Podcasts about valkyries

I sat down with Andrew Jefford (wine writer & columnist) and Aigards Nords (organizer of @RigaWineChampagne ) to discuss one of wine's great rivalries: Bordeaux vs. Burgundy. We talk why these regions are so often compared, what really separates them in the glass, and how ideas like terroir vs. estate shape the way we talk about them. We also look at the bigger forces behind the bottles - pricing and value, shifting consumer demand vs. wine-list trends and what might be next for both regions.Be sure to check out Andrew Jefford's latest book

Quaranteam - Dave In Dallas: Part 1 Surviving a horrible plague has unusual conditions. Based on a post by RonanJWilkerson, in 12 parts. Listen to the Podcast at Explicit Novels. Forward: This story occurs within the Quaranteam universe created by CorruptingPower. If you have not red the original, or any of the other spinoffs, they are highly recommended. That is not required to understand this story, they're just good, and a lot of fun. This fictional drama coincides with the timing of the 2nd wave outbreak of the Covid 19 pandemic. The modified cold virus escaped from a Chinese laboratory and directly killed more than 7 million people, but is suspected of indirectly causing the early deaths of over 20 million, in about 24 months. The DuoHalo virus that this series of novels pertains to, is far more deadly, and can only be combatted with a gene therapy injection, but it wears off in just days, unless followed up by human hormones, and only through a continual booster through both male and female genital fluids. Only the female body is capable of enduring the inoculation gene therapy dose, but she still needs the catalyst of male genital fluids, which then activates both physical and psychological mutations. Her libido goes into hyper drive. The corresponding male partner also absorbs the hormone-based anti-viral, by absorbing the woman's rich antiviral genital fluids. The world order undergoes a fundamental rest, and the fight for survival of the species becomes dependent on heterosexual mating ‘bareback', with women devoting themselves to monogamy, while men retain a capacity to be the catalyst for however many females their stamina allows. The most notable psychological mystery is the absence of female jealousy and possessiveness. Cohabitation is an essential accommodation to make the treatment work. Chapter 1. September 18, 2020. Dave Belsus sat on the floor of his hallway texturing the wall over the patch he'd installed a few days earlier. It had taken a sizable piece of sheetrock (from a layman's perspective) to repair the big gaping hole in his wall. There wasn't really a right or wrong pattern to the texturing and Dave was simultaneously restless and reluctant to move on to a different task. He finally stood, gathered his tools and materials, and hauled them down to the garage. There are still things to do. There are people depending on him. He went out to his greenhouse and stopped, closed his eyes and smelled the green. Let it soak into him. He needed to feel life around him. He just stood there for; he wasn't sure how long. Not long enough. He still felt dead inside. But he had work to do. David started harvesting some veggies to exchange with his neighbor, Lupie. Inspecting the cucumber plants, he could see two large ones were ready. He'd keep one for his own salads and send the other next door. Becca, Lupie's houseguest (once babysitter) had developed a taste for them after Dave offered one a few months ago. Several beefy tomatoes were ready, so he plucked them, keeping a few for himself. Maybe a tomato sandwich tonight or tomorrow. That'd be nice. Three heads of redleaf lettuce (he'd staggered his lettuce so a few heads were harvestable every week) were next, again, one for Dave, two for next door. Finally, a handful of strawberries were perfectly ripe. He'd let Lupie and the girls have all of those. Esme, Lupie's daughter loved strawberries. Well, who didn't? Cute little girl. Always gave Dave fierce, friendly hugs. Dave missed the farmer's markets on the weekends where he could trade or buy/sell for other varieties and veggies he didn't have space or time for. Well, now he had all sorts of time, but he still didn't have the space. Dave brought the harvested veggies into the house and sorted the veggies. Stuff for him went on the counter basket. Items for Lupie, Becca and Esme went back in the basket he'd carried into the greenhouse. Dave grabbed the basket and walked over to what had been a parlor just off his entryway. Now it was a decon area. Dave added a plasticized suit over the clothes he'd been wearing. Mid-September was still toasty in Texas, but fortunately not as bad as late August. That had been brutal. Hot enough Dave had thought about adding a water bottle with a straw to the inside of the suit. He hadn't come up with a way to attach it without breaching the suit's integrity, so he nixed the idea. He doubled down on pre-hydrating when it was absolutely necessary to go out in the damn thing. Dave gathered up the basket in the clumsy gloves. He'd gotten fairly good at manipulating medium size items while wearing the gloves. The gloves were disposable dish gloves, tucked into the suit and duct taped to it for a seal. He opened his door and crossed the lawns over to Lupie's porch. He carefully transferred the veggies over to Lupie's porch pickup box, then gathered the dozen eggs she'd left him. Lupie had several hens in a large coop in her back yard. Dave had helped her install some anti-predator devices to the top of her fence and around the coop in the before times. Being that close to Lupie was a fond memory. Nothing romantic between them, just very comfortable. And it had paid off well too. He got a dozen eggs twice a week, and sometimes a whole chicken, plucked and dressed. Sometimes even separated into parts. If he was really lucky, after bringing her some good meat, he'd get homemade tamales. Lupie was a great cook. Her cooking wasn't the only thing Dave appreciated about Lupie. Absolutely lovely inside and out. She wasn't beauty pageant pretty, she was normal girl pretty. What a lovely face to wake up to. A face that'd make a man want to come home. Nice figure too. She never wore anything too showy, but she wasn't one for baggy stuff either. Sure, she's in her early thirties and has a real job and a kid to keep track of, so she most certainly wouldn't have a washboard tummy under her shirts. Or dresses. God, Lupie looks fantastic in a dress. The way they billow around her calves always caught Dave's eye. And that hair. Long, lovely, raven black hair. Hopping back onto his own porch, Dave put the basket down and flipped on the UV lights he'd installed in the porch awning. Step one in his decontamination process. Arms straight out from his shoulders, he turned slowly. One full circle palms down, another palms up. He flipped off the light, opened the door and grabbed the basket. Inside, he stripped off the outer suit, hanging it on hooks in the entryway, set the basket in the kitchen, then went straight to the upstairs shower, the one near the unused bedrooms. Excessive? Possibly. But Dave wasn't going to be another statistic. Viruses don't negotiate. Dave didn't either. That's what Lysol was for. Not that the average person could get much of that anymore. Still, if you weed out the essential oils nuts, there were some good recipes for home sanitizers online. You just had to pay attention to the recommended duration. Some were stronger than others and didn't need to be left on a surface as long. After toweling off and tossing the towel in the hamper, Dave went to the master bedroom to put on fresh clothes. Then he went back down to wash the lettuce and cucumber and started making a small salad. Dave didn't like eating right before exertion, but he hadn't eaten in a day and a half. He need to workout the anger surging through him too. So he compromised - a small salad, then beat the crap out of imaginary opponents. Lettuce base, quartered tomato, quartered boiled egg, diced cucumber, and balsamic vinaigrette. Tasty enough that he'd finish it. Small enough he wouldn't blow chunks while he's exercising. Kitchen cleanup gave the food a little time to settle. Dave walked across the house to get his staff from the gym, then went back to the sliding glass door separating the living room from the backyard. He walked to the large flat platform in the middle of the yard, stretching his arms as he went. He stretched his legs when he got there. Then he took a several minutes with warm up motions. He ran through each of the basic strikes and defenses in a pattern he practiced at least three times a week. He repeated the sequence five times. Then he launched into a series of combination motions. Half-staff upper hand strike on the right, followed by the left. A horizontal block leading into a full staff strike starting from the lower left into the upper right. On and on. Each pattern repeated. Each repetition faster. Turning. Striking. Blocking. Faster. Dave's face, initially a blank mask, grew pained, then angry. Anger flowed into rage. In his rage, Dave lost track of his position on the platform. He unknowingly stepped off the platform. It was only two or three inches high, but that was enough. He caught his fall with his staff and avoided an unceremonious face plant. Still, the interruption pulled him out of the mental space he'd been in. His breathing was ragged. Sweat soaked his clothes, dripped from every part of his body. The air was no longer flinty, but it was still too hot for heavy, continuous exertion. He felt a small wave of nausea roll through his belly. Time to pack it in. He cleaned off the end of the staff he'd use to stop his fall, then walked inside, stowed the staff back in the gym, and went up to the master suite shower stall. The shower refreshed Dave's body. Time to give his mind something to do. Eastfield College had only partially re-opened, just a few online classes. He had one section of astronomy to teach for the folks that wanted something more exciting than physical science for their science core requirement. No one was taking chemistry or physics this semester. The chemistry instructor was still alive. She'd laid down the law in her house and they had taken lockdown seriously. They just didn't have a good substitute for teaching the lab part of the class yet. The full-time physics guy had inexplicably taken the same attitude as too many in the county. He died before the spring semester ended. The guy had a doctorate in physics, twelve published papers to his name and spent twenty years living in scientific circles. You'd think he'd know better than to fall in with the idiot brigade. Hell, maybe the college would take Dave on full time to cover the physics courses once they opened up for real. Dave logged into to the course website, checking grades in the online homework column and looking for any labs submitted by the faster, more diligent (or just bored) students. No new work since yesterday. Maybe the rest would wait until last minute on Sunday night. On no, a procrastinating college student. What a surprise! A text message notification pulled him out of his reverie. It was from Lupie. "Please say yes." He was about to reply, asking her what he was supposed to say yes to, when he heard the doorbell. Crap. Dave rushed downstairs to the door, hearing a second ring on the way down. He grabbed a mask and slipped it on quickly just before opening the door a crack with his shoulder braced against it if he needed to slam it shut again. A man in a hazmat suit stood on Dave's porch, carrying a small case and wearing what appeared to be a watch on his right wrist. "Good morning sir, my name is Arthur Samuelson, I'm with the CDC. May I come in?" "You ain't a vampire are you?" The grin on Dave's face indicated he was joking. Arthur chuckled. "No sir, just administering tests checking for DuoHalo and making arrangements for vaccination." Dave got the impression a few details were being skipped here, as if the man in front of him was easing him in with the broadest strokes first. "A vaccine? Holy shit. Yeah, come on in dude." Dave backed up and opened the door fully. After making sure the door was fully closed, Dave led Arthur to the dining room table. Arthur immediately pulled out sterile cotton swabs, the kind with wooden stems and cotton only on one end, a small box. Arthur tapped the face of the watch and then typed in a numeric sequence when a digital number pad popped up. "It's a monitor. Some folks have taken a militant approach since the lockdowns started. Every time the watch buzzes at me, I have to enter a code within 30 seconds or they send a squad of troops to my coordinates." Dave reacted briefly, but nonverbally. Well, some people try to drown the lifeguard that's there to save their ass. Whoever said we've evolved past our caveman days isn't paying attention. Arthur handed one of the hospital style cotton swabs to Dave. "Just swab the inside of your cheek very well, no brain tickling this time." Dave swabbed as instructed, then handed the stick back to Arthur. Arthur set about processing the sample and placing it in the testing device. "This will take a few minutes. While we are waiting, is there anyone else to be tested here?" "No, I live alone." "Big place." "Yeah, I . . . had other plans, but they didn't pan out. Been here by myself for a few years now. Nice neighbors, especially next door, Lupie." Dave mentioned Lupie intentionally. Given the short time span between the text and the doorbell, it was possible, but not certain, the two were connected. "Yes, I just came from there. Nice ladies." "So, are you going door-to-door doing this, like somebody selling steak knives?" Arthur guffawed. "Not quite. We used electric usage rates to determine which houses still have people living in them. Then we set routes for each test administrator for a day. Also, you're going to like what I'm offering a lot more than steak knives, but they won't all come at once." Dave chuckled, but held back a bit. "So multiple booster shots?" "Something like that." Arthur's grin was slightly cryptic, like he was hiding a joke he wasn't ready to reveal just yet. "I hate needles man. I put up with them, but I usually have to look away when I get stuck for shots or blood donations." "We'll see what we can do to make it easier on you." The cryptic grin hadn't receded. Then the box trilled a three note sequence. Arthur checked it. "Congratulations, you are virus free. Let's make arrangements to keep you safe from this thing." Arthur pressed a button on the box, which then printed out a strip of paper. He handed the strip over to Dave. "So here's the deal: you know by now DuoHalo is deadly, especially to men. Like an 80% fatality rate for us guys." Dave's eyes hooded over. "I'm aware." "Yes, well it seems directly administering the vaccine is 100% fatal to men." "How the fuck is that supposed to help? Leave a planet of Valkyries that only survives if they solve cloning or learn to create artificial semen in one generation?" Dave shouted, but managed not to rise out of his seat. Arthur leaned back somewhat, as if subconsciously giving Dave a little extra space. "No sir, we have a solution, just please hear me out." Dave calmed himself and prepared to listen to what comes after three of the worst words to hear. Whatever followed those three words was either incredibly good, or monumentally bad. Dave wasn't holding his breath for the former. "No, no, nothing like that. It turns out that women can act as intermediaries for the vaccine, sort of a buffer solution. I'm sorry, that may not - " "I know what a buffer solution is and how it functions." "Oh, excellent. You see, we have found that if a vaccinated woman has intercourse with a man, her body buffers the vaccine serum and her immunity transfers - in part - to the man." "Intercourse? As in sex?" Arthur smirked "Someone at the office started referring to this as the STV - Sexually Transmitted Vaccine." Dave rolled his eyes briefly, then closed them and shook his head. "Okay, there is a website with text and videos to explain more details, but a few more things I should say before I leave. First, it takes more than one woman to keep a man safe. That means you will have multiple women 'sharing' you." Dave's eyebrows shot up, but he kept his mouth shut and listened for now. "The vaccine also creates some kind of bond between men and women, so once they sleep with you, they can't be with another man. Ever. It's extremely dangerous for the woman." Seeing Dave start to object, Arthur rushed along "The website I gave you is a highly detailed and personal survey. Women take the same survey. The results get processed through a system called Oracle that has been rigorously tested to match people. We don't want someone stuck with a person they can't stand." Hearing this, Dave was somewhat mollified. Arthur's haste from a moment ago clearly intended to forestall Dave's objection. Of course, Arthur probably thought the concern was for Dave being stuck with an objectionable woman. Dave was equally concerned with a woman getting stuck with him. "Alright so last few questions, how much space is there in this house?" "Oh, well, I have a king size canopy bed in the master bedroom. There are four more bedrooms upstairs, two of which have twin beds in them. The other two have no furniture." "You're going to want to change that. Your first partner will likely arrive tomorrow, with more coming every week, maybe four days apart, at least until we get you up to four partners. Eventually, you will be assigned at least twelve women. Oh, and one more thing." Arthur handed Dave a plain white letter envelope bearing Dave's name in a flowing script. "Your neighbor Lupie asked me to give this to you. I'll step out to the living room to give you some privacy, but I'll need an answer before I leave." Dave was puzzled and concerned but nodded Arthur towards the couch visible through the archway separating the dining and living rooms. Dave pulled out his pocketknife and slit the envelope open. His eyes widened at the first line. First line, hell - the salutation! Dearest David, Words cannot express just how wonderful it is just to address you in that way. I don't know when I began falling for you. I can tell you that last year, when I said I wanted a man who could make a living for us so that I could stay home, raise our kids, and love him with my whole heart, I was thinking of you. Yes, I know it's a bit silly to some, since I earn quite a nice income without any help, but that does not make me feel whole. I want to love you, and Esme, and the children we have together. Yes David, I want to bear your children and raise them with you. I wanted that before all of this lockdown and death started. And now, with all that's been lost, I want to feel life in my body. I want you to put it there. I never want to be away from Esme again. I want to manage your household and love you and our children and whomever else comes into our lives with the way the world is changing. I understand from the gentleman that came to our door that the vaccine has some unusual effects, including emotional and psychological impacts. This is why I am writing to you now, before I take the vaccine. I want to make sure you know this is really what I want. Before anything affects me. I love you. I want to be with you for a lifetime. You should also know that Becca wants to be with you as well. I suspect you will have objections based on her age. Yet, you know she is incredibly mature and responsible. You know what she went through to protect Esmeralda. You know what she has suffered through. Her world is completely unmoored. You, Esme, and I are all that she has left. Your heart and your mind know these things to be true. One thing you may not be aware of - Becca considers you her hero. For so many things big and small that you have done for us during this lockdown. Besides, she's a sci-fi and gaming nerd too, you two will get along quite well if you give her a chance. I love you desperately David. Please say yes. For both of us. Forever yours, Lupie. Dave reached into his back pocket for a handkerchief to dry his eyes. Lupie wanted him all along? Images flashed through his mind. Lupie laughing in a flowy dress on a pleasant spring day. Lupie's hands touching his as they exchanged eggs or produce. Lupie bringing him a glass of ice water while he repaired her fence because he couldn't bear the thought of her blowing money on a contractor. Lupie's proud grin as he thanked her and expounded on the deliciousness of the fresh tamales she brought over late last fall. Their hands had touched then too, hadn't they? No, she touched his hand. Not an accident. Dear God what an idiot! Hell yes he wanted Lupie in his life! And she had been showing him she wanted him in hers. Then his mind turned to Rebecca. Just barely eighteen, and him already forty-six. If she were five years older, she'd still be half his age! Everything Lupie said in her letter was true though. The four of them had gotten through this lockdown together - Lupie, her nine-year-old daughter Esme, and Becca, the young babysitter that had taken on so much when this first started. Loyalty to someone that had weathered the storm with him. Sympathy for someone who'd lost her entire family, even her extended relations. Admiration of the strength, character and resilience she'd shown. Mix in a little lust, 'cuz she's kinda cute. Nerdy cute. But then, Dave is a nerd, he likes nerd girls. Among others. So the only thing holding him back was a number? He'd seen that girl show more loyalty and honor than women twice her age! David took a cleansing breath and blew it slowly out. Arthur picked up on the change, stood and strode back to the dining room. "Have you made a decision?" "Yes. I will accept them both. I'd be a fool not to. How do we do that though? You said something about a matching program?" "Right, however a man may ask for a particular woman. The computer jockeys have to do some manual work for this to happen, so it's not a common occurrence. The two profiles are run through Oracle and the woman is informed of the request, the man's brief bio, and the match percentage of their profiles. Then she can choose to assent or decline." "Sounds like something waiting to be abused." "Hmm. I don't know of any such abuse occurring. I can see the potential you're talking about, but that would require one or more well placed conspirators in one of the vaccination centers." "And that never happens?" "Not to my knowledge. Not yet anyway. I need to get going. I'll inform your neighbors you've agreed. They'll pack a small suitcase and be ready to get picked up tonight or possibly tomorrow morning. You should expect your first partner to arrive sometime tomorrow. As long as you get that profile filled out. And be ruthlessly honest. It's quite thorough. Some questions might make you a bit uncomfortable. Fudging the answers could lead to poor results. And get it in quick. As soon as - Lupie and Becca? -" Dave nodded "are entered in the system, they will be compared to you. If your profile isn't there when the programmers run the comparison, they will be given a random match." Dave nodded his understanding, then rose to walk his guest out. Guest. After all these months, isn't that a hell of a thing? "Remember man, completely, brutally honest." With that, Arthur left. Dave closed the door behind him. He pulled out his phone and started typing. Yes To both of you. The little dots started dancing while he was still typing the second line. Thank you, David! Thank you so much! I'm sorry I held back so long! I have a lot to say to you too. But I want to say it in person. To look you in the eyes. Lupie, you have made me very happy. Happier than I feel I am worthy of. I can't wait to see you again. Face to face. Dave's phone buzzed with an incoming message, but there was nothing new from Lupie. He popped back to the inbox screen, finding an entry from Becca with an image. He opened it and just stared for a moment. He blinked when he realized his mouth was hanging open. Framed in the image was Becca, clearly taking a selfie, from just above her head to the bottom of her ribcage. She was biting her bottom lip and blushing furiously. Probably because the hand not holding the phone was holding her shirt and bra pulled up above her tits. Dave was embarrassed for a moment, then decided why not savor it? Hell, he'd be sharing a bed with her. He would see more than just her pert young boobies then. He sent a thumbs up, followed by: When you're all in, you're really all in huh? ; Laugh emoji ; Yeah, is that ok? ; Do you like them? Are they too small? They're beautiful. They're a part of you, and that makes them wonderful. Always remember that your body, as lovely as it is, is merely a bonus. You won me over with the strength of your character, your courage, your resilience. ; crying emoji, heart emoji ; You make me want to come over right now. ; peach, eggplant, water spurt ; See you in a few days. ; Lover. Dave had made it back to his office and woke his computer with a quick mouse shake. As he logged in, his phone buzzed again. This time it was Lupie. ; Is everything ok? Becca is acting really skittish, and she's blushing like she's embarrassed. Didn't you say yes to her? I did and do. If she doesn't want to tell you, I won't either. Yet. ; monocled raised eyebrow emoji I promise. I'll see you both - all three of you soon. Tell Esme she's getting a big hug. ; I will. I'll have a really nice hug for you too. Looking forward to it. Oh wow. GuadaLupie Jimena Angelina Gutierrez Ramos is itching to live in his house, share a bed with him, and spend her life with him? Fairy tales .. can come true.. it can happen to you; Dave forced himself to focus. He typed in the u r l Arthur had given him. Things started out bland enough. Girls, boys, both? Ladies only. Age range? Dave's first instinct was to set the bottom age to around 25 or 30. He's forty-six for God's sake. Yeah, it didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out repopulation was going to be an issue, and younger women had both more years of fertility and were more fertile, so at some point, someone would force the issue and each man would be paired with some women under twenty five. But Becca. If Dave set the minimum above eighteen, she might not even get a chance to match with him. That would likely separate her from Lupie and Esme as well. But that left the door open for other teens. Well, Arthur did say women got to pick who they paired with. Fuck it. I'm not screwing over Becca. That's not even a choice. We'll deal with whatever else results as we go. By the time Dave finished the Oracle survey, his stomach was growling. He wasn't quite done yet though. He only had a bare minimum of sheets and towels, so he went online and ordered three changes of sheets for both of the twin beds (there was already one set on each now), two full-sized beds for the two unfurnished rooms, four changes of sheets for those, and four dressers. He went down to the kitchen and pulled out the half tomato left from his lunch salad and started slicing it. After making his tomato sandwich, he added some chips and pickles to the plate. He sat quietly, alone, at the table, realizing that this may be the last dinner he has by himself. Arthur said multiple women. This whole house would be full of people. Full of life. What a difference a day makes. Dave was cleaning up from breakfast the next morning when he heard a knock at the door. He had just turned the water off at the sink, so it was possible this wasn't the first knock. He rushed to the door, grabbing a mask enroute. When he opened the door, a soldier stood there with a clipboard, a young lady beside and behind him. "You David Belsus?" "I am." "Meet your new partner sir, sign here please." Dave signed by the red x. "Y'all have a good day." He tipped his ball cap bill "Ma'am" and walked off. "Hi, I'm Janice Hoppler." She stuck out her hand and Dave shook it while processing what he was seeing. She was cute, late twenties or early thirties, distinctly Korean features, and jet black hair reaching the middle of her back. Dave had marked long hair as one of his desired traits in a woman, giving it a seven out of ten priority. Short hair can be nice, but nothing is so distinctly feminine as long hair. He'd pass up big boobs if a woman had long hair. Not that he'd mind getting both. Not even a little. "Can I come inside?" Dave realized he'd been shaking her hand for a bit too long and not saying anything. "Oh, sure. Sorry, this is kinda surreal." She grinned. "Ya, I know. First a pandemic kills off a huge part of the population, and now the solution is to fuck like bunnies and every man gets like a dozen women? Sounds like some high school boy's fantasy dream." Her dark eyes danced as she laughed. Dave brought her in to sit in the living room, mindful to sit somewhat close so he didn't appear distant, but not all up in her personal space. "Yeah, well, the hard part will be keeping up with the libidos of ten or twelve women. Especially since the videos mentioned you're each going to have an accelerated sex drive." "They also said you would get some invigoration as well. But don't worry, I'll make sure your part is plenty hard so it can do its work." Janice giggled when Dave blushed and closed his eyes. "Sorry, that's