Motherhood Reimagined Podcast

In this bonus episode, I share an interview I conducted inside my Membership Community with Trusts and Estates Attorney, Kathleen Hunt, Unique Law. We cover the key parts of an estate plan that every single mother by choice should have including, The differences between a will and a trust. What every woman should set up as soon as she owns a home or gets pregnant. Considerations for picking guardians How do you provide for your child financially if something happens to you How to protect your kids if you end up temporarily incapacitated This is an example of interviews from inside my SMC membership community. Please consider joining to get regular guest expert interviews, a community of fellow SMC's, my most popular courses and SMC roundtable discussions. Learn more here.https://motherhoodreimagined.com/single-mom-by-choice-community-forum/

Welcome to the last episode of season one of Motherhood Reimagined. To mark the end of this season I have invited a return guest to the show. Sige was my guest for the second episode of the first season. During that interview, Sige was pregnant with her son and told us she would come back to tell us how she felt about the single-mother-by-choice path. It has been thirteen months since our last conversation and she is very honest and raw about the first year with her child. She shares her struggle with me and reflects on how her feelings have changed since our first episode together. Sige has an unusual living arrangement that she recommends to other single parents. We also discuss dating and how parenthood changes your expectations of a partner. I was really glad to have Sige back on the show and I feel her point-of-view is important for anyone curious about the single-mother-by-choice option. Some highlights of today’s conversation: Welcome back Sige to the show. The arch Sige experienced during her son’s first year. The struggle with resentment and sleep deprivation. Sige’s emotional roller coaster over the last year. How she has dealt with going back to work. Sige’s support system and feelings of isolation. Why mindset is the most important part of parenthood. The unique co-living arrangement Sige has and why it is great. The qualities she is looking for in a partner now. Sige’s opinion on single parenthood. A revisit of our first conversation and Sige’s answers now. The “secret club of parenthood.” The single mom stigma and how Sige copes with it. Sige’s advice to women considering the single mother path. Resources Sign up to be a podcast guest Motherhood Reimagined Website Motherhood Reimagined Tribe Motherhood Reimagined: When Becoming a Mother Doesn’t Go As Planned: A Memoir by Sarah Kowalski Sarah’s email Thank you for joining me for the end of season one. In a few weeks, I will begin a second season. Please feel free to share your feedback with me and take a look at my other content.

My guest today is slightly different than the others. Katerina decided to be a single-mother-by-choice at the age of 23. Katerina tells me why the single-mother path was her first option and why she found it empowering. Katerina conceived her son via a sperm donor. She tells me about the donor selection process and the things she had to consider to make her plans reality. We discuss her support system and the early years with her son. Including the loneliness that comes with motherhood. She is now married with a second child and living in Mexico with her family. We explore how she and her family wound up in Mexico and how it has changed their lives for the better. Katerina is also very candid about the adjustment of going from single parenting to a partnered relationship. She shares what it was like to date with a child and how it gave her a more grounded experience during the process. Katherina also runs a company called the Non-Toxic Unicorn. She tells me about her passion to help others make healthier choices for themselves and their families. So if you are looking for natural alternatives in your daily life, check out the Non-Toxic Unicorn. Today’s episode is a wonderful reminder that single motherhood is a legitimate path. It was so nice to hear that this path to motherhood is so much more than a “last resort.” Some highlights of today’s conversation: Katerina’s early expectations of motherhood. Why she made the decision to be a single mother so young. How she chose her sperm donor and the qualities she wanted. Her family’s reaction to her decision and how they supported her. Katerina’s unique work arrangement and coping with leaving her infant at home. How Katerina “grew up with her son.” Why motherhood can be so lonely. Katerina’s “journey box” and her plans for the donor conversation. How Katerina met her husband and added to their family. The adjustment of solo-parenting to co-parenting. Why Katerina and her family now live in Mexico. The benefits of raising children in Mexico. Motherhood is surrendering, not sacrifice. How insurance can be an option for someone considering the single-mother-by-choice path. The Non-Toxic Unicorn Katerina’s final thoughts. Resources The Non-Toxic Unicorn

