Two Star Podcast

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It's four blokes talking about stuff. Look, we're not hurting anyone, just leave us be.

Graham, Adam, Dan & Chris


    • May 30, 2025 LATEST EPISODE
    • every other week NEW EPISODES
    • 1h 2m AVG DURATION
    • 321 EPISODES


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    Latest episodes from Two Star Podcast

    Episode 318 – Casting the Discworld

    Play Episode Listen Later May 30, 2025


    In which our heroes spend over an hour casting the Discworld, despite nobody asking them to. This is incredibly geeky, niche and boring even by our standards, so might be best to give it a miss. Oh, also Dan's going to Japan but didn't think to tell anyone.

    Episode 317 – Freedom of Painting

    Play Episode Listen Later May 16, 2025


    In which our heroes discuss The White Lotus and its various breasts and testicles. Daniel goes to a weird dating event, Chris finds some more hate stones, Graham is underwhelmed and Adam fact checks.

    Episode 316 – Ripe Seafood

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 22, 2025 76:34


    In which our heroes talk about meal deals. Graham has some ripe prawns, Chris finds some more hate pebbles, Adam goes to Greggs and Dan contributes in other ways.

    Episode 315 – Theoretical Paper Sizes

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 4, 2025


    In which our heroes explore the deep maths of theoretical paper sizes and think about which historical figures they'd like to hallucinate. Chris has a new job, Graham has a new job and Dan's reflection comes out of the mirror to kill him. Adam is dead. Note: I forgot to insert a comedy burp sound … Continue reading Episode 315 – Theoretical Paper Sizes →

    Episode 313 – The Christopher from Dorset Memorial Episode

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 1, 2025 85:08


    In which our heroes mourn the death of their friend Chris. Chris recounts the steps leading up to his death, Graham tries to remember hairy people and Adam has a new job which is making him do work.

    Episode 310 – The New Adventures of Geezus

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 17, 2025 57:59


    In which our heroes consider how much money Fergie made from Budgie the Little Helicopter. Graham has some problematic Biblical content, Adam finishes a job and Daniel threatens to murder CEOs of healthcare companies.

    Episode 307 – The Couch to 5k of Flares up Your Bum

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 14, 2025 66:40


    In which our heroes discuss plans to murder our listeners. Chris applies for a fancy job, Adam applies for an unspecified job, Graham applies for an unethical job and Dan is an emotional support dog.

    Episode 305 – Fancy Fruitcake

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 5, 2025 70:06


    In which our heroes lament. Incredibly, this low-mood, despair-fest was recorded *before* the US election in November. Imagine what *that's* done to our menty h!?!?! Anyway, spring's just about here so everything's going to be fine now?

    Episode 311 – The Actual Famous Predictions Post

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 31, 2025 98:35


    In which our heroes review their prognostications from 2024 and look forward to the glorious possibilities offered by 2025

    Episode 312 – The One Dan Thought Was The Famous Predictions Episode But Isn’t

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 29, 2025 75:37


    In which our heroes discuss the horrors involved in working for a living, discuss how to revamp the world to make a wall between Italy and Turkey possible, Chris develops a monster based business and re-imagineers frying.  Dan is mocked for having a disability.

    Episode 304 – The Duality of Pod

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 30, 2024 62:44


    In which our heroes discuss the horrors of having to actually physically attend a place of employment, laugh at the Tories and contemplate the downfall of Twitter and it's clownish owner.  This one is an Adam and Dan double act.  The TSPC Supervisory Committee has noted their dismay at this arrangement but declined to act.

    Episode 302 – Honestly Who Knows

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 25, 2024 58:01


    Look I edited this weeks ago and got distracted before I managed to upload it.  I then got really self conscious about it and that stopped me finishing the job. I have no idea what's in here, if it's any good or if you should listen.  It'll be a fun little adventure for all of … Continue reading Episode 302 – Honestly Who Knows →

    Episode 303 – Big Lads League

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 8, 2024 82:29


    In which our heroes launch the FA Carling Big Lads League. Dan is a DEI hire, Adam is prescribed eye ointment and Chris has bought a Ninja CREAMi Ice Cream & Frozen Dessert Maker which he reviews for us. This episode is brought to you by Ninja CREAMi, so much more than ice cream.

    Episode 301 – Play Your Berries Right

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 29, 2024 54:47


    In which our heroes hide in some wooden horses to invade cities. Graham wields a scythe, Adam spies on his neighbours' ponds and Daniel jizzes out a stream of tiny owls.

    Episode 300 – Our Digital Decade

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 14, 2024 67:01


    In which our heroes have been doing this podcast for TEN YEARS. Thanks for the listens, this episode contains a special song that summarises all the absolute nonsense and topics we've covered in a decade of sub-par #content. TEN. MORE. YEARS!

