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Click here for the DRB Daily Sign Up form! TODAY'S SCRIPTURE: 2 Kings 18-19; 2 Chronicles 3: James 5 Click HERE to give! Get Free App Here! One Year Bible Podcast: Join Hunter and Heather Barnes on 'The Daily Radio Bible' for a daily 20-minute spiritual journey. Engage with scripture readings, heartfelt devotionals, and collective prayers that draw you into the heart of God's love. Embark on this year-long voyage through the Bible, and let each day's passage uplift and inspire you. TODAY'S EPISODE: Welcome to the Daily Radio Bible, where we journey together through the pages of Scripture each day. In today's episode, host Hunter invites us into a powerful reflection on what truly makes God's people different in the midst of life's challenges. As we read from 2 Kings 18-19, 2 Chronicles 3, and James 5, we witness the story of King Hezekiah standing firm against the intimidating threats of King Sennacherib of Assyria. Despite overwhelming odds, Hezekiah's trust in God sets him apart, reminding us that it's God's presence—the true difference-maker—that empowers us to face our own Sennacheribs. Today's reading is rich with encouragement: we contemplate Hezekiah's courageous prayer, Solomon's dedication of the temple, and James's call to patience, prayer, and righteousness. Hunter and guest Heather also share a glimpse into their own journey, as they take time to recharge along the Oregon coast, encouraging us all to savor the gift of life and God's love in every season. Whether you're in need of strength, healing, or just a little inspiration for your day, this episode will remind you to draw near to the One who brings victory and transforms our lives. Let's walk together in God's joy and remember—we are loved. TODAY'S DEVOTION: The difference maker. The ominous question that Hezekiah hears from King Sennacherib is: why should you be any different? In other words, why should you expect any other outcome than the one everyone else gets? Sennacherib had a track record. If you are looking for evidence to prove your own impending doom, you'll have no trouble finding it. Your own Sennacherib will show up to tell you that you're no different, either. But King Sennacherib had a problem: King Hezekiah was different. In 2 Kings 18:5, we see that Hezekiah trusted in the Lord, the God of Israel. There was no one like him among all the kings of Judah, either before him or after his time. The difference was that God had anointed him. God's presence was with him. Instead of rolling over in defeat as some might, Hezekiah rolled with his anointing—he stepped into the presence of the Lord. 2 Kings 19:14 says, “After Hezekiah received the letter from the messenger and read it, he went up to the Lord's temple and spread it out before the Lord. And Hezekiah prayed.” He asked his God—the only God, the God of Israel—to listen, to bend down, to deliver. He asked God to show Sennacherib, and all of Israel, that God's people are not like everyone else, and that He is a God like no other. In verse 19, it says, “Now, O Lord our God, rescue us from his power. Then all the kingdoms of the earth will know that you alone, O Lord, are God." God did that very thing. He proved to Hezekiah, to King Sennacherib, and to all the kings of the earth that He alone is God. He answered the question that crashed in on Hezekiah's heart: what makes you think you are any different? The difference was God. Our God is the difference maker, and He's come to make a difference in your life. He's come to live and abide in us as we live in Him. That makes all the difference in the world. We are able to face those accusations of our own personal Sennacherib, and all those who come to terrify us. We can roll with our anointing and into the presence of God, drawing close to the one who is the difference maker, the one who gives us victory. So draw near to the One who makes the difference. Find your strength in Him. When you hear the words, "What makes you any different?" respond like Hezekiah and roll into the presence of the Lord. Place those accusations at His feet. Ask Him to show you what the difference is once again, so that you might stand up, stand strong, and see the victory that He alone can bring. That's the prayer I have for my own soul. That's the prayer I have for my family, for my wife, my daughters, my son. And that's the prayer that I have for you. May it be so. TODAY'S PRAYERS: Lord God Almighty and everlasting father you have brought us in safety to this new day preserve us with your Mighty power that we might not fall into sin or be overcome by adversity. And in all we do, direct us to the fulfilling of your purpose  through Jesus Christ Our Lord amen.   Oh God you have made of one blood all the peoples of the earth and sent your blessed son to preach peace to those who are far and those who are near. Grant that people everywhere may seek after you, and find you. Bring the nations into your fold, pour out your Spirit on all flesh, and hasten the coming of your kingdom through Jesus Christ our Lord, Amen.   And now Lord,  make me an instrument of your peace.  Where there is hatred let me sow love. Where there is injury, pardon.  Where there is doubt, faith. Where there is despair, hope.  Where there is darkness, light.  And where there is sadness,  Joy.  Oh Lord grant that I might not seek to be consoled as to console. To be understood as to understand, to be loved as to love.  For it is in the giving that we receive, in the pardoning that we are pardoned, it is in the dying that we are born unto eternal life.  Amen And now as our Lord has taught us we are bold to pray... Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name, thy kingdom come thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven, give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our tresspasses as we forgive those who trespass against us, and lead us not unto temptation, but deliver us from evil, for thine is the Kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen. Loving God, we give you thanks for restoring us in your image. And nourishing us with spiritual food, now send us forth as forgiven people, healed and renewed, that we may proclaim your love to the world, and continue in the risen life of Christ.  Amen.  OUR WEBSITE: www.dailyradiobible.com We are reading through the New Living Translation.   Leave us a voicemail HERE: https://www.speakpipe.com/dailyradiobible Subscribe to us at YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Dailyradiobible/featured OTHER PODCASTS: Listen with Apple Podcast DAILY BIBLE FOR KIDS DAILY PSALMS DAILY PROVERBS DAILY LECTIONARY DAILY CHRONOLOGICAL  

Click here for the DRB Daily Sign Up form! TODAY'S SCRIPTURE: 2 Chronicles 29-31; James 4 Click HERE to give! Get Free App Here! One Year Bible Podcast: Join Hunter and Heather Barnes on 'The Daily Radio Bible' for a daily 20-minute spiritual journey. Engage with scripture readings, heartfelt devotionals, and collective prayers that draw you into the heart of God's love. Embark on this year-long voyage through the Bible, and let each day's passage uplift and inspire you. TODAY'S EPISODE: TODAY'S DEVOTION: TODAY'S PRAYERS: Lord God Almighty and everlasting father you have brought us in safety to this new day preserve us with your Mighty power that we might not fall into sin or be overcome by adversity. And in all we do, direct us to the fulfilling of your purpose  through Jesus Christ Our Lord amen.   Oh God you have made of one blood all the peoples of the earth and sent your blessed son to preach peace to those who are far and those who are near. Grant that people everywhere may seek after you, and find you. Bring the nations into your fold, pour out your Spirit on all flesh, and hasten the coming of your kingdom through Jesus Christ our Lord, Amen.   And now Lord,  make me an instrument of your peace.  Where there is hatred let me sow love. Where there is injury, pardon.  Where there is doubt, faith. Where there is despair, hope.  Where there is darkness, light.  And where there is sadness,  Joy.  Oh Lord grant that I might not seek to be consoled as to console. To be understood as to understand, to be loved as to love.  For it is in the giving that we receive, in the pardoning that we are pardoned, it is in the dying that we are born unto eternal life.  Amen And now as our Lord has taught us we are bold to pray... Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name, thy kingdom come thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven, give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our tresspasses as we forgive those who trespass against us, and lead us not unto temptation, but deliver us from evil, for thine is the Kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen. Loving God, we give you thanks for restoring us in your image. And nourishing us with spiritual food, now send us forth as forgiven people, healed and renewed, that we may proclaim your love to the world, and continue in the risen life of Christ.  Amen.  OUR WEBSITE: www.dailyradiobible.com We are reading through the New Living Translation.   Leave us a voicemail HERE: https://www.speakpipe.com/dailyradiobible Subscribe to us at YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Dailyradiobible/featured OTHER PODCASTS: Listen with Apple Podcast DAILY BIBLE FOR KIDS DAILY PSALMS DAILY PROVERBS DAILY LECTIONARY DAILY CHRONOLOGICAL  

Join Emily Fletcher for Magic Maker, a live global activation happening July 22nd where you'll learn the 3 secrets to magnetize love, health, and abundance. Head to makemagic.zivameditation.com to save your spot. === This is a special bonus episode from the Align Podcast with Aaron Alexander, featuring Emily Fletcher as the guest. What if your pleasure could literally be your prayer? In this provocative bonus episode of Why Isn't Everyone Doing This?, Emily Fletcher joins Aaron Alexander on the Align Podcast to explore the ancient practice of sex magic and how to use pleasure as a pathway to manifestation. Emily reveals her revolutionary three-step formula: Visualize, Alchemy, Magnetize - a process that transforms desire into reality by working with your whole body, not just your mind. She explains how "sex magic" is simply using your pleasure to pray, and why the better you feel, the more magic you attract.

TODAY on the show we started things off with an update from Terry on his AI daughter. This led to a long discussion on AI in general. We got in our Days of the Week and received our Warm Hot Summery Word of the Day which led to a big fight. We also somehow got into an all out sound effects war. We got into some Sarah B Trending. Sarah told us about her amazing night with her new Rocket Man. We also did several rounds of NAME THAT TUNE hosted by Lex and Sarah!TOMORROW on the show we have HYPOTHETICALS! CLIP OF THE DAY: Sarah Saw Some Things & Lex Was The A-Hole During Name That Tune 100:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,860I received a dirty video for the weekend.200:00:02,860 --> 00:00:06,060One that a month ago I would have been very thrilled to have,300:00:06,060 --> 00:00:10,580but now that I actually like someone, I was just like, interesting.400:00:10,580 --> 00:00:12,320- Oh yeah? - I'm so watched.500:00:12,320 --> 00:00:13,620- Tell us a little more.600:00:13,620 --> 00:00:16,220- So, number one on my roster, the guy that D's,700:00:16,220 --> 00:00:19,860and he would do that with eight abs in the long hair.800:00:19,860 --> 00:00:21,860- "Gumbia" is what I call him.900:00:21,860 --> 00:00:23,400- It's actually "Gizamba."1000:00:23,400 --> 00:00:25,540- "Okizamba" is what I call him.1100:00:25,540 --> 00:00:27,740- So I do know what happens.1200:00:27,740 --> 00:00:31,080- So, sometime that new guy, I've barely been talking to this guy,1300:00:31,080 --> 00:00:33,960and it shows that he's almost like, "Oh God, I'm losing her."1400:00:33,960 --> 00:00:36,400Something because he is messaging me constantly now.1500:00:36,400 --> 00:00:37,240- "Ahh."1600:00:37,240 --> 00:00:39,040- "You" and all this sexy stuff in my face.1700:00:39,040 --> 00:00:40,040- He don't care the least.1800:00:40,040 --> 00:00:41,520- It is so true, damn.1900:00:41,520 --> 00:00:44,600I hate that, 'cause I'm so bad at it with the person I really like.2000:00:44,600 --> 00:00:46,760But, I still live in a situation.2100:00:46,760 --> 00:00:48,040I'm in his girlfriend broke up.2200:00:48,040 --> 00:00:50,440I think they're selling the house that they have together2300:00:50,440 --> 00:00:51,440and they just had a garage sale.2400:00:51,440 --> 00:00:53,480The whole situation is just messy.2500:00:53,480 --> 00:00:56,280But either way, he sent me a video this weekend,2600:00:56,280 --> 00:00:58,720and it looked like he set up a tripod in the bathroom,2700:00:58,720 --> 00:01:02,000and it was him with just a towel on the lower half,2800:01:02,000 --> 00:01:04,200and he was walking towards the tub,2900:01:04,200 --> 00:01:06,960and I was like, "Damn, that towel's lucky."3000:01:06,960 --> 00:01:09,800And then all of a sudden the towel was real.3100:01:09,800 --> 00:01:11,280(laughs)3200:01:11,280 --> 00:01:12,560It was just really hot.3300:01:12,560 --> 00:01:14,120- And you see the goodies?3400:01:14,120 --> 00:01:15,120- I saw things.3500:01:15,120 --> 00:01:15,960- Yeah.3600:01:15,960 --> 00:01:17,960- And I was like, "Damn."3700:01:17,960 --> 00:01:21,160- I can't believe people said something like that out of there.

Click here for the DRB Daily Sign Up form! TODAY'S SCRIPTURE: Isaiah 15-18; Hebrews 10 Click HERE to give! Get Free App Here! One Year Bible Podcast: Join Hunter and Heather Barnes on 'The Daily Radio Bible' for a daily 20-minute spiritual journey. Engage with scripture readings, heartfelt devotionals, and collective prayers that draw you into the heart of God's love. Embark on this year-long voyage through the Bible, and let each day's passage uplift and inspire you. TODAY'S EPISODE: Welcome to the Daily Radio Bible! On this episode for July 13th, 2025, Heather guides us through day 194 of our journey through the Scriptures. Together, listeners from around the world gather, not just to read words on a page, but to encounter Jesus—the source of our life—as revealed through today's readings: Isaiah chapters 15 through 18 and Hebrews chapter 10. Heather explores the prophetic messages of Isaiah, reflecting on God's justice, mercy, and the futility of relying on anything but Him. Then, in Hebrews, she unpacks the transformative power of Christ's sacrifice, emphasizing the freedom we have from guilt and shame because of what Jesus has done once and for all. Plus, Heather leads us in heartfelt prayers, encouraging us to walk this day in the liberty and joy of a conscience made clean by Christ. Whether you're new to the Bible or returning once again, you'll find hope, encouragement, and the reminder that you are deeply loved. So, settle in—let's open our hearts to God's Word together. TODAY'S DEVOTION: How is your conscience? Is it free? The author of Hebrews reminds us today that the old system—the law of Moses and its repeated sacrifices—could never provide perfect cleansing. All those offerings only served as reminders of guilt, not freedom from it. But Jesus came, saying, “Look, I have come to do your will, O God.” And by the sacrifice of his own body, once for all time, he made us holy—truly clean. The Christian life isn't meant to be a weekly ritual of regret, a constant offering of shame over our past mistakes. If going to church only stirs up a sense of guilt, we may have missed the heart of the gospel and just how good God has been to us in Christ. The blood of Jesus speaks a better word. It cleanses our conscience—not by our own efforts, not even by the depth of our repentance, but by the sufficiency of his sacrifice. God does not desire a cycle of shame and self-punishment. What he wants is for us to see that Jesus has already accomplished everything. Hebrews tells us, "Our guilty consciences have been sprinkled with Christ's blood to make us clean," and that gives us a new reality to stand upon. Repentance is how we respond to this grace, not a way to earn it. Paul writes elsewhere that he can “forget the past and press on” because Christ's blood has set him free. In the same way, we are called to live free—forgiven, cleansed, and empowered to run the race before us. Let's focus not on what lies behind, but on what God is calling us toward: a life shaped by love, joy, and the liberty Christ has won. So, are you tired of living under the weight of shame and regret? You don't have to carry that anymore. Christ's sacrifice is more than enough. Walk in the joy and freedom of a conscience fully cleansed. You are loved, you are new, and the way is open—boldly step into God's presence, motivated by love and hope, encouraging one another along the way. That's a prayer for my heart, for my family, and for you. May you know just how clean, free, and loved you are because of Jesus. May it be so. TODAY'S PRAYERS: Lord God Almighty and everlasting father you have brought us in safety to this new day preserve us with your Mighty power that we might not fall into sin or be overcome by adversity. And in all we do, direct us to the fulfilling of your purpose  through Jesus Christ Our Lord amen.   Oh God you have made of one blood all the peoples of the earth and sent your blessed son to preach peace to those who are far and those who are near. Grant that people everywhere may seek after you, and find you. Bring the nations into your fold, pour out your Spirit on all flesh, and hasten the coming of your kingdom through Jesus Christ our Lord, Amen.   And now Lord,  make me an instrument of your peace.  Where there is hatred let me sow love. Where there is injury, pardon.  Where there is doubt, faith. Where there is despair, hope.  Where there is darkness, light.  And where there is sadness,  Joy.  Oh Lord grant that I might not seek to be consoled as to console. To be understood as to understand, to be loved as to love.  For it is in the giving that we receive, in the pardoning that we are pardoned, it is in the dying that we are born unto eternal life.  Amen And now as our Lord has taught us we are bold to pray... Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name, thy kingdom come thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven, give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our tresspasses as we forgive those who trespass against us, and lead us not unto temptation, but deliver us from evil, for thine is the Kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen. Loving God, we give you thanks for restoring us in your image. And nourishing us with spiritual food, now send us forth as forgiven people, healed and renewed, that we may proclaim your love to the world, and continue in the risen life of Christ.  Amen.  OUR WEBSITE: www.dailyradiobible.com We are reading through the New Living Translation.   Leave us a voicemail HERE: https://www.speakpipe.com/dailyradiobible Subscribe to us at YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Dailyradiobible/featured OTHER PODCASTS: Listen with Apple Podcast DAILY BIBLE FOR KIDS DAILY PSALMS DAILY PROVERBS DAILY LECTIONARY DAILY CHRONOLOGICAL  

“The Golden Rule” I finally did it. I finally set my house on fire. You don't know. I've lived there two years; I just now did it. This amazes me that just how. Here's how it happened. So I'm in my kitchen, cooking. I just worked out for like, three hours so I'm cooking everything. Everything. I put the soup on, but by the end of the workout, I'm not sure the soup is going to be enough. So, I thought to myself, “You know what, I'm going to make some tortilla chips” A few days before I made the dopest salsa. I couldn't get enough of it. It was the best salsa ever. I was like “gosh” so every day, Tacos for three days, Just to put the salsa on top, And on the fourth day, I'm like “Nah, soup.” So, I put the soup on and I go workout, But the soup, you see has roasted vegetables in in, You know? So what I had done was, I had roasted the vegetables on a pan, but the pan is a little worn, so i put them on parchment paper… … Yeah, but here's what really happened, Is I took the vegetables off of the roasting pan, and I was about to throw away the parchment paper, And I thought “Wait. No! There's still so much oil on this!” And I didn't want to be wasteful. So I turned the oven back on, And I took out the tortillas I had— There were four of them— I took out two, Just in case I wanted two actual tacos later— Cause you know, I really love this fucking salsa. So good. Anyway— I take out two of the four tortillas, And I quarter them, And I flip them in the leftover oil from the roasted vegetables, And I'm thinking— This is going to be so good Roasted vegetable flavored Corn tortilla chips— I brush on a little bit of coconut oil, I drop some lemon juice on them, I put on a little salt— And I put them in the oven— I turn the oven to broil, And then I start the dishes; Dishes takes about ten minutes, This should take about ten minutes— So I start doing the dishes, And cleaning up, And putting them away, And this is the most ironic shit in the world, I start thinking to myself Particularly about this comedian that I like And I start thinking to myself “Wow, so you're a comedian; Comedian things happen to you; You're a real comedian. I must not be a real comedian— Because comedy things don't happen to me.” And right at that moment, I just so happen to look into the oven, And all I see is flames. Like, open flames. Big, flames. So I open the oven; More flames. I'm like “Oh no.” So now I'm panicking because I've never had an apartment with a gas stove before, So I don't know how quickly flames turn into massive explosions. And it's honestly funny how suicidal I am, Until I see open flames and I'm like “No, but— not like THIS!” So I freak out, I hit the breaker. I turn off everything in the place I'm not looking to see which switch is “gas” I turned turned them all off, Click, click, click, click Put on my slip ons, and grab my phone and I'm out the door. And I'm thinking to myself “See this is why you need a phone,” Because honestly sometimes, I don't feel like paying the bill. I feel like having toilet paper, Or soap, Or water— And I just “Whatever” But lately, I've been looking for more work because I like having toilet paper, and soap, and water AND a phone— so I keep the phone on, Which, even in the moment is like “Oh yeah, wow, I have a phone” Like I'm in astonishment at how handy it is because if it's handy for anything, This is it. So I'm out the door, and I'm dialing 911 as I hit the staircase; Whoosh, I'm out the door and in the long before the operator even picks up, And I'm in the lobby, on the phone, and the operator gets the address and I'm just standing there — Mind you, I didn't even grab my keys on the way out, so I'm assuming the door is locked, And I think to myself about the size of the flames and the fact that they were coming from the oven which is connected to a gas line which is connected to the rest of the building, so I don't know how any of that stuff works, And then I start thinking. “Should I warn my neighbors?” I hate my neighbors. Or rather, My neighbors hate me. But I'm thinking of the flames and the smoke and the danger and how, if it was me, I'd want to know if the apartment next door to mine was on fire and possibly about to explode. You know; the golden rule. So I'm like “fuck it” I don't get along with these people but I don't mean to blow them up. So I run back upstairs, And I knock on their doors; Not everyone's doors, just the two doors in what I assume would be the blast area. I knock on their doors, And only one of them answers— The one that answers is, of course, The one that's been stalking me. So this is ironic at least twice, now, And she answers the door, And I explain to her the situation “Look, my apartment's on fire whatever The fire department's on the way, I'm locked out…” As I turn the knob, I realize, I'm not locked out. My door didn't even lock, I didn't notice it didn't lock, I just ran, So I'm like “Nevermind I just wanted you to know the fire departments on the way and not to panic” And she just gives me this look With her wombat face —she has wombat face. She looks like a— Like a rabid wombat. Like a— Like a really fucked up, Possum. Like a wombat-possum. And we've been having some—problems. She's my stalker. She's been stalking me; And I've noticed so, It's really awkward that I'm at her door warning her like “hey, don't freak out or anything, the fire department's coming by” And she just looks at me with those beady little eyes and a shrug that tells me If her apartment was about to explode She'd just let me incinerate. , “Whatever, fuck you.” I know I'm a good person, Cause I would want to know— so I let you know There may be danger here! Whatever. So she's like “whatever”, and shuts the door like a normal, sane person Cause my problem with her is that For the past year Every time I take a bath or shower, This wombat looking rabid possum bitch Slams the door. Not just her door, The stairwell exit door, Which is located adjacent to my door. So every time I take a bath for the last year— BOOM. BOOM. Fuck that. Theres's more to the story but you get the point. She's a white supremacist wombat with a door slamming habit. That's that story, this is another story. So anyway. And I just realized, I'm not locked out at all, and so I go back into the apartment not knowing if it contained itself, or if it got worse— I don't know, the whole place is just filled with smoke, and then the super, Who I also called and also don't like, Shows up before the fire department, And he comes in, and he opens the oven, and just— Plumes of smoke— Then the fire dudes rush in, I'm like, “Oh God” I just worked out for three hours and looked wombat girl right in the face, Like, right in the eyes Now I probably look like a wombat That shit is contagious, Fuck that. “”let me put on some sunglasses” So I put on some sunglasses, And three fire dudes walk in in full gear with canisters and shit, Masks; The whole thing. But the super already opened the oven, There's no more flames, No more fire, Just smoke— And a bunch of mad crispy Ashes. No tortilla chips, Just— Ashes, on a cookie sheet. Just— Ashes, But still, smoke everywhere so they have to follow the procedure, And the procedure is, Moving all my shit by dragging it across the floor; Ok, that's cool, I guess, Boom. One of them starts running water down the sink, Alright, Another one just rips down the curtains. I'm like “That's hot.” (It was so hot) Slides back the couch, opens the window. I'm astonished that something as simple as a man pulling down your curtain rod with no regards to giving a fuck can be so exhilirating. I'm like “oh!” Then after all that, They're just standing there. Just, In full gear, Looking at the oven like “Well, that's it.” They're like “K. Bye.” I'm like “that's it?” They're like “Yeah” I'm like l, “I don't need to do anything?” They're like “Just open the window, keep the door open till the smoke comes out” I'm like “that's all” They're like “yeah” I'm like “my bad.” They all just shrug like “whatever” Like, in unison, shrugging like to give no fucks at all, Still in full gear. The only thing I can be sure of is that all three of them are hot and if the super wasn't there, I'd inidiate a gangbang. Almost positive. But five's a crowd, or whatever, so I'm like “Well, thanks guys, sorry about that” and they all just leave, almost disappointed like there wasn't a burning building to actually show up to. I'm just relieved I didn't explode and the solace I can take from this is that I'm a good person. my neighbor is stalking me cause she has NOTHING ELSE to do. That bitch was AT the door, never leaves. She's miserable. She looks like a wombat And 3. Three firefighters entered and exited the apartment head to toe in full gear with heavy ass metal canisters and did not slam a single door. FUCK YOU HOE. Very respectful servicemen. I had called the landlord about her harassing me in the shower and the bathtub. You know she's doing it every bath and every shower for over a year she's doing it on purposes I started making formal complaints; The property management's like “Are you sure she's doing it on purpose?” THREE Fully grown men decked head to toe in full fireproof outfits, helmets, and masks entered and exited the building on one day and in ten minutes more quietly than she has at any given point over the last year. THREE FULLY GROWN MEN. WITH CANISTERS. If they can enter and exit with less noise than a 150 lb wombat— She's doing it on purpose. End of story. Well, end of that story, Or like two stories but Here's the end of this one. So finally after the dust settles And I hit the gym again Because nothing is a better preworkout Than adrenialine, (Especially when you've already had preworkout) I come back and now I'm extra famished and the Amazon guy came in all that fuss And now I have canola oils So I've been soaking some potato wedges And I decide, “Hey, I got wedges. Let's do that” So I heat the oil, and as I'm heating the oil, I realize… I still have two tortillas. Maybe that was the whole point! I'm being a pussy, making tortilla chips, In the oven, on parchment paper, Like a little bitch! So I'm like “Alright, cool, When these wedges are done, the oil should be the perfect temperature for the tortilla chips To be made the old fashioned way The RIGHT way!” So I wait, I do the wedges, and I drop the tortillas, And I wait for them to get golden brown, I drain the oil, I put them out to cool; I do the dishes while they cool, whatever, I grab the salsa container out of the fridge, I take the bowl into the studio so I can watch YouTube while I enjoy my chips, I plop down, Turn on the you tube I open the salsa container— And it's empty. There's no more salsa. I put the container in the fridge empty. Silly me. “You're a comedian, comedy things happen to you.” Suddenly, as I looked up from my makeshift workspace, where I had been toiling away for hours at seemingly nothing—I realized the world was full of everything I'd ever wanted to fuck; something primal and ancient had been awakening within me and I was left in a dangerous volitile position, drifting somewhere between reckless promiscuity in a sexual escapade—and the pseudo-conservative now-only partially celibate maiden form of fantasy—there wasn't anything I could do but wait inside my tragic box for some unassuming old soul to finally open the gate—and allow whatever devious and fiending hedonistic godbeing —though never fully lying dormant, entrapped and imprisoned in a loveless and sexless prison. You might recognize me. You Know, I was one of the original Kings of comedy. If I put my heart inside a box; Maybe I'd forget how cold it was Or how far you are Or how much it hurts There's no harm in God, If there ever was one Then, reality sets in: God was my only friend No armor on, I'm at the end Or a long, long walk I'm off again And on again Nothing's impossible— stop at the alter and scoff a bit I left my coat on, I left my heart on the rooftop, A sacrifice, love At the alter, I wonder a song, Or a sonnet A song, No, what's wrong? Something off a bit God, I woke up in a coffin once Isn't that awful The rest or the song wrote itself, At the alter No, I can't stop and talk Got to get off, Cause I've never been on I've never belonged in the world I'm breaking down, jim boy Don't you know? That this show blows my mind But it's stuck in my head Don't you know That this show Blows my mind Like a firework But it's still Stuck in my Head The context is that I want you From the mustache Down to your tonsils But I'm Locke inside of a box Every day I feel poorer and poorer The product says something is wrong to me I'm supposed to just stop at the stop sign And look both directions Before crossing over to Comic nights At the salad bar What a cosmic waste of time And an epic waste of space Am I in your internet history I'm dead You surely are in mine, But I'm right behind you I'd be lying for trying to say I'm not binded Clutch bag, Nut-thins Nailed to the cross With the arches doubled over The crossword Above old Missouri Missoula and Arkansas All saw us run out of gas But I probably should just get going You're so drunk that I don't hope you sober up Understand that our little talks Were just buffered By sunrise Or sunset And two more cocktails, Shirley temples and Surely none of this ever even happened I only know you by the misery in my belly. The heartache in my ribcage. The cry I hold in silent I only know you as Remarkable I, House of cards Ace of wands Down to one Card of hades and Spare me the spade I'll be drifting in the outline and ink of it forever It's the Fourth of July and I'm just waiting on an Amazon order for water If that's not freedom I don't k me what is The elevator music Of my ascension The attitude of attraction, Gratitude, it's so unusual Fight to lose, In a room full of fools; The fuse, and the matchbox— Futile—amusing— Tunes from a hatchback Keys in the lockbox What you want, From the problem solver? That's enough; Now she's out of the box In just socks, And they laugh at her— But also wonder Where her shoes might have gone to There's a lot of ways to get out of a big black duffel bag, You just have to ask, actually But there's only one To get out of the coffin, Or “Box” as they called it, That she was locked up in Futile—amusing— Tunes from a hatchback Keys in the lockbox What you want, From the problem solver? That's enough; Now she's out of the box In just socks, And they laugh at her— But also wonder Where her shoes might have gone to {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project™ ] {Enter The Multiverse} L E G E N D S: ICONS Tales of A Superstar DJ The Secret Life of Sunnï Blū Ascension Deathwish -Ū. Copyright © The Festival Project, Inc. ™ | Copyright The Complex Collective © 2019-2025 ™ All Rights Reserved. -Ū.

Rob Lowe: True, or False? What's the question? You have access to a hidden realm and/or an open portal. And/ Or? True or False, Rob Lowe. And, or “or”? Distinctively either, actually. ___ Oh, fuck, oh fuck–fuck! You look lost. Look less lost. How am I supposed to know how I look? Look in a mirror. I was told not to do that. No, you should do that. But what if I backshift. You won't backshift, it's impossible. Oh, FUCK. FUCK. Dude, what happened! I backshifted! I told you! Who did you tell? That wasn't me. What! Where did you go? I don't know, I – look, Oh shit. that is so dangerous. Shut up. Other people are trying to get through this portal. That's fucked up. Total mistake. You should close it. NO can do. What. Listen, it's–disgusting, really, I should never admit this but– Don't tell me. You're right. I opened this portal under contractual obligation. You what. No. I know. Listen–I wish I hadn't, but– “but” It really did sweeten the deal. What deal. …”the” deal, alright. No, not alright, Rob Lowe. You listen to me! I'm listening. Barely, but– With whom exactly did you make this “contract” with, exactly? Oh, you know. No, I don't know, which is why I'ma asking. True or false? You get one. I told you, now that's done! You know the rules. No. Not true or false. No… Truth…or DARE. Are you kidding me? Does this seem like a joke, to you? A long running one, sort of! In fact, it was a long running joke– and I was the butt of it. Or the head. Or both. Maybe I was the whole pinata…but that's another entire story…sort of. Listen to me. No, you listen to ME. Okay, I'm listening. Someone up the ladder knew I was writing this–what seemed like complete nonsense, but after years of curation, actually turned out to be… A movie script! A movie?! What kind of movie?! Actually, it looks like… several… Several what? Several manuscripts, some sort of… Some sort of what? Oh my gosh…I…you know what? What? Let me see. I shouldn't be…I shouldn't be reading this. Why, what happened? No… Let me see. It all somehow started to make sense… Rob Lowe and his impeccable professionalism, The books i'd found in the Little Free Library–that lady on the train writing a five-season television series… and most importantly, all the weird shit that happened in the DJ world before my, well… Blū, what are you doing? I don't know yet. Imminent collapse. Little by little, all of the things started adding up–but there still was no definitive answer. Not at all. True or False: Oh, boy, here we go. Once inducted into this secret union, one who is asked True or False must answer so truthfully to anything they are asked to follow–however, the limit to such a question is one. You know the rules. So this better be good. Oh trust me. It is. Why would I ever trust you? Trust me, then. Either of you?! Good point. What's the question? {Enter The Multiverse} OPRAH and GAYLE are eating a lustrous supper over an episode of their newest favorite, most bingable series, {Enter The Multiverse} when OPRAH receives an anonymous call. GAYLE leans in over the smart receiver and observes the incoming call; in anticipation of the series premiere, the ringer is silenced, but the notification appears in a flurry of flashing lights and a calm, vibrational tone. GAYLE KING Hm. OPRAH WINFREY What's that? GAYLE KING Someone's calling. OPRAH WINFREY Who? (Ah-ha) GAYLE KING Unlisted. OPRAH and GAYLE look at one another suspiciously. OPRAH. The audacity. NO ONE–and that is, very seriously NOBODY, calls OPRAH WINFREY anonymously. GAYLE KING Indeed. The receiver continues to flash and vibrate; seemingly odd enough, a storm of thunder and lightning appears to have begun outside; OPRAH'S insanely large panoramic windows begin to pitter patter as the lightning seems to nearly syncronize with the flashing of the receiver. GAYLE KING (CONT'D) Answer it? OPRAH …might as well. GAYLE (biting into her dinner, but answering telepathically) Should be interesting… ENTER THE MULTIVERSE cannot be paused; it is live broadcasted and transmitted from an unknown extra terrestrial satellite signal in the great and ever-expanding cosmos in an unknown realm. Because of this, its availability has been limited to only the wealthy elite, the higher ranks of the entertainment community, extra terrestrial colonies far and wide, and most recently, the global governments on earth as they attempt to track down the origin of this mysterious signal in deep space. ok. OPRAH answers. HELLO? As she accepts the call, the screen becomes available to see with whom she is sharing this conversation, however, bizarrely enough–the very scene plastered onto the giant screen is her very own setting in real time–OPRAH has ENTERED THE MULTIVERSE. GAYLE See. {ENTER THE MULTIVERSE: L E G E N D S} THE ICONS: PART I Oh Jesus. Yeah, we're gonna need all the help we can get. BUTTERS (RYAN REYNOLDS) is not okay. OH JESUS. Lil bitz One day, after therapy, i'm goingto make the best girlfriend ever, You want to cheat? Cheat. Just dont hit me. You love drinking? Drink your face off. Just leave mine alone. Do whatever you want actually– excluding physical assault. I swear, i dont care! I wont argue. Just leave me my teeth Rob Lowe: True, or False? What's the question? You have access to a hidden realm and/or an open portal. And/ Or? True or False, Rob Lowe. And, or “or”? Distinctively either, actually. ___ Oh, fuck, oh fuck–fuck! You look lost. Look less lost. How am I supposed to know how I look? Look in a mirror. I was told not to do that. No, you should do that. But what if I backshift. You won't backshift, it's impossible. Oh, FUCK. FUCK. Dude, what happened! I backshifted! I told you! Who did you tell? That wasn't me. What! Where did you go? I don't know, I – look, Oh shit. that is so dangerous. Shut up. Other people are trying to get through this portal. That's fucked up. Total mistake. You should close it. NO can do. What. Listen, it's–disgusting, really, I should never admit this but– Don't tell me. You're right. I opened this portal under contractual obligation. You what. No. I know. Listen–I wish I hadn't, but– “but” It really did sweeten the deal. What deal. …”the” deal, alright. No, not alright, Rob Lowe. You listen to me! I'm listening. Barely, but– With whom exactly did you make this “contract” with, exactly? Oh, you know. No, I don't know, which is why I'ma asking. True or false? You get one. I told you, now that's done! You know the rules. No. Not true or false. No… Truth…or DARE. Are you kidding me? Does this seem like a joke, to you? A long running one, sort of! In fact, it was a long running joke– and I was the butt of it. Or the head. Or both. Maybe I was the whole pinata…but that's another entire story…sort of. Listen to me. No, you listen to ME. Okay, I'm listening. Someone up the ladder knew I was writing this–what seemed like complete nonsense, but after years of curation, actually turned out to be… A movie script! A movie?! What kind of movie?! Actually, it looks like… several… Several what? Several manuscripts, some sort of… Some sort of what? Oh my gosh…I…you know what? What? Let me see. I shouldn't be…I shouldn't be reading this. Why, what happened? No… Let me see. It all somehow started to make sense… Rob Lowe and his impeccable professionalism, The books i'd found in the Little Free Library–that lady on the train writing a five-season television series… and most importantly, all the weird shit that happened in the DJ world before my, well… Blū, what are you doing? I don't know yet. Imminent collapse. Little by little, all of the things started adding up–but there still was no definitive answer. Not at all. True or False: Oh, boy, here we go. Once inducted into this secret union, one who is asked True or False must answer so truthfully to anything they are asked to follow–however, the limit to such a question is one. You know the rules. So this better be good. Oh trust me. It is. Why would I ever trust you? Trust me, then. Either of you?! Good point. What's the question? {Enter The Multiverse} OPRAH and GAYLE are eating a lustrous supper over an episode of their newest favorite, most bingable series, {Enter The Multiverse} when OPRAH receives an anonymous call. GAYLE leans in over the smart receiver and observes the incoming call; in anticipation of the series premiere, the ringer is silenced, but the notification appears in a flurry of flashing lights and a calm, vibrational tone. GAYLE KING Hm. OPRAH WINFREY What's that? GAYLE KING Someone's calling. OPRAH WINFREY Who? (Ah-ha) GAYLE KING Unlisted. OPRAH and GAYLE look at one another suspiciously. OPRAH. The audacity. NO ONE–and that is, very seriously NOBODY, calls OPRAH WINFREY anonymously. GAYLE KING Indeed. The receiver continues to flash and vibrate; seemingly odd enough, a storm of thunder and lightning appears to have begun outside; OPRAH'S insanely large panoramic windows begin to pitter patter as the lightning seems to nearly syncronize with the flashing of the receiver. GAYLE KING (CONT'D) Answer it? OPRAH …might as well. GAYLE (biting into her dinner, but answering telepathically) Should be interesting… ENTER THE MULTIVERSE cannot be paused; it is live broadcasted and transmitted from an unknown extra terrestrial satellite signal in the great and ever-expanding cosmos in an unknown realm. Because of this, its availability has been limited to only the wealthy elite, the higher ranks of the entertainment community, extra terrestrial colonies far and wide, and most recently, the global governments on earth as they attempt to track down the origin of this mysterious signal in deep space. ok. OPRAH answers. HELLO? As she accepts the call, the screen becomes available to see with whom she is sharing this conversation, however, bizarrely enough–the very scene plastered onto the giant screen is her very own setting in real time–OPRAH has ENTERED THE MULTIVERSE. GAYLE See. {ENTER THE MULTIVERSE: L E G E N D S} THE ICONS: PART I Oh Jesus. Yeah, we're gonna need all the help we can get. BUTTERS (RYAN REYNOLDS) is not okay. OH JESUS. Lil bitz One day, after therapy, i'm goingto make the best girlfriend ever, You want to cheat? Cheat. Just dont hit me. You love drinking? Drink your face off. Just leave mine alone. Do whatever you want actually– excluding physical assault. I swear, i dont care! I wont argue. Just leave me my teeth Do you think it will work? I don't know, Conan, I don't know! Conan O'Brien?! Where did you find Conan O'Brien on such short notice? It was actually pretty easy. I don't think that's real thunder but i'm impressed with the teatrical… Is that not real lightning? It is, but. That's it. Conan, hold this. What. CONAN O'BRIEN is STRUCK by LIGHTENING. It's a-half-past eternity–where the fuck are you? The daunting this was, I hadn't any idea at all how much time had passed… Not really. I'm coming…i'm running late. Tell me about it? Under the circumstances, there really are no straightforward conversions of time between your world and mine–or, our worlds and yours. You mean. How much time you got? Forever. It would take forever and a day to show you even just the slightest of mine, and what I have to offer. But… But what… I should go… Well, go then. …but… The doors are open. This is heavy. The thing is, in navigating between this realm and that, many are lost–and also, many wonder as to what becomes of times past, and all in all, unnoticed, many things are not at all, or never were–or…never again. ANDRE 3000 I know it's coming… ANDRE 3000 slides smoothly, leaning back until the grand piano on his back stands on its own legs on the crystalline floor of the clouded paradox; a glistening void in the kingdom of the unknown, where much time is spend, in the journey of pondering. Now he is laying down on the piano and flat on his back, horizontal to the golden glow of the purplish horizon in this place, seeping into a quiet unknown, waiting– ANDRE 3000 …and here I will wait. Man, this show is so weird. I know, you would think i'm on drugs. I wish. WISH? Oh God, here comes this guy again. Whose this guy? I don't know! He grants my wishes! I'm a–fairy–I think. Right. Whatever. Ooh. Wait. Is this for me? I can't memorize all these things. Playing all these characters. That's – seriously? Seriously. Stop caving. I'm caving. You are–quite possibly the only anybody, who can play this part at all. “The Only Anybody” Nobody was someone indeed But still noone, nobody at all, in fact Until… You sold your soul to the devil! …so? *gasp* Hey. What gives. True–or False. Huh. That's funny. No one's ever asked me. How come? [beat] I'm assuming like, they wouldn't want the answer. (shrugs nonchalantly) Wow. That's… You're using my own time travel theory–against me! Technically it was proven through experimentation and is now– a law. FUCK. Uh. You're welcome! You're ruining my life! No, i'm fixing it. INCORRECT. You know i can barely breathe in here… And why is it that we would happen me to connected, commander?! Interlogues, and interlogues of space, my captain– I promorged bodies and bodies over your arrival, imdending my great death, For mere mortals to come! For sport? “For sport!” heaven's gates! You seem aroused… Ar least have mercy on these gracious keepsakes. I keep praying for these aches to pass and subside–days, weeks, months even I can barely open my eyes… This is no fortunate thought. I beg mercy. {ENTER THE MULTIVERSE} THE LIBRARY (working title) CAST: THE COMMISSIONER - Adam Sandler THE GENERAL- JIMMY KIMMEL THE CONSTABLE - KATT WILLIAMS THE ADMIRAL- JIMMY FALLON PEONY - CONAN O'BRIEN SUPPORTING {ENTER THE MULTIVERSE} INTERLUDES - WHOOPI GOLDBERG “Interludes and Expressions” Oh, so there are women? Eventually. But also– Not quite. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project™ ] {Enter The Multiverse} L E G E N D S: ICONS Tales of A Superstar DJ The Secret Life of Sunnï Blū Ascension Deathwish -Ū. Copyright © The Festival Project, Inc. ™ | Copyright The Complex Collective © 2019-2025 ™ All Rights Reserved. -Ū.