In today’s episode, we’ll be doing something a little bit different from the usual format. I’m interviewing my two friends, Jackie and Abby, who also live here in Mexico. We’ve received questions about how we ended up here and why, so we wanted to talk about how we met, why we moved here, and what’s different about living in Mexico versus living in the states. Jackie, Abby, and I met in a single-moms-by-choice travel group online in a thread discussing the idea of moving abroad to save money. In today’s episodes, we talk about what our lives were like before moving to Mexico. Abby describes being frequently stressed and rushed, with little time for a social life. Though she had a strong support system, childcare was very expensive. Jackie also talks about how her long commute ate into her day and how childcare was more expensive than she’d originally counted on, due to her son’s heart condition. She took a pay cut in order to work remotely from home, but still couldn’t find much time to go out due to the expense of childcare. In Mexico, their lives are very different. Abby describes having around seven and a half hours to herself while her children are in school. She has time to train as a pediatric sleep consultant, with an eye to opening her own remote business, while also taking a Spanish course, volunteering at a midwifery clinic, and working part-time. And she still also finds time to do yoga, exercise, and have coffee or lunch with friends. Jackie says that her job keeps her busy during the week, but she enjoys the beautiful views and delicious foods available in Mexico. She describes how much more affordable life is in Mexico – she can afford to have a standing babysitter, go for a massage or pedicure, and generally enjoy a more balanced life with more social activity than she was able to have in the states. Abby, Jackie, and I also talk about the differences between healthcare cost and access in Mexico as opposed to what they were accustomed to in the US. Jackie and Abby talk about when they first started thinking about moving abroad and what the process was like for them. We discuss how satisfied we are with our lives in Mexico, as well as some of the harder things about making such a big move and adjusting to life in a new country, and Abby and Jackie share some tips that they’d give to others thinking about moving abroad with kids, as well as discuss when the best time is to make a big move when you have children. Some highlights of today’s conversation: How Jackie, Abby, and Sarah met What Jackie’s, Abby’s, and Sarah’s lives were like before moving abroad What Jackie’s, Abby’s, and Sarah’s lives are like in Mexico How healthcare is different in Mexico than in the US When Jackie and Abby first started thinking about moving abroad What the process of moving abroad was like Advice that Abby and Jackie would give to others thinking of making a similar move How satisfied Jackie and Abby feel with their decision to move to Mexico

My guest today is Brenda, a single-mom-by-choice who had a difficult 4-year journey to motherhood and has made it her mission to help women feel empowered about their reproduction options. She shares her shock at the realization that her OBGYN never mentioned the finite window of fertility. Brenda believes that it is an important conversation to have and encourages women to be proactive in the conversation. Brenda tried IUI (Intrauterine insemination) with no results and ultimately decided to switch to donor egg IVF (In vitro fertilization). Using both a sperm and an egg donor, was difficult and quite mentally taxing decision. We discuss how she conquered her bias toward the double donor path and why she considers it one of the greatest gifts anyone has given her. Sadly, Brenda’s first two pregnancies with donor eggs ended in miscarriage. It was discovered that she had a problem with her immune system that had to be medically treated through shots and a doctor’s watchful eye. She tells me about these painful moments and explains why she kept pressing on to her goal, even when it seemed everything was against her. Brenda says that one of the things that got her through the grueling process was a support group who became a second family for her. She explains how their ups and downs helped put her own struggles in perspective and kept her on the path. Brenda’s story is very similar to my own and I feel a deep connection to her thoughts and feelings. If you are considering the single-mother-by-choice path just remember that education is key to preparing yourself for the journey. That’s why Motherhood Reimagined was created and I want to help you make informed decisions about having your own family. Some highlights of today’s conversation: The pressure Brenda felt when the prospect of marriage was not on the horizon. How a conversation with her OBGYN changed her life plan. The 4-year journey that led to many setbacks but ultimately ended with a child. The misconception that pregnancy is an easy process. The fears that arise when telling your family about your plans. The statistics that pushed Brenda into the double donor path. The immune system issue that led to specialists and difficult treatment. What the road looked like for Brenda after the miscarriages and how she carried on. The support group that kept her going. What Brenda considered in her donors and why she hopes to meet the sperm donor someday. How Brenda approaches the donor-conceived conversation with her son. How her journey has changed her perspective on family and the world around her. Why women need to take more control of their fertility.

