A wide-ranging actual play tabletop RPG podcast from actual geeks with lots of experience points
After taking shelter and awaiting their next orders, Kroog, Flak, Lynane, and Bumper are tasked with disarming mines to clear the way for tanks as they proceed to Delta 9. Explosions occur. Later, the team meets a suspicious man claiming to have disturbing news about the emperor.
The soldiers make their way towards Delta 5 and have gory encounters with heretics and mines. With the bunker now in sight, it's up to one brave fireteam member to make a daring, selfless act for the glory of the Imperium.
In the 41st millennium, a group of criminals conscripted into the Penal Brigade of the Gilead Gravediggers are sent on a perilous mission to assault a dam. Nobody in the Imperium would be surprised if they are blown to smithereens right out of the gate, but Fireteam Bravo has other plans, and God-Emperor willing, they might just live to see another dark day.
After entering the Empty City, the party sets its sights on Percy Butterworth's tower and is accosted by mutated Degenerates. Inside the tower, they are forced to answer a series of riddles but, at last, get their hands on the tantalizing treasure they've journeyed so far to find. Holding on to it, however, requires a battle bigger and riskier than ever before.
The team traverses the Collapsing Mire, encountering absurd abominations, and stumbles (literally) onto a shortcut to the Acid Wastes. After battling even more bizarre beasts, they arrive at Plankton Downs, where they're told that Percy Butterworth's treasure lies in an abandoned alien city further to the south.
The adventurers exit the Slow Sledge and are informed that all of the stilt lopers, which would take them the rest of the way to Plankton Downs, have been reserved. The Loper Lord agrees to provide one if the tyrannical overseer of the nearby Xenolithium Mine, whose batteries charge the lopers, were to have an unfortunate accident. The party seeks a more diplomatic path, but the situation inevitably turns violent.
While traveling on the Slow Sledge to Plankton Downs, the team visits the bar, crowded with colorful characters such as ice miners and nuns from the Martian Orthodox Church, when they inadvertently stumble upon the scene of a murder. Wasting no time, they attempt to suss out the killer before more victims are claimed.
Lump, Clancy, and Sylix make their way underground in search of the Slow Sledge to Plankton Downs, clashing with a resident known as the Fair Evolutionist, who takes a personal disliking to one of the party members. Soon after, they meet a group known as the Toil Pilgrims and are taken to the Plaza of Pondering, where the sledge terminus is located. After purchasing some refreshments, the party once again finds themselves in a fight – this time with the Repurposed Augmented Thugs Guild.
Within the metropolitan city of Bastion, three citizens, heavily in debt to Associated Reanimators, are staying at a transient hostel in the Killduck Borough when the collectors come calling. No peaceful resolution is found. Afterwards, the debtors are sent by the nun Sister Seven to meet with an elderly woman named Ladya Hope, who hires them to retrieve the treasure of the deceased famous explorer Percy Butterworth in Plankton Downs. The team starts off right away, headed to an underground electric conveyance, intent on beating their competition, cryptohistorian Ronin Friendly.
After being confronted by security guards, the team acts swiftly, and a major surprise is revealed. With the portable computer now in their possession, they retreat to a safe location while Khiry extracts some very interesting data. Back at the Aphrodite, the thieves head up to the low orbit docks, where more surprises collide, resulting in a chaotic conclusion that doesn't work out so well for everyone involved.
The criminal masterminds continue to plot their audacious heist, and Laz manages to set up a rendezvous at a hotel later that evening. In the meantime, they scout out the casino and weigh their options. After they raid a hotel supply closet, Skip is met with an unexpected shock at room #1208.
Under the surface of Venus, three ambitious Earthlings conspire at Miixxiie's Milk Bar and Buffet to accomplish an unthinkable undertaking – robbing the exclusive Aphrodite casino, which orbits above the thick, Venusian clouds. As the would-be heisters get to know each other, a new character and unexpected intel enter the picture. Exciting possibilities begin to emerge.
