Your Artificial Friends

Whuuuuuuuuuuut?  The fabled 250th episode?  Is it just an undigested bit-o-potato, or could this elusive piece of cosmic peppermint have finally become reality?  There really is a 250th episode, Virginia, and it's been shoved right into your stocking.  Please, enjoy this holiday gift from the four of us to you.

At last, the final curtain.  And man, does it ever sound like we're coasting across the finish line on fumes.  Pull up a chair and grab a drink -- nothing fancy... a well drink will do -- and join us for our final chewing of the fat.  Your calls, your emails, and Your Artificial Friends.  So long, y'all.  We'll keep having these chats... just not with you.  Happy New Year!

Holy kapowza, we're just one episode away from stickin' a cork in it.  And talk about a Christmas miracle:  Sam Farmer joins us for the episode today!  Find out the jurisdictions from which he's been running, and hear some of your final YAF Line calls at 626-657-6428.  Oh, and Happy Xmas, y'all!

There's no denying it -- the boys are clearly starting to get into the spirit of the holidays.  Listen as Josh and Larry open their special Christmas sweaters funded by a gift from listener David, and Andy enumerates all the toys that Children's Hospital will receive from the remaining funds.  Plus we get to your YAF Line calls at 626-657-6428, and your YAF Sack emails at YourArtificialFriends@gmail.com.  Just two more episodes after this, y'all!

It was a tough week, what with one of our kids contracting what sounds like a 19th century plague, and Larry and Josh's families getting booster shots.  But we are undeterred, once again bringing you a smorgasbord of titillating content.  From wild turkeys to shitty xmas movies, we run the gamut.  Plus your YAF Line calls at 626-657-6248 and YAF Sack emails at YourArtificialFriends@gmail.com.  Just a few more of these babies to go...

Well, YAF may be ending soon, but you're getting your money's worth on the way out -- over 74 minutes in this megasode!  The boys are a little grumpy starting out, but that changes when they review their viewing experience of a classic holiday feature involving river critters.  They also review your YAF Line phone calls at (626) 657-6428 and YAF Sack emails at YourArtificialFriends@gmail.com.  

It's our Thanksgiving Spectacular!  Josh is just this side of a Falling Down reaction to xmas overload.  The fellows are bowled over by the outpouring of lament and goodwill on your YAF calls at 626-657-6428.  We read your heartfelt emails to the YAF Sack at YourArtificialFriends@gmail.com.  And you find out just how horrible you are, depending on the NFL team you support.  Lend us your ear.

Do you know your nuts like you should?  We rank your nuts today, pal!  Plus, Josh spends good money on a cough button.  We also take your phone calls on the YAF Line at 626-657-6428 and your YAF Sack emails at YourArtificialFriends@gmail.com.  Oh, and we're ending the podcast.  Get it while you can, Jack.

The excitement is growing for the smoking of foodstuffs that is about to commence.  The boys also discuss the proper windows for justifiably celebrating certain holidays.  They take your YAF Line calls at (626) 657-6428, and read your YAF Sack emails at YourArtificialFriends@gmail.com.  Oh, and Josh retches.  Miss a moment at your peril. 

Talk about excitement, Josh is about to buy a new grill, and Andy is about to enter the fast-paced world of smoked vegetables, cheeses and mushroom-based protein loaves.  And for adrenaline junkies, we also take your YAF Line calls at 626-657-6428.  Strap in, lads and lassies, for Your Artificial Friends Episode #241.

It's our annual spook-tacular!  Happy Halloween, artificial friends.  We examine some ghoulishly good Halloween songs in this timely podcast, share some YAF Crap with each other, take your YAF Line calls at 626-657-6428, and scheme up crafty ways to catch a mouse in Larry's house.  It's almost enough fun to wake the dead.

We're taking a week off next week, so get your USRDA of YAF today!  We talk plumbing woes, Andy's first haircut of the year, and having surgery without anesthesia.  Plus your YAF Line calls at 626-657-6428 and YAF Sack emails at YourArtificialFriends@gmail.com.  See you in two weeks!