My guest today is Brenda, a single-mom-by-choice who had a difficult 4-year journey to motherhood and has made it her mission to help women feel empowered about their reproduction options. She shares her shock at the realization that her OBGYN never mentioned the finite window of fertility. Brenda believes that it is an important conversation to have and encourages women to be proactive in the conversation. Brenda tried IUI (Intrauterine insemination) with no results and ultimately decided to switch to donor egg IVF (In vitro fertilization). Using both a sperm and an egg donor, was difficult and quite mentally taxing decision. We discuss how she conquered her bias toward the double donor path and why she considers it one of the greatest gifts anyone has given her. Sadly, Brenda’s first two pregnancies with donor eggs ended in miscarriage. It was discovered that she had a problem with her immune system that had to be medically treated through shots and a doctor’s watchful eye. She tells me about these painful moments and explains why she kept pressing on to her goal, even when it seemed everything was against her. Brenda says that one of the things that got her through the grueling process was a support group who became a second family for her. She explains how their ups and downs helped put her own struggles in perspective and kept her on the path. Brenda’s story is very similar to my own and I feel a deep connection to her thoughts and feelings. If you are considering the single-mother-by-choice path just remember that education is key to preparing yourself for the journey. That’s why Motherhood Reimagined was created and I want to help you make informed decisions about having your own family. Some highlights of today’s conversation: The pressure Brenda felt when the prospect of marriage was not on the horizon. How a conversation with her OBGYN changed her life plan. The 4-year journey that led to many setbacks but ultimately ended with a child. The misconception that pregnancy is an easy process. The fears that arise when telling your family about your plans. The statistics that pushed Brenda into the double donor path. The immune system issue that led to specialists and difficult treatment. What the road looked like for Brenda after the miscarriages and how she carried on. The support group that kept her going. What Brenda considered in her donors and why she hopes to meet the sperm donor someday. How Brenda approaches the donor-conceived conversation with her son. How her journey has changed her perspective on family and the world around her. Why women need to take more control of their fertility.

Vivian began her path to motherhood with a plan to conceive a child with a close friend. Sadly, she miscarried and a new plan was in order. She chose a sperm donor and moved forward on her journey. We discuss the difficulty of changing “the plan” and what it taught Vivian about herself. She has also made the decision to have a second child via a sperm donor. She explains why she felt now was the time and her hopes for a larger family. We explore the excitement of finding half-siblings and how it fleshes out the family experience for both the mother and child. Vivian is very candid about her ideas of motherhood and how it has evolved over time. Specifically, she discusses the shame she felt during her dating years around admitting that she wanted a family. Unfortunately, this shame is very common with career women and Vivian is very honest about her reasons and mental hurdles she had to conquer to ultimately choose the single-mother-by-choice path. Some highlights of today’s conversation: Vivian’s romantic notion of marriage and family. The shame of admitting out loud the desire for a family. The original baby plan that failed. How Vivian switched her thinking from a personal agreement with a friend to using a sperm donor. The factors she considered to select her sperm donor. Vivian's plan for a second child and where that stands currently. Connecting with half-sibling families and how it helps everyone involved. Why Vivian decided to try for a second child. The pros and cons of raising a toddler. The irrational fears using a donor brings to the surface and how to combat them. How Vivian’s view on her donor has changed. Vivian’s support team and learning to ask for help. How motherhood has changed Vivian’s approach to life. Why you need a plan for your child in the event of your death. Resources Sign up to be a podcast guest Motherhood Reimagined Website Motherhood Reimagined Tribe Motherhood Reimagined: When Becoming a Mother Doesn’t Go As Planned: A Memoir by Sarah Kowalski Sarah’s email Thank you for joining me fo