“The Golden Rule” I finally did it. I finally set my house on fire. You don't know. I've lived there two years; I just now did it. This amazes me that just how. Here's how it happened. So I'm in my kitchen, cooking. I just worked out for like, three hours so I'm cooking everything. Everything. I put the soup on, but by the end of the workout, I'm not sure the soup is going to be enough. So, I thought to myself, “You know what, I'm going to make some tortilla chips” A few days before I made the dopest salsa. I couldn't get enough of it. It was the best salsa ever. I was like “gosh” so every day, Tacos for three days, Just to put the salsa on top, And on the fourth day, I'm like “Nah, soup.” So, I put the soup on and I go workout, But the soup, you see has roasted vegetables in in, You know? So what I had done was, I had roasted the vegetables on a pan, but the pan is a little worn, so i put them on parchment paper… … Yeah, but here's what really happened, Is I took the vegetables off of the roasting pan, and I was about to throw away the parchment paper, And I thought “Wait. No! There's still so much oil on this!” And I didn't want to be wasteful. So I turned the oven back on, And I took out the tortillas I had— There were four of them— I took out two, Just in case I wanted two actual tacos later— Cause you know, I really love this fucking salsa. So good. Anyway— I take out two of the four tortillas, And I quarter them, And I flip them in the leftover oil from the roasted vegetables, And I'm thinking— This is going to be so good Roasted vegetable flavored Corn tortilla chips— I brush on a little bit of coconut oil, I drop some lemon juice on them, I put on a little salt— And I put them in the oven— I turn the oven to broil, And then I start the dishes; Dishes takes about ten minutes, This should take about ten minutes— So I start doing the dishes, And cleaning up, And putting them away, And this is the most ironic shit in the world, I start thinking to myself Particularly about this comedian that I like And I start thinking to myself “Wow, so you're a comedian; Comedian things happen to you; You're a real comedian. I must not be a real comedian— Because comedy things don't happen to me.” And right at that moment, I just so happen to look into the oven, And all I see is flames. Like, open flames. Big, flames. So I open the oven; More flames. I'm like “Oh no.” So now I'm panicking because I've never had an apartment with a gas stove before, So I don't know how quickly flames turn into massive explosions. And it's honestly funny how suicidal I am, Until I see open flames and I'm like “No, but— not like THIS!” So I freak out, I hit the breaker. I turn off everything in the place I'm not looking to see which switch is “gas” I turned turned them all off, Click, click, click, click Put on my slip ons, and grab my phone and I'm out the door. And I'm thinking to myself “See this is why you need a phone,” Because honestly sometimes, I don't feel like paying the bill. I feel like having toilet paper, Or soap, Or water— And I just “Whatever” But lately, I've been looking for more work because I like having toilet paper, and soap, and water AND a phone— so I keep the phone on, Which, even in the moment is like “Oh yeah, wow, I have a phone” Like I'm in astonishment at how handy it is because if it's handy for anything, This is it. So I'm out the door, and I'm dialing 911 as I hit the staircase; Whoosh, I'm out the door and in the long before the operator even picks up, And I'm in the lobby, on the phone, and the operator gets the address and I'm just standing there — Mind you, I didn't even grab my keys on the way out, so I'm assuming the door is locked, And I think to myself about the size of the flames and the fact that they were coming from the oven which is connected to a gas line which is connected to the rest of the building, so I don't know how any of that stuff works, And then I start thinking. “Should I warn my neighbors?” I hate my neighbors. Or rather, My neighbors hate me. But I'm thinking of the flames and the smoke and the danger and how, if it was me, I'd want to know if the apartment next door to mine was on fire and possibly about to explode. You know; the golden rule. So I'm like “fuck it” I don't get along with these people but I don't mean to blow them up. So I run back upstairs, And I knock on their doors; Not everyone's doors, just the two doors in what I assume would be the blast area. I knock on their doors, And only one of them answers— The one that answers is, of course, The one that's been stalking me. So this is ironic at least twice, now, And she answers the door, And I explain to her the situation “Look, my apartment's on fire whatever The fire department's on the way, I'm locked out…” As I turn the knob, I realize, I'm not locked out. My door didn't even lock, I didn't notice it didn't lock, I just ran, So I'm like “Nevermind I just wanted you to know the fire departments on the way and not to panic” And she just gives me this look With her wombat face —she has wombat face. She looks like a— Like a rabid wombat. Like a— Like a really fucked up, Possum. Like a wombat-possum. And we've been having some—problems. She's my stalker. She's been stalking me; And I've noticed so, It's really awkward that I'm at her door warning her like “hey, don't freak out or anything, the fire department's coming by” And she just looks at me with those beady little eyes and a shrug that tells me If her apartment was about to explode She'd just let me incinerate. , “Whatever, fuck you.” I know I'm a good person, Cause I would want to know— so I let you know There may be danger here! Whatever. So she's like “whatever”, and shuts the door like a normal, sane person Cause my problem with her is that For the past year Every time I take a bath or shower, This wombat looking rabid possum bitch Slams the door. Not just her door, The stairwell exit door, Which is located adjacent to my door. So every time I take a bath for the last year— BOOM. BOOM. Fuck that. Theres's more to the story but you get the point. She's a white supremacist wombat with a door slamming habit. That's that story, this is another story. So anyway. And I just realized, I'm not locked out at all, and so I go back into the apartment not knowing if it contained itself, or if it got worse— I don't know, the whole place is just filled with smoke, and then the super, Who I also called and also don't like, Shows up before the fire department, And he comes in, and he opens the oven, and just— Plumes of smoke— Then the fire dudes rush in, I'm like, “Oh God” I just worked out for three hours and looked wombat girl right in the face, Like, right in the eyes Now I probably look like a wombat That shit is contagious, Fuck that. “”let me put on some sunglasses” So I put on some sunglasses, And three fire dudes walk in in full gear with canisters and shit, Masks; The whole thing. But the super already opened the oven, There's no more flames, No more fire, Just smoke— And a bunch of mad crispy Ashes. No tortilla chips, Just— Ashes, on a cookie sheet. Just— Ashes, But still, smoke everywhere so they have to follow the procedure, And the procedure is, Moving all my shit by dragging it across the floor; Ok, that's cool, I guess, Boom. One of them starts running water down the sink, Alright, Another one just rips down the curtains. I'm like “That's hot.” (It was so hot) Slides back the couch, opens the window. I'm astonished that something as simple as a man pulling down your curtain rod with no regards to giving a fuck can be so exhilirating. I'm like “oh!” Then after all that, They're just standing there. Just, In full gear, Looking at the oven like “Well, that's it.” They're like “K. Bye.” I'm like “that's it?” They're like “Yeah” I'm like l, “I don't need to do anything?” They're like “Just open the window, keep the door open till the smoke comes out” I'm like “that's all” They're like “yeah” I'm like “my bad.” They all just shrug like “whatever” Like, in unison, shrugging like to give no fucks at all, Still in full gear. The only thing I can be sure of is that all three of them are hot and if the super wasn't there, I'd inidiate a gangbang. Almost positive. But five's a crowd, or whatever, so I'm like “Well, thanks guys, sorry about that” and they all just leave, almost disappointed like there wasn't a burning building to actually show up to. I'm just relieved I didn't explode and the solace I can take from this is that I'm a good person. my neighbor is stalking me cause she has NOTHING ELSE to do. That bitch was AT the door, never leaves. She's miserable. She looks like a wombat And 3. Three firefighters entered and exited the apartment head to toe in full gear with heavy ass metal canisters and did not slam a single door. FUCK YOU HOE. Very respectful servicemen. I had called the landlord about her harassing me in the shower and the bathtub. You know she's doing it every bath and every shower for over a year she's doing it on purposes I started making formal complaints; The property management's like “Are you sure she's doing it on purpose?” THREE Fully grown men decked head to toe in full fireproof outfits, helmets, and masks entered and exited the building on one day and in ten minutes more quietly than she has at any given point over the last year. THREE FULLY GROWN MEN. WITH CANISTERS. If they can enter and exit with less noise than a 150 lb wombat— She's doing it on purpose. End of story. Well, end of that story, Or like two stories but Here's the end of this one. So finally after the dust settles And I hit the gym again Because nothing is a better preworkout Than adrenialine, (Especially when you've already had preworkout) I come back and now I'm extra famished and the Amazon guy came in all that fuss And now I have canola oils So I've been soaking some potato wedges And I decide, “Hey, I got wedges. Let's do that” So I heat the oil, and as I'm heating the oil, I realize… I still have two tortillas. Maybe that was the whole point! I'm being a pussy, making tortilla chips, In the oven, on parchment paper, Like a little bitch! So I'm like “Alright, cool, When these wedges are done, the oil should be the perfect temperature for the tortilla chips To be made the old fashioned way The RIGHT way!” So I wait, I do the wedges, and I drop the tortillas, And I wait for them to get golden brown, I drain the oil, I put them out to cool; I do the dishes while they cool, whatever, I grab the salsa container out of the fridge, I take the bowl into the studio so I can watch YouTube while I enjoy my chips, I plop down, Turn on the you tube I open the salsa container— And it's empty. There's no more salsa. I put the container in the fridge empty. Silly me. “You're a comedian, comedy things happen to you.” Suddenly, as I looked up from my makeshift workspace, where I had been toiling away for hours at seemingly nothing—I realized the world was full of everything I'd ever wanted to fuck; something primal and ancient had been awakening within me and I was left in a dangerous volitile position, drifting somewhere between reckless promiscuity in a sexual escapade—and the pseudo-conservative now-only partially celibate maiden form of fantasy—there wasn't anything I could do but wait inside my tragic box for some unassuming old soul to finally open the gate—and allow whatever devious and fiending hedonistic godbeing —though never fully lying dormant, entrapped and imprisoned in a loveless and sexless prison. You might recognize me. You Know, I was one of the original Kings of comedy. If I put my heart inside a box; Maybe I'd forget how cold it was Or how far you are Or how much it hurts There's no harm in God, If there ever was one Then, reality sets in: God was my only friend No armor on, I'm at the end Or a long, long walk I'm off again And on again Nothing's impossible— stop at the alter and scoff a bit I left my coat on, I left my heart on the rooftop, A sacrifice, love At the alter, I wonder a song, Or a sonnet A song, No, what's wrong? Something off a bit God, I woke up in a coffin once Isn't that awful The rest or the song wrote itself, At the alter No, I can't stop and talk Got to get off, Cause I've never been on I've never belonged in the world I'm breaking down, jim boy Don't you know? That this show blows my mind But it's stuck in my head Don't you know That this show Blows my mind Like a firework But it's still Stuck in my Head The context is that I want you From the mustache Down to your tonsils But I'm Locke inside of a box Every day I feel poorer and poorer The product says something is wrong to me I'm supposed to just stop at the stop sign And look both directions Before crossing over to Comic nights At the salad bar What a cosmic waste of time And an epic waste of space Am I in your internet history I'm dead You surely are in mine, But I'm right behind you I'd be lying for trying to say I'm not binded Clutch bag, Nut-thins Nailed to the cross With the arches doubled over The crossword Above old Missouri Missoula and Arkansas All saw us run out of gas But I probably should just get going You're so drunk that I don't hope you sober up Understand that our little talks Were just buffered By sunrise Or sunset And two more cocktails, Shirley temples and Surely none of this ever even happened I only know you by the misery in my belly. The heartache in my ribcage. The cry I hold in silent I only know you as Remarkable I, House of cards Ace of wands Down to one Card of hades and Spare me the spade I'll be drifting in the outline and ink of it forever It's the Fourth of July and I'm just waiting on an Amazon order for water If that's not freedom I don't k me what is The elevator music Of my ascension The attitude of attraction, Gratitude, it's so unusual Fight to lose, In a room full of fools; The fuse, and the matchbox— Futile—amusing— Tunes from a hatchback Keys in the lockbox What you want, From the problem solver? That's enough; Now she's out of the box In just socks, And they laugh at her— But also wonder Where her shoes might have gone to There's a lot of ways to get out of a big black duffel bag, You just have to ask, actually But there's only one To get out of the coffin, Or “Box” as they called it, That she was locked up in Futile—amusing— Tunes from a hatchback Keys in the lockbox What you want, From the problem solver? That's enough; Now she's out of the box In just socks, And they laugh at her— But also wonder Where her shoes might have gone to {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project™ ] {Enter The Multiverse} L E G E N D S: ICONS Tales of A Superstar DJ The Secret Life of Sunnï Blū Ascension Deathwish -Ū. Copyright © The Festival Project, Inc. ™ | Copyright The Complex Collective © 2019-2025 ™ All Rights Reserved. -Ū.

Rob Lowe: True, or False? What's the question? You have access to a hidden realm and/or an open portal. And/ Or? True or False, Rob Lowe. And, or “or”? Distinctively either, actually. ___ Oh, fuck, oh fuck–fuck! You look lost. Look less lost. How am I supposed to know how I look? Look in a mirror. I was told not to do that. No, you should do that. But what if I backshift. You won't backshift, it's impossible. Oh, FUCK. FUCK. Dude, what happened! I backshifted! I told you! Who did you tell? That wasn't me. What! Where did you go? I don't know, I – look, Oh shit. that is so dangerous. Shut up. Other people are trying to get through this portal. That's fucked up. Total mistake. You should close it. NO can do. What. Listen, it's–disgusting, really, I should never admit this but– Don't tell me. You're right. I opened this portal under contractual obligation. You what. No. I know. Listen–I wish I hadn't, but– “but” It really did sweeten the deal. What deal. …”the” deal, alright. No, not alright, Rob Lowe. You listen to me! I'm listening. Barely, but– With whom exactly did you make this “contract” with, exactly? Oh, you know. No, I don't know, which is why I'ma asking. True or false? You get one. I told you, now that's done! You know the rules. No. Not true or false. No… Truth…or DARE. Are you kidding me? Does this seem like a joke, to you? A long running one, sort of! In fact, it was a long running joke– and I was the butt of it. Or the head. Or both. Maybe I was the whole pinata…but that's another entire story…sort of. Listen to me. No, you listen to ME. Okay, I'm listening. Someone up the ladder knew I was writing this–what seemed like complete nonsense, but after years of curation, actually turned out to be… A movie script! A movie?! What kind of movie?! Actually, it looks like… several… Several what? Several manuscripts, some sort of… Some sort of what? Oh my gosh…I…you know what? What? Let me see. I shouldn't be…I shouldn't be reading this. Why, what happened? No… Let me see. It all somehow started to make sense… Rob Lowe and his impeccable professionalism, The books i'd found in the Little Free Library–that lady on the train writing a five-season television series… and most importantly, all the weird shit that happened in the DJ world before my, well… Blū, what are you doing? I don't know yet. Imminent collapse. Little by little, all of the things started adding up–but there still was no definitive answer. Not at all. True or False: Oh, boy, here we go. Once inducted into this secret union, one who is asked True or False must answer so truthfully to anything they are asked to follow–however, the limit to such a question is one. You know the rules. So this better be good. Oh trust me. It is. Why would I ever trust you? Trust me, then. Either of you?! Good point. What's the question? {Enter The Multiverse} OPRAH and GAYLE are eating a lustrous supper over an episode of their newest favorite, most bingable series, {Enter The Multiverse} when OPRAH receives an anonymous call. GAYLE leans in over the smart receiver and observes the incoming call; in anticipation of the series premiere, the ringer is silenced, but the notification appears in a flurry of flashing lights and a calm, vibrational tone. GAYLE KING Hm. OPRAH WINFREY What's that? GAYLE KING Someone's calling. OPRAH WINFREY Who? (Ah-ha) GAYLE KING Unlisted. OPRAH and GAYLE look at one another suspiciously. OPRAH. The audacity. NO ONE–and that is, very seriously NOBODY, calls OPRAH WINFREY anonymously. GAYLE KING Indeed. The receiver continues to flash and vibrate; seemingly odd enough, a storm of thunder and lightning appears to have begun outside; OPRAH'S insanely large panoramic windows begin to pitter patter as the lightning seems to nearly syncronize with the flashing of the receiver. GAYLE KING (CONT'D) Answer it? OPRAH …might as well. GAYLE (biting into her dinner, but answering telepathically) Should be interesting… ENTER THE MULTIVERSE cannot be paused; it is live broadcasted and transmitted from an unknown extra terrestrial satellite signal in the great and ever-expanding cosmos in an unknown realm. Because of this, its availability has been limited to only the wealthy elite, the higher ranks of the entertainment community, extra terrestrial colonies far and wide, and most recently, the global governments on earth as they attempt to track down the origin of this mysterious signal in deep space. ok. OPRAH answers. HELLO? As she accepts the call, the screen becomes available to see with whom she is sharing this conversation, however, bizarrely enough–the very scene plastered onto the giant screen is her very own setting in real time–OPRAH has ENTERED THE MULTIVERSE. GAYLE See. {ENTER THE MULTIVERSE: L E G E N D S} THE ICONS: PART I Oh Jesus. Yeah, we're gonna need all the help we can get. BUTTERS (RYAN REYNOLDS) is not okay. OH JESUS. Lil bitz One day, after therapy, i'm goingto make the best girlfriend ever, You want to cheat? Cheat. Just dont hit me. You love drinking? Drink your face off. Just leave mine alone. Do whatever you want actually– excluding physical assault. I swear, i dont care! I wont argue. Just leave me my teeth Rob Lowe: True, or False? What's the question? You have access to a hidden realm and/or an open portal. And/ Or? True or False, Rob Lowe. And, or “or”? Distinctively either, actually. ___ Oh, fuck, oh fuck–fuck! You look lost. Look less lost. How am I supposed to know how I look? Look in a mirror. I was told not to do that. No, you should do that. But what if I backshift. You won't backshift, it's impossible. Oh, FUCK. FUCK. Dude, what happened! I backshifted! I told you! Who did you tell? That wasn't me. What! Where did you go? I don't know, I – look, Oh shit. that is so dangerous. Shut up. Other people are trying to get through this portal. That's fucked up. Total mistake. You should close it. NO can do. What. Listen, it's–disgusting, really, I should never admit this but– Don't tell me. You're right. I opened this portal under contractual obligation. You what. No. I know. Listen–I wish I hadn't, but– “but” It really did sweeten the deal. What deal. …”the” deal, alright. No, not alright, Rob Lowe. You listen to me! I'm listening. Barely, but– With whom exactly did you make this “contract” with, exactly? Oh, you know. No, I don't know, which is why I'ma asking. True or false? You get one. I told you, now that's done! You know the rules. No. Not true or false. No… Truth…or DARE. Are you kidding me? Does this seem like a joke, to you? A long running one, sort of! In fact, it was a long running joke– and I was the butt of it. Or the head. Or both. Maybe I was the whole pinata…but that's another entire story…sort of. Listen to me. No, you listen to ME. Okay, I'm listening. Someone up the ladder knew I was writing this–what seemed like complete nonsense, but after years of curation, actually turned out to be… A movie script! A movie?! What kind of movie?! Actually, it looks like… several… Several what? Several manuscripts, some sort of… Some sort of what? Oh my gosh…I…you know what? What? Let me see. I shouldn't be…I shouldn't be reading this. Why, what happened? No… Let me see. It all somehow started to make sense… Rob Lowe and his impeccable professionalism, The books i'd found in the Little Free Library–that lady on the train writing a five-season television series… and most importantly, all the weird shit that happened in the DJ world before my, well… Blū, what are you doing? I don't know yet. Imminent collapse. Little by little, all of the things started adding up–but there still was no definitive answer. Not at all. True or False: Oh, boy, here we go. Once inducted into this secret union, one who is asked True or False must answer so truthfully to anything they are asked to follow–however, the limit to such a question is one. You know the rules. So this better be good. Oh trust me. It is. Why would I ever trust you? Trust me, then. Either of you?! Good point. What's the question? {Enter The Multiverse} OPRAH and GAYLE are eating a lustrous supper over an episode of their newest favorite, most bingable series, {Enter The Multiverse} when OPRAH receives an anonymous call. GAYLE leans in over the smart receiver and observes the incoming call; in anticipation of the series premiere, the ringer is silenced, but the notification appears in a flurry of flashing lights and a calm, vibrational tone. GAYLE KING Hm. OPRAH WINFREY What's that? GAYLE KING Someone's calling. OPRAH WINFREY Who? (Ah-ha) GAYLE KING Unlisted. OPRAH and GAYLE look at one another suspiciously. OPRAH. The audacity. NO ONE–and that is, very seriously NOBODY, calls OPRAH WINFREY anonymously. GAYLE KING Indeed. The receiver continues to flash and vibrate; seemingly odd enough, a storm of thunder and lightning appears to have begun outside; OPRAH'S insanely large panoramic windows begin to pitter patter as the lightning seems to nearly syncronize with the flashing of the receiver. GAYLE KING (CONT'D) Answer it? OPRAH …might as well. GAYLE (biting into her dinner, but answering telepathically) Should be interesting… ENTER THE MULTIVERSE cannot be paused; it is live broadcasted and transmitted from an unknown extra terrestrial satellite signal in the great and ever-expanding cosmos in an unknown realm. Because of this, its availability has been limited to only the wealthy elite, the higher ranks of the entertainment community, extra terrestrial colonies far and wide, and most recently, the global governments on earth as they attempt to track down the origin of this mysterious signal in deep space. ok. OPRAH answers. HELLO? As she accepts the call, the screen becomes available to see with whom she is sharing this conversation, however, bizarrely enough–the very scene plastered onto the giant screen is her very own setting in real time–OPRAH has ENTERED THE MULTIVERSE. GAYLE See. {ENTER THE MULTIVERSE: L E G E N D S} THE ICONS: PART I Oh Jesus. Yeah, we're gonna need all the help we can get. BUTTERS (RYAN REYNOLDS) is not okay. OH JESUS. Lil bitz One day, after therapy, i'm goingto make the best girlfriend ever, You want to cheat? Cheat. Just dont hit me. You love drinking? Drink your face off. Just leave mine alone. Do whatever you want actually– excluding physical assault. I swear, i dont care! I wont argue. Just leave me my teeth Do you think it will work? I don't know, Conan, I don't know! Conan O'Brien?! Where did you find Conan O'Brien on such short notice? It was actually pretty easy. I don't think that's real thunder but i'm impressed with the teatrical… Is that not real lightning? It is, but. That's it. Conan, hold this. What. CONAN O'BRIEN is STRUCK by LIGHTENING. It's a-half-past eternity–where the fuck are you? The daunting this was, I hadn't any idea at all how much time had passed… Not really. I'm coming…i'm running late. Tell me about it? Under the circumstances, there really are no straightforward conversions of time between your world and mine–or, our worlds and yours. You mean. How much time you got? Forever. It would take forever and a day to show you even just the slightest of mine, and what I have to offer. But… But what… I should go… Well, go then. …but… The doors are open. This is heavy. The thing is, in navigating between this realm and that, many are lost–and also, many wonder as to what becomes of times past, and all in all, unnoticed, many things are not at all, or never were–or…never again. ANDRE 3000 I know it's coming… ANDRE 3000 slides smoothly, leaning back until the grand piano on his back stands on its own legs on the crystalline floor of the clouded paradox; a glistening void in the kingdom of the unknown, where much time is spend, in the journey of pondering. Now he is laying down on the piano and flat on his back, horizontal to the golden glow of the purplish horizon in this place, seeping into a quiet unknown, waiting– ANDRE 3000 …and here I will wait. Man, this show is so weird. I know, you would think i'm on drugs. I wish. WISH? Oh God, here comes this guy again. Whose this guy? I don't know! He grants my wishes! I'm a–fairy–I think. Right. Whatever. Ooh. Wait. Is this for me? I can't memorize all these things. Playing all these characters. That's – seriously? Seriously. Stop caving. I'm caving. You are–quite possibly the only anybody, who can play this part at all. “The Only Anybody” Nobody was someone indeed But still noone, nobody at all, in fact Until… You sold your soul to the devil! …so? *gasp* Hey. What gives. True–or False. Huh. That's funny. No one's ever asked me. How come? [beat] I'm assuming like, they wouldn't want the answer. (shrugs nonchalantly) Wow. That's… You're using my own time travel theory–against me! Technically it was proven through experimentation and is now– a law. FUCK. Uh. You're welcome! You're ruining my life! No, i'm fixing it. INCORRECT. You know i can barely breathe in here… And why is it that we would happen me to connected, commander?! Interlogues, and interlogues of space, my captain– I promorged bodies and bodies over your arrival, imdending my great death, For mere mortals to come! For sport? “For sport!” heaven's gates! You seem aroused… Ar least have mercy on these gracious keepsakes. I keep praying for these aches to pass and subside–days, weeks, months even I can barely open my eyes… This is no fortunate thought. I beg mercy. {ENTER THE MULTIVERSE} THE LIBRARY (working title) CAST: THE COMMISSIONER - Adam Sandler THE GENERAL- JIMMY KIMMEL THE CONSTABLE - KATT WILLIAMS THE ADMIRAL- JIMMY FALLON PEONY - CONAN O'BRIEN SUPPORTING {ENTER THE MULTIVERSE} INTERLUDES - WHOOPI GOLDBERG “Interludes and Expressions” Oh, so there are women? Eventually. But also– Not quite. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project™ ] {Enter The Multiverse} L E G E N D S: ICONS Tales of A Superstar DJ The Secret Life of Sunnï Blū Ascension Deathwish -Ū. Copyright © The Festival Project, Inc. ™ | Copyright The Complex Collective © 2019-2025 ™ All Rights Reserved. -Ū.

“The Golden Rule” I finally did it. I finally set my house on fire. You don't know. I've lived there two years; I just now did it. This amazes me that just how. Here's how it happened. So I'm in my kitchen, cooking. I just worked out for like, three hours so I'm cooking everything. Everything. I put the soup on, but by the end of the workout, I'm not sure the soup is going to be enough. So, I thought to myself, “You know what, I'm going to make some tortilla chips” A few days before I made the dopest salsa. I couldn't get enough of it. It was the best salsa ever. I was like “gosh” so every day, Tacos for three days, Just to put the salsa on top, And on the fourth day, I'm like “Nah, soup.” So, I put the soup on and I go workout, But the soup, you see has roasted vegetables in in, You know? So what I had done was, I had roasted the vegetables on a pan, but the pan is a little worn, so i put them on parchment paper… … Yeah, but here's what really happened, Is I took the vegetables off of the roasting pan, and I was about to throw away the parchment paper, And I thought “Wait. No! There's still so much oil on this!” And I didn't want to be wasteful. So I turned the oven back on, And I took out the tortillas I had— There were four of them— I took out two, Just in case I wanted two actual tacos later— Cause you know, I really love this fucking salsa. So good. Anyway— I take out two of the four tortillas, And I quarter them, And I flip them in the leftover oil from the roasted vegetables, And I'm thinking— This is going to be so good Roasted vegetable flavored Corn tortilla chips— I brush on a little bit of coconut oil, I drop some lemon juice on them, I put on a little salt— And I put them in the oven— I turn the oven to broil, And then I start the dishes; Dishes takes about ten minutes, This should take about ten minutes— So I start doing the dishes, And cleaning up, And putting them away, And this is the most ironic shit in the world, I start thinking to myself Particularly about this comedian that I like And I start thinking to myself “Wow, so you're a comedian; Comedian things happen to you; You're a real comedian. I must not be a real comedian— Because comedy things don't happen to me.” And right at that moment, I just so happen to look into the oven, And all I see is flames. Like, open flames. Big, flames. So I open the oven; More flames. I'm like “Oh no.” So now I'm panicking because I've never had an apartment with a gas stove before, So I don't know how quickly flames turn into massive explosions. And it's honestly funny how suicidal I am, Until I see open flames and I'm like “No, but— not like THIS!” So I freak out, I hit the breaker. I turn off everything in the place I'm not looking to see which switch is “gas” I turned turned them all off, Click, click, click, click Put on my slip ons, and grab my phone and I'm out the door. And I'm thinking to myself “See this is why you need a phone,” Because honestly sometimes, I don't feel like paying the bill. I feel like having toilet paper, Or soap, Or water— And I just “Whatever” But lately, I've been looking for more work because I like having toilet paper, and soap, and water AND a phone— so I keep the phone on, Which, even in the moment is like “Oh yeah, wow, I have a phone” Like I'm in astonishment at how handy it is because if it's handy for anything, This is it. So I'm out the door, and I'm dialing 911 as I hit the staircase; Whoosh, I'm out the door and in the long before the operator even picks up, And I'm in the lobby, on the phone, and the operator gets the address and I'm just standing there — Mind you, I didn't even grab my keys on the way out, so I'm assuming the door is locked, And I think to myself about the size of the flames and the fact that they were coming from the oven which is connected to a gas line which is connected to the rest of the building, so I don't know how any of that stuff works, And then I start thinking. “Should I warn my neighbors?” I hate my neighbors. Or rather, My neighbors hate me. But I'm thinking of the flames and the smoke and the danger and how, if it was me, I'd want to know if the apartment next door to mine was on fire and possibly about to explode. You know; the golden rule. So I'm like “fuck it” I don't get along with these people but I don't mean to blow them up. So I run back upstairs, And I knock on their doors; Not everyone's doors, just the two doors in what I assume would be the blast area. I knock on their doors, And only one of them answers— The one that answers is, of course, The one that's been stalking me. So this is ironic at least twice, now, And she answers the door, And I explain to her the situation “Look, my apartment's on fire whatever The fire department's on the way, I'm locked out…” As I turn the knob, I realize, I'm not locked out. My door didn't even lock, I didn't notice it didn't lock, I just ran, So I'm like “Nevermind I just wanted you to know the fire departments on the way and not to panic” And she just gives me this look With her wombat face —she has wombat face. She looks like a— Like a rabid wombat. Like a— Like a really fucked up, Possum. Like a wombat-possum. And we've been having some—problems. She's my stalker. She's been stalking me; And I've noticed so, It's really awkward that I'm at her door warning her like “hey, don't freak out or anything, the fire department's coming by” And she just looks at me with those beady little eyes and a shrug that tells me If her apartment was about to explode She'd just let me incinerate. , “Whatever, fuck you.” I know I'm a good person, Cause I would want to know— so I let you know There may be danger here! Whatever. So she's like “whatever”, and shuts the door like a normal, sane person Cause my problem with her is that For the past year Every time I take a bath or shower, This wombat looking rabid possum bitch Slams the door. Not just her door, The stairwell exit door, Which is located adjacent to my door. So every time I take a bath for the last year— BOOM. BOOM. Fuck that. Theres's more to the story but you get the point. She's a white supremacist wombat with a door slamming habit. That's that story, this is another story. So anyway. And I just realized, I'm not locked out at all, and so I go back into the apartment not knowing if it contained itself, or if it got worse— I don't know, the whole place is just filled with smoke, and then the super, Who I also called and also don't like, Shows up before the fire department, And he comes in, and he opens the oven, and just— Plumes of smoke— Then the fire dudes rush in, I'm like, “Oh God” I just worked out for three hours and looked wombat girl right in the face, Like, right in the eyes Now I probably look like a wombat That shit is contagious, Fuck that. “”let me put on some sunglasses” So I put on some sunglasses, And three fire dudes walk in in full gear with canisters and shit, Masks; The whole thing. But the super already opened the oven, There's no more flames, No more fire, Just smoke— And a bunch of mad crispy Ashes. No tortilla chips, Just— Ashes, on a cookie sheet. Just— Ashes, But still, smoke everywhere so they have to follow the procedure, And the procedure is, Moving all my shit by dragging it across the floor; Ok, that's cool, I guess, Boom. One of them starts running water down the sink, Alright, Another one just rips down the curtains. I'm like “That's hot.” (It was so hot) Slides back the couch, opens the window. I'm astonished that something as simple as a man pulling down your curtain rod with no regards to giving a fuck can be so exhilirating. I'm like “oh!” Then after all that, They're just standing there. Just, In full gear, Looking at the oven like “Well, that's it.” They're like “K. Bye.” I'm like “that's it?” They're like “Yeah” I'm like l, “I don't need to do anything?” They're like “Just open the window, keep the door open till the smoke comes out” I'm like “that's all” They're like “yeah” I'm like “my bad.” They all just shrug like “whatever” Like, in unison, shrugging like to give no fucks at all, Still in full gear. The only thing I can be sure of is that all three of them are hot and if the super wasn't there, I'd inidiate a gangbang. Almost positive. But five's a crowd, or whatever, so I'm like “Well, thanks guys, sorry about that” and they all just leave, almost disappointed like there wasn't a burning building to actually show up to. I'm just relieved I didn't explode and the solace I can take from this is that I'm a good person. my neighbor is stalking me cause she has NOTHING ELSE to do. That bitch was AT the door, never leaves. She's miserable. She looks like a wombat And 3. Three firefighters entered and exited the apartment head to toe in full gear with heavy ass metal canisters and did not slam a single door. FUCK YOU HOE. Very respectful servicemen. I had called the landlord about her harassing me in the shower and the bathtub. You know she's doing it every bath and every shower for over a year she's doing it on purposes I started making formal complaints; The property management's like “Are you sure she's doing it on purpose?” THREE Fully grown men decked head to toe in full fireproof outfits, helmets, and masks entered and exited the building on one day and in ten minutes more quietly than she has at any given point over the last year. THREE FULLY GROWN MEN. WITH CANISTERS. If they can enter and exit with less noise than a 150 lb wombat— She's doing it on purpose. End of story. Well, end of that story, Or like two stories but Here's the end of this one. So finally after the dust settles And I hit the gym again Because nothing is a better preworkout Than adrenialine, (Especially when you've already had preworkout) I come back and now I'm extra famished and the Amazon guy came in all that fuss And now I have canola oils So I've been soaking some potato wedges And I decide, “Hey, I got wedges. Let's do that” So I heat the oil, and as I'm heating the oil, I realize… I still have two tortillas. Maybe that was the whole point! I'm being a pussy, making tortilla chips, In the oven, on parchment paper, Like a little bitch! So I'm like “Alright, cool, When these wedges are done, the oil should be the perfect temperature for the tortilla chips To be made the old fashioned way The RIGHT way!” So I wait, I do the wedges, and I drop the tortillas, And I wait for them to get golden brown, I drain the oil, I put them out to cool; I do the dishes while they cool, whatever, I grab the salsa container out of the fridge, I take the bowl into the studio so I can watch YouTube while I enjoy my chips, I plop down, Turn on the you tube I open the salsa container— And it's empty. There's no more salsa. I put the container in the fridge empty. Silly me. “You're a comedian, comedy things happen to you.” Suddenly, as I looked up from my makeshift workspace, where I had been toiling away for hours at seemingly nothing—I realized the world was full of everything I'd ever wanted to fuck; something primal and ancient had been awakening within me and I was left in a dangerous volitile position, drifting somewhere between reckless promiscuity in a sexual escapade—and the pseudo-conservative now-only partially celibate maiden form of fantasy—there wasn't anything I could do but wait inside my tragic box for some unassuming old soul to finally open the gate—and allow whatever devious and fiending hedonistic godbeing —though never fully lying dormant, entrapped and imprisoned in a loveless and sexless prison. You might recognize me. You Know, I was one of the original Kings of comedy. If I put my heart inside a box; Maybe I'd forget how cold it was Or how far you are Or how much it hurts There's no harm in God, If there ever was one Then, reality sets in: God was my only friend No armor on, I'm at the end Or a long, long walk I'm off again And on again Nothing's impossible— stop at the alter and scoff a bit I left my coat on, I left my heart on the rooftop, A sacrifice, love At the alter, I wonder a song, Or a sonnet A song, No, what's wrong? Something off a bit God, I woke up in a coffin once Isn't that awful The rest or the song wrote itself, At the alter No, I can't stop and talk Got to get off, Cause I've never been on I've never belonged in the world I'm breaking down, jim boy Don't you know? That this show blows my mind But it's stuck in my head Don't you know That this show Blows my mind Like a firework But it's still Stuck in my Head The context is that I want you From the mustache Down to your tonsils But I'm Locke inside of a box Every day I feel poorer and poorer The product says something is wrong to me I'm supposed to just stop at the stop sign And look both directions Before crossing over to Comic nights At the salad bar What a cosmic waste of time And an epic waste of space Am I in your internet history I'm dead You surely are in mine, But I'm right behind you I'd be lying for trying to say I'm not binded Clutch bag, Nut-thins Nailed to the cross With the arches doubled over The crossword Above old Missouri Missoula and Arkansas All saw us run out of gas But I probably should just get going You're so drunk that I don't hope you sober up Understand that our little talks Were just buffered By sunrise Or sunset And two more cocktails, Shirley temples and Surely none of this ever even happened I only know you by the misery in my belly. The heartache in my ribcage. The cry I hold in silent I only know you as Remarkable I, House of cards Ace of wands Down to one Card of hades and Spare me the spade I'll be drifting in the outline and ink of it forever It's the Fourth of July and I'm just waiting on an Amazon order for water If that's not freedom I don't k me what is The elevator music Of my ascension The attitude of attraction, Gratitude, it's so unusual Fight to lose, In a room full of fools; The fuse, and the matchbox— Futile—amusing— Tunes from a hatchback Keys in the lockbox What you want, From the problem solver? That's enough; Now she's out of the box In just socks, And they laugh at her— But also wonder Where her shoes might have gone to There's a lot of ways to get out of a big black duffel bag, You just have to ask, actually But there's only one To get out of the coffin, Or “Box” as they called it, That she was locked up in Futile—amusing— Tunes from a hatchback Keys in the lockbox What you want, From the problem solver? That's enough; Now she's out of the box In just socks, And they laugh at her— But also wonder Where her shoes might have gone to {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project™ ] {Enter The Multiverse} L E G E N D S: ICONS Tales of A Superstar DJ The Secret Life of Sunnï Blū Ascension Deathwish -Ū. Copyright © The Festival Project, Inc. ™ | Copyright The Complex Collective © 2019-2025 ™ All Rights Reserved. -Ū.

Rob Lowe: True, or False? What's the question? You have access to a hidden realm and/or an open portal. And/ Or? True or False, Rob Lowe. And, or “or”? Distinctively either, actually. ___ Oh, fuck, oh fuck–fuck! You look lost. Look less lost. How am I supposed to know how I look? Look in a mirror. I was told not to do that. No, you should do that. But what if I backshift. You won't backshift, it's impossible. Oh, FUCK. FUCK. Dude, what happened! I backshifted! I told you! Who did you tell? That wasn't me. What! Where did you go? I don't know, I – look, Oh shit. that is so dangerous. Shut up. Other people are trying to get through this portal. That's fucked up. Total mistake. You should close it. NO can do. What. Listen, it's–disgusting, really, I should never admit this but– Don't tell me. You're right. I opened this portal under contractual obligation. You what. No. I know. Listen–I wish I hadn't, but– “but” It really did sweeten the deal. What deal. …”the” deal, alright. No, not alright, Rob Lowe. You listen to me! I'm listening. Barely, but– With whom exactly did you make this “contract” with, exactly? Oh, you know. No, I don't know, which is why I'ma asking. True or false? You get one. I told you, now that's done! You know the rules. No. Not true or false. No… Truth…or DARE. Are you kidding me? Does this seem like a joke, to you? A long running one, sort of! In fact, it was a long running joke– and I was the butt of it. Or the head. Or both. Maybe I was the whole pinata…but that's another entire story…sort of. Listen to me. No, you listen to ME. Okay, I'm listening. Someone up the ladder knew I was writing this–what seemed like complete nonsense, but after years of curation, actually turned out to be… A movie script! A movie?! What kind of movie?! Actually, it looks like… several… Several what? Several manuscripts, some sort of… Some sort of what? Oh my gosh…I…you know what? What? Let me see. I shouldn't be…I shouldn't be reading this. Why, what happened? No… Let me see. It all somehow started to make sense… Rob Lowe and his impeccable professionalism, The books i'd found in the Little Free Library–that lady on the train writing a five-season television series… and most importantly, all the weird shit that happened in the DJ world before my, well… Blū, what are you doing? I don't know yet. Imminent collapse. Little by little, all of the things started adding up–but there still was no definitive answer. Not at all. True or False: Oh, boy, here we go. Once inducted into this secret union, one who is asked True or False must answer so truthfully to anything they are asked to follow–however, the limit to such a question is one. You know the rules. So this better be good. Oh trust me. It is. Why would I ever trust you? Trust me, then. Either of you?! Good point. What's the question? {Enter The Multiverse} OPRAH and GAYLE are eating a lustrous supper over an episode of their newest favorite, most bingable series, {Enter The Multiverse} when OPRAH receives an anonymous call. GAYLE leans in over the smart receiver and observes the incoming call; in anticipation of the series premiere, the ringer is silenced, but the notification appears in a flurry of flashing lights and a calm, vibrational tone. GAYLE KING Hm. OPRAH WINFREY What's that? GAYLE KING Someone's calling. OPRAH WINFREY Who? (Ah-ha) GAYLE KING Unlisted. OPRAH and GAYLE look at one another suspiciously. OPRAH. The audacity. NO ONE–and that is, very seriously NOBODY, calls OPRAH WINFREY anonymously. GAYLE KING Indeed. The receiver continues to flash and vibrate; seemingly odd enough, a storm of thunder and lightning appears to have begun outside; OPRAH'S insanely large panoramic windows begin to pitter patter as the lightning seems to nearly syncronize with the flashing of the receiver. GAYLE KING (CONT'D) Answer it? OPRAH …might as well. GAYLE (biting into her dinner, but answering telepathically) Should be interesting… ENTER THE MULTIVERSE cannot be paused; it is live broadcasted and transmitted from an unknown extra terrestrial satellite signal in the great and ever-expanding cosmos in an unknown realm. Because of this, its availability has been limited to only the wealthy elite, the higher ranks of the entertainment community, extra terrestrial colonies far and wide, and most recently, the global governments on earth as they attempt to track down the origin of this mysterious signal in deep space. ok. OPRAH answers. HELLO? As she accepts the call, the screen becomes available to see with whom she is sharing this conversation, however, bizarrely enough–the very scene plastered onto the giant screen is her very own setting in real time–OPRAH has ENTERED THE MULTIVERSE. GAYLE See. {ENTER THE MULTIVERSE: L E G E N D S} THE ICONS: PART I Oh Jesus. Yeah, we're gonna need all the help we can get. BUTTERS (RYAN REYNOLDS) is not okay. OH JESUS. Lil bitz One day, after therapy, i'm goingto make the best girlfriend ever, You want to cheat? Cheat. Just dont hit me. You love drinking? Drink your face off. Just leave mine alone. Do whatever you want actually– excluding physical assault. I swear, i dont care! I wont argue. Just leave me my teeth Rob Lowe: True, or False? What's the question? You have access to a hidden realm and/or an open portal. And/ Or? True or False, Rob Lowe. And, or “or”? Distinctively either, actually. ___ Oh, fuck, oh fuck–fuck! You look lost. Look less lost. How am I supposed to know how I look? Look in a mirror. I was told not to do that. No, you should do that. But what if I backshift. You won't backshift, it's impossible. Oh, FUCK. FUCK. Dude, what happened! I backshifted! I told you! Who did you tell? That wasn't me. What! Where did you go? I don't know, I – look, Oh shit. that is so dangerous. Shut up. Other people are trying to get through this portal. That's fucked up. Total mistake. You should close it. NO can do. What. Listen, it's–disgusting, really, I should never admit this but– Don't tell me. You're right. I opened this portal under contractual obligation. You what. No. I know. Listen–I wish I hadn't, but– “but” It really did sweeten the deal. What deal. …”the” deal, alright. No, not alright, Rob Lowe. You listen to me! I'm listening. Barely, but– With whom exactly did you make this “contract” with, exactly? Oh, you know. No, I don't know, which is why I'ma asking. True or false? You get one. I told you, now that's done! You know the rules. No. Not true or false. No… Truth…or DARE. Are you kidding me? Does this seem like a joke, to you? A long running one, sort of! In fact, it was a long running joke– and I was the butt of it. Or the head. Or both. Maybe I was the whole pinata…but that's another entire story…sort of. Listen to me. No, you listen to ME. Okay, I'm listening. Someone up the ladder knew I was writing this–what seemed like complete nonsense, but after years of curation, actually turned out to be… A movie script! A movie?! What kind of movie?! Actually, it looks like… several… Several what? Several manuscripts, some sort of… Some sort of what? Oh my gosh…I…you know what? What? Let me see. I shouldn't be…I shouldn't be reading this. Why, what happened? No… Let me see. It all somehow started to make sense… Rob Lowe and his impeccable professionalism, The books i'd found in the Little Free Library–that lady on the train writing a five-season television series… and most importantly, all the weird shit that happened in the DJ world before my, well… Blū, what are you doing? I don't know yet. Imminent collapse. Little by little, all of the things started adding up–but there still was no definitive answer. Not at all. True or False: Oh, boy, here we go. Once inducted into this secret union, one who is asked True or False must answer so truthfully to anything they are asked to follow–however, the limit to such a question is one. You know the rules. So this better be good. Oh trust me. It is. Why would I ever trust you? Trust me, then. Either of you?! Good point. What's the question? {Enter The Multiverse} OPRAH and GAYLE are eating a lustrous supper over an episode of their newest favorite, most bingable series, {Enter The Multiverse} when OPRAH receives an anonymous call. GAYLE leans in over the smart receiver and observes the incoming call; in anticipation of the series premiere, the ringer is silenced, but the notification appears in a flurry of flashing lights and a calm, vibrational tone. GAYLE KING Hm. OPRAH WINFREY What's that? GAYLE KING Someone's calling. OPRAH WINFREY Who? (Ah-ha) GAYLE KING Unlisted. OPRAH and GAYLE look at one another suspiciously. OPRAH. The audacity. NO ONE–and that is, very seriously NOBODY, calls OPRAH WINFREY anonymously. GAYLE KING Indeed. The receiver continues to flash and vibrate; seemingly odd enough, a storm of thunder and lightning appears to have begun outside; OPRAH'S insanely large panoramic windows begin to pitter patter as the lightning seems to nearly syncronize with the flashing of the receiver. GAYLE KING (CONT'D) Answer it? OPRAH …might as well. GAYLE (biting into her dinner, but answering telepathically) Should be interesting… ENTER THE MULTIVERSE cannot be paused; it is live broadcasted and transmitted from an unknown extra terrestrial satellite signal in the great and ever-expanding cosmos in an unknown realm. Because of this, its availability has been limited to only the wealthy elite, the higher ranks of the entertainment community, extra terrestrial colonies far and wide, and most recently, the global governments on earth as they attempt to track down the origin of this mysterious signal in deep space. ok. OPRAH answers. HELLO? As she accepts the call, the screen becomes available to see with whom she is sharing this conversation, however, bizarrely enough–the very scene plastered onto the giant screen is her very own setting in real time–OPRAH has ENTERED THE MULTIVERSE. GAYLE See. {ENTER THE MULTIVERSE: L E G E N D S} THE ICONS: PART I Oh Jesus. Yeah, we're gonna need all the help we can get. BUTTERS (RYAN REYNOLDS) is not okay. OH JESUS. Lil bitz One day, after therapy, i'm goingto make the best girlfriend ever, You want to cheat? Cheat. Just dont hit me. You love drinking? Drink your face off. Just leave mine alone. Do whatever you want actually– excluding physical assault. I swear, i dont care! I wont argue. Just leave me my teeth Do you think it will work? I don't know, Conan, I don't know! Conan O'Brien?! Where did you find Conan O'Brien on such short notice? It was actually pretty easy. I don't think that's real thunder but i'm impressed with the teatrical… Is that not real lightning? It is, but. That's it. Conan, hold this. What. CONAN O'BRIEN is STRUCK by LIGHTENING. It's a-half-past eternity–where the fuck are you? The daunting this was, I hadn't any idea at all how much time had passed… Not really. I'm coming…i'm running late. Tell me about it? Under the circumstances, there really are no straightforward conversions of time between your world and mine–or, our worlds and yours. You mean. How much time you got? Forever. It would take forever and a day to show you even just the slightest of mine, and what I have to offer. But… But what… I should go… Well, go then. …but… The doors are open. This is heavy. The thing is, in navigating between this realm and that, many are lost–and also, many wonder as to what becomes of times past, and all in all, unnoticed, many things are not at all, or never were–or…never again. ANDRE 3000 I know it's coming… ANDRE 3000 slides smoothly, leaning back until the grand piano on his back stands on its own legs on the crystalline floor of the clouded paradox; a glistening void in the kingdom of the unknown, where much time is spend, in the journey of pondering. Now he is laying down on the piano and flat on his back, horizontal to the golden glow of the purplish horizon in this place, seeping into a quiet unknown, waiting– ANDRE 3000 …and here I will wait. Man, this show is so weird. I know, you would think i'm on drugs. I wish. WISH? Oh God, here comes this guy again. Whose this guy? I don't know! He grants my wishes! I'm a–fairy–I think. Right. Whatever. Ooh. Wait. Is this for me? I can't memorize all these things. Playing all these characters. That's – seriously? Seriously. Stop caving. I'm caving. You are–quite possibly the only anybody, who can play this part at all. “The Only Anybody” Nobody was someone indeed But still noone, nobody at all, in fact Until… You sold your soul to the devil! …so? *gasp* Hey. What gives. True–or False. Huh. That's funny. No one's ever asked me. How come? [beat] I'm assuming like, they wouldn't want the answer. (shrugs nonchalantly) Wow. That's… You're using my own time travel theory–against me! Technically it was proven through experimentation and is now– a law. FUCK. Uh. You're welcome! You're ruining my life! No, i'm fixing it. INCORRECT. You know i can barely breathe in here… And why is it that we would happen me to connected, commander?! Interlogues, and interlogues of space, my captain– I promorged bodies and bodies over your arrival, imdending my great death, For mere mortals to come! For sport? “For sport!” heaven's gates! You seem aroused… Ar least have mercy on these gracious keepsakes. I keep praying for these aches to pass and subside–days, weeks, months even I can barely open my eyes… This is no fortunate thought. I beg mercy. {ENTER THE MULTIVERSE} THE LIBRARY (working title) CAST: THE COMMISSIONER - Adam Sandler THE GENERAL- JIMMY KIMMEL THE CONSTABLE - KATT WILLIAMS THE ADMIRAL- JIMMY FALLON PEONY - CONAN O'BRIEN SUPPORTING {ENTER THE MULTIVERSE} INTERLUDES - WHOOPI GOLDBERG “Interludes and Expressions” Oh, so there are women? Eventually. But also– Not quite. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project™ ] {Enter The Multiverse} L E G E N D S: ICONS Tales of A Superstar DJ The Secret Life of Sunnï Blū Ascension Deathwish -Ū. Copyright © The Festival Project, Inc. ™ | Copyright The Complex Collective © 2019-2025 ™ All Rights Reserved. -Ū.