not the kind of thing I'd normally say out loud, but they did say all of us ladies will wind up much more forward than we had been before." "That could be helpful, I'm not great at picking up on subtle signals. When it happens, I just think a woman is being nice, but not interested. Or I think she's interested and she's just being nice." "Well, I'm interested enough to choose to be bonded with you for the rest of my life so consider this carte blanche to get frisky anytime you feel like it." She stood, strode to his chair and planted a smoky kiss on his lips, but no tongue. Dave took a breath to recover and register that this was really happening. "So, would you like to see the place first?" "Sure." Janice took his hand as he stood. "You've seen the entryway and parlor," Dave said guiding Janice past the couch into the dining room and beyond into the kitchen. "So here's the kitchen. The small door in the corner is the pantry. Upper two cabinets next to the fridge are dry foods. The other two are dishes and glasses. Lower cabinets are pots, pans, etc." Janice sniffed the air. "You cook much? Smells like you just had breakfast." "Yeah, I had just finished dishes. Did y'all have to knock more than once?" "Twice. But that's worth it for a man that can cook." "You cook much?" "I have to follow box directions carefully to get mac n' cheese to come out decent. I can only do cakes with help from Betty or Duncan and even that is an iffy proposition. Is that a problem, that I don't cook?" "Oh no, not at all." Dave led her out of the kitchen, winding back through the dining room and living room. "Up the stairs are the bedrooms, a full bath, my office, and the master suite." Her eyes glimmered. "Shortly." He paused. "Wow, that's new, me being the one to hold off." "I can see you want it. It's kinda sexy you wanting me, but not just jumping me." "Hmm. I 'll keep that in mind." He hoped his eyes were conveying his interest. Guess they were. "So, we were talking about cooking. I love to cook and so does Lupie. Becca enjoys it I think, but she's still learning. Not bad. She made me birthday cupcakes over the summer. Of course, we had to do the careful packaging and cleaning bit. She wanted to so bad after I made her a birthday dinner and cupcakes." "Who are Lupie and Becca?" "Oh, right, my neighbors." "Oh, the Latina woman and her daughter?" "The daughter is Esme. She's nine. Becca is the eighteen year old blonde. When did you see them?" "They were loading -" Dave and Janice had just arrived at the first door off the hallway past the living room. A former guest bedroom, Dave had done some renovations, adding the closet space of the room onto the half bath and converting that into a full bath. The rest of the room he had filled with bookshelves and comfortable chairs. A few small tables sat near the chairs to rest a drink or a book on. One table bore a good-sized and fairly recent globe. A map of the U S A and a world map adorned one wall in the sitting area. And of course, all the shelves were loaded with books. Janice took a few steps into the room past Dave, who had stopped the moment she cut herself off, wondering what was wrong. When she spun to face him, he saw the look of a kid walking into a candy store with a hand full of monthly allowance. Janice swiftly crossed the small distance between them, launched her short frame into his arms and kissed him fiercely. "Fuck me. Fuck me right here, right now." Dave's brain was not keeping up with the changes. Janice wasn't waiting anyway. She quickly unbuckled his belt, unbuttoned and unzipped his pants and shoved them to his ankles, along with his boxers. She dropped to her knees and started kissing and licking his cock. As it began to fill out, she took it in her mouth and bobbed her head along its length. Dave had always been self-conscious about his cock. It wasn't anything impressive as far as he knew. It didn't help that it shrank in both length and girth in the flaccid state. A cheating ex-wife didn't help things either. And yet, here was this beautiful woman, on her knees, hungry for his cock. Janice's eyes rolled back in her head and a deep, guttural moan issued from her chest. She stilled for a moment, falling back with her ass on her heels. She looked like she might fall over, so Dave took hold of her shoulders. After a minute or so, She looked up at him, happy and hungry. "That. was. Awesome!" Then her eyes zeroed in on his cock again, taking the same look as a hawk spying a squirrel. He was fully erect now. Janice rose up enough to shove his hips. "On the ground baby. Time to finish this. Make me your horny little bitch for life." Dave lay down, Janice not even waiting until he was all the way down to crawl up his body and straddle him. The sensations he picked up from the tip of his cock as she settled herself told him she wore no panties under her loose skirt. She quickly lined him up with her entrance and sat back forcefully. "Fuck yeah. This thing feels so damn good baby. God, how the hell are you still single? I'd fucking sell my soul to you if you promised to fuck me." She started rising a bit, then shoving herself back down, then grinding her clit against him. "Fucking perfect fucking thickness and length. I feel so stuffed, and not painful." She placed her palms over his nipples and began focusing her efforts on riding up and down, her breathing getting ragged. Janice emitted several moans and grunts as she worked herself and Dave up to a pinnacle. For his part, Dave was just hoping to last long enough for her to enjoy this. It had been a while since he'd been with a woman and Rosy Palm just isn't the same. He felt his pleasure rising rapidly and focused on holding it back. Just then she threw her head back and howled in pleasure as her inner muscles ran riot gripping him. He crested too, shooting up into her. Her howl nearly became a scream, her whole body shaking, seizing. Dave grasped her torso at the bottom of her ribcage to give her some stability. She collapsed like a ragdoll, her arms, limbs and neck going limp, dangling from her still vertical body in Dave's hands. Dave lowered her body to his and gently rolled them over, one hand behind her head to keep it from flopping around. He pulled up his boxers and pants so his legs could move enough to stand. Doing so, he tucked himself back in and fastened his pants. Dave crouched beside his sleeping beauty, gave her a soft kiss on her forehead, then scooped her into his arms and carried her up to the master bedroom. He laid her out gently on top of the covers and draped a light blanket over her. Then he went back to his computer to watch some of the videos he had skipped. Clearly, he had missed a few important facts. Janice has Dave all to herself for one day. Chapter 2 - Janice's Day. September 19, 2020. Dave fought the urge to go straight to his computer and watch more videos on this vaccine. He'd anticipated the chanting of 'imprinting' but he'd skipped over the parts of the videos on sexual effects, thinking it would wait, or not even matter. That reaction was not natural. Okay, he's somewhat decent in bed, but that shit was next level, pornstar stuff. No way a woman got that excited over his crank. Before he could go video surfing, he needed to get over and feed Lupie's chickens. No telling when they'd be back, probably tomorrow, and the chickens had to get fed. At least he wouldn't need to truss up. He wasn't running into anyone else. Dave slipped through the fence gate separating Lupie's front yard from her backyard. She left it unlocked all the time. Dave only mentioned it once, and then remained low-level worried for her when she never locked it. Dave was pulled out of his musing by a low growl. In the backyard, glaring at him, was a large dog, a mutt with a lineage that ran thick and muscular. The eyes looked somewhat red, but the muzzle showed clear evidence of dried blood. Most likely a neighbor had died, thus cutting of the dog's food supply. It broke out of its own backyard and had been killing other dogs, cats or squirrels thus far. Now it was thinking squab for breakfast and Dave had just interrupted. Well, first good news, no foaming at the mouth so it's probably not rabid. Still a good idea to not get bit though. Holding stock still, Dave scanned the area, moving his eyes only, searching for anything that could be helpful. Ironically, Dave had a number of weapons at home that would have solved this little problem for the neighborhood. Not that they were doing him any good right now. A shop broom. Lupie kept a shop broom on the back porch, and it was just a few feet away. Well that's something. Dave took a small step sideways and the growling turned to a couple of loud barks. The dog leaned to one side, as if anticipating the need to intercept Dave running sideways. Dave's hand reached out slowly, causing the dog to bark harshly and take two steps closer. Dave's hand connected with the broom. When he began pulling the broom to him, the dog charged, open mouth, teeth bared. Feeling a little ridiculous, Dave snapped into ready position, the brush part of the broom held low. He thrust the broom under the dog's muzzle, the bristles splaying out absurdly. The dog reared back, possibly about to leap over the broom, so Dave adjusted his motion upward, catching the dog's chin and flipping it up and back. The dog kept his back feet planted and swiveled its head to take the broom head in its mouth. It swung its head back and forth, attempting to pull the broom from Dave's hands. Dave took a firm grip and unscrewed the handle from the broom, with a few added jabs to keep the dog off balance as he did so. The dog noticed the moment the head come loose from the handle. It threw down the head and came charging again. Dave of course was ready for this, swinging the metal threads on the head end of the handle in an arc that delivered an upper cut to the dog's jaw. With an angry yip, the dog pulled back, barked, and circled. Dave turned with the dog, waiting for the next charge. When it came, Dave snapped the end of the handle on the dog's head in a downward strike that connected, but did not stop the dog. Dave slipped sideways as he brought the other end of the handle around, catching the dog in the shoulder. At this point, Dave realized scaring the dog off might not work at all, and if it did, the dog would be back in an hour or so. He was going to have to kill the dog to keep the chickens safe. Dave had already maneuvered to the concrete porch in Lupie's backyard. He slammed the end of the broom handle in a downward strike on the porch, snapping the end off and leaving a splintered point on the end. He now had a spear. The dog charged again. This time, Dave waited until the dog reared up to leap before plunging the sharpened end of the handle into the dog's torso. A sickening yelp issued from the dog as the makeshift spear drove into its chest cavity. The dog fell, pulling Dave's weapon from his hands, and lay growling, panting and whimpering on the porch. Mortally wounded, the dog was still dangerous. It was also in pain. Dave needed to dispatch it quickly. Every moment it wasted away would wear on his soul. He spotted Lupie's garden trowel. Moving swiftly, he grabbed it, slipped behind the dog, and drove the trowel into the base of the skull, ending the animal's pain. Once he was sure the animal was neither a danger nor in pain, Dave sat back on his haunches and wept bitter tears. Hell, he'd kill deer and turkey before, but that was hunting. What meat he didn't eat or give to Lupie was donated to a local charity to feed the poor or homeless. The butcher he used sold the deerskin and turkey feathers to local crafters for their works. This animal was dead because it was hungry and targeted the wrong prey. Feeling like an utter wimp, Dave wiped his eyes and face dry. He went back to his own garage, pulled out a tarp, and headed back to Lupie's yard. Dave wrapped the dog in the tarp, then carried it through the back gate, and tossed the carcass in the rolling garbage bin. More waste. More death. By the time Dave got back, the chickens had largely settled down. He scattered some seed into their enclosure and filled the water tank from the backyard hose. Dave left the backyard, pulling Lupie's gate closed tightly behind him and returned to his own home. He went upstairs to the master suite bathroom and scrubbed his arms thoroughly. Partly to remove any fluids that might have gotten on him. Mostly as a psychological exercise, trying to wash away what happened. Emerging from the bathroom, Dave was captured by Janice's sleeping face. He climbed into bed and lay beside her, watching her gently breathe. Drinking in the feeling of another life nearby. But he had work to do. And some research on what happened this morning. Maybe watching the videos first would help get his head settled again so he could focus on his project. Rewatching the video he'd skipped parts of, he hit the part explaining the bonding effect of the serum on women with a male partner. Did that work in reverse? Is that why he found Janice's muttering of 'imprinting' slightly sexy, but not the lady in the video? His thoughts were interrupted by his text warning bing. Lupie sent; Can you look a few things up for me? There's a lot of terms here I don't know and I can't ask Lupie face to face. And I can't look it up without leaving the survey. Sure, what do you need defined? If I don't know, I'll search it up for you. Lupie sent; Okay, the first one is fictophilia. That one I'll need to look up. Oh, okay, that's having an attraction to a fictional character. Not sure if that's the same as cosplay or not. Lupie sent; So if I had that, would you dress up as Malcom Reynolds for me? Sure. But I might want reciprocation. Lupie sent; Zoey, Kaylee, or Inara Sera? Yes. Lupie sent; huge crying laughing emoji ok, how about lactophilia? I mean, it's tasty, but I'm not fixated on it. She posted a question mark. Oh, sorry, it means you like for your partner to suckle mother's milk from you during foreplay or sex. Or, you know, you want to suckle *from* them. Another lady I mean Lupie sent; Oh Shit, I didn't know that was a thing! Okay, I kinda like the idea of you sucking on me during, you know. Not sure I'm into other girls though. Eventually we are going to get better at finishing those sentences kitten. We'll be 'you knowing a lot. Lupie sent; laugh emoji And you don't have to do anything with another woman Never, if you aren't interested. It took a few minutes, and Dave was about to hit play again on the video when another text from Becca came in. Lupie sent; somnophilia? It means you get aroused seeing a sleeping person. Or you want to be taken in your sleep. Lupie sent; Oh god, I just had this thrill run through me at the idea of waking up with you already in me, on top of me. So we're doing that? Lupie sent; Oh yeah. oh, and I hit yes on watersports too. I'd love to do it in the shower, or a pool. God, wish we had a pool, that would be awesome. No no no no! That is not; what watersports means! Watersports means pee! You want to be pee'd on or you want to pee on your partner! Lupie sent; Oh Gross. barf emoji People do that? Surely you've seen porn pics of girls squatting and peeing in a field or on a road? Lupie sent; Yeah. Well, that's what it's for. Lupie sent; No offense Dave, but that's a hard no. We are in absolute agreement kitten. Lupie sent; Okay, finally finished. I hit submit, now the great microchip brain gets to spin our data and tell us how close we are. Lupie sent; I'm a little scared David. What if it doesn't match us? Becca, worrying isn't going to help you at all. Just get a snack, talk with Esme or Lupie. Or talk with another lady if there's someone nearby. Lupie sent; I miss you already. The text went quiet. Dave waited a few more minutes and then turned his attention to his computer. Time to focus on his side project. The secret one. For his public side job, Dave did data analysis, but no one was sending him new numbers to crunch or putting out bids at the moment. Government types probably had more data than they knew how to process, but Dave had never done government jobs and never had any clearance level. His 'quiet' side job was less boring but could be problematic if some prudish Karen found out. Well, some folks knew, because they paid him money. But no one had connected his online persona with him. Dave had written two adult visual novels, with good reviews. Now he worked on a game with adult themes. And pictures, of course. Fitting his personal fiction interests, the background was an apocalyptic scenario, and the main character built a harem of capable and beautiful ladies to; survive. Even with software support, Dave wasn't much of an artist, so he had an arrangement with someone else to render the images and short video scenes. Version 0.3 had been out for three months, so he was working intently to complete 0.4 before Thanksgiving. The artist was reliable and good. Dave just needed to give him (her? They used anonymous internet handles) clear and detailed descriptions of what he wanted. That meant figuring out what was happening in this next update. Lockdown had somewhat helped. Dave had more free time available. He'd gotten 0.3 out early, but that just meant his paying supporters wanted more. And they are paying, even in months he didn't produce anything. Half an hour of banging his head against code (and thinking strongly of banging his head against the wall) Dave finally got 'in the flow' and cranked out the last bit of story structure over the next two hours. That ended when his grumbling stomach informed him of his neglect. First though, he'd look in on Janice. It was both strange and comforting, seeing this lovely woman in his bed, sleeping peacefully. His heart warmed at the sight, but a nagging fear rose in him as well. He knew this was only due to this strange vaccine. How long until the bio geeks find a solution so women were not stuck with a guy forever? That would be a very telling day. One which Dave would welcome, but also feared. Feeling the need for some comfort food, Dave made himself a couple of grilled cheese sandwiches, then piled two handfuls of chips on the plate. He didn't keep soda in the house unless company was coming, so he grabbed a lime flavored seltzer. He liked soda, but that's why he didn't keep it around. After cleaning up from lunch, Dave headed back to his office space to check in on his Astronomy class. They had a project due this past weekend, so it was time to grade the results. Thirty minutes later, he felt like his eyes were bleeding reading the same errors repeatedly. Most of them were doing the math correctly, but they were measuring completely wrong. Which didn't make sense, given that Dave had made a video explicitly showing how to take the measurements. It was a simple parallax trick astronomers used for gauging distance to stars. It told also be used by surveyors to measure distance across a river or gorge. If you do it right. What he wanted to do was bang his head against a wall for ten minutes, then arrange a live zoom session with his students to find out what they didn't understand, and then have them do the project again. But there may not be enough time to complete all the semester topics. Fuck it, put out another tutorial video on the topic so they can get the parallax questions right on the midterm, and just be a little lenient grading this set of work. Work email popped a new message. From the dean. What the fuck? Seriously? Online physics? For majors? The whole point of slipping physics into the degree plans of doctors and other professionals has more to do with analytical techniques and detailed, careful experimental training than the topics covered. Yeah, several of the topics apply closely to those future careers also, but mostly it's used to make sure these kids understand the precision needed in scientific professions, how to analyze data, read graphs and use equations. And since it's tough, it weeds out those without the dedication or talent to go the distance. Dave shot back a reply email, asking for clarification. Will there be a budget to buy kits so kids can do experiments at home? How long to I have to assemble my own kits, or source some third party? What's the budget limit? Dave groaned. Just two years ago they'd gotten a grant to buy some great new lab equipment. But he only had one classroom set, and it was expensive. No way could he send out this gear to the students. Not enough for each one to have a set. And even if no one tried anything fishy, basic forgetfulness would result in a third of the equipment missing by the end of the semester. This shit was way too expensive for that. A second email from the dean, not a reply to his reply, a new topic. At least she was dependably methodical on that. Different topic required a different email chain. She might be a squishy (the dean was a microbiologist, Dave referred to all life science degreed folks as 'squishies') with little imagination on administrative matters, but she was very consistent and precise. Okay, so she's giving him a heads up on; a vaccine? Cute. Dave sent back a reply, thank her for the information, but his first partner arrived this morning and is currently passed out. She shot back a reply, relieved that he was safe, followed by an observation that departmental parties with spouses were going to be much larger from now on. Then she replied to the other email, pointing out that several big universities do online, without hands on labs. They sent the students pre-collected data and had them only do the analysis. Dave could go that route if he wanted. Of course, if Dave chose to put a few labs requiring data collection by the students, along with other labs that only used canned data, that would make their online physics more rigorous than those other schools. Just saying'. Lovely. Dave went back to grading and finished the column out. At least for those that had already submitted. A half hour surfing science kit supply companies left him unimpressed, so he pulled out a sheet of paper and outlined a video on parallax. His head wasn't right to shoot it today, but he could plan it. The day was wearing on and Dave had already gotten a lot done. Time for a brain break. Dave locked out the computer and headed downstairs to the library. Standing in the fiction area, He browsed for a bit before pulling out an old favorite, Executive Orders by Tom Clancy. He settled into a lounge chair in the library and let his mind and body relax. As usual, Dave lost all track of time while immersed in a book. He was midway through a particularly engrossing passage when Janice came through the library door with a huge grin. She'd changed out of her clothes from this morning, now dressed in his 'not procrastinating, just doing side quests' shirt and a pair of her panties. Well, maybe panties. The shirt hem was low enough to reach an inch or so below her groin. She was not wearing a bra however. The pinpoints sticking out of the shirt proclaimed that fact loudly. Dave smiled, setting the book aside and began to rise. Janice placed a soft hand on his chest and then settled herself in the lounger alongside him. She kissed him firmly on the cheek and temple, then rubbed the side of her face against his. They ended the nuzzling nose to nose, looking into each other's eyes. "Have a nice nap?" "Best sleep ever." Janice took another look around the room, taking in a deep breath. "God I love the smell of books." She snuggled in tighter. "Your profile mentioned reading as one of your pastimes, but nothing about having a full-on library in your house. I saw the smaller bookshelves in the entryway, but this really blew me away. And you have another bookshelf in the bedroom!" She stopped to deliver another steamy kiss. "It's hard sometimes finding other bookworms, except at work. I love it, but sometimes I just want to enjoy books, ya know?" "What is it you do? It feels like I should already know that, before we, um; " "Before I jumped you?" Dave nodded, then chuckled. "I just texted Becca this morning about being free talking with each other about sex, and here I am all tongue tied." Janice laughed with him. "Well, lover, I'm a librarian over at Cedar Valley." "Wow. Obviously a love of books could drive you into that career, but does it ever get to you? Make you want to get away from books?" Janice just stares at him. "I withdraw the question and humbly beg the court's forgiveness." She chuckled and kissed him on the nose. "How about you feed me something, I'm starving." "Starving, or starving?" Dave said, pushing lightly towards her with his pelvis along with the second iteration. After a hearty laugh, Janice said "Both, in that order. Give me the meat buster." Dave chortled while lifting her off him and setting her, standing on the floor. He stood beside her, giving her side eye as they walked side by side, holding hands, to the kitchen. "You give this appearance of coquettish innocence and then talk saucy enough to get me half hard before you remove so much as a single button. Is that due to the vaccine?" Janice rubbed first her shoulder, then her tit against his arm while looking up into his eyes. "Mostly just me, a few friends have said I give a reserved air until I'm with people I trust. The vaccine's effects might lower that veil a bit faster." A brief wash of pain passed over Janice's face. Dave didn't inquire, knowing it must be concern or mourning for friends no longer living. Dave took a quick look through the fridge. "We can do steak, mashed potatoes, and broccoli in about an hour, mostly because of the potatoes. Or we can do broccoli beef, probably about 45 minutes. Or we can do sloppy joes and chips in about twenty or twenty-five minutes." "Sloppy joes it is." Dave grabbed the thawed pound of ground beef, an onion, and a green bell pepper from the fridge. "Can you go into the pantry and grab a can of tomato sauce?" Dave said, while pointing to the pantry door. He remembered pointing it out this morning, but reinforcement usually helps assimilate new information. When Janice came back out, Dave had two skillets on the stove, and spices on the counter alongside a cutting board, knife and the two veggies. "Can I help?" "Sure, how's your knife skills?" "Well, I can cut a bitch if I have to; " Dave burst out laughing, lowering the knife to the counter just to be safe. He turned to Janice, giving her a fierce kiss. "Oh, I think I needed that." He wiped a few tears from his eyes and got back to dicing the pepper and onion. "Aright, how about you sauté these while I get the meat started?" With a light grimace, she asked "How?" "Toss 'em in the skillet on medium-low heat, about a tablespoon of butter" Dave looked at the veggies again, "maybe two, a couple shakes of salt. Keep the veggies in the butter, stirring a bit once in a while, until the onions start to look clear." Janice set to work sautéing, while Dave got the ground beef browning. He stepped aside from the stove to the adjacent counter to leave her more space. Dave poured 'eyeball' measured amounts of powdered garlic, paprika, cumin (very little), salt, and chili powder in to a small bowl and swirled the bowl to mix everything. When he leaned towards the stove to tend the beef, Janice leaned her head against his shoulder. "Comfy?" Janice nodded her head. Dave kissed her on the crown and she hummed. "Think you could watch both of these? Just make sure to turn the beef and keep chopping it into small bits so we get crumbles instead of big chunks. I'm going to toast some bread. Sorry, we don't have any buns." "That's okay, I know what buns I want to bite." Janice punctuated her statement with an impish wink. Dave just shook his head, grabbed the loaf out of the cabinet and got to work with the toaster. A few minutes later, Janice called out, "The beef is sizzling and sticking. I'm getting some brown in the bottom of the pan." "Perfect, pour in the veggies, then the tomato sauce." Seeing her do that he added, "Great, now sprinkle the spices over the top, as evenly as you can. Good, Now just stir that up a bit. Let it cook down some, boil off some of the liquid. Stir it every few minutes." Dave had finished the toast well before Janice had called out, but she seemed to be doing well so far and he wanted to let her get more comfortable in the kitchen. Sounded like something she wanted, based on what she'd said this morning. He did walk up behind her and give her a gentle, loose hug as she worked the skillet. Janice rested her head back on his chest. "This is so thoroughly domestic. Thank you." "You don't have to cook you know. There'll be three cooks in the family by tomorrow evening." "Yeah, and one is an eighteen year old girl who's fifteen years younger than me." "That teen girl has been through the wringer. She's shown some serious maturity. That's why I accepted her. She's the only reason I set my age range that low." "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to sound dismissive." Dave was quiet for a moment. "I'm sorry for coming off snappy. We lived in separate houses, but the four of us rode this mess out together." Janice nodded. "How about you tell me more over dinner. Starting tomorrow they're going to be family." With the meat reaching its final stage, Dave put a hot pad on the table for the skillet, and grabbed two open bags of chips from the cabinet. He'd already placed the toast on the table as soon a