    Episodes 296-299 – Special Election Triple Episode

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 10, 2024 59:31


    In which our heroes record an extra special, triple episode for reasons that shall remain opaque. It is our election special, in which we look forward to the election which has now happened. What a wonderful feeling it is not to be looking back at misplaced hope, knowing that our younger selves would now be … Continue reading Episodes 296-299 – Special Election Triple Episode →

    Episode 295 – AFC His Majesty’s Official Opposition

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 2, 2024 49:39


    In which our heroes pick their cabinet & shadow cabinet starting XIs. Dan goes to Germany to watch the futbol, Adam skives off work to watch the futbol and Graham doesn't really care about the futbol.

    Episode 294 – Dan: Yes or No?

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 17, 2024 48:26


    In which our heroes discuss the ongoing election campaign, but a few weeks ago before Sunak tanked his support even lower than it was to begin with. Dan has hiccups, Adam shorts Dan and Graham romanticises community service.

    Episode 293 – Killr

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 14, 2024 55:41


    In which our heroes found an assassination tech startup. Graham looks at islands on Google Maps, Dan applies for jobs in Guam and Adam guesses what language Timotei is from.

    Episode 292 – Full Self Driving

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 13, 2024 47:34


    In which our heroes play a game based on nepo babies. Graham buys a hoover, Dan applies for a job crash testing cars and Adam confirms Graham is not a racist.

    Episode 291 – Crimes Against Man And God

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 13, 2024 63:57


    In which our heroes are irrelevant. Adam stops being a dickhead, Daniel once again refuses to start on OnlyFans and Graham doesn't really contribute anything of value but hey, they can't all be classic episodes.

    Episode 290 – Two Star Arena

    Play Episode Listen Later May 24, 2024


    In which our heroes power F1 cars with Dragon Soop. Graham noisily wraps birthday presents, Adam reveals a SHOCKING TRUTH about Andy Street and Daniel votes for Count Binface.

    Episode 289 – Dan’s Turbo Milk

    Play Episode Listen Later May 17, 2024 41:14


    In which our heroes try to find Dan a new career. It turns into a discussion about which MPs he could beat up which should come to the surprise of absolutely nobody.

    Episode 288 – Where’s Kate?

    Play Episode Listen Later May 16, 2024 55:38


    In which our heroes put forward their theories as to the whereabouts of HRH The Queen Of Our Hearts Princess Katherine Of Wales. Please note that this was recorded at the height of Kategate, when HRH The Queen Of Our Hearts Princess Katherine Of Wales was missing and everything was light-hearted and funny before they … Continue reading Episode 288 – Where's Kate? →

    Episode 287 – Chutney Parcel

    Play Episode Listen Later May 7, 2024 60:16


    In which our heroes celebrate the Morphy Richards Mico Microwave Toastie Sandwich Maker and Grill. A smaller and easier method of creating the perfect toastie, the Mico Microwave Toastie Maker is an ideal accessory to enhance your kitchen experience. With the Mico Microwave Toastie Maker, you can easily create delicious toasties right in your own … Continue reading Episode 287 – Chutney Parcel →

    Episode 286 – Hero Dan

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 27, 2024 61:55


    In which our heroes talk about an incredible toastie maker. Graham has his boiler condemned because of woke, Chris comes back from Cyprus, Adam has an uneventful week and Daniel actually saves an actual man's actual life.

    Episode 284 – The Lincoln Paradox

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 26, 2024 55:31


    In which our heroes discuss the best places to sleep. Graham talks about phonetic alphabets, Adam pulls his floorboards up to check for bodies and Dan has a Kermodian rant about sleeping bags.

    Episode 283 – Piss Chat

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 27, 2024 52:20


    In which our heroes discuss who are tea nations. Graham heats up his knives, Chris suffers two distressing incidents in toilets and Adam has a piss colour chart.

    Episode 281 – Gonad The Barbarian

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 27, 2024 75:13


    In which our heroes rank supermarkets. Adam disposes of a mouse's corpse, Chris sets fire to an old man in the gym, Graham pisses everywhere and Daniel isn't really listening.

    Episode 280 – David Cameron: The Whole Hog

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 27, 2024 68:25


    In which our heroes talk about political podcasts. Chris eats plain yoghurt, Graham plans how to sacrifice himself in the event of a zombie apocalypse, Daniel double fists food from the canapé table into his face and Adam believes he knows how to build an escalator.

    Episode 279 – No Wanking And You Die In Your 30s

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 26, 2024 46:41


    In which our heroes frame Graham for murder. Daniel makes some banana bread like it's 2020, Graham remembers an obscure 80s film and Chris has all food ruined for him by some nerds. This one also just cuts off at the end, still don't know why.

    Episode 285 – Dungeons & Dragons & A Surprising Amount of Fucking

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 25, 2024 104:14


    In which our heroes are halved. Adam waffles for nearly two hours about Baldur's Gate 3 and Dan waffles for nearly two hours about Baldur's Gate 3. Suffice it to say if you haven't yet finished the game (and intend to), you probably don't want to listen to this until you have because we spoil … Continue reading Episode 285 – Dungeons & Dragons & A Surprising Amount of Fucking →

    Episode 278 – Free Vapes & a Bumbag

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 12, 2024 42:54


    In which our heroes celebrate Friendship Month. Adam has become marriaged, Daniel has bankrupted Birmingham council and Graham considers getting an indentured servant. For some reason it just ends abruptly, no idea why.