Andy shares his bittersweet theme park experience with the gang.  The boys discuss manscaping to a degree with which you'll probably be uncomfortable.  And we all share what Fall means to us musically.  Plus your great YAF Line calls at (626) 657-6428.  Crowd up!

Cancer free!  Andy shares the story of the moment he gets some good health news.  The guys probably offend at least one religious group.  And we're all surprised at the undeniable appeal of the Cat Daddy.  Plus lots of your YAF Line calls at 626-657-6428, and YAF Sack emails at YourArtificialFriends@gmail.com.  Thanks for stopping by!

After 32 years in the business, Andy finally discovers his ideal radio persona -- and you're witness to it.  The boys also discuss such important matters as coffee mug collections, icemaker shortcomings, lawn ornaments, and anatomically correct statues.  You'll be sad you missed it.  Your YAF Line calls at (626) 657-6428 and YAF Sack emails at YourArtificialFriends@gmail.com included!

Are you ready for some football?!  We are, as we podcast just minutes before kickoff of the first football Sunday of the 2021 season.  We chat about the gridiron, the correct pronunciation of "bucolic," and keeping up the proper maintenance of our vehicles.  Oh!  And Stepgate comes to a glorious conclusion.  Plus your YAF Line calls at 626-657-6428, and YAF Sack emails at YourArtificialFriends@gmail.com.  Let's chew the fat!

What a hoot!  We pick our favorite Saturday morning cartoon themes and share them with you today.  Plus, we get to your YAF Line calls at (626) 657-6428 and your YAF Sack emails at YourArtificialFriends@gmail.com.  This is an effing smile-fest from start to finish, so grin up!

If you're tuning in for the first time -- solely based on this episode's title -- boy, are you ever going to be disappointed.  Andy debriefs the gang on his late summer getaway.  Josh describes life as a school-age child's chauffeur.  And we get to some of your YAF Line calls at 626-657-6428.  Thanks for dropping in!

We're taking next week off, so grab it while you can.  And by "it," I mean the special brand of homespun talkery that only this crew can deliver.  This week, we discuss the satisfaction of "having a guy."  We give more attention to chewing gum than anybody since Burt Reynolds in 1979.  We spend way too much keeping pets alive.  And we get to your YAF Sack emails at YourArtificialFriends@gmail.com and YAF Line calls at (626) 657-6428.  

Like bumblebees shouldn't be able to fly, the sheer fact that this podcast episode was recorded is a true miracle of nature. Larry braves some entertaining technical difficulties. Josh watches too much ESPN4. Andy professes his love to Larry's pie. Plus your YAF Line calls at (626) 657-6428 [O AMOK PM HAT] and your YAF Sack emails at YourArtificialFriends@gmail.com.  

Josh has a life-changing experience in his father's bathroom.  Andy & Larry share their birthday exploits.  Motor oil bonfires.  Garlic balogna.  Plus your YAF Line calls at (626) 657-6428, and YAF Sack emails at YourArtificialFriends@gmail.com.  Good times!

Today, Andy & Larry exchange heartfelt birthday sentiments.  The boys discuss real (and fake) auto racing to their satisfaction.  Josh has more white trash cooking tips. We also get to your YAF Line calls and YAF Sack emails.  Climb inside, y'all!  And stick around 'til Josh gags. 

To my ear, fellas, it just needs more cowbell!  Today, we investigate the greatest cowbell songs of all time -- put on your dancing shoes.  We also pause to appreciate a well-organized toolbox.  Enjoy!  And include yourself in the next YAF podcast by leaving a voice message at (626) 657-6428, or sending us an email at YourArtificialFriends@gmail.com.  Operators are standing by.

Hear ye, hear ye!  The Food Court™ is now in session, the honorable Artificial Friends presiding.  Tune in and see what judgments are handed down.  Plus explosive foods and -- last but not least -- pie!  We also share your YAF Line™ calls and YAF Sack™ emails.  Join us.