On today's show a muralist for the Warriors encourages us to dream big. Then, we visit the West Oakland studio of a painter who created pieces for the Valkyries. And, an artist tells a touching story about a MUNI driver who changed his life.

Miracle On Route 34: Part 2 Virginia and Santa face extreme danger together. Based on a post by BiscuitHammer, in 3 parts. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. Someone attacked Santa with a wicked-looking spiked hand-axe, something out of a sci-fi movie. He batted the weapon aside and clapped his open hands across the man's ears, busting his brain. Before he dropped, Santa grabbed the corpse and swung it around in a wide arc, smashing it into the foes surrounding him and knocking them back. "Shit!" Ginny squealed as one of the targets landed near her. "It's like the fucking Matrix in here!" As he threw the corpse away, he paused very briefly and glanced at her. "Since you happen to be right there, how about a little mood music?" "What?" "I'm just saying some music would be nice if we're going to be doing this," he called. "You're next to the entertainment system, how about putting something on?" "You’re shitting me, right?" she almost complained, wincing as she heard something delicate-sounding and expensive smash behind her amidst the wild brawl. She stared at the multimedia system, flapping her arms in frustration as she tried to focus through the noise. This couldn't be happening. She clutched the sleeves of her plush robe for a moment, trying to concentrate on its soft, fuzzy texture and center herself. She'd almost forgotten the large nerf gun in her hands but ignored it now, fixing her gaze on the mp3 playlist. She pressed a button. "Silent night; Holy night;" Bing crooned through the room. "Not really what I had in mind!" Santa mentioned loudly as he rammed his knee into a man's chin. "Try again!" Ginny bit her lip and pressed the button again, this time rewarded with Gary Glitter singing 'Another Rock And Roll Christmas'. "Still not quite there," he said as he snapmared another foe. "Better, but not quite!" "Well I don't know!" she shouted in exasperation. "What kind of music do you put on while Santa kills things in your living room?" Santa turned sideways and thrust his foot out, kicking an intruder in the chest and sending him sprawling backwards, rolling head over heels until he thumped into the entertainment system, jolting it and skipping the player. "I am a bitch. How do you want me? From behind, or on my knees? I am a slut, please hold me down, I'll be your noise, This shit will fuck you up!" "Perfect!" he declared as he fought, swarmed once again by foes. "Seriously?" Ginny yelled. "Combichrist is Santa's fucking fighting groove?" "I'm trying to figure out why you have it on your playlist," Santa replied. "I don't remember you liking aggrotech!" "Why the hell do you of all people even know what it is?" she shot back, wincing as she watched another body sail into the opposite wall with a sickening crunch before dropping to the floor and leaving a huge, crumbling dent in the stone. 'This Shit Will Fuck You Up!' "I prefer the term 'Hellektro' myself," he added. "And I know all songs, silly. I remember when the Dayglo Abortions wrote that 'Hey Santa!' song back in the '80's, they didn't get presents for” "I didn't ask, why are you answering?" she hissed. "Kill! Kill!" All the while, the pounding rhythms of the music filled the room. "I am a bitch. How do you want me? From behind, or on my knees? I am a slut, please hold me down, I'll be your noise, This shit will fuck you up!" "Well, at least we know why it's on your playlist, anyway!" he mentioned as he broke someone's back over his knee. "Very funny, red man!" Ginny hissed, scowling. She ducked wildly as another assailant flew overhead and landed in the Jacuzzi, his neck slamming against the hard edge with a snap noise and then tilting at a strange angle, his eyes wide and unseeing. "Fucking hell," she muttered. "These guys eat too much red meat!" Santa smashed two heads together before punting a third man in the chest, sending him staggering back until he fell against the entertainment unit, right next to Ginny, his eyes spiraling in his head. She scowled down at him for a moment before smashing the pitcher of nog on his cranium and sending him to the floor. Every single intruder stopped and turned to look at her suddenly, their eyes narrowing and turning very yellow. "Eep;" Ginny said quietly, going pale. They all howled and lunged toward her, even as Santa fought to reach her first. She shrieked in fright. "Darn it, Ginny!" he shouted in what almost sounded like irritation. "I told you not to do anything!" "You said not to use the stupid nerf gun!" she shot back as she dodged wildly and began to run around, evading her pursuers. "I meant don't do anything to get yourself noticed!" he growled as he bulldogged one man's head into the floor. He sprang to his feet and grabbed another man by the back of the head, ramming his face into the stone wall, creating a small crater from which the body slumped only slowly and wetly. "How the hell did they not notice the mostly naked girl in the room?" she yelled, sprinting around the circumference of the room, being chased by yellow-eyed foes. "They're mostly quantum, they don't always perceive real-state things or beings until they're interacted with!" he answered. "They weren't looking for you until you announced yourself!" "Oh, you and your weird physics shit!" she groused, her robe coming more and more undone as she ran. One of her tits was exposed, bouncing annoyingly and the nipple hardening as a cold wind from the endless holes in her walls and windows blew into the room. "Now what?" "Well, since they know you're here, you might as well use the gun," he answered as he tackled a small knot of them who were looking to cut off her avenue of escape. "At least then you can defend yourself if you're careful!" "The fuck am I supposed to do?" she shouted angrily as she clutched the ridiculous, useless gun. "Nerf them to death? Hope I shoot one foam dart down a throat and hope the bastard chokes and dies?" "Didn't you just let me inside all of your orifices?" he pointed out as he spun low, sweeping one foe's feet from under him and then taking him by the ankles to slam him off the floor. "Trust me, Virginia!" "Dammit!" she spat, steeling her nerve, hoping her resolve was harder than her nipple currently was. Taking a deep breath, she stopped running and spun, pointing the gun and pulling the plastic trigger; She yelped in astonishment as coruscating arcs of lightning crackled and lashed out from the muzzle, enveloping several foes, who wailed in glowing agony before disappearing from view. "Jesus H Fucking Tesla!" she exclaimed in amazement as she gaped down at her toy. "Virginia, language!" Santa warned. She rolled her eyes and pointed at another man rushing her, pulling the trigger and watching him explode in a shower of scintillating particles. "This shit will fuck you up!" blared the speakers. The wall splintered next to Ginny and several terrifying creatures barged in, causing her to shriek in fright, they were easily Santa's size, vaguely humanoid but covered in a greyish, segmented carapace, with insectoid heads, evil-looking mandibles and huge claws at the end of four arms. They hissed as the lunged for her. "Fuck fuck fuck!" cried out as she began running. "Fucking hate motherfucking bugs!" She fired wildly behind herself without looking, managing to strike one of the new creatures but only slowing it down. Ginny raced for the stairs, stampeding up them only to find more of the yellow-eyed humanoids waiting for her. "Santa!" she cried out in terror. "Help!" He glanced her way and grimaced at her predicament. "Aw, hell;" With a strength born of the desperation to protect one of his precious children, he surged forward, shoulder-blocking his way through a knot of assailants, springing through the air with astonishing agility, alternately using the wall and railing of the stairs to get to the upper floor, twisting and executing a flying kick that downed a foe about to attack Ginny. "Good thing I wore my enhanced parkour boots tonight, eh?" he muttered as he glared at the foes crowding to get up the stairs or down the hallway at them. "I don't even know what that means." Ginny snapped, backing up warily as the horde coming for them grew in numbers. "If that's some sort of geek speak, then we, are you getting bigger?" "I guess I am," he replied, grimly, glaring at their foes. "I don't expect what I'm saying to make sense, but the other iterations of me, my other selves, they're all coming here, merging with me to help meet the threat." "You're; consolidating?" she asked in disbelief. "That's one way to look at it," he said, his blue eyes flashing. "It's gonna make finishing the Christmas run tight if I get held up here much longer." "Oh, terribly sorry if I'm inconveniencing you, your highness." Ginny said, trying to not sound too snide. He put his body between her and her foes, backing her up against the wall. "They can't come through the wall you're up against, it's the South wall," he said quietly but with a sense of urgency. "You're safe from that angle. You can fire your gun past me or over the rail at the guys down below. Since they're trying to reach you that means they've solidified enough that they can't do crazy things like jump seven meters up to reach you, they'll have to use the stairs." "I thought they were after you." Ginny said hotly. "They were, until you announced yourself with a jug of nog," he pointed out. "Now they want to destroy you to hurt me." "Oh. Sorry." Ginny mumbled somewhat sheepishly. "You can make it up to me later!" he said as he surged forward suddenly, bulling his way through the approaching crowd, clotheslining several at once. Shouts went up and the fight was on again. Santa punched, kicked, elbowed, kneed and wrenched his way through the enemy horde. Ginny swore he was indeed bigger than he had been earlier. His already hard body physique was almost bulging with muscles now, like a California beach bodybuilder. Black blood glistened on his flawless skin as he maimed the attackers. Droplets that hit the carpet sizzled and ate through it, burning the hardwood floor beneath. "No!" Ginny wailed in despair. "Not the hardwood! I loved that feature!" She glared and gritted her teeth as she leaned over the railing and pointed the nerf gun down at the endless crowd on the main floor, pulling the trigger. The crackling arcs of energy enveloped several foes, who wailed and vanished. Same as before, the giant insectoids rarely disappeared but seemed slowed or staggered by the attack. Santa fought his way forward, forcing the attackers back from Ginny. Try as they might, no one got by him, even if it meant that they could strike at him instead. He took their assaults resolutely, using his body as a shield to protect her. Before long, the floor of the hallway was littered with bodies, some barely stirring, others not moving at all. Still, the foes swarmed up the stairs. One of the bug-things swiped at him with its vicious claws and he ducked under the blow before kicking his boot into one of the reverse-jointed legs, snapping it. The bug screeched and tumbled and he leapt onto its back, grabbing hold of one of the large, wet-grey chitinous plates that armored its back and pulled, it tore away with a mushy crack and the beast's keened agony as it shuddered and thrashed. Without pausing, Santa whirled around and slammed the exoskeletal plate across several men's heads, dropping them. Ginny kept firing the nerf tesla gun, wondering what sort of sociopath would invent a deadly weapon that looked like a famous kid's toy. She pushed it from her mind, realizing that she wanted to live and didn't care at the moment about the social mores of the issue. Santa was using the huge chitin plate almost like a shield, driving his foes back with it to the stairs. It finally cracked in half and he punched through the mess, unwilling to give the enemy time to regroup. He spun one man around with a fist across the jaw before grabbing his arms from behind and ramming his knee into the man's back, lifting him off the floor and letting him slam his spine onto the stairs. Without waiting, Santa launched himself through the air, knee raised and smashed it into the face of a man on the stair's corner landing. The foe's head went back through the wall with a loud crunch and he hung there limply, no longer part of the battle. "Ack!" Ginny squawked as the nerf gun sputtered and let out several impotent flashes and then died. "Not now! No no no!" One foe had broken through the cordon and now raced toward her. She yelled loudly and smashed the butt of her nerf gun into his face, staggering him for a moment. She glared at him angrily, waiting for him to fall, but her didn't, so she kicked him in the crotch with her instep. He groaned and sunk to his knees, holding himself. Ginny was practically jumping up and down on top of him by the time he stopped moving. "Stay; the; fuck; down!" she shouted angrily as she turned his ribcage into powder. She failed to notice the one last foe who rushed up behind her. But then Santa was at her side and he delivered a devastating haymaker to the man's thorax. Stunned, the intruder staggered back against the railing. With a growl, Santa grabbed him by the face and ruthlessly bent his back over the railing before leaping over and slamming his elbow across the man's neck as he went down to the main floor. The lifeless form crumpled next to him as he looked around, glaring. No foes remained standing. Aside from the music, all was quiet. "It is safe?" Ginny called from the gallery. "Are the scary guys and bug-thingies all gone?" "No," Santa said warily. "And the next wave is even bigger." "Great!" Ginny complained, tossing the useless nerf gun over the side. "And according to you, there's no one that can help us!" "I didn't say that," he countered, beckoning for her to come down the stairs and be near him for protection. "I just said there was no Easter Bunny." "No Superman either, apparently," she grumbled as she approached him, letting him put a huge arm around her possessively. He was, indeed, bigger than ever. She was practically child-sized next to him now. "So who the hell is there to help us?" "If help's arriving it had better get here soon," he said, taking her to the remains of her big glass bay windows and back door. The wind was howling as snow drove into the living room. What was left of it, anyway. Which was nothing. "It's now or never. Can you see them?" She peered into the darkness outside and a chill ran down her spine, hundreds of red and yellow glowing eyes could be seen in the darkness. And they seemed to be getting closer. "Do; do they see me?" she asked, swallowing nervously. "I'm sure they do," he said, grimacing. "Not going to take a chance and assume they don't. I'll do everything I can to protect you, of course." "Is; is that going to be enough?" She could hear the angry hisses and an evil chanting outside clearly now, getting closer with each moment. It pained Santa that he couldn't lie to her. "I don't know, Virginia." She sighed and smiled weakly. "Well, at least I know there's a Santa Claus now. And he gave me the night of my life before it all ended." He returned the smile, trying to feign a cheerfulness he didn't feel. "I don't;" Ginny faltered, trying to find the words. "I don't suppose that you'd; well; that you'd be willing to kiss me one last time? You know, before the end?" He turned to look down at her, his hands holding her arms with an unreal gentleness and a warmth in his eyes that comforted her even now. "Nothing would make me happier, Virginia." She smiled and closed her eyes. "Merry Christmas, Santa." "Merry Christmas, Virginia;" he said softly as he leaned down to kiss her. Then the night was filled with high-pitched shrieks, a noise that made her eyes snap open. She'd heard noises like that before, once a long time ago in grade school. It sounds like the hissing passage of meteors above, and getting closer. Or what she imagined artillery sounded like when it was incoming, like in all those war movies. Santa's head turned and an almost evil grin crept over his face as he listened. "That's more like it!" he declared, standing tall and pointing at the blackness of the night. "Watch the sky, Virginia;" She looked up and noticed glittering points of light, dozens of them, seeming to get closer. The hissing shriek was indeed their approach and they seemed to be aimed right at them. She felt Santa's hand squeeze on her shoulder, almost in excitement. His blue eyes were blazing ferociously. Finally, what looked like dozens of giant icicles, each larger and longer than a semi, lanced out of the night sky and slammed into the earth around her house, shaking it as they buried their tips in the frozen ground and came to a stop. Several impaled the intruders as they came in, while others kicked up a covering spray of snow as the enemy stopped and looked around in confusion. Then doors or portals opened on the sides of the titan icicles and tall, lithe beings began leaping out of them, wearing weird, form-fitting armor and carrying space-age guns and swords or axes. Their armor and long hair was a riot of colors that was reflected by the snow and ice. Wild, ululating war cries pierced the air. And a savage, bloody battle began on her property. "Who the hell are they?" Ginny almost yelled in astonishment as she watched. They moved with inhuman grace and speed, the ones not wearing helmets revealing long, beautiful facial features that were often frightening because of the wrath they displayed. The helmets were all tall and peaked, showing fearsome designs and glowing eyes. Weird runes pulsed and throbbed with light all over their armor. Guns hissed and shrieked while swords hummed as they slew. "My elves," Santa said, clearly pleased and also eager to fight but not willing to leave her side yet. "They got my call and converged on my position." "Those are elves?" she exclaimed in amazement. "Aren't they cutesy little toy-shop people?" "Cute myth, but no, not these ones," he replied, watching as several elves wearing bone-white armor with feminine features raced past, throwing themselves into a knot of the hulking bugs. They screamed and the masks of their wild-maned helmets gave off vibrations that shook Ginny's teeth in her head as it melted their foes' faces off. "No, a lot of my elves are warriors, meant to help me fight Krampus. They keep Christmas safe with me." "What the hell are they wearing?" she asked in disbelief. How could this weird night get any weirder? Santa sighed. "Truth? They've been spending way too much time playing Warhammer 40k and they; appropriated armor, weapons and tactics from the Eldar faction. They're space elves." "Wow. Gay;" she muttered, shaking her head. "Well, they're certainly earning their keep tonight." He nodded. "Been a long time since Krampus moved against us this hard. Apparently he got bored and was feeling uppity. That or he just forgot what a good thrashing felt like." Ginny watched as three elves, clad in scary black armor and wearing helmets that looked like peaked skulls, marched relentlessly forward, firing little rockets from elaborate launchers they carried in their hands and on suspensor harnesses. The rockets punctured the bugs' chitin shells and exploded inside them, sending shards of exoskeleton and stinking goo in every direction. Ginny squeaked and hid behind Santa as some of the nasty effluence landed right where she'd been standing only a moment before. Beams of super-heated plasma and tiny, shuriken-like projectiles hissed and whizzed by them, the remains of her lovely house now the center of a battleground while the winter storm raged on. Warriors in green armor, carrying weapons that looked like a horrifying hybrid of sword and chainsaw, tore into a knot of foes, slicing them to bloody ribbons. As savage as the battle had been earlier, when it had just been her and Santa, she suddenly appreciated its relative civility. "They need my help," Santa said finally, cracking his knuckles, his expression grim. "We have to finish this off or Christmas won't come on time." "I thought you said there was plenty of time." Ginny protested, frowning up at him. "There was," he admitted. "But in order to defeat Krampus' minions, I summoned every single quantum iteration of myself back to here to help me fight. No one is delivering presents anywhere at the moment. I can't change real-time if I'm here in my entirety." He turned and looked at her. "Hopefully we're keeping them busy enough that they don't worry about you. Stay against the wall and work the music, will you?" "Manning the music station," she said, nodding, focusing on giving herself a task. "Music for Santa and his homicidal elves to kill by. Got it;" She watched as Santa leapt through the shattered remains of her bay doors into the howling storm and crashed into a knot of foes, savaging them. She watched in disbelief for some time, trying to figure out how Santa could kill anyone. I mean, even serial murderers got presents in prison, didn't they? Maybe they didn't, she had no way of knowing and chalked up thinking about this to what could only be described as the weirdest night of her life. She squealed and dodged out of the way as a body came flying through the doors and landed next to her. She scrambled over to the entertainment center and stood in front of it, trying to figure out what the hell she should play. "Okay;" she breathed, trying to focus. "Mass slaughter music; mass slaughter music;" What constituted mass slaughter music? Death metal? Panic At The Disco? Teletubbies music? She had no playlists, so she began cycling through the radio, hoping to find anything that might suffice. Oldies; Christmas music; hip-hop; trance; disco; "Son of a fuck," she muttered. "This is harder than it looks." She finally came across a station playing 'Jailhouse Rock' and decided that was good enough, she was sick of looking. She winced, trying to ignore another splintering crash as a body came through her wall. She hugged herself but then felt her robe. She frowned as she looked down at it, realizing it had been thoroughly shredded in the fight earlier. Those shuriken-thingies had been cutting it real close. Ginny grumbled as she pulled it off and threw it away, standing there completely naked, it hadn't been keeping her warm in its current condition and she was thoroughly beyond giving a shit at this point about who saw her naked. They were all too damn busy tearing one another apart anyway. And that sort of pissed her off. She was buck-naked and no one seemed to care. She'd shaved her cunt for this? "And I thought my night sucked before," she sighed to no one in particular. "Not getting my cunt pounded had been my biggest complaint before this hack!" She never saw the menacing shadow that had slipped up behind her. Santa picked one of his foes up overhead and hurled him into a cluster of foes, bowling them all over. He then punched another man as he tried to run by, knocking him off his feet and into his back. A quick stamp on his solar plexus made sure he stopped moving. The huge man thrust his fist in the air and shouted loudly. "Clear!" he thundered, indicating no other enemies surrounded him. His elves responded in kind, many of them gathering in a tight ring about him, weapons facing out as they sought to protect him. Hundreds of bodies lay strewn across the landscape, some burning from plasma blasts, other shredded and blown apart by rockets or sliced into bloody jerky. The storm seemed to be abating, no longer a blizzard so much as a stiff wind and swirls of snow. "Sire, we detect no enemies in the immediate vicinity," one elf wearing blue armor with a tall, crested helmet announced, striding up and saluting by thumping his gauntleted fist over his heart. "This attack has been defeated." "Maybe," Santa said, looking around warily. "But that doesn't mean anything just yet. We have to secure the area, make sure Virginia is alright and then get back to” "Kringle!" "Damn," he muttered to himself. "I thought this was too easy." He made several complex gestures, sending his elves fanning out in a wide arc as he began trudging forward through the snow, heading toward where the voice had come from out of the night. The winds and squalls of snow continued to die down until there was an almost deafening silence, the moon shining brightly overhead and revealing the sheer carnage of the battle that had been waged, the snow and ice glittered with frozen blood. "Kringle!" snarled the inhuman voice angrily. "I'm coming, I'm coming!" Santa said loudly, scowling. "Don't get your panties in a bunch!" He stopped in a clearing on the other side of the house, glowering at who confronted him, the beast was not as tall as he was, nor as muscular, but horrifying in aspect. The backward-jointed, hairy legs ended in wicked hooves. The skin not covered in coarse black fur was almost as dark and criss-crossed with innumerable scars. The vascular chest was crowned with a strong neck and sitting atop it was a blasphemous head, a demonic goat's visage from which grew four evil, twisting horns. The red eyes blazed like wrathful coals and sharp teeth glistened wetly inside the hateful mouth. Krampus. And in one of his powerful, clawed hands, he held Virginia by the neck, who looked like a rag doll. "Hi, Santa;" she said weakly, looking very apologetic. Santa kept walking