Plus, he shares his concerns about people being able to rent Teslas, explains why he blocked his own mother on Instagram, and has a few issues with Peloton instructors.

Pat floats an idea wherein everyone in the world comes to him for common sense advice. Plus, he shares his thoughts on the football coach who gave up $3M a year cause he didn't want a vaccine, the controversy surrounding the Dave Chappelle special, and why good samaritans are sometimes a bad thing.

Pat is back in town after a trip to his home state of NJ and has a recap. Plus, he shares his feelings about using gender neutral bathrooms, people who go overboard with Halloween decorations, bisexual Superman, and his fantasy about confronting hecklers.

The City of Chicago lands on a number of “Best Of” lists and Pat wonders if the voters have actually spent any time there lately. Plus, he shares his thoughts on pro athletes who are anti-vax, the pros and cons of having a dog, and the latest TikTok challenge that proves children are worse than wild animals.

Pat faces dilemma regarding the landscapers working at his house. Plus, he gives his thoughts on Dog the Bounty Hunter trying to assist the FBI, America's obsession with true crime, and how he would react if his wife left him for Machine Gun Kelly.

Pat has some very strong feelings about many of your children. Plus he gives his thoughts on the hottest new reality show, weighs in on the Covid debate between Dr. Fauci and Nicki Minaj, and questions when he lost the ability to have fun.

Pat misses the days when he could feel slightly under the weather and not think he was dying from Covid. Plus, he gives an update on his garbage cans saga, discusses Chicago's new strategy in the war in crime, and previews the hottest new reality show on TV.

Pat's trash situation has reached critical mass. Plus, Pat gets heat on Twitter over Bike The Drive, gives his thoughts on a new Botox ban for teens, and recognizes one of the newest & most vocal proponents of the fight against climate change: Kim Jong Un.

Pat take a few moments to tell everyone what a terrific person he is. Plus, he shares his argument for why movies are ALWAYS better than books, offers a solution for American cities who say they have no room for refugees, and stands up for landlords.

As Jeopardy searches for a new host, Pat has thoughts on the “journalist” who broke the story, and how this podcast will doom his career. Plus he shares his non-opinion on Afghanistan, rants about the milk crate challenge, and says we should let people take horse pills for COVID if they really want to.

Pat sets rules for how long a house guest can stay, and personally delivers those rules to Producer James' friend who stayed with him a week. Plus he is still puzzled over why people are always so mad at Amazon, and recounts his final weekend in the old neighborhood before he moves.

Pat has some thoughts about the new Disney Star Wars hotel, and recaps his visit to the park from a year ago. Plus, he rants about Lionel Messi being a blubbering mess at his press conference, fake vaccine cards, and a controversial errand his wife asked him to run.

Pat shares a story about arming himself while trying to sell furniture on Craigslist. Plus, he believes there are too many Olympic events & has ideas for how to streamline them, discusses the fallout from his controversial pro-mask stance, and reacts to the woke mob trying to cancel another comedian.

Pat wonders why the city of Dubai CREATING rain is not bigger news. Plus, he shares the story of that one time he protested, laments having so little time to watch TV, and proposes a solution to Chicago's fight over the Christopher Columbus statue.

Pat dissects Ben and Jerry's role in the conflict in the Mideast. Plus he shares what it will take for him to venture into space, gives the new “Space Jam” an A+ rating without seeing it, and gets overly annoyed by someone ranking Portland “Best Pizza City in America."

Pat breaks down the pros and cons of the controversial medical treatment the country seems to be divided over. Plus, he wonders why there are so many construction zones and no construction men, shares a warning for anyone getting on carnival rides, and shoots the breeze on a really light-hearted topic - Critical Race Theory.

Pat recaps his 4th of July weekend with his wife's extremely manly family members. Plus, he celebrates Producer James crashing his drone, examines Bill Cosby's hard right political turn, and proposes a ban on ALL fireworks.

Pat once again explains when the appropriate window is for lighting 4th of July fireworks. Plus, he gives his thoughts about people doing concerts on their front porch, people who order mayo-based sandwiches at Subway, and explains why Russians won't get a Covid vaccine.

Pat looks back on 20 whole episodes of the podcast with the person who's (almost) listened to all 20 - his wife. Plus, Pat is astounded by Nick Cannon's virility, gives his thoughts on a celeb-funded film school in LA, and wonders why people care where Covid came from.

Pat discusses this alarming new trend of people going nuts on planes, and wonders how he would react. Plus, he rips Producer James for lifting weight like a high school football player, wonders if the people on LinkedIn even have real jobs, and reveals a secret about himself - he cries, a lot.

Pat has come to the conclusion that he is the only person who should have money. Plus, he breaks down why people are the worst thing to happen to dog parks, makes a plea for Jeff Bezos to not go into space, and is very offended by a new weight loss pill about to hit the market.

Pat has some thoughts about nobody wanting to work in restaurants anymore. Plus, he proposes a punishment for Ellie Kemper winning a beauty contest at 19, advocates for pro athletes being allowed to punch fans, and explains how thankful he is to live in a city with excessive property taxes.