Happy Birthday, America!  We share our fondest memories of 4ths gone by.  We also learn about the perils of eating in front of the TV, and Andy's plan for a DIY RV.  All that plus your YAF Line calls and YAF Sack emails in this omnibus episode!

How long have we been doing this?  And we just now get our first sponsor??  Well, they don't know they're our sponsor, but we're still happy to have them.  Plus, a new DIY project:  Fencegate is in progress.  Larry's feeling Mercury's poisoning these days.  And, we get to your YAF Line calls and YAF Sack emails.  If you listen to only one podcast today, make it Carolla's.  But, if you listen to 400-500 podcasts, slot this one in somewhere.  

Today:  Good guitar mechanics, peculiar radio engineers, burning sage for Mercury, and the pros and cons of bidets - we cover it all, friends.  Plus your YAF Line calls and YAF Sack mail.  For god's sake, Jim, don't miss it!

What great songs can you think of with a lyric or two that leave something to be desired?  We name names.  Plus, bonus shed talk, pet perplexions, and your YAF Line calls.  If you skip this podcast, you're a real so-and-so.  

That title alone oughta bring listeners in droves.  We discuss the surprising crispness of Old Milwaukee NA, the difference a quality plectrum can make, and the pain of losing a Batmobile.  All that, plus your YAF Line calls and YAF Sack emails.  Join us!

Hand dogs...  Hobo coffee...  Cousin Elvis...  Nobody covers these cutting edge topics like the YAF podcast does.  Also, the guys shower Andy with incredibly thoughtful gifts to help him through the rough times.  Dare you to listen with a dry eye.  Plus your YAF Line calls and YAF Sack emails.  What an extravaganza!  

What can we say?  We LOVE Mother's Day... so, here's your second Mother's Day episode this year -- and we don't rule out more.  This week, we salute Mom with music.  Not only that, we introduce you to motherly phrases like "hog jargon" and "scrohawk."  Plus your angry YAF Line calls and YAF Sack mail.  We're taking the real Mother's Day off, so breathe it in while you can.  

This Sunday is Mothers Day, so we spend more than a minute putting some propers on our mothers.  Andy plumps up on meat and chocolate.  Plus, we get to your YAF Line calls and YAF Sack mail.  It's a heartwarming episode, just like Mom used to make.

Who is the best Muppet of all time?  We name names.  Plus, we talk gardening, getting addicted to NA beer, smokeless tobacco, and our pruno recipe.  Don't miss a breathless moment!

Today, we help you with everything from suggestions for restaurants that require rain gear, to step-by-step instructions for making your own medical equipment at home.  And an egg salad recipe that will change your life.  Plus your YAF Line calls and YAF Sack emails.  Pile in!

Sam comes around with tales of professional sports and barbecued meats.  Josh corrects a fundamental error in the group's logic regarding grilling.  And Andy needs next week like he needs a hole in his chest.  Plus your YAF Line calls and YAF Sack emails.  

This is not a cancer podcast.  Okay, for 20 minutes today it is, but then it's not anymore.  Andy spills about his lymphoma diagnosis, but then we move on to more weighty discussions about underwear drawers and such.  Plus your YAF Line calls, and more.  Welcome back.

Lotta ground covered in this'n, kids.  Everybody's doing the CBD these days!  Josh got his new fridge!  Plus Slim Goodbody, Mac Tonight, Time for Timer and a bunch of other things you've purged from the corners of your mind.  We also take your YAF Line calls and check your email in the YAF Sack.  We're taking a week off next week, so wet your beak today!

Andy finds a way to connect one-on-one with his six-year-old daughter, and Josh and Larry put the bow on top.  The boys talk about their (now moot) expectations for The Big Game at the End of the Year.  And, for your Valentine's Day, the best -- and most ill-advised -- love choons of all time.  That, plus your YAF Line calls and YAF Sack inquiries.  Join us!