forward, clenching his fists. "By all means, Kringle, keep coming forward if you mean to slay the child." Krampus growled, starting to squeeze and causing Ginny to shudder in fear. Santa stopped dead in his tracks, his eyes narrowing. His elves had now cast a tight net around the scene, hemming in Krampus. One circle of warriors faced inward, pointing their weapons at the abomination while another behind them faced out, prepared for any further attacks. Santa didn't move. "Let the girl go, Krampus," he said levelly. "This doesn't concern her." "Oh, I beg to differ," said the beastman in an almost non-chalant tone. "It's always about the children, isn't it?" "Hey!" said Ginny angrily. "I am not a child, jerk! I'm twenty, Gurr!" "Oh, do stop talking, you're such an annoyance." Krampus said, giving her neck another warning squeeze. "Let the adults work this out." "There's nothing to work out, Krampus," Santa growled, his blue eyes flashing. "You'll let the girl go." "I think we both know that's not happening," intoned the vile intruder. "She is my victory over you, and you know it. Revenge is not only a dish best served cold but often. And not often enough for me." "About this cold revenge dish thing," Ginny said, squirming slightly. "Couldn't; couldn't I just find you a nice tin can to chew on instead?" "Shut up, girl!" Krampus said harshly while several elves could be heard to chuckle and even Santa smirked at her jest. "I hold your life in my hands, to dispose of as I please." His foul breath crackled in the cold night air. His touch was uncomfortably warm, almost hot and strangely kept her body from freezing in the winter night. His touch felt evil and her skin crawled in revulsion. His strength was terrifying. "It wasn't enough that I slaved in coal mines for you, giving you carbon lumps to deliver to naughty children," Krampus growled, glaring at Santa. "It wasn't enough that I found the worst of them and brought them to you in the night so you could lecture them." "Hey, nobody asked you or ordered you to do the coal thing, pal," Santa said angrily. "And the whole kidnapping kids thing was your idea. I decided to let you have some creative control and look what happened. When it didn't work out, you decided that beating naughty kids with reeds was the answer. You're damn right that wasn't good enough!" "Silence!" Krampus snarled loudly, stamping one of his clawed hooves and making the ground shake dangerously. "Your kind-hearted foolishness with these puny mortals changed nothing about their behavior! Your failure to recognize their inherent selfishness was why our efforts were doomed!" "These puny mortals?" Santa countered. "You used to be one of them, Pete, remember? You were a well-behaved boy once." "Shut up!" growled Krampus. "Well-behaved, but not good," Santa continued. "You followed the rules and wanted everyone to follow rules. You were a control freak. I brought you north to show you what kindness could do, but you hated the cheer and the happiness and you fled to the coal mines in Greenland, hiding in the dark where the light of Christmas couldn't touch you! And when making kids feel bad with coal didn't bring them into line, you started the whole whipping them with reeds thing. Good job there, Pete!" "I'm warning you, Kringle;" Krampus said dangerously. "Oh, he really gets your goat, doesn't he?" Ginny sneered, causing several elves to laugh loudly. Krampus now snarled furiously and lifted her into the air by her neck, causing her to cry out in pain. Santa watched warily, knowing better than to make a move. "We seem to have an impasse," Krampus said, an evil smile playing over his slavering mouth. "You cannot harm me, because you know I can slay the child, but I cannot as yet slay her because she is my bargaining chip. But my need to hurt you, old man, is so very strong." He lowered Ginny down until her feet were just touching the snow-covered ground. She frowned as she heard a wet slithering sound she could not identify. "And there are other ways to hurt you than slaying the poor dear, aren't there?" Ginny felt something slimy touch her leg and then start to crawl up it, wrapping around her smooth skin. She shuddered and squirmed in horror as she realized exactly what was happening. The snake-like appendage wound up her thigh and then behind her. She gasped as it slid between her ass cheeks and then underneath to her cunt. She felt the blunt head split her lips and then move upward again. "Don't do this, Krampus." Santa said, trying to figure out what to do without hurting Ginny. "And why not?" replied the qliphotic abomination. "Don't you have a present for me? Then I guess I'll have to give myself one." Krampus' organ continued to slither its way around her body, leaving a glistening trail on her skin. She stiffened and moaned as his appendage wrapped around her tits, squeezing them, the head pausing and teasing the nipples. "Hey, asshole, dinner and a movie first!" she spat angrily. Ginny was about to say something else when the large, grayish cockhead snaked up in front of her face and then plunged into her mouth, causing her to gag and go silent. Her eyes widened and she thrashed furiously, but to no avail. He was simply too strong. "Language, young lady." Krampus chided, still staring at Santa. "Hasn't Santa taught you anything?" "This isn't gonna end well for you, Pete." Santa said, his tone dire. "Christmas never does, Kringle," replied the demon, his cock sliding in and out of Ginny's mouth. "I'm just hoping to make the holiday every bit as awful and intolerable for you as it is for me. After all, misery loves company." He brought her body close to his head and his other hand reached over and stroked her cunt lips, which were glistening. He leered at his foe, knowing Santa was helpless to get closer. "Is she good down here?" Krampus said mockingly. "Nice and wet and tight for you? Was she the best one ever, in the endless list of good girls you have fucked?" Santa said nothing, just glaring at Krampus. His knuckles were white as he clenched his fists. "Sharing your toys is the spirit of Christmas, isn't it?" Krampus said evilly, finally pulling his cock out of her mouth. Ginny coughed and sputtered, tendrils of resinous spittle and worse trailing away from her lips. She glared at Krampus but was still immobilized. "Just get this over with and fuck me already, whip-cock," she spat. "You won't be my first egotistical disappointment, trust me." Krampus' eyes blazed red and his tongue sped around her naked form blindingly quickly while he released her from his clawed grip. The tongue wrapped and immobilized her arms, holding them out straight while still encircling her tits. It then snaked around her waist and legs, pinning those as well while his long cock, swaying about like a cobra, came to a stop in front of her swollen cunt lips. The head teased and tapped against the opening, causing her to moan and squirm. "As you wish, child;" The head forced itself through her lips, sliding deep inside her. Ginny cried out in a mixture of shock and indescribable pleasure. She felt the tip of his pointed tongue probe trailing around her nipples. The python-like length of his cock churned inside her cunt. The blinding light behind her eyes finally receded and she lifted her head, looking out into the night, feeling his tongue constricting around her neck. She could dimly see a huge being in red pants and black boots watching nearby, his powerful chest exposed. The startling blue eyes flashed in the darkness of the night. She could tell he wanted to rescue her but didn't dare come closer. She gasped and shuddered as Krampus' cock pushed still deeper inside her. She felt fuller than she had imagined possible, the slithering appendage stretching her wide. The sticky, squelching noises were hardly to be believed. "Ew, gross! Hentai noises!" she thought in revulsion. "Krampus;" Santa warned. His elves all pointed their weapons menacingly but he held up his hand, staying them. "The child is naughty," Krampus said, smiling through pointed teeth. "Very naughty. Such a sordid past." "Hey, back off, she was young and needed the money!" Santa snapped defensively. "That thing with the midget and the donkey was” "You're not helping here!" Ginny shouted, blushing furiously, even as Krampus violated her. "Wicked child," growled the vile demon, shoving his cock in and out of her, the peristaltic actions of its length causing her to writhe and squirm in his grip, her breath coming in ragged gasps. "Shameless. Even though I violate her, she finds a way to be concerned about how you perceive her. I find it; titillating." "Oh, do I make you horny?" she sneered, turning her head to smirk at him. "Couldn't tell, looking at that head of yours." "Silence!" Krampus hissed, spittle flying from his jaws, his eyes flashing angrily. "I hold your life and death in my hands." "How would I know?" she shot back. "Hope you're better with your hands than you are with your cock, Billy G." He plunged his cock deeper still inside her. She went rigid and cried out. "That all you got?" she rasped, trying not to faint as she felt popping inside her hips while he stetched her. "My brother got in deeper than that when we were little!" "Insolent!" Krampus snarled savagely, bouncing her up and down and he fucked her harder than ever, pulling on her arms and legs, stretching her joints til they creaked. She felt a deep, wet heat building inside her and in spite of the horror she consciously felt about the situation, even more dire was her need to cum. She felt her cunt squeezing around his cock. His snake-like tongue probed her ass and wriggled inside, further adding to her desperation. "Intholent bith, you will be punithed!" "What was that?" Santa asked, turning his head slightly and putting his hand to his ear. "I couldn't understand you, it's like you have a lisp or something." "Don't mock meef!" Krampus said angrily, his tongue whipping out of Ginny's ass, causing her to yelp suddenly. "I'll kill her, Kringle!" "Not before I cum, damn you!" Ginny panted, her body flushed and covered in sweat as she twisted and writhed in his grip. "Uh, so close, goddammit!" "Language!" Santa and Krampus both snapped at her. "Aw, c'mon!" she wailed. "You two are total pains in the ass! Do it, Billy! Show me what a bad boy you are!" Krampus glared at her and began fucking her harder than ever. "As you wish, child!" "Krampus!" Santa shouted, reaching out his hand in alarm. "Don't!" Krampus grinned evilly at Santa, his teeth clenching as he drew close to climax. His cock seemed to swell along its length, stretching her wider still. She threw her head back and gritted her teeth, straining as she was overwhelmed by sensation; Santa's fist slammed across Krampus' jaw with a powerful crack. The demonoid's eyes rolled into his head and he crumpled to the ground. Ginny wailed in frustration as his cock pulled out of her and retreated back to his body, like a wet, slimy Stanley tape measure. She collapsed to her hands and knees in the snow, panting and shaking, her eyes wide. Santa raced up and knelt next to her, his eyes shining with concern. "Fuck;" Ginny whispered, gasping for air. "Motherfucker;" She looked up at her rescuer now, her eyes flashing accusingly. "The hell? Couldn't you have let him make me cum first?" Santa paused. "What?" "I was so damn close!" she hissed, standing up and stamping her foot. "I was within half a second of the orgasm of my life and you had to choose that moment to intervene and play the hero! Don't expect a thank you card!" "Uh, Virginia," Santa said, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly, trying to figure out what to say. "If he had brought you to orgasm, it would have killed you. When Krampus climaxes, his appendage you were so attached to bursts into spikes, basically killing you from the inside while denying you your orgasm." She paused and then deflated. "Holy cobra dildos. What a bastard." Ginny then pointed a finger at her savior. "But you still owe me an orgasm, then, pal. You may have rescued me from certain death, but that doesn't mean I don't need relief." Santa looked really confused. "What, here? Now?" "Damn straight," she said firmly, suddenly remembering she was buck naked in a snow-storm. In spite of the no-doubt freezing weather, her body was still warm and very wet with need. She put her hand down her cunt and felt around for a moment before presenting her sticky palm and fingers to Santa for inspection. "Do I look satisfied to you? You've already fucked me, Screamo the Goat Boy just fucked me, who cares if your freaky gay elves watch us? I need satisfaction now and I already am aware that you can't say no." Santa sighed. "It's gotta be quick, Virginia. I'm really behind, now that I'm completely temporal in one location." "Whatever, just get me to the promised land, man." Ginny replied, shrugging. "Who knows, maybe your entourage might enjoy a show." "Oh, right, about that," Santa said, standing up tall and shouting loudly. "About; Face!" As a single unit, the elves all turned around smartly on their heels, still arranged in a protective ring around their liege and his companion, weapons ready as they scanned the darkness for trouble, their eyes glowing menacingly inside their helmets. Santa strode up to Ginny, towering over her and ignoring the prostrate form of the still-unconscious Krampus, snuffling nearby. She smiled up at him, somehow warmed by his presence, in spite of the icy night she should have frozen to death in already. He pulled her into his arms and kissed her deeply. She moaned into his mouth as she felt her already molten core getting even more heated in response to his touch. Tongues tangled and played as he took her ass cheeks in his hands and squeezed them, making her shiver. Ginny's hands fumbled with his large black belt until it fell away and then pulled down his red pants. He pulled her onto his powerful thighs, resting her on them. She hooked her legs behind his waist and began grinding her wet, eager cunt against his hardening cock, which swelled readily. Her head was almost spinning, she was so horny. "Hmm, give it to me, baby," she purred, feeling the head of his cock touch her cunt lips. "Make me cum hard and fast." She sighed loudly as he pulled her close, penetrating and sliding deep inside her. Ginny moaned shamelessly as Santa once again began to pump back and forth inside her. His huge cock stretched her cunt wide, but not in the violent, violating way Krampus did. This felt warm and utterly perfect. She nipped at the skin of his chest while he moved in and out of her. "Yes," Ginny breathed as he began to moved faster, pumping strongly and rhythmically. She could feel her wetness trickling down between her cheeks, her cunt clutching at him hungrily, greedily and unwilling to let go until it was somehow sated. "Oh, God, just what I needed. Yes, fuck me, Santa!" He gripped her tight and thrust into her, picking up his pace just the way she wanted. She was gasping and yelping now and he squeezed her cheeks, one of his fingers poking inside her puckered knot. She clenched her teeth and groaned at the intrusion, murmuring that she loved it. She grew warmer and warmer, her body tingling with an exquisite fire that rippled out from her core. Santa turned her around and set her feet on top of his boots, bending her forward and pulling on her arms. She cried out as he fucked her harder, his hips thumping against her ass cheeks. Her hands clenched wildly, her breath coming in gasps as his overwhelming strength dominated her. "Oh, God!" she panted, beginning to shudder uncontrollably, almost drooling. "Uh, cum in me, dammit! Fucking cum in me!" Santa pulled on her arms even tighter as his thighs slammed into her. Ginny strained, craning her neck, teeth clenched as she tried not to scream, but it was no use, she wailed loudly as he came inside her, filling her once again in a way she could not describe. Her orgasm shook every last atom of her being, transporting her to a world of nothing but pleasure, edged with mint. She buckled, hanging loosely in his arms, exhausted. She'd been fucked hard at least five times tonight and had a dreadful suspicion that this experience would only make her libido even more hyperactive. She sighed as Santa scooped her naked form into his arms and cuddled her against the cold. Ginny purred and traced a fingernail across his broad chest. "Thank you," she said quietly. "Just what the doctor ordered. That quenched the flames, for now." He finally put her down and she looked at the remains of her ruined chateau, which was completely leveled and now on fire. "Poor Oatmeal," she murmured. "Where am I going to live?" She scowled down at the still supine Krampus, anger flaring in her. "It's this jack wagon’s fault. You should totally napalm his face." Santa looked down at her in shock. "Did you just say I should jerk off in Krampus' face?" "Damn right, he'd deserve it too." Ginny announced. "That and shove your sleigh up his ass." "I am not jizzing in Krampus' face." Santa said, clearly repulsed by the suggestion. "Fine, leave a woman to do a man's job," Ginny said testily, striding over to Krampus and putting one leg on either side of his head. She stuck three fingers inside her cunt and managed to tease out considerable amounts of Santa's minty cum, which she smeared all over Krampus' face and into his fur with glee, even giving him a glistening white moustache. "Take that, asshole!" She looked like she might have been done desecrating the unconscious form, but then she paused and squatted over him, peeing on his body and face, the stream steaming in the cold night air. She grinned evilly as she thoroughly baptized him. "Teach you to mess with me." Ginny muttered as she walked back to Santa, nodding. The huge man had a wide smirk on his face and shook his head slowly. "I can't believe you just pissed all over Krampus," he said, hugging her to him. "However, you're going to freeze to death at this rate;" He held out his hand and one of his elves dutifully brought him a large, velvety red cloak, which he wrapped around her. She blushed and smiled gratefully at his consideration, but only until he slid it off her, revealing that she was now wearing some ridiculous 'Hot Christmas Elf' outfit, complete with striped stockings and high heels. She looked like a Yule whore. "Seriously?" she asked, unimpressed. "This is your solution to my naked issues?" He shrugged. "I liked you better naked, but you would freeze quickly." "Whatever," she sighed, looking down and appreciating the considerable lift it gave her cleavage. It was incredibly warm, in spite of how scant it was. "So now what? I still have no damn home, you and Goatse here blew it up with your little barnyard brawl." Santa looked around warily. "That might be the least of your worries. The wind's picking up again, which means that another assault is coming. We need to get out of here." "Sire!" said one of the armored elves, thumping his fist to his breastplate and bowing his head. "We will cover you. You must go while you still have a head-start and the dark one is unconscious." Santa nodded. "Yeah, he's not gonna be happy when he wakes up and he's really gonna want revenge on you, Virginia." She felt her mouth go dry at the notion of another battle and Krampus waking up to even the score. "So; now what?" Santa shrugged. "I'd say it's fairly obvious. I've still got to make my rounds before the night is over and I'm not leaving you here;" She gaped as he put his hands on her shoulders and looked down into her eyes. "Virginia, you're coming with me and you're going to help save Christmas." Chapter 3, Christmas Wishes "How the hell do you drive this thing?" Ginny called in a panic, her eyes wide as she held onto the reigns, twisting them wildly as she tried to steer. Up ahead of her, eight large reindeer squealed and thrashed their heads. The sleigh corkscrewed while it hurtled through the cold night air, the moon shining down on them. "Well, first of all, stop panicking," Santa replied as he stood on the back of the sleigh, atop his huge red sack of toys. He was more or less back to his original size she had become accustomed to, now that he had sent his other 'iterations' of himself out over the globe to deliver presents. "That would be an excellent start." "Easy for you to say," she snapped, scowling back at him for a moment since taking her eyes off her designated path seemed to make no difference to how she was doing at navigating. "You're used to doing this!" "Trust me, between the two of us, you're the one with the easy job right now and I'd be happy to trade," he called back as he ducked wildly. A comically large rocket thundered by, with an evil-looking man strapped to the bottom of it, swinging a weapon wildly to hit Santa. "Try to keep her steady!" "While dodging psychos on rockets, no problem!" she grumbled, trying to ignore the howling wind and roaring projectiles. "Have I mentioned Krampus is a gigantic asshole?" "Repeatedly," Santa answered, watching warily. The sky was threaded with jets of fire as their enemies kept coming about in ponderous, elliptical arcs and heading back towards them, intent on their destruction. They had only just pulled off from the smoldering remains of Ginny's country chateau when the assault began. Krampus was nowhere to be seen, but his minions were clearly determined to avenge him. "Maybe urinating on him wasn't such a good idea. He never did take humiliation well." Ginny squawked in alarm and ducked as a rocket streaked right at her. Santa jumped in the air, doing the splits to avoid the projectile and landing back on top of his present sack. Another tried to pull up alongside them but Santa grabbed the harness the man was wearing and wrenched the rocket off course, sending it speeding into one some distance away. Both rockets (and presumably their pilots) exploded in a violent orgy of noise and flashing lights. "Really hope people just think those are fireworks," Santa muttered as he looked glared balefully at yet another rocket considering approaching. "Fireworks right in the middle of the world's most spastic meteor shower. Sure, they'll buy that;" "Funny part is I can't tell if you're serious," Ginny said loudly. "If they don't believe that narrative, then they've gotta accept that Santa Claus was engaged in an epic air battle over their town with quantum men strapped to rockets." "Truth is often stranger than fiction," Santa agreed, nodding. "Fighting these jerks off is taking too much time!" "Well, don't you have anything in your back of tricks there?" Ginny asked. In spite of the sleigh being open, it seemed to have some weird form of climate control and she'd been getting rather warm. To that end she'd pulled down her top, exposing her tits to cool herself off. The breeze allowed through made her nipples tingle delightfully, but not enough to distract her from driving the sleigh. After all, she often drove ninety minutes to her job wearing a vibrating insert in her panties, so she knew for a fact she could orgasm and still control a vehicle. A wheeled one, at least. She wasn't so sure about a sleigh doing Mach Three at twenty thousand feet. "You mean a weapon?" Santa asked. "In the bag full of toys for kids?" "You gave me a nerf gun out of that bag and it turned out to be some sort of doomsday device, didn't it?" she pointed out. "Scary lightning bolts everywhere. I refuse to believe you don't have some other goodies in there." Santa shrugged and squatted down to look inside the bag, getting narrowly missed by another rocket that shot over his head. The pilot cursed and came around again, aiming directly at the chassis of the sleigh from the side. Ginny's eyes widened in fright as she saw him approach. She jerked the reins to one side and the sleigh tilted ninety degrees, presenting its wide, flat red underside. The rocket slammed into it and exploded. Whatever it was made of or whatever shielding was in place, Ginny only heard the detonation and felt a rumble, but there was no damage aside from that. "Ha!" Santa said, standing tall and holding an electric guitar in the air, its black body gleamed in the moonlight. He put the strap around his neck and took several seconds to tune it, ignoring the aerial mayhem that swirled around him. "The hell are you going to do with that?" Ginny asked, scowling as she looked behind to see what he was up to. "You said to find something, I found something," he said simply as he checked the pickups. "Now let's see what we can do here;" He took the pick in hand and strummed it across the strings, a screeching pulse of sound blared out from the instrument, heading in all directions. It struck several rockets nearby, which exploded brightly. Other were knocked off course, spiraling around crazily as they fought for control. Santa laughed loudly, apparently enjoying himself. "Quit laughing and kill, red man!" Ginny yelled, nonplussed by his amusement. "I want to survive the night and I've had several close calls with death already!" "I'm working on it, Virginia, patience." Santa chided, adjusting the tuners momentarily. "Near-death experiences make you cranky." "No shit, Sherlock," she grumbled as he blasted out another screeching wave of sound. "Do you plan to play anything or just keep shrieking out that one sound?" "As you wish," he said cheerfully, pleased to be doing as she asked. Making her happy was all he cared about. He began playing a heavy metal version of Wagner's 'Ride of the Valkyries', the pulsing walls of sound thundering out and striking every foe within hundreds of