With treasure in tow, Duddley “Raw Dawg” Gruff, Cosmo Moonfoot, and Emmaleth Starstorm begin their trek back to the Keep on the Borderlands. It's no walk in the park, however, as the party is pursued by blood-thirsty orcs from the Caves of Chaos. A final surprise greets the heroes near the entrance to the keep.
Another battle with hobgoblins ensues, and later, the rescued merchant's fate is settled. Finally, the party reaches the culmination of their efforts, and a make-or-break test of valor lies before them. Feelings are shared, and blood is shed.
Entering a secret door, the adventurers run afoul of goblins, and later, find themselves battling their larger hobgoblin cousins. After freeing a prisoner, their attention is drawn to the blare of an echoing battle horn.
The party's encounter with a strange old hermit leaves them battered and bruised, but with some scroll casting and a day of rest, they reach the Caves of Chaos fully invigorated. After settling on an entrance, they finally get their first taste of the caves' risks – as well as their rewards.
After spending the day journeying through the wilderness, the adventurers make a camp at twilight and fend off foes from above. Later on, a nearby camp is spotted, and a devious plot is obstructed. Afterwards, the party meets an unexpected guest.
An Elf, a Fighter, and a Halfing converge at the Keep on the Borderlands, banding together over their mutual thirst for fortune and glory. In a tavern, they hear rumors of the Caves of Chaos, where riches may await those daring enough to confront the monsters that dwell within. It is those distant caverns that the adventurers set off to discover the next morning.
Dobrogost, Barbi, and Zel flee from the Hooded Men and come upon a strange camper in the forest. When their friendly encounter turns hostile, the travelers continue on their way to the abandoned sawmill. Soon enough, they meet the undertaker brothers Zoltan and Zaus, learning their terrible secret.
After an interrogation, the team discover that the grave robbers were hired by two brothers who inherited an abandoned sawmill somewhere within Öreg Erdő. Heading deeper into the forest, they help a defenseless creature as well as harm others not so defenseless.
1520s Hungary: A Foundling, Half Witch, and Bonekeeper navigate through a dark, old-growth forest known as Öreg Erdő. Arriving in the small village of Szomorú, they learn of several recently deceased women gone missing from their graves. That night, the travelers decide to investigate the graveyard for themselves.
One dark and stormy Halloween night in the 1980s, tweenagers Plunger, Dickey, Chip, and their new friend Ceecee begin a tabletop RPG of eldritch horror, their shipwrecked characters investigating a mysterious island lighthouse. But just as they're finishing up their game, the kids are suddenly confronted with real-life horror and must find a way to channel the courage of their characters or risk a true Total Party Kill.
Davey Crocket, Jim Bowie, and Plain Ol' Joe – accompanied by Porter Rockwell – spend some time befriending and mounting horned herbivores, then set off to collect all the canons. Exploring the last mesa, the group is beset by winged creatures from above. When, at last, the group has gotten what they came for, Old Koot'naheen is summoned with a blow from their whistle. Unfortunately, Ol' Kooter is not the only one drawn by the sound. Can the temporally-transposed team win their last battle in the Valley of the Poh? If so, the historic Siege of the Alamo still awaits them. What effect will its outcome have on the future? Only time will tell.
A savage, touch-and-go struggle erupts, and a potential ally joins the fray. Later, the team, searching for a second canon, ventures into the cave seen in Jim's vision and discovers a scene of carnage.
Following an injurious fight, the Texans heal up and head back to the canon they'd found, fixing the wheel and even finding a wayward horse to haul it. On the way to another mesa, they stumble upon another tree they'd been searching for and, soon after, find themselves facing imminent death.
The Texan trio battle a monster as they attempt to cross a lake, then crack open nuts from some purple-leaf trees. Inside the nearby ruins, they find evidence of recent human habitation, along with tools and a vision-producing pool of water.