Tammy is a single-mother-by-choice who used both an egg and a sperm donor to conceive her son. She went to Panama for donor egg IVF with sperm she had shipped from California Cryobank. We discuss the decision to leave the U.S. to have her fertility treatments and IVF (In vitro fertilization) process. She became pregnant on her second try and came back to the U.S. to deliver her child. The pregnancy was difficult for Tammy, she had gestational diabetes, hypertension, and preeclampsia. As a result, her son was six weeks early. The premature birth completely wrecked her home return plans. Tammy does express gratitude to the NICU for preparing her role as a mother. She also celebrates postpartum doulas and why she found hers indispensable. Tammy is very open about how motherhood has changed her, including her decision to leave the U.S. and make some lifestyle changes for herself and her son. That opens the door to the conversations about the benefits of being a solo mother and how this path has a lot fewer complications than coupled parents. We both agree that the single-mother-by-choice-path needs to be more accepted as a plan A, not just a plan B. Don’t get hung up on the definition of family, the concept is changing and that’s a wonderful thing! Some highlights of today’s conversation: Tammy’s expectations of love, marriage, and family. Why she waited till 47 to pursue motherhood. Why Tammy went to Panama to pursue egg donor IVF and why it was a good experience. How she managed to find a doctor in the US to liaise with the doctors in Panama. The challenge of seeking fertility options overseas and working with the U.S. as well. Tammy’s difficult pregnancy and premature birth. How premature birth ruined any support system plans. Why it can be hard to ask for help. The benefits of hiring a postpartum doula. Tammy’s health issues and why she has made some major life changes. Why single-motherhood is great! The importance of separating marriage and romance from parenthood. Why dating isn’t a priority for Tammy. How to create your own support system. The cohabitation trend within the single-mother-by-choice community. How the new generation is redefining the meaning of family. Resources California Cryobank Sign up to be a podcast guest

Alex is a single-mother-by-choice who decided to take the adoption route to build her family. She tells me about how she educated herself on the process and how she conquered the emotional hurdles. As well as the stigma of being a single woman wanting to adopt. Alex was in her 30s when she decided to pursue adoption. She spoke to agencies and dove into the research process to really find the option that best fit her. She has some insight on what she found out about international adoption versus domestic and why she decided domestic was her best path. She also shares how she found an adoption attorney that not only looked out for her best interests but also the birth mother’s as well. She is very open about the process and really advocates for private adoption. Alex’s adoption process is what is known as an “open adoption,” which means the child is aware of their biological family and has access to them. Alex is very honest about the initial fear of including the birth mother in their life but is happy to say now she welcomes the diversity of her family. We discuss the concept of a “family constellation” rather than a “family tree.” Not many people are as open about the adoption process as Alex is, so I think today’s episode is very insightful and encouraging. Some highlights of today’s conversation: Alex’s early ideas of motherhood and family. Why adoption was the best path for her. How Alex educated herself on the adoption process. Why an adoption attorney was a game changer. The differences between international adoption and domestic adoption. Alex’s relationship with her daughter’s birth mother and extended family. How she keeps the door of communication open for her daughter. How to build a “family constellation.” How Alex explains her family to her daughter, and the terms “biological mother” and “real mom.” The importance of both biology and nurture regarding raising a child. What Alex would have done differently in hindsight. Her advice to other women considering her path and the single-mother-by-choice option. Resources David Radis, Adoption Attorney Sign up to be a podcast guest Motherhood Reimagined Website Motherhood Reimagined Tribe