Miracle On Route 34: Part 2 Virginia and Santa face extreme danger together. Based on a post by BiscuitHammer, in 3 parts. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. Someone attacked Santa with a wicked-looking spiked hand-axe, something out of a sci-fi movie. He batted the weapon aside and clapped his open hands across the man's ears, busting his brain. Before he dropped, Santa grabbed the corpse and swung it around in a wide arc, smashing it into the foes surrounding him and knocking them back. "Shit!" Ginny squealed as one of the targets landed near her. "It's like the fucking Matrix in here!" As he threw the corpse away, he paused very briefly and glanced at her. "Since you happen to be right there, how about a little mood music?" "What?" "I'm just saying some music would be nice if we're going to be doing this," he called. "You're next to the entertainment system, how about putting something on?" "You’re shitting me, right?" she almost complained, wincing as she heard something delicate-sounding and expensive smash behind her amidst the wild brawl. She stared at the multimedia system, flapping her arms in frustration as she tried to focus through the noise. This couldn't be happening. She clutched the sleeves of her plush robe for a moment, trying to concentrate on its soft, fuzzy texture and center herself. She'd almost forgotten the large nerf gun in her hands but ignored it now, fixing her gaze on the mp3 playlist. She pressed a button. "Silent night; Holy night;" Bing crooned through the room. "Not really what I had in mind!" Santa mentioned loudly as he rammed his knee into a man's chin. "Try again!" Ginny bit her lip and pressed the button again, this time rewarded with Gary Glitter singing 'Another Rock And Roll Christmas'. "Still not quite there," he said as he snapmared another foe. "Better, but not quite!" "Well I don't know!" she shouted in exasperation. "What kind of music do you put on while Santa kills things in your living room?" Santa turned sideways and thrust his foot out, kicking an intruder in the chest and sending him sprawling backwards, rolling head over heels until he thumped into the entertainment system, jolting it and skipping the player. "I am a bitch. How do you want me? From behind, or on my knees? I am a slut, please hold me down, I'll be your noise, This shit will fuck you up!" "Perfect!" he declared as he fought, swarmed once again by foes. "Seriously?" Ginny yelled. "Combichrist is Santa's fucking fighting groove?" "I'm trying to figure out why you have it on your playlist," Santa replied. "I don't remember you liking aggrotech!" "Why the hell do you of all people even know what it is?" she shot back, wincing as she watched another body sail into the opposite wall with a sickening crunch before dropping to the floor and leaving a huge, crumbling dent in the stone. 'This Shit Will Fuck You Up!' "I prefer the term 'Hellektro' myself," he added. "And I know all songs, silly. I remember when the Dayglo Abortions wrote that 'Hey Santa!' song back in the '80's, they didn't get presents for” "I didn't ask, why are you answering?" she hissed. "Kill! Kill!" All the while, the pounding rhythms of the music filled the room. "I am a bitch. How do you want me? From behind, or on my knees? I am a slut, please hold me down, I'll be your noise, This shit will fuck you up!" "Well, at least we know why it's on your playlist, anyway!" he mentioned as he broke someone's back over his knee. "Very funny, red man!" Ginny hissed, scowling. She ducked wildly as another assailant flew overhead and landed in the Jacuzzi, his neck slamming against the hard edge with a snap noise and then tilting at a strange angle, his eyes wide and unseeing. "Fucking hell," she muttered. "These guys eat too much red meat!" Santa smashed two heads together before punting a third man in the chest, sending him staggering back until he fell against the entertainment unit, right next to Ginny, his eyes spiraling in his head. She scowled down at him for a moment before smashing the pitcher of nog on his cranium and sending him to the floor. Every single intruder stopped and turned to look at her suddenly, their eyes narrowing and turning very yellow. "Eep;" Ginny said quietly, going pale. They all howled and lunged toward her, even as Santa fought to reach her first. She shrieked in fright. "Darn it, Ginny!" he shouted in what almost sounded like irritation. "I told you not to do anything!" "You said not to use the stupid nerf gun!" she shot back as she dodged wildly and began to run around, evading her pursuers. "I meant don't do anything to get yourself noticed!" he growled as he bulldogged one man's head into the floor. He sprang to his feet and grabbed another man by the back of the head, ramming his face into the stone wall, creating a small crater from which the body slumped only slowly and wetly. "How the hell did they not notice the mostly naked girl in the room?" she yelled, sprinting around the circumference of the room, being chased by yellow-eyed foes. "They're mostly quantum, they don't always perceive real-state things or beings until they're interacted with!" he answered. "They weren't looking for you until you announced yourself!" "Oh, you and your weird physics shit!" she groused, her robe coming more and more undone as she ran. One of her tits was exposed, bouncing annoyingly and the nipple hardening as a cold wind from the endless holes in her walls and windows blew into the room. "Now what?" "Well, since they know you're here, you might as well use the gun," he answered as he tackled a small knot of them who were looking to cut off her avenue of escape. "At least then you can defend yourself if you're careful!" "The fuck am I supposed to do?" she shouted angrily as she clutched the ridiculous, useless gun. "Nerf them to death? Hope I shoot one foam dart down a throat and hope the bastard chokes and dies?" "Didn't you just let me inside all of your orifices?" he pointed out as he spun low, sweeping one foe's feet from under him and then taking him by the ankles to slam him off the floor. "Trust me, Virginia!" "Dammit!" she spat, steeling her nerve, hoping her resolve was harder than her nipple currently was. Taking a deep breath, she stopped running and spun, pointing the gun and pulling the plastic trigger; She yelped in astonishment as coruscating arcs of lightning crackled and lashed out from the muzzle, enveloping several foes, who wailed in glowing agony before disappearing from view. "Jesus H Fucking Tesla!" she exclaimed in amazement as she gaped down at her toy. "Virginia, language!" Santa warned. She rolled her eyes and pointed at another man rushing her, pulling the trigger and watching him explode in a shower of scintillating particles. "This shit will fuck you up!" blared the speakers. The wall splintered next to Ginny and several terrifying creatures barged in, causing her to shriek in fright, they were easily Santa's size, vaguely humanoid but covered in a greyish, segmented carapace, with insectoid heads, evil-looking mandibles and huge claws at the end of four arms. They hissed as the lunged for her. "Fuck fuck fuck!" cried out as she began running. "Fucking hate motherfucking bugs!" She fired wildly behind herself without looking, managing to strike one of the new creatures but only slowing it down. Ginny raced for the stairs, stampeding up them only to find more of the yellow-eyed humanoids waiting for her. "Santa!" she cried out in terror. "Help!" He glanced her way and grimaced at her predicament. "Aw, hell;" With a strength born of the desperation to protect one of his precious children, he surged forward, shoulder-blocking his way through a knot of assailants, springing through the air with astonishing agility, alternately using the wall and railing of the stairs to get to the upper floor, twisting and executing a flying kick that downed a foe about to attack Ginny. "Good thing I wore my enhanced parkour boots tonight, eh?" he muttered as he glared at the foes crowding to get up the stairs or down the hallway at them. "I don't even know what that means." Ginny snapped, backing up warily as the horde coming for them grew in numbers. "If that's some sort of geek speak, then we, are you getting bigger?" "I guess I am," he replied, grimly, glaring at their foes. "I don't expect what I'm saying to make sense, but the other iterations of me, my other selves, they're all coming here, merging with me to help meet the threat." "You're; consolidating?" she asked in disbelief. "That's one way to look at it," he said, his blue eyes flashing. "It's gonna make finishing the Christmas run tight if I get held up here much longer." "Oh, terribly sorry if I'm inconveniencing you, your highness." Ginny said, trying to not sound too snide. He put his body between her and her foes, backing her up against the wall. "They can't come through the wall you're up against, it's the South wall," he said quietly but with a sense of urgency. "You're safe from that angle. You can fire your gun past me or over the rail at the guys down below. Since they're trying to reach you that means they've solidified enough that they can't do crazy things like jump seven meters up to reach you, they'll have to use the stairs." "I thought they were after you." Ginny said hotly. "They were, until you announced yourself with a jug of nog," he pointed out. "Now they want to destroy you to hurt me." "Oh. Sorry." Ginny mumbled somewhat sheepishly. "You can make it up to me later!" he said as he surged forward suddenly, bulling his way through the approaching crowd, clotheslining several at once. Shouts went up and the fight was on again. Santa punched, kicked, elbowed, kneed and wrenched his way through the enemy horde. Ginny swore he was indeed bigger than he had been earlier. His already hard body physique was almost bulging with muscles now, like a California beach bodybuilder. Black blood glistened on his flawless skin as he maimed the attackers. Droplets that hit the carpet sizzled and ate through it, burning the hardwood floor beneath. "No!" Ginny wailed in despair. "Not the hardwood! I loved that feature!" She glared and gritted her teeth as she leaned over the railing and pointed the nerf gun down at the endless crowd on the main floor, pulling the trigger. The crackling arcs of energy enveloped several foes, who wailed and vanished. Same as before, the giant insectoids rarely disappeared but seemed slowed or staggered by the attack. Santa fought his way forward, forcing the attackers back from Ginny. Try as they might, no one got by him, even if it meant that they could strike at him instead. He took their assaults resolutely, using his body as a shield to protect her. Before long, the floor of the hallway was littered with bodies, some barely stirring, others not moving at all. Still, the foes swarmed up the stairs. One of the bug-things swiped at him with its vicious claws and he ducked under the blow before kicking his boot into one of the reverse-jointed legs, snapping it. The bug screeched and tumbled and he leapt onto its back, grabbing hold of one of the large, wet-grey chitinous plates that armored its back and pulled, it tore away with a mushy crack and the beast's keened agony as it shuddered and thrashed. Without pausing, Santa whirled around and slammed the exoskeletal plate across several men's heads, dropping them. Ginny kept firing the nerf tesla gun, wondering what sort of sociopath would invent a deadly weapon that looked like a famous kid's toy. She pushed it from her mind, realizing that she wanted to live and didn't care at the moment about the social mores of the issue. Santa was using the huge chitin plate almost like a shield, driving his foes back with it to the stairs. It finally cracked in half and he punched through the mess, unwilling to give the enemy time to regroup. He spun one man around with a fist across the jaw before grabbing his arms from behind and ramming his knee into the man's back, lifting him off the floor and letting him slam his spine onto the stairs. Without waiting, Santa launched himself through the air, knee raised and smashed it into the face of a man on the stair's corner landing. The foe's head went back through the wall with a loud crunch and he hung there limply, no longer part of the battle. "Ack!" Ginny squawked as the nerf gun sputtered and let out several impotent flashes and then died. "Not now! No no no!" One foe had broken through the cordon and now raced toward her. She yelled loudly and smashed the butt of her nerf gun into his face, staggering him for a moment. She glared at him angrily, waiting for him to fall, but her didn't, so she kicked him in the crotch with her instep. He groaned and sunk to his knees, holding himself. Ginny was practically jumping up and down on top of him by the time he stopped moving. "Stay; the; fuck; down!" she shouted angrily as she turned his ribcage into powder. She failed to notice the one last foe who rushed up behind her. But then Santa was at her side and he delivered a devastating haymaker to the man's thorax. Stunned, the intruder staggered back against the railing. With a growl, Santa grabbed him by the face and ruthlessly bent his back over the railing before leaping over and slamming his elbow across the man's neck as he went down to the main floor. The lifeless form crumpled next to him as he looked around, glaring. No foes remained standing. Aside from the music, all was quiet. "It is safe?" Ginny called from the gallery. "Are the scary guys and bug-thingies all gone?" "No," Santa said warily. "And the next wave is even bigger." "Great!" Ginny complained, tossing the useless nerf gun over the side. "And according to you, there's no one that can help us!" "I didn't say that," he countered, beckoning for her to come down the stairs and be near him for protection. "I just said there was no Easter Bunny." "No Superman either, apparently," she grumbled as she approached him, letting him put a huge arm around her possessively. He was, indeed, bigger than ever. She was practically child-sized next to him now. "So who the hell is there to help us?" "If help's arriving it had better get here soon," he said, taking her to the remains of her big glass bay windows and back door. The wind was howling as snow drove into the living room. What was left of it, anyway. Which was nothing. "It's now or never. Can you see them?" She peered into the darkness outside and a chill ran down her spine, hundreds of red and yellow glowing eyes could be seen in the darkness. And they seemed to be getting closer. "Do; do they see me?" she asked, swallowing nervously. "I'm sure they do," he said, grimacing. "Not going to take a chance and assume they don't. I'll do everything I can to protect you, of course." "Is; is that going to be enough?" She could hear the angry hisses and an evil chanting outside clearly now, getting closer with each moment. It pained Santa that he couldn't lie to her. "I don't know, Virginia." She sighed and smiled weakly. "Well, at least I know there's a Santa Claus now. And he gave me the night of my life before it all ended." He returned the smile, trying to feign a cheerfulness he didn't feel. "I don't;" Ginny faltered, trying to find the words. "I don't suppose that you'd; well; that you'd be willing to kiss me one last time? You know, before the end?" He turned to look down at her, his hands holding her arms with an unreal gentleness and a warmth in his eyes that comforted her even now. "Nothing would make me happier, Virginia." She smiled and closed her eyes. "Merry Christmas, Santa." "Merry Christmas, Virginia;" he said softly as he leaned down to kiss her. Then the night was filled with high-pitched shrieks, a noise that made her eyes snap open. She'd heard noises like that before, once a long time ago in grade school. It sounds like the hissing passage of meteors above, and getting closer. Or what she imagined artillery sounded like when it was incoming, like in all those war movies. Santa's head turned and an almost evil grin crept over his face as he listened. "That's more like it!" he declared, standing tall and pointing at the blackness of the night. "Watch the sky, Virginia;" She looked up and noticed glittering points of light, dozens of them, seeming to get closer. The hissing shriek was indeed their approach and they seemed to be aimed right at them. She felt Santa's hand squeeze on her shoulder, almost in excitement. His blue eyes were blazing ferociously. Finally, what looked like dozens of giant icicles, each larger and longer than a semi, lanced out of the night sky and slammed into the earth around her house, shaking it as they buried their tips in the frozen ground and came to a stop. Several impaled the intruders as they came in, while others kicked up a covering spray of snow as the enemy stopped and looked around in confusion. Then doors or portals opened on the sides of the titan icicles and tall, lithe beings began leaping out of them, wearing weird, form-fitting armor and carrying space-age guns and swords or axes. Their armor and long hair was a riot of colors that was reflected by the snow and ice. Wild, ululating war cries pierced the air. And a savage, bloody battle began on her property. "Who the hell are they?" Ginny almost yelled in astonishment as she watched. They moved with inhuman grace and speed, the ones not wearing helmets revealing long, beautiful facial features that were often frightening because of the wrath they displayed. The helmets were all tall and peaked, showing fearsome designs and glowing eyes. Weird runes pulsed and throbbed with light all over their armor. Guns hissed and shrieked while swords hummed as they slew. "My elves," Santa said, clearly pleased and also eager to fight but not willing to leave her side yet. "They got my call and converged on my position." "Those are elves?" she exclaimed in amazement. "Aren't they cutesy little toy-shop people?" "Cute myth, but no, not these ones," he replied, watching as several elves wearing bone-white armor with feminine features raced past, throwing themselves into a knot of the hulking bugs. They screamed and the masks of their wild-maned helmets gave off vibrations that shook Ginny's teeth in her head as it melted their foes' faces off. "No, a lot of my elves are warriors, meant to help me fight Krampus. They keep Christmas safe with me." "What the hell are they wearing?" she asked in disbelief. How could this weird night get any weirder? Santa sighed. "Truth? They've been spending way too much time playing Warhammer 40k and they; appropriated armor, weapons and tactics from the Eldar faction. They're space elves." "Wow. Gay;" she muttered, shaking her head. "Well, they're certainly earning their keep tonight." He nodded. "Been a long time since Krampus moved against us this hard. Apparently he got bored and was feeling uppity. That or he just forgot what a good thrashing felt like." Ginny watched as three elves, clad in scary black armor and wearing helmets that looked like peaked skulls, marched relentlessly forward, firing little rockets from elaborate launchers they carried in their hands and on suspensor harnesses. The rockets punctured the bugs' chitin shells and exploded inside them, sending shards of exoskeleton and stinking goo in every direction. Ginny squeaked and hid behind Santa as some of the nasty effluence landed right where she'd been standing only a moment before. Beams of super-heated plasma and tiny, shuriken-like projectiles hissed and whizzed by them, the remains of her lovely house now the center of a battleground while the winter storm raged on. Warriors in green armor, carrying weapons that looked like a horrifying hybrid of sword and chainsaw, tore into a knot of foes, slicing them to bloody ribbons. As savage as the battle had been earlier, when it had just been her and Santa, she suddenly appreciated its relative civility. "They need my help," Santa said finally, cracking his knuckles, his expression grim. "We have to finish this off or Christmas won't come on time." "I thought you said there was plenty of time." Ginny protested, frowning up at him. "There was," he admitted. "But in order to defeat Krampus' minions, I summoned every single quantum iteration of myself back to here to help me fight. No one is delivering presents anywhere at the moment. I can't change real-time if I'm here in my entirety." He turned and looked at her. "Hopefully we're keeping them busy enough that they don't worry about you. Stay against the wall and work the music, will you?" "Manning the music station," she said, nodding, focusing on giving herself a task. "Music for Santa and his homicidal elves to kill by. Got it;" She watched as Santa leapt through the shattered remains of her bay doors into the howling storm and crashed into a knot of foes, savaging them. She watched in disbelief for some time, trying to figure out how Santa could kill anyone. I mean, even serial murderers got presents in prison, didn't they? Maybe they didn't, she had no way of knowing and chalked up thinking about this to what could only be described as the weirdest night of her life. She squealed and dodged out of the way as a body came flying through the doors and landed next to her. She scrambled over to the entertainment center and stood in front of it, trying to figure out what the hell she should play. "Okay;" she breathed, trying to focus. "Mass slaughter music; mass slaughter music;" What constituted mass slaughter music? Death metal? Panic At The Disco? Teletubbies music? She had no playlists, so she began cycling through the radio, hoping to find anything that might suffice. Oldies; Christmas music; hip-hop; trance; disco; "Son of a fuck," she muttered. "This is harder than it looks." She finally came across a station playing 'Jailhouse Rock' and decided that was good enough, she was sick of looking. She winced, trying to ignore another splintering crash as a body came through her wall. She hugged herself but then felt her robe. She frowned as she looked down at it, realizing it had been thoroughly shredded in the fight earlier. Those shuriken-thingies had been cutting it real close. Ginny grumbled as she pulled it off and threw it away, standing there completely naked, it hadn't been keeping her warm in its current condition and she was thoroughly beyond giving a shit at this point about who saw her naked. They were all too damn busy tearing one another apart anyway. And that sort of pissed her off. She was buck-naked and no one seemed to care. She'd shaved her cunt for this? "And I thought my night sucked before," she sighed to no one in particular. "Not getting my cunt pounded had been my biggest complaint before this hack!" She never saw the menacing shadow that had slipped up behind her. Santa picked one of his foes up overhead and hurled him into a cluster of foes, bowling them all over. He then punched another man as he tried to run by, knocking him off his feet and into his back. A quick stamp on his solar plexus made sure he stopped moving. The huge man thrust his fist in the air and shouted loudly. "Clear!" he thundered, indicating no other enemies surrounded him. His elves responded in kind, many of them gathering in a tight ring about him, weapons facing out as they sought to protect him. Hundreds of bodies lay strewn across the landscape, some burning from plasma blasts, other shredded and blown apart by rockets or sliced into bloody jerky. The storm seemed to be abating, no longer a blizzard so much as a stiff wind and swirls of snow. "Sire, we detect no enemies in the immediate vicinity," one elf wearing blue armor with a tall, crested helmet announced, striding up and saluting by thumping his gauntleted fist over his heart. "This attack has been defeated." "Maybe," Santa said, looking around warily. "But that doesn't mean anything just yet. We have to secure the area, make sure Virginia is alright and then get back to” "Kringle!" "Damn," he muttered to himself. "I thought this was too easy." He made several complex gestures, sending his elves fanning out in a wide arc as he began trudging forward through the snow, heading toward where the voice had come from out of the night. The winds and squalls of snow continued to die down until there was an almost deafening silence, the moon shining brightly overhead and revealing the sheer carnage of the battle that had been waged, the snow and ice glittered with frozen blood. "Kringle!" snarled the inhuman voice angrily. "I'm coming, I'm coming!" Santa said loudly, scowling. "Don't get your panties in a bunch!" He stopped in a clearing on the other side of the house, glowering at who confronted him, the beast was not as tall as he was, nor as muscular, but horrifying in aspect. The backward-jointed, hairy legs ended in wicked hooves. The skin not covered in coarse black fur was almost as dark and criss-crossed with innumerable scars. The vascular chest was crowned with a strong neck and sitting atop it was a blasphemous head, a demonic goat's visage from which grew four evil, twisting horns. The red eyes blazed like wrathful coals and sharp teeth glistened wetly inside the hateful mouth. Krampus. And in one of his powerful, clawed hands, he held Virginia by the neck, who looked like a rag doll. "Hi, Santa;" she said weakly, looking very apologetic. Santa kept walking forward, clenching his fists. "By all means, Kringle, keep coming forward if you mean to slay the child." Krampus growled, starting