Donald Trump's bill, we won't be calling it beautiful, which takes from the poor and gives to the rich has passed into law. What's in it and how easily did it get through Congress? Dr Colin Provost is an associate professor of public policy at University College London and joins the panel to get into it. Plus, Palestine Action has been proscribed as a terrorist organisation by the UK government. Has this gone too far and what does this say about our right to protest in the UK, if anything? And in the Extra Bit FOR EVERYONE this week, is Angela Rayner's Employment Rights Bill an attack on banter?  Sign up to our Patreon to get the Extra Bit exclusively for subscribers every week! Escape Routes:  • Colin recently read Careless People: A Story of Where I Used to Work  • Zoe recently watched America's Sweethearts: Dallas Cowboy's Cheerleaders on Netflix  • Ros watched Saltburn now it's on iPlayer  • Dorian has been watching Such Brave Girls Follow us on BlueSky: https://bsky.app/profile/ohgodwhatnow.bsky.social  Presented by Dorian Lynskey with Ros Taylor and Zoë Grünewald. Audio Production by: Tom Taylor. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. OH GOD, WHAT NOW? is a Podmasters production. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Are you watching this on Spotify? If not, enjoy this in video form NOW ON SPOTIFY! THEORY SABERS - https://www.theorysabers.com/ MERCH - https://www.swtheorymerch.com/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week Diana welcomes back Dana Diaz, a bestselling author, to discuss her new book 'Choking on Shame.' Dana shares her personal journey of enduring narcissistic abuse from childhood into her adulthood and offers insights on how she managed to move forward. She talks about her first book, 'Gasping for Air,' and introduces her upcoming works. Dana emphasizes the importance of faith and resilience, providing hope and understanding to fellow victims of abuse. Listeners will gain valuable perspectives on the complexities of overcoming trauma and finding one's true purpose. 00:00 Sponsor Message: 7 5 3 Academy 00:48 Introduction to the Podcast 01:21 Welcoming Back Dana Diaz 02:24 Dana Diaz's New Book: Choking on Shame 05:34 Dana's Journey Through Abuse 08:31 Finding Faith and Purpose 12:25 Overcoming Childhood Trauma 18:40 Reflections on Narcissistic Relationships 28:18 Conclusion and Next Episode Teaser About Dana S. Diaz Dana S. Diaz is a wife, mother, and author of the best-selling book GASPING FOR AIR: THE STRANGLEHOLD OF NARCISSISTIC ABUSE. In addition to her life-long experience with narcissistic abuse, Dana's education in journalism and psychology at DePaul University in Chicago gave her the ability to accurately verbalize and express how narcissistic abuse creates confusion and conflict within victims, so that she can help other victims know they are not alone and better understand their own circumstances. Today, Dana is a proud voice for fellow victims who are unable, afraid, or ashamed to share their experiences. She has been a guest on nearly two hundred podcasts globally, striving to create awareness and understanding to ensure victims are given the support they need to first understand their situation and then begin the healing process. She has also been a featured speaker in two Summits for healing after trauma. Her first book, chronicling her own abusive marriage that lasted nearly three decades, started as a journal that she hid under the couch cushion in the basement. Dana's second book, CHOKING ON SHAME: THE SCAPEGOAT CHILD IN A NARCISSISTIC FAMILY, was a #1 New Release on Amazon after its mid-September release. The book delves into Dana's life as an unwanted pregnancy and child, and the physical and verbal abuse she endured as a result. The final book in the narcissist trilogy, SWALLOWING MY PRIDE, is expected to be released in early 2025. This sequel to GFA brings the first two books full circle with recovery, healing, new love, and another narcissist Dana hadn't seen coming. Learn more about Dana, her book, CHOKING ON SHAME, available at https://www.danasdiaz.com as of September 9th.    Website: https://dswministries.org Email: diana@dswministries.org Subscribe to the podcast: https://dswministries.org/subscribe-to-podcast/ Social media links: Join our Private Wounds of the Faithful FB Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1603903730020136 Twitter: https://twitter.com/DswMinistries YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxgIpWVQCmjqog0PMK4khDw/playlists Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dswministries/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DSW-Ministries-230135337033879 Keep in touch with me! Email subscribe to get my handpicked list of the best resources for abuse survivors! https://thoughtful-composer-4268.ck.page #abuse #trauma Affiliate links: Our Sponsor: 753 Academy: https://www.753academy.com/ Can't travel to The Holy Land right now? The next best thing is Walking The Bible Lands! Get a free video sample of the Bible lands here! https://www.walkingthebiblelands.com/a/18410/hN8u6LQP An easy way to help my ministry: https://dswministries.org/product/buy-me-a-cup-of-tea/ A donation link: https://dswministries.org/donate/   Dana Diaz [00:00:00] I do have a sponsor 7 5 3 Academy. Our martial art program specialized in anti-bullying programs for kids to combat proven Filipino martial arts. Colli. We take a holistic, fun, and innovative approach that simply works. Our fitness community is friendly and supportive without the over the top muscle gym atmosphere. Our coaching staff are professionally trained with over 30 years of experience. Get started by claiming your free class voucher. So go to the link in the show notes. This is in the Phoenix Metro area, so reach out to Coach David and coach Eric over at 7 5 3 Academy. Welcome to the Wounds of the Faithful Podcast, brought to you by DSW Ministries. Your host is singer songwriter, speaker and domestic [00:01:00] violence advocate, Diana. She is passionate about helping survivors in the church heal from domestic violence and abuse and trauma. This podcast is not a substitute for professional counseling or qualified medical help. Now here is Diana. Hello everyone. Welcome. Come on in. Glad to have you here for the regular listeners as well as some new folks coming in. We have a terrific show for you today, as always. We have a repeat guest today. Dana Diaz is on the show. She was here in season three, episode 1 53, talking about having a relationship with a narcissist, [00:02:00] which many of us have experienced. So if you haven't. Watch that episode. I really encourage you to go back and listen to it. It's excellent. The first time she was here. She was talking about her book, Gasping for Air, which is her story of, narcissistic abuse. And this time she's coming on because she just released a new book called Choking on Shame. Boy, what a title. Have you dealt with shame like the rest of us? Um, yeah, that's a great verb to use, a description to use choking. So I'm very intrigued about hearing about her second book since her first book was excellent. Okay, so here is her book. Very [00:03:00] engaging cover, a stranglehold of narcissistic abuse. Again, very descriptive, great title. This book is thick. it's very well written. Some parts are very tough to read, as you would imagine, just like. Maybe your story is hard. Your story has some hard sections in it. But before I bring her on the show, I'm gonna just briefly, read her bio again. For those that are new and haven't, met Dana. Dana Diaz is a wife, mother, and author of the bestselling book, Gasping for Air, the Stranglehold of Narcissistic Abuse. Dana has had lifelong experience with narcissistic abuse beginning in childhood. Her education in journalism and [00:04:00] psychology at DePaul University in Chicago gave her the ability to accurately verbalize and express how narcissistic abuse creates confusion and conflict within victims so that she can help other victims know that they are not alone and better understand their own circumstances. Today Dana is a proud voice for fellow victims who are unable, afraid, or ashamed to share their experiences. She strives to create awareness and understanding to ensure victims are given the support they need to first understand their situation and then begin the healing process. Her first book, chronicling her own abusive marriage that lasted nearly three decades, started as a journal. She hid [00:05:00] under the couch cushion in the basement. Dana is in the process of publishing the prequel and sequel to Gasping for Air. Learn more about Dana at www.danasdiaz.com. So I know that you're going to enjoy this interview, as much as the first one. So here we go with my second conversation with Dana Diaz. Enjoy. I am so excited to have back on the show, my friend Dan Diaz. Thank you for coming on the show again. Oh, I'm so happy I'm back. I just am delighted whenever somebody invites me back on a podcast because there's so many, as we were just talking about, there's so many things, layers to abuse and the things we endure. Um, so there's so much to talk about that's hard to cram into a [00:06:00] half hour or an hour show. So thank you for inviting me back. I appreciate it. Yeah. Well, I like having repeat guests because I already like you. I already know you and you have more to share with us with your new books. And so I'm real excited to hear what you have to say to the folks. I did give, a little bio before you came on, but if you could do like a synopsis, a summary of your abuse story, just as a reminder of what you've gone through so far. Yeah, absolutely. I'm 49 years old, so it's been a ride. But my first book actually covered my 25 year relationship and first marriage, to an abusive narcissist. And I know we use this word narcissist very freely in society, but what I'm talking about is somebody that is so, intent on fulfilling their [00:07:00] egotistical need for power and control, that they will go to the extent of, domestic violence and things like that, various abuses, to feel that, to fulfill that ego of theirs. And so, that covered that. But then after that book came out, the only book I ever meant, to put out. So many people had questions about, well, how does somebody end up in a relationship like that? And my immediate answer was, well, that was my childhood because I was born to a teenage mother who didn't want me. And she, in fact, she had her tubes tied immediately after my birth, and I was born on her 17th birthday. They apparently did that in the seventies. But, then she got married to a man who was not my father and who wanted me even less because I was not his biological child. And so I endured physical and verbal abuse and emotional neglect and, had a pretty hard time trying to figure out my place in the world, especially when I'd go to school thinking, okay, I'm okay [00:08:00] here. I'm safe here. And then I get bullied everywhere I turn, I'm facing adversity and opposition and being put in situations where I'm not good enough and I'm not this and I'm not that. And so what am I, what am I. But then we kind of answer that question in the third book, released March 31st. And that one is called Rising from the Ashes. Breaking the Cycle of Narcissistic Abuse. Yes, rising out of it. But, you know, it's sad that it took me till my late forties to really understand, and I think more so internalize and change my mindset about who I am and where my place really is in this world. Because when you're abused, I think anybody who is listening, who you know, has had that experience, it's part of your soul, feels like it's taken away. [00:09:00] Your independence, your autonomy, I love this. I have this scene in my third book, which. I'm crying, I'm upset because I'm like, I have no contact with my abusive mother and stepfather. I have ended my, relationship, divorced my ex-husband who is abusive. I should be happy. Things are going great. Marrying a man that I've known his family 20 years and he's the sweetest, gentlest, most patient person I've ever met in my life. And so what I really needed, but it was like I still wasn't happy. I was still suffering. I was in still so much pain, but there was no external outward reason for it. I had so many blessings all around me but I couldn't see it because I was still holding on to that victim mindset, that pain. And my priest looked me in my eye and he says, my dear. The problem is, is you are still thinking like you're [00:10:00] the daughter of a mother who rejected you, but you're not. He said, you're here because God intended for you to be here. She may not have wanted you, but he wanted you. Here you are God's child. You're not your mother's child. You're God's child. And that's when literally everything turned around for me. Everything turned around. Mm. And, just made me rethink my place in this world that I was like, that's right. He wouldn't have protected me and had his hand over me through that entire childhood, which I cover in the second book. He wouldn't have protected me from, an ex-husband who was planning to, not have me exist. He wouldn't have done all those things if I wasn't meant to be here to serve his purpose. I'll never forget the morning that I was just coming out of that first marriage and it literally just came into my head. You should write a book about your experiences. And I'd [00:11:00] never understood what it meant when God spoke to you or put something on your heart. But I literally remember like kind of glancing up like. Is that you? It's kind of like that old book. Are you there? God, it's me, Margaret. Like, I'm like, is that you book? Oh God. I know, right? We all have that as a staple in grade school, but that was like the same kind of thing. I'm like, looking up, are you there? God, it's me. Like, were you actually did, was that for me? Like did you, were you talking to me? But I heard it. I heard it loud and clear and that's what I did and it's amazing, as I said that I only ever meant to write the one book and then it led to the second one and now it's. Led to people wanting more. And even now people are like, what about a fourth book? I'm like, the third one isn't even out yet. But now I'm like, actually there is a fourth book in me , and half written already, ironically, because there are so many stories that are pulled out to keep these books. I mean, I know they're thick, but they're pretty quick reads. But, it's been a heck of a ride. But again, I go back to the faith and I think that [00:12:00] as much as people say stay away from religion, politics, when it comes to God, we are all here because we are his children. And once, like I said, I, I got that and somebody said that to me. I'm like, everything changed. Everything changed. It's like I woke up, like my eyes opened up and I said, oh my gosh, I am here. And let me tell you a quick story. And I might have told this on the first podcast, but. During my childhood, and I covered this in my second book, which is called Choking on Shame, the Scapegoat Child in a Narcissistic Family. When you're being raised by two narcissists, it's difficult because I was that kid that always wanted to achieve more, more, doing everything right. I was the best at everything. Honor roll. I taught myself to play piano. I was first chair viola in two orchestras, and like whatever it was, I wanted to do things that would make my parents proud. But it was never enough. It was never enough because I couldn't [00:13:00] be any more than what they wanted me to be, which was nothing, right? So that they could feel better about the way they were treating me. But the irony is, is that as I was going through high school, I really wanted to go to beauty school. I so desperately wanted to do like makeup and facials and stuff. I was really interested in that and, nope. Again, narcissists. They can't brag about a daughter going to beauty school when cousin Joey's going to study engineering and that one's going to study physical therapy or become a doctor. It wasn't brag worthy. Mm-hmm. So they said, you have to go to college. And I'm like, what am I gonna do in college? I mean, yeah, I got good grades, but I didn't wanna go to college. I wanted to go to beauty school. Well, guess what? I went to college. I ended up going to DePaul University in Chicago. Good Catholic girl. Stayed with my faith. I loved the experience, honestly, and I'm glad I did it. But, uh, there's no classes on beauty over there or fashion or [00:14:00] anything unless you wanna be a fashion designer. And I didn't wanna do that. Mm-hmm. But I definitely studied psychology because I knew that I wanted to be in a better mindset myself, even that young. But the funny thing was that all my professors pushed me more towards public speaking and writing. So I went into the journalism program, came out of there. That's about when I met my ex-husband, and again, another narcissist. He would not support me in any efforts to become a journalist or, or work in any kind of media, even, you know, small town, little cable media, because joy, success, achievement, that would outshine anything that he could possibly, or that he thought he could, achieve himself. So he had me cleaning houses, in this podunk town that he moved us to in the Midwest. And um, that was fine. I was one, I've always been one of those people, like, if I'm gonna do something, I'm just gonna do it. Give [00:15:00] 200%. I was reliable. I was trustworthy. I ended up building a six figure empire with this cleaning business and had a crew of eight people. But where I'm going with all this is that, so when I get this idea after that divorce, that I should write this book, it was interesting because I looked back and I thought, talk about coming full circle here. I was in this abusive childhood. I remember 12 years old was the first time I actually thought like I would never want anybody else to endure what I have. And I know I have not even had the most horrific childhood. Other people, most certainly have endured worse, but I knew I wanted to help children that were victims of child abuse so that they could live better lives as adults, and not be stuck in that situation or repeat those cycles with their children. So here I was [00:16:00] 45 years old, have endured this childhood, have endured this abuse, get this idea to write a book, and then I'm like, oh, so this is why you did this to me. God, this is why I couldn't go to beauty school. I had to endure all this stuff, and then you made me go to college. Or you at least put me with two parents who absolutely would not hear anything other than me going to college. I end up in the journalism program. Now I have a degree in journalism that I've never used, but now I've had all these experiences that I can actually verbalize. Help victims of abuse. Mm-hmm. It was like one of those epiphanies where like you're like, oh, that's why you did this all. Like, but we don't see it when we're going through things. We can't see the light at the end. We can't see that there is reason we get, we kind of drown ourselves in the sorrow and the self pity. And it's not to say the things that I endured weren't worthy of, that they were, [00:17:00] you know, awful. Other people have had more awful circumstances, but I think that's the thing that you have to come to at the end of it is to trust. You have to trust God. He's not putting you through anything because I mean, there were times where I'm like, what did I do? What did I do? Like I'm a good girl. Like I haven't, I've made mistakes. We all do. But like, what have I done that was so bad that I deserve this? And I think so many people fall into that and then they start shaming themselves, blaming themselves, blaming God sometimes turning away from him. And for me, it was just, it. He was ever present. There would be people that would come into my life at certain points, whether momentarily or for, some amount of time that would sort of kind of like, like a shepherd kind of herd me back, like into God's light. And so it was like, I couldn't see it until I was there, until the last few years where I'm like, oh, okay, God, I see this now. But maybe some of us aren't meant to understand or [00:18:00] even know. Why and what and all this. But we have to trust, we have to trust that even the bad stuff is meant for us. And it's meant for a specific reason and it's meant for our specific, unique purpose in this world and in this life. And so hopefully that gives other, somebody some hope that no matter what their circumstance, there's a reason for it. And it might not even be for you, it might be for somebody else's benefit or for them to learn a lesson. I mean, we, there we're all so interconnected, but we all are a source from God. Hmm. I totally agree with that. Agree. I know you kind of, glossed over your, ex-husband and the suffering you went through with him in gasping for air. I remember that story. Yeah. Of you were asleep in your house. With your son, and you heard somebody unlocking the door downstairs and [00:19:00] it was your ex-husband just barging in, in the middle, middle of the night, was barging in and took your son and you're wrestling with him downstairs trying to keep him, literally from taking him away from you. And we talked about this before the podcast about the language in your book. The words that he would call you in front of your son and trying to sneak into your house in the middle of the night. That's a monster. That is a monster, yeah. That you were married to. And that must have been really terrifying. How do you move forward from that? That's why I wrote the second book, because I came out of this childhood basically being conditioned to think that I had to earn love, that I wasn't inherently worthy of it. And it's hard to even love yourself when you think you have to earn love or that, you know, even as a kid, and certainly as an adult, I'd look around , I notice [00:20:00] other families and how they operate. Or when I was playing at a little friend's house or having dinner at somebody's house as an adult, like everybody's mother loves them. Every family has dysfunction. But it's family. You stick together and a mother loves all her children, or at least she's supposed to. But I think that's the part that I wrestled with the most was that my mother did not, I mean, she did not want me before I was born. She did not endear herself after, to me after I was born. In fact, after I was born, um, my grandma and I were just talking about this recently that, my grandma and great grandmama came to the hospital and my mother had no intention of bringing me home. She was gonna adopt me out or leave me there, whatever. And my grandma said, oh, no, this is our first grandchild, our first great-grandchild. No, no, we are taking her home. And my grandma said she paid the bill and my grandma took me home with her, and that's who I was with. But at the point where my mother got [00:21:00] married, or, moved in, I should say, before she got married to her husband, who she is still married to after almost 40 years. Um, well, no, it's been just over 40 years actually. But, somebody thought it was a good idea for me to go and live with them because, it's kind of interesting looking at my mother's situation. You know, her family came from Puerto Rico, both of her parents, and they lived in Chicago. They had everything they needed, but certainly weren't living the life that she thought she should have. And she was a very, oh, just a stunning, stunning young woman. Um, and I think she knew it and she knew that she could have a better life without having to necessarily, go the route that a lot of people would. And I'm trying to be very careful how I word that, as you can see, because I don't wanna judge her. That's a whole other thing that I deal with in the third book is my relationship and my feelings about her. But the childhood [00:22:00] being raised by somebody like that who's telling me, oh no, we're gonna wear gap clothes now. We're gonna talk like this. Now we're gonna straighten our hair now. Nobody needs to know where Hispanic, nobody needs to know. He's not your real father. Putting on this facade and basically being told as a small child as early as five years old, I remember being told to lie to people. So I just didn't say anything. 'cause I couldn't keep my mother's story straight. I'm not even sure she could keep her story straight because she told lies about who we were so often. I, I mean, it literally made my head spin and I started saying to my friends as a little girl and all through adulthood, my mother and her stories. They always had a story for everything. And I think that's what I know readers have expressed when they read that book, choking on Shame is the frustration of what happened versus what was put out. I mean, she is like the media, you know, she's like [00:23:00] a political correspondent that's definitely sided on, one side and it's hers. Um, it was never on mine, and that's hard as a child to understand that your mother does not love you, that you cannot depend on your mother to take care of you emotionally, physically. Nothing. So, yeah, it was basically like serving me straight up to a monster because the opening of gasping for Air, the first chapter is when he literally walked into my place of work the first time I met him. And I remember very clearly thinking of the robot had lost in space with the coily arms danger, danger. Like he, he came off arrogant and smug and like he, he had a sense of entitlement and it just, reminded me so much of my stepfather and I thought, oh, I know this personality type. There's no way. But [00:24:00] when you grow up like I did, you're a people pleaser. You, it doesn't matter. It could be the devil himself. You want that person to be pleased with you. You can't deal inside of yourself with the rejection of anybody or anybody's disapproval or disagreement. It's a hard position to be in and something that's very hard to heal from. But that's how I ended up with somebody like that. But we have to remember too, that I always joke with people, I have all these pop culture references, but they're helpful. I always say, it's not like Chucky came into my office with, you know, with a weapon and a striped shirt and disheveled hair and said, Hey, baby, that doesn't do it for me. I don't think anybody would go on a date with Chucky. We have to remember even. Ted Bundy, the serial killer. He was charming and handsome, wasn't he? Mm-hmm. And that's how they lure us in. So even though my initial impression of my ex was [00:25:00] not a good one, I kind of had this hypervigilant detection system. Like, oh no, I know you buddy. You don't even have to say two words. I know who you are. I didn't listen to it because he didn't approve of me. And that, that just trumped everything I had to win his approval. So once I got him to like me a little bit enough to let me in, well then he saw a vulnerable, codependent, people pleasing opportunity to take advantage and take control. And that's exactly what he did. But, but I'm gonna be very clear about this because I'm big on accountability. Sure. Looking back, I mean, it's not my fault that I was raised that way. It's not my fault necessarily that I was vulnerable to a romantic relationship like that. But I do see that, for example, my biological father, who I have a wonderful relationship with, he had two daughters and [00:26:00] like my one sister, the oldest, one of the two, they were raised in a home by two loving parents who wanted them, supported them, encouraged them, took them to church every Sunday. You know what we would think is, uh, I hate to use the word normal, but normal, nice family, right? Oie. Yeah. It would be healthy. She has self-esteem. She knows who she is. She has boundaries. I didn't, I was none of that. So if you would've put her in that same situation I was in with my ex back then, she would not have entertained it in the slightest, right? She would've set that boundary and said, no, thank you. Have a nice day, and that would've been it. Um, me, like I said, just a little bit different. And I think unfortunately, a lot of people that fall into these romantic relationships do have that sense of needing to have the approval and needing to, please other people for whatever reason. And sometimes it's ironically not even a bad childhood. Sometimes [00:27:00] it's this personality that we call the parentified daughter. It could be a daughter of a very nice family, but the oldest daughter who had to help mom with the siblings or it could be the daughter mm-hmm. Of an alcoholic or somebody with a drug dependency who had to be the parent to the parents and to the other children. The parentified daughter that has this intense, uh. She's compelled to nurture and care for and take care of everybody. She subdues her own needs and takes care of everybody. But it's like these narcissistic or abusive people. Um, they can just sense that It's like they can sniff it out because that's exactly what they want you to do. You jump through the hoops and I will give you a treat. I mean, I liken it and gasping for air, oftentimes to being like a dog. I, if I was a good girl, which he actually used that verbiage with me, good girl, good girl all the time. If I said the right thing, good girl. Even [00:28:00] in the bedroom, good girl. It's sad when I look back on what I tolerated, but, um, if I was a good girl, then he treated me okay for a few days. But boy, if he saw that, I said or did something he didn't approve of, well, then I suffered consequences. I think this is a great time to stop our conversation. For now. I definitely wanna hear the rest of what she has to say. She has given us so many gold nuggets today as she has the first time she was on the show, and I really, want to continue the conversation with her a little bit further though. I do encourage you to come back the next time on the wounds of the Faithful podcast. I wish you a great week. God bless you and bye for now. [00:29:00] Thank you for listening to the Wounds of the Faithful Podcast. If this episode has been helpful to you, please hit the subscribe button and tell a friend. You could connect with us at DSW Ministries dot org where you'll find our blog, along with our Facebook, Twitter, and our YouTube channel links. Hope to see you next week.  

I greet you in Jesus' precious name! It is Wednesday morning, the 9th of July, 2025, and this is your friend, Angus Buchan, with a thought for today. We go straight to the Gospel of Luke 11:2-4: “So He said to them, “When you pray, say: Our Father in heaven,Hallowed be Your name.Your kingdom come.Your will be doneOn earth as it is in heaven.Give us day by day our daily bread.And forgive us our sins,For we also forgive everyone who is indebted to us.And do not lead us into temptation,But deliver us from the evil one.”We are talking this morning about the Lord's Prayer because I can hear somebody saying, ”I don't know how to pray.” Well, that's exactly what the disciples said to Jesus, “Lord, teach us how to pray like John taught his disciples.” And the Lord says, ”and this is how you shall pray.” It's not about the eloquence. It's about the heart.I remember when Jill and I first got saved, yes, not far off fifty years now! We were counselled in a counselling room after we'd made our commitment and they said, ”Come back next Wednesday night and we're going to start. We're going to have a Bible study.” We all sat in a circle. I'll never forget it. I was so nervous. The leader, I don't even know who the man was, I can't remember, said, ”We are going to start off by praying. How many of you know how to pray?” And of course, we went very quiet, all of us. There were about twelve of us there and he said, ”I'm going to start on this side and just pray. Now praying is speaking to Jesus, so speak to Jesus.”Well, I want to tell you, I was very nervous and I prayed a prayer, a simple prayer, but there was one man sitting in the circle, his name was John. You could see had been through fire of life and his prayer was, ”Oh God, please help me!” That's all he prayed. I've never forgotten that prayer, from the heart, desperate, calling out to his newly found Saviour, Jesus Christ.Today, just speak to the Lord. That's what prayer is. Tell Him your troubles, tell Him about your successes, tell Him about your ambitions, your visions, your future, and I want to tell you, it becomes a wonderful relationship. As I finish this message, I'm going to get on my bicycle and I'm going to go for a ride and I'm going to speak to Jesus, thank Him for His beautiful creation, the bush around us, the wild birds, the animals. That is what prayer is about and I know, when I come back from my ride, I will be like a new man. Do it today - in fact do it every day!Jesus bless you and have a wonderful day,Goodbye.

 River FantasyVillage reunion turns steamy, fueled by erotic river sighting.by Kuntry yute. Listen to the ► Podcast at Steamy Stories. The rain burst out of nowhere, as it usually does. One minute the afternoon was bright and sunny, then the sun just disappeared behind a big dark cloud and the rain cut loose.No one was in the house but me, with Mama off to see her church sister. The rain was heavy. You could see it in the fat drops and the fast-moving muddy streams that turned the yard into a small riverbed. But the best part for me was the pounding on the zinc roof, as if the rain was playing a whole heap of kettle drums at the same time. The wind picked up at times, lashing the large banana leaves into a crazy dance, like big, awkward hands flapping to the heavy rain drops. I watched and listened, content inside the warm, dry house. It was a good mood, like I could roll with the energy and rhythm and dance to my heart's content, or get a sheet and curl up in the big couch, to just rest or doze off.I had something else in mind though, and the first real buzz of anticipation and excitement coursed through my body, leaving me tingling and warming up all over, especially down in my belly bottom and my nipples. The sensation cooled off a bit as I thought about Mama coming home sooner than expected. She had almost caught me once, and I was saved only by the fact that she had left her keys and had to call me to open the door. She had her keys now, and the rain would mask any sound of her approach.But I wasn't going to be denied. This moment was too good to waste. The living room had a big window that looked out on the yard and provided a full view of anyone approaching, as long as the curtain was not fully drawn. I could enjoy the comfort of the love seat and keep an eye out for Mama; all I needed to do was turn it around to face the yard.I easily flipped the couch around, nervous excitement overtaking my senses and body as I imagined the delights just seconds away. I quickly washed my hands in the bathroom, pulled a couple items from my drawer and hustled back to the living room. I started opening the curtains and recoiled in shock and irritation.Someone – looks like a man - was out there in the rain, splashing up on the verandah and depositing a rickety black umbrella in a corner before knocking on the door. The umbrella was useless, on account of all the water he was busy brushing off his arms and legs. I stashed my items under the couch seat and opened the door, intent on quickly dealing with him and getting to my pleasure.“Hi Cherry” he greeted after a slight pause, surprised uncertainty in his eyes as he brushed a few droplets from his face. I figured he was expecting to see Mama instead of me.“Tony, right?” I responded with a smile.“Yes,” he said, grinning suddenly at me from his rain-wet face.My irritation was dissolving rapidly as I looked him over. I had glimpsed him three nights ago, the first time since he had left for university two years ago. Many people didn't go to university from this village, and people talked about him a lot, including his mother who couldn't stop boasting about her bright son. It was annoying, especially for someone like me that didn't make it to university.I wasn't annoyed now though. He was short and stocky when we were kids. He wasn't tall now, just medium height, about two inches taller than my five foot eight. The stocky look was still there, but more athletic, like he was a sprinter or one of those American football players. As a boy his father used to give him bad haircuts, and it worsened the look of his face which was already ordinary with the flat nose and large, almost bulging eyes. Nobody would call him handsome now, but he had grown up well, sporting a clean shaved head, with eyes that were sharp and intelligent looking, and a face that was strong and hard, like a thick chunk of cured pimento wood.His eyes moved quickly, up and down, just as I had done. But it was open and forward, the type of look that said he was not afraid to show his hand. He wanted me to know he was seeing me as a woman, a woman that grabbed his interest, and he wanted me to react to that interest.I was interested in him for real, no doubt about it. I had felt it when I saw him last Friday, that flash of sexual curiosity, seeing him all sexy and relaxed. He had looked at me quickly, followed by a smile of recognition and a polite greeting. I smiled back, blushing and hoping he hadn't seen the interest in my eyes. Now I grinned to myself, thinking how smooth he was then in the public place, acting all polite and decent, when he was clearly interested and just biding his time.There was a prickling on my skin, leaving goosebumps on my arms and my nipples felt like someone was giving them little electric shocks. My pumpum twitched suddenly with pleasure, a sweet, achy pleasure. I was shocked at the reaction in my body and suddenly my thighs squeezed together, as if to keep the feelings trapped down there and not affecting the rest of me, for fear he could see his effect on me.He was like a godsend, appearing as if by miracle, just when I was in the mood to frig myself with the weather and Mama cooperating so well. But with some effort I reined in the feelings. There was desire in his eyes, but I couldn't assume he was planning to do anything about it right now.“You here to see Mama?” I asked.“Yeah,” he said, after a little hesitation. “My Mama asked me to drop off this partner money, and I couldn't pass up the chance to see you.”“I see you develop some sweet tongue,” I said saucily but I am sure he could tell I was flattered by his words.“Sweet tongue yes, but truth too,” he said boldly, eyes lively with daring.“Well, it's good to see you too,” I said, giving him a little something in return, although I was warming up to him much faster than my words would indicate.He held out his hand, offering an envelope that bulged slightly with the contents.“I'll give it to her,” I said, taking the envelope.He stood there for a moment, eyes thoughtful, looking me over. I watched him, imagining the wheels turning in his head, figuring out how he should proceed. I waited, realizing belatedly with a touch of embarrassment that my lips were parted in anticipation of his next move.“You want to dry those clothes?” I asked suddenly, surprising myself with the question. “Could give you time for the rain to ease off and you can tell me about life in Kingston.”He looked at me sharply, surprise on his face. He looked down at his body with a frown, no doubt seeing and feeling the wetness in his shirt and pants. He looked at me, eyes steady, thinking it over.“Ok,” he said with a shrug and smile. “Do you have something for me to put on or am I supposed to wait naked?”“Not a bad idea,” I laughed back at him, knowing he was seeing the devilry in my eyes. “Don't worry though, I'll get you some of Papa's clothes. He doesn't need them anymore.”I found a clean set of pants and shirt that looked close enough for his size. It was far from perfect though, because he was shorter and more muscular than Papa. The shirt was tight across his chest and arms and the pants were snug in the butt and crotch. He looked funny and sexy at the same time. He went and sat in my couch, making himself comfortable while I draped his wet clothes on the warm grate behind the fridge.We talked for a bit, catching up on each other's life over the past two years. I felt jealous, because he seemed to be doing so much and here I was wasting away in the dead-end village. He surprised me though, by praising what I was doing.“Honey is a big deal,” he said, a little frown on his face. “You just need to scale up and get connected to the right distribution channels.”I didn't go to university, but I was always learning shit from free college courses and podcasts when the internet complied, so I knew what he was talking about.“Scale up needs money and time, and that's time I have to put in my regular job.”“Let me think about it,” he replied, then leaned back in the couch with a strange smile on his face. “I see you still go to the river?”“What?” I asked, frowning at him. I was perplexed as to why he would ask about the river.“Those days were exciting even with the hard work,” he said with a longing look on his face. “Remember how we all used to play after the wash? Hide and seek, catch crawfish, eat guineps till we couldn't walk properly…”“Oh boy,” I smiled, remembering. “Those were the good old days. Kids nowadays just want to play video games. No love for nature. We don't even wash clothes down there anymore. That life pretty much done.”“Yet you were there yesterday,” he said quietly, his eyes still on my face.“You were at the river?” I asked him, a nervous type of anxiousness spreading slowly through my belly.He nodded silently, watching me. It might not be too bad, I thought to myself. Maybe he saw me going down or coming up, not necessarily in the river itself. But his next words shattered my flimsy hope.“That big pool with the mango tree over it. I was heading for it, but just as I was about to climb down the bank, I saw you. I immediately thought of leaving but I just stood there, as if I had no power to move. I'm sorry for snooping on you but it was as if you hooked me right there, and the more I looked the more you pulled me in.”I was ashamed and angry. In truth I really didn't mind if someone sees me naked if I know and can make the decision for myself. But this was Peeping Tom stuff, him seeing me and copping a look without me knowing.“You were snooping on me?” I snapped at him.“Your fault for bathing out in public,” he said calmly, a little smile dancing across his lips, no doubt enjoying himself.It was true. I knew it could happen but figured and hoped no one would be around. I was dying for a river bath; to have all the water I need to wash freely without thinking about conserving water. At least I didn't bathe fully naked, although the flimsy slip was not much covering, especially when wet.“What was so enticing?” I asked. His reasoning had taken away my excuse for being angry, and I decided to focus on the exciting part of what he had said.“Everything,” he said, a faraway look in his eyes, faraway and happy. “I could just look at you all day, if you were just standing there in that wet slip, sticking to you like a second skin, you all curvy and sweet. But when you start to wash yourself it just make it sweeter.”I am accustomed to men telling me how I look, in explicit terms. This was different. It's amazing how two men could make it clear that they want bed you, and one leaves you disgusted while the other makes you wat to take off your panties right away. Tony was the panty dropping type.He looked me in the eye once more and shuffled around in the couch, trying to make himself more comfortable, maybe because the pants were too tight for him. Without thinking my eyes slipped down to his crotch and they popped in surprise when I saw the clear outline of his hood to one side. I was surprised but the achiness in my pussy ramped up even more as I imagined him without pants.He must have caught my eyes, and I am sure now that I wanted him to see me checking him out like that. His expression changed, his eyes boring into me, so intense that it was like I was not wearing any clothes and he could see all my nakedness and even into my thoughts.it was surprising to me how comfortable and excited I felt, all alone here with him. Somehow, he had put me at ease without trying too hard, just by being himself. It helped a lot that I was already in the mood to play, but he sure revved up my interest.It was strange. He wasn't really my type. He was this nice, book type, not the big-talking rude boys I tend to like, even though they were not the best for me. Tony was different in a good way from way back, and his time in the city sure made him a sexy, confident man.“So what exactly got you so spellbound at the river?” I asked finally.“All of you, but it was a different level of wonder when you started to soap up,” he said, pulling my attention firmly back from my thoughts and squarely on to him. “It was like watching you caressing yourself for my benefit, caressing and massaging, your body wet and covered in soap bubbles. And the way you did it…it was not just a chore, not just cleaning yourself. I could tell you were enjoying it, and that part was a huge turn on too.”“I love taking a bath,” I said, my mind all woozy with the beauty and sexiness of what he was saying. I always love poetry and he was speaking the sweetest, hottest verses to me right now“And I can't forget,” he continued, eyes glazed and slowly licking his lips at the memory. “You squatted down a bit, spreading your legs wide, and the slip ride up, showing off all of them firm, smooth thighs. And then you move that soapy rag up between them. I couldn't see exactly what you were doing, but I could see your hand moving in, way in, then slowly and firmly up and down, soap suds covering all of your hand, your upper thighs and pussy area. You keep washing, up and down, then around in little circles, then in and out. I managed to look at your face a few times, hoping you were not noticing me watching you. But your eyes were closed by then…as if you were in another world. Your body trembled then, vibrating…and when you opened your eyes you looked so blissful…the joy on your face was real as your hand moved under the dress."Afterwards you waded into deeper water and sink down till the water was up to your chest. You bobbed up and down, rinsing off. You weren't wearing any brassiere and your breasts bounced up and down, so round and juicy looking with the wet slip plastered tight on them. I couldn't take my eyes off them. You were smiling at this time, a little smile, but a real smile…and I wonder how good it must feel to get such pleasure from washing your pumpum.”He stopped talking and I realized I was staring at him, my mouth wide open, hardly breathing, legs turning jelly. My body felt hot all over and I knew I was in heat. My pumpum was fluttering, steady and strong, like another heart was down there between my legs. There was a wetness too, warm and sticky, like a raw honey spring was starting to open up inside of me.“It was a good feeling,” I said to him, but decided not to mention that all that trembling and vibrating was me cumming. Maybe he knew and decided not to go there too. “And that's what has you running over here to see me?”“Yeah,” he smiled. “It was the exclamation point. I had seen you a couple days before and was going to check on you, but that just sealed the deal. I knew I had to come and see you”“And I am glad you did. You are just what I need with this rain pouring down out there.”I was shocked at how forward I sounded, but he had me feeling a certain way and I was in no condition to resist him, not that I wanted to at all.“I wished you would say that,” he responded, flexing his strong legs, spreading them wide, causing his cock to shift and stand out even more in the tight pants. He followed my eyes, then looked back at me. “Come over here. I want to feel what it's like to stroke your pussy the way you did.”The rain was still lashing outside as I walked the short distance over to him. I stopped a few inches from him, and he leaned forward, his face in line with my crotch. He looked up at me, eyes locked with mine, a little question in his eyes. I realized he was asking permission, even though I would bet he was picking up my sex scent and knew I was ready for him. I smiled at him and he smiled back, the question disappearing from his face.He was the man now, eyes heavy with desire and a lot of good, healthy lust. His wide nostrils opened up, like a jack donkey scenting the ginnie in heat. His tongue was out, slowly moistening the thick lips, moving slowly back and forth.His hands went around my waist and down to my ass, his fingers strong and possessive, gently squeezing my big, soft ass. I grunted as the pleasure build up some more. He looked up at me, satisfied with my response, then got bolder. His hands went under my dress and palmed my ass cheeks again. This time I felt the hard warmth of his hands on my bare ass, because I was wearing one of those thongs with just a little string buried deep between my ass cheeks.“You feel good,” he said softly, his hands busy, roaming all over my ass, fingertips finding and tracing the two dimples on my left cheek, then stroking all over, exploring me to his heart's content.“I like it, don't stop,” I encouraged him, leaning in to brace myself on his broad shoulders. He was like a rock, hard and firm, and I leaned into him as he owned my ass, kneading and stroking, then spreading the cheeks apart, so wide until I could feel my pussy lips opening slightly.“No stopping,” he said again, looking up at me. He kept his eyes on mine and I felt his fingers snaked under the strings of the thongs and slowly rolled them down my thighs. He carefully removed them from around my feet, then tucked them in the pants pocket. He flipped up the hem of the dress and his head disappeared from my view.He sniffed my pussy. Sniffed again, his lips so close to my flesh I could feel his warm breath on the sensitive lips.“You smell good,” he said from beneath the dress, his voice muffled but clear enough for me to hear him above the crashing rain. “It smell like good pussy.”He stood up suddenly and pointed to the couch. “Sit down,” he said, his voice all of a sudden sounding like a command. I quickly complied, body buzzing with anticipation.“Lean back,” he commanded again. “Make yourself comfortable.”I leaned back meekly, totally at his mercy. He seemed to tower over me, standing there, legs braced, his dick thick and hard in my dead Papa's pants.“Spread your legs. Put them up on the armrest. I want you wide open for me.”I hesitated a bit, but he was having none of it. “Just do it,” he said firmly, his bare foot nudging mine.I did as he demanded, lifting my legs up on to the armrest. The dress ride up all the way on my thighs to my belly. I lay there like that, fully skin out, exposing all of my wide-open thighs and my pussy to his eyes. And the doubt hit me hard as I lay there like that, doubt filling up my mind with negative thoughts, doubt that he would be disappointed.He didn't say or do anything, just stand there, eyes fastened on my pumpum, his mouth hanging open and breathing hard. He looked like he was in a spell, like the pussy put obeah on him. The doubt vanished and I smiled with relief and satisfaction. And I could feel the warmth spreading all over me again, starting out in my open pussy, like there was a fire growing down there, growing and spreading out.“What a way you like the pussy, ehh?” I asked him, although it was more like telling him.“Yeah,” he breathed, kneeling down and shuffling in between my legs.“What you like?”“How it's pretty,” he said, eyes roving over it. “So fat and juicy looking. The way you trim it low I can see all the meat. So plump and fresh looking. And the way it's opening up, showing off the sweet puffy brown lips and that wet, pink insides. Look at the clit…I can't wait to lick it good.”“Lick…??”He must have seen the shock on my face because he laughed and firmly nodded his head, making it clear he was going to do whatever he wanted.“Never get your pussy licked? Anybody ever eat you out?”“No,” I said, shocked and embarrassed at the same time, but the excitement hit me hard and I feel my pussy spasm, the hole opening and closing like the mouth of a red snapper out of water.He moved fast without any warning. One minute he was staring at my pumpum pulsing before him and the next second his head dive in and his tongue was swiping through my pussy from bottom all the way up to the top. It was electric, his thick warm tongue licking my wet flesh like he was licking his favorite Devon House ice-cream, when you don't want it to melt and waste in the hot sun.“Oh Jesus,” I moaned, shutting my eyes in ecstasy and my toes curled as the pleasure run through my legs, almost giving me muscle contract as my body tensed up from the sweetness.“It's not Jesus,” he said, talking directly into my pussy. “It's Tony.”His hands grasped my thighs and pushed them wider apart and his lips fastened on my clit and sucked softly. As my head threatened to explode his tongue flicked out and lashed the sensitive meat, swirling around it in little circles that drove me wild.“Rahtid,” I gasped. “it's so good.”“Lots more to come,” he promised, leaning back and looking up at me, his mouth glistening with my pussy juice. “Just lean back and enjoy it.”His hands were warm and firm on my thighs, pressing in, bending me back in two until my legs were pressed against my breasts and my pussy and ass were wide open, on full display before his hungry eyes. I could see all of it, between my big tits, past my rounded tummy and between my thighs. The pussy mound was high, like a little round hill with the trimmed bush barely hiding the meat beneath. The mound split, separating into the plump pussy lips that always stand out like two juicy sausages in my panties, so fat they were usually peeping out on each side of the panty. And right in the middle, above the deep pussy groove, was the clit, as big as my thumb top, standing up hard, glistening with his spit and my cream.He was in awe of my pumpum, but his eyes were everywhere, roving all over my body. I love my body, but I have this shame about some parts, like my tummy. His eyes were glowing, pure joy in them as he took in all of me. From my full breasts, over my belly, then down my quaking thighs then back up to my pussy, resting there, like it was the gold mine of his search.He licked my inner thighs, the soft, delicate flesh just below my pumpum, the part that kissed each other when I sit down or walk.“That sweet,” I said, trying to spread my legs more, invite him in even more. He licked again, a long, slow lick from my fleshy thigh up to my sex, stopping just below the fat lips.“I'm not playing with you anymore,' he said, eyes flashing up to me before returning to the business at hand. True, he had just licked my pussy, and I was now exposed to the pleasure of oral sex. But I wasn't prepared for the intense pleasure, the strange closeness and the nastiness that he was about to deliver to me, straight through my eager, creaming pussy.He licked me again, his tongue delving into the center of my pussy, slurping up my sticky juices, then licking the tender inner lips."Oh God,” I moaned, as his tongue bored back into my hot hole and lapped me up, like he was drinking his favorite soup. He sucked up and down, drawing out the creamy cum, the sounds lewd and sexy all at once. It was sex sound, pussy sound, pleasure sound and my body and mind accepted and reacted to it, making my cunt even more soft and gushy, till the cream leaked out of me, running down the crease in my ass cheeks and on to the couch.“Eat out my pussy,” I coaxed him, my hand now on his shaved head, urging him on. He didn't need any encouragement, but the slurping got louder, and his tongue felt like a little cock, stimulating every nerve in my pumpum.“My clit now,' I groaned, arching up my ass off the couch, offering him all of my pussy. "Suck it like a lollipop.He did."Oh sweet Jesus,' I bawled, as the heat and electricity exploded in my fat clit, sending the shivers down into my pumpum.He lapped me, the thick pink tongue gliding in and out of my pussy as it spasmed and spewed more cream for him to slurp. His hands left my thighs and I held them wide for him as his hands spread my pussy lips wide open and he dove in, his tongue straight and firm, digging into me like a hard cock."Oh God, you so nasty,” I wailed as the tongue lashing put me in tremors.He didn't answer but suddenly I felt his finger sliding into my pussy and his tongue moved to claim my clit. He fucked me slowly with his finger, sinking all the way in then stroking firmly on the way out, teasing and exciting my pussy as no one had ever done before. He sucked and licked my clit at the same time, making me bawl with the twin pleasure. The rain thundered on the roof, matching my wails, and I felt a huge pressure building up inside me, way down in the depths of my cunt.It started to vibrate, big waves of delight rolling out with each lick and each finger fuck stroke. My body was trembling too, shaking in a frenzy. I gripped his head again, mashing his face into my cum plastered pussy and my thighs closed around his shoulders, squeezing and pressing him into me, as if I wanted his entire body to fuck my overstimulated pussy“Come for me now,' he ordered, screwing me with two fingers now, his lips and tongue going back to my clit, abusing it with delicious swirls and licks. My pussy was on fire, thanks to this grown up country nerd and I bellowed in the rain, cross-eyed and delirious from the pleasure attack."Come for me,” he commanded again. “Give it up gal. Make this fat pussy buss in my mouth.”It was too sweet. And the rough, in-charge patois pushed me over the edge. The spasm hit like a big earthquake and the pussy erupted. The ecstasy washed over me, and I bucked up into him, bawling with every bolt of pleasure. He stayed with me, holding me in place, his lips and tongue working on my heated clit, keeping the pleasure going as my juices flowed like ripe honey, coating his lips and chin.Finally it slowed down, and I relaxed back into the couch, the seat warm and sticky beneath me. He moved his mouth off my pussy and leaned in over me, a pleased puss smile on his face. He was plastered in cum, and I could see a small piece of pussy hair sticking to his lip. I gently removed it and showed it to him, and we laughed out loud.Suddenly I heard the hurried footsteps out back and I looked at Tony in shock and worry. He heard it too, a questioning look on his face. I moved quickly, no time to think about a big plan.“Go hide under the bed in there,” I instructed, pointing in the direction of my bedroom. “take your shoes with you.”His eyes widened in surprise, but he didn't question me, just did as I said. I straightened out my dress, looked around for my panties and recalled that Tony had put them in the pants pocket. I pushed the couch back in its right spot and cringed at the wet spot on it. I didn't have time to come up with a solution because the door rattled for a second or two then burst open as Mama rushed in, dripping rainwater.“You all wet,” I said. “Let me get you a towel.”“It's ok,” she replied. “I'll dry off after I get some food stuff at the shop. I just stopped to drop off my handbag and a few things. Thought of sending you but I need to pick out some things myself.”I breathed a big sigh of relief and waited in suspense, hoping Tony would keep quiet and out of sight.“It smell a little funny in here,” Mama frowned, nose sniffing the air.I knew what it was, and it was all over me and on the couch, like an irresistible perfume.“Might be the saltfish?” I asked innocently, gesturing towards the pot that contained the salted cod that was soaking in the water, in preparation for cooking.“Hmm,” she said doubtfully. “Must be a different type of saltfish that. It really smell high this time. Anyway, let me go get these things and come back. Start boil the saltfish.”She left the way she came in and when she got to the front of the house I watched her, peeking out through a small gap between the curtain and the wall. I waited until she was out the yard and up to the street, then watched some more until she disappeared around the corner.“You can come out now,” I called out to Tony.He was out in no time, a look of relief on his face and I could tell he was dying to laugh as well. “That was close, eh? You think really fast on your feet. What if there was no saltfish on the stove?”“I'd have to come up with something I guess,” I said, laughing at him. I switched the water in the pot and turned on the stove.We stood in silence for a bit, smiling at each other, eyes communicating the same message of delight over what we just did. But then his eyes roamed my body once more and grew sharp with desire. I looked at him, mouth going dry as I picked up his intention. My pussy clenched at the realization and I shivered with the thought of what he wanted to do to me.“You want to fuck me?” I asked slowly.“Yeah,” he nodded, moving in and kissing me. It was a long, deep kiss, and I tasted me in the kiss. I could tell he wanted me to taste it because he licked me all over, sucking in my wetness and giving me his, mingling everything together for us to enjoy as we greedily licked and sucked each other's lips and tongue.His hands palmed my ass once more and crushed me against him so that his hard cock rubbed against my lower belly, just above my pussy mound. He dipped slightly until it was pressed firmly against my sex. He rubbed against me like that and I felt him everywhere; his tongue deep in my mouth, hard chest stimulating my hard nipples, his hands spreading my ass cheeks and his cock exciting my pussy.“A going to fuck you now before your mother come back. Come over here.”He stripped off quickly and stood before me naked. I took my time. In the back of my head I knew we didn't have a lot of time and I needed him to dick me down good, but I took my time. He was fine. His body was hard from years of hard country work and developing bigger and harder, most likely from sports or the gym.His cock was a magnet. Even as I drank in his entire body I was tracking it from the corner of my eyes. It was there in shadowy form, but very real in the unmistakable bulk and the slight bobbing as he rocked back and forth on his heels. I looked at it now, fully giving it all my attention. It was not long but thick and heavy looking, very much like him, the skin smooth and tight, with a big vein running from top to bottom. He was circumcised, and the bulby head was extra smooth and shiny, as if it was polished with the greatest care.“I want to touch it,” I heard myself say. It wasn't my first cock by a long shot, but it had me in a trance, making me act like a spellbound virgin.“Say please,” he said, voice so firm I looked at him in surprise.“Say please,” he said again, eyes staring me down.“Please,” I said, my voice suddenly meek and soft, wondering how this man was bossing me around in my own house.“Get down on your knees.”Anger started to well up in me, but he moved into me, his eyes no more than two inches from mine. He was intense and in charge, suddenly reminding me of the big mongrel stalking the bitch in heat, knowing she was at his mercy. He knew I wanted him badly, and he was taking advantage of it to control me now. He saw the surrender in my eyes and his eyes blazed with the knowledge of the full conquest. His hands were on my shoulders, gentle but firm at the same time.I went down to my knees, the floor hard beneath them. I stared at his thigs, firm and strong like the mahogany tree trunk. His cock swayed between them, capturing my attention once more. I took it in my hands, cupping it, amazed at the heaviness and the heat radiating from it, thinking how it would easily fill up my pussy and heat it up.I caressed it slowly with my fingers, loving the smooth, silky feel, then closing my eyes and tracing the vein, enjoying the ridged feel. He inhaled suddenly and I looked up to see the look of pleasure on his face and it filled me with satisfaction that I could affect him like that. I circled the shiny head and he inhaled and grunted when my fingertip brushed the wide-open pee hole.“That's good,” he groaned, his thighs trembling with tension, as if he was in some sort of torture, which I guess he was, but the good type.I had never done it before and had no plans to do so but I took his cock in my mouth. His reaction had me charged up now, and the hood was so pretty and scary looking at the same time that I must have lost my mind and gave into whatever erotic message my pussy was sending.“Oh God,” he moaned, as I took the fat head in and let my saliva cover it. I sucked him softly, knowing that his dick head was bound to be super sensitive.“Yeah, I like that,” he grunted, his hips swinging forward to push some more dick into my mouth. I gently braced against his thighs to stop him from choking me and I licked him good, getting the head sloppy and wet and excited.“You suck cock good,” he mumbled, his hands firm on my shoulders as he slowly fucked my mouth with just the cock head. “But a not cumming like this. A going to fuck you. Get up.”I got up quickly and he flipped me around and guided me up on the couch, spreading my thighs as wide as they could go. He rolled up my dress until my ass and back were bare and my breasts hang exposed, brushing slightly against the backrest. I grabbed a hold of the couch and looked back at him, eager to see him preparing to fuck me.He was ready. His eyes were firmly planted on my swaying ass cheeks, then traveling down to stare at my wide-open lips and cum soaked pussy. His right hand was on my waist, steadying my body, and his left hand palmed the dick that looked really hard and fat now. I shivered in anticipation and my body vibrated with pleasure when the blunt head creased my waiting pussy lips.I kept my eyes on him and he looked me in the eyes as he slowly fed the thick hood into my pussy. The head stuck for a brief moment and I felt his fullness then, giving my soft, plump lips a good stretch before popping in. I felt the immediate relief and the sweetness, but he did not give me any time to rest. He lunged forward in one smooth motion and buried the cock all the way in my pussy. I took him like a champion, and the wet pussy squelched and farted when he bottomed out.He leaned in and his hands circled me, one high around my breasts and the other low, his forearm keeping me tight against him as his fingers and palm cupped my pussy mound.“We going to fuck now,” he whispered in my ears, and then he was hitting it hard.The couch rocked and the rain fell in a soft drizzle, barely audible on the roof as he screwed into me, every stroke churning my cream and filling the room with the sound of good fucking.“Give it to me good,” I begged him, slamming back on to his strokes.“Take it,' he ordered, pulling me in tighter and rabbit fucked me so hard that my pussy was creaming nonstop and his balls were slapping good against my clit as my insides burned with the sweetness."Fuck me, you fucker,” I cried, fingers digging into the couch for dear life as he stroked me good. “I bet you dying for this pussy, huh?”“Oh yes,” he grunted. “I never dreamt it would happen for real, so I am a lucky man.”“I am lucky too,” I said, screwing my ass and squealing in delight as the fucking felt sweeter with the new motion.“You can fuck,” he said with admiration. “I love that. Love when a woman show that she love the sex.”“You good too,” I groaned, as he slowed down and sink it deep into me, the big vein rubbing and stimulating my steamy pussy.“I could fuck you all day and night but a want you to cum and your Mama soon come back.”He shifted behind me, climbing up on the couch, crouching over me like a male lion, his feet outside my legs, his hard, wet cock bobbing against my puffy labia. His left hand was now lower on my pussy, fingers over the lips, his other hand on my shoulder.He slid into me, gliding in easily, his cock soaked in my juices. I felt the difference when he picked up the speed, the cock hitting different, raking more against the front part of my pussy. He got into a steady rhythm and I rested on the couch and closed my eyes as my pussy hummed once more under the relentless dicking.“I love it,” I whispered, almost to myself.“You have good pussy,” he whispered back. “And I am owning it, ok?”He fucked me, over and over and I wailed into the lazy drizzle as my pussy voiced its pleasure with wet, sucking sounds.“Your Mama is coming,' he said.Panic surged in me and I glanced out the window. She was coming for real, hustling in the light drizzle."You have 30 seconds to cum,” he said. “So that we will have time to clean up enough. Come with me.”He quickened the pace, his cock pumping into me in earnest, causing the juice to fly out of my pussy and wetting up my thighs. His finger found my clit, stroking it and giving me even more pleasure. I rocked with him, skewering my pussy on his hard cock, loving the delicious ache as she pounded my pussy.I stared out, anxiety mounting as I saw Mama coming closer and closer. And the exquisite sensations in my pussy grew and grew until I was shaking all over in ecstasy. I felt his cock pulsed in me, like a drumbeat. It pulsed again, harder this time, and with each stroke it vibrated even more until the extra stimulation was too much to bear. My pussy quaked, tremored, pulsed…and then it exploded.“Oh Jesus, I am coming,” I wailed.“Good,” he grunted, his strokes harder and shorter now, his fingers delivering mind numbing pleasure to my clit as I gushed on his dick.“I'm coming now,” he warned, and his cock pulsed powerfully in the middle of my orgasm, and I felt the gush of semen as he filled me up.He fucked me through it, and I held him tight to me, enjoying the feel of his cock vibrating in my clasping pussy as his seed swirled in me. There wasn't much room for it and it soon leaked out on to my vulva. I wanted to stay there and savor it, revel in the sweet nastiness but Mama was less than two minutes away.“Let's clean up,” I said, shuffling beneath him.He backed away carefully, his cock making an audible pop as it left my pussy. I suddenly felt the emptiness and wished I could sink back on to him, but had to use common sense.We cleaned up quickly, fixing up as best as possible. The scent of well fucked pussy hung heavy in the air, and I panicked again at the thought of Mama walking into it. But relief washed over me a second later, rolling in on the pungent aroma of boiling saltfish. I opened the door, casually looking out as I let in fresh air to help freshen the room.“Tony!” Mama gushed as soon as she set eyes on him. “What a pleasant surprise!”The joy and respect were evident in her eyes. And he looked smart and respectable there, all dressed up again, his manner very much like the intelligent, church-going young man she knew. I grinned to myself, doing my best to keep the expression inside of me. It was funny seeing her reverence when she would have been horrified if she had seen him fucking me senseless just minutes ago. I grinned again as I felt his seed seeping from my still throbbing pussy.“You have to stay for dinner,” she said, bustling about the kitchen. “How long you down for?”‘All of the summer, ma'am.“"Well, it's good to have you and I hope you will visit us some more.”“Yes ma'am,” he said with a straight face.My expression was neutral too as my bare pussy pulsed at the thought of him visiting again and again.by Kuntry yute for Literotica