Brooke is the solo mom of twin boys. She started her journey at the age of 40 and underwent an emotional path to motherhood. Brooke used both a sperm and an egg donor for her pregnancy. She tells me about her hesitation to use an egg donor but how she conquered those fears and pushed forward in her process. Brooke was a highly creative child who spent her 20s and 30s traveling and focusing on her career. However, a glance at a forgotten online dating profile triggered her need to go ahead and begin the single-mother-by-choice journey. Her first experience was not positive and led her to change clinics. She found a wonderful egg donor with her new clinic but the procedure was botched and Brooke had to cope with the disappointment. She explores that disappointment and reflects on how she moved forward. Finally, Brooke had a successful IVF (In vitro fertilization) procedure and conceived her sons. She tells me about telling her family and the decision to move back home to be close to her family. That move home turned out to be for the best because Brooke developed preeclampsia at her 6-month mark and delivered her children at 32 weeks. She credits her family with helping her deal with her illness and the newborns. You can visit Brooke’s blog to learn more about her journey. Some highlights of today’s conversation: Brooke’s early childhood and family ideals. How an EHarmony profile pushed Brooke to become a single-mom-by-choice. How Brooke found her sperm donor and the power of the voice. Brooke’s first IVF and her poor experience at the clinic. The perfect egg donor but the botched retrieval process. Why Brooke choose to go to Portland to conceive her boys. Moving home and premature birth. Brooke’s experience with bonding with her children. How books have helped Brooke open the door to the donor conception talk with her sons. How Brooke found her “tribe” and learned to ask for help. How Brooke juggles family and work. Why Brooke considers the single-mother-by-choice path a feasible one. Resources Brooke’s Blog The Family Book by Todd Parr Sign up to be a podcast guest Motherhood Reimagined Website

Joanna is a single-mother-by-choice who conceived two children, one with her own eggs and the other with a donor’s eggs. As an only child having more than one child was very important to Joanna. She tells me about the process of conceiving her first child, and the painful decision to reduce her pregnancy when genetic issues were discovered with one of her twins. Joanna explains how she chose her sperm donor, whom you used for both pregnancies. Then she shared the much harder process of conceiving her second child with an egg and sperm donor. Although the pregnancy was more difficult, Joanna shares that parenting her second child was somewhat easier. We discuss the differences between children and how the genetic connection plays into it. Joanna explains about what she enjoys about parenthood and what she dislikes, her answers are honest and inspiring to anyone considering an alternative path to motherhood. If you have one child and are contemplating trying for a second, Joanna’s story will encourage you to weigh your options and make the right decisions for you. Some highlights of today’s conversation: Joanna’s early ideas of motherhood. Why she felt the need to have more than one child. The rigorous fertility treatments and the IVF (In vitro fertilization) that worked. How Joanna picked her sperm donor. The devastating news that one of her twins was not likely to survive. The decision to reduce the pregnancy and what followed. The exhausting year that led to Joanna’s second pregnancy. How she chose her egg donor. The bonding experience with Joanna’s children and the surprising results with each child. Why Joanna is a big fan of making the 4th trimester easier. Joanna’s support system and how being an introvert can interfere. Joanna’s opinion on maternity leave and how the return to work differed from child to child. Why nature versus nurture is bogus. Why self-care is so important to your sanity. Resources Sign up to be a podcast guest Motherhood Reimagined Website Motherhood Reimagined Tribe

After her mother passed away, Laura decided she needed to make another connection with another human being and began her unconventional path to motherhood. She went through three years of multiple attempts at IUI (Intrauterine insemination) and several miscarriages. Finally, in 2014, Laura was able to conceive her daughter with IVF (In vitro fertilization.) Laura is very honest about the long and grueling process that led to her pregnancies. We discuss the sperm donor process and how opened id donors interact with sperm banks. Laura also shares the relief of having half-siblings to help ease her daughter’s curiosity in the future. She tells me about their relationship with the other families and how she has approached the topic of her daughter’s conception. We also explore the loneliness of the single-mother-by-choice path. Laura encourages seeking out a community and finding other moms to connect with. Some highlights of today’s conversation: Laura’s ideas of normal and expectations of motherhood. Why her mother’s death kick-started her single-mother-by-choice journey. The medications and processes Laura went through. The three-year process of IUIs and miscarriages. The devastation of losing her babies later in pregnancy. The shift to IVF and the successful pregnancy. How Laura found mom groups and forums. Laura’s donor selection process and the final choice. Laura’s concern about having an opened id donor and how her daughter will react. The benefit of being in contact with half-siblings and their families. The surprising closeness of Laura and her daughter. The isolation of the single-mom-by-choice and how to fight it. Laura’s advice to women considering this path. Resources Sign up to be a podcast guest Motherhood Reimagined Website Motherhood Reimagined Tribe Motherhood Reimagined: When Becoming a Mother Doesn’t Go As Planned: A Memoir by Sarah Kowalski Sarah’s email Thank you for joining us for Motherhood Reimagined. You can contact us through the website or Twitter