to squeeze and causing Ginny to shudder in fear. Santa stopped dead in his tracks, his eyes narrowing. His elves had now cast a tight net around the scene, hemming in Krampus. One circle of warriors faced inward, pointing their weapons at the abomination while another behind them faced out, prepared for any further attacks. Santa didn't move. "Let the girl go, Krampus," he said levelly. "This doesn't concern her." "Oh, I beg to differ," said the beastman in an almost non-chalant tone. "It's always about the children, isn't it?" "Hey!" said Ginny angrily. "I am not a child, jerk! I'm twenty, Gurr!" "Oh, do stop talking, you're such an annoyance." Krampus said, giving her neck another warning squeeze. "Let the adults work this out." "There's nothing to work out, Krampus," Santa growled, his blue eyes flashing. "You'll let the girl go." "I think we both know that's not happening," intoned the vile intruder. "She is my victory over you, and you know it. Revenge is not only a dish best served cold but often. And not often enough for me." "About this cold revenge dish thing," Ginny said, squirming slightly. "Couldn't; couldn't I just find you a nice tin can to chew on instead?" "Shut up, girl!" Krampus said harshly while several elves could be heard to chuckle and even Santa smirked at her jest. "I hold your life in my hands, to dispose of as I please." His foul breath crackled in the cold night air. His touch was uncomfortably warm, almost hot and strangely kept her body from freezing in the winter night. His touch felt evil and her skin crawled in revulsion. His strength was terrifying. "It wasn't enough that I slaved in coal mines for you, giving you carbon lumps to deliver to naughty children," Krampus growled, glaring at Santa. "It wasn't enough that I found the worst of them and brought them to you in the night so you could lecture them." "Hey, nobody asked you or ordered you to do the coal thing, pal," Santa said angrily. "And the whole kidnapping kids thing was your idea. I decided to let you have some creative control and look what happened. When it didn't work out, you decided that beating naughty kids with reeds was the answer. You're damn right that wasn't good enough!" "Silence!" Krampus snarled loudly, stamping one of his clawed hooves and making the ground shake dangerously. "Your kind-hearted foolishness with these puny mortals changed nothing about their behavior! Your failure to recognize their inherent selfishness was why our efforts were doomed!" "These puny mortals?" Santa countered. "You used to be one of them, Pete, remember? You were a well-behaved boy once." "Shut up!" growled Krampus. "Well-behaved, but not good," Santa continued. "You followed the rules and wanted everyone to follow rules. You were a control freak. I brought you north to show you what kindness could do, but you hated the cheer and the happiness and you fled to the coal mines in Greenland, hiding in the dark where the light of Christmas couldn't touch you! And when making kids feel bad with coal didn't bring them into line, you started the whole whipping them with reeds thing. Good job there, Pete!" "I'm warning you, Kringle;" Krampus said dangerously. "Oh, he really gets your goat, doesn't he?" Ginny sneered, causing several elves to laugh loudly. Krampus now snarled furiously and lifted her into the air by her neck, causing her to cry out in pain. Santa watched warily, knowing better than to make a move. "We seem to have an impasse," Krampus said, an evil smile playing over his slavering mouth. "You cannot harm me, because you know I can slay the child, but I cannot as yet slay her because she is my bargaining chip. But my need to hurt you, old man, is so very strong." He lowered Ginny down until her feet were just touching the snow-covered ground. She frowned as she heard a wet slithering sound she could not identify. "And there are other ways to hurt you than slaying the poor dear, aren't there?" Ginny felt something slimy touch her leg and then start to crawl up it, wrapping around her smooth skin. She shuddered and squirmed in horror as she realized exactly what was happening. The snake-like appendage wound up her thigh and then behind her. She gasped as it slid between her ass cheeks and then underneath to her cunt. She felt the blunt head split her lips and then move upward again. "Don't do this, Krampus." Santa said, trying to figure out what to do without hurting Ginny. "And why not?" replied the qliphotic abomination. "Don't you have a present for me? Then I guess I'll have to give myself one." Krampus' organ continued to slither its way around her body, leaving a glistening trail on her skin. She stiffened and moaned as his appendage wrapped around her tits, squeezing them, the head pausing and teasing the nipples. "Hey, asshole, dinner and a movie first!" she spat angrily. Ginny was about to say something else when the large, grayish cockhead snaked up in front of her face and then plunged into her mouth, causing her to gag and go silent. Her eyes widened and she thrashed furiously, but to no avail. He was simply too strong. "Language, young lady." Krampus chided, still staring at Santa. "Hasn't Santa taught you anything?" "This isn't gonna end well for you, Pete." Santa said, his tone dire. "Christmas never does, Kringle," replied the demon, his cock sliding in and out of Ginny's mouth. "I'm just hoping to make the holiday every bit as awful and intolerable for you as it is for me. After all, misery loves company." He brought her body close to his head and his other hand reached over and stroked her cunt lips, which were glistening. He leered at his foe, knowing Santa was helpless to get closer. "Is she good down here?" Krampus said mockingly. "Nice and wet and tight for you? Was she the best one ever, in the endless list of good girls you have fucked?" Santa said nothing, just glaring at Krampus. His knuckles were white as he clenched his fists. "Sharing your toys is the spirit of Christmas, isn't it?" Krampus said evilly, finally pulling his cock out of her mouth. Ginny coughed and sputtered, tendrils of resinous spittle and worse trailing away from her lips. She glared at Krampus but was still immobilized. "Just get this over with and fuck me already, whip-cock," she spat. "You won't be my first egotistical disappointment, trust me." Krampus' eyes blazed red and his tongue sped around her naked form blindingly quickly while he released her from his clawed grip. The tongue wrapped and immobilized her arms, holding them out straight while still encircling her tits. It then snaked around her waist and legs, pinning those as well while his long cock, swaying about like a cobra, came to a stop in front of her swollen cunt lips. The head teased and tapped against the opening, causing her to moan and squirm. "As you wish, child;" The head forced itself through her lips, sliding deep inside her. Ginny cried out in a mixture of shock and indescribable pleasure. She felt the tip of his pointed tongue probe trailing around her nipples. The python-like length of his cock churned inside her cunt. The blinding light behind her eyes finally receded and she lifted her head, looking out into the night, feeling his tongue constricting around her neck. She could dimly see a huge being in red pants and black boots watching nearby, his powerful chest exposed. The startling blue eyes flashed in the darkness of the night. She could tell he wanted to rescue her but didn't dare come closer. She gasped and shuddered as Krampus' cock pushed still deeper inside her. She felt fuller than she had imagined possible, the slithering appendage stretching her wide. The sticky, squelching noises were hardly to be believed. "Ew, gross! Hentai noises!" she thought in revulsion. "Krampus;" Santa warned. His elves all pointed their weapons menacingly but he held up his hand, staying them. "The child is naughty," Krampus said, smiling through pointed teeth. "Very naughty. Such a sordid past." "Hey, back off, she was young and needed the money!" Santa snapped defensively. "That thing with the midget and the donkey was” "You're not helping here!" Ginny shouted, blushing furiously, even as Krampus violated her. "Wicked child," growled the vile demon, shoving his cock in and out of her, the peristaltic actions of its length causing her to writhe and squirm in his grip, her breath coming in ragged gasps. "Shameless. Even though I violate her, she finds a way to be concerned about how you perceive her. I find it; titillating." "Oh, do I make you horny?" she sneered, turning her head to smirk at him. "Couldn't tell, looking at that head of yours." "Silence!" Krampus hissed, spittle flying from his jaws, his eyes flashing angrily. "I hold your life and death in my hands." "How would I know?" she shot back. "Hope you're better with your hands than you are with your cock, Billy G." He plunged his cock deeper still inside her. She went rigid and cried out. "That all you got?" she rasped, trying not to faint as she felt popping inside her hips while he stetched her. "My brother got in deeper than that when we were little!" "Insolent!" Krampus snarled savagely, bouncing her up and down and he fucked her harder than ever, pulling on her arms and legs, stretching her joints til they creaked. She felt a deep, wet heat building inside her and in spite of the horror she consciously felt about the situation, even more dire was her need to cum. She felt her cunt squeezing around his cock. His snake-like tongue probed her ass and wriggled inside, further adding to her desperation. "Intholent bith, you will be punithed!" "What was that?" Santa asked, turning his head slightly and putting his hand to his ear. "I couldn't understand you, it's like you have a lisp or something." "Don't mock meef!" Krampus said angrily, his tongue whipping out of Ginny's ass, causing her to yelp suddenly. "I'll kill her, Kringle!" "Not before I cum, damn you!" Ginny panted, her body flushed and covered in sweat as she twisted and writhed in his grip. "Uh, so close, goddammit!" "Language!" Santa and Krampus both snapped at her. "Aw, c'mon!" she wailed. "You two are total pains in the ass! Do it, Billy! Show me what a bad boy you are!" Krampus glared at her and began fucking her harder than ever. "As you wish, child!" "Krampus!" Santa shouted, reaching out his hand in alarm. "Don't!" Krampus grinned evilly at Santa, his teeth clenching as he drew close to climax. His cock seemed to swell along its length, stretching her wider still. She threw her head back and gritted her teeth, straining as she was overwhelmed by sensation; Santa's fist slammed across Krampus' jaw with a powerful crack. The demonoid's eyes rolled into his head and he crumpled to the ground. Ginny wailed in frustration as his cock pulled out of her and retreated back to his body, like a wet, slimy Stanley tape measure. She collapsed to her hands and knees in the snow, panting and shaking, her eyes wide. Santa raced up and knelt next to her, his eyes shining with concern. "Fuck;" Ginny whispered, gasping for air. "Motherfucker;" She looked up at her rescuer now, her eyes flashing accusingly. "The hell? Couldn't you have let him make me cum first?" Santa paused. "What?" "I was so damn close!" she hissed, standing up and stamping her foot. "I was within half a second of the orgasm of my life and you had to choose that moment to intervene and play the hero! Don't expect a thank you card!" "Uh, Virginia," Santa said, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly, trying to figure out what to say. "If he had brought you to orgasm, it would have killed you. When Krampus climaxes, his appendage you were so attached to bursts into spikes, basically killing you from the inside while denying you your orgasm." She paused and then deflated. "Holy cobra dildos. What a bastard." Ginny then pointed a finger at her savior. "But you still owe me an orgasm, then, pal. You may have rescued me from certain death, but that doesn't mean I don't need relief." Santa looked really confused. "What, here? Now?" "Damn straight," she said firmly, suddenly remembering she was buck naked in a snow-storm. In spite of the no-doubt freezing weather, her body was still warm and very wet with need. She put her hand down her cunt and felt around for a moment before presenting her sticky palm and fingers to Santa for inspection. "Do I look satisfied to you? You've already fucked me, Screamo the Goat Boy just fucked me, who cares if your freaky gay elves watch us? I need satisfaction now and I already am aware that you can't say no." Santa sighed. "It's gotta be quick, Virginia. I'm really behind, now that I'm completely temporal in one location." "Whatever, just get me to the promised land, man." Ginny replied, shrugging. "Who knows, maybe your entourage might enjoy a show." "Oh, right, about that," Santa said, standing up tall and shouting loudly. "About; Face!" As a single unit, the elves all turned around smartly on their heels, still arranged in a protective ring around their liege and his companion, weapons ready as they scanned the darkness for trouble, their eyes glowing menacingly inside their helmets. Santa strode up to Ginny, towering over her and ignoring the prostrate form of the still-unconscious Krampus, snuffling nearby. She smiled up at him, somehow warmed by his presence, in spite of the icy night she should have frozen to death in already. He pulled her into his arms and kissed her deeply. She moaned into his mouth as she felt her already molten core getting even more heated in response to his touch. Tongues tangled and played as he took her ass cheeks in his hands and squeezed them, making her shiver. Ginny's hands fumbled with his large black belt until it fell away and then pulled down his red pants. He pulled her onto his powerful thighs, resting her on them. She hooked her legs behind his waist and began grinding her wet, eager cunt against his hardening cock, which swelled readily. Her head was almost spinning, she was so horny. "Hmm, give it to me, baby," she purred, feeling the head of his cock touch her cunt lips. "Make me cum hard and fast." She sighed loudly as he pulled her close, penetrating and sliding deep inside her. Ginny moaned shamelessly as Santa once again began to pump back and forth inside her. His huge cock stretched her cunt wide, but not in the violent, violating way Krampus did. This felt warm and utterly perfect. She nipped at the skin of his chest while he moved in and out of her. "Yes," Ginny breathed as he began to moved faster, pumping strongly and rhythmically. She could feel her wetness trickling down between her cheeks, her cunt clutching at him hungrily, greedily and unwilling to let go until it was somehow sated. "Oh, God, just what I needed. Yes, fuck me, Santa!" He gripped her tight and thrust into her, picking up his pace just the way she wanted. She was gasping and yelping now and he squeezed her cheeks, one of his fingers poking inside her puckered knot. She clenched her teeth and groaned at the intrusion, murmuring that she loved it. She grew warmer and warmer, her body tingling with an exquisite fire that rippled out from her core. Santa turned her around and set her feet on top of his boots, bending her forward and pulling on her arms. She cried out as he fucked her harder, his hips thumping against her ass cheeks. Her hands clenched wildly, her breath coming in gasps as his overwhelming strength dominated her. "Oh, God!" she panted, beginning to shudder uncontrollably, almost drooling. "Uh, cum in me, dammit! Fucking cum in me!" Santa pulled on her arms even tighter as his thighs slammed into her. Ginny strained, craning her neck, teeth clenched as she tried not to scream, but it was no use, she wailed loudly as he came inside her, filling her once again in a way she could not describe. Her orgasm shook every last atom of her being, transporting her to a world of nothing but pleasure, edged with mint. She buckled, hanging loosely in his arms, exhausted. She'd been fucked hard at least five times tonight and had a dreadful suspicion that this experience would only make her libido even more hyperactive. She sighed as Santa scooped her naked form into his arms and cuddled her against the cold. Ginny purred and traced a fingernail across his broad chest. "Thank you," she said quietly. "Just what the doctor ordered. That quenched the flames, for now." He finally put her down and she looked at the remains of her ruined chateau, which was completely leveled and now on fire. "Poor Oatmeal," she murmured. "Where am I going to live?" She scowled down at the still supine Krampus, anger flaring in her. "It's this jack wagon’s fault. You should totally napalm his face." Santa looked down at her in shock. "Did you just say I should jerk off in Krampus' face?" "Damn right, he'd deserve it too." Ginny announced. "That and shove your sleigh up his ass." "I am not jizzing in Krampus' face." Santa said, clearly repulsed by the suggestion. "Fine, leave a woman to do a man's job," Ginny said testily, striding over to Krampus and putting one leg on either side of his head. She stuck three fingers inside her cunt and managed to tease out considerable amounts of Santa's minty cum, which she smeared all over Krampus' face and into his fur with glee, even giving him a glistening white moustache. "Take that, asshole!" She looked like she might have been done desecrating the unconscious form, but then she paused and squatted over him, peeing on his body and face, the stream steaming in the cold night air. She grinned evilly as she thoroughly baptized him. "Teach you to mess with me." Ginny muttered as she walked back to Santa, nodding. The huge man had a wide smirk on his face and shook his head slowly. "I can't believe you just pissed all over Krampus," he said, hugging her to him. "However, you're going to freeze to death at this rate;" He held out his hand and one of his elves dutifully brought him a large, velvety red cloak, which he wrapped around her. She blushed and smiled gratefully at his consideration, but only until he slid it off her, revealing that she was now wearing some ridiculous 'Hot Christmas Elf' outfit, complete with striped stockings and high heels. She looked like a Yule whore. "Seriously?" she asked, unimpressed. "This is your solution to my naked issues?" He shrugged. "I liked you better naked, but you would freeze quickly." "Whatever," she sighed, looking down and appreciating the considerable lift it gave her cleavage. It was incredibly warm, in spite of how scant it was. "So now what? I still have no damn home, you and Goatse here blew it up with your little barnyard brawl." Santa looked around warily. "That might be the least of your worries. The wind's picking up again, which means that another assault is coming. We need to get out of here." "Sire!" said one of the armored elves, thumping his fist to his breastplate and bowing his head. "We will cover you. You must go while you still have a head-start and the dark one is unconscious." Santa nodded. "Yeah, he's not gonna be happy when he wakes up and he's really gonna want revenge on you, Virginia." She felt her mouth go dry at the notion of another battle and Krampus waking up to even the score. "So; now what?" Santa shrugged. "I'd say it's fairly obvious. I've still got to make my rounds before the night is over and I'm not leaving you here;" She gaped as he put his hands on her shoulders and looked down into her eyes. "Virginia, you're coming with me and you're going to help save Christmas." Chapter 3, Christmas Wishes "How the hell do you drive this thing?" Ginny called in a panic, her eyes wide as she held onto the reigns, twisting them wildly as she tried to steer. Up ahead of her, eight large reindeer squealed and thrashed their heads. The sleigh corkscrewed while it hurtled through the cold night air, the moon shining down on them. "Well, first of all, stop panicking," Santa replied as he stood on the back of the sleigh, atop his huge red sack of toys. He was more or less back to his original size she had become accustomed to, now that he had sent his other 'iterations' of himself out over the globe to deliver presents. "That would be an excellent start." "Easy for you to say," she snapped, scowling back at him for a moment since taking her eyes off her designated path seemed to make no difference to how she was doing at navigating. "You're used to doing this!" "Trust me, between the two of us, you're the one with the easy job right now and I'd be happy to trade," he called back as he ducked wildly. A comically large rocket thundered by, with an evil-looking man strapped to the bottom of it, swinging a weapon wildly to hit Santa. "Try to keep her steady!" "While dodging psychos on rockets, no problem!" she grumbled, trying to ignore the howling wind and roaring projectiles. "Have I mentioned Krampus is a gigantic asshole?" "Repeatedly," Santa answered, watching warily. The sky was threaded with jets of fire as their enemies kept coming about in ponderous, elliptical arcs and heading back towards them, intent on their destruction. They had only just pulled off from the smoldering remains of Ginny's country chateau when the assault began. Krampus was nowhere to be seen, but his minions were clearly determined to avenge him. "Maybe urinating on him wasn't such a good idea. He never did take humiliation well." Ginny squawked in alarm and ducked as a rocket streaked right at her. Santa jumped in the air, doing the splits to avoid the projectile and landing back on top of his present sack. Another tried to pull up alongside them but Santa grabbed the harness the man was wearing and wrenched the rocket off course, sending it speeding into one some distance away. Both rockets (and presumably their pilots) exploded in a violent orgy of noise and flashing lights. "Really hope people just think those are fireworks," Santa muttered as he looked glared balefully at yet another rocket considering approaching. "Fireworks right in the middle of the world's most spastic meteor shower. Sure, they'll buy that;" "Funny part is I can't tell if you're serious," Ginny said loudly. "If they don't believe that narrative, then they've gotta accept that Santa Claus was engaged in an epic air battle over their town with quantum men strapped to rockets." "Truth is often stranger than fiction," Santa agreed, nodding. "Fighting these jerks off is taking too much time!" "Well, don't you have anything in your back of tricks there?" Ginny asked. In spite of the sleigh being open, it seemed to have some weird form of climate control and she'd been getting rather warm. To that end she'd pulled down her top, exposing her tits to cool herself off. The breeze allowed through made her nipples tingle delightfully, but not enough to distract her from driving the sleigh. After all, she often drove ninety minutes to her job wearing a vibrating insert in her panties, so she knew for a fact she could orgasm and still control a vehicle. A wheeled one, at least. She wasn't so sure about a sleigh doing Mach Three at twenty thousand feet. "You mean a weapon?" Santa asked. "In the bag full of toys for kids?" "You gave me a nerf gun out of that bag and it turned out to be some sort of doomsday device, didn't it?" she pointed out. "Scary lightning bolts everywhere. I refuse to believe you don't have some other goodies in there." Santa shrugged and squatted down to look inside the bag, getting narrowly missed by another rocket that shot over his head. The pilot cursed and came around again, aiming directly at the chassis of the sleigh from the side. Ginny's eyes widened in fright as she saw him approach. She jerked the reins to one side and the sleigh tilted ninety degrees, presenting its wide, flat red underside. The rocket slammed into it and exploded. Whatever it was made of or whatever shielding was in place, Ginny only heard the detonation and felt a rumble, but there was no damage aside from that. "Ha!" Santa said, standing tall and holding an electric guitar in the air, its black body gleamed in the moonlight. He put the strap around his neck and took several seconds to tune it, ignoring the aerial mayhem that swirled around him. "The hell are you going to do with that?" Ginny asked, scowling as she looked behind to see what he was up to. "You said to find something, I found something," he said simply as he checked the pickups. "Now let's see what we can do here;" He took the pick in hand and strummed it across the strings, a screeching pulse of sound blared out from the instrument, heading in all directions. It struck several rockets nearby, which exploded brightly. Other were knocked off course, spiraling around crazily as they fought for control. Santa laughed loudly, apparently enjoying himself. "Quit laughing and kill, red man!" Ginny yelled, nonplussed by his amusement. "I want to survive the night and I've had several close calls with death already!" "I'm working on it, Virginia, patience." Santa chided, adjusting the tuners momentarily. "Near-death experiences make you cranky." "No shit, Sherlock," she grumbled as he blasted out another screeching wave of sound. "Do you plan to play anything or just keep shrieking out that one sound?" "As you wish," he said cheerfully, pleased to be doing as she asked. Making her happy was all he cared about. He began playing a heavy metal version of Wagner's 'Ride of the Valkyries', the pulsing walls of sound thundering out and striking every foe within hundreds of