Us boys really yak it up this week with a supersize episode!  We take your YAF Line calls, read mail from the YAF Sack, and contemplate the matters of the day.  Andy recounts his colonoscopy experience, Josh accidentally asks about his gutters, and Larry gets his mouth washed out with a loaf of soap.  Pull up a chair, there.

Loafs of soap.  Pickle barrels.  Braunschweiger.  These are all topics that bring us delight.  Join us as we batten down the hatches for some biblical rain into our new, pristine gutters, and talk about some of our favorite guilty pleasure songs.  Your YAF Line calls, some YAF Sack mail, a little somethin' for errybody.

Monster trucks, Faygo soda, whiny dogs -- all of them are fun to talk about; but they pale in comparison to the fascination a fella can have for a transformative, mystical, perfect omelette.  Join us as we tiptoe through all of it, plus get to your YAF Line calls and YAF Sack emails.  It's podtastical!

Look, this podcast has always been the conversation going on at the corner bar; and, if you think we could get together and not talk about the events of this last week, you're nuts.  So, if you wear a Viking helmet and Camp Auschwitz t-shirt, you should skip the first half.  But then, you'd miss hearing about Josh's new fridge, Andy's gutter triumph, rain catchment barrels and all that sexy stuff!  Plus your YAF Line calls and YAF Sack emails.  Happy New Year, pal.

It's the final podcast of an unforgettable year.  Josh, Larry & Andy wax philosophical about the year that was 2020, and their hopes and dreams for the year that will be 2021.  We talk about the joy of cheese, the perfect frying pan, weighted blankets, and what you crave most of all:  a gutter update.  Plus your calls and emails.  Happy New Year, errybody!

Happy Crimble, everybody!  Oh, my, what a sleighfull of fun we have for you this Christmas Eve.  You'll hear our least favorite holiday songs ever, your YAF Line calls, and the real reason why no creature was stirring -- especially a mouse.  From our house to yours, a joyous holiday!

This week, we learn that ballet is beautiful, even if it's in a parking lot.  We determine the best and worst holiday TV specials.  And Andy finally learns how to pronounce "fascia" correctly.  Plus your YAF Line calls and YAF Sack letters.  Step on in!

Andy needs to get his mind out of the gutter... quite literally.  We talk roadtrips, holiday tool wishes, xmas tree hunting, and much, much more.  Plus your YAF Line calls and YAF Sack letters!  

You loved Shed Talk. You adored Gategate. Now, make way for Guttergate! Yes, it's pretty heady stuff, but we know you can handle it. We also take your YAF Line calls, talk exterior illumination, and compare our post-Thanksgiving bellies for cash. Thanks for joining us today!

Happy Thanksgiving, YAFfers!  How better to celebrate the special, solemn mood of this quiet holiday than... to announce our favorite TV theme songs of all time?!  That's what we do today, along with telling meandering stories, mumbling grievances and complaints, and laughing at our own navels.  Plus your YAF Line calls and more!  Dig in.  Gobble, gobble!

We learn today that Andy knows some things.  And that he doesn't know other things.  We talk civility and conspiracies.  We make Josh gag.  It's many of the things you love us for, and some you don't.  Plus we take your YAF Line calls, and Larry reads one of your YAF Bag letters.  Thanks for checking in with Your Artificial Friends!

It's the big wrap-upperoo of our 200th episode!  It's still October 31st, we have no idea what the next 12 days have in store for us, and we blather on like tipsy idiots in this continued beer-pisode.  You hear from all four YAFs, plus our enabler Aaron, and some of you folks on The YAF Line.  Join us as we address all the unanswered questions from last week's cliffhanger.  It's the two-hundred-iest!

Two hundred episodes!  And it'll feel like you've listened to all of them by the time you slog through this.  Enticed?  You should be!  No, actually, the boys celebrate the 200th YAF episode with lots of gusto, and a special surprise or two.  Join us for our bicentennial podcast, friends.  We thank you for you patronage.