There are No Rules

I am *finally* getting around to posting this informative and wide-ranging conversation with Kelsey Weight, originally recorded as part of the Heartfelt ‘anti-challenge’ back at the start of 2022. Kelsey is an ‘anti-diet’ dietitian whose presence on social media is such a welcome contrast to so much wellness culture BS. I have so much respect for her working within this profession with all its associations with normative ideas of wellbeing, working to shift the narrative and approach away from weight management and external measures of health. Kelsey (and many other anti-diet, ‘Health at Every Size’ practitioners) use many tools, one being ‘Intuitive Eating’, which she takes us through step by step in this pod. Intuitive Eating is an approach to understanding food, nutrition, satiety, pleasure, hunger and so much more, without getting drawn into unnecessary emotion, guilt, fear or judgement about food and our bodies. What I love about Intuitive Eating is that it provides a basic structure and framework to support and facilitate improved self-trust, but it is not prescriptive; it takes the focus off the external and puts it back on the internal allowing us full permission to decide what and how we eat, being true only to ourselves.We also talk about exactly what ‘diet culture’ is. As the ‘water we swim in’, we may not even realise how much it influences us. Cue getting fired up about feminism, capitalism, consumerism and individualism!If you are interested in learning more, my favourite resource for Intuitive Eating is a book by Dr Laura Thomas called 'Just Eat It', but the original formulation is also available in the book 'Intuitive Eating' by Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch. In terms of books and resources that have been extremely helpful for me regarding anxiety and body image, I would recommend:- Embrace Yourself (2018), Tarryn Brumfitt- The Body is not an Apology (2018), Sonya Renee Taylor- Perfect me: Beauty as an Ethical Idea (2018), Heather Widdows- First, we make the beast beautiful (2017) , Sarah Wilson- Don't Salt My Game (a pod by Dr Laura Thomas)...and many of the blog posts by @thereallife_rd This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit heartfeltmoves.substack.com

There are so many demands on us in day to day life, and so much of the flavour of our patriarchal capitalist “cultural soup” is about striving, that to accept oneself exactly as we are is profoundly counter cultural. It's these ideas and more, about the practicalities of self-kindness, the realities of life without it (particularly with young humans to care for) that I so enjoyed discussing with Erica Webb of SelfKind in today's bonus Q&A interview.I was inspired to call my podcast 'There Are No Rules' because of the creeping realisation I was never going to 'Get It Right' by looking outside of myself. It's a topic I've been interested in since the 2010 TEDxWomen event I created, themed 'Self-Determination', and my conversation with Erica continues to explore ideas.How do we balance the reality of external data and information being relevant, with the need to give more credit to what we know, or intuit, is right for us? What if we have NFI what is 'right' for us?You can find more about Erica: https://www.ericawebbyoga.com.au/https://www.instagram.com/ericawebbyoga/ This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit heartfeltmoves.substack.com

In this episode of the pod I’m sharing the audio of a video Q&A I recorded with Dr Emily Amos as part of the Take Up Space anti-challenge I offered Heartfelt members a few weeks back. Emily is a GP, board certified lactation consultant, meditation and yoga teacher and mum. She shares insights she has gained from her own unique experience burning out despite doing all the things we are ‘told to do’ such as meditating and practicing yoga. She now helps support mums, doctors and anyone who wants to learn to meditate or practice more mindfulness in their day-to-day life. In this episode I ask Emily questions like:-What’s the difference between meditation and mindfulness?-Why is is so hard to do when we know it’s good for us?-How do we stop self-sabotage?-How do we keep the stakes low?-How can mindfulness integrate into the daily chaos and demands of early motherhood?-What do you wish you could go back and say to your ‘burning out’ self?-What keeps you ‘on track’ and caring for yourself these days?It was such a privilege to speak with Emily and learn from all her experience and expertise. You can connect with her and learn more about her offerings at: Her websiteOn Instagram @dremilyamosEmily also has her own podcast @mind.life.me and for her IBCLC offerings: @more.than.milk This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit heartfeltmoves.substack.com

In this pod episode I share a little 10 minute reflection or journalling practice you might like to do to support yourself to direct your energy and attention and effort towards what you truly value, and making conscious choices, and then owning those choices, rather than being pulled in a million external directions and then feeling icky, resentful and exhausted. As ever you are so welcome to come and try the first 7 days of membership to Heartfelt Moves to support you with these sorts of practices amongst a community of other mums who want to move and feel good and accept themselves exactly as they are. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit heartfeltmoves.substack.com