 River FantasyVillage reunion turns steamy, fueled by erotic river sighting.by Kuntry yute. Listen to the ► Podcast at Steamy Stories. The rain burst out of nowhere, as it usually does. One minute the afternoon was bright and sunny, then the sun just disappeared behind a big dark cloud and the rain cut loose.No one was in the house but me, with Mama off to see her church sister. The rain was heavy. You could see it in the fat drops and the fast-moving muddy streams that turned the yard into a small riverbed. But the best part for me was the pounding on the zinc roof, as if the rain was playing a whole heap of kettle drums at the same time. The wind picked up at times, lashing the large banana leaves into a crazy dance, like big, awkward hands flapping to the heavy rain drops. I watched and listened, content inside the warm, dry house. It was a good mood, like I could roll with the energy and rhythm and dance to my heart's content, or get a sheet and curl up in the big couch, to just rest or doze off.I had something else in mind though, and the first real buzz of anticipation and excitement coursed through my body, leaving me tingling and warming up all over, especially down in my belly bottom and my nipples. The sensation cooled off a bit as I thought about Mama coming home sooner than expected. She had almost caught me once, and I was saved only by the fact that she had left her keys and had to call me to open the door. She had her keys now, and the rain would mask any sound of her approach.But I wasn't going to be denied. This moment was too good to waste. The living room had a big window that looked out on the yard and provided a full view of anyone approaching, as long as the curtain was not fully drawn. I could enjoy the comfort of the love seat and keep an eye out for Mama; all I needed to do was turn it around to face the yard.I easily flipped the couch around, nervous excitement overtaking my senses and body as I imagined the delights just seconds away. I quickly washed my hands in the bathroom, pulled a couple items from my drawer and hustled back to the living room. I started opening the curtains and recoiled in shock and irritation.Someone – looks like a man - was out there in the rain, splashing up on the verandah and depositing a rickety black umbrella in a corner before knocking on the door. The umbrella was useless, on account of all the water he was busy brushing off his arms and legs. I stashed my items under the couch seat and opened the door, intent on quickly dealing with him and getting to my pleasure.“Hi Cherry” he greeted after a slight pause, surprised uncertainty in his eyes as he brushed a few droplets from his face. I figured he was expecting to see Mama instead of me.“Tony, right?” I responded with a smile.“Yes,” he said, grinning suddenly at me from his rain-wet face.My irritation was dissolving rapidly as I looked him over. I had glimpsed him three nights ago, the first time since he had left for university two years ago. Many people didn't go to university from this village, and people talked about him a lot, including his mother who couldn't stop boasting about her bright son. It was annoying, especially for someone like me that didn't make it to university.I wasn't annoyed now though. He was short and stocky when we were kids. He wasn't tall now, just medium height, about two inches taller than my five foot eight. The stocky look was still there, but more athletic, like he was a sprinter or one of those American football players. As a boy his father used to give him bad haircuts, and it worsened the look of his face which was already ordinary with the flat nose and large, almost bulging eyes. Nobody would call him handsome now, but he had grown up well, sporting a clean shaved head, with eyes that were sharp and intelligent looking, and a face that was strong and hard, like a thick chunk of cured pimento wood.His eyes moved quickly, up and down, just as I had done. But it was open and forward, the type of look that said he was not afraid to show his hand. He wanted me to know he was seeing me as a woman, a woman that grabbed his interest, and he wanted me to react to that interest.I was interested in him for real, no doubt about it. I had felt it when I saw him last Friday, that flash of sexual curiosity, seeing him all sexy and relaxed. He had looked at me quickly, followed by a smile of recognition and a polite greeting. I smiled back, blushing and hoping he hadn't seen the interest in my eyes. Now I grinned to myself, thinking how smooth he was then in the public place, acting all polite and decent, when he was clearly interested and just biding his time.There was a prickling on my skin, leaving goosebumps on my arms and my nipples felt like someone was giving them little electric shocks. My pumpum twitched suddenly with pleasure, a sweet, achy pleasure. I was shocked at the reaction in my body and suddenly my thighs squeezed together, as if to keep the feelings trapped down there and not affecting the rest of me, for fear he could see his effect on me.He was like a godsend, appearing as if by miracle, just when I was in the mood to frig myself with the weather and Mama cooperating so well. But with some effort I reined in the feelings. There was desire in his eyes, but I couldn't assume he was planning to do anything about it right now.“You here to see Mama?” I asked.“Yeah,” he said, after a little hesitation. “My Mama asked me to drop off this partner money, and I couldn't pass up the chance to see you.”“I see you develop some sweet tongue,” I said saucily but I am sure he could tell I was flattered by his words.“Sweet tongue yes, but truth too,” he said boldly, eyes lively with daring.“Well, it's good to see you too,” I said, giving him a little something in return, although I was warming up to him much faster than my words would indicate.He held out his hand, offering an envelope that bulged slightly with the contents.“I'll give it to her,” I said, taking the envelope.He stood there for a moment, eyes thoughtful, looking me over. I watched him, imagining the wheels turning in his head, figuring out how he should proceed. I waited, realizing belatedly with a touch of embarrassment that my lips were parted in anticipation of his next move.“You want to dry those clothes?” I asked suddenly, surprising myself with the question. “Could give you time for the rain to ease off and you can tell me about life in Kingston.”He looked at me sharply, surprise on his face. He looked down at his body with a frown, no doubt seeing and feeling the wetness in his shirt and pants. He looked at me, eyes steady, thinking it over.“Ok,” he said with a shrug and smile. “Do you have something for me to put on or am I supposed to wait naked?”“Not a bad idea,” I laughed back at him, knowing he was seeing the devilry in my eyes. “Don't worry though, I'll get you some of Papa's clothes. He doesn't need them anymore.”I found a clean set of pants and shirt that looked close enough for his size. It was far from perfect though, because he was shorter and more muscular than Papa. The shirt was tight across his chest and arms and the pants were snug in the butt and crotch. He looked funny and sexy at the same time. He went and sat in my couch, making himself comfortable while I draped his wet clothes on the warm grate behind the fridge.We talked for a bit, catching up on each other's life over the past two years. I felt jealous, because he seemed to be doing so much and here I was wasting away in the dead-end village. He surprised me though, by praising what I was doing.“Honey is a big deal,” he said, a little frown on his face. “You just need to scale up and get connected to the right distribution channels.”I didn't go to university, but I was always learning shit from free college courses and podcasts when the internet complied, so I knew what he was talking about.“Scale up needs money and time, and that's time I have to put in my regular job.”“Let me think about it,” he replied, then leaned back in the couch with a strange smile on his face. “I see you still go to the river?”“What?” I asked, frowning at him. I was perplexed as to why he would ask about the river.“Those days were exciting even with the hard work,” he said with a longing look on his face. “Remember how we all used to play after the wash? Hide and seek, catch crawfish, eat guineps till we couldn't walk properly…”“Oh boy,” I smiled, remembering. “Those were the good old days. Kids nowadays just want to play video games. No love for nature. We don't even wash clothes down there anymore. That life pretty much done.”“Yet you were there yesterday,” he said quietly, his eyes still on my face.“You were at the river?” I asked him, a nervous type of anxiousness spreading slowly through my belly.He nodded silently, watching me. It might not be too bad, I thought to myself. Maybe he saw me going down or coming up, not necessarily in the river itself. But his next words shattered my flimsy hope.“That big pool with the mango tree over it. I was heading for it, but just as I was about to climb down the bank, I saw you. I immediately thought of leaving but I just stood there, as if I had no power to move. I'm sorry for snooping on you but it was as if you hooked me right there, and the more I looked the more you pulled me in.”I was ashamed and angry. In truth I really didn't mind if someone sees me naked if I know and can make the decision for myself. But this was Peeping Tom stuff, him seeing me and copping a look without me knowing.“You were snooping on me?” I snapped at him.“Your fault for bathing out in public,” he said calmly, a little smile dancing across his lips, no doubt enjoying himself.It was true. I knew it could happen but figured and hoped no one would be around. I was dying for a river bath; to have all the water I need to wash freely without thinking about conserving water. At least I didn't bathe fully naked, although the flimsy slip was not much covering, especially when wet.“What was so enticing?” I asked. His reasoning had taken away my excuse for being angry, and I decided to focus on the exciting part of what he had said.“Everything,” he said, a faraway look in his eyes, faraway and happy. “I could just look at you all day, if you were just standing there in that wet slip, sticking to you like a second skin, you all curvy and sweet. But when you start to wash yourself it just make it sweeter.”I am accustomed to men telling me how I look, in explicit terms. This was different. It's amazing how two men could make it clear that they want bed you, and one leaves you disgusted while the other makes you wat to take off your panties right away. Tony was the panty dropping type.He looked me in the eye once more and shuffled around in the couch, trying to make himself more comfortable, maybe because the pants were too tight for him. Without thinking my eyes slipped down to his crotch and they popped in surprise when I saw the clear outline of his hood to one side. I was surprised but the achiness in my pussy ramped up even more as I imagined him without pants.He must have caught my eyes, and I am sure now that I wanted him to see me checking him out like that. His expression changed, his eyes boring into me, so intense that it was like I was not wearing any clothes and he could see all my nakedness and even into my thoughts.it was surprising to me how comfortable and excited I felt, all alone here with him. Somehow, he had put me at ease without trying too hard, just by being himself. It helped a lot that I was already in the mood to play, but he sure revved up my interest.It was strange. He wasn't really my type. He was this nice, book type, not the big-talking rude boys I tend to like, even though they were not the best for me. Tony was different in a good way from way back, and his time in the city sure made him a sexy, confident man.“So what exactly got you so spellbound at the river?” I asked finally.“All of you, but it was a different level of wonder when you started to soap up,” he said, pulling my attention firmly back from my thoughts and squarely on to him. “It was like watching you caressing yourself for my benefit, caressing and massaging, your body wet and covered in soap bubbles. And the way you did it…it was not just a chore, not just cleaning yourself. I could tell you were enjoying it, and that part was a huge turn on too.”“I love taking a bath,” I said, my mind all woozy with the beauty and sexiness of what he was saying. I always love poetry and he was speaking the sweetest, hottest verses to me right now“And I can't forget,” he continued, eyes glazed and slowly licking his lips at the memory. “You squatted down a bit, spreading your legs wide, and the slip ride up, showing off all of them firm, smooth thighs. And then you move that soapy rag up between them. I couldn't see exactly what you were doing, but I could see your hand moving in, way in, then slowly and firmly up and down, soap suds covering all of your hand, your upper thighs and pussy area. You keep washing, up and down, then around in little circles, then in and out. I managed to look at your face a few times, hoping you were not noticing me watching you. But your eyes were closed by then…as if you were in another world. Your body trembled then, vibrating…and when you opened your eyes you looked so blissful…the joy on your face was real as your hand moved under the dress."Afterwards you waded into deeper water and sink down till the water was up to your chest. You bobbed up and down, rinsing off. You weren't wearing any brassiere and your breasts bounced up and down, so round and juicy looking with the wet slip plastered tight on them. I couldn't take my eyes off them. You were smiling at this time, a little smile, but a real smile…and I wonder how good it must feel to get such pleasure from washing your pumpum.”He stopped talking and I realized I was staring at him, my mouth wide open, hardly breathing, legs turning jelly. My body felt hot all over and I knew I was in heat. My pumpum was fluttering, steady and strong, like another heart was down there between my legs. There was a wetness too, warm and sticky, like a raw honey spring was starting to open up inside of me.“It was a good feeling,” I said to him, but decided not to mention that all that trembling and vibrating was me cumming. Maybe he knew and decided not to go there too. “And that's what has you running over here to see me?”“Yeah,” he smiled. “It was the exclamation point. I had seen you a couple days before and was going to check on you, but that just sealed the deal. I knew I had to come and see you”“And I am glad you did. You are just what I need with this rain pouring down out there.”I was shocked at how forward I sounded, but he had me feeling a certain way and I was in no condition to resist him, not that I wanted to at all.“I wished you would say that,” he responded, flexing his strong legs, spreading them wide, causing his cock to shift and stand out even more in the tight pants. He followed my eyes, then looked back at me. “Come over here. I want to feel what it's like to stroke your pussy the way you did.”The rain was still lashing outside as I walked the short distance over to him. I stopped a few inches from him, and he leaned forward, his face in line with my crotch. He looked up at me, eyes locked with mine, a little question in his eyes. I realized he was asking permission, even though I would bet he was picking up my sex scent and knew I was ready for him. I smiled at him and he smiled back, the question disappearing from his face.He was the man now, eyes heavy with desire and a lot of good, healthy lust. His wide nostrils opened up, like a jack donkey scenting the ginnie in heat. His tongue was out, slowly moistening the thick lips, moving slowly back and forth.His hands went around my waist and down to my ass, his fingers strong and possessive, gently squeezing my big, soft ass. I grunted as the pleasure build up some more. He looked up at me, satisfied with my response, then got bolder. His hands went under my dress and palmed my ass cheeks again. This time I felt the hard warmth of his hands on my bare ass, because I was wearing one of those thongs with just a little string buried deep between my ass cheeks.“You feel good,” he said softly, his hands busy, roaming all over my ass, fingertips finding and tracing the two dimples on my left cheek, then stroking all over, exploring me to his heart's content.“I like it, don't stop,” I encouraged him, leaning in to brace myself on his broad shoulders. He was like a rock, hard and firm, and I leaned into him as he owned my ass, kneading and stroking, then spreading the cheeks apart, so wide until I could feel my pussy lips opening slightly.“No stopping,” he said again, looking up at me. He kept his eyes on mine and I felt his fingers snaked under the strings of the thongs and slowly rolled them down my thighs. He carefully removed them from around my feet, then tucked them in the pants pocket. He flipped up the hem of the dress and his head disappeared from my view.He sniffed my pussy. Sniffed again, his lips so close to my flesh I could feel his warm breath on the sensitive lips.“You smell good,” he said from beneath the dress, his voice muffled but clear enough for me to hear him above the crashing rain. “It smell like good pussy.”He stood up suddenly and pointed to the couch. “Sit down,” he said, his voice all of a sudden sounding like a command. I quickly complied, body buzzing with anticipation.“Lean back,” he commanded again. “Make yourself comfortable.”I leaned back meekly, totally at his mercy. He seemed to tower over me, standing there, legs braced, his dick thick and hard in my dead Papa's pants.“Spread your legs. Put them up on the armrest. I want you wide open for me.”I hesitated a bit, but he was having none of it. “Just do it,” he said firmly, his bare foot nudging mine.I did as he demanded, lifting my legs up on to the armrest. The dress ride up all the way on my thighs to my belly. I lay there like that, fully skin out, exposing all of my wide-open thighs and my pussy to his eyes. And the doubt hit me hard as I lay there like that, doubt filling up my mind with negative thoughts, doubt that he would be disappointed.He didn't say or do anything, just stand there, eyes fastened on my pumpum, his mouth hanging open and breathing hard. He looked like he was in a spell, like the pussy put obeah on him. The doubt vanished and I smiled with relief and satisfaction. And I could feel the warmth spreading all over me again, starting out in my open pussy, like there was a fire growing down there, growing and spreading out.“What a way you like the pussy, ehh?” I asked him, although it was more like telling him.“Yeah,” he breathed, kneeling down and shuffling in between my legs.“What you like?”“How it's pretty,” he said, eyes roving over it. “So fat and juicy looking. The way you trim it low I can see all the meat. So plump and fresh looking. And the way it's opening up, showing off the sweet puffy brown lips and that wet, pink insides. Look at the clit…I can't wait to lick it good.”“Lick…??”He must have seen the shock on my face because he laughed and firmly nodded his head, making it clear he was going to do whatever he wanted.“Never get your pussy licked? Anybody ever eat you out?”“No,” I said, shocked and embarrassed at the same time, but the excitement hit me hard and I feel my pussy spasm, the hole opening and closing like the mouth of a red snapper out of water.He moved fast without any warning. One minute he was staring at my pumpum pulsing before him and the next second his head dive in and his tongue was swiping through my pussy from bottom all the way up to the top. It was electric, his thick warm tongue licking my wet flesh like he was licking his favorite Devon House ice-cream, when you don't want it to melt and waste in the hot sun.“Oh Jesus,” I moaned, shutting my eyes in ecstasy and my toes curled as the pleasure run through my legs, almost giving me muscle contract as my body tensed up from the sweetness.“It's not Jesus,” he said, talking directly into my pussy. “It's Tony.”His hands grasped my thighs and pushed them wider apart and his lips fastened on my clit and sucked softly. As my head threatened to explode his tongue flicked out and lashed the sensitive meat, swirling around it in little circles that drove me wild.“Rahtid,” I gasped. “it's so good.”“Lots more to come,” he promised, leaning back and looking up at me, his mouth glistening with my pussy juice. “Just lean back and enjoy it.”His hands were warm and firm on my thighs, pressing in, bending me back in two until my legs were pressed against my breasts and my pussy and ass were wide open, on full display before his hungry eyes. I could see all of it, between my big tits, past my rounded tummy and between my thighs. The pussy mound was high, like a little round hill with the trimmed bush barely hiding the meat beneath. The mound split, separating into the plump pussy lips that always stand out like two juicy sausages in my panties, so fat they were usually peeping out on each side of the panty. And right in the middle, above the deep pussy groove, was the clit, as big as my thumb top, standing up hard, glistening with his spit and my cream.He was in awe of my pumpum, but his eyes were everywhere, roving all over my body. I love my body, but I have this shame about some parts, like my tummy. His eyes were glowing, pure joy in them as he took in all of me. From my full breasts, over my belly, then down my quaking thighs then back up to my pussy, resting there, like it was the gold mine of his search.He licked my inner thighs, the soft, delicate flesh just below my pumpum, the part that kissed each other when I sit down or walk.“That sweet,” I said, trying to spread my legs more, invite him in even more. He licked again, a long, slow lick from my fleshy thigh up to my sex, stopping just below the fat lips.“I'm not playing with you anymore,' he said, eyes flashing up to me before returning to the business at hand. True, he had just licked my pussy, and I was now exposed to the pleasure of oral sex. But I wasn't prepared for the intense pleasure, the strange closeness and the nastiness that he was about to deliver to me, straight through my eager, creaming pussy.He licked me again, his tongue delving into the center of my pussy, slurping up my sticky juices, then licking the tender inner lips."Oh God,” I moaned, as his tongue bored back into my hot hole and lapped me up, like he was drinking his favorite soup. He sucked up and down, drawing out the creamy cum, the sounds lewd and sexy all at once. It was sex sound, pussy sound, pleasure sound and my body and mind accepted and reacted to it, making my cunt even more soft and gushy, till the cream leaked out of me, running down the crease in my ass cheeks and on to the couch.“Eat out my pussy,” I coaxed him, my hand now on his shaved head, urging him on. He didn't need any encouragement, but the slurping got louder, and his tongue felt like a little cock, stimulating every nerve in my pumpum.“My clit now,' I groaned, arching up my ass off the couch, offering him all of my pussy. "Suck it like a lollipop.He did."Oh sweet Jesus,' I bawled, as the heat and electricity exploded in my fat clit, sending the shivers down into my pumpum.He lapped me, the thick pink tongue gliding in and out of my pussy as it spasmed and spewed more cream for him to slurp. His hands left my thighs and I held them wide for him as his hands spread my pussy lips wide open and he dove in, his tongue straight and firm, digging into me like a hard cock."Oh God, you so nasty,” I wailed as the tongue lashing put me in tremors.He didn't answer but suddenly I felt his finger sliding into my pussy and his tongue moved to claim my clit. He fucked me slowly with his finger, sinking all the way in then stroking firmly on the way out, teasing and exciting my pussy as no one had ever done before. He sucked and licked my clit at the same time, making me bawl with the twin pleasure. The rain thundered on the roof, matching my wails, and I felt a huge pressure building up inside me, way down in the depths of my cunt.It started to vibrate, big waves of delight rolling out with each lick and each finger fuck stroke. My body was trembling too, shaking in a frenzy. I gripped his head again, mashing his face into my cum plastered pussy and my thighs closed around his shoulders, squeezing and pressing him into me, as if I wanted his entire body to fuck my overstimulated pussy“Come for me now,' he ordered, screwing me with two fingers now, his lips and tongue going back to my clit, abusing it with delicious swirls and licks. My pussy was on fire, thanks to this grown up country nerd and I bellowed in the rain, cross-eyed and delirious from the pleasure attack."Come for me,” he commanded again. “Give it up gal. Make this fat pussy buss in my mouth.”It was too sweet. And the rough, in-charge patois pushed me over the edge. The spasm hit like a big earthquake and the pussy erupted. The ecstasy washed over me, and I bucked up into him, bawling with every bolt of pleasure. He stayed with me, holding me in place, his lips and tongue working on my heated clit, keeping the pleasure going as my juices flowed like ripe honey, coating his lips and chin.Finally it slowed down, and I relaxed back into the couch, the seat warm and sticky beneath me. He moved his mouth off my pussy and leaned in over me, a pleased puss smile on his face. He was plastered in cum, and I could see a small piece of pussy hair sticking to his lip. I gently removed it and showed it to him, and we laughed out loud.Suddenly I heard the hurried footsteps out back and I looked at Tony in shock and worry. He heard it too, a questioning look on his face. I moved quickly, no time to think about a big plan.“Go hide under the bed in there,” I instructed, pointing in the direction of my bedroom. “take your shoes with you.”His eyes widened in surprise, but he didn't question me, just did as I said. I straightened out my dress, looked around for my panties and recalled that Tony had put them in the pants pocket. I pushed the couch back in its right spot and cringed at the wet spot on it. I didn't have time to come up with a solution because the door rattled for a second or two then burst open as Mama rushed in, dripping rainwater.“You all wet,” I said. “Let me get you a towel.”“It's ok,” she replied. “I'll dry off after I get some food stuff at the shop. I just stopped to drop off my handbag and a few things. Thought of sending you but I need to pick out some things myself.”I breathed a big sigh of relief and waited in suspense, hoping Tony would keep quiet and out of sight.“It smell a little funny in here,” Mama frowned, nose sniffing the air.I knew what it was, and it was all over me and on the couch, like an irresistible perfume.“Might be the saltfish?” I asked innocently, gesturing towards the pot that contained the salted cod that was soaking in the water, in preparation for cooking.“Hmm,” she said doubtfully. “Must be a different type of saltfish that. It really smell high this time. Anyway, let me go get these things and come back. Start boil the saltfish.”She left the way she came in and when she got to the front of the house I watched her, peeking out through a small gap between the curtain and the wall. I waited until she was out the yard and up to the street, then watched some more until she disappeared around the corner.“You can come out now,” I called out to Tony.He was out in no time, a look of relief on his face and I could tell he was dying to laugh as well. “That was close, eh? You think really fast on your feet. What if there was no saltfish on the stove?”“I'd have to come up with something I guess,” I said, laughing at him. I switched the water in the pot and turned on the stove.We stood in silence for a bit, smiling at each other, eyes communicating the same message of delight over what we just did. But then his eyes roamed my body once more and grew sharp with desire. I looked at him, mouth going dry as I picked up his intention. My pussy clenched at the realization and I shivered with the thought of what he wanted to do to me.“You want to fuck me?” I asked slowly.“Yeah,” he nodded, moving in and kissing me. It was a long, deep kiss, and I tasted me in the kiss. I could tell he wanted me to taste it because he licked me all over, sucking in my wetness and giving me his, mingling everything together for us to enjoy as we greedily licked and sucked each other's lips and tongue.His hands palmed my ass once more and crushed me against him so that his hard cock rubbed against my lower belly, just above my pussy mound. He dipped slightly until it was pressed firmly against my sex. He rubbed against me like that and I felt him everywhere; his tongue deep in my mouth, hard chest stimulating my hard nipples, his hands spreading my ass cheeks and his cock exciting my pussy.“A going to fuck you now before your mother come back. Come over here.”He stripped off quickly and stood before me naked. I took my time. In the back of my head I knew we didn't have a lot of time and I needed him to dick me down good, but I took my time. He was fine. His body was hard from years of hard country work and developing bigger and harder, most likely from sports or the gym.His cock was a magnet. Even as I drank in his entire body I was tracking it from the corner of my eyes. It was there in shadowy form, but very real in the unmistakable bulk and the slight bobbing as he rocked back and forth on his heels. I looked at it now, fully giving it all my attention. It was not long but thick and heavy looking, very much like him, the skin smooth and tight, with a big vein running from top to bottom. He was circumcised, and the bulby head was extra smooth and shiny, as if it was polished with the greatest care.“I want to touch it,” I heard myself say. It wasn't my first cock by a long shot, but it had me in a trance, making me act like a spellbound virgin.“Say please,” he said, voice so firm I looked at him in surprise.“Say please,” he said again, eyes staring me down.“Please,” I said, my voice suddenly meek and soft, wondering how this man was bossing me around in my own house.“Get down on your knees.”Anger started to well up in me, but he moved into me, his eyes no more than two inches from mine. He was intense and in charge, suddenly reminding me of the big mongrel stalking the bitch in heat, knowing she was at his mercy. He knew I wanted him badly, and he was taking advantage of it to control me now. He saw the surrender in my eyes and his eyes blazed with the knowledge of the full conquest. His hands were on my shoulders, gentle but firm at the same time.I went down to my knees, the floor hard beneath them. I stared at his thigs, firm and strong like the mahogany tree trunk. His cock swayed between them, capturing my attention once more. I took it in my hands, cupping it, amazed at the heaviness and the heat radiating from it, thinking how it would easily fill up my pussy and heat it up.I caressed it slowly with my fingers, loving the smooth, silky feel, then closing my eyes and tracing the vein, enjoying the ridged feel. He inhaled suddenly and I looked up to see the look of pleasure on his face and it filled me with satisfaction that I could affect him like that. I circled the shiny head and he inhaled and grunted when my fingertip brushed the wide-open pee hole.“That's good,” he groaned, his thighs trembling with tension, as if he was in some sort of torture, which I guess he was, but the good type.I had never done it before and had no plans to do so but I took his cock in my mouth. His reaction had me charged up now, and the hood was so pretty and scary looking at the same time that I must have lost my mind and gave into whatever erotic message my pussy was sending.“Oh God,” he moaned, as I took the fat head in and let my saliva cover it. I sucked him softly, knowing that his dick head was bound to be super sensitive.“Yeah, I like that,” he grunted, his hips swinging forward to push some more dick into my mouth. I gently braced against his thighs to stop him from choking me and I licked him good, getting the head sloppy and wet and excited.“You suck cock good,” he mumbled, his hands firm on my shoulders as he slowly fucked my mouth with just the cock head. “But a not cumming like this. A going to fuck you. Get up.”I got up quickly and he flipped me around and guided me up on the couch, spreading my thighs as wide as they could go. He rolled up my dress until my ass and back were bare and my breasts hang exposed, brushing slightly against the backrest. I grabbed a hold of the couch and looked back at him, eager to see him preparing to fuck me.He was ready. His eyes were firmly planted on my swaying ass cheeks, then traveling down to stare at my wide-open lips and cum soaked pussy. His right hand was on my waist, steadying my body, and his left hand palmed the dick that looked really hard and fat now. I shivered in anticipation and my body vibrated with pleasure when the blunt head creased my waiting pussy lips.I kept my eyes on him and he looked me in the eyes as he slowly fed the thick hood into my pussy. The head stuck for a brief moment and I felt his fullness then, giving my soft, plump lips a good stretch before popping in. I felt the immediate relief and the sweetness, but he did not give me any time to rest. He lunged forward in one smooth motion and buried the cock all the way in my pussy. I took him like a champion, and the wet pussy squelched and farted when he bottomed out.He leaned in and his hands circled me, one high around my breasts and the other low, his forearm keeping me tight against him as his fingers and palm cupped my pussy mound.“We going to fuck now,” he whispered in my ears, and then he was hitting it hard.The couch rocked and the rain fell in a soft drizzle, barely audible on the roof as he screwed into me, every stroke churning my cream and filling the room with the sound of good fucking.“Give it to me good,” I begged him, slamming back on to his strokes.“Take it,' he ordered, pulling me in tighter and rabbit fucked me so hard that my pussy was creaming nonstop and his balls were slapping good against my clit as my insides burned with the sweetness."Fuck me, you fucker,” I cried, fingers digging into the couch for dear life as he stroked me good. “I bet you dying for this pussy, huh?”“Oh yes,” he grunted. “I never dreamt it would happen for real, so I am a lucky man.”“I am lucky too,” I said, screwing my ass and squealing in delight as the fucking felt sweeter with the new motion.“You can fuck,” he said with admiration. “I love that. Love when a woman show that she love the sex.”“You good too,” I groaned, as he slowed down and sink it deep into me, the big vein rubbing and stimulating my steamy pussy.“I could fuck you all day and night but a want you to cum and your Mama soon come back.”He shifted behind me, climbing up on the couch, crouching over me like a male lion, his feet outside my legs, his hard, wet cock bobbing against my puffy labia. His left hand was now lower on my pussy, fingers over the lips, his other hand on my shoulder.He slid into me, gliding in easily, his cock soaked in my juices. I felt the difference when he picked up the speed, the cock hitting different, raking more against the front part of my pussy. He got into a steady rhythm and I rested on the couch and closed my eyes as my pussy hummed once more under the relentless dicking.“I love it,” I whispered, almost to myself.“You have good pussy,” he whispered back. “And I am owning it, ok?”He fucked me, over and over and I wailed into the lazy drizzle as my pussy voiced its pleasure with wet, sucking sounds.“Your Mama is coming,' he said.Panic surged in me and I glanced out the window. She was coming for real, hustling in the light drizzle."You have 30 seconds to cum,” he said. “So that we will have time to clean up enough. Come with me.”He quickened the pace, his cock pumping into me in earnest, causing the juice to fly out of my pussy and wetting up my thighs. His finger found my clit, stroking it and giving me even more pleasure. I rocked with him, skewering my pussy on his hard cock, loving the delicious ache as she pounded my pussy.I stared out, anxiety mounting as I saw Mama coming closer and closer. And the exquisite sensations in my pussy grew and grew until I was shaking all over in ecstasy. I felt his cock pulsed in me, like a drumbeat. It pulsed again, harder this time, and with each stroke it vibrated even more until the extra stimulation was too much to bear. My pussy quaked, tremored, pulsed…and then it exploded.“Oh Jesus, I am coming,” I wailed.“Good,” he grunted, his strokes harder and shorter now, his fingers delivering mind numbing pleasure to my clit as I gushed on his dick.“I'm coming now,” he warned, and his cock pulsed powerfully in the middle of my orgasm, and I felt the gush of semen as he filled me up.He fucked me through it, and I held him tight to me, enjoying the feel of his cock vibrating in my clasping pussy as his seed swirled in me. There wasn't much room for it and it soon leaked out on to my vulva. I wanted to stay there and savor it, revel in the sweet nastiness but Mama was less than two minutes away.“Let's clean up,” I said, shuffling beneath him.He backed away carefully, his cock making an audible pop as it left my pussy. I suddenly felt the emptiness and wished I could sink back on to him, but had to use common sense.We cleaned up quickly, fixing up as best as possible. The scent of well fucked pussy hung heavy in the air, and I panicked again at the thought of Mama walking into it. But relief washed over me a second later, rolling in on the pungent aroma of boiling saltfish. I opened the door, casually looking out as I let in fresh air to help freshen the room.“Tony!” Mama gushed as soon as she set eyes on him. “What a pleasant surprise!”The joy and respect were evident in her eyes. And he looked smart and respectable there, all dressed up again, his manner very much like the intelligent, church-going young man she knew. I grinned to myself, doing my best to keep the expression inside of me. It was funny seeing her reverence when she would have been horrified if she had seen him fucking me senseless just minutes ago. I grinned again as I felt his seed seeping from my still throbbing pussy.“You have to stay for dinner,” she said, bustling about the kitchen. “How long you down for?”‘All of the summer, ma'am.“"Well, it's good to have you and I hope you will visit us some more.”“Yes ma'am,” he said with a straight face.My expression was neutral too as my bare pussy pulsed at the thought of him visiting again and again.by Kuntry yute for Literotica

Fragmentation special! It's all kicking off on the right and the left. Are our panic-stricken political classes talking Britain into a Farage premiership just by making it sound inevitable? And could Zarah Sultana's (possibly premature) launch of a new party of the anti-war left turn into a genuine threat to Labour? We're calling it CorbTana. It's going to catch on. Really.  ESCAPE ROUTES • Hannah recommends Couples Therapy on BBC iPlayer.  • Jonn recommends the US version of Ghosts.  • Raf saw War at the A Love Supreme festival.  • Andrew saw Goat and Infinity Song at Glastonbury.  www.patreon.com/ohgodwhatnow Presented by Andrew Harrison with Rafael Behr, Jonn Elledge, and Hannah Fearn. Audio Production by: Simon Williams. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. OH GOD, WHAT NOW? is a Podmasters production. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Click here for the DRB Daily Sign Up form! TODAY'S SCRIPTURE: Hosea 6-9; Hebrews 3 Click HERE to give! Get Free App Here! One Year Bible Podcast: Join Hunter and Heather Barnes on 'The Daily Radio Bible' for a daily 20-minute spiritual journey. Engage with scripture readings, heartfelt devotionals, and collective prayers that draw you into the heart of God's love. Embark on this year-long voyage through the Bible, and let each day's passage uplift and inspire you. TODAY'S EPISODE: Welcome to the Daily Radio Bible! In today's episode, host Hunter guides us through day 188 of our journey, focusing on Hosea chapters 6 through 9 and Hebrews chapter 3. Together, we explore the deep longing of God for His people to return to Him, His desire for them to know Him rather than just perform rituals, and the painful consequences of turning away from His love. As the readings unfold, we're reminded of the invitation to rest—true rest that only comes from trusting in Christ, who has made a way for us, where prophets and priests could not. Hunter reflects on the simplicity and challenge of entering into God's rest, urging us to move beyond fear and striving, to receive the peace that God offers. The episode closes with prayers for daily faithfulness, unity, and a call to find renewal and hope in God's creation. Join us as we lift our hearts together and remember that, no matter where we are in life's journey, we are deeply loved. TODAY'S DEVOTION: TODAY'S PRAYERS: Lord God Almighty and everlasting father you have brought us in safety to this new day preserve us with your Mighty power that we might not fall into sin or be overcome by adversity. And in all we do, direct us to the fulfilling of your purpose  through Jesus Christ Our Lord amen.   Oh God you have made of one blood all the peoples of the earth and sent your blessed son to preach peace to those who are far and those who are near. Grant that people everywhere may seek after you, and find you. Bring the nations into your fold, pour out your Spirit on all flesh, and hasten the coming of your kingdom through Jesus Christ our Lord, Amen.   And now Lord,  make me an instrument of your peace.  Where there is hatred let me sow love. Where there is injury, pardon.  Where there is doubt, faith. Where there is despair, hope.  Where there is darkness, light.  And where there is sadness,  Joy.  Oh Lord grant that I might not seek to be consoled as to console. To be understood as to understand, to be loved as to love.  For it is in the giving that we receive, in the pardoning that we are pardoned, it is in the dying that we are born unto eternal life.  Amen And now as our Lord has taught us we are bold to pray... Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name, thy kingdom come thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven, give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our tresspasses as we forgive those who trespass against us, and lead us not unto temptation, but deliver us from evil, for thine is the Kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen. Loving God, we give you thanks for restoring us in your image. And nourishing us with spiritual food, now send us forth as forgiven people, healed and renewed, that we may proclaim your love to the world, and continue in the risen life of Christ.  Amen.  OUR WEBSITE: www.dailyradiobible.com We are reading through the New Living Translation.   Leave us a voicemail HERE: https://www.speakpipe.com/dailyradiobible Subscribe to us at YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Dailyradiobible/featured OTHER PODCASTS: Listen with Apple Podcast DAILY BIBLE FOR KIDS DAILY PSALMS DAILY PROVERBS DAILY LECTIONARY DAILY CHRONOLOGICAL  