My guest today is Jackie, a single-mom-by-choice who wanted to have a co-parenting agreement at the beginning of her journey. The plans for co-parenting fell through and Jackie conceived her child with a sperm donor. Jackie talks about how she approached the co-parenting arrangement and why it didn’t work out. She also discusses her difficult pregnancy and recovery. Jackie dealt with postpartum depression after her delivery. She shares what it was like to cope with those startling feelings and how she reached out for help. We also talk about how to build a support system and why it is good to start early to build your village. Jackie authors a blog called Oakland Choice Mom and hopes to encourage women to consider the single-mother-by-choice option. Some highlights of today’s conversation: Jackie’s early ideas of motherhood and family. Why she wanted to pursue the single-mother-by-choice option. Jackie’s attempts to arrange a co-parenting relationship and why it didn’t happen. How she approached the co-parenting agreement with her friend. How Jackie underestimated the difficulty of the donor process. How she chose her sperm donor. The importance of not having expectations with your donor experience. How Jackie coped with postpartum depression and found the resources to help. Jackie’s support system and how she built it. The Oakland Choice Mom blog. Resources Oakland Choice Mom Blog Oakland Choice Mom Facebook Sign up to be a podcast guest Motherhood Reimagined Website Motherhood Reimagined Tribe Motherhood Reimagined: When Becoming a Mother Doesn’t Go As Planned: A Memoir by Sarah Kowalski Sarah’s email Thank you for joining us for Motherhood Reimagined. You can contact us through the website or Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram

Karin chose to be a single-mother-by-choice in her late 20s. She is now married with a step-daughter and two-parent family structure. I asked Karin to tell me what it was like to date while pregnant and how she weeded out the creeps from the serious candidates. She also tells me about her plans to conceive a child through a friend’s sperm donation and the shift to a sperm donor bank when her original plan didn’t work. She describes the mindset she went through while looking for a new sperm donor. Tragedy struck during her pregnancy when her daughter’s twin was born stillborn. She is very frank about that disappointment and her regrets about that baby’s treatment. We then move on to how Karin met her partner and how they blended two families. She shares her experience as a step-mom and explains the pros and cons of choosing to parent with someone else. She encourages parents to look for their “tribes” and build a community for themselves and their family. Some highlights of today’s conversation: Karin’s early expectations of motherhood. Her plans to conceive her child with a friend. How she chose her sperm donor when the original plan didn’t work. The heartbreak of giving birth to one live child and one stillborn. How Karin balanced dating and pregnancy. When she realized she wanted a blended family. How she met her partner. The upside of parenting with another person. The downside of being part of a partnership. Karin’s life as a step-mom. How she was able to blend her family. Karin’s advice for pregnant women who want to date. Her regrets from her pregnancy. How Karin built a community and tribe for her daughter. Resources Center for Loss in Multiple Births (CLIMB) Sign up to be a podcast guest Motherhood Reimagined Website Motherhood Reimagined Tribe Motherhood Reimagined: When Becoming a Mother Doesn’t Go As Planned: A Memoir by Sarah Kowalski Sarah’s email Thank you for joining us for Motherhood Reimagined. You can contact us through the websi