After passing through a luminescent barrier, Davey, Jim, and Plain ‘Ol Joe explore the foreign landscape before them, eventually witnessing a unit of Mexican soldiers attempting to mount bizarre beasts. Later, the Texans have a frightening clash with another beast and, afterwards, set their sights on stone ruins beyond a lake in the distance.
During the Siege of the Alamo, legendary folk heroes Davey Crockett and James Bowie, along with an odd man called Plain ‘Ol Joe, are sent to intercept supplies en route to Santa Anna's troops. After a gun battle, the Texans learn of a mysterious valley nearby where Mexican soldiers were massacred and where there might be large guns they can reclaim.
Yeshua “Hammer of God” Dandy enters the dodecagon, fighting his way through the underground tournament known as the Kumite, and is ultimately victorious. With the churning staff now in their possession, the Musterites head back to Musterton but face another menacing threat along the way. Back inside the compound, recalling a cryptic clue they'd gathered earlier, the heroes use the staff in a faithful effort to free their people from the clutches of the Pale Riders.
After speaking with Ira's wife at the Cibola Sunrise apartments, the Musterites are directed to The Gold Mine, a nearby casino in West Wells. There, they learn of an illegal tournament taking place underneath the casino and manage to infiltrate their way inside.
Overcoming more obstacles within the abandoned gold mine, Yeshua, Moroni, and Cessily finally reach the town of West Wells, where they seek directions to the Cibola Sunrise apartment complex. After an unavoidable scuffle with some local degenerates outside of a gas station, the Musterites obtain a vehicle and head off to find Ira Troyer.
In the 1980s, a religious compound in Nevada is invaded by violent outsiders and the inhabitants held hostage. Three exceptional residents, however, trained in an ancient and obscure martial art, manage to escape through a secret exit and embark on a holy quest to find a powerful relic that will save their beloved home.
Arctus Suteki, Zolar Garbanzo, and Illyria Shadowstalker party down on the rooftop of the Blancmange & Thistle hotel until an unwelcome guest drops in and a random spell sends everyone scattering. Back inside the building, the trio are forced to fight enemies they thought they'd seen the last of, and an error operating the elevator transports them to a strange and unfamiliar place.
As the partygoers continue to make their way to the hotel rooftop, they have interesting run-ins with a crazy tiger lady, a slug monarch, and a mysterious, armor-clad friend. After popping into their room on the sixth floor, the guests finally arrive at the Feast of the Chiliarch, and the party's just getting started.
Three travelers of the crystal spheres arrive in the eccentric city of Troika, looking for accommodations. They meet in the lavish hotel lobby of The Blancmange & Thistle, where they are informed that, due to the annual Feast of the Chiliarch being held on the rooftop, there is only one room left on the sixth floor. The travelers decide to share the room and attend the party. Getting there, however, proves to be more of a chore than anyone expected.
Flung into another dimension, Farin Bachknife-Origiabi, Nicholas Corso, and Marm Goodwill find themselves in Cape City, a technopolis of skyscrapers and cars in stark contrast to their own magical realm of castles and airships. Fending off police and superpowered vigilantes, the party searches for a way back to Gonen's World.
Following the shock of finding an empty sarcophagus in Alexander's lost tomb, the Top Men have an ultimate showdown with Belgian archaeologist Jan Donvil and his thugs. An even bigger shock occurs after the fight ends, when the team realizes there's someone else with them they hadn't accounted for. After a mad dash across the Nitrian Desert, Black Cavendish, Agent 13, and Mr. Smith complete their mission.
Pursued by police in Alexandria, the Top Men escape into underground Roman chambers, only to face off with armed tomb robbers. At the harbor, the team meets with a Greek named Athanasios who provides them with scuba gear. After a bloody shark encounter, the divers reach a tunnel leading to a water-free room where a certain sarcophagus lies waiting to reveal its secrets.