Frances Wilson has written biographies of Dorothy Wordsworth, Thomas De Quincey, D.H. Lawrence, and, most recently, Muriel Spark. I thought Electric Spark was excellent. In my review, I wrote: “Wilson has done far more than string the facts together. She has created a strange and vivid portrait of one of the most curious of twentieth century novelists.” In this interview, we covered questions like why Thomas De Quincey is more widely read, why D.H. Lawrence's best books aren't his novels, Frances's conversion to spookiness, what she thinks about a whole range of modern biographers, literature and parasocial relationships, Elizabeth Bowen, George Meredith, and plenty about Muriel Spark.Here are two brief extracts. There is a full transcript below.Henry: De Quincey and Lawrence were the people you wrote about before Muriel Spark, and even though they seem like three very different people, but in their own way, they're all a little bit mad, aren't they?Frances: Yes, that is, I think, something that they have in common. It's something that I'm drawn to. I like writing about difficult people. I don't think I could write about anyone who wasn't difficult. I like difficult people in general. I like the fact that they pose a puzzle and they're hard to crack, and that their difficulty is laid out in their work and as a code. I like tackling really, really stubborn personalities as well. Yes, they were all a bit mad. The madness was what fuelled their journeys without doubt.Henry: This must make it very hard as a biographer. Is there always a code to be cracked, or are you sometimes dealing with someone who is slippery and protean and uncrackable?And.Henry: People listening will be able to tell that Spark is a very spooky person in several different ways. She had what I suppose we would call spiritual beliefs to do with ghosts and other sorts of things. You had a sort of conversion of your own while writing this book, didn't you?Frances: Yes, I did. [laughs] Every time I write a biography, I become very, very, very immersed in who I'm writing about. I learned this from Richard Holmes, who I see as a method biographer. He Footsteps his subjects. He becomes his subjects. I think I recognized when I first read Holmes's Coleridge, when I was a student, that this was how I also wanted to live. I wanted to live inside the minds of the people that I wrote about, because it was very preferable to live inside my own mind. Why not live inside the mind of someone really, really exciting, one with genius?What I felt with Spark wasn't so much that I was immersed by-- I wasn't immersed by her. I felt actually possessed by her. I think this is the Spark effect. I think a lot of her friends felt like this. I think that her lovers possibly felt like this. There is an extraordinary force to her character, which absolutely lives on, even though she's dead, but only recently dead. The conversion I felt, I think, was that I have always been a very enlightenment thinker, very rational, very scientific, very Freudian in my approach to-- I will acknowledge the unconscious but no more.By the time I finished with Spark, I'm pure woo-woo now.TranscriptHenry: Today, I am talking to Frances Wilson. Frances is a biographer. Her latest book, Electric Spark, is a biography of the novelist Muriel Spark, but she has also written about Dorothy Wordsworth, Thomas De Quincey, DH Lawrence and others. Frances, welcome.Frances Wilson: Thank you so much for having me on.Henry: Why don't more people read Thomas De Quincey's work?Frances: [laughs] Oh, God. We're going right into the deep end.[laughter]Frances: I think because there's too much of it. When I chose to write about Thomas De Quincey, I just followed one thread in his writing because Thomas De Quincey was an addict. One of the things he was addicted to was writing. He wrote far, far, far too much. He was a professional hack. He was a transcendental hack, if you like, because all of his writing he did while on opium, which made the sentences too long and too high and very, very hard to read.When I wrote about him, I just followed his interest in murder. He was fascinated by murder as a fine art. The title of one of his best essays is On Murder as One of the Fine Arts. I was also interested in his relationship with Wordsworth. I twinned those together, which meant cutting out about 97% of the rest of his work. I think people do read his Confessions of an English Opium-Eater. I think that's a cult text. It was the memoir, if you want to call it a memoir, that kick-started the whole pharmaceutical memoir business on drugs.It was also the first addict's memoir and the first recovery memoir, and I'd say also the first misery memoir. He's very much at the root of English literary culture. We're all De Quincey-an without knowing it, is my argument.Henry: Oh, no, I fully agree. That's what surprises me, that they don't read him more often.Frances: I know it's a shame, isn't it? Of all the Romantic Circle, he's the one who's the most exciting to read. Also, Lamb is wonderfully exciting to read as well, but Lamb's a tiny little bit more grounded than De Quincey, who was literally not grounded. He's floating in an opium haze above you.[laughter]Henry: What I liked about your book was the way you emphasized the book addiction, not just the opium addiction. It is shocking the way he piled up chests full of books and notebooks, and couldn't get into the room because there were too many books in there. He was [crosstalk].Frances: Yes. He had this in common with Muriel Spark. He was a hoarder, but in a much more chaotic way than Spark, because, as you say, he piled up rooms with papers and books until he couldn't get into the room, and so just rented another room. He was someone who had no money at all. The no money he had went on paying rent for rooms, storing what we would be giving to Oxfam, or putting in the recycling bin. Then he'd forget that he was paying rent on all these rooms filled with his mountains of paper. The man was chaos.Henry: What is D.H. Lawrence's best book?Frances: Oh, my argument about Lawrence is that we've gone very badly wrong in our reading of him, in seeing him primarily as a novelist and only secondarily as an essayist and critic and short story writer, and poet. This is because of F.R. Leavis writing that celebration of him called D.H. Lawrence: Novelist, because novels are not the best of Lawrence. I think the best of his novels is absolutely, without doubt, Sons and Lovers. I think we should put the novels in the margins and put in the centre, the poems, travel writing.Absolutely at the centre of the centre should be his studies in classic American literature. His criticism was- We still haven't come to terms with it. It was so good. We haven't heard all of Lawrence's various voices yet. When Lawrence was writing, contemporaries didn't think of Lawrence as a novelist at all. It was anyone's guess what he was going to come out with next. Sometimes it was a novel [laughs] and it was usually a rant about-- sometimes it was a prophecy. Posterity has not treated Lawrence well in any way, but I think where we've been most savage to him is in marginalizing his best writing.Henry: The short fiction is truly extraordinary.Frances: Isn't it?Henry: I always thought Lawrence was someone I didn't want to read, and then I read the short fiction, and I was just obsessed.Frances: It's because in the short fiction, he doesn't have time to go wrong. I think brevity was his perfect length. Give him too much space, and you know he's going to get on his soapbox and start ranting, start mansplaining. He was a terrible mansplainer. Mansplaining his versions of what had gone wrong in the world. It is like a drunk at the end of a too-long dinner party, and you really want to just bundle him out. Give him only a tiny bit of space, and he comes out with the perfection that is his writing.Henry: De Quincey and Lawrence were the people you wrote about before Muriel Spark, and even though they seem like three very different people, but in their own way, they're all a little bit mad, aren't they?Frances: Yes, that is, I think, something that they have in common. It's something that I'm drawn to. I like writing about difficult people. I don't think I could write about anyone who wasn't difficult. I like difficult people in general. I like the fact that they pose a puzzle and they're hard to crack, and that their difficulty is laid out in their work and as a code. I like tackling really, really stubborn personalities as well. Yes, they were all a bit mad. The madness was what fuelled their journeys without doubt.Henry: This must make it very hard as a biographer. Is there always a code to be cracked, or are you sometimes dealing with someone who is slippery and protean and uncrackable?Frances: I think that the way I approach biography is that there is a code to crack, but I'm not necessarily concerned with whether I crack it or not. I think it's just recognizing that there's a hell of a lot going on in the writing and that, in certain cases and not in every case at all, the best way of exploring the psyche of the writer and the complexity of the life is through the writing, which is a argument for psycho biography, which isn't something I necessarily would argue for, because it can be very, very crude.I think with the writers I choose, there is no option. Muriel Spark argued for this as well. She said in her own work as a biographer, which was really very, very strong. She was a biographer before she became a novelist. She thought hard about biography and absolutely in advance of anyone else who thought about biography, she said, "Of course, the only way we can approach the minds of writers is through their work, and the writer's life is encoded in the concerns of their work."When I was writing about Muriel Spark, I followed, as much as I could, to the letter, her own theories of biography, believing that that was part of the code that she left. She said very, very strong and very definitive things about what biography was about and how to write a biography. I tried to follow those rules.Henry: Can we play a little game where I say the names of some biographers and you tell me what you think of them?Frances: Oh my goodness. Okay.Henry: We're not trying to get you into trouble. We just want some quick opinions. A.N. Wilson.Frances: I think he's wonderful as a biographer. I think he's unzipped and he's enthusiastic and he's unpredictable and he's often off the rails. I think his Goethe biography-- Have you read the Goethe biography?Henry: Yes, I thought that was great.Frances: It's just great, isn't it? It's so exciting. I like the way that when he writes about someone, it's almost as if he's memorized the whole of their work.Henry: Yes.Frances: You don't imagine him sitting at a desk piled with books and having to score through his marginalia. It sits in his head, and he just pours it down on a page. I'm always excited by an A.N. Wilson biography. He is one of the few biographers who I would read regardless of who the subject was.Henry: Yes.Frances: I just want to read him.Henry: He does have good range.Frances: He absolutely does have good range.Henry: Selina Hastings.Frances: I was thinking about Selina Hastings this morning, funnily enough, because I had been talking to people over the weekend about her Sybil Bedford biography and why that hadn't lifted. She wrote a very excitingly good life of Nancy Mitford and then a very unexcitingly not good life of Sybil Bedford. I was interested in why the Sybil Bedford simply hadn't worked. I met people this weekend who were saying the same thing, that she was a very good biographer who had just failed [laughs] to give us anything about Sybil Bedford.I think what went wrong in that biography was that she just could not give us her opinions. It's as if she just withdrew from her subject as if she was writing a Wikipedia entry. There were no opinions at all. What the friends I was talking to said was that she just fell out with her subject during the book. That's what happened. She stopped being interested in her. She fell out with her and therefore couldn't be bothered. That's what went wrong.Henry: Interesting. I think her Evelyn Waugh biography is superb.Frances: Yes, I absolutely agree. She was on fire until this last one.Henry: That's one of the best books on Waugh, I think.Frances: Yes.Henry: Absolutely magical.Frances: I also remember, it's a very rare thing, of reading a review of it by Hilary Mantel saying that she had not read a biography that had been as good, ever, as Selina Hastings' on Evelyn Waugh. My goodness, that's high praise, isn't it?Henry: Yes, it is. It is. I'm always trying to push that book on people. Richard Holmes.Frances: He's my favourite. He's the reason that I'm a biographer at all. I think his Coleridge, especially the first volume of the two-volume Coleridge, is one of the great books. It left me breathless when I read it. It was devastating. I also think that his Johnson and Savage book is one of the great books. I love Footsteps as well, his account of the books he didn't write in Footsteps. I think he has a strange magic. When Muriel Spark talked about certain writers and critics having a sixth literary sense, which meant that they tuned into language and thought in a way that the rest of us don't, I think that Richard Holmes does have that. I think he absolutely has it in relation to Coleridge. I'm longing for his Tennyson to come out.Henry: Oh, I know. I know.Frances: Oh, I just can't wait. I'm holding off on reading Tennyson until I've got Holmes to help me read him. Yes, he is quite extraordinary.Henry: I would have given my finger to write the Johnson and Savage book.Frances: Yes, I know. I agree. How often do you return to it?Henry: Oh, all the time. All the time.Frances: Me too.Henry: Michael Holroyd.Frances: Oh, that's interesting, Michael Holroyd, because I think he's one of the great unreads. I think he's in this strange position of being known as a greatest living biographer, but nobody's read him on Augustus John. [laughs] I haven't read his biographies cover to cover because they're too long and it's not in my subject area, but I do look in them, and they're novelistic in their wit and complexity. His sentences are very, very, very entertaining, and there's a lot of freight in each paragraph. I hope that he keeps selling.I love his essays as well, and also, I think that he has been a wonderful ambassador for biography. He's very, very supportive of younger biographers, which not every biographer is, but I know he's been very supportive of younger biographers and is incredibly approachable.Henry: Let's do a few Muriel Spark questions. Why was the Book of Job so important to Muriel Spark?Frances: I think she liked it because it was rogue, because it was the only book of the Bible that wasn't based on any evidence, it wasn't based on any truth. It was a fictional book, and she liked fiction sitting in the middle of fact. That was one of her main things, as all Spark lovers know. She liked the fact that there was this work of pure imagination and extraordinarily powerful imagination sitting in the middle of the Old Testament, and also, she thought it was an absolutely magnificent poem.She saw herself primarily as a poet, and she responded to it as a poem, which, of course, it is. Also, she liked God in it. She described Him as the Incredible Hulk [laughs] and she liked His boastfulness. She enjoyed, as I do, difficult personalities, and she liked the fact that God had such an incredibly difficult personality. She liked the fact that God boasted and boasted and boasted, "I made this and I made that," to Job, but also I think she liked the fact that you hear God's voice.She was much more interested in voices than she was in faces. The fact that God's voice comes out of the burning bush, I think it was an image for her of early radio, this voice speaking, and she liked the fact that what the voice said was tricksy and touchy and impossibly arrogant. He gives Moses all these instructions to lead the Israelites, and Moses says, "But who shall I say sent me? Who are you?" He says, "I am who I am." [laughs] She thought that was completely wonderful. She quotes that all the time about herself. She says, "I know it's a bit large quoting God, but I am who I am." [laughs]Henry: That disembodied voice is very important to her fiction.Frances: Yes.Henry: It's the telephone in Memento Mori.Frances: Yes.Henry: Also, to some extent, tell me what you think of this, the narrator often acts like that.Frances: Like this disembodied voice?Henry: Yes, like you're supposed to feel like you're not quite sure who's telling you this or where you're being told it from. That's why it gets, like in The Ballad of Peckham Rye or something, very weird.Frances: Yes. I'm waiting for the PhD on Muriel Sparks' narrators. Maybe it's being done as we speak, but she's very, very interested in narrators and the difference between first-person and third-person. She was very keen on not having warm narrators, to put it mildly. She makes a strong argument throughout her work for the absence of the seductive narrative. Her narratives are, as we know, unbelievably seductive, but not because we are being flattered as readers and not because the narrator makes herself or himself pretty. The narrator says what they feel like saying, withholds most of what you would like them to say, plays with us, like in a Spark expression, describing her ideal narrator like a cat with a bird [laughs].Henry: I like that. Could she have been a novelist if she had not become a Catholic?Frances: No, she couldn't. The two things happened at the same time. I wonder, actually, whether she became a Catholic in order to become a novelist. It wasn't that becoming a novelist was an accidental effect of being a Catholic. The conversion was, I think, from being a biographer to a novelist rather than from being an Anglican to a Catholic. What happened is a tremendous interest. I think it's the most interesting moment in any life that I've ever written about is the moment of Sparks' conversion because it did break her life in two.She converted when she was in her mid-30s, and several things happened at once. She converted to Catholicism, she became a Catholic, she became a novelist, but she also had this breakdown. The breakdown was very much part of that conversion package. The breakdown was brought on, she says, by taking Dexys. There was slimming pills, amphetamines. She wanted to lose weight. She put on weight very easily, and her weight went up and down throughout her life.She wanted to take these diet pills, but I think she was also taking the pills because she needed to do all-nighters, because she never, ever, ever stopped working. She was addicted to writing, but also she was impoverished and she had to sell her work, and she worked all night. She was in a rush to get her writing done because she'd wasted so much of her life in her early 20s, in a bad marriage trapped in Africa. She needed to buy herself time. She was on these pills, which have terrible side effects, one of which is hallucinations.I think there were other reasons for her breakdown as well. She was very, very sensitive and I think psychologically fragile. Her mother lived in a state of mental fragility, too. She had a crash when she finished her book. She became depressed. Of course, a breakdown isn't the same as depression, but what happened to her in her breakdown was a paranoid attack rather than a breakdown. She didn't crack into nothing and then have to rebuild herself. She just became very paranoid. That paranoia was always there.Again, it's what's exciting about her writing. She was drawn to paranoia in other writers. She liked Cardinal Newman's paranoia. She liked Charlotte Brontë's paranoia, and she had paranoia. During her paranoid attack, she felt very, very interestingly, because nothing that happened in her life was not interesting, that T.S. Eliot was sending her coded messages. He was encoding these messages in his play, The Confidential Clerk, in the program notes to the play, but also in the blurbs he wrote for Faber and Faber, where he was an editor. These messages were very malign and they were encoded in anagrams.The word lived, for example, became devil. I wonder whether one of the things that happened during her breakdown wasn't that she discovered God, but that she met the devil. I don't think that that's unusual as a conversion experience. In fact, the only conversion experience she ever describes, you'll remember, is in The Girls of Slender Means, when she's describing Nicholas Farrington's conversion. That's the only conversion experience she ever describes. She says that his conversion is when he sees one of the girls leaving the burning building, holding a Schiaparelli dress. Suddenly, he's converted because he's seen a vision of evil.She says, "Conversion can be as a result of a recognition of evil, rather than a recognition of good." I think that what might have happened in this big cocktail of things that happened to her during her breakdown/conversion, is that a writer whom she had idolized, T.S. Eliot, who taught her everything that she needed to know about the impersonality of art. Her narrative coldness comes from Eliot, who thought that emotions had no place in art because they were messy, and art should be clean.I think a writer whom she had idolized, she suddenly felt was her enemy because she was converting from his church, because he was an Anglo-Catholic. He was a high Anglican, and she was leaving Anglo-Catholicism to go through the Rubicon, to cross the Rubicon into Catholicism. She felt very strongly that that is something he would not have approved of.Henry: She's also leaving poetry to become a prose writer.Frances: She was leaving his world of poetry. That's absolutely right.Henry: This is a very curious parallel because the same thing exactly happens to De Quincey with his worship of Wordsworth.Frances: You're right.Henry: They have the same obsessive mania. Then this, as you say, not quite a breakdown, but a kind of explosive mania in the break. De Quincey goes out and destroys that mossy hut or whatever it is in the orchard, doesn't he?Frances: Yes, that disgusting hut in the orchard. Yes, you're completely right. What fascinated me about De Quincey, and this was at the heart of the De Quincey book, was how he had been guided his whole life by Wordsworth. He discovered Wordsworth as a boy when he read We Are Seven, that very creepy poem about a little girl sitting on her sibling's grave, describing the sibling as still alive. For De Quincey, who had lost his very adored sister, he felt that Wordsworth had seen into his soul and that Wordsworth was his mentor and his lodestar.He worshipped Wordsworth as someone who understood him and stalked Wordsworth, pursued and stalked him. When he met him, what he discovered was a man without any redeeming qualities at all. He thought he was a dry monster, but it didn't stop him loving the work. In fact, he loved the work more and more. What threw De Quincey completely was that there was such a difference between Wordsworth, the man who had no genius, and Wordsworth, the poet who had nothing but.Eliot described it, the difference between the man who suffers and the mind which creates. What De Quincey was trying to deal with was the fact that he adulated the work, but was absolutely appalled by the man. Yes, you're right, this same experience happened to spark when she began to feel that T.S. Eliot, whom she had never met, was a malign person, but the work was still not only of immense importance to her, but the work had formed her.Henry: You see the Wasteland all over her own work and the shared Dante obsession.Frances: Yes.Henry: It's remarkably strong. She got to the point of thinking that T.S. Eliot was breaking into her house.Frances: Yes. As I said, she had this paranoid imagination, but also what fired her imagination and what repeated itself again and again in the imaginative scenarios that recur in her fiction and nonfiction is the idea of the intruder. It was the image of someone rifling around in cupboards, drawers, looking at manuscripts. This image, you first find it in a piece she wrote about finding herself completely coincidentally, staying the night during the war in the poet Louis MacNeice's house. She didn't know it was Louis MacNeice's house, but he was a poet who was very, very important to her.Spark's coming back from visiting her parents in Edinburgh in 1944. She gets talking to an au pair on the train. By the time they pull into Houston, there's an air raid, and the au pair says, "Come and spend the night at mine. My employers are away and they live nearby in St. John's Wood." Spark goes to this house and sees it's packed with books and papers, and she's fascinated by the quality of the material she finds there.She looks in all the books. She goes into the attic, and she looks at all the papers, and she asks the au pair whose house it is, and the au pair said, "Oh, he's a professor called Professor Louis MacNeice." Spark had just been reading Whitney. He's one of her favourite poets. She retells this story four times in four different forms, as non-fiction, as fiction, as a broadcast, as reflections, but the image that keeps coming back, what she can't get rid of, is the idea of herself as snooping around in this poet's study.She describes herself, in one of the versions, as trying to draw from his papers his power as a writer. She says she sniffs his pens, she puts her hands over his papers, telling herself, "I must become a writer. I must become a writer." Then she makes this weird anonymous phone call. She loved the phone because it was the most strange form of electrical device. She makes a weird anonymous phone call to an agent, saying, "I'm ringing from Louis MacNeice's house, would you like to see my manuscript?" She doesn't give her name, and the agent says yes.Now I don't believe this phone call took place. I think it's part of Sparks' imagination. This idea of someone snooping around in someone else's room was very, very powerful to her. Then she transposed it in her paranoid attack about T.S. Eliot. She transposed the image that Eliot was now in her house, but not going through her papers, but going through her food cupboards. [laughs] In her food cupboards, all she actually had was baked beans because she was a terrible cook. Part of her unwellness at that point was malnutrition. No, she thought that T.S. Eliot was spying on her. She was obsessed with spies. Spies, snoopers, blackmailers.Henry: T.S. Eliot is Stealing My Baked Beans would have been a very good title for a memoir.Frances: It actually would, wouldn't it?Henry: Yes, it'd be great.[laughter]Henry: People listening will be able to tell that Spark is a very spooky person in several different ways. She had what I suppose we would call spiritual beliefs to do with ghosts and other sorts of things. You had a sort of conversion of your own while writing this book, didn't you?Frances: Yes, I did. [laughs] Every time I write a biography, I become very, very, very immersed in who I'm writing about. I learned this from Richard Holmes, who I see as a method biographer. He Footsteps his subjects. He becomes his subjects. I think I recognized when I first read Holmes's Coleridge, when I was a student, that this was how I also wanted to live. I wanted to live inside the minds of the people that I wrote about, because it was very preferable to live inside my own mind. Why not live inside the mind of someone really, really exciting, one with genius?What I felt with Spark wasn't so much that I was immersed by-- I wasn't immersed by her. I felt actually possessed by her. I think this is the Spark effect. I think a lot of her friends felt like this. I think that her lovers possibly felt like this. There is an extraordinary force to her character, which absolutely lives on, even though she's dead, but only recently dead. The conversion I felt, I think, was that I have always been a very enlightenment thinker, very rational, very scientific, very Freudian in my approach to-- I will acknowledge the unconscious but no more.By the time I finished with Spark, I'm pure woo-woo now. Anything can happen. This is one of the reasons Spark was attracted to Catholicism because anything can happen, because it legitimizes the supernatural. I felt so strongly that the supernatural experiences that Spark had were real, that what Spark was describing as the spookiness of our own life were things that actually happened.One of the things I found very, very unsettling about her was that everything that happened to her, she had written about first. She didn't describe her experiences in retrospect. She described them as in foresight. For example, her first single authored published book, because she wrote for a while in collaboration with her lover, Derek Stanford, but her first single authored book was a biography of Mary Shelley.Henry: Great book.Frances: An absolutely wonderful book, which really should be better than any of the other Mary Shelley biographies. She completely got to Mary Shelley. Everything she described in Mary Shelley's life would then happen to Spark. For example, she described Mary Shelley as having her love letters sold. Her lover sold Mary Shelley's love letters, and Mary Shelley was then blackmailed by the person who bought them. This happened to Spark. She described Mary Shelley's closest friends all becoming incredibly jealous of her literary talent. This happened to Spark. She described trusting people who betrayed her. This happened to Spark.Spark was the first person to write about Frankenstein seriously, to treat Frankenstein as a masterpiece rather than as a one-off weird novel that is actually just the screenplay for a Hammer Horror film. This was 1951, remember. Everything she described in Frankenstein as its power is a hybrid text, described the powerful hybrid text that she would later write about. What fascinated her in Frankenstein was the relationship between the creator and the monster, and which one was the monster. This is exactly the story of her own life. I think where she is. She was really interested in art monsters and in the fact that the only powerful writers out there, the only writers who make a dent, are monsters.If you're not a monster, you're just not competing. I think Spark has always spoken about as having a monster-like quality. She says at the end of one of her short stories, Bang-bang You're Dead, "Am I an intellectual woman, or am I a monster?" It's the question that is frequently asked of Spark. I think she worked so hard to monsterize herself. Again, she learnt this from Elliot. She learnt her coldness from Elliot. She learnt indifference from Elliot. There's a very good letter where she's writing to a friend, Shirley Hazzard, in New York.It's after she discovers that her lover, Derek Stanford, has sold her love letters, 70 love letters, which describe two very, very painfully raw, very tender love letters. She describes to Shirley Hazzard this terrible betrayal. She says, "But, I'm over it. I'm over it now. Now I'm just going to be indifferent." She's telling herself to just be indifferent about this. You watch her tutoring herself into the indifference that she needed in order to become the artist that she knew she was.Henry: Is this why she's attracted to mediocrities, because she can possess them and monsterize them, and they're good feeding for her artistic programme?Frances: Her attraction to mediocrities is completely baffling, and it makes writing her biography, a comedy, because the men she was surrounded by were so speck-like. Saw themselves as so important, but were, in fact, so speck-like that you have to laugh, and it was one after another after another. I'd never come across, in my life, so many men I'd never heard of. This was the literary world that she was surrounded by. It's odd, I don't know whether, at the time, she knew how mediocre these mediocrities were.She certainly recognised it in her novels where they're all put together into one corporate personality called the pisseur de copie in A Far Cry from Kensington, where every single literary mediocrity is in that critic who she describes as pissing and vomiting out copy. With Derek Stanford, who was obviously no one's ever heard of now, because he wrote nothing that was memorable, he was her partner from the end of the 40s until-- They ceased their sexual relationship when she started to be interested in becoming a Catholic in 1953, but she was devoted to him up until 1958. She seemed to be completely incapable of recognising that she had the genius and he had none.Her letters to him deferred to him, all the time, as having literary powers that she hadn't got, as having insights that she hadn't got, he's better read than she was. She was such an amazingly good critic. Why could she not see when she looked at his baggy, bad prose that it wasn't good enough? She rated him so highly. When she was co-authoring books with him, which was how she started her literary career, they would occasionally write alternative sentences. Some of her sentences are always absolutely-- they're sharp, lean, sparkling, and witty, and his are way too long and really baggy and they don't say anything. Obviously, you can see that she's irritated by it.She still doesn't say, "Look, I'm going now." It was only when she became a novelist that she said, "I want my mind to myself." She puts, "I want my mind to myself." She didn't want to be in a double act with him. Doubles were important to her. She didn't want to be in a double act with him anymore. He obviously had bought into her adulation of him and hadn't recognised that she had this terrifying power as a writer. It was now his turn to have the breakdown. Spark had the mental breakdown in 1950, '45. When her first novel came out in 1957, it was Stanford who had the breakdown because he couldn't take on board who she was as a novelist.What he didn't know about her as a novelist was her comic sense, how that would fuel the fiction, but also, he didn't recognize because he reviewed her books badly. He didn't recognise that the woman who had been so tender, vulnerable, and loving with him could be this novelist who had nothing to say about tenderness or love. In his reviews, he says, "Why are her characters so cold?" because he thought that she should be writing from the core of her as a human being rather than the core of her as an intellect.Henry: What are her best novels?Frances: Every one I read, I think this has to be the best.[laughter]This is particularly the case in the early novels, where I'm dazzled by The Comforters and think there cannot have been a better first novel of the 20th century or even the 21st century so far. The Comforters. Then read Robinson, her second novel, and think, "Oh God, no, that is her best novel. Then Memento Mori, I think, "Actually, that must be the best novel of the 20th century." [laughs] Then you move on to The Ballad of Peckham Rye, I think, "No, that's even better."The novels landed. It's one of the strange things about her; it took her so long to become a novelist. When she had become one, the novels just landed. Once in one year, two novels landed. In 1959, she had, it was The Bachelors and The Ballad of Peckham Rye, both just completely extraordinary. The novels had been the storing up, and then they just fell on the page. They're different, but samey. They're samey in as much as they're very, very, very clever. They're clever about Catholicism, and they have the same narrative wit. My God, do the plots work in different ways. She was wonderful at plots. She was a great plotter. She liked plots in both senses of the world.She liked the idea of plotting against someone, also laying a plot. She was, at the same time, absolutely horrified by being caught inside someone's plot. That's what The Comforters is about, a young writer called Caroline Rose, who has a breakdown, it's a dramatisation of Sparks' own breakdown, who has a breakdown, and believes that she is caught inside someone else's story. She is a typewriter repeating all of her thoughts. Typewriter and a chorus repeating all of her thoughts.What people say about The Comforters is that Caroline Rose thought she is a heroine of a novel who finds herself trapped in a novel. Actually, if you read what Caroline Rose says in the novel, she doesn't think she's trapped in a novel; she thinks she's trapped in a biography. "There is a typewriter typing the story of our lives," she says to her boyfriend. "Of our lives." Muriel Sparks' first book was about being trapped in a biography, which is, of course, what she brought on herself when she decided to trap herself in a biography. [laughs]Henry: I think I would vote for Loitering with Intent, The Girls of Slender Means as my favourites. I can see that Memento Mori is a good book, but I don't love it, actually.Frances: Really? Interesting. Okay. I completely agree with you about-- I think Loitering with Intent is my overall favourite. Don't you find every time you read it, it's a different book? There are about 12 books I've discovered so far in that book. She loved books inside books, but every time I read it, I think, "Oh my God, it's changed shape again. It's a shape-shifting novel."Henry: We all now need the Frances Wilson essay about the 12 books inside Loitering with Intent.Frances: I know.[laughter]Henry: A few more general questions to close. Did Thomas De Quincey waste his talents?Frances: I wouldn't have said so. I think that's because every single day of his life, he was on opium.Henry: I think the argument is a combination of too much opium and also too much magazine work and not enough "real serious" philosophy, big poems, whatever.Frances: I think the best of his work went into Blackwood's, so the magazine work. When he was taken on by Blackwood's, the razor-sharp Edinburgh magazine, then the best of his work took place. I think that had he only written the murder essays, that would have been enough for me, On Murder as a Fine Art.That was enough. I don't need any more of De Quincey. I think Confessions of an English Opium-Eater is also enough in as much as it's the great memoir of addiction. We don't need any more memoirs of addiction, just read that. It's not just a memoir of being addicted to opium. It's about being addicted to what's what. It's about being a super fan and addicted to writing. He was addicted to everything. If he was in AA now, they'd say, apparently, there are 12 addictions, he had all of them. [laughs]Henry: Yes. People talk a lot about parasocial relationships online, where you read someone online or you follow them, and you have this strange idea in your head that you know them in some way, even though they're just this disembodied online person. You sometimes see people say, "Oh, we should understand this more." I think, "Well, read the history of literature, parasocial relationships everywhere."Frances: That's completely true. I hadn't heard that term before. The history of literature, a parasocial relationship. That's your next book.Henry: There we go. I think what I want from De Quincey is more about Shakespeare, because I think the Macbeth essay is superb.Frances: Absolutely brilliant. On Knocking at the Gate in Macbeth.Henry: Yes, and then you think, "Wait, where's the rest of this book? There should be an essay about every play."Frances: That's an absolutely brilliant example of microhistory, isn't it? Just taking a moment in a play, just the knocking at the gate, the morning after the murders, and blowing that moment up, so it becomes the whole play. Oh, my God, it's good. You're right.Henry: It's so good. What is, I think, "important about it", is that in the 20th century, critics started saying or scholars started saying a lot, "We can't just look at the words on the page. We've got to think about the dramaturgy. We've got to really, really think about how it plays out." De Quincey was an absolute master of that. It's really brilliant.Frances: Yes.Henry: What's your favourite modern novel or novelist?Frances: Oh, Hilary Mantel, without doubt, I think. I think we were lucky enough to live alongside a great, great, great novelist. I think the Wolf Hall trilogy is absolutely the greatest piece of narrative fiction that's come out of the 21st century. I also love her. I love her work as an essayist. I love her. She's spooky like Spark. She was inspired.Henry: Yes, she is. Yes.Frances: She learnt a lot of her cunning from Spark, I think. She's written a very spooky memoir. In fact, the only women novelists who acknowledge Spark as their influencer are Ali Smith and Hilary Mantel, although you can see Spark in William Boyd all the time. I think we're pretty lucky to live alongside William Boyd as well. Looking for real, real greatness, I think there's no one to compare with Mantel. Do you agree?Henry: I don't like the third volume of the trilogy.Frances: Okay. Right.Henry: Yes, in general, I do agree. Yes. I think some people don't like historical fiction for a variety of reasons. It may take some time for her to get it. I think she's acknowledged as being really good. I don't know that she's yet acknowledged at the level that you're saying.Frances: Yes.Henry: I think that will take a little bit longer. Maybe as and when there's a biography that will help with that, which I'm sure there will be a biography.Frances: I think they need to wait. I do think it's important to wait for a reputation to settle before starting the biography. Her biography will be very interesting because she married the same man twice. Her growth as a novelist was so extraordinary. Spark, she spent time in Africa. She had this terrible, terrible illness. She knew something. I think what I love about Mantel is, as with Spark, she knew something. She knew something, and she didn't quite know what it was that she knew. She had to write because of this knowledge. When you read her, you know that she's on a different level of understanding.Henry: You specialise in slightly neglected figures of English literature. Who else among the canonical writers deserves a bit more attention?Frances: Oh, that's interesting. I love minor characters. I think Spark was very witty about describing herself as a minor novelist or a writer of minor novels when she was evidently major. She always saw the comedy in being a minor. All the minor writers interest me. Elizabeth Bowen, Henry Green. No, they have heard Elizabeth Bowen has been treated well by Hermione Lee and Henry Green has been treated well by Jeremy Treglown.Why are they not up there yet? They're so much better than most of their contemporaries. I am mystified and fascinated by why it is that the most powerful writers tend to be kicked into the long grass. It's dazzling. When you read a Henry Green novel, you think, "But this is what it's all about. He's understood everything about what the novel can do. Why has no one heard of him?"Henry: I think Elizabeth Bowen's problem is that she's so concise, dense, and well-structured, and everything really plays its part in the pattern of the whole that it's not breezy reading.Frances: No, it's absolutely not.Henry: I think that probably holds her back in some way, even though when I have pushed it on people, most of the time they've said, "Gosh, she's a genius."Frances: Yes.Henry: It's not an easy genius. Whereas Dickens, the pages sort of fly along, something like that.Frances: Yes. One of the really interesting things about Spark is that she really, really is easy reading. At the same time, there's so much freight in those books. There's so much intellectual weight and so many games being played. There's so many books inside the books. Yet you can just read them for the pleasure. You can just read them for the plot. You can read one in an afternoon and think that you've been lost inside a book for 10 years. You don't get that from Elizabeth Bowen. That's true. The novels, you feel the weight, don't you?Henry: Yes.Frances: She's Jamesian. She's more Jamesian, I think, than Spark is.Henry: Something like A World of Love, it requires quite a lot of you.Frances: Yes, it does. Yes, it's not bedtime reading.Henry: No, exactly.Frances: Sitting up in a library.Henry: Yes. Now, you mentioned James. You're a Henry James expert.Frances: I did my PhD on Henry James.Henry: Yes. Will you ever write about him?Frances: I have, actually. Just a little plug. I've just done a selection of James's short stories, three volumes, which are coming out, I think, later this year for Riverrun with a separate introduction for each volume. I think that's all the writing I'm going to do on James. When I was an academic, I did some academic essays on him for collections and things. No, I've never felt, ever, ready to write on James because he's too complicated. I can only take tiny, tiny bits of James and home in on them.Henry: He's a great one for trying to crack the code.Frances: He really is. In fact, I was struck all the way through writing Electric Spark by James's understanding of the comedy of biography, which is described in the figure in the carpet. Remember that wonderful story where there's a writer called Verica who explains to a young critic that none of the critics have understood what his work's about. Everything that's written about him, it's fine, but it's absolutely missed his main point, his beautiful point. He said that in order to understand what the work's about, you have to look for The Figure in the Carpet. It's The Figure in the CarpetIt's the string on which my pearls are strung. A couple of critics become completely obsessed with looking for this Figure in the Carpet. Of course, Spark loved James's short stories. You feel James's short stories playing inside her own short stories. I think that one of the games she left for her biographers was the idea of The Figure in the Carpet. Go on, find it then. Find it. [laughs] The string on which my pearls are strung.Henry: Why did you leave academia? We should say that you did this before it became the thing that everyone's doing.Frances: Is everyone leaving now?Henry: A lot of people are leaving now.Frances: Oh, I didn't know. I was ahead of the curve. I left 20 years ago because I wasn't able to write the books I wanted to write. I left when I'd written two books as an academic. My first was Literary Seductions, and my second was a biography of a blackmailing courtesan called Harriet Wilson, and the book was called The Courtesan's Revenge. My department was sniffy about the books because they were published by Faber and not by OUP, and suggested that somehow I was lowering the tone of the department.This is what things were like 20 years ago. Then I got a contract to write The Ballad of Dorothy Wordsworth, my third book, again with Faber. I didn't want to write the book with my head of department in the back of my mind saying, "Make this into an academic tome and put footnotes in." I decided then that I would leave, and I left very suddenly. Now, I said I'm leaving sort of now, and I've got books to write, and felt completely liberated. Then for The Ballad of Dorothy Wordsworth, I decided not to have footnotes. It's the only book I've ever written without footnotes, simply as a celebration of no longer being in academia.Then the things I loved about being in academia, I loved teaching, and I loved being immersed in literature, but I really couldn't be around colleagues and couldn't be around the ridiculous rules of what was seen as okay. In fact, the university I left, then asked me to come back on a 0.5 basis when they realised that it was now fashionable to have someone who was a trade author. They asked me to come back, which I did not want to do. I wanted to spend days where I didn't see people rather than days where I had to talk to colleagues all the time. I think that academia is very unhappy. The department I was in was incredibly unhappy.Since then, I took up a job very briefly in another English department where I taught creative writing part-time. That was also incredibly unhappy. I don't know whether other French departments or engineering departments are happier places than English departments, but English departments are the most unhappy places I think I've ever seen.[laughter]Henry: What do you admire about the work of George Meredith?Frances: Oh, I love George Meredith. [laughs] Yes. I think Modern Love, his first novel, Modern Love, in a strange sonnet form, where it's not 14 lines, but 16 lines. By the time you get to the bottom two lines, the novel, the sonnet has become hysterical. Modern Love hasn't been properly recognised. It's an account of the breakdown of his marriage. His wife, who was the daughter of the romantic, minor novelist, Thomas Love Peacock. His wife had an affair with the artist who painted the famous Death of Chatterton. Meredith was the model for Chatterton, the dead poet in his purple silks, with his hand falling on the ground. There's a lot of mythology around Meredith.I think, as with Elizabeth Bowen and Henry Green, he's difficult. He's difficult. The other week, I tried to reread Diana of the Crossways, which was a really important novel, and I still love it. I really recognise that it's not an easy read. He doesn't try, in any way, to seduce his readers. They absolutely have to crawl inside each book to sit inside his mind and see the world as he's seeing it.Henry: Can you tell us what you will do next?Frances: At the moment, I'm testing some ideas out. I feel, at the end of every biography, you need a writer. You need to cleanse your palate. Otherwise, there's a danger of writing the same book again. I need this time, I think, to write about, to move century and move genders. I want to go back, I think, to the 19th century. I want to write about a male writer for a moment, and possibly not a novelist as well, because after being immersed in Muriel Sparks' novels, no other novel is going to seem good enough. I'm testing 19th-century men who didn't write novels, and it will probably be a minor character.Henry: Whatever it is, I look forward to reading it. Frances Wilson, thank you very much.Frances: Thank you so much, Henry. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.commonreader.co.uk/subscribe

Click here for the DRB Daily Sign Up form! TODAY'S SCRIPTURE: 2 Kings 15-16; Hosea 1 ; Hebrews 1 Click HERE to give! Get Free App Here! One Year Bible Podcast: Join Hunter and Heather Barnes on 'The Daily Radio Bible' for a daily 20-minute spiritual journey. Engage with scripture readings, heartfelt devotionals, and collective prayers that draw you into the heart of God's love. Embark on this year-long voyage through the Bible, and let each day's passage uplift and inspire you. TODAY'S EPISODE: Welcome to the Daily Radio Bible, and happy Fourth of July to all our listeners tuning in today! In this episode, your host Hunter invites you to join him as he journeys through day 186 of the year, reading from 2 Kings 15 and 16, Hosea 1, and Hebrews 1. Together, you'll witness the tumultuous reigns of Israel and Judah's kings, the heartache and prophecy in the story of Hosea, and the ultimate message of hope and love declared in the opening chapter of Hebrews. Hunter encourages us to hear not just words of judgment, but Christ's words of belonging and love spoken over our lives. As you listen, you'll be guided through prayer, reflection, and a reminder that—no matter where you are or what day it is—you are truly loved. So grab your Bible, settle in, and let's let the Scripture shape our hearts today. TODAY'S DEVOTION: God's final word is not judgment, but life. Throughout the long story of Israel, we see a heartbreaking pattern—God reaching out in love through the prophets, but the people turning away again and again. The story we heard today, through the tragedy of Hosea and Gomer, is a vivid picture of this unfaithfulness: Israel behaving like a wayward spouse, wandering far from her first love. The consequences are deeply painful—names like “Not Loved” and “Not My People” are spoken over Israel, words that carry the weight of loss and separation from God. But God doesn't leave the story there. His final word to us isn't one of rejection or shame. The book of Hebrews begins by telling us that, though God once spoke through the prophets, now he has spoken to us by his Son. And the words that Christ speaks over us are utterly different. They are words of embrace, words of forgiveness and peace, words that say, “You are my people and you are loved.” Through Jesus, God has made a way for us to come home. Not by our own striving, not by following a set of laws or rituals, but by receiving the gift of his love and belonging poured out through Christ. The words that once named us “outsiders” are replaced by the words of the gospel: “Beloved, you belong.” Wherever the message of Jesus is received, hearts are changed. The reality of belonging, being chosen and loved by God, takes root deep inside, and everything changes. So today, hold fast to these words that Jesus speaks over you. Don't let the old words of judgment or shame take hold. Let the gospel's word—“You are mine, you are loved”—sink in and bring you peace. That is my prayer for my own soul today. That is my prayer for my family—for my wife, my daughters, my son. And that is my prayer for you. May it be so. TODAY'S PRAYERS: Lord God Almighty and everlasting father you have brought us in safety to this new day preserve us with your Mighty power that we might not fall into sin or be overcome by adversity. And in all we do, direct us to the fulfilling of your purpose  through Jesus Christ Our Lord amen.   Oh God you have made of one blood all the peoples of the earth and sent your blessed son to preach peace to those who are far and those who are near. Grant that people everywhere may seek after you, and find you. Bring the nations into your fold, pour out your Spirit on all flesh, and hasten the coming of your kingdom through Jesus Christ our Lord, Amen.   And now Lord,  make me an instrument of your peace.  Where there is hatred let me sow love. Where there is injury, pardon.  Where there is doubt, faith. Where there is despair, hope.  Where there is darkness, light.  And where there is sadness,  Joy.  Oh Lord grant that I might not seek to be consoled as to console. To be understood as to understand, to be loved as to love.  For it is in the giving that we receive, in the pardoning that we are pardoned, it is in the dying that we are born unto eternal life.  Amen And now as our Lord has taught us we are bold to pray... Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name, thy kingdom come thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven, give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our tresspasses as we forgive those who trespass against us, and lead us not unto temptation, but deliver us from evil, for thine is the Kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen. Loving God, we give you thanks for restoring us in your image. And nourishing us with spiritual food, now send us forth as forgiven people, healed and renewed, that we may proclaim your love to the world, and continue in the risen life of Christ.  Amen.  OUR WEBSITE: www.dailyradiobible.com We are reading through the New Living Translation.   Leave us a voicemail HERE: https://www.speakpipe.com/dailyradiobible Subscribe to us at YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Dailyradiobible/featured OTHER PODCASTS: Listen with Apple Podcast DAILY BIBLE FOR KIDS DAILY PSALMS DAILY PROVERBS DAILY LECTIONARY DAILY CHRONOLOGICAL  