We are broadcasting live for KALW's December membership campaign. Today, we revisit the Valkyries first season and talk about some of our favorite music of the year. 

WNBA All-Star Kayla Thornton joins The Jim on Base Show to talk hoops, leadership, and what it's like helping build the Golden State Valkyries from the ground up as the WNBA's newest franchise!It was a really fun chat getting to know of the Bay Area's newest stars!Follow Kayla on Instagram: @k_thornton6 Subscribe & stay connected: 

-We serve up a post-Thanksgiving casserole of screaming toddlers in adult female bodies. It's like a TikTok version of Ride of the Valkyries. -How to spot Histrionic Personality Disorder, a "Cluster B Basics" lesson. We look at the fraternal twin to Borderline Personality Disorder. It's very dramatic AND YOU'RE GOING TO LOVE IT. -Anorexia is back, baby, and this time, it's got a new brand name and a pharmaceutical assist. If Karen Carpenter were alive today she'd be feted and celebrated for reaching her goal weight of 80 pounds. Come look at today's stars as they semaglutide their way to an early grave while we all look on and smile. Did you like the show? Throw us some cash support! https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted... - Disaffected is sponsored by purveyors of the finest cured meats. Visit biltongusa.com and use promo code JOSH to get 10 percent off your order. - Slocum Consulting: You can book an hour with Josh on video to talk about troubled relationships, political clashes at work, and more. If you're looking for someone who won't call your concerns "crazy," Josh is the guy you want. Book at https://www.joshuaslocum.netSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Greg Jenner is joined in medieval Scandinavia by historian Dr Eleanor Barraclough and comedian Chloe Petts to learn about the fascinating women of the Viking age.The popular stereotype of the Vikings is pretty macho: bearded men on boats, heading out to raid, pillage and burn down monasteries. There are some famous images of Viking warrior women: shieldmaidens, Valkyries and various goddesses. But what about the lives led by ordinary women in medieval Scandinavia and across the Viking world?In this episode we look at the real history behind the myths and stereotypes, exploring daily life for Viking women: their roles as wives and mothers, the work they did as weavers and healers, the gods they prayed to, the archaeological traces they left behind, as well as the sad reality that many women in the Viking world were enslaved. We also look at women who lived lives out of the ordinary – as queens, sorceresses, and warriors.This is a radio edit of the original podcast episode. For the full-length version, please look further back in the feed.Hosted by: Greg Jenner Research by: Clara Chamberlain Written by: Clara Chamberlain, Emmie Rose Price-Goodfellow, Emma Nagouse, and Greg Jenner Produced by: Emmie Rose Price-Goodfellow and Greg Jenner Audio Producer: Steve Hankey Production Coordinator: Gill Huggett Senior Producer: Emma Nagouse Executive Editor: Philip Sellars

LEGO Horizon Adventures is the headliner on a set of FIVE Essential games for December. I also tell my tale of Valkyrie woe, and sheer exhaltation, in God of War.MY NEW YOUTUBE CHANNEL:https://www.youtube.com/@PlayStationDailyPodcastJOIN THE DISCORD and talk PlayStation with the PSD+ community:https://discord.gg/pEDZDp4kTGFOLLOW ME ON TWITCH and watch me record the show LIVE:https://www.twitch.tv/psdailypod/FOLLOW ME ON BLUESKY at psdailypod:https://bsky.app/profile/psdailypod.bsky.socialFOLLOW ME ON TIKTOK at ps.daily.pod:https://www.tiktok.com/@ps.daily.podIntro and Outro music is "The Concord Crew" by Daniel Pemberton from the Concord soundtrack.

In this episode of the No Sediment Wine Podcast, I sit down with Sietze Wijma, a wine educator specializing in flavor chemistry, to discuss wine faults - how common they are, how to spot them, and the fine line between a true fault and a harmless flaw. We discuss why professionals notice different things than consumers, what causes wines to go “off” in the vineyard versus the winery, and why faulty bottles still happen even when prevention is possible. Be sure to check out Sietze's website https://artoftasting.nl/ and follow him on Instagram @artoftasting!Thank you @67pallmall1 for providing their amazing premises at London for filming this video!You can also listen to the No Sediment Wine Podcast episodes on Spotify, Apple Podcast, Amazon Music, Google Podcasts and Castbox.Some of the WINE ACCESSORIES I use regularly:

This week on the War Council we talk the week 11 battles, the week 12 pick em and some NFL News

This season review we talked about the improbable and downright historical season of the Golden State Valkyries. As a reporter for the team, Kenzo gives an inside and outside perspective on the team and why they were able to make the run they did + outlooks for the future https://linktr.ee/pullup3 | Distributed via SteadyHype Studios

In this week's episode, Dan and Mags are joined by Carolyne Larrington and Cat Jarman. Two beacons in their own fields within Norse mythology and history, who are here to regale us with the legends of the Valkyrie.------------------------------------------------Follow Cat on Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/catjarmanFollow Margrethe on Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/arkeomagsFollow the Podcast on Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/nordicmythologypodcastIf you like what we do, and would like to be in the audience for live streams of new episodes to ask questions, please consider supporting us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/NordicMythologypodcastCheck out Dan's company, Horns of Odin, and the wide range of handmade items inspired by Nordic Mythology and the Viking Age. Visit: https://www.hornsofodin.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Joining me in this episode is shamanic practitioner and osteopath Cissi Williams, who began channeling wisdom from her physical heart after her own heart attack. Cissi shares how her actual heart became a powerful portal for healing after her heart attack. A deeply transformative journey that led to a sacred relationship with the divine feminine and ancient wisdom and the writing of her latest book: “Your Heart Knows How to Heal You: The Sacred Medicine of the Found Chambers of the Heart.”  In this episode:-       How her shamanic practice awakened communication with her physical heart after Cissi experienced a real heart attack at age 51. -       How her heart connected Cissi to ancient wisdom buried deeply within its four chambers. -       How Cissi discovered the ancient wisdom of spirit animal guides and the Goddess archetypes: Persephone, Inanna, Mary Magdalene, the Valkyries, Freya, Hecate, and Cerridwen from journeying to her heart's chambers. -       Learn how you can discover the healing medicine found in your heart's four chambers through shamanic wisdom and guided journey practices.ABOUT: Cissi Williams is an osteopath, naturopath, NLP trainer, and master practitioner in hypnosis. A teacher of shamanic energy medicine and Seidr Magic, she is also initiated as a Priestess of Freyja. Cissi founded the Nordic Light Academy of Energy Medicine and the Awaken Your Inner Wisdom Podcast. She lives in the Cotswolds, England.LINKS:https://www.cissiwilliams.com/hearthttps://nordiclight.academyhttps://www.instagram.com/cissiwilliams/ Thank you so much for listening, and thanks to my sponsors.This Episode is brought to you by:  • The Sattva Collection - 10% off with code TheConsciousDiva • Birds & Beans Organic Coffee - 10% off with DIVA2025The Conscious Diva Podcast wouldn't be possible without your support! A massive THANK YOU for listening. If you'd like to further support my podcast, you can: • SUBSCRIBE in your favorite podcast player or YouTube. • FOLLOW me @The_Conscious_Diva on Instagram.  • BOOK a session with Tatyanna. • SIGN-UP to receive emails a www.tatyannawright.com

Launch all Valkyries! In this week's episode of Mutagen Men we climb aboard the SDF-1 to face down the Zentraedi and the other marauding aliens facing the world of Robotech, which featured a mashup of three different classic mecha anime TV series. Airing in the 1980s and later on Toonami in the 90s, the show was a gateway into the wider world of mech anime and featured a landmark toyline from Matchbox as well as a host of merchandise produced by other companies in the years following. Join us as we explore the varied corners of these lines and try not to talk too much about Harmony Gold!  Follow along:  https://www.toyarchive.com/Robotech/main.html  https://web.archive.org/web/20070117220527/http://www.robotechmuseum.com/toyindex.html  https://www.flickr.com/photos/evil_king_macrocranios/albums/72157632938993771/ 

In this episode of the No Sediment Wine Podcast, I sit down with Pauline Vicard, CEO and Co-Founder of ARENI Global, to explore the future of wine education and the skills the industry truly needs. We talk about what inspired Pauline to write a white paper on wine education, the balance between knowledge and practical skills, and why some areas of the wine world struggle to adapt. Pauline also shares her thoughts on how curriculums could evolve, what skills will matter most in the coming years, and whether professionals are giving consumers the information they actually want.Be sure to check out the great work Pauline Vicard and  @areniglobal868  are doing by visiting their website https://areni.global. Thank you  @67pallmall1  for providing their amazing premises at London for filming this video!You can also listen to the No Sediment Wine Podcast episodes on Spotify, Apple Podcast, Amazon Music, Google Podcasts and Castbox.Some of the WINE ACCESSORIES I use regularly:

Send us a textMusic attribution at bottom of transcriptThat was a portion of ride of the Valkyries by Richard Wagner - and if you're old enough, like me, you might remember hearing that from cartoons - especially porky pig dressed in a hunting outfit and singing kill the wabbit , kill the wabbit about Bugs Bunny - but I digress This is the first episode where I would like to explore the world of Richard Wagner.   The reason I say that this is the first episode, is that the more I delved into the life of Richard Wagner, I began to realize that there is no way that I could even begin to cover his life in one episode. Oh certainly I will have some more episodes later on as appropriate regarding the lives of Beethoven and Bach, but I wanted to have at least two episodes about Richard Wagner together - one after another - so stay with me as we look into the life of this unique composer.Support the showThank you for experiencing Celebrate Creativity.

Gone Medieval is embarking on an epic journey through Norse Mythology; from the first creation myth to Ragnarok, Matt Lewis and Dr. Eleanor Janega are joined by our Viking king for immersive storytelling, cinematic sound design, expert interviews, and thrilling discoveries about Odin and his magical offspring, Asgard, Valhalla, and more. So if you think you can outdrink Thor and outwit Loki join us!Today, we ask; where do Vikings go when they die? Eleanor is joined by Carolyne Larrington to explore the role of Valkyries, the armed women who descended from the clouds, the realms of Thor and Freja and medieval stone carvings depicting divine beings and trolls, weaving together historical realities with tales of cosmic creation and epic battles.MOREMedieval BurialsTreasures from Anglo-Saxon GravesGone Medieval is presented by Dr. Eleanor Janega, King Gilfi is played by Eric Nolan. Audio editor is Amy Haddow, the producer is Joseph Knight. The senior producer is Anne-Marie Luff.All music used is courtesy of Epidemic Sounds.Gone Medieval is a History Hit podcast.Sign up to History Hit for hundreds of hours of original documentaries, with a new release every week and ad-free podcasts. Sign up at https://www.historyhit.com/subscribe. You can take part in our listener survey here: https://insights.historyhit.com/history-hit-podcast-always-on Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Golden State Valkyries created a movement bigger than themselves. Today, we'll hear about the "Violet Wave" on the Finale of Bounce: The Valkyries' 1st Season in the Bay. 