Stacy is a return guest who shared her story about conceiving a child with a surrogate and adopting a second child. Today, she tells me about her experience with the adoption process and what she wants other women to know about the “illusion” created by the industry. Stacy’s path to motherhood was an eight-year journey. Through miscarriages, a failed adoption, and a failed surrogacy, Stacy had to keep moving forward with the faith that her child was waiting for her. She walks the listener through the process and is very transparent about the average cost of the various stages. We also discuss the red flags a potential adoptive parent needs to watch for and the various paths to adoption. There are pros and cons to every path to motherhood and Stacy doesn’t shy away from that. She gives incredible details of her own process, the good, the bad, and the ugly. If adoption is something you are considering, Stacy story should both caution and encourage you. Some highlights of today’s conversation: Welcome back, Stacy. The 8-year path to motherhood and all its ups and downs. The red flags adoptive parents should watch. How Stacy used Facebook to find her adoption match. The 3 major paths of adoption. The pros and cons of using an agency. The home study process and what it means to the adoption. Lessons Stacy learned during her first adoption effort. Stacy’s nightmarish first experience with birth parents. Why adoption attorneys are a simpler path to adoption but also the most expensive. The cost of Stacy’s successful adoption. The illusion of security agencies give and what to expect. International adoption vs. domestic adoption. What does “open adoption” mean? Stacy’s final advice to women considering this path to motherhood. Resources This modern love episode Mothertobaby.org an organization giving information about drug and alcohol exposure Michelle Hughes and Bridge Communications adoption attorneys that help Single moms by choice Sign up to be a podcast guest Motherhood Reimagined Website

My guest today is Marni, a single-mother-by-choice who chose the path when the community wasn’t very accessible. She does an excellent job of painting what it was like twelve years ago and the challenges of finding donors. Marni needed both an egg donor and a sperm donor to conceive her son. At the time of Marni’s process, her choices were very limited and sperm donors were always anonymous. She explains how she chose her donors and why she actually had to fight for her sperm donor in the end. She expresses how much the community has changed since her process. The community is much easier to reach out to now. Marni has also raised her son largely on her own away from her family. We discuss the importance of “getting over yourself” and asking for help. It doesn’t mean you are weak. She is also proof that you don’t need family support to raise a child, a common stumbling block for some women. Marni offers a unique perspective on the single-mother-by-choice path. She chose her path at a time when it was not a favorable option, culturally speaking. Which makes it a testament to the drive and resilience of Marni and the community around her. Some highlights of today’s conversation: Marni’s early ideas of motherhood. Why she waited till 40 to try to conceive. The failed IUIs (Intrauterine inseminations) and the switch to IVF (In vitro fertilization.) Deciding to continue with an egg donor instead of adoption. How Marni chose her egg and sperm donors. Why she had to fight to get the same sperm donor as a college friend. What led to the decision to be open and honest with her son about his conception. Why every woman should have the option to stay at home (and why Marni doesn’t.) Asking for help and finding a supportive community to help you. The burden of being both good cop and bad cop. Why you don’t need family close to raise a child and how to make it work. Resources Sign up to be a podcast guest Motherhood Reimagined Website Motherhood Reimagined Tribe Motherhood Reimagined: When Becoming a Mother Doesn’t Go As Planned: A Memoir by Sarah Kowalski Sarah’s email Thank you for joining us for Motherhood Reimagined. You can contact us through the website or Twi