Don Meets Pamela, the administrator of the rings.In 13 parts, By BradentonLarry - Listen to the Podcast at Explicit Novels.Sitting down next to them, furthest from the throne, and next to Nicole, Don asked, "Have I missed anything?""Well," Nicole leaned over and pointed, "see that little woman there?" She indicated a truly tiny woman, who had long light brown hair, in an unruly mane, relatively long legs, and who seemed vaguely Mediterranean to Don. She was riding up and down on the cock of an athletic guy not too far from the foot of the stairs. "While you were gone, three different guys have come and gone. She was giving blow job after blow job and each one came on her face and tits.""Nice," Don smiled."Right?" Nicole grinned as her hand slipped into Don's lap and began to idly caress his cock. Looking down he saw that her other hand was already busy between Stephanie's legs."And see that cute young thing over there," Nicole nodded, drawing Don's attention to a girl with short hair who seemed to be Japanese or Korean, and no older than the Nymphets. She was wrapped around a tall, black guy who was standing, holding her ass in hands as he raised her and lowered her on his cock. "A minute ago, there was another guy behind her, Oh, here comes another one!"Don watched as a tall, fit Asian guy with quite a few tattoos came up behind the young girl and seemed to begin fucking her ass. The girl seemed quite happy to be sandwiched there, and Don couldn't help remembering back to the Disco in the Manor when he had been behind Shelonda in a similar situation. He noticed that his cock was very hard in Nicole's hand. He decided it was time he returned the favor.Don turned to Nicole, who met him halfway with an open mouth. As they kissed, Don's hand moved up the inside of her smooth thigh to her moist labia. Nicole twisted around to give him easier access, and Don's fingers slipped up inside her."Oh, it's about time!" Stephanie laughed, as she turned to get in on the fun. As Nicole leaned back against her, so that Don could get down between her legs, Stephanie proceeded to kiss the side of Nicole's neck and reach around to tease her dark nipples.Soon, Nicole was arching her back as Don's tongue focused on her clit and his fingers moved in and out of her eager cunt, and Stephanie sat on her face, grinding down on Nicole's now very talented tongue. Both Don and Nicole were diligent and soon both women had intense orgasms, but Don wanted to make Stephanie come too, so the women happily switched places. Don dipped his tongue into Stephanie's slippery, moist folds, as Nicole positioned herself over Stephanie's mouth.Intent as he was upon giving Stephanie her second orgasm, Don didn't notice that a rather large man had come up to stand in front of Nicole, who responded by sucking happily on the cock that was offered her. It was only when Stephanie had stopped writhing under his ministrations, and Don got up to move into fucking her, that Don saw the man in front of Nicole. Right away he noticed the stereotypical royal robes and the crown on the man's head.Don had no idea what the etiquette of this situation demanded, but his majesty seemed happily occupied at the moment, and Don was the only one of his group who hadn't come yet. So, with a shrug and a smile, Don reached down and pushed himself into Stephanie's waiting cunt. She kept licking Nicole's cunt and clit as Don shoved himself deep into her, fucking her intently, needing to come. Don found himself admiring Nicole's back and cute ass as much as Stephanie's thin, muscular body and heaving tits. Then Stephanie's exquisitely talented cunt was pulling him deep into a shuddering orgasm, his cock pumping cum deep into her. Don clenched, shook, and trembled there, slowly catching his breath.Then Nicole was trembling between Stephanie's mouth and the regal stranger's cock as her second orgasm had its way with her little body. The man Don had assumed was the king held Nicole's head in place as she shook and groaned."Oh, yes! Very nice!" the big man smiled. He slowly stepped back, and then said, "Normally, sex up here isn't allowed, but you three looked so nice, and your mouth so inviting, my dear, that we made an exception. We're allowed to do that, of course."Don had gently withdrawn from Stephanie, as Nicole also carefully moved off her face."Your majesty, King of the Crimson Mountain?" Don asked as he helped Stephanie to her feet."Yes, that would be me, or we," the man chuckled. He was about six and a half feet tall and rather broad, not fat, but just built quite solidly. He had red hair, naturally, and Don was a bit surprised to note that his cock seemed a bit smaller than Don's.The king moved over to his throne and sat down, slouching back in it almost immediately. "You should really go down and join the party now, though," he said with a dismissive wave of his hand."But I believe we have come to see you, your grace," Don said quickly."And see us you have," the king nodded."Well, yes, but, ""Your majesty," Stephanie said, after wiping some of Nicole's wetness off her face, "we have come seeking rings.""Rings?""Yes, majesty," Stephanie nodded, "black rings that let people come and go at will.""My pretty young lady," the king laughed, "you don't need rings for that. You may come and go as you will now.""But these are rings that enable one to leave Eros and come back," Stephanie smiled, apparently not in the least troubled by the king's evasion."Why would anyone want to leave Eros?" the king asked. "We don't even need to leave our pleasure dome often, and never leave our beautiful hall.""Well, your majesty," Don tried, "we have friends outside Eros and we would like to see them again.""Silly man," the king laughed. "You should seek to bring your friends here. We are sure they would enjoy our pleasure dome. It is, after all, a dome of pleasure.""That it is," Don nodded, not sure how to proceed. "But how can we bring them back here if we can't leave Eros to get them and then come back?""Oh, we're afraid we have no idea," the king shrugged.Stephanie decided on a somewhat more direct approach. She stepped up to the throne and leaned forward in front of the king, taking his mostly-erect cock in her hand and beginning to slowly pull on it. Don was a bit distracted by his view of Stephanie's long, firm legs and her tight as, as well as her cunt, from which some of Don's cum was slowly leaking. Stephanie smiled and said, "Your majesty, do you know anyone who might know about such rings?""Well," he smiled, "we do know an awful lot of people. We meet many, many people here." He was obviously enjoying what Stephanie was doing to him and was definitely enjoying the view of her breasts."Have some of those people come here before us, looking for rings?" she smiled."It's possible," the king nodded, "a long time ago."Stephanie began to slowly crawl up on the throne, straddling his lap. She leaned in close and asked, "Do you remember what you told them or what they did?""Hum," the king frowned, his eyes never leaving Stephanie's tits. Slowly he raised his hands to them."Think carefully, your majesty," she rubbed the head of his cock between her labia, teasing her clit with the spongy tip. Don's cum was coating the king's cockhead. She said, "It's very important.""Well, we do recall that we are supposed to ask something, " the king murmured as his hands squeezed her tits, and he pinched her nipples."Uh, that feels nice," Stephanie murmured, while continuing to tease herself and the king with what she was doing with his cock. "What were you supposed to ask?""We are supposed to ask if you know the secret," the king said quietly."The secret, eh?" Stephanie smiled. She pushed the king's cock up inside her at last, sinking down on him in one motion. Don and Nicole could clearly see quite a bit of Don's cum being pushed out of Stephanie's cunt to run slowly over the base of the king's cock and his balls. Stephanie leaned forward and kissed the royal mouth, and then began to grind herself against him. For several long minutes, as Don and Nicole just stood there watching, hands idly touching themselves, Stephanie just rode the king's cock, giving him a royal lap dance. The view of her tight, muscular ass and the bottom of the king's fat cock disappearing into her cunt was quite erotic. Finally, he was pushing up in his throne, groaning, and pumping his cum into her, where it mingled with what was left of Don's and began to run out over his balls. Stephanie smiled, kissed him on the forehead and then leaned in to whisper something in his ear.The king smiled, laughed, and said, "Why didn't you say so? Come right this way!""What did she say?" Toshia wanted to know."I didn't hear," Don said a bit coyly."You didn't ask?""I did, but she wouldn't tell me. I eventually figured it out, but that's for later," he smiled smugly."Annoying," Toshia scowled, "but fine, go on."With sudden energy, the king lifted a rather startled Stephanie off his lap and set her down. All his former apparent ennui was gone as he swept out of his throne and started down the elevated walkway. They quickly followed him back to the circular sofa in the middle of the vast chamber."Sit here and don't get up," the king commanded.They hurried to obey, and then Stephanie started to ask, "Now what, ?" but was cut off by the realization that the couch was rather swiftly rising through the air."Oh hell!" Nicole gasped, reminding Don how much she hated riding the flying carpet."A bit of warning would have been nice," Don laughed nervously. He looked up again and saw that there seemed to be an opening in the apex of the dome, directly above them. Don fervently hoped it was an opening, since the flying couch didn't seem inclined to stop or even slow down before getting that high.The others saw what was happening and seemed to be coming. By the time they reached the ceiling they were all holding each other's hands tightly.Chapter 5. The SeductionFortunately, what appeared to be a dark opening in the ceiling of the pleasure dome turned out to be an opening in the ceiling of the pleasure dome. Oddly enough, though, once they passed through that opening, they found themselves in a well-lit office, completely different from the over-the-top and dramatic Hall of the Crimson Mountain King they had just left. The circular couch was in the middle of an area flanked on three sides by oddly conventional chairs of the metal and plastic variety, the kind intended to be sat in for hours but designed to be uncomfortable after five minutes. There were potted plants in the two corners, and Don was pretty sure they were artificial. A beige carpeting covered the floor. It had vacuum track marks on it and there wasn't a speck of dust to be seen. The fourth side of the room was dominated by a large welcome desk, identified as such by a friendly sign that said "Welcome," behind which sat a middle-aged woman wearing glasses and her brown hair piled high on her head. She glanced up at them as they came to a halt, peering over the rim of her glasses, and then promptly looked back at the computer screen off to her right. For some reason, it was the slightly yellowed screens between them and the fluorescent lights in the ceiling that seemed most incongruous to Don.Don, Nicole, and Stephanie shared puzzled looks for a moment before Don got up and moved toward the welcome desk. A name plate identified the woman at the computer as Gladys, who he now saw was fully clothed, in a fashion that seemed to him to be most appropriate in the 1970s. Don found himself suddenly acutely aware that he was stark naked, and was a bit happy that he wasn't sporting a raging erection at the moment.Toshia couldn't stop laughing and let herself fall over in the booth. Don waited patiently, but with a smile on his face, until she pulled herself back up and laughingly said, "Please, go on.""Hello, um, Gladys," Don started. "We're here about, uh, getting some rings.""Case number?" Gladys asked without looking up."I don't think we have one," Don frowned and looked over to Stephanie who just shook her head. "No, we don't have one."Gladys rolled her eyes a bit and fixed Don with an exasperated, over-the-rims look before finally saying, "Names?"They told her and she typed them into the computer. Without looking back up, Gladys told them to "Have a seat. Someone will be with you shortly."They turned to return to the sofa, but it was already gone, presumably back to its place in the pleasure dome, so they reluctantly sat down on the plastic chairs, doubly uncomfortable in their nudity."This is not at all what I was expecting," Stephanie admitted."What were you expecting exactly?" Nicole wanted to know."Uh, definitely not this.""Yeah, I was thinking something a bit more majestic or mystical or something," added Don.They sat there in awkward silence for what must have been half an hour. This was easily the longest bit of completely idle time they had spent without anyone starting any sexual mischief. There was something about the setting, and Gladys's presence, that proved to be a wet blanket, or a cold shower. If Don had realized this was his last opportunity to have a threesome with these two women, he might have instigated something, but as it was, they waited quietly without much in the way of even conversation."Wait, what?" Toshia cut in."Yeah, this was the last time the three of us would be in the same room.""You never saw them again?""Oh, yeah, we ran into each other now and then, but never all at the same time.""Still, ""Yeah, but at the time we were each just dealing with what was going on at the time. It was only later that we realized we should have said goodbye and had one last fling."There was a buzz at the welcome desk, Gladys picked up an old-fashioned phone, listened for a moment, said "Yes, ma'am, right away," hung up the phone, and called out "Stephanie Ayers," as if there were more than just the three people waiting or as if Stephanie might have stepped out somewhere.Stephanie shot to her feet immediately and crossed to the desk. Gladys looked up, actually smiled, and said, "They will see you now." She gestured to her left, indicating a door that Don was quite sure had not been there before. There was a black plaque on the door with white lettering that said "Interviews."A bit nervously, Stephanie smiled and waved to Don and Nicole and went through the door.If anything, the mood in the waiting room was now even more awkward. Fortunately for him, Don was called in only about ten minutes later. He gave Nicole's hand a squeeze as he smiled and said, "See you on the other side, sexy.""Good luck, I guess, Professor!" she smiled up at him.Don stepped through the door to find himself in a rather unimpressive and entirely mundane meeting room. A long wooden table took up most of the room and gathered around the far end of the table were five black-robed, hooded figures. Don assumed they were watchers and realized he hadn't seen any of those mysterious folks in quite some time.To his surprise, the one at the very end of the table gestured toward the chair at the end of the table nearest to Don and said in a clearly feminine voice, "Please have a seat."Don was happy the seat he was offered was more comfortable than those in the waiting room, and he noted that Stephanie seemed to have warmed it up a bit for him. As he sat down, the woman at the other end asked, "Do you mind if we do without the hoods, Don?""No, of course not," Don answered, a bit surprised that he had been asked.As they each reached up and drew their hoods back, the one at the end explained, "The higher-ups insist on the hoods. They say it lends a certain gravitas to the situation, but we find it just makes things unnecessarily formal and uncomfortable."It turned out that the woman under the hood was an attractive black woman with her hair buzzed down very close to her scalp. She smiled warmly at Don and said, "Welcome, Don. I'm Pamela, and I'll be conducting this interview. My associates are here primarily as witnesses."On Pamela's right were an older gentleman with ebony black skin and short white hair and a white woman with short, straight dark brown hair. On her left were a young east Asian man with surprisingly light blond hair and another white woman with long, curly blonde hair. None of these "witnesses" said anything while Don was in the room."Pleased to meet you, Pamela," Don smiled. He took a sip from the glass of water that had been set there for him."You have an interesting file, Don," Pamela said, gesturing to a black binder on the table in front of her. "I was surprised that you didn't go home with Toshia.""I would like to be able to return here after I go," Don said.

With Labour MPs rebelling over Keir Starmer's planned cuts to welfare benefits – where does he stand now with his party and does even more trouble lie ahead? Plus, the UK's new industrial strategy is hot off the press. What makes it so ambitious, and has it learned the lessons from Boris Johnson's failed levelling up plan?  ESCAPE ROUTES • Seth recommends Gilbert and Sullivan's Princess Ida • Hannah recommends Slags by Emma Jane Unsworth and the new Adam Curtis series, Shifty • Zoe recommends Olivia Rodrigo at Glastonbury • Ros recommends The Four Seasons on Netflix www.patreon.com/ohgodwhatnow Presented by Ros Taylor with Zoë Grünewald, Seth Thévoz and Hannah Fearn. Audio Production by: Robin Leeburn. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. OH GOD, WHAT NOW? is a Podmasters production. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Pastor PhillipSunday, June 29th, 2025

Click here for the DRB Daily Sign Up form! TODAY'S SCRIPTURE: Amos 4-6; Psalm 86-87; Titus 1 Click HERE to give! Get Free App Here! One Year Bible Podcast: Join Hunter and Heather Barnes on 'The Daily Radio Bible' for a daily 20-minute spiritual journey. Engage with scripture readings, heartfelt devotionals, and collective prayers that draw you into the heart of God's love. Embark on this year-long voyage through the Bible, and let each day's passage uplift and inspire you. TODAY'S EPISODE: Welcome to the Daily Radio Bible! Today is June 29th, and we're at day 180 in our journey through the Scriptures. I'm Heather, and I'm so glad you're joining me and listeners from around the world as we open God's Word to seek not just knowledge, but transformation—because these Scriptures point us to Jesus, the true source of life. In this episode, we dive into the prophetic words of Amos, chapters 4-6, reflecting on Israel's call to true justice and righteousness rather than empty religious rituals. We find comfort in the heartfelt prayers of Psalms 86 and 87, and wisdom from Paul's letter to Titus, chapter 1, as he instructs on godly living and leadership. We'll talk about what God is really looking for—not grand gestures or showy worship, but hearts transformed by love, flowing with justice, mercy, and living water from Christ himself. As always, we'll wrap up with prayer, trusting God to guide us into this new day with purpose and peace. So grab your Bible and get ready to be encouraged and challenged as we explore what it truly means to come to the water—the living water of Jesus. Let's jump in! TODAY'S DEVOTION: What does God want to see? Big religious festivals, big gatherings of religious people, big houses, big vineyards—a big life. Is this what he wants for his people? Apparently not. The prophet Amos tells us that God is looking for something entirely different. He wants to see a heart transformed from the inside out—a heart that loves justice and mercy, having been set free from oppression, forgiven, and experiencing the fullness of God's love. Amos 5 says, “I hate all your show and pretense, the hypocrisy of your religious festivals and solemn assemblies. I will not accept your burnt offerings and grain offerings. I won't even notice all your choice peace offerings. Away with your noisy hymns of praise; I will not listen to the music of your harps. Instead, I want to see a mighty flood of justice, an endless river of righteous living.” What does God want to see? He wants to see a mighty flood of justice and an endless river of righteous living. But where does this river and flood come from? There's only one source. It's not our own piety. It doesn't come from the arrogant headwaters of self. The living water God desires comes from a different source entirely—a source beyond anything we could muster: Christ Jesus, the source of all living water and life itself. In John 7:38, Jesus says, “Anyone who believes in me may come and drink. For the Scriptures declare, ‘Rivers of living water will flow from his heart.'” The mighty flood, the torrent of righteousness, comes from him. And we must turn to him if we want to live the kind of life God desires to see. Is anyone thirsty? Come and drink—even if you have no money, come. Take your choice of wine or milk; it's all free (Isaiah 55:1). We must come first to the water. It's there that we are changed from the inside out by the Spirit of Christ himself, living and abiding in us. Then his living water pours out into the world through us, and it's then that God sees what he truly wants to see: people who have been set free, helping to set others free with the love and power of Christ. God says, come back to me and live. Come to the water—his living water—and let it flow through you to a dry, thirsty, weary land. Drink deep from his well, and you will be amazed at what will happen. Life and justice will happen. That's my prayer for my own soul today, for my loved ones, for this community, and for you. May it be so. TODAY'S PRAYERS: Lord God Almighty and everlasting father you have brought us in safety to this new day preserve us with your Mighty power that we might not fall into sin or be overcome by adversity. And in all we do, direct us to the fulfilling of your purpose  through Jesus Christ Our Lord amen.   Oh God you have made of one blood all the peoples of the earth and sent your blessed son to preach peace to those who are far and those who are near. Grant that people everywhere may seek after you, and find you. Bring the nations into your fold, pour out your Spirit on all flesh, and hasten the coming of your kingdom through Jesus Christ our Lord, Amen.   And now Lord,  make me an instrument of your peace.  Where there is hatred let me sow love. Where there is injury, pardon.  Where there is doubt, faith. Where there is despair, hope.  Where there is darkness, light.  And where there is sadness,  Joy.  Oh Lord grant that I might not seek to be consoled as to console. To be understood as to understand, to be loved as to love.  For it is in the giving that we receive, in the pardoning that we are pardoned, it is in the dying that we are born unto eternal life.  Amen And now as our Lord has taught us we are bold to pray... Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name, thy kingdom come thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven, give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our tresspasses as we forgive those who trespass against us, and lead us not unto temptation, but deliver us from evil, for thine is the Kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen. Loving God, we give you thanks for restoring us in your image. And nourishing us with spiritual food, now send us forth as forgiven people, healed and renewed, that we may proclaim your love to the world, and continue in the risen life of Christ.  Amen.  OUR WEBSITE: www.dailyradiobible.com We are reading through the New Living Translation.   Leave us a voicemail HERE: https://www.speakpipe.com/dailyradiobible Subscribe to us at YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Dailyradiobible/featured OTHER PODCASTS: Listen with Apple Podcast DAILY BIBLE FOR KIDS DAILY PSALMS DAILY PROVERBS DAILY LECTIONARY DAILY CHRONOLOGICAL  

Click here for the DRB Daily Sign Up form! TODAY'S SCRIPTURE: Amos 1-3; Psalm 80; 2 Timothy 4 Click HERE to give! Get Free App Here! One Year Bible Podcast: Join Hunter and Heather Barnes on 'The Daily Radio Bible' for a daily 20-minute spiritual journey. Engage with scripture readings, heartfelt devotionals, and collective prayers that draw you into the heart of God's love. Embark on this year-long voyage through the Bible, and let each day's passage uplift and inspire you. TODAY'S EPISODE: Welcome to the Daily Radio Bible! In today's episode, host Hunter guides us through a reflective journey in God's Word on this 28th day of June—day 180 in our Bible reading adventure. We dig into the prophetic challenges and hope in Amos chapters 1–3, draw near through the heartfelt prayers of Psalm 80, and find inspiration in 2 Timothy chapter 4, as Paul approaches the end of his race with honesty and humility. Hunter reflects on the simple but profound needs Paul expresses in his final letter—a coat, a book, and a friend—and how these basic desires point to the spiritual essentials we need to run our own race well: the warmth of Christ, the guidance of God's Word, and the support of community. With thoughtful prayers and an encouraging invitation to gratitude, today's episode offers wisdom for persevering faith and reminds us all that, no matter where we are, we are deeply loved. Settle in, open your heart, and join us as we gather around the fire of God's love, seeking strength in His presence and Word. TODAY'S DEVOTION: Run well, fight the good fight. At the close of his life, the Apostle Paul offers us a glimpse of what it means to finish the race in faith. After pouring out his life for Christ, what does Paul most desire? He asks Timothy for three simple things: a coat, a book, and a friend. These requests reveal a deep wisdom for all who want to run well to the end. We need a coat, because life can be harsh, cold, and broken. The world is not always gentle or forgiving. Paul needed warmth and covering—something to shield him from the chill. And in our own lives, Christ becomes that covering. We are invited to clothe ourselves with Christ, to put Him on like a coat, so that His presence brings warmth to our coldest days. “All who have been united with Christ in baptism have put on Christ, like putting on new clothes.” Only He can truly revive us and keep us warm. Paul also asks Timothy for the book—the Scriptures and treasured writings. To remain steady, to keep running our race to the end, we need the Word. God's Word is a constant encouragement, a source of strength and instruction for every step along the journey. Without it, we wander; with it, we persevere. And finally, Paul asks for a friend. Not just any companion, but John Mark—someone with whom he had previously disagreed so deeply that they parted ways. Yet here, at the finish line, Paul longs for reconciliation and companionship. The gospel does this: it softens old wounds, repairs broken bonds, and brings friends back together. Running well means traveling with others, leaning on community, and sharing both the struggles and the victories. A coat, a book, and a friend—these are the gifts Paul sought, and these are the same treasures we need today if we are to fight the good fight and run the race set before us. Wrap yourself in Christ, reach for God's Word, and be willing to walk alongside a friend—even those with whom you've struggled before. That is the prayer I have for my own soul, for my family, and for you. May it be so. TODAY'S PRAYERS: Lord God Almighty and everlasting father you have brought us in safety to this new day preserve us with your Mighty power that we might not fall into sin or be overcome by adversity. And in all we do, direct us to the fulfilling of your purpose  through Jesus Christ Our Lord, amen.   Oh God you have made of one blood all the peoples of the earth and sent your blessed son to preach peace to those who are far and those who are near. Grant that people everywhere may seek after you, and find you. Bring the nations into your fold, pour out your Spirit on all flesh, and hasten the coming of your kingdom through Jesus Christ our Lord, Amen.   And now Lord,  make me an instrument of your peace.  Where there is hatred let me sow love. Where there is injury, pardon.  Where there is doubt, faith. Where there is despair, hope.  Where there is darkness, light.  And where there is sadness,  Joy.  Oh Lord grant that I might not seek to be consoled as to console. To be understood as to understand, to be loved as to love.  For it is in the giving that we receive, in the pardoning that we are pardoned, it is in the dying that we are born unto eternal life.  Amen And now as our Lord has taught us we are bold to pray... Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name, thy kingdom come thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven, give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our tresspasses as we forgive those who trespass against us, and lead us not unto temptation, but deliver us from evil, for thine is the Kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen. Loving God, we give you thanks for restoring us in your image. And nourishing us with spiritual food, now send us forth as forgiven people, healed and renewed, that we may proclaim your love to the world, and continue in the risen life of Christ.  Amen.  OUR WEBSITE: www.dailyradiobible.com We are reading through the New Living Translation.   Leave us a voicemail HERE: https://www.speakpipe.com/dailyradiobible Subscribe to us at YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Dailyradiobible/featured OTHER PODCASTS: Listen with Apple Podcast DAILY BIBLE FOR KIDS DAILY PSALMS DAILY PROVERBS DAILY LECTIONARY DAILY CHRONOLOGICAL  

Dog whistle think pieces seem to be back in fashion and right wingers are more frequently using rhetoric that sounds a bit like Enoch Powell. Powell was condemned for Rivers of Blood, why isn't sounding like him so damaging for the modern right? Plus – AI and copyright. It's put Labour at odds with Elton John, never a good place to be. Politico's Joseph Bambridge joins the panel to talk through the furore.  Read Joseph's piece in Politico: https://www.politico.eu/article/ai-copyright-political-nightmare-labour-uk-models-tech/    ESCAPE ROUTES  •  Rachel watched Virgin Island on Channel 4  • Raf has been reading Barbara Kingsolver novels • Joseph watched The Contestant  • Dorian watched Black Ops  www.patreon.com/ohgodwhatnow    Presented by Dorian Lynskey with Rafael Behr and Rachel Cunliffe. Producer: Chris Jones. Audio. Production by: Robin Leeburn. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. OH GOD, WHAT NOW? is a Podmasters production.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to the Circle of the World Podcast! Join Harrison, George, and Jeffrey as we continue our coverage of Joe Abercrombie's First Law series! For this season, we read through Red Country! And this week we will be covering Oh God, The Dust; Sweet's Crossing, and Dreams.Make sure you sign up to memeing every chapter : https://www.reddit.com/r/HouseOfTheMemeMaker/comments/1kwbisk/memeing_every_chapter_of_red_country_signup_list/Meme of the week:https://www.reddit.com/r/HouseOfTheMemeMaker/comments/1lenpfk/memeing_every_chapter_red_country_all_got_a_past/Music Credit: Maszy MusicLeave us a commentSupport the show

Happy Dan Hannan Day! We “celebrate” nine years of Desperate Dan's infamous Brexit prediction. Plus, War in and/or on Iran. Whatever happened to “America First”? Does Britain have any influence on Trump in this? And would Tony Blair have joined in America military action? And… this terrible, terrible heat. As the 1.5 degree limit looks increasingly fanciful, is living in a sweaty Britain the best we can hope for?  Charlotte Nichols MP of Warrington North is our special guest. ESCAPE ROUTES • Zoe recommends Shock And War: Iraq 20 Years On on BBC Sounds and Sirens on Netflix.  • Marie recommends Hacks on Amazon Prime. • Charlotte recommends Everything Must Go by our own Dorian Lynskey and On The Calculation Of Volume by Solvej Balle. • Ros recommends Lionessheart: The Life and Times of Joanna Plantagenet by Catherine Hanley.  • Back us on Patreon for ad-free listening, bonus materials and more.  Presented by Ros Taylor with Marie le Conte and Zoe Grünewald. Audio production by Robin Leeburn. Theme music by Cornershop. Produced by Chris Jones. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison OH GOD, WHAT NOW? is a Podmasters production. www.podmasters.co.uk   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome back to 'Don't Cut Your Own Bangs!'    In this lively and heartfelt episode, Danielle Ireland chats with Ashlyn Thompson from the Parent Empowerment Network. Ashlyn shares her journey from growing her nonprofit organization to the emotional rollercoaster of her daughter's complex medical journey.    Get ready to explore how pain can be an unexpected teacher, the magic of community support, and why tapping into creativity can be your secret weapon against anxiety. Filled with laughs, valuable insights, and touching moments, this episode is a treasure trove of wisdom and joy. Tune in and enjoy the ride!   00:00 Introduction and Guest Overview 00:20 Ashlyn Thompson's Journey and Nonprofit Growth 01:10 The Importance of Community and Support 01:37 Embracing Big Feelings and Finding Joy 02:52 Welcoming Ashlyn Back and Discussing Growth 05:44 Navigating Pain and Empowerment 09:51 The Power of Perspective and Decision Making 14:27 Balancing Life and Nonprofit Work 21:21 The Role of Pain as a Teacher 30:48 Finding Comfort in Movement and Nature 33:09 Returning to Basics 33:35 Reflecting on Past Decisions 35:20 The Role of Pain and Fear 38:20 Parent Empowerment Network 44:25 Creativity as a Lifeline 49:21 Embracing Emotions 53:07 Don't Cut Your Own Bangs Moment 01:01:20 Conclusion and Resources   Ashlyn Thompson interview links Ashlyn Thompson, a passionate advocate and storyteller, is co-founder of the Parent Empowerment Network, a nonprofit providing emotional and mental health support to parents navigating pediatric medical complexities. She also co-hosts theEmpowered by Hope podcast, which equips parents with practical tools, resources, and a strong sense of community—delivered with a heavy dose of humor and hope to empower them as their child's best advocate. Ashlyn's fire for advocacy was ignited by her daughter Emery, who was born with bladder exstrophy. After Emery nearly died following a major surgery at just seven weeks old, Ashlyn became a fierce voice for patient safety. Unwilling to accept the limitations of domestic medical care, she discovered a surgical option in the U.K. that wasn't available in the U.S. at the time. In early 2023, Emery became the first American to undergo this procedure—and thanks to Ashlyn's relentless advocacy, that surgery is now available in America. When she's not advocating or recording podcasts, Ashlyn moonlights as a budding driveway chalk artist, chaos coordinator for her spirited family, and an avid nature lover. Chocolate is her daily vitamin, ADHD is her superpower, spiders and small talk are her sworn enemies, and she firmly believes laughter and boldness are two of a parent's greatest tools.   Parent Empowerment Network:  The Parent Empowerment Network exists to support, encourage, and educate parents of children with medical complexities—empowering them with community, knowledge, and confidence to be their child's fiercest advocate. www.ParentEmpowermentNetwork.org Empowered by Hope podcast on all major podcast streaming platforms: https://parentempowermentnetwork.org/podcast/   Social Media:  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/people/Parent-Empowerment-Network/100083218456295/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/parentempowermentnetwork/   She is Charlotte book by co-founder, Emily Whiting:https://parentempowermentnetwork.org/she-is-charlotte-book/ DANIELLE IRELAND, LCSW I greatly appreciate your support and engagement as part of the Don't Cut Your Own Bangs community. Feel free to reach out with questions, comments, or anything you'd like to share. You can connect with me at any of the links below.   Website: https://danielleireland.com/   The Treasured Journal: https://danielleireland.com/journal   Substack: https://danielleireland.substack.com/   Blog: https://danielleireland.com/blog/   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/danielleireland_lcsw   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/danielleireland.LCSW   Podcast on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@danielleireland8218/featured “Don't Cut Your Own Bangs” is about creating a community around, and familiarity with, the messy middle—that uncertain and often chaotic and uncomfortable time in the middle of a process or journey. The messy middle is replete with ambiguity and challenges, but it's also where the hard and rewarding work happens.   Transcript [00:00:00] Danielle: Hello. Hello, this is Danielle Ireland and you are watching or listening to Don't Cut Your Own Bangs. I am so excited to be back in the interview seat. We've done some solo cast. It's been a blast. But Ashlyn Thompson is here with me today, and we just wrapped an incredible conversation. Ashlyn came on as a guest to talk about her work with Charlotte's Hope Foundation a couple of years ago. [00:00:26] She was about ready to embark right in the interview we were, she was. Days away from embarking on a trip to the UK for her daughter having a surgery with the only surgeon in the world who performed the specific type of surgery that her daughter needed. Her daughter's made a full recovery. It's a beautiful story we're gonna get into in this episode, but what I'm truly, if you could imagine even beyond that beautiful story, what I'm so excited to introduce to you and to that I was so grateful to witness and learn from. [00:00:53] Is that Ashlyn has grown her nonprofit organization, not no money in organization, but yes, a nonprofit organization that at the time, two years ago when we last checked in with her, was called Charlotte's Hope Foundation. It has grown. It's expanded, and it's evolved, and it's now the Parent Empowerment Network. [00:01:10] She and her co-founder also have a podcast for that same work, and what I love about the work that they do. They create community connection space and resources for parents and families raising children or any provider helping a child navigate medical complexities. And that sounds like such a hard and heavy and challenging topic. [00:01:33] And it is. But what Ashlyn embodies is. The work that I really wanted to bring to this season and this new phase of don't cut your own bangs, which I want big feelings to feel less scary. I want approaching them to feel possible. And then with that in mind, wherever possible, as much as possible, finding lightness, levity, and joy. [00:01:54] However we can do it. And I'm telling you, in this episode we did that. We accomplished that. We talk about important things, we talk about heavy things, and Ashland is vulnerable in a way that is inviting. But also something we can all learn from. And through the specificity of her life experience and what she's learned, there are universal nuggets that we can all find value in. [00:02:17] I know I did, and this was such a beautiful place to share, and we laughed. We had joy, we smiled . I hope that this topic invites you and encourages you to lean in and tune in because there are so many great nuggets of this. Thank you for being here, and I can't wait for you to sit back, relax, and enjoy. [00:02:38] Ashlyn Thompson [00:02:39] Hi. Yes, I know. Big jumps for both of us. I know. I feel like we're, it does feel like a lifetime ago. It I mean, in many ways it is. It's like we're, I mean, I'm still, me and all the key players are still playing. Right. But it does feel like a different life in a way. And I, with that in mind, I just wanna officially welcome you back. [00:02:55] Yes. Welcome. Ashlyn Thompson. Oh, thank. Don't cut your own bangs. I am so excited that you're here for many reasons, but the thing I'm most excited about is I think that. Building something or starting something creates a certain amount of effort and energy. Sustaining something, growing with it, breathing new life into it, that's a different part of a different element of a creative process. [00:03:17] And that's something I think specifically I'm really excited to talk to you about because you're parent Empowerment Network, which has it, it exists to support, encourage and educate parents and caregivers of children with medical complexities. And that was, it already was in existence when we, right, when we recorded the first time. [00:03:34] But it has grown. Grown. I went to a gala, people, she's throwing a gala fundraiser for her for her network. And so, I mean, I wanna hear about all the twists and all the developments of that, but more specifically the context I wanna provide for us and for this conversation. The thing that I'm really excited about, , and why I feel really passionate about bringing this to video. [00:03:57] Is that I want to help make big feelings feel less scary. Yeah. And I want to make, approaching them feel possible. And then with that in mind as much and as often as possible, laugh as much as possible. Amen. And so, right? So like, you are swimming in the trenches with people and even in your own life with people who are holding and making space for heavy things. [00:04:23] Yes. And yet there is a bright smile on your face. There's a twinkle in your eye. You laugh and you smile. And I wanna, and I don't know how to articulate what that is, but I want to, I wanna, that's something I wanna make space for in this conversation too. So it's important and it's big and it's emotional for sure, but also like, let's allow levity too. [00:04:42] Absolutely. I am so excited to be continuing our conversation, and I'm also really happy to know that. The person who's sitting here with you today is very much a different person from two years ago. And I feel like I have gone through multiple versions of myself just in the past two years. And that's one of the things that I truly celebrate about, not just the journey of parent empowerment network, but I think just growing and evolving as a human spirit, experiencing this life is recognizing that I say this phrase to only certain people, but I act, I feel compelled to share it now. [00:05:26] I feel like I have died a thousand times. And greeted so many versions of myself. But every time I rise into that extroversion and realize who I am, I like that person more and more. And. I feel like one of my greatest accomplishments just this past year has been truly settling into a, knowing a deep belief that life is meant to grow through, not go through. [00:05:58] And that change, that pivot of how I see the next big thing that comes up has been such a grounding force for me and has really helped me feel like I'm actually sitting in the driver's seat of my car. I don't know what I'm going to pass as I'm on this highway. In life. And sometimes life yanks me off on an exit I didn't plan. [00:06:23] And those exit ramps are typically the next lesson. But I'm grateful to be at a point where I can now see the next really hard thing emerging and not wanna hit reverse. Wow. Wow. Not that I like it all the time. No, God. But I can appreciate that this isn't out to crush me. This isn't here to take me down like I used to feel. [00:06:53] , Wow. There's a lot to unpack there for. Thank you so much for sharing that, but also not going in reverse. I wanna make a mental note, not going in reverse. The next version of me, I like better, and this is not here to crush me. Right. The, there's something, I got chills. I got full body chills when you, the la with the last thing that you said, because when I'm working with clients, there is this element and this is something. [00:07:18] I promise I'll come back to that original point there. There's an element of the work that I do where, and I'm sure you get this in your own way too, with like hearing stories from families who are holding really hard and heavy things. I think when I meet people for the first time, a common response is, wow, I don't know how you do what you do, or I don't know how you listen to that all day. [00:07:36] Or Oh man, and I think, yes, sure. There, there are certainly days and clients or moments where those stories are making space for people's big, heavy, painful experiences. Right. Is can be a lot at times. Far less anymore. But I think more than anything the va like, I feel so lucky to have the experience a hundred maybe even thousands of times over hurt people's pain. [00:08:03] And I know what pain sounds like. Yes. And there are different types and one thing that I absolutely believe to be true is that our pain is not personal. Our story is personal, right? But pain is not personal. And the events of our life, even things that happen to us, it's, there's it's almost shifting out of a, and I hope I can say this within the context that, that is heard with love. [00:08:27] But shifting out of a victim mentality right into it. Because being victimized or being stricken with grief or holding something hard like that is absolutely real. And also knowing that this is happening to me, but this is not gosh, what are the words I'm trying to find. It, what I'm hearing is you recognize how hard this is. [00:08:51] Whatever that insert blank. I recognize how hard this is, and I'm not going to make this pain so precious that I don't also see it as temporary. Yes, exactly. But there's something, so I think there's something really powerful and there's so much nuance to that because I certainly don't want to, people can be victimized, but the victim mentality is one of, in my professional experience it's one of the more challenging headspace to, for someone to walk out of. [00:09:21] Agree. It's really hard. Exactly. It shrinks your world. So, so much. That's well said. And we experience that very often. We really fo I mean we say all the time, you know, we are non diagnosis specific, non prognosis specific with the families that we work with, and we focus on the parents or the parent role, which could be performed by a sibling, a grandparent, a friend, an adopt, a lot of different people, but. [00:09:51] What we really found early in our journey and what helped us evolve into parent empowerment network was that recognition that, like you pointed out, pain is not it's not customized to your experience. The feeling, the emotional and physical experience relationship with pain is common through all of us, and it actually is a way that we can connect with each other when we recognize that. [00:10:18] When we stop comparing one another's pains. Now, don't get me wrong, if your kid got a bump on the head versus your kid needs a, you know, brain surgery. Right. Those are different. Yes. Very different. Yes. But most of the time we're not dealing with that. And what we have found is that when somebody is in that victim mentality, which is understandable, I think that's a, very important aspect to acknowledge when you're feeling like a victim, why is this happening to me? Or why is this happening to my child? Because I'll be the first to say, it's never okay when your child is hurting or sick or in harm's way or worse. I will never be okay with it. But when we say stuck in a victim mentality, our ability to problem solve goes from about here to here. [00:11:08] Yeah. And then your child is really the one who suffers. And I hate, it's a hard truth. But we have to face that truth because when we can help a parent start to find glimmers of hope, start to see that there's a way to build on quality of life rather than cure. Then you start to see this new version emerge where they are truly, you know, empowered advocates for their child. [00:11:45] There's something that I heard in what you said too, that a lot of times when I'm working with clients who are maybe knee deep in anxiety or depression, for example. I think why can be a powerful question, but I think a misplaced why is a really exactly damaging question. Like, why me? Why them? [00:12:02] Why this, why now? Because those are questions you can't answer that only lead to a defeating answer. Exactly. And usually another question or shame, but what I'm hearing a lot in when you. When you can kind of broaden your focus and sort of release that constriction from why you then can open yourself up to a different type of question. [00:12:23] How can I, exactly. How can I get through today? How can I get through this moment? What is needed most of me now? What do I need now? Right. And those types of the what and the how. Who do I need to show up for? Is it me? Right. Is it them? Who do I need to ask for help? Who has information that I need? [00:12:43] Those types of questions don't eliminate the pain, but it broadens the scope Yes. Of, of your field of vision. And I know that though, like, 'cause you are here in many ways. Oh, I hope it's okay to use this term. But I hope that you're here as an expert and you're also the executive Hope director of of the power impairment network. [00:13:05] And I think a lot of times. What we would imagine as the worst possible case scenario. Like the worst thing we could imagine would be something happening to our kids. This has been your lived experience. This has been your business partner's lived experience. And for, even though you have a podcast as well, where you really create a space and content and a community that helps people with that very specific set of circumstances, that Right. [00:13:33] I would imagine it's like. The best and worst club to be a part of. So we always say, we're so sorry you're in this club. Yes. But we're so glad you found us. Yes. Like it's the yes, we're really sorry, but at the same time, like, welcome home, welcome. And so I think a lot of the, a lot of the people who tune in to don't cut your own bang, I don't know how many would have this specific life experience. [00:13:57] Right. And if you do, oh my gosh, what a gorgeous resource you have in Ashlyn. Oh, thank you. And the Parent empowerment network and their podcast. But I do think that even in something like this, in within the specificity of everything you're saying, there is such a broad truth that I think we can all access and find value in. [00:14:16] And, yeah. So just thank you for all of that. And I want to, okay. I wanna shift a little bit to the growth of the parent Empowerment network. Right. Because, so when I originally started this podcast, what I was, what I really motivated me, one was I was terrified of becoming a therapist and having worked as a creative, and I just wanted to surround myself with other people who, who were building things, right? So that I could sort of sneak in my own needy questions. Like, how did you do it? How did you figure it out? What happened when you were scared? Like, what happened when your computer crashed? Oh my gosh. And you went from newly building something to, you have really grown. [00:14:53] Yes. You have really grown. And I wanna know having experienced the, you know, the gala that Right. That you that you threw that was so lovely. I wanna know . What led to the growth over the last two years? Because you're still momming, you're still life. Yeah. Your daughter is still being you. [00:15:08] I mean, like your life is still life and Yes. Life is still lifeing. How, in the midst of your lifeing, how have you also continued to grow this? And I really wanna know like what fueled your fire. And just tell me more about that story please. Yes, absolutely. So at the beginning of this, you know, when we started talking, you were very talking about how I'm sitting here smiling and I mean, I am fully, I am genuinely full of joy in this moment. [00:15:35] And I think I know actually that comes from being in something like we have with Parent Empowerment Network, which has been truly its own huge like business, right? We are called a nonprofit, but let me tell you, I mean, it is straight up business. [00:15:57] Is what it is in a lot of ways, and. That's the worst possible name for a tax category. It totally is. Because it's so confusing. Nonprofit doesn't mean no money. Right. Exactly. It's so confusing. We do not exist for free. Is great an idea as that sounds. I want that to be the slogan for every nonprofit. [00:16:16] I just, 'cause we don't exist for free. Right. You know the whole, you get what you pay for. It's, yeah. That's a whole other conversation. We're not gonna spend too much time there today. We should have a part two then. There we go. I'm okay with that. All right. So for that, what I think the biggest lesson that has. [00:16:33] Emerged from this journey just since we were, you know, you and I were talking a couple years ago when we were actually still called Charlotte's Hope Foundation. Yes. Which was our initial name. Yes. Because we had an idea for something that was this big at the beginning. And the name Charlotte's Hope Foundation fit that in theory. [00:16:52] But the thing I'm most proud of my, of Emily Whiting, who's my co-founder, fellow mom, fellow sister, fellow savior, at times the best thing we have done is allowed ourselves permission to grow and shrink as needed. And that's what we've done throughout this journey. It has not been a step process. [00:17:15] There have been countless times where we have grown two or three steps, been bigger, you know, working with international teams of surgeons, pulling together collaborations that have never been done, and then. There have been times where we have pulled back and we haven't released an episode for six weeks. [00:17:33] We have had maybe two or three social posts because our lives were on fire or just demanded all our attention, but it didn't mean we had to stop. I need to, oh my gosh. I don't know how many of you listening or watching can relate to that. I, there is a relationship I have with the expansion and contraction of output where if I'm not putting something out, producing something, making something that it really does a number on my sense of self worth. Right. And self esteem. And that is something that I'm still actively healing and repairing, because I definitely know the facts. I know. The really bumper stickery, self helpy sounding talk. [00:18:26] And I believe it. It's not that I, I don't hear it and think like, yeah. Right. It's just that there's a more practiced version of me, right. That has just had more at bats operating in a certain way. And then life in many ways rewards you for that. In theory. In theory. And I don't mean the like the laurels, like you get the the kudos pat on the back accolades but there is a cost, right? [00:18:47] There is a cost. And I think, in the I this past year I wrote a children's book called Wrestling a Walrus. And this the act of writing this book was something that I didn't realize that in the contraction, or even like in the I love the visual of the caterpillar becoming the butterfly. [00:19:09] 'Cause there's a two week process where the caterpillar is literally, we talk about the messy middle in this podcast and think, thank you Brene Brown, wherever you are for creating language and context for us for this very conversation. 'cause so much of this is inspired by that, but that gooey, mushy middle where it's not a butterfly, it's literally goo and it's Exactly, and it, and, but in that place, there is magic happening there. [00:19:33] Even if it, even though it looks like a pile of shit, right. Like, it's, there's magic happening there. I'll say the impetus or the inspiration, the. It was tough moments with my daughter, moments where I didn't feel like I was doing anything. Right. It like hitting the wrecking ball of, you know, being a parent of a toddler and a parent of an infant like that was, there's not enough grace in any space to help you go through that without serious, you know, support. [00:20:02] There were, I had some victim mentality at that point in time, even, and all things can be true at once. But all of that was what I experienced before I had the idea to write the book. And had I not had that experience, I wouldn't have been able to do that. Exactly. I don't think it would've been the same. [00:20:16] And [00:20:16] , and I promise this whole podcast isn't an ad for the book, but like, I really believe in this damn book and I love it so much. And I love that you talk about that expansion and contraction for yourself. And that you doesn't, it doesn't mean you have to stop. 'cause I think a big reason why I maybe avoided picking up the torch again and doing this podcast like I left it for so long, or I abandoned it for so long, or can I still do it right? [00:20:41] Like all of that stuff. And then yeah it. Yeah. Doubt doesn't mean you're done. No. And taking a pause doesn't mean you're stopping forever. But yeah. I mean, you can't just exhale forever. You can't just output like you eventually have to breathe in. Exactly. And that relationship is very necessary. [00:21:00] And so, I mean, everything you're saying is exactly what I need. Thank you. Thank you. You're welcome. You're welcome. And it, that lesson doesn't come easily. Nope. But I think another element of that, you know, building off of what you were just talking about, pain and discomfort and naturally shying away from it. [00:21:21] I challenge anybody in life to just take a moment to consider pain as a potential teacher, as a professor, rather than pain as an enemy, or pain as a destroyer. Right. If you ask yourself. Why does this feel painful? Because how many times do we all experience in our life something that really gets under our skin, but whether it's a spouse or it's a friend or a coworker and they seem totally unfazed by it, [00:21:56] and that used to be something that bothered me. I was kinda like what's, am I ever sensitive? Or like, what is my thing? And I grew up always hearing, not necessarily even from my parents, but I feel like. Teacher schools and saved by the bell commercials about find what you love in life and you'll never work a day in your life. [00:22:16] And that was great in theory, but I'm a very eclectic person. Yep. I love a lot. And all I was getting was a lot of burnout. That's also like saying like, love your kids and you'll never have a hard day with them in your life. You're like, no bs. No. I love my kids. But like, you know, oh my gosh, kids are the greatest, hardest thing of life. [00:22:33] Right. Right. But I think the same is true. Like , I never stopped loving this. Right. But I don't always have control over the life around. Right. But it's a, I think allowing things to be a part of you, not all of you, is really important. Yeah. And I think it's so easy to define ourselves by that output. [00:22:53] For me and Emily, the word is often it's impact. Are we actually making an impact? And the thing that helped us. Become okay with hitting the pause button when we needed to, and not officially throwing in the towel. Don't get me wrong, there were conversations about it, but we were always very honest with each other and we held each other accountable that if you are feeling like this is not jiving with your life, if it's not jiving with you personally, or it's not good for your family at this moment, let's hit the pause button and talk about it. [00:23:26] But realizing that if we only help each other while working on this, Emily and I, that's helping our kids, that's helping our families. And there's a domino effect from that goes from that. And if that's all we ever do, what's bad about that? You said something that I, it still stuck with me and it will probably be the title of this episode. [00:23:49] Pain is a Professor. Yes, it is. And I wanna go back to that because something that I talk about in my sessions a lot is that your emotions never lie to you. Now your thoughts are very different. Yes. Your thoughts can go a, now granted, we need to think critical thinking is important. [00:24:04] We probably need more critical thinking, but thoughts happen to us all day, every day, constantly. Right. I don't remember what the statistic is. I think we have roughly like eight thoughts a minute, something like that. I'm surprised it's not . Maybe that's just a DH adhd. And that could be too, like, yeah, there, maybe there's a spectrum. [00:24:18] Maybe it's eight to 80 thoughts a minute. Give or take. Give or take a hundred. But so thoughts happen to us now. We can certainly consciously choose what to focus on and what we think. But thinking happens, the emotions are in response to what we're thinking and believing. Exactly. And they never lie. [00:24:35] Right. And I But something you said like pain as a professor. And I like the thought that emotions are energy in motion. Yes. And they always have something for you to learn. There's something for every emotion. There is something it wants you to know. Right. And when you're not feeling good are we have more pain receptors in our body, unfortunately. [00:24:55] We have more pain receptors in our body than we do pleasure receptors. Like, and so when pain is activated, it just has a firmer grip. There's something that Martha Beck talks about that I love. It's called the, I think she calls it the Viper in the box of puppies. So if you were to imagine like, and enough said, right. [00:25:10] Done. You get it. But you hand, if I handed you a box full of like 15 adorable, gorgeous little puppies, I mean, it's, they're the most abundant, silly, loving, fuzzy source of love, safety, pleasure. I could really go for that right now. I mean, would it, that should be a, I'm hoping there's one hiding around somewhere. [00:25:28] We have a surprise for you, but if I were to then put a Viper in or a cobra in your box of puppies. All you're gonna see is the threat. Exactly. All you're gonna see is the threat. And I think in life, it's like we pop mo most of us more often than not, are probably living in lives with a lot of puppies. [00:25:48] But the viper, the threat is what consumes Oh yeah. So much energy and attention and shifting your focus from one to the other is easier said than done. And I wanna talk to you specifically about how you have found meaning or, and I, when I say success, I don't mean it in like a bullet point sense, but right. [00:26:12] Where you have found access to, you know, the viper, you know, or the cobra, you know, the box of puppies. Right. How you access that. I can certainly share how I have, but my emotions, I. I've learned in time. I don't always know exactly what they're telling me in the beginning, but I trust them enough to know that it's something. [00:26:36] And so the first place I try to access, if I'm not dissociating or avoiding, is to sit with it. Yeah. So usually it's like, I'm I'll just dissociate in my fantasy book or rewatching parks and recreation for the MPH teeth bajillion time. You know, it's just always a Sure bet. Yeah. It's just, it's hard for, life can only be so hard with Leslie Nope and little Sebastian, you know? [00:26:57] So anyway. But I wanna know where you find yourself in that shift. Yeah. Yeah. So you've got my head's like turning, I'm also still picturing puppies to be honest. That's okay. So I actually, I feel like I wanna give an example of something that I experienced last year, so two years ago. [00:27:11] It's crazy to think two years ago I went on this crazy journey to England. I went to London to take my daughter, who was not quite two years old yet to have a surgery over there for her ultra rare condition that was not available in the States. And I had talked to everybody in the States, of course, that had any knowledge about it and all they could tell me was, we don't really know anything about it. [00:27:35] We don't do it here. Kind of you're on your own, go for it. Or don't, we can't say that we would support you. All that matters is I went for it. And fortunately it did end up being the right decision, but I also knew that it could not be the right decision. And what I found on that experience was that I was originally desperate for picking the right way in life to move forward, that I could not make a decision. [00:28:06] I could not possibly move forward unless I was a hundred percent sure. But guess what? Life isn't real big on giving you a guarantee. Yeah. Guarantees with anything. And I think where I, that's where I started to learn that I don't have to have the answers to move forward. I can be looking at that box and I can see, oh my gosh, this could go terribly wrong. [00:28:34] But I think living with a hopeful mindset is something that allows me to keep my eye on that viper and then still interact with the puppies over here. My eye is still trained on it, but what I found is a peace in making my decision. And it was a, that feeling, that gut feeling. You know, it, I, it doesn't matter what you've gone through in life. [00:28:58] I can't believe that there's anybody out there who hasn't just had that. I call it just that knowing in your gut, it's a physical experience and that is something. That has helped me move forward in life. Because here's the thing, guys, nobody can ever stay truly still. And that's where a lot of our pain and discomfort comes from, is fighting moving forward without certainty. [00:29:23] Oh, let's pause right there. Oh my gosh. So there's something that Dr. Becky Kennedy who she has the good, she wrote the book Good Inside, and she's got her own beautiful podcast and work and content. She does. She really she focuses on kids, but she's really working on parents relationship with their inner child and by extension their parenting. [00:29:43] But she talks about something called, I've called it the Gap, but she calls it the learning space. So with kids, most of their frustration, tension and meltdowns happen between meeting a moment or. A moment arising and knowing how to meet the moment. And that learning space is usually the gap in knowing or understanding of this is what's arisen and I don't know how to meet this moment. [00:30:04] Right? And then if their context or their ability to meet it, if the moment exceeds their ability that's usually when there's a lot of pain or big feelings. Right. And I think with adults, that's usually where I see self-doubt, rumination anxiety, self-destructive tendencies. [00:30:23] Come in and you're right. You're, I love that you said we're never really still, I mean, one that's just true based on science and physics. We're never still that's actually one of the, like, there's like two necessary components, maybe three to being a living, being or a living entity. [00:30:36] I think, what is it? Movement, cell division, reproduction, and, I don't know, something else. Hey, anyone here pop off in the comments if you're a science boss, please gold star for you. Please. But but yeah, we're never truly still. And so even when you feel stagnant and stuck and even hearing you say that I'm actually processing in real time, one of the things that I have done that I, I discovered by accident, but probably because my body knew better than my mind did. [00:31:04] I would, it often does. I would take my feelings on walks. I would, I talked about that movement is essential if you are literally feeling stuck. I tell, that's what I tell everybody. Anytime they're spiraling. Which it's understandable. Go for a walk. Even if it is five minutes, walk up and down your stairs. [00:31:22] Or at the least one of my favorite things thank you Instagram reels for sucking up so much of my life at times in the hospital, but sometimes, but it's, sometimes it's, it is the perfect escape. It's okay to let the pressure off of ourselves. But there was this one that I saw it was this therapist who was like in her seventies and she was in Ireland and she's walking around in like this, you know, the quintessential Ireland landscape. [00:31:47] And she said, I tell all of my clients when you have a problem or a worry or something that's making you feel like you need to hurry, walk outside where you can see the sky and look up. Because the moment you remove a ceiling from your view, from your your line of sight, your mind opens with it. [00:32:08] And possibilities grow. And I have experienced that so often. And you think about it where you, when you're in a confined space. It only adds to those feelings of I'm stuck or I'm out of options, or I can't deal with this. But when you go outside and the world is just showing you how big it is and how small you are, there's actually a ton of comfort in that. [00:32:35] There's, I've also read and heard that there's something about the way that our eyes sort of gently move and follow and track side to side. Yeah. The movement around us that activates a similar calming sensation that our body experiences in REM sleep. Because if you're tracking a bird or tracking a squirrel, or just simply seeing like the trees and movement, track your kids. [00:32:55] Right. That'll keep you, your eyes all over the place. Girl. But like, 'cause right now we're facing a computer screen and we're in, we're under lights. Like, it's a very I mean, it's a lovely container, but it's a sterile container by comparison of being outside. And I Right. I do think that sometimes, like, like Lifeing. [00:33:11] It can be hard, and I never wanna oversimplify holding the challenges and moving through the challenges. Right. And yet I think sometimes when something feels overly, when something feels complex and impossible, it's almo. I, my instinct is to abandon the basics. And that is always the place to start. [00:33:32] That's always the place to start, is to go back to the basics. [00:33:35] Knowing what you know now what. Do you think the version of you, I wrote down three years ago, but I wanna go back to two years ago bef, like as you were navigating all the travel plans and the decision to go to the UK for your daughter's surgery, what do you think that version of Ashlyn needed to hear or needed to know? [00:33:55] And then the follow up question to that, after you answers, do you think she would've believed you? [00:33:59] It's really funny that you're asking this question because I actually had a conversation yesterday with a neighbor's daughter who is a film student, and this question has actually been going through my mind a lot lately about, I wonder where my life would be if I'd known this in my early thirties, if I'd known, or if I had known this in my twenties. [00:34:23] And I kept kind of going backwards like, I didn't know this then. Oh maybe if I'd known this. And I kept just, like I said, looking back and then what I realized is. It's so important that I didn't know those things because I had to experience them with the challenges. I had to climb the mountains for the first time to really understand the importance of gaining those skills for myself. So I actually think that Ashlyn, a couple years ago, I may have wanted to hear, I, what I wanted to hear was, you're making the right decision. I wanted to be validated by doctors, by people who I typically refer to as the ones who have the alphabet after their name. [00:35:06] Can somebody please just tell me, check, you know, you're making the right choice. Or this is what I would do if it were my child. And I wanted it so desperately that I, it did almost prevent me from going. But I am blessed that because of other experiences before that, right where pain had started to evolve into a guide for my life, a way of understanding what is most important to me. [00:35:37] It clarifies a lot. Exactly. Because often, you know, pain and fear are often about things we can't control, right? And what it showed me was that I don't need guaranteed outcomes to be able to sleep at night. I know that if I don't give it everything, including the kitchen sink, I won't be able to sleep at night. [00:36:03] I won't be able to look at Emery when she's an adult and tell her. We tried absolutely everything we could to give you the best quality of life, and that's what I needed to be able to give her. In order for me to feel good about the mom I am. And that's what was most important to me at that time. [00:36:23] So it sounds like maybe you trust in your ability to meet the moment enough that you don't think you would've gone back and told yourself anything? No, I think, and that's something that, like I said, I'd been thinking about a lot, like how many times if I'd only known this, if I if I'd only held my boundaries or if, or you know, these standards or, you know, all the things I could have done differently. [00:36:48] But as I said at the beginning of this, I feel like I have lived a thousand lives and become. A thousand new versions of myself, but you don't become your next self without going through something that carves away at you to reveal it. We don't grow through the easy no we stay stagnant. And besides small talk, my biggest fear in life is staying stagnant. [00:37:20] God, can we just let go of small talk? Oh my gosh. We all have a weather app and we all know the traffic patterns at this point. Like, do you know what's so funny about the weather app? I'm gonna use it every day. I treat my husband like the weather app, and we have an Alexa, like in, literally, like, I'll ask him what the temperature is and he'll be like. [00:37:41] Alexa. I just, oh my goodness. It's like those basic the basic like things of moving through life. I don't know why. It's like I've, I have this like faux that's of publicist. I'm like, I don't know what I'm, so what's the weather? I can't look out the window. I can't ask my own Alexa. [00:37:56] I always think, I think it's, I think it's more like, I think it's fair to acknowledge those as high. There's higher priorities that take up front of mind space. That's right. That's right. Things' so focused on the big things. Right? Yes. It's okay. We're not meant to like, you know, and I think that's another, that's one point I feel really compelled to bring up in this conversation based on all these things we've talked about, you know? [00:38:20] Yes. thank you for the chance to share what Parent Empowerment Network does, and the Empowered By Hope podcast is about addressing the real hard, the messy like, because as far as we're concerned, like once you get the news, your child is not okay. You're living in the messy middle from there on out. [00:38:36] And it can make you, or it can break you. And we're there to tell everybody, we promise this will make you. Even with worst case scenario, and that's a bold statement, but, you know, but it's one you've lived and I exactly. And I've seen countless others live, right? But I think it's so important that everybody, you know, I guess my dream would be if everybody could just realize we are not meant to carry pain and hardship and struggle by ourselves. [00:39:07] That's really what Parent Empowerment Network does. That's really what our podcast does, is it directly says to everybody who gets a chance to interact with us or who we have the honor to meet with. It just says, Hey, you are not expected to hold this alone. You know, put some of that on our plate. [00:39:24] Let's hold it together because it'll be better for everybody. It's not just you is like, again, that's what frees you from a victim mentality. You are not the only one who's ever experienced this. Right. You are not the only one who has suffered this way. And in by no means it's not to minimize. [00:39:40] Right. Exactly. It's not belittling it, it's not, it's definitely not dismissing it. But it's meant to serve as a lighthouse. Right. Our stories are unique. Yes, of course. And so that's, and I think that's what is endlessly, I will never be bored having an in-depth. Not small talk with the love of God, but like, I will never I will be endlessly fascinated by other people. [00:40:01] Because the stories are unique. Yeah. But there is a common thread that we can all see ourselves in or relate to. That, it's so enriching. Yeah. It's almost like, maybe because it's spring and, but I'm thinking it's like the pain is like the compost. Yeah. Something has to die in rotten decay in order to nurture something new. To grow. Yep. Exactly. And I, and that pain serves as fur. It's fertilizing the new, the next round of growth. Right. Yeah. It's not making anything vanish or destroying it, it's just, but it has to break down to build back up. I think that's why mosaics are my favorite type of art. [00:40:39] Yeah. I have such a strong connection to any piece that I see that's made up of a mosaic. And I remember that coming true for me when my dad had his massive stroke and. You know, he was completely debilitated, couldn't speak for himself, couldn't move his own body. He lived like that almost two years. But I remember getting really close to a couple key therapists in his life. [00:41:04] And I remember just after he passed, I got them both a small gift. It was these little mosaic art pieces for them. And I said, when I saw those, I knew that this was the right thing because you didn't see my dad as a destroyed person. You saw him as for the broken pieces. He was that to be put back, to be put together into something that was new and beautiful on its own. [00:41:33] And that's what I feel like pain has the ability to do for all of us. It's okay. And I to acknowledge that you are broken. But it's also just as important to acknowledge that you can be remade into something. You, the old you is gone. You know, when we go through something awful hard, unimaginable it's really easy to think that I will feel this way forever. There is a finality that we attach to painful experiences and it takes often somebody from the outside to gently help us realize that's not reality. I often, when I'm in that transition and I'm not aware or I'm just not ready to admit there are either, there's usually it's I there's usually things I wanna carry along with me. [00:42:28] Yep. It's like. Like an old dingy snugly blanket or like a stuffed animal that like has like holes worn in and like an eyes popped off. It's just but I when I've gone through those transitions, it's saying goodbye to maybe friendships that aren't serving me. [00:42:42] Yep. Or titles, roles levels of output expectations, stories, ways of being and the way, and to go back to pain as a professor, which is going to be the title. That it's only when I try to take the old way of being or the old relationship that is no longer serving into my new now reality. [00:43:04] When it feels anything other than good. Yeah. That's information exactly that it's showing me something and. That curiosity over constriction can also for me look like curiosity over criticism. And because that criticism is usually either dialed inward, what's wrong with me? Right. Or what's wrong with them? [00:43:25] Versus , what is happening Exactly. What's going on? What is this showing me? And I would say probably saying goodbye to relationships or friendships has probably been the hardest. Yeah. The hard, because there is this idea that I'm like if I like it, and it's like in a possessive way. [00:43:42] It's, if I like you forever. And I, and of course that is true. I mean, it, there's nobody who's been in my life that's added value that I don't appreciate. Right. But but I think that the shedding. Yeah. It's like I, I want the next thing, but I also don't wanna let the old thing go. [00:43:56] Right. And so it's, I think I've spent a lot of time and energy trying to like, pull that thing with me. Whatever it is and whatever that stage. But I think that there's when you can fully embrace, 'cause what I'm hearing from you is when you can fully embrace I am different now. [00:44:11] Yep. This is different. This mosaic. I'm not, I may not be able to carry water like I was as a vase. Right. But I'm gonna look really great as this. Yeah. And the other thing I wanna shift to before, before I get to your, don't cut your own bangs question. What I wanna ask you, you've mentioned art a couple of different times. [00:44:28] And this is to, to reference Dr. Martha Beck again. She has done a lot of incredible work in the last couple years where a way to. Step out of anxiety is not to try to access calm. 'cause we talked about going for a walk, right? So, because as much as I love these big conversations, it can be sometimes like, what is something tangible I can actually hold onto? [00:44:53] So walking with something we talked about community and connection with something else we talked about, but Art, I wanna talk about that for a moment because that is what my book was for me. Yeah. It was I created something that only that felt like it was to serve me. The process of interacting with that idea was so delightful and so delicious and so fun that I was like, I feel like I'm just the luckiest person that like this is, oh wow, I get to play with this thing. [00:45:21] Yeah. And it wants to play with me. And I don't feel that all the time. Like sometimes it's origami or doodling or coloring with my daughter. But to go back to Dr. Martha Beck's work that the opposite of anxiety is not calm, it's creativity. Oh, I love that. And you have by default really spoken through, like just healing through creating. [00:45:43] Oh, absolutely. And also there's something about, 'cause calm, there's something about calm that like, we must be still, and granted I love meditation, but like, I must be still, I must be calm. But when you are holding something that is buzzing and shaking or heavy or hot, like just some emotions are hot, like you, it's like you wanna move it through your hands or your words or your body and make something, right. [00:46:06] And you made me, she made me this bracelet before we started this episode. So like, it feels like you have a relationship with creativity too. A hundred percent. Creativity is a lifeline. And I feel like, and the most chaotic moments of my life have been the least I'm my least creative and I think it's a really. [00:46:29] Valuable, tangible thing for anybody to take from this conversation is if you are feeling out of control, lean into something as simple as I'm obsessed with those adult, you know, like the coloring books. Yes. You know, for adults to have like tons of different like lines all over the place that you have to be like really specific to keep the marker in there. [00:46:51] It can't, I do get a little bugged when it like bleeds over to the next section, but, , it's okay. I know I'm working through my, , my stressors at that moment. But yes, giving yourself a creative outlet, it's like taking a big drink of water after you've been exercising and you are so parched. [00:47:07] And I also agree that , calm sounds great in theory, but for me I feel like the more important, like the word that's become more important or I'm better able to. Absorb is the idea of am I grounded? Are my feet touching the ground? I can still have a lot going on, but when I'm like rising higher, you know, off the ground, 'cause like, I'm like a bird at this point, just flapping my arms so fast, right. [00:47:35] That I'm actually taking flight. I'm not in my best head space, but when I can just take a moment to literally just ground myself, make sure that my feet are, whether it's in the grass or sit down like this. And a conversation with a friend, somebody who really knows you is a great moment for that. [00:47:53] It's a great way to remind you who you are is somebody else. Sometimes I talk all the time about the value of when you can connect with somebody who feels with you, not just for you. Oh my gosh. It makes the world so much lighter and goodness. I mean, huh. That's probably if I could have answered the question I asked you a little bit ago, what's something that you could have if I could have told my former therapist self, like when I very when I first started, you're there to hold space for people to feel and feel with them. [00:48:23] Right. Exactly. You're not there. It's sacred. Yeah. It's there's nothing, one, it's like, there's nothing I can tell someone who's deeply in pain that they're actually gonna No. , That's, the words are just like, right. It's just noise. Yeah. And not to take anything. I'm sure I have clients who have been impacted by words. [00:48:40] But having a safe space to feel your feelings free of judgment. Is one of the reasons why I love journaling so much, but also doing that in communion Yeah. With another human right who expects nothing of you. I love Elizabeth Gilbert has language I love, like there's no precious outcome. [00:48:57] Like I can, that I can sit and have space with you or I can make plans with you or be, and there's no precious outcome. You don't have to perform for me. Right. You don't have to be anything for me. Like we can just be that is what a gift. Yes, that is. I just want to, this conversation has inspired way too many thoughts, but in the best way. [00:49:15] But something that hit me and then I think we could absolutely move on to Yeah. This the cut your bangs question. But what I've realized even in our conversation is that logic is not loud . our emotions are loud and they get louder and louder. The more we. Push them back the more we ignore them. [00:49:36] Think of your kids until they, when they need your attention. Because they deserve your attention. They do. The best thing we can do is acknowledge those emotions and just, even if it's as simple as, it's totally understandable. I feel this way right now. That is such a freeing sentence. Of course, I feel this way right now. [00:49:58] That was some serious shit that I just went through. Yeah . of course, I feel, and it doesn't have to make sense when those feelings hit the timing a lot of times feelings for me, I've found won't hit until I'm in a safe space much further down the road. Yes. And it's like being T-boned, like yes, totally out of the blue. [00:50:19] But that's also what happens to kids when they have tantrums. Ah, yeah. They'll hold. And then when they're finally either home at the end of the day or something, when the container is so full and they're finally in a place where they feel safe, they'll erupt over an orange peel not being peeled correctly. [00:50:32] Or , or a banana not being peeled correctly. Oh gosh. And it's not that, don't even start me on string cheese. God. Oh God. Parenting is fun. The best, but No, but you're right. Sometimes, I think that's probably why I cry almost with like every movie and TV show I watch. [00:50:47] Yeah. Because the emotions are just always right there and I just need a place to let it trickle out. Right. And that's okay. And I think, but just not judging ourselves for feelings. And then I think once we give that space or the feelings, the sooner we can do that, the sooner that logic, you know, like you, you mentioned multiple times, I know this, then you give logic. [00:51:13] The space that it needs to speak to you in a calm and quiet manner that you can actually trust. And that's where I think that those gut feelings truly come from. Those inner knowings are, when you've allowed space for the emotions first, given them their due. So then the logic can start to talk to you because it's never going to yell for your attention. [00:51:35] No. And I think we want it to, but that's not the way it works. And that's okay. A lot of times things make sense in hindsight, oh gosh, hindsight's 2020. Always. South Park has a great episode. If people if you have just like a dark sense of humor and you wanna laugh at, there's a character called Captain Hindsight and it's really funny. [00:51:54] . So yeah, a lot of times things don't make sense until we're. A little bit more removed from them. Yep. And some what I have found to be helpful, I've noticed you using your hands. Yeah. And I find when I am, when my mind is really active and I need it to stop or slow down or I just i'll sometimes even throw my hands up. Yeah. And I'll say, and even saying. I'm feeling something and just to myself in my kitchen. 'cause I'm almost always , because I work from home, I'm either like in my office or in my kitchen, like I'm feeling something. As soon as you did that, it's gonna show on video. [00:52:25] I like saw from the corner of my eye myself, naturally going, whew. Yeah. Just sound like inhale. Exhale. Yes. It's like something is being felt. Something's happening. I don't know what it is, but something's happening. And I think, in a lot of ways too, like that's how we have these internal smoke signals. [00:52:42] Yeah. And it's the same way, like your smoke detector in your house doesn't know the difference between burnt toast and something on fire, right? But it will beep when it senses. Yeah. When it senses something. And so my body is like sensing something. Is this a threat? [00:52:56] Are we safe? Yes, we're safe. Oh, we're likely. We just needed water. We're just dehydrated. Uhhuh. Or we just, yeah. So any number of things. But that was so good. Thank you. And yes, I would love, love, love to know your don't cut your own bang moment. And for anybody who is new to the podcast, 'cause I think there are some new people here. [00:53:15] Thank you for being here. Don't cut Your own bang moment is a moment where you went all in on something like cutting your own bangs, you grabbed some scissors, you watched a YouTube video, you're like, I got this. And you go, and then, oh no, this wasn't what I thought it would be. But the value in a don't Cut Your own Bang moment is not only that we can share in the silliness of humanity and mistakes, but also like maybe we learn something from it. [00:53:42] So, Ashlyn? Yes. I would love to hear your Don't cut your own bang moment. Oh my goodness. I think that there's probably a plethora of them. Oh, of course. And, let's see here. I'm even, I tried to have one prepared, and then I got excited about the rest of our conversation. Oh my gosh. Don't worry. So, okay I'll share one. [00:53:58] So what's a good, don't a good, oh. I invited my husband to record a podcast with me because I thought it would just be, , fun to bring him back on. And what I realized was I didn't prepare him for it at all. I just set up lights and set up a camera and asked him to sit. And he was so, visibly like he was trying, he was sitting, he was trying. [00:54:23] But I could just tell, again, something's happening. And I could tell he was a little uncomfortable and a little stiff. And I kept, because our eyes look out. My first assumption is, what's wrong out there? And I was like, what are you okay? What's wrong? And he he was , I don't really know what I'm supposed to be doing. [00:54:41] And then I was like. Oh, no, it was snip the bangs. I didn't provide any context. I didn't give him any preparation for what we'd be talking about, why we'd be talking like he had no context. And the whole setup is different, uhhuh. And it was such a humbling, settling moment of context. [00:55:04] It's I'm writing something right now about this idea of play. I'm a freedom loving, freedom seeking play hungry, greedy person right now. I want more play. I could never get enough. But what makes play feel fun and safe is to understand the context. Yeah. , There's rules in a game. [00:55:20] Otherwise, what is it? And I, my first instinct is to buck. Rules. I don't like ingredient lists. I don't like recipes. I just wanna feel my way through it. But, if you wanna make a beautiful croissant, you can't just feel your way through that. There's a very exacting way to do it. And so, it, it was such a one, I'm endlessly grateful for him and his patients with me. [00:55:40] I'm grateful that , our dynamics not new, so he probably knew what was going on, but just did yeah he's pretty sweet that way. But I, it was such a refresher that , if I wanna create a space and container to play safely with people Yeah. I need to give them the context. Absolutely. And it doesn't matter how long I've known someone, how well I know someone. [00:55:59] I laughed at myself because I, the part of the reason why it feels funny to me, but in like a humbling way. I thought the problem was him for like the first 15 minutes. I was like, what dude? Relax. I was like, what? Is he doing it right? [00:56:12] Yeah. like come on. And I was like. Oh no. Context. Zero. Oh my goodness. So that was a great one. Thank you. Okay, I'm gonna do mine in like short seconds because this one just hap this that inspired me perfectly. So my 8-year-old son and I are both going to the same therapist right now. [00:56:30] I'm a believer everybody should have at least an annual checkup with a therapist, but that's a great endorsement. Everyone should have an you annual checkup. You welcome, reach out to Danielle, she's fantastic. If you live in Indiana, by all means. If not, we'll help you find someone. Yes. And also order the book. [00:56:44] Yes, order the book. Get resting the wall risk. Get treasured. Yes. But go on please. So anyway one, one of the things that my I, the reason I love the person we're working with is because she's the first therapist I've worked with when it comes to, with my kids, she actually tells me what I can work on rather than just , you're doing the best you can and like you just love 'em. [00:57:03] And like, yes, I know, but that is not helping me. And so one of the things that got pointed out to me. Was so Cole , has very low frustration tolerance, like more so than is necessarily healthy for an 8-year-old. And of course with all the trauma with our his sister, our journey, it's understandable. [00:57:22] So we're working on that. What she kindly pointed out to me was, okay, we could work on his, but do you also realize that your tolerance for acceptable emotions is about this big? Oh, she's , therapist, be therapist Uhhuh. She's , but there's like a whole lot more emo like, she's , it's like a whole rainbow. [00:57:42] We need a whole arc for acceptable emotions. She's so you need to stop making it your responsibility to control which emotions he experiences. And it's up to you to provide the solid ground for him no matter which emotion comes up for him. And I will say that has changed my parenting in the last week. [00:58:04] More than maybe anything has like faster than anything. Because all of a sudden I'm like, of course it's acceptable that his sister just made him extremely mad. Of course it's understandable that he's jealous or sad or excited or whatever the feeling is, but it also doesn't define him as right or wrong, what emotions he's experiencing in that moment. [00:58:28] And the big thing was the realization that every emotion he experiences is not a direct reflection of who I am as a parent. No. Because that was what I needed to let go of that any emotion that is considered negative that my child has doesn't mean. That I'm doing a bad job as a parent. Oh my God. [00:58:49] That is one. What a beautiful. Don't cut. Thank you. With Dr. Sarah. Yes. Thank you, Dr. Sarah. You'd be therapizing all up in that session. That was so good. And it's the, that to me is a great example that hard truths can always be delivered with kindness. Yeah. But I think the big important thing there is you had the right context. [00:59:12] Exactly. You went to her for that information. Right. It wasn't like someone on the street. But the thing that we can't give someone what we don't have. Exactly. And I actually think that what you just said, if there was ever an endorsement for what. Self-care actually is not the commoditized, right. [00:59:29] Faux sense of, I'm gonna create a problem and I'm going to prescribe collagen. Did you know that the reason why, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah is these things that you need to buy and, oh, my program for blah, blah, blah, blah. And I'm gonna, I have all that stuff. I'm not I'm wanna, I wanna keep it in perspective. [00:59:45] I am drinking the same Kool-Aid 'cause I'm getting sent the same algorithm ads that we're all getting sent. Like I'm doing colostrum now. I don't even know. Like, I just, because I was like, my gut might grow up I own, but anyway but I think self-care and the best possible context is when you nurture. [01:00:03] And heal yourself. It becomes the medicine. Yes. Yes. And the offering for the other people in your life that you love most. It's like as you increase your own palette of what you're able to allow yourself to experience, you're then also able to see it in your son and give it to him. That is so beautiful and it's hard. [01:00:26] Sometimes, but it's some God that a well timed, articulated loving truth like that can change your life. Yeah. That is amazing. Thank you. I don't know, we can't top that. That was good. We're good. That was real good. Ashlyn Thompson, thank you so much for coming back and we're going to have you back. [01:00:43] You have to come back. Yes. And you're coming over to Empowered by Hope very soon. I would love that so much. And Yes. And so all of the ways, if you or anyone you know in your life has been impacted by a little one with complex me complex medical issues and you want some support, you want some information, you want some resources. [01:01:01] The link in the show notes will have every way that you can connect with Ashlyn, her business partner, and what was formally Charlotte's Hope Foundation, what is now the Parent Empowerment Network. Pick up all the books, all the resources, everything I talked about too for my stuff is also in there. [01:01:16] But , it's all linked for you there. So I hope that you get what you need and. Thanks so much, . Oh my gosh. [01:01:21] If you've ever wanted to pick up journaling,