The Top Men are intensely questioned after landing their stolen Soviet helicopter at a US airbase in West Germany, but are ultimately allowed to leave. Afterwards, the team boards a Greek steamer bound for Alexandria, but the ship is attacked in the night, and a furious gun battle erupts. In Egypt, Stew calls upon an old contact from his days at Yale.
On their way into Germany, the Top Men confront suspected spies aboard their train, but things don't go as smoothly as planned, and they are rescued from the Stasi's scrutiny by an unlikely passenger. Once in the town of Ludwigsfelde, the team plans and executes an infiltration into the castle of Baron von Papen, attempting to retrieve Alexander the Great's breastplate.
After sneaking into the Basilica Cistern at night, the Top Men navigate the dimly lit underground chamber looking for the X that marks the spot on their map. Discovering a hidden room, they uncover their next clue, directing them towards the German consulate where important records are kept.
In the 1950s, a shadowy unit of the US Government called the Top Men sends three of its agents on a quest to find the lost tomb of Alexander the Great. In competition with the Soviets, the team begins their mission in Istanbul where they are slated to meet a contact with intel on Alexander's breastplate.
Bing, Bart, and River are surprised when the three non-human entities they met in the darkened woods agree to answer their questions. However, there is a substantial catch. After their encounter, they head back to Fairbanks, satisfied they've achieved their goals. But before Bing and Bart leave Alaska, the whole team decides to drop in on their acquaintance Jarvis Easley.
Having encountered a hostile Bigfoot while investigating the crashed pyramid UFO and its badly burnt occupants, the team tries to deescalate a dangerous situation. Following that, they land in the tiny village of Anaktuvuk Pass where the next day, they travel to the sight of the newly formed mound that River had spotted before.
After meeting a suspicious man in the airport hangar, Bing, Bart, and River take to the skies, headed towards a mysterious mound. Along the way, their attention is diverted to a column of smoke coming from the ground below, and the team lands for a closer inspection.
Self-proclaimed cryptozoologist Bart Garfinkle and gonzo journalist Bing Kingsley team up once again to investigate Bigfoot and other mysteries in the Alaska Triangle. After arriving at a log cabin in Fairbanks, they get a visit from a vaguely familiar local man who mentions strange lights in the sky. Afterwards, they meet up with bush pilot River Sloane with plans of flying to any destination of interest.
The sky whalers clash with a Saturnian Shiftbeast aboard the Lodestone, leading to an alarming outcome for one. Later, as the Jovians attempt to haul their prize back to Port Hallwark, they are confronted by Captain Michel in his ship the Calypso. A knock-down-drag-out battle inevitably follows.
As Xavier Barbeau hangs suspended in Jupiter's deep atmosphere hunting the legendary Blubberalla, Philbert Edward Glass and Dr. Anias Ambercrom are attacked by kite creatures onboard the HMS Jover. Afterwards, as they continue their journey, Philbert's compass starts to spin wildly, and they spot what must be the Lodestone, drifting in the clouds. However, after boarding the alien ship, the sky whalers quickly discover they are not alone.
On the floating Jovian city of Port Hallwark, three sky whalers are on their way to an appointment when they are ambushed by Saturnian thugs. After a chaotic brawl, Lord Dol De Venus, their sometime employer, offers them a contract to find and retrieve a strange ship that may contain great treasure. Unfortunately, the unsavory Captain Michel also has his sights set on the ship.
Following the defeat of Lesdy's entourage, the party eventually tracks her to a familiar room, where they are forced to make a tough decision. Their options are clear: take the easy way out by killing Lesdy or join her in a seemingly suicidal battle against Fletcher and the gutworm.
Emerging from a pit of rotblack, the ferocious gutworm attacks, forcing the outmatched party to reluctantly retreat and discover alternative passageways within the Accursed Den. Eventually, they find themselves in an impossible greenhouse where they are introduced to Lesdy and her zealous followers.