    Episode 277 – Project SpadStag

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 9, 2024 82:37


    In which our heroes talk about Adam's stag do. Graham makes an amazing spreadsheet, Chris buys a new car and Daniel becomes a Boomer. If you would like to view the spreadsheet with all the scores from the actual Stag in it, it's here: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/11-YFweSPBb1NG9JX06M6A_g6kNBK8rxbYSTbbsaGciM/edit?usp=sharing The points allocations per event are different because I applied … Continue reading Episode 277 – Project SpadStag →

    Episode 282 – Nul Point for Mr Mercer

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 30, 2023 108:37


    In which our heroes eventually get round to reviewing their 2023 predictions and make some new ones about 2024.  Not before discussing the socio-religious importance of circumcision and also  orgy logistics.

    Episode 276 – Bibby Stockholm Syndrome

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 15, 2023 60:19


    In which our heroes talk about loads of stuff. Adam has invasive bum surgery, Chris has a horrible new job, Graham has been speeding again and Daniel receives some disturbing mail.

    Episode 274 – Light Bum Duties

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 30, 2023 70:35


    In which our heroes talk about their physical health. Adam has an MOT, Chris buys some Marmite, Daniel has a Sliding Doors moment and Graham uncovers a huge conspiracy around Ploughman's lunches in Stratford-upon-Avon.

    Episode 273 – Jodcast Jepisode

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 28, 2023 43:08


    In which our heroes discuss wearing all-denim to a wedding. Adam rules out having an all-denim theme at his wedding, Graham plays Zelda and Dan laughs at Nadine Dorries.

    Episode 272 – Unwise But Not Illegal

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 15, 2023 80:33


    In which our heroes welcome back their disgraced colleague. Graham prepares to go on a stag do, Chris makes up a story about Richard Burton, Adam hosts a Branston pickle quiz and Dan remains delightfully bewildered by everything.

    Episode 271 – The Curse Of Sooty

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 2, 2023 59:37


    In which our heroes talk about children's television presenters & puppets. Dan kills a listener with his sword, Adam attempts to doxx Dan and Graham libels Philip Schofield again. (Note: this was recorded before Schofield confessed to everything, so actually it's not libel, it's all provably true.)

    Episode 270 – Aged 60 Days

    Play Episode Listen Later May 26, 2023 56:58


    In which our heroes libel Philip Schofield. Graham starts a new job, Adam becomes a soft porn model and Dan makes an exciting, late, drunk cameo.

    Episode 269 – LL Cool D

    Play Episode Listen Later May 19, 2023 62:24


    In which our heroes review the Coronation & the Miami GP opening ceremony and discuss God's management style. Graham starts a new job, Adam has a made up game and Dan is a great guy who everyone loves.

    Episode 268 – A Massive Whitey

    Play Episode Listen Later May 19, 2023 42:19


    In which our heroes tell a cautionary tale about drugs. Graham leaves his job, Dan trains as a consultant and Adam forgets his #content

    Episode 267 – Decline in Thinking Skills

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 4, 2023 72:51


    In which our heroes consider the merits of a London Monopoly pub crawl. Graham reveals a shocking truth about women, Dan posts a fish through his boss's letterbox and Chris is diagnosed with an accute brain condition.

    Episode 266 – Episode 21 Part 2

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 3, 2023 51:31


    In which our heroes have been left unattended again. They revisit the conversation topics from the last debacle, Dan stans Bill Cosby & R Kelly and Graham simps for Taylor Swift & Hanson.

    Episode 265 – Bum Health Special

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 14, 2023 61:39


    In which our heroes look bumward. Adam has a colonoscopy, Dan says colonoscopies are cool, Graham reads up on polyps and Chris visits a psych ward.

    Episode 264 – Mans Got Bare Skills

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 14, 2023 58:35


    In which our heroes update their wills. Chris and Dan eat 20 plants (each), Graham quits his job and Adam starts a new one.  

    Episode 263 – Francis Bacon’s Ghost Chicken

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 8, 2023 68:55


    In which our heroes talk about ghosts. Graham says Joris Bohnson smells like ham, Chris goes to the cinema and Adam dampens beds in hotels.

    Episode 262 – Dorse Gods

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 7, 2023 71:20


    In which our heroes confess to crimes. Graham has job interviews, Adam solves crimes in a retro-futuristic city, Dan joins a school choir and Chris sends Valentines cards to little boys

    Episode 261 – Procedurally Generated Obscenity

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 28, 2023 43:43


    In which our heroes take both sides on Phillip Schofield, fondly recall Chris' past as a predatory salesman, refuse Pascal's wager, speculate on Dan's potential as a white collar criminal, and then put various machine learning thingies on the internet through their horrific paces.

    Episode 260 – A Fllb Of Water

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 6, 2023 63:54


    In which our heroes just chat absolute nonsense for ages. Chris sells his bath water, Dan isn't a real person, Graham gives some solid legal advice and Adam re-mortgages his house.

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