Click here for the DRB Daily Sign Up form! TODAY'S SCRIPTURE: Click HERE to give! Get Free App Here! One Year Bible Podcast: Join Hunter and Heather Barnes on 'The Daily Radio Bible' for a daily 20-minute spiritual journey. Engage with scripture readings, heartfelt devotionals, and collective prayers that draw you into the heart of God's love. Embark on this year-long voyage through the Bible, and let each day's passage uplift and inspire you. TODAY'S EPISODE: TODAY'S DEVOTION: TODAY'S PRAYERS: Lord God Almighty and everlasting father you have brought us in safety to this new day preserve us with your Mighty power that we might not fall into sin or be overcome by adversity. And in all we do, direct us to the fulfilling of your purpose  through Jesus Christ Our Lord amen.   Oh God you have made of one blood all the peoples of the earth and sent your blessed son to preach peace to those who are far and those who are near. Grant that people everywhere may seek after you, and find you. Bring the nations into your fold, pour out your Spirit on all flesh, and hasten the coming of your kingdom through Jesus Christ our Lord, Amen.   And now Lord,  make me an instrument of your peace.  Where there is hatred let me sow love. Where there is injury, pardon.  Where there is doubt, faith. Where there is despair, hope.  Where there is darkness, light.  And where there is sadness,  Joy.  Oh Lord grant that I might not seek to be consoled as to console. To be understood as to understand, to be loved as to love.  For it is in the giving that we receive, in the pardoning that we are pardoned, it is in the dying that we are born unto eternal life.  Amen And now as our Lord has taught us we are bold to pray... Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name, thy kingdom come thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven, give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our tresspasses as we forgive those who trespass against us, and lead us not unto temptation, but deliver us from evil, for thine is the Kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen. Loving God, we give you thanks for restoring us in your image. And nourishing us with spiritual food, now send us forth as forgiven people, healed and renewed, that we may proclaim your love to the world, and continue in the risen life of Christ.  Amen.  OUR WEBSITE: www.dailyradiobible.com We are reading through the New Living Translation.   Leave us a voicemail HERE: https://www.speakpipe.com/dailyradiobible Subscribe to us at YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Dailyradiobible/featured OTHER PODCASTS: Listen with Apple Podcast DAILY BIBLE FOR KIDS DAILY PSALMS DAILY PROVERBS DAILY LECTIONARY DAILY CHRONOLOGICAL  

Proverbs 15, Summer Psal. Proverbs are back for a limited time, and we are ready to jump right in with this Book of Proverbs, looking at how our relationship to Jesus transforms conflict in our other relationships. As we look to the reading of God's word, if you please join with me in prayer. Oh God, we do ask that you would guide us by your word and spirit, that in your light we may see the light of your

Click here for the DRB Daily Sign Up form! TODAY'S SCRIPTURE: 2 Kings 6-7; 2 Chronicles 20; 1 Timothy 3 Click HERE to give! Get Free App Here! One Year Bible Podcast: Join Hunter and Heather Barnes on 'The Daily Radio Bible' for a daily 20-minute spiritual journey. Engage with scripture readings, heartfelt devotionals, and collective prayers that draw you into the heart of God's love. Embark on this year-long voyage through the Bible, and let each day's passage uplift and inspire you. TODAY'S EPISODE: TODAY'S DEVOTION: TODAY'S PRAYERS: Lord God Almighty and everlasting father you have brought us in safety to this new day preserve us with your Mighty power that we might not fall into sin or be overcome by adversity. And in all we do, direct us to the fulfilling of your purpose  through Jesus Christ Our Lord amen.   Oh God you have made of one blood all the peoples of the earth and sent your blessed son to preach peace to those who are far and those who are near. Grant that people everywhere may seek after you, and find you. Bring the nations into your fold, pour out your Spirit on all flesh, and hasten the coming of your kingdom through Jesus Christ our Lord, Amen.   And now Lord,  make me an instrument of your peace.  Where there is hatred let me sow love. Where there is injury, pardon.  Where there is doubt, faith. Where there is despair, hope.  Where there is darkness, light.  And where there is sadness,  Joy.  Oh Lord grant that I might not seek to be consoled as to console. To be understood as to understand, to be loved as to love.  For it is in the giving that we receive, in the pardoning that we are pardoned, it is in the dying that we are born unto eternal life.  Amen And now as our Lord has taught us we are bold to pray... Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name, thy kingdom come thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven, give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our tresspasses as we forgive those who trespass against us, and lead us not unto temptation, but deliver us from evil, for thine is the Kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen. Loving God, we give you thanks for restoring us in your image. And nourishing us with spiritual food, now send us forth as forgiven people, healed and renewed, that we may proclaim your love to the world, and continue in the risen life of Christ.  Amen.  OUR WEBSITE: www.dailyradiobible.com We are reading through the New Living Translation.   Leave us a voicemail HERE: https://www.speakpipe.com/dailyradiobible Subscribe to us at YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Dailyradiobible/featured OTHER PODCASTS: Listen with Apple Podcast DAILY BIBLE FOR KIDS DAILY PSALMS DAILY PROVERBS DAILY LECTIONARY DAILY CHRONOLOGICAL  

Trump came down that golden escalator ten years ago this week, and thus began America's descent to the depths of madness. The gang looks back on his political journey, from launching into the GOP race from Trump Tower to whatever you'd describe where we are now. Plus, Reform UK won loads of council seats – and now it actually has to take charge of things. So, how's that going? (We promise we say more than just bad.) Then in the Extra Bit for supporters – can we ever be as happy as Finland? And what does that even mean? • Listen to The Bunker including Andrew's interview with Peter Ricketts.  ESCAPE ROUTES  •  Matt went to see The Ballad of Wallis Island at the cinema • Zoe went to Primavera in Barcelona – and she says to watch Chappell Roan's set online if you can!  • Raf went to see Showstopper! • Dorian suggests Decoder Ring   www.patreon.com/ohgodwhatnow    Presented by Dorian Lynskey with Rafael Behr, Zoe Grunewald and Matt Green. Producer: Chris Jones. Audio. Production by Robin Leeburn. Music by Cornershop Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. OH GOD, WHAT NOW? is a Podmasters production.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