In today’s episode I expand on the idea that we are already completely ‘enough’ exactly as we are, and if we can practice coming to believe that, it means from that starting point we are free to choose the meaning we want to make in our life; what we want to value, pursue, move towards. The choices we want to make rather than that we might feel are coming at us as an external pressure.I talk about how we can use awareness of our external body in space (proprioception) and our internal experience and sensations in our body (interoception) to become more attuned to exactly what is going on for us: physically, emotionally, mentally - and from there, we are more able to meet our own needs.The episode includes fun stuff like:Is “acceptance” passive? Or is that a fairly immature notion?How you can reframe common idea that there is something ‘wrong’ with your parenting/partner/child/bodyHow the stories we tell ourselves can get us stuck in over-revved nervous system responsesHow to use the breath to calm the f*ck downIf you want to come and try the first 7 days of access to the Heartfelt Membership, you can do that here. I would so love to have you.If you want to sign up to the newsletter so you get fortnightly updates to your inbox, you can do that here. If you like this episode and shared it with a friend I would be very grateful! If you have thoughts, comments or questions you can send me an email at emily@heartfeltmoves.com or find me on Instagram @heartfeltmoves This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit heartfeltmoves.substack.com

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit heartfeltmoves.substack.com

In the final episode of Season 1, I interview a well respected, absolute powerhouse of a woman, Jennifer Crescenzo, who is originally from the United States, now living in Melbourne and who has been teaching yoga for around 15 years.Our conversation, as ever on this podcast, is fairly wide ranging - the broad themes include Jennifer’s experiences being conscious of tricky, unanswered questions, sitting in complexity and also trying to live her values – whether that be in or out of the specific context of yoga.

In this episode I speak with Associate Justice Mary-Jane Ierodiaconou of the Supreme Court of Victoria, a friend and mentor for more than a decade. Mary-Jane speaks with me about how she has, over her life, approached issues of gender inequality in professional contexts. Using her extremely sensible, rational and logical approach, grounded in her legal training and expertise, she speaks about topics such as workplace inequality in the private sector in the 1990s and the ongoing issue of the gender pay gap in Australia. She finishes by sharing how she sustains a rich inner life whilst working to foster structural and cultural change.Resources referred to in this episode include:John P. Kotter ‘Leading Change’Women’s Gender Equality AgencyMaria Popova’s book ‘Figuring’Mary Oliver’s poetry collection ‘Blue Horses’‘No, the gender pay gap is not a myth, and here’s why it matters’, and ‘Australia’s top 10 jobs with the biggest gender pay gap revealed’, by Jessica Irvine for Fairfax publications

In today's episode I speak with Annette and Zoe, two new but sure to be lifelong friends from my mothers group. Annette is a producer in the arts and mother to Freddie, and Zoe is a criminal barrister, comedian and mother to Reina. Both are legends. We speak about how our expectations of motherhood contrast with its realities in unexpected ways, how we conceive of ourselves during this period of profound life change, navigating career and ambition in motherhood, our evolving feminism and our hopes when raising boys.The book I read from in the introduction is Rachel Cusk's 'A Life's Work'.

In this episode I chat with Lauren about her experiences being told to be less direct and assertive in her professional life; where gender expectations intersect with ethnicity and culture; discovering boxing and finding empowerment and strength both internally and in her physical body; and the complexities and challenges of women participating more in a traditionally 'male' sport.

My guest in this episode is Jacqueline, a secondary school teacher at an all boys school. We speak about her experiences with gender stereotypes in her workplace and home life, her hopes for shifting the culture for boys, her experiences with perfectionism and her work to prioritise living a life on her own terms, rather than people pleasing.

Angela and I talk about the impact of porn on stereotypical female attractiveness and female heterosexual experiences of sex; the importance of talking with women but also men about what we want; and what is and isn't a feminist act. The book I mention is Jessa Crispin's 'Why I'm Not A Feminist': A Feminism Manifestohttps://www.blackincbooks.com.au/books/why-i-am-not-feminist

I share my reflections on social and cultural pressure for women to shrink their bodies, including the rules I am personally trying to break to live a life on my own terms rather than motivated by trying to please others. I draw out the themes from my recent reading of ‘Work like a Woman’ by Mary Portas, ‘The Mother of All Jobs’ by Christine Armstrong, and ‘How to Fail’ by Elizabeth Day. I also read a piece called ‘The Rules for Being a Woman’ by writer Erin O’Loughlin. Please be in touch with any feedback at therearenorulespodcast@gmail.com

In this episode I chat with Emma about drive, ambition, burnout, being creative and freelancing. Emma is open about her mental health challenges. After the interview, I reflect on my own experiences of trying to bring my 'whole self' to work as well as how we can combat burnout by being more self aware but also choosing working environments wisely where possible.The book I mention is 'Work like a Woman' by Mary Portas https://www.penguin.com.au/books/work-like-a-woman-9781784163624

Welcome to the first episode of 'There are No Rules', a podcast about how individual women navigate the internal and external pressures or ‘rules’ we inherit being brought up female in the culture and time we live, and make their own way. In this episode I introduce myself and explain the title of the show, as well as 3 ways I am currently trying to 'break the rules'.