In Part 2, we pick up where we left off in Part 1. To get us caught up to what Lisa is doing these days, we go back to her arrival in The Bay. Her work at the prop shop led to some other jobs, but competition was fierce and she sought a way to integrate art into the labor she undertook. She found it when the production of James and the Giant Peach hired her to do puppet fabrication. The work took place in a warehouse in South of Market and it wasn't quite as glamorous as people think. In fact, it was grueling, but rewarding. Her boss on that job was a woman named Kat. That was 30 years ago, and the two are good friends today. In fact, Kat is shooting a documentary about Lisa's incredible life called Made of Iron. More on that below. Lisa wanted to stick with animation, but was never able to get an art director job. She considered moving to LA, but shut that down pretty quickly. And so she decided to learn a trade—something her dad did back in the day. She went to a job fair and asked what the hardest trade represented there that day was. Lisa's trade became ironwork. Her introduction to the folks who did ironwork was a little rough. She was required to visit job sites and get an ironworker to sponsor her. It took her six months to get hired. She met a guy named Danny Prince who helped her get work in The City making precasts (think parking garages). She'd work during the week and go to classes for ironworking on Saturdays. Ironwork has, quite possibly since its inception, been very much a “man's” world. Lisa ran head-first into bigotry, prejudice, and discrimination from the get-go. But a combination of her own drive and the advice of a few mentors helped her get through it. There might have even been some “Go fuck yourself”s along the way, too. That said, the highs were high and the lows were low. “I never cried on the job,” Lisa told me. But the tears would come once she was home in the evenings. Still, she persevered, and things got better and better for her. One of her early favorite jobs was on the then-new California Academy of Sciences. Besides it just being a really cool building, Lisa got to do many different jobs all around the place. She says it was incredible watching it all come together. Another job highlight was Lisa's work on the arena that came to be known as Chase Center (and for Valkyries fans, “Ballhalla”). Photos of Lisa helping build Chase can be seen in the gallery to the left here. Another was Marin General Hospital. And then there was the Golden Gate Bridge. After Chase Center and another, lesser job (and a divorce), Lisa got offered a job working on the Suicide Deterrent Net on my favorite bridge. But it wasn't just any job. She would be foreperson. She didn't think she could do it because she didn't know bridge work (despite working a little on the new Bay Bridge). After being told it was foreperson or nothing, she decided to take the job. Of course the crew she would oversee comprised all bridge-work veterans. Her approach was to be respectful of that. And her crew respected her back for it. The job entails taking out old pieces and beefing up the infrastructure of the bridge, which was finished back in 1933. Lisa talks at some length about a societal need for us all to have more respect for labor. I'm with her 100 percent. There's a lot that we take for granted every day, all over the place. Many people worked and still do work hard as hell so that we can have shit like roads and sidewalks, transit tunnels, housing, and so much more. We should recognize and respect that work. We end the episode with Lisa's thoughts about life, her work, and what she loves about San Francisco and the Bay Area. You can donate to help fund Kat's documentary at the Made of Iron website. And follow that adventure on Instagram @madeofirondocumentary.

Episode #405: “Myanmar deserves better,” reflects Olle Thorell, a Swedish Member of Parliament whose nearly two-decade commitment to the nation is both political and personal. Elected to the Riksdag in 2006, Thorell's focus on Asian affairs quickly centered on Myanmar. He learned from dedicated activists and, in 2011, had a clandestine meeting with Aung San Suu Kyi, a moment he recalls as “fantastic;” albeit, goes on to acknowledge that this occurred before what her later fall from grace in international relations. Part of Thorell's vision as a member of the Swedish Parliament's Foreign Affairs Committee is for Sweden to fill the global leadership vacuum, challenge the junta's legitimacy, and help create a democratic, federal Myanmar. Thorell's early life inspired his resolve. A working-class upbringing instilled a sense of collective responsibility. His formative teenage years spent in apartheid-era South Africa cemented a lifelong dedication to human rights, teaching him firsthand the kind of society created when prejudice and racism is given free reign. Later, as a Swedish language teacher to Balkan refugees, he honed diplomatic skills, witnessing “what happens when a country falls apart, when there is a division among neighbors and friends.” During Myanmar's democratic opening (2015-2020), he was inspired by citizens printing newspapers by hand but disturbed by child labor in textile factories. These contrasts solidified his belief in the necessity of international solidarity. Thorell is proud of Sweden's historic role in human rights, grounded in the Social Democratic principle of global solidarity, in contrast to rising nationalism. Despite no direct ties, he affirms that Myanmar must remain a focus for Sweden, seen as “the last bastion of military rule where we feel we need to help out.” While lamenting a global shift towards narrow self-interest and nationalism, Thorell remains optimistic. “Liberal values and values of democracy and human rights are impossible to quench in the long run,” he says in closing.

Send us a textWe're on location at Ange's favorite store, discussing our favorite spots in Europe, highlights from the Emmy's, and Erin's newest bout with Covid. We also share some Costco pro-tips, and cap it off with our newest segment, This Bitch, over a $1.50 (delicious AF) hot dog. Best deal in town!For more on Costco's response to the DEI backlash, click hereSupport the showThanks for listening and for your support! We couldn't have won Best of the Bay Best Podcast in 2022 , 2023 , and 2024 without you! -- Fight fascism. Shop small. Use cash. -- Subscribe to our channel on YouTube for behind the scenes footage! Rate and review us wherever you listen to podcasts! Visit our website! www.bitchtalkpodcast.com Follow us on Instagram & Facebook Listen every Tuesday at 9 - 10 am on BFF.FM

The WNBA hands out its 2025 season awards. Paige Bueckers shines as Rookie of the Year, Veronica Burton and Coach Natalie Nakase represent the Valkyries, and A'ja Wilson cements her legacy with a record-breaking fourth MVP. Hosts, Carolyn and Danielle also lock in their bold Round 2 playoff predictions.On the track, the World Athletics Championships deliver big moments: Jamaican sprint legend Shelly-Ann Fraser-Pryce claims her final podium, while Team USA dominates. Melissa Jefferson-Wooden sweeps the 100m, 200m, and 4x100m, and Sydney McLaughlin-Levrone conquers the 400m flat with another record-breaking gold.Plus, Carolyn makes her case to hijack the show for Fat Bear Week (don't worry, it's still all about women's sports).If you rate Women's Sports Weekly 5 stars, send a screenshot and you will receive a sticker!SUBSCRIBE TO WOMEN'S SPORTS WEEKLY YouTubeSpotifyApple Podcasts  FOLLOW WOMEN'S SPORTS WEEKLY ON SOCIALInstagramTikTokCONTACT WomensSportsWeeklyPod@gmail.com Women's Sports Weekly is created, produced, edited, and hosted by Carolyn Bryan and Danielle Bryan. Music is by the talented ⁠Melvin Alexander Black. 

The Valkyries first season has come to a close. And if you are still looking for a similar energy and vibe to tap into and cheer for, then you can catch a Bay FC game. The team was launched last year with one of the largest institutional investments ever made in a women's professional sports franchise. 

Ed Sheeran announced his new stadium tour, and we've got tickets! Ed says he was offered a chance to be the first person to go to do a show in space - you won't be surprised by his response. The Valkyries season has come to an end, but what a tremendous first season it was. A singer's car was found with a dead body in it last week - Sarah's got an update, and the gang agrees on the verdict. There's nothing like reading a book with your kid. 1 in 8 people have never cried tears of joy. Do you remember who said “I love you” first? Great memories (mostly).

Ed Sheeran announced his new stadium tour, and we've got tickets! Ed says he was offered a chance to be the first person to go to do a show in space - you won't be surprised by his response. The Valkyries season has come to an end, but what a tremendous first season it was. A singer's car was found with a dead body in it last week - Sarah's got an update, and the gang agrees on the verdict. 1 in 8 people have never cried tears of joy. Do you remember who said “I love you” first? Great memories (mostly). A new Netflix series starring Jude Law and Jason Bateman is out today! Jimmy Kimmel Live is off the air indefinitely. SNL has the biggest reach on YouTube of any channel. ‘Friends' fans rejoice! Central Perk pop up goes permanent. Shaq gives Koby Bryant's mom a gift in honor of what would be his 47th birthday. In-N-Out Burger has a way to deal with line cutters - do you agree with this method? Martha Stewart is doing better than ever and is a prime example that age is just a number. In the age of reboots, why haven't these franchises been chosen? If you're reading this it's time for a girls night. If your kid wants to go far away for college you should actually take it as a compliment. Taylor Swift will be on ‘The Graham Norton Show' in support of her October 3rd album release. Meanwhile, the internet is chattering about Travis Kelce's “free 4” shirt - here are the details. Cardi B is pregnant! She says it will NOT impact her world tour. Nick Canon finally admits maybe having 12 kids wasn't the best idea, but he loves them! Avril Lavigne is selling wine! The first crash of its kind: Flying cars. A lottery winner donated every penny to charity… even the amount she needed for taxes. Summer isn't quite over yet! The Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk is still here for you. Plus, another riveting game of How Old Is That Guy?

D-Lo and KC discuss a potential work perk, and the Valkyries losing in the WNBA playoffs.

Ros Gold-Onwude joins Lisa Leslie on this episode of Between the Lines to discuss the biggest storylines from the first round of the WNBA playoffs! They break down Phoenix vs. Liberty's thrilling overtime game, celebrate the Valkyries' historic season and Veronica Burton's Most Improved Player award, highlight Atlanta's cohesive effort all season long, marvel at the Aces' unstoppable streak, and, of course, weigh in on the hottest topic dividing fans right now: the MVP race (why can't we just have co-MVPs!!). #wnba #womenssports #womensbasketball There's a gap between how people talk about the W and how fans actually experience it. Between the Lines is here to close it. Hosted by the legendary Lisa Leslie, this weekly podcast serves up unfiltered takes, expert insight, and candid interviews for the true fans of the game. Made by people who love the W, for those who can't live without it. Just Women's Sports is the leading digital media platform dedicated exclusively to women's sports. In a world where women's sports have been historically underfunded and under-promoted, Just Women's Sports exists to shine a light on all the stories, athletes and moments that define and fuel the space. Through original podcasts, premium video programming, social media, editorial content, a newsletter, and exclusive merchandise and live events, Just Women's Sports is committed to making it both easy and fun to be a women's sports fan. Add us on: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/justwomenssports/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/justwsports Tik Tok: https://www.tiktok.com/@justwomenssports?

The Golden State Warriors have increased their contract offer to Jonathan Kuminga, but the sides have not come to an agreement. Dalton Johnson and Monte Poole break down the contract negotiations as well as how it might impact the rest of the team, before giving flowers to the Golden State Valkyries for their success in their inaugural season.(02:00) - The Warriors have a new offer(s) on the table for Jonathan Kuminga while other free agents wait(07:00) - The Kuminga restricted free agency situation remains unresolved as Warriors Media Day approaches(08:30) - Could Draymond Green move into an Andre Iguodala type role to make room for Kuminga to start?(20:00) - Is Bob Myers' ability to connect with people and players missing in these negotiations?(26:45) - If Warriors flip "Team Option" to a "Player Option," Kuminga will sign contract(32:15) - The Valkyries are bringing the WNBA playoffs to the Bay, but will "Ballhalla" travel to SAP Center in San Jose?(38:30) - Veronica Burton named WNBA Most Improved Player. Which Warriors player could make same leap this season? Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Slain right-wing activist Charlie Kirk combined organizational acumen and internet savvy to build a political machine. Now his death is being used to justify a crackdown on the left. Actor, filmmaker, and activist Robert Redford died today at 89. He made dozens of legendary movies and founded the Sundance Film Festival. LA Opera Music Director James Conlon talks about the Recovered Voices program, the importance of educating young people about classical arts, and why “West Side Story” is significant to him. The Dodgers fight through injuries and a tough loss ahead of the MLB playoffs. The Valkyries hope to make WNBA playoff history. And UCLA football scrambles after another coaching shakeup.  

Vinnie took a little trip to the charming Russian River, and his kids didn't make good partners in crime. Sarah and Vinnie are taking a moment to appreciate San Francisco's beauty. Matty already found a flaw with the woman Vinnie set him up with… It's hot out… again. The Valkyries are coming to San Jose this Wednesday, and they need your support! Is trying to “glow up” your boyfriend wrong? Another edition of 10 years ago this week, and a guy won the lottery and tried to divorce his wife without telling her.

Vinnie took a little trip to the charming Russian River, and his kids didn't make good partners in crime. Sarah and Vinnie are taking a moment to appreciate San Francisco's beauty. Matty already found a flaw with the woman Vinnie set him up with... The Valkyries are coming to San Jose this Wednesday, and they need your support! Is trying to “glow up” your boyfriend wrong? Another edition of 10 years ago this week, and a guy won the lottery and tried to divorce his wife without telling her. The Emmys were last night, and the big winners were ‘The Studio,' ‘The Pitt,' and ‘Adolescence.' Helly R from ‘Severance' and Hannah from ‘Hacks' also had notable speeches. Plus, a discussion over Nate Bargatze's charity clock bit. Then, Vinnie has fast facts for the gang to debate, and a new wedding gift trend gives Bob something to think about. Is trying to get backstage to meet the band still a thing? The Bieber Family Values are bizarre, but the concept is cute! Rumors are swirling around Chip and Joanna Gaines - the gang is speculating at the potential reasons. There are more people struggling financially in California than you would expect. It's time to start discussing your Halloween costume, but Costco is already ready for Christmas. Many people already feel like they can't live without Chat GPT. Plus: Here's crap to smear on your face. Having someone to take care of you when you get old is not a good reason to get old, but Cardi B says it's one of her motivators for having more. Zack Bryan jumps a barbed wire fence to come after fellow country singer Gavin Adcock - yikes! Things happen between neighbors, but what could be the reason for this hole in the ceiling? Should some hobbies be “just for kids?” Is anyone still bowling on a Friday night? Plus: When did that happen?

On today's 9.15.25 show we talked about the woman that sells chewed up food, Demon Slayer's performance at the box office, Peta has sent a letter to 'Hot Ones' about their use of chicken wings, Taylor will not be deposed after all, there may be a Tiktok deal reached, the Valkyries made their playoff debut, Selena is convinced our phones are reading our thoughts, the Canelo and Crawford fight, Graham made a bet with a listener, an Emmys recap, Niners updates and more!

The Athletic's Marcus Thompson joins Dirty Work live at 58 Social to chat about Warriors, Valkyries and much moreSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Golden State Valkyries' first season has been a huge success. Next week, they'll be the first WNBA expansion team to appear in the playoffs.  The Valkyries aren't just good; they're fun to watch. Part of their appeal is the community around the team, which embraces women and LGBTQ people. This is also reflected in the team's official DJs, whose job it is to set the mood at Chase Center, AKA Balhalla. Links: Meet the DJs Bringing the Pride and the Party to the Valkyries' Ballhalla Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Happy Monday! The gang's all here, and Vinnie is raving about Freakier Friday. Speaking of movies, be sure to catch up on ‘The Lost Boys' before Thursday morning! Matty saw the Valkyries on Saturday, but he didn't take a date. He's focused on tests and parking.

A vague birthday wish, internet sleuthing, and the Valkyries! The Charlie Sheen documentary is here, and it sounds like he isn't holding back. NFL teams are brushing off the dust. Baseball presents: Phillies Karen! 10 years ago this week: Stephen Colbert and Justin Bieber. Haven't you ever been spontaneous? Why don't you just call YouTube up: A man's odyssey to watch his freaking football team. The song of the summer is a baseball broadcast. Pam Anderson doesn't do PR stunts. Austin Butler and EmRata were seen sitting near each other, and lots of other budding Hollywood couple news! Would you pay up for a vacation that helps you sleep? Not up for debate: Baby Boomers are addicted to their phones. Forget cooking, go out to dinner with your partner and scroll! The Oasis tour continues and some are saying it's the best show they've ever seen. Patrick Schwarzenegger ties the knot with his longtime girlfriend at a star studded wedding. Vinnie speaks for dads everywhere. Sarah has an update on the Coldplay couple! You won't believe Martha Stewart's age. Matty's dog saw him watch a football game for the first time. You can now pay for an Uber with cash… so like a taxi? Keep the praise and the donuts coming! Don't miss your chance to hang with the gang at the movies this Friday! The MTV VMA's were last night - Sabrina Carpenter, Ariana Grande, and Sombr stole the show. It's time to go furniture shopping on Boston's sidewalks. Plus, Matty is opinionated about everything other than pizza toppings.

A vague birthday wish. Vinnie wants to learn about internet sleuthing. Matty is raving about the MC from the Valkyries game. Bob is raving about Northern Michigan. The Charlie Sheen documentary is here, and it sounds like he isn't holding back. NFL teams are brushing off the dust. Baseball presents: Phillies Karen! 10 years ago this week: Stephen Colbert and Justin Bieber. Haven't you ever been spontaneous?

An update on the man found dead at Burning Man, Pete Davidson went on Shark Tank, and guess how much Kim K get per post! Plus the Valkyries are headed to the playoffs, things old folks think are overrated, more pod apartments coming to SF, and Fast Facts!

Big news for Valkyries fans, Sarah's first job, a 70's band wants to play Taylors wedding, San Jose is getting Waymo at the airport, and could be some trouble for Selena Gomez's mom.

Power up your big screen TV, this week's Bob's Movie Club has been announced: ‘The Lost Boys.' It might be a good time to rewatch ‘This Is Spinal Tap' too. Lady Gaga is bound to start a TikTok trend with her new dance on ‘Wednesday.' SNL has seen a huge cast shakeup. A departing castmate claims it's a toxic environment… we're shocked. The Valkyries are in the playoff race, and the lottery jackpot is worth buying a ticket for. After decades, an identical twin was definitively convicted thanks to a DNA test breakthrough. Costco proves yet again it's more than a grocery store. Don't guilt trip me on vacation!

WE'RE BACK! Sarah, Vinnie, and Matty are catching up on their relaxing vacations. Meanwhile, Bob is recapping her not so relaxing time in the desert. Power up your big screen TV, this week's Bob's Movie Club has been announced: ‘The Lost Boys.' It might be a good time to rewatch ‘This Is Spinal Tap' too. Lady Gaga is bound to start a TikTok trend with her new dance on ‘Wednesday.' SNL has seen a huge cast shakeup. The Valkyries are in the playoff race, and the lottery jackpot is worth buying a ticket for. After decades, an identical twin was definitively convicted thanks to a DNA test breakthrough. Costco proves yet again it's more than a grocery store. It's time to trade tan lines for linemen - football season has officially begun! Ryan Lochte is in the news, but yet again, not for swimming. Steven King's new movie ‘The Long Walk' looks bleak, to say the least. You've been saying Denzel Washington's name wrong. Publishers Clearing House declares bankruptcy - here's what it means for the big check winners. Vinnie's daughter had her first emergency as a fish parent. Giorgio Armani, of the iconic suit brand, has passed away. The new ‘Dancing With The Stars' cast is here! TMZ confirms Harry Styles and Zoë Kravitz are friends with benefits. Is scrolling on social media causing Hemorrhoids? Bob tells a story that's sure to be a classic. The speculation around Taylor Swift's Super Bowl performance continues to swirl. Post Malone's country era now includes a fashion line. Billboard has named the song of the summer. Berkeley is named the best public school in the country. How well do you remember these famous Super Bowl performances?

Marcus and Tim discuss how different the Chase Center crowds have been for the Valkyries than they are for Warriors games. Also: What's going on with Steve Kerr going into his final contracted season? To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Greg Jenner is joined in medieval Scandinavia by historian Dr Eleanor Barraclough and comedian Chloe Petts to learn about the fascinating women of the Viking age. The popular stereotype of the Vikings is pretty macho: bearded men on boats, heading out to raid, pillage and burn down monasteries. There are some famous images of Viking warrior women: shieldmaidens, Valkyries and various goddesses. But what about the lives led by ordinary women in medieval Scandinavia and across the Viking world? In this episode we look at the real history behind the myths and stereotypes, exploring daily life for Viking women: their roles as wives and mothers, the work they did as weavers and healers, the gods they prayed to, the archaeological traces they left behind, as well as the sad reality that many women in the Viking world were enslaved. We also look at women who lived lives out of the ordinary – as queens, sorceresses, and warriors. If you're a fan of feminist history, the intimate details of daily life in the past, and fantastical myths and legends, you'll love our episode on Viking Women. If you want to know more about the Vikings, check out our episodes on Leif Erikson and Old Norse Literature. And for more fearsome warrior women, there's our episode on Njinga of Ndongo and Matamba. You're Dead To Me is the comedy podcast that takes history seriously. Every episode, Greg Jenner brings together the best names in history and comedy to learn and laugh about the past. Hosted by: Greg Jenner Research by: Clara Chamberlain Written by: Clara Chamberlain, Emmie Rose Price-Goodfellow, Emma Nagouse, and Greg Jenner Produced by: Emmie Rose Price-Goodfellow and Greg Jenner Audio Producer: Steve Hankey Production Coordinator: Gill Huggett Senior Producer: Emma Nagouse Executive Editor: Philip Sellars

Sarah goes over what's on TV tonight including a Bruce Willis Doc and a Kelly Clarkson special, Mcauley Caulkin is going on the road with Home Alone and it kicks off here in The Bay, and Jay Leno makes Harrison Ford a toilet set. Good news as the Valkyries are in the playoff hunt, a butt sniffer is caught in Burbank, Fast Facts, and we celebrate National Dog Day!

Lots of fun for your Tuesday on the full show with stories about Kim K, Taylor Swift, the Valkyries, Britney Spears, and National Dog Day!

This Week on Good Follow: Ros & Logan determine who is a more dangerous playoff contender between the Las Vegas Aces and the Indiana Fever, and should Stephanie White shut down Caitlin Clark for the season? Then, the Valkyries revealed their new mascot, Violet! Finally, Logan shares her NWSL pick of the week presented by DraftKings. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Juju Gotti goes deep with Sarah Spain about the W discussing who will fill that 8th playoff spot, the valuation of the Valkyries, the rookies on the Mystics, the Fever with and without Caitlin, the inconsistent Chicago Sky, and what is up with those WNBA refs. #wnba #sarahspain #washingtonmystics #dallaswings #lasvegasaces #valkyries #basketball Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to Radio Rental, a mysterious video rental shop with a collection of VHS tapes containing TRUE scary stories, narrated by the people who experienced them... On today's tapes... >> Flight of the Valkyries > RJ