How do you embrace slow living when the world demands speed? Lesley and Brad reflect on Lesley's interview with author and slow living advocate Stephanie O'Dea. They explore how intention, structure, and seasonal living can create a more fulfilling life. This episode is a reminder that it's okay to go at your own pace and that it might be the key to your peace.If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co mailto:beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.In this episode you will learn about:Why structure and routine are key for creating freedom.How living with intention helps reduce overwhelm.What seasonal living looks like and why it works.How guilt and people-pleasing get in the way of presence.Small steps to start building a slower, more values-aligned life.Episode References/Links:eLevate Workout and Q&A - https://lesleylogan.co/elevatewaitlistAgency Mini - https://prfit.biz/miniOPC Summer Tour - https://opc.me/tourLA Tour - https://opc.me/laBalanced Body - https://www.pilates.comUK Mullet Tour - https://opc.me/ukCambodia October 2025 Waitlist - https://crowsnestretreats.comSubmit Your Questions - https://beitpod.com/questionsStephanie O'Dea's Website - https://stephanieodea.comFree Daily Journaling Worksheet - stephanieodea.com/dailySlow Living Podcast - https://stephanieodea.com/podcastBook: The Messy Middle by Scott Belsky - https://a.co/d/6f2NCI7 If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSIDEALS! DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentCheck out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper's Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentBe in the know with all the workshops at OPC https://workshops.onlinepilatesclasses.com/lp-workshop-waitlistBe It Till You See It Podcast Survey https://pod.lesleylogan.co/be-it-podcasts-surveyBe a part of Lesley's Pilates Mentorship https://lesleylogan.co/elevate/FREE Ditching Busy Webinar https://ditchingbusy.com/ Resources:Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gLesley Logan website https://lesleylogan.co/Be It Till You See It Podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjogqXLnfyhS5VlU4rdzlnQProfitable Pilates https://profitablepilates.com/about/ Follow Us on Social Media:Instagram https://www.instagram.com/lesley.logan/The Be It Till You See It Podcast YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gFacebook https://www.facebook.com/llogan.pilatesLinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesley-logan/The OPC YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/@OnlinePilatesClasses Episode Transcript:Lesley Logan 0:00  Whenever we're trying to make things happen fast, but it usually means we want to skip ahead. And unfortunately, when you skip ahead, you miss out on like the muscle strength and experience you need for where you're going to go. So then when you get there, not only are you further along than you are strong enough to be, but now you don't have the skill set to handle the problems you have. Lesley Logan 0:18  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. Lesley Logan 1:01  Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap where my co-host in life, Brad, and I are going to dig into the sustainable convo I had with Stephanie O'Dea in our last episode. If you haven't yet listened that episode, you need to, as part of a slow living request, you got to go rush over and just make it.Brad Crowell 1:17  Just rush right now, get over there. Lesley Logan 1:20  Do not pass go. You gotta listen to it. She's so great. She's so fun. I got to be on her podcast as well. But also she's like, a famous, like, slow-cooking person, like she's.Brad Crowell 1:30  Yeah, Crock-Pot. Lesley Logan 1:31  Just the famous Crock-Pot. Brad Crowell 1:33  Not insta-pot. Lesley Logan 1:33  Yeah, no. Brad Crowell 1:34  She was very upset about the Instant Pot. Lesley Logan 1:37  She was and we were really in on the insta-pot, but we got off the insta-pot, we like made soup.Brad Crowell 1:44  Yeah, still do occasionally. It's good times. Lesley Logan 1:47  Just whenever we're home when it's soup weather. Speaking of what day today is, today is June 19th 2025 and it's Juneteenth here in the United States. The freedom of African Americans from slavery in the U.S. in 1865 is celebrated on the holiday Juneteenth on June 19th. Juneteenth is made up of the words June and 19th. Brad Crowell 2:06  Case you didn't know.Lesley Logan 2:08  Just, whoever writes these, it's always just the explanation of the day, using the day you can't. Brad Crowell 2:15  It's celebrated every year on this day. Lesley Logan 2:17  Yes, yes. And it is on this day that Major General Gordon Granger, wow, arrived in Texas, more than 155 years ago, to inform slaves that slavery had been abolished. Today is also.Brad Crowell 2:31  Yeah, well I just want to comment on that because, because they just ignored the messengers and they were like, nah, we're good. We're gonna keep doing.Lesley Logan 2:41  Not the slaves, the bad people. Brad Crowell 2:43  Yeah, the slavers. They were like, yeah, we're just gonna keep going. And then they, they sent, well, actually, I don't, I actually, don't know who first, who came first. It's possible that Gordon Granger got there to make the initial announcement, and then later it had to be enforced.Lesley Logan 3:01  Yeah, this is something that the day didn't give us information on. And I feel like I've read about, here's what I do, every Juneteenth I actually read about it and I find myself appalled that this happened. And then also, of course, it didn't, and also the time we're recording this. Brad Crowell 3:15  Also, of course it did what? Lesley Logan 3:16  I said at the time that we're recording this. Brad Crowell 3:18  No, no, before that you said. Lesley Logan 3:19  Of course, it did, of course, bad things. Of course it happened because they're shitty people. Of course it happened. But on this time that we are recording this, because the day after a very, very huge slave, like the largest slave sugar plantation, slave house burned to the ground, it was turned into a wedding venue, and so people are having those antebellum weddings, and it's like humongous tons of rooms like but was one of the worst slave places in Louisiana, and it burned to the ground. And I have to say, people are celebrating the fuck out of it online. And I have no problems with that. In fact, I have why I like was celebrating and smiling with them every reel of every person, like dancing and going, oh, do you need some water? And then pouring away from the fire. I was like, yes, yes to all of it. Because, I mean, I just, it's just, it's bad. So anyways, please make sure that you are honoring Juneteenth today. Take some time to read up on it. If you didn't know about it. We obviously still have some learning to do, but it's an important day. Brad Crowell 4:25  Remember this general. Major General. Lesley Logan 4:27  Yeah, Major General Gordon Granger. Brad Crowell 4:30  That's a mouthful. Lesley Logan 4:30  That is a mouthful. I mean, his parents didn't name him Major General, so.Brad Crowell 4:37  Fortunately for his parents. Lesley Logan 4:38  What if he become a ranger? Then he'd be Ranger Granger. Brad Crowell 4:42  Major General Gordon Granger Ranger. Lesley Logan 4:44  No, he would have just been a ranger. It would have been Ranger Granger. All right, today is also the International Day for the Elimination of Sexual Violence and Conflict for everyone else there, out there in the world. So we wanted to, because it's an international show and so on this International Day for the Elimination of Sexual Violence and Conflict is observed every year on June 19th to raise awareness about sexual violence and conflict and to strategize ways to end these crimes throughout the world. On June 19th 2015, United Nations General Assembly proclaimed the date as the International Day for the Elimination of Sexual Violence and Conflict. This date commemorates the adoption of Security Council Resolution 1820 in which the Council condemned sexual violence as a tactic of war and an impediment to peace building. Yeah, wow. Brad Crowell 5:31  Yeah, this one's heavy. Lesley Logan 5:32  It's a heavy day. Brad, these are heavy. Brad Crowell 5:35  Yeah. I mean, you know, like, I listen to a lot of deep dive interviews about the conflicts in Europe, you know, and then a. Lesley Logan 5:45  Oh, it's terrible what they do. Brad Crowell 5:46  In the Middle East and in Africa. And, you know, like they're using rape as a tool of war in. Lesley Logan 5:54  So many countries. Brad Crowell 5:55  In the Ukraine, you know, in, in, it's historically.Lesley Logan 6:01  Yeah, it's happening. It's happened. It's happened for centuries and it happens everywhere, and it is horrifying. So I think it's, think it's, I can't believe it took till 2015 for the world to be like, this is a bad thing. Brad Crowell 6:16  Well, I mean, it's been, you know, it's a war crime. It's been war crime for a really long time. But yeah, maybe just this, you know, the day bringing awareness to it. Lesley Logan 6:27  Do you know who then, who gets to be the court for war crimes, like, who does it? Brad Crowell 6:33  Yeah. So there's the International Criminal Court, the ICC. Lesley Logan 6:37  Oh. Brad Crowell 6:37  Yeah and we're not a part of it, we don't honor the ICC as the United States of America, which is a complicated political decision. Lesley Logan 6:47  We are winning. We are winning in the history books right now, guys. Well, you know what? I think we need to bring this day up a little bit. So first of all, I think Juneteenth is like a positive holiday, right? Brad Crowell 7:04  Yeah, Juneteenth is a positive holiday. I think that it's important to remember, but also it's a day of celebration. So, love that. Lesley Logan 7:12  Okay. And. Brad Crowell 7:13  We can talk more about the ICC later, y'all, if you're really interested.Lesley Logan 7:16  I don't think anyone came here. We'll get Brad his own segment at the end. Brad Crowell 7:21  I listen to a lot of this kind of stuff, and, you know, it's interesting, it's interesting why we chose not to be, you know, part of it, but also we still. Lesley Logan 7:30  Well, because we would be in trouble for war crimes all the time. Brad Crowell 7:32  We would be in trouble for war crimes. That's right.Lesley Logan 7:34  Yes, that's right, okay, but you know what's happening that's going to be more fun than all this talk? July.Brad Crowell 7:42  Slow living. Lesley Logan 7:44  July 9th, we are hosting, wait, oh, we are doing this. Yes, okay. Brad Crowell 7:50  Yeah, this is actually happening. Lesley Logan 7:52  Okay, but there's a few things going on and July is very busy. Brad Crowell 7:54  July is a busy month for us. Lesley Logan 7:54  So, so it's June right now, obviously, Juneteenth, but July 9th, I am hosting an eLevate workout and Q&A. So if you're a Pilates instructor, this is a free workout. It's a way to get your questions about eLevate, my mentorship, answered. You can hear from people who've done eLevate and why they like it and why you should do it, because you shouldn't take it from me. You can take it from the people who've been part of it. So you want to go to lesleylogan.co/elevatewaitlist lesleylogan.co/elevatewaitlist. Then on July 17th, we are doing an Agency Mini. Guess we are bringing it back for Pilates instructors and studio owners. Brad Crowell 8:30  Yeah, that's exciting. Lesley Logan 8:30  If you remember, we used to, up until last year, do it a little week long coaching program for Pilate instructors and studio owners. And we loved it, and it was amazing, and then we stopped doing it, and we're like, we're never doing it again, because it was there's parts of it that were amazing, were amazing, and some of the parts were overwhelming, and they were overwhelming. Brad Crowell 8:48  Yeah, not just for us, but also for the attendees. Lesley Logan 8:51  Mostly, for, yeah, it was less about there's less about us, more, so we have been working behind the scenes on making some amazing changes, and now we have a new Mini. Brad Crowell 9:01  We've got a mini Mini, but we're just still calling it Mini, yeah, but yeah, it's only three days, not seven. Lesley Logan 9:06  Yes. And you get all the best parts of Mini, which is a workshop on how to actually attract clients you want to work with. Then you get to use Lesley on Demand, this amazing tool. So we'll help you with your I Help statement. And then you get to join office hours with Brad and I, includes breath work, and we're going to answer all the running questions about your business on this call. It's so much fun. You can see if Agency is right for you, but also you can get questions answered. And, you know, take that information with you. Brad Crowell 9:31  Just come party about your biz. It's gonna be good. Go to prfit.biz/mini prfit.biz/mini yeah.Lesley Logan 9:39  And then July, yeah, I believe we actually start on the 24th but maybe we start on the 25th Don't ask me. We start end of July, and we go to August 17th, and it's the OPC Summer Tour. You're gonna go to opc.me/tour to get your tickets for and see the cities we're going to. We are going up.Brad Crowell 9:58  We teach in Phoenix on the 25th So we could go down on the 24th.Lesley Logan 10:01  Oh, okay, cool. You know, we'll do whatever. Maybe we'll go to the Oatman Ranch and we'll go play with the donkeys. Brad Crowell 10:08  I don't remember that. ILesley Logan 10:10  Yeah, I told you about it. I told you about it. Brad Crowell 10:12  Oatman. Lesley Logan 10:12  I think it's called Oatman. Um, anyways, um, you guys, we're gonna start in Phoenix, and we go to San Diego, then it's Los Angeles, and it's Santa Barbara, and then maybe a city in between, and then San Francisco, and then Sacramento, and then Eureka, and then Portland and Seattle, Vancouver, yes, you just heard Vancouver, Canada, and then Kamloops, Canada and Calgary, Canada. And then we're gonna come down into Idaho and Utah. Brad Crowell 10:42  We're gonna swing through Montana for a bit. We want to see glacier. Lesley Logan 10:45  Well, for vacation, yeah, so, but, you know. Brad Crowell 10:48  We'll be posting about a coffee shop and white fish, probably. Lesley Logan 10:52  Yeah. Well, at any rate, you want to go to opc.me/tour to snag your tickets. And by the way, we end in Las Vegas, and that class already sold out. Brad Crowell 10:59  I know it's insane. I can't believe it. Bam. Lesley Logan 11:02  24 hours. Class sold out. We already have. Brad Crowell 11:03  20 seats in. Lesley Logan 11:04  Yeah. Brad Crowell 11:05  That's. Lesley Logan 11:06  Well, we did tell them if they wanted us to come, and they did. Yeah, yeah, opc.me/tour of course, we are sponsored again by Balanced Body and Contrology. We're bringing our Contrology equipment. It's gonna be so much fun. Then in September we are going to be in the U.K. We have two amazing stops, Leeds and Essex. Leeds, you can get two day pass there. There's only three spots left, so. Brad Crowell 11:31  Only three spots left in Leeds. Lesley Logan 11:33  At the time that we're recording. So we're recording this, obviously, before Juneteenth, so you never know. And then in Essex, we actually opened up the day passes, because we're doing Essex on a Tuesday and a Wednesday. So you could do an all day Tuesday. Brad Crowell 11:44  You'll come out for the day from the city. Lesley Logan 11:46  All day Wednesday. We know it's not easy to get two days away during the week, but also it's really hard to get away on the weekends, so we offered you two options, during the weekend, on the weekends, opc.me/uk that's where you want to go. And then, of course, in October and come with us to Cambodia. Holy moly, we are insanity. Have you heard this, this schedule, and then he wanted to take me camping in here, guys. Brad Crowell 12:08  Oh, we're going. Lesley Logan 12:08  We're going camping, apparently. Brad Crowell 12:10  Yeah, we're going camping somewhere in there. Lesley Logan 12:11  Very expensive storage that we live in sometimes. So Cambodia. Brad Crowell 12:16  Oh, you mean our house?Lesley Logan 12:17  Yeah, I love it so much. But Cambodia is you'll have, you'll be at our house in Cambodia, and we do retreat, stuff and workshops and temple tours. Brad Crowell 12:28  Oh men, it's just gonna be amazing. Lesley Logan 12:30  So go to crowsnestretreats.com crowsnestretreats.com. The plural is on the crows and the retreats, but not the nest. So there you go. All right, before we got to get to Stephanie, but before we get there, Brad, do we have a question to answer?Brad Crowell 12:44  We do @creativesoulpilates on Instagram asked, hey LL, are you coming down to the IE anytime soon? IE is Inland Empire, which is Southern California. Basically, it's between Los Angeles and Riverside so, or I think actually, I think actually, Riverside is also considered IE.Lesley Logan 13:04  I think that Riverside is the IE, is it also, is Covina the IE? Brad Crowell 13:07  Covina and West Covina, I think they're south of L.A. I don't think they're technically IE. Lesley Logan 13:12  Like the Orange County. Brad Crowell 13:13  Closer to Orange County, I believe. Lesley Logan 13:14  Well, anyways. Brad Crowell 13:16  If I'm wrong, hit me. Let me know. Lesley Logan 13:20  If you all want to know L.A. well, go watch Everybody's in L.A. Just watch, at least the first episode. Brad Crowell 13:25  You know what, I'm 1,000% wrong. Covina is directly south of Glendora and Azusa, so it's where the 15 cuts down. Nope, it's not the 15. So it's towards Pomona. It's the beginning of IE, West Covina and Covina are like the beginning of the San Bernardino Valley, I think.Lesley Logan 13:46  Well, at any rate, to answer your question, we are not going to be anywhere near the IE, we are going to be in Toluca Lake. I guess that's not far from the IE, but it is. We are going to be, basically, we're in the valley of Los Angeles, close to Burbank. Right? Toluca Lake is like Burbank. Brad Crowell 14:01  Toluca Lake is Studio City, Burbank. It's between the two near Van Nuys, like, yeah. Lesley Logan 14:07  It's gonna be on our West Coast Pop Up Tour. Brad Crowell 14:09  I'm so excited. Lesley Logan 14:10  I know. Brad Crowell 14:11  I freaking love Los Angeles so much, and I cannot wait to just be back. Like, I literally used to live, like, two streets that were from where the studio is.Lesley Logan 14:20  Well, and also, for years, we're actually using the studio that we did the Accessories Flash Card photo shoot at. So I actually got to live in this part of L.A. for a week and now I can say I lived in that part of the valley. It's really, really fun. So we had Strong Body, but it's part of our summer tour. And so you got to come, because here's the deal. We, when we go to L.A. we typically go to hang out with friends, and we pretty much try to avoid working as much as possible, but because we're on tour. Brad Crowell 14:47  It's true. Lesley Logan 14:47  And we want an excuse to see L.A. again, we are making a stop as we're going by so go to opc.me/la for tickets to the L.A. event. Or if you go to opc.me/tour, you'll see San Diego, Santa Barbara. You know, because people who live in L.A. also live very far from the center of L.A., typically, so like Poway, as the San Diego city. So you know, there's some really good stuff. But thanks, you guys. You guys, we have a really easy place for you to send your questions in. You can text us at 310-905-5534, or you can actually submit your questions or a win at beitpod.com/questions. Brad Crowell 15:27  That's right beitpod.com/questions.Lesley Logan 15:28  Now you can just do it there, and it's so easy and you can be anonymous if you want to. You can whatever you want. Brad Crowell 15:36  Well, you know, so for the Friday episodes, we celebrate wins. And now, instead of people sending DMs, you know, fill out this form, it actually makes it easier for you, too. It's clear what it is, and we know what's going on, all the things. So beitpod beitpod.com/questionsLesley Logan 15:54  And you could put your win there too. I know, it's, which we didn't want to have two links. We just want to have one. So it's we could have called it quest wins.Brad Crowell 16:01  Quest wins. We could have, we could have really gone over well with trying to figure out how to spell that. Lesley Logan 16:07  All right. All right.Brad Crowell 16:08  Well, look, stick around, this, we're going to talk about slow living. This, this break will be fast, but the, but the conversation about Stephanie O'Dea is going to be really exciting. So we'll be right back. Brad Crowell 16:21  All right. Now, welcome back. Let's talk about Stephanie O'Dea. She's a writer, she's a coach, she's a teacher and a speaker who helps people embrace slow living. Lesley Logan 16:30  She's a teacher and a speaker. I like how that sounded. Brad Crowell 16:33  She's a teacher, teacher and a speaker. Her journeys began in 2008 on a viral blog where she used her Crock-Pot every single day for an entire year, landed her on national TV and got her a book deal, and that, she said, that journey lasted for about eight years before things really changed with the introduction of the Instant Pot. Fascinating. She said, when that, when that trend rose, she realized faster isn't always better. After stepping back to unplug, she discovered her true gift was helping others reach their goals in a slow, steady and sustainable way, a mission she now shares through her Slow Living podcast. Lesley Logan 17:13  I, so, so first of all, okay, I would just have to say, I was on her pod, and I was like, okay, like, this is great, you know, this is wonderful. And I really enjoyed her. I thought she was so sweet. And then she came on the pod, and, like, I was like, I'm in the presence of, like, a celebrity, like I and I was like, oh my God, she's, I'm sure, like your mom and your grandma and, like all these people, probably like, no, she is. And I'm sitting here going, oh my God, who are you? Oh God.Brad Crowell 17:48  Well, she, not only that, she is really fun. Lesley Logan 17:53  Oh yeah. Brad Crowell 17:53  And, like, snarky, and, you know, like the things that she was saying, she's got a lot of experience. You know, going through life. And I appreciated it, and I enjoyed it. And it was, it was, it was a really great conversation. In fact, I feel like it's probably a conversation, y'all, that you would want to save. So if you have not had a chance to go back and listen, I would recommend it. But. Lesley Logan 18:20  So slow living, you guys, stands for look only within. So, like, trusting your inner voice and intuition to find answers. And I really love that we talked about, like, slow living is meeting your goals. It meets all of them, but it just says it like, as you said in the bio, like in this nice, sustainable way, some of us are, like, really trying to make things happen fast. And this one book that I read every morning was like whenever we're trying to make things happen fast, but it usually means we want to skip ahead. And unfortunately, when you skip ahead, you miss out on like the muscle strength and experience you need for where you're going to go. So then when you get there, not only are you further along than you are strong enough to be, but now you don't have the skill set to handle the problems you have, and so that's why you don't get to skip ahead. So I really do believe it's sustainable to hit your goals in a way that is steady and allows you to evaluate and you and trust your gut intuition. And she said, she encouraged you to decide your next best step when you're in a good mood and not when you're feeling down. And I was like, that is so common sense and fucking brilliant.Brad Crowell 19:24  Yeah. No, that makes total sense. I mean, when we make decisions in a bad place, you know, we're making reactionary decisions. We're not making proactionary decisions. I just wanted to throw out there the 34% Rotten Tomatoes review on an Adam Sandler movie from 2006 called Click. Lesley Logan 19:44  There, okay. Brad Crowell 19:45  Which is exactly what you're just describing. It's all about how he somehow got a magic remote that fast forwarded through what, at the time, he was like all the bullshit so that he can get to what he wants to do in his life.Lesley Logan 20:00  Oh, but then, and then he got there and he missed everything. Brad Crowell 20:03  He missed everything. Lesley Logan 20:04  Yeah, yeah. I was in sixth grade, or fifth grade, when I read a story about a little boy who had this magic string, and he could just pull the string and it could, like, skip ahead. So like, he was, like, not ready for a test, so like, he pulled the string and he like, skipped ahead. Now he's in next grade. And then he, like, pulled the string a little bit more. And then he was in high school and, like, it's the same thing, I think, Click just came from the story of this little kid who pulled the string too much. At any rate, I, I wanted to say, like, going back to the good mood or bad mood. Sometimes when I'm in my email inbox, I start to get a little overwhelmed. Because, like, the only emails I have to respond to often require a little bit of research, of like, they're like, like, someone's asking me to do this event, and I already said I would do it, but I have given them rates before, and they like, want rates again, and they asked for my rates to be lowered, and I but, but they were like, oh, can we get your rates? And also, like, this is our first time so it would be great if you could lower your rates to help us support this event. And I was immediately pissed. I was so pissed off because I was like, what are you talking about? Like, what? And so I was like, and so, you know, I got this email. I'm really behind on my emails. I'm gonna you will have response from me by the end of this week. And I was like, because nothing good is going to come from what I want to say in this moment. And I just need to be able to get angry and feel my feelings, and also go, well, why am I in a bad mood now? Like, what happened? Well, it's not intentional. She personally did not intend to piss me off in any way, but it's the, this is, by the way, guys, this is like a constant, like, I'm asked is my inbox is mostly people asking me to do free things, or to negotiate the rates I say of things and so. Brad Crowell 21:50  Or to partner up, which means. Lesley Logan 21:52  Partner up, which means do it for free. Brad Crowell 21:53  Do it for free. Lesley Logan 21:54  And so, it's, so by the time I got to this email, I had already had gone through like seven people wanting to do things for free, and then this person wants to pay me, but not as much and I was like, I gotta walk away, because I have an appropriate response. I'm sure we can get to a place where it's gonna work for both of us. But I just was angry. And so, so it's always better if you're not in a good place to just like, give yourself a permission. And this goes to slow living, if, if my response to her at the end of the week means she can't work with me, then I don't. It wasn't for me, you know, like, like, slow living, like, I really love what Stephanie's talking about, because we used to live that fast pace. Do, do, do, do, do. We were in Australia, then Spain, then, then New York, then U.K. and it's like, and I don't actually want to do that anymore, and so, so I think it's like, really. Brad Crowell 22:47  We have tried to be more intentional. Before it was like, oh, you're willing to pay us, we'll be there, even if it's like, stupid, you know, for us to travel that way. Lesley Logan 22:56  Also, by the way, when you're new in an industry or new at a thing, I do think that you need to get your feet wet. I do think you need to, I want to make sure, like, I don't want any Pilates instructors like working for free, but I also sometimes you do, and so I think, like, I never flew anywhere for free, but I definitely wouldn't travel for the rates I used to travel on. However, I because I was willing to say yes to things and learn from those experience. I could keep changing my contract had I had my current situation set up now, well, one, I wouldn't know all the things I wouldn't have known all the things that drive me crazy when I travel, and it's like, no, I do need my own hotel room, and I actually do need pistachio milk for my coffee or something like, I know that, what I need, right? I sound like Mariah Carey. But, you know what? I know why Mariah Carey is now like that, because sometimes you don't have what you need, and then you perform at your best and you don't have it. So I wouldn't know all the things that really helped me be the person I am had I not gone through that stuff. So I don't think anyone should skip ahead. But also, at some point you have to go, okay, hold on. Do I need this, right? So anyways, I also just want to say share, to quote, discipline is just choosing between what you want now and what you want most, and just going back to like you saying like now we're more intentional. It's like, it can be really flattering to be asked to do certain things and so, but also, what do we want most? And so is it like, is that part of the most, or is that actually just flattering? And then, you know, so you all have to decide, like, when you're saying yes or doing things like, what is ahead? Is it on the journey what you want most? But I really liked her, her definition, her quote of discipline, because most people think it's like, means like. Brad Crowell 24:41  But she was full of them. Lesley Logan 24:42  She was so, I mean, there's so much stuff I have to go.Brad Crowell 24:45  She defined FOMO as Figure Only Myself Out. Figure Only Myself Out. So, meaning, stop the comparison game, where we're probably scrolling the gram and then beating ourselves up about it, right? And she said, she also said, it's not too late to start now, right? So you can, instead of FOMO, as in, you're missing, you know, you're not doing what they're doing on Instagram. FOMO is figuring only myself out. What do you want to do? You know? How are you going to get you know? What is your path? Where are you going? You know, and you can start to figure that stuff out today. She said, Start pivoting. It's time. Let's do this, right? She also emphasized, setbacks are normal. And she said something that I laughed about, because we are, one of the things that we say a lot in OPC is, if you only have five minutes, just do five moves, you know, like, don't, don't make a big thing out of not having time. And we just had somebody quit the other day, oh, I only was able to log into class once this week, you know, and I'm barely getting to it, right, and so they quit their entire membership, you know. And now I'm, like, thinking that I'm gonna email her back and say, hey, that's okay, you know, like, think about that, even if you came, you know, only five minutes in a week, would it be worth it to start now and be consistent with five minutes and then consistent with 10 minutes.Lesley Logan 26:26  And also, like, what are you going to do without it? You're going to somehow be better at doing your Pilates some, somewhere, somewhere else, no you're not. Brad Crowell 26:33  No, clearly you're not. Clearly, if they can't log in at home, they're obviously not going to a studio to do it, right? Lesley Logan 26:40  And also, some people actually only do it once a week, and that's fine. Like, I only log into Max HBO on Sundays for John Oliver. Like, you know what I mean? Like, and I don't go. So I think we have to stop putting so much pressure on ourselves that it has to be all or nothing. If that's how you're living your life, you're going to miss out on a lot of things.Brad Crowell 26:59  Yeah. And Stephanie said, you know, if you're doing a 30-day challenge, but it takes you 45 days. You did not fail. You still did the challenge. You did it on your time, and that's okay. Lesley Logan 27:12  That's FOMO, Figuring Only Myself Out. Brad Crowell 27:15  That's right, yeah. And she said, you'd be way more proud of yourself for going even if you have to take a day off, right? I was just thinking about the video you showed me last night about the one-legged. Lesley Logan 27:28  The Pope, yes. Brad Crowell 27:29  No, no, but that's funny. The one-legged athlete.Lesley Logan 27:33  Yes, the Nike girl. Brad Crowell 27:35  Yeah, who, the reason that she is now the Nike girl is because she entered herself into a competition. She, she has a, like, a bionic leg. I don't really know what all the right terms are there, but she's, she, she was trying to do a.Lesley Logan 27:54  Looks like a thrust, a clean.Brad Crowell 27:57  Yeah, she was trying to do a clean with a barbell, right, and. Lesley Logan 28:00  That's hard with two legs, I'm just gonna be really honest, and she has one leg that doesn't really bend like her other leg does, so, yeah. Brad Crowell 28:06  So she, so she, she's in the middle of a stadium with all these people, everyone's watching. There's, like, you know, all the things, and she's being filmed, and she doesn't know she's being filmed, and she, she fails. She fails. She like, gets it halfway up and just can't go and drops the bar. And she's frustrated with herself, she's like, okay. Lesley Logan 28:24  She's also starting to cry and really emotional. Brad Crowell 28:27  So she, she drops the bar. Well, she leans back over. She's like, all right, I got it. She, you literally can see her say shit, you know, on this video, right? And, and there's no audio to it, but she's like, shit. So she leans over, and she tries again and she fails again, and it's this point that she, like, totally breaks. Obviously, she's been frustrated all day long, and she breaks, and she literally starts crying, and she and it's super emotional, right? And she leans over and she like, puts her head on her arms, and she, you could see herself make the decision, I'm not going to quit here. I'm going to get this, through this even though I probably have disqualified myself already from whatever this competition is, because I didn't get it up on the first try, I didn't get it up on the second try, and she tries a third time, and she succeeds. And it is like this heartfelt, amazing experience. And I, I have to imagine that she is more proud of herself for finishing, completing it, for being just making the decision to stay with it, than she was, you know, than, obviously, she quit, she would, she'd be beating herself up. Lesley Logan 29:40  Well and I think first of all, I got chills and emotional just like thinking about it, because I like, every time I watch, I've watched it multiple times. And trust me, you guys, she's on a list of like, okay, I gotta email her publicist. I gotta get her on the pod. I have so many questions. But everyday, I talk to women who are beating themselves up for how little they've done, that they think they've done, which, by the way, is more than most people will do in a day, right? And it.Brad Crowell 30:08  Specially moms. Lesley Logan 30:08  Frustrates me, because none, never have you ever shamed yourself into doing the thing you said you were going to do. It doesn't work. That is not how our brains work. Our brains avoid shame and judgment. It doesn't feel good, it doesn't bring your dopamine up. It's not what motivates your brain to do shit. And so we have to do some FOMO, figuring out myself, figuring my own self out, and start congratulating ourselves we did fucking five minutes. You know, like, first of all, if you don't, no one else is. No one else is going to come up and congratulate you on things that they don't know have happened and they won't know have happened. That's why we do the FYFs. And it is, do you know how many people won't share their wins? I don't want to share, it's so small. Okay, but you do understand that that's going to inspire someone else. So, anyways, be nice to yourself. Get the FOMO.Brad Crowell 31:02  Be nice to yourself. Lesley Logan 31:03  The new FOMO. Brad Crowell 31:06  You know, I think that decision to stay with it, to be consistent, will, will be so much more gratifying over the long run, even if it's smaller increments than you know, whatever the prescribed amount is, or whatever that thing is, you know. So, that, I love this FOMO, I love this idea of figuring only myself out. It helps get rid of that comparison energy, you know, and create a safe space for you to succeed in, so, very cool. Very, very cool. All right, stick around. We'll be right back. We're gonna cover those Be It Action Items from Stephanie O'Dea. Brad Crowell 31:48  Okay, welcome back. Finally, let's talk about those Be It Action Items. What are the bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted action items can we take away from your convo with Stephanie O'Dea? She said, hey, funny enough, I'm gonna tell you to journal, but I'm gonna tell you how to journal in a very structured way. Lesley Logan 32:07  I, but I also, it's the only person I let journal, like, say journal, so.Brad Crowell 32:12  So it's funny because, I mean, I've heard Lesley say this about four, well, three, 250 times now, hey, if you're going to tell you know, use journaling as your, your Be It Action Item, you have to give us a structure how to do it. And she started laughing, and she said, I can do that. In fact, she has a free guided daily journaling worksheet that you can print out and you can write on if you go to stephanieodea.com/daily we will put that link in the show notes, but she's a big proponent it gives you structure. It tells you how to journal, what to journal about. It gives you prompts. But she also specifically mentioned that picking up a pen and paper, or pencil and paper, is different than typing on a computer. It just puts you in a different mindset. I mean, she's a writer, right? She got a book deal, she wrote a blog for eight years about cooking, right? She's like, constantly, constantly writing. And so she definitely would know she's the authority. She said that her tool will help you get in the right mindset. It gives you action steps, consistent, and consistency, it builds the muscle of slow, sustainable growth. And she said, your brain engages differently when writing by hand, which I think is interesting, and it helps you move towards your goals, even in off days. Lesley Logan 33:35  And also, your handwriting does not have to be good for it to actually still do the thing it does with your brain. I write things down which I like, which is why I like my reMarkable tablet. I actually don't even need to look at the tablet again. I remember it, but I. Brad Crowell 33:48  That's how I used to study for tests, hard copy my own notes. Lesley Logan 33:51  My nails are too long now, and it's, it's really annoying to type things. I'm like, I'm trying to learn how to type with the nails that.Brad Crowell 33:59  Hi, buddy. Are you trying to learn how to type, too?Lesley Logan 34:01  Yeah, Bayon's learning how to type. He's also truly found his voice this week. He's. Brad Crowell 34:05  It's pretty funny. Lesley Logan 34:06  He's like, oh, I'm gonna bark at this thing. And it's like, never did. Brad Crowell 34:12  Well, yeah. Lesley Logan 34:12  Anyway. Brad Crowell 34:13  His trip to Joshua Tree was a win. Well, you know what one thing that she said that I that I laughed about. She said, look, once you get into a routine, if something changes the routine, it's okay, because you, she said, you are not a spreadsheet. And I was like, oh, that's a really good idea.Lesley Logan 34:37  There's actually a whole study on, you know how, to go back to the long intro we had about politics, there's a study that shows like the more rigid your thinking is, the more likely you are to get stuck in beliefs that are not serving you. And so I'm a big habits coach, mindset coach, all those different things, but you'll notice that, like, I'm always going, giving grace. Giving lots of grace and kind of rolling with it. And I really love what she said here, because I have a morning routine and I have three hours, but, I don't have, oh, I have to be out the door at 6:01, otherwise it's, like, I just get outside. Brad Crowell 35:13  Facing the ice bowl, rub the banana peel, 6:11, take the elevator from 6:17.Lesley Logan 35:20  Yeah, yeah. Brad Crowell 35:21  So dumb. Lesley Logan 35:22  Right? I don't live like that. I do have and I post my schedule of the day with my outfit of the day. I'm like, here's my outfit and here's the schedule. And it might look rigid, but you have to understand, like, most of the things on there take 20 minutes, but I gave it the full hour so that I can be flexible. I can, I can roll with it. If I need to have a little bit more time with something, if I want to take a longer walk, I can. If I have longer Pilates, I take a shorter walk. And so by not being rigid, allows my habits and routines be very malleable and to serve me and what I need that day. And I think that's really important. We're not a spreadsheet. Okay, there's so many, you guys have to listen to the episode because I'm, she actually gave us so many Be It Action Items, to be honest. So I'm just gonna take a few. Celebrate your process, even if it's not linear. We actually have talked about that 17 times on this episode already today. So you celebrate your process, even if, it won't be linear, it is impossible. It never is, don't, you don't have to read the book. Go look at the cover of the book, called The Middle. The Messy Middle. It's bright yellow. When you see the graph, that graph of it going up down, up down, up down. It's like a heart rate monitor, and it's going up, but it's always going up, even though it might go down way lower than it did. And it goes up, Brad's looking at it right now, down, up, down. But like.Brad Crowell 36:34  It's not even a graph. It's like a squiggly line that goes in a square, in a circle and a triangle. Lesley Logan 36:38  Yeah, but if you take a bigger picture, it goes to the end. It's always going up. It's like the stock market. The stock market is not linear on the app, it goes up and down, up and down, up and down. But guess what? It always ends up. It's up, right? So hopefully, I don't know what it is today, guys. Anyways, she also said, use gold stars, stickers or a visible chart to track your small wins. Yes, it's a behavior from childhood, charts from childhood, but it's very important. You need to see it visibly. And then she said, choose non-food rewards, like a cozy nap or a pedicure or something like that. Like the things that you feel like are indulgent and you would never do, those should be your rewards. Make a list of them. That's what my therapist really had me do. And then she also reminded us, you can absolutely get to where you want to go, but you have to trust in yourself that you can do that and you'll get there when you get there. I'm Lesley Logan. Brad Crowell 37:29  And I'm Brad Crowell. Lesley Logan 37:29  Thank you so much for listening. What a longer recap we had today. We were very chatty, so we hope you enjoyed it. Send your questions and your wins in we want to celebrate them. And we want to answer your questions. So beitpod.com/questions and then make sure you share this episode with a friend, especially the Slow Living episode, because Stephanie has, obviously, so many great tips. She is amazing. And check out her journaling prompts. I know I am. Until next time, Be It Till You See It. Brad Crowell 37:53  Bye for now. Lesley Logan 37:55  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.Brad Crowell 38:37  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.Lesley Logan 38:42  It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.Brad Crowell 38:47  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.Lesley Logan 38:54  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.Brad Crowell 38:57  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.Brad Crowell 39:12  Now, welcome back. Welcome back. I hope you're loving life. Welcome back. Let's start that again.Lesley Logan 39:19  He's just waiting for me to smile.Brad Crowell 39:21  I was, I was, my, my mind did a little loop there. All right, welcome back.Transcribed by https://otter.aiSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

It Took Cupid's ArmyCan I woo the girl who knows my embarrassing childhood?Based on a post by Mac G. Listen to the podcast at Connected.Even though it is right in front of you, you don't always see what's good for you. Sometimes you need a little nudge. This is about a couple of mine.When I was five, Jenny's family moved in directly across the street from us. Our families became good friends right away. Due to the fact that there was nobody else our age living nearby (Jenny is three months older than I am), we soon became inseparable.She had no trouble keeping up with me in the rough and tumble things I wanted to do, and I had no problems playing house with her when she wanted. One of our parents always had to shoo us home at night because we would never think about it ourselves. I once tried to get my parents to let Jenny spend the night, but they said it was not right for girls to spend the night with boys.Although I missed it at the time, the first indication that Jenny and I would end up together came when we were fourteen. I was over at her house watching TV with her and her dad. As we sat there, the doorbell rang. Jenny got up to answer it. She came back a moment later followed by a policeman."Mr. Adams," he said, "I'm afraid I have some bad news."Jenny's dad got up to stand next to her. I stood a few feet behind them."I'm really sorry to say that there has been an accident. A drunk ran a red light and hit your wife's car," the policeman stated."What! When? Where? How is she?" Mr. Adams asked."The paramedics did their best, but I'm afraid she didn't make it. I am truly sorry."At this point, Jenny turned around and looked at me, tears pouring from her eyes. She ran to me, buried her head in my shoulder and sobbed. I guided her to the couch and sat her down. Holding her gently, I let her cry herself out, trying to soothe her as best as I could.After about fifteen minutes, Mr. Adams finished up with the policeman and came over to sit next to us. Jenny had calmed down a little and was just crying lightly. He took Jenny in his arms and held her. I got up and called my parents telling them what had happened. They both came right over.After a lot of consoling and grief, Dad left with Mr. Adams to tend to the body while Mom stayed with Jenny and I. Mom told me later how proud she was of me and for handling the situation and comforting Jenny so well. Years later, Mr. Adams said he'd kill me if I told Jenny, but that it hurt a little when Jenny turned to me, instead of him, for comfort upon hearing the news about her mom.The First NudgeI have always thought differently about Jenny than anyone else. Even during those awkward adolescent times all boys go through in which girls are gross and have cooties, I never felt that way about Jenny. It was like my mind thought, 'That's not a girl, that's Jenny'. The trouble was that as I grew into a teenager and began to notice girls, it was the same thing; I didn't realize just how beautiful Jenny was becoming.Ironically, it was on a date with someone else in the summer between our Junior and Senior years that her beauty was pointed out to me. We had been having a great time: Dinner, movie, and ice cream afterwards. It was close to time to take my date home."Anne, can I ask you a question?" I asked."Sure, what's up?""Well, when I asked you out, you seemed a little surprised. Pleased, but surprised. I got the same response from Sarah Jansen last month, and I was wondering if it was true you were surprised, and if so, why?"Anne smiled and hesitated a moment before answering."Yes, it's true I was a little surprised and I'm sure Sarah was as well. The reason is we keep expecting you two knuckleheads to wake up and see what a good thing you've got.""Knuckleheads? What two knuckleheads?" I asked."Okay, it looks like it's up to me to straighten you out, although I really shouldn't," she sighed. "I'm going to do this in a roundabout way. I'm going to ask you a bunch of questions. Some of them may seem silly, and some might be embarrassing, but I need you to trust me and answer them all honestly.""Okay, I'll try.""Good. Now first question: Do you think I'm pretty?""Of course I do. Most guys in school do.""Thank you," she said, blushing a little, "Now, I know all guys have different ideas about the ideal woman, but am I your ideal? Be honest.""No, you're not." I said a little chagrinned."Hey, don't worry about it. I asked for honesty. I'm somebody's ideal and I'll find them one day. Let's concentrate on your ideal woman. I'll say an attribute and you tell me what you like. You okay with this?""I guess.""Ok, height?""Your height, perhaps a little taller.""Hair?""Red, long and straight.""Longer than my shoulder length?" Anne asked."Yes.""Eyes?""Green.""Mouth?""Don't know. Never thought about that.""Not a problem. Now, don't get embarrassed, but look at my tits."I couldn't help it, I turned crimson, but I looked briefly. She had very nice tits."That's what I like about you, Tony; even with permission you don't ogle at a girl's chest. Most guys would be glued there right now. Ok, what would you change?""Nothing, I really like your tits," I said, turning even redder, if that were possible."Thanks, so do I. There's definitely something there to attract attention, but not too much. What about the butt? Do you like big butts?""Not really.""What about legs?""Long, with a good muscle structure.""Great. Now, here is what you just told me is your ideal woman; 5'9" or 5'10" tall, long, straight red hair, green eyes, an athletic build, long muscular legs leading up to a nice tight butt. Is that an accurate description?""Yes, that would be correct.""And you still don't see it do you?""I guess not. See what?""You just perfectly described Jenny Adams."I sat there for a moment. She was right of course, but I had never made the connection."Did you know that most guys think Jenny is the best looking girl in school? Many also think you are an idiot for not dating her. You've been best friends for so long you two cannot see it any other way. You should start looking at Jenny as the beautiful woman she is. With the great friendship you've already built, you two would make a perfect couple. Think about it, you dope," Anne ordered with a grin."I will, I promise," I said. "Now, I'd better get you home before your dad sends out the posse."I drove her home in silence. When I walked her to the door, I said, "Thanks a lot for telling me that, Anne. I guess it's true it's sometimes hard to see what is right in front of your nose.""You're welcome. I'm sure you two will be very happy together. Now, I don't usually do this on a first date, but as I'm pretty sure I've just ensured there won't be a second one, kiss me good night.""Gladly."I leaned forward and gave her a gentle kiss. She was having none of that. Throwing her arms around my neck she pulled me in for a nice, hard kiss. It seemed to last forever, breaking only when we ran out of air."Thanks, that's just what I wanted," she said smiling. "Now, go get her, Tiger!" With that, she turned and went inside.It's a good thing the route home was so familiar, as I was not paying too much attention to where I was going; I was thinking about Jenny. She was beautiful. She was also a great person. She was funny and fun to be around; kind to everyone; caring with genuine compassion; helpful whenever you needed her. She had so many wonderful qualities that it's hard to think of them all.Two days later, Jenny was over at my house watching TV. As the movie ended, she turned to me, saying, "Okay, Tony, what's up? You've been quiet all day and you've been giving me some funny looks."I hesitated before answering, unsure as to how to answer. I was really nervous about how this would go. I took a deep breath."Jenny, will you go out with me on Friday?" I asked her."Sure, we can get together and...""No, please, that's not what I mean. I don't want to just get together; I want to go on a date, a real date."She looked at me with her eyebrows raised. I could see the wonder in her eyes."Look, Jenny, I know we've been friends for a long time, you've always been my best friend, but lately I've been seeing you in a different light. I've always known you were pretty, but I'm starting to see just how beautiful you really are. I've always known you were a girl, but now I'm seeing you as a woman. We're friends but I'd like to see if maybe we could be more."She sat there, deep in thought. I waited for her to decide.After several minutes I added, "I know this is sudden. You don't have to answer now if you want to think about it for a while. Don't be afraid to say no. Nothing will change if you say no."She smiled at me and said, "I don't need to wait. Of course I'll go on a date with you. I just wasn't expecting it. What brought this about?""I'll tell you, I promise, but not right now. What time do you want to start?""Um, I'll let you know.""Fine. Want a Coke?""Sure."I went a got one for each of us. We watched some more TV, neither one of us talking much. When she left to go home, she paused at the door and gave me a long look, smiling slightly.The rest of the week seemed to last forever. Jenny must have said something to her dad, and he spoke to my parents, because on Wednesday evening Mom came into my room, announcing, "Let me know what you plan on wearing for your big date Friday, and I'll make sure it's clean and nicely pressed.""Okay, Mom, thanks. I'm not sure...wait, how did you know about Friday?""Moms just know," she said, grinning. "If there's anything else I can do for you, let me know."When Friday came, I had still not told her what I wanted to wear, having changed my mind several times. I went out in the afternoon to get a haircut. When I got back home, there was a brand new outfit laying on my bed waiting. It was perfect. As I was getting ready, my dad came in my room."Here, try some of this," he said, handing me a bottle of cologne. "It's a very popular scent.""Thanks, Dad.""Also, a good date needs a good ride. Take my car tonight."I was stunned. Dad rarely let's anyone drive his car. He had saved for years to afford it. "Are you sure?" I asked."Yes, I'm sure. I got it cleaned up nicely today and it's got a full tank of gas. Enjoy yourself.""Wow, thanks, Dad! You're awesome."When the time came, I walked across to her house and knocked. Mr. Adams answered."Come on in Tony, she'll be right down. Where are you going tonight?" he asked."I made a reservation at that new Italian place south of the mall. After that, we'll just see. Probably a movie later on," I answered.We heard the sound of Jenny coming down the stairs. I turned to see her and was stunned. She was wearing a light green sun dress that stopped just above her knees. Her legs looked great, tapering to a pair of strappy sandals with a 2½-inch heel. Her red hair cascaded down over the front of her shoulders, framing her face nicely. Jenny's eyes were sparkling and she was grinning from ear to ear.I walked up to her as she got to the bottom of the stairs."I've never seen you look more beautiful," I said.She blushed a little and said, "Thanks, you look great, too."We walked back to her dad."Have fun tonight you two," he said. "I've talked to your parents, Tony, and for tonight, and tonight only, there is no curfew for you two - just don't push it too far.""We won't, Mr. Adams, I promise," I said.We walked across the street to the car. Jenny's eyes got huge when she saw we were heading to Dad's car. We drove to the restaurant in an awkward silence. As we were waiting for the table, I reached out and took her hand in mine. I wasn't sure if it was a good idea, as I figured she could feel that my heart was beating about 200 times a minute. Jenny just smiled at me and squeezed it gently.Dinner went well. The talking started slow, but we loosened up some as things went on. By the end I think I had my heart down to about 150.

Rachel Reeves' spending review is out – what's in it and what do the panel think should have got more attention? Plus, Reform UK wants to bring the DOGE mentality to Britain. We explain why that's a terrible idea. Author of Failed State and the indispensable Comment is Freed substack Sam Freedman joins the panel. And in the Extra Bit for subscribers, as the Millennium Bridge turns 25, what has Britain built in the first quarter of the 21st century and what does it say about us? • Listen to the latest Why? With Emma Kennedy: What is scrolling doing to our brains? ESCAPE ROUTES • Sam Freedman has been bingeing on The Big Bang Theory on Channel4.com.  • Ros recommends Series 2 of The Gold on BBC iPlayer.  • Jonn recommends Microserfs by Douglas Coupland.  • Dorian recommends Platonic featuring Seth Rogan and Rose Byrne on Apple TV+.  www.patreon.com/ohgodwhatnow Presented by Dorian Lynskey with Ros Taylor and Jonn Elledge. Audio Production by Robin Leeburn. Video Production by Chris Jones. Music by Cornershop. Group Editor Andrew Harrison. Managing Editor Jacob Jarvis. OH GOD, WHAT NOW? is a Podmasters production. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode, "Thought of Awakening" 139, 145, 146 & 156 were contemplated.

Daz, still away, still manages to talk the talk as he, Jamie and Welshtechie discuss the latest news and look back at Cymru v Lichtenstein and Belgium v Cymru.

Our chief desire this morning before You is to be right with You. Oh make us right with You, great Father. There are some in Your presence who are not right with You at all; Your countenance they cannot behold, and You can not accept their offering; for it is true of them, as of Cain, "sin lies at the door." Oh God roll every sin away; but we know they must first feel the burden of it, they must come to You and confess it, they must accept the great Substitute and rest in Jesus.

The world is watching in horror as Los Angeles turns into a real-life immersive Rage Against The Machine song. Is the President looking for a Reichstag to set on fire as he threatens to use US troops on US citizens? Plus, the Battle of the Bastards! First, what does Trump's mega fallout with Musk tell us about the realities of far right politics… if anything? Then, what's behind Zia Yusuf's on-off resignation from Reform UK?  Escape Routes • Raf recommends Maybe I'm Amazed by John Harris.  • Alison recommends Scarface (1983) directed by Brian de Palma.  • Matt recommends Your Friends And Neighbours with John Hamm and The Studio with Seth Rogan on Apple TV+.  • Andrew recommends All Asimov And No Fresh Air by Half Man Half Biscuit.  www.patreon.com/ohgodwhatnow Presented by Andrew Harrison with Alison Phillips, Rafael Behr, and Matt Green. Audio Production by Robin Leeburn. Video Production by Chris Jones. Music by Cornershop. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. OH GOD, WHAT NOW? is a Podmasters production. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Feeling burnt out and drained in your business? Not sure what truly lights you up anymore? You're not alone, and more importantly — you don't have to stay stuck there.In this powerful follow-up episode, I'm diving deep into the practical strategies that will help you rediscover joy in your entrepreneurial journey. This isn't about toxic positivity or pretending everything is fine — it's about giving yourself permission to explore, create, and experience genuine fulfillment in the work you're building.After more than a decade of coaching women entrepreneurs, I've learned that joy isn't something you earn after you "make it." Joy is the fuel that gets you there. And if you're feeling like you're just going through the motions or chasing someone else's definition of success, this episode is your wake-up call.In this episode, you'll discover:Why giving yourself permission to explore new ideas (without implementing them all) can reignite your passionThe "one or two rule" for pursuing new opportunities without burning outHow to identify and eliminate the "shoulds" that are draining your energyMy personal story of recognizing I was the bottleneck in my own business — and how I fixed itThe question that reveals where your biggest frustrations hold the most potential for joyWhy delaying joy until you "achieve more" is keeping you stuckHow to build micro-doses of joy into your daily routine right nowTimestamps:00:00 Permission to explore new ideas without pressure01:00 The danger of chasing too many shiny objects at once02:00 Making space for joy-driven projects (even free ones!)03:00 Avoiding the "shoulds" that drain your energy05:00 Recognizing when others' agendas are influencing your choices06:00 Where are your bottlenecks? Journaling prompts for clarity10:00 The "Oh God, not this again" indicator for finding joy opportunities13:00 Building micro-doses of joy into your routine15:00 Finding people who are living joyfully (and learning from them)16:00 Building a Joyful Business book recommendationLinks mentionedBe sure to listen to Part 1 of this conversation before this epsiode: https://www.liannekim.com/blog/349Check out my book, Building a Joyful Business: https://www.liannekim.com/book‌Connect with me:Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/liannekimcoachInstagram: @liannekimcoachJoin the Mamas & Co. community to get access to valuable resources and the support of likeminded mompreneurs and mentors: https://www.mamasandco.comInstagram: @mamasandcoPodcasting support:https://theultimatecreative.com— Learn with me: Mamapreneur Success Path - Free Audio Training ‌Connect with me: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/liannekimcoach Instagram: @liannekimcoach Join the Mamas & Co. community to get access to valuable resources and the support of likeminded mompreneurs and mentors: https://www.mamasandco.com Instagram: @mamasandco Podcasting support: https://theultimatecreative.com

On today's show we speak with Lebanese-born, australian-based filmmaker Samia Mikhail about her poetry which responds to the barbarism of imperialism, while feeling the pain of the oppressed and the  murdered, and expressing the pain and rage of all that is left of humanity as we watch senseless wars created in the Global South by ruling classes of the Global North. How can one write any other poetry when people make money from killing others and stealing their fields? We don't beg emotions from those who don't have any. Oh God, how cruel people can be.Samia's poetry and writing can be found at the following Arabic publications: Ilaaf, Ana AlAaghar, Eihterafaat kinaah,Thakafaat, Kitabaat, Horraas alwatan, Kalimaat bawhh al-rouh, Rasa'el maa kahwat Alsabaah.

Special crossover edition... Well, Elon Musk is putting Washington behind him – or so he says… Molly Jong-Fast joined American Friction to talk Chris and Jarv through what's going on – and we thought you might want to listen too! Go get more American Friction and listen to the whole episode at: https://linktr.ee/americanfriction  Molly also has a new book out called How to Lose Your Mother: A Daughter's Memoir, and there's a link to buy it below.)  Buy How to Lose Your Mother: A Daughter's Memoir through our affiliate bookshop and you'll help fund American Friction by earning us a small commission for every sale. Bookshop.org's fees help support independent bookshops too.  www.patreon.com/ohgodwhatnow      Presented by Chris Jones and Jacob Jarvis. Producer: Chris Jones. Audio. Production by: Chris Jones. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. OH GOD, WHAT NOW? is a Podmasters production.   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Reform UK gets a lot of coverage but not enough scrutiny. Say Nigel Farage did become Prime Minister (God forbid), what would a Reform UK-led UK look like? Is their manifesto (… sorry, ‘contract') full to the brim of wishful thinking? Plus, with changes inbound on the two-child benefit cap and winter fuel payments is Labour sorting its act out? Or does this make Starmer look weak? Paul Nowak is the General Secretary of the Trades Union Congress and joins the podcast to give his thoughts. And in the Extra Bit for subscribers following the death of BBC arts titan Alan Yentob, we ask: Is the dream of culture for the masses still alive?  • Read Sam Freedman's Substack here: https://samf.substack.com/p/what-would-a-reform-government-be • Listen to The Bunker including Duncan Weldon on the economics of war. • Don't miss the latest edition of Crime Scene on the Liverpool parade car collision and what it means for policing. ESCAPE ROUTES • Paul recommends Bruce Springsteen live and Race Across The World on BBC iPlayer.  • Matt saw Mary Poppins at the Bradford Alhambra. • Rachel recommends listening to Magic At The Musicals on RadioPlayer.  • Dorian recommends Gang Of Three (keep an eye out in case in gets a transfer) and Electric Dreams at Tate Modern. www.patreon.com/ohgodwhatnow Presented by Dorian Lynskey with Rachel Cunliffe and Matt Green. Producer: Chris Jones. Audio Production by: Robin Leeburn. Music by Cornershop. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. OH GOD, WHAT NOW? is a Podmasters production. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Rebellious MPs, a nightmare spending review, the endless Two Child Benefit Cap row, dire polling… is Labour in for a summer of discontent? We ask whether the Government can bend with the wind to succeed, what policies will change, and whether Starmer/Reeves is a double act with two straight men? Plus: Have researchers found a new way to deal with digital disinformation? And in a special bonus, Jonn and Andrew discuss why the best political drama of the decade so far is the Star Wars spin-off Andor.  • Don't miss Oh God, What Now? Live at 21Soho on Weds 11 June.  • Listen to the new Crime Scene – the truth about true crime.  ESCAPE ROUTES • Ros recommends The Midwich Cuckoos by John Wyndham.  • Jonn recommends Paradise on Disney+. • Marie recommends Six Of Crows by Leigh Bardugo. • Andrew recommends Earthsea by Ursula K. Le Guin and Murderbot on Apple TV+.  • Back us on Patreon for ad-free listening, bonus materials and more.  Written and presented by Andrew Harrison with Marie le Conte, John Elledge and Ros Taylor. Audio production by Robin Leeburn. Theme music by Cornershop. Produced by Chris Jones. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison OH GOD, WHAT NOW? is a Podmasters production. www.podmasters.co.uk Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Opening: #523 Christ the Lord is Risen Today Psalm: #67 O God, let all the nations praise you (Kremer/Gelineau) Presentation: #588 I have Loved you Closing: #614 Joyful, Joyful, we adore you All music reproduced and streamed with permission from ONE LICENSE, license #A-723939. Organist: Shara Sikmars Celebrant: Father Sam and Deacon Frank Szemanski Today's readings (via USCCB): bible.usccb.org/daily-bible-reading For more information, visit our parish website at MaryQueenofPeacePGH.org.

The Tory press and pundits reacted as rationally as you'd expect to the new UK-EU deal, accusing Starmer of sneaking back into the EU, betraying the British taxpayer, and all their favourite themes. But exactly what are they saying and how much of it is legit? Plus, with the potential abolition of the Department for Culture, Media, and Sport, we ask why governments can't see the positives of culture? And in the Extra Bit for subscribers, it's 20 years since The Thick of It hit our screens. Politically, does it still hold up? Today's special guest is Emma Kennedy, writer and host of our sibling science and psychology podcast Why? – new series out now! • Get tickets for Oh God, What Now? Live at 21 Soho, London, with special guest Marcus Brigstocke. • Don't miss our fascinating new series Crime Scene. Latest episode: Who killed the Essex Boys? www.patreon.com/ohgodwhatnow Presented by Dorian Lynskey, Rafael Behr and Zoë Grünewald. Producer: Chris Jones. Audio. Production by Robin Leeburn. Music by Cornershop. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. OH GOD, WHAT NOW? is a Podmasters production. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The fish and the fury… As dead-end Brexiters rage against the “betrayal” of the Great British Haddock, we look at what REALLY matters in Starmer's EU reset. Plus, polling giant YouGov's Patrick English joins us to bust some opinion poll myths and explain the Reform Surge. And is Generation X really the most hard done-by of the postwar era? We don our Blur t-shirts and crack a Smirnoff Ice to discuss the 90s generation taking financial responsibility for their kids and their parents. • Join us for Oh God, What Now? Live in London with special guest Marcus Brigstocke on Weds 11 June.  • Listen to Crime Scene's interview with Tory Shadow Home Secretary Chris Philp.  ESCAPE ROUTES • Ros recommends Delizia: The Epic History of Italians and Their Food by John Dickie.  • Seth recommends The Radical Print by Esther Chadwick.  • Andrew recommends Andor on Disney+.  www.patreon.com/ohgodwhatnow Presented by Andrew Harrison with Ros Taylor and Seth Thévoz. Producer: Chris Jones. Audio production by Robin Leeburn. Music by Cornershop. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. OH GOD, WHAT NOW? is a Podmasters production. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Click here for the DRB Daily Sign Up form! TODAY'S SCRIPTURE: 1 Chron 25-27; 1 Thess 4 Click HERE to give! Get Free App Here! One Year Bible Podcast: Join Hunter and Heather Barnes on 'The Daily Radio Bible' for a daily 20-minute spiritual journey. Engage with scripture readings, heartfelt devotionals, and collective prayers that draw you into the heart of God's love. Embark on this year-long voyage through the Bible, and let each day's passage uplift and inspire you. TODAY'S EPISODE: Welcome to the Daily Radio Bible! In today's episode, host Hunter invites us to journey through day 135 of our year-long Bible reading adventure. We'll be exploring 1 Chronicles chapters 25 to 27, discovering the organization of temple musicians, gatekeepers, and King David's army officers. Then, we'll dive into 1 Thessalonians chapter 4, where Paul encourages believers to live holy, loving, and hope-filled lives—all centered on the profound promise of resurrection and Christ's glorious return. Hunter reflects on the Greek word “apantēsis” used by Paul, painting a powerful picture of believers joyfully meeting Jesus, much like welcoming an honored guest into a celebration. Through prayer and thoughtful meditation, this episode is designed to inspire your heart, reassure your faith, and remind you that you are dearly loved. So grab your Bible, settle in, and let's spend some meaningful time together in God's Word. TODAY'S DEVOTION: A sure and solid hope. Paul, in his letter to the Thessalonians, wants to fill the believers with hope—a hope anchored in the resurrection of Jesus. The central message of today's passage isn't about predicting timelines or worrying about being left behind. Instead, it's about comfort, encouragement, and the surety of belonging with Christ, both now and forevermore. Paul uses the word “apantēsis”—a term that paints a picture richer than mere meeting. It's the image of a people who go out to greet someone they've been longing for, and then, together, process with him into his place of honor, into the celebration, into the heart of the community. This isn't about escape, but about joyful welcome. Just as villagers would run out to greet guests, as Hunter shares from his own experiences in India, so there will come a day when the faithful who have died and those still living will join together in greeting Christ. There is no reversal, no turning away, only forward movement—together, with our King. Paul's words pastorally reassure the anxious hearts of his day—and ours. Grief isn't the last word. Neither confusion nor uncertainty nor death itself can swallow up the hope Christ has given us. The resurrection is God's great declaration that there are no forgotten ones. No one is left behind in his kingdom plan. Those that have gone before, and we who remain, will all share in the joy of Christ's return and his reign—on earth as it is in heaven. This hope is sure and solid. As Christ was raised, so too are we raised to new life in him—not only in the age to come, but even now, as we walk as his people. We have a King who leads us home, a King who makes us his own, a King whose coming fills all our waiting with joy. So today, let's encourage one another with these words. Let's rest in this deep, resurrection hope. Let's live as people who know they belong to Christ—and will process into his presence with gladness when that day comes. That's a prayer I have for my soul, for my family, for the whole church, and for you. May it be so. TODAY'S PRAYERS: Lord God Almighty and everlasting father you have brought us in safety to this new day preserve us with your Mighty power that we might not fall into sin or be overcome by adversity. And in all we do, direct us to the fulfilling of your purpose  through Jesus Christ Our Lord amen.   Oh God you have made of one blood all the peoples of the earth and sent your blessed son to preach peace to those who are far and those who are near. Grant that people everywhere may seek after you, and find you. Bring the nations into your fold, pour out your Spirit on all flesh, and hasten the coming of your kingdom through Jesus Christ our Lord, Amen.   And now Lord,  make me an instrument of your peace.  Where there is hatred let me sow love. Where there is injury, pardon.  Where there is doubt, faith. Where there is despair, hope.  Where there is darkness, light.  And where there is sadness,  Joy.  Oh Lord grant that I might not seek to be consoled as to console. To be understood as to understand, to be loved as to love.  For it is in the giving that we receive, in the pardoning that we are pardoned, it is in the dying that we are born unto eternal life.  Amen And now as our Lord has taught us we are bold to pray... Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name, thy kingdom come thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven, give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our tresspasses as we forgive those who trespass against us, and lead us not unto temptation, but deliver us from evil, for thine is the Kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen. OUR WEBSITE: www.dailyradiobible.com We are reading through the New Living Translation.   Leave us a voicemail HERE: https://www.speakpipe.com/dailyradiobible Subscribe to us at YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Dailyradiobible/featured OTHER PODCASTS: Listen with Apple Podcast DAILY BIBLE FOR KIDS DAILY PSALMS DAILY PROVERBS DAILY LECTIONARY DAILY CHRONOLOGICAL