Christine is a firefighter and the single mother of a 10-year-old and a 13-year-old. In today’s interview, she shares about the difference between the way she pictured her adult life growing up and the way her adult life actually played out. She talks about moving from the Midwest to California, changing careers, delaying motherhood, and then finally deciding to become pregnant via IUI. Christine talks about her lightbulb moment – the moment she realized that she would be OK if she never found a partner and got married, but that she’d always regret it if she didn’t have children. She describes how that realization led her to become a single-mother-by-choice. In today’s discussion, Christine talks about how her friends and support network factored into her decision to have children and the process of becoming pregnant. She explains how being a single mother has shaped her relationship with her children, and how she balances a career as a firefighter with being a single mother of two. Christine believes that it’s important to remember that families come in all sorts of varieties and that the important thing is the love that family members have for each other. Her story emphasizes the importance of embracing families of all kinds. Some highlights of today’s conversation: Christine’s early life and dreams of being a mother Christine’s move from the Midwest to California and career changes How Christine came to the conclusion that it was time to pursue motherhood Christine’s experience using a donor to become pregnant How Christine’s friends helped her narrow down her donor choices The financial aspects of getting pregnant via IUI The differences between being a single mother by choice or a single mother not by choice The thing that most surprised Christine about her path How Christine thinks being single has shaped her relationship with her kids How Christine would advise other moms Juggling a career as a firefighter with raising kids How Christine settled on having two kids &nb

Signe Fjord is a single-mother-by-choice who has used her experience of building a family to counsel women considering alternatives paths to motherhood and to write children books. Signe’s books celebrate family in all of its forms. Signe grew up hearing fairy tales and wishing for her life to be a fairy tale. As an adult, Sign feels that promoting fairy tales is harmful to children and grown-ups alike. Signe tells me about her decision to become a single-mother-by-choice and the long process that lead to her beautiful seven-year-old daughter. She tells me how she picked her sperm donor, and she stresses that the donor was just a small detail. Signe has written three books, Who is Picking Me Up?, Mommy and the Love Child, and Solo Mom to a Donor Child. She also continues to write to help her daughter and the other children in their life understand that families come in many shapes and sizes. Signe has given the single-motherhood-by-choice community some wonderful resources. She has some excellent points about living in the reality of family. Signe feels that many women need to change their mindset toward single motherhood. Donor-aided births are not failures or a plan B, all families should be celebrated. This a wonderful point that many women on an unconventional path to motherhood need to hear. Some highlights of today’s conversation: Signe’s early life and love of fairy tales. How fairy tales colored her view of family. Signe’s decision to be a single-mother-by-choice and the death of her “dream.” How she chose her sperm donor. The 4 IUI (Intrauterine insemination) treatments and the change in sperm donor. Why it’s okay to be picky about a sperm donor (and why it really doesn’t matter.) How Signe counsels other single mothers. The change in mindset Signe thinks all women need before choosing single motherhood. Having a life vs. creating a life The importance of asking for help. How you can be a resource to other moms and help each other. Signe’s daughter’s reaction to her conception. Signe’s definition of family. How to celebrate the family you are given. Resources Happy Solo Mom Motherhood Reimagined Website

At the age of 38, Elena had her eggs frozen, by her early 40s, she was using those eggs and a sperm donor to conceive a child. She is now the proud mother of a healthy 3-year-old girl. Like most women, Elena had her own ideas of how motherhood was going to be but life went another direction. We discuss how Elena was able to move past her expectations of motherhood. She recommends the benefits of therapy and finding people you can trust to listen and help you sort through the complex emotions that come with this alternative path to motherhood. Elena shares what motherhood has been like for her and what she would tell other women considering the single-motherhood-by-choice path. The joy she feels when she discusses her daughter is really infectious. She truly enjoys the single-mother-by-choice path and is a heart-warming reminder that there is no “right” or “wrong” way to build a family. Some highlights of today’s conversation: Elena’s early ideas of motherhood. The decision to freeze her eggs and the realization she would need them. How therapy helped her let go of her expectations of motherhood. Why you should look for sperm donors that share similar traits to you. The importance of knowing the medical history of a sperm donor. Why Elena is taking the honest approach with her daughter regarding her conception. The overwhelming depth of love Elena feels for her daughter. How being an older and single mother creates appreciation. Why Elena feels she is more comfortable with motherhood. The unexpected exhaustion that comes with motherhood. Elena’s advice to other single-mothers-by-choice. How to find a support group and ask for the help you need. How Motherhood Reimagined is helping the alternative motherhood community. Resources Motherhood Reimagined Website Motherhood Reimagined Tribe Motherhood Reimagined: When Becoming a Mother Doesn’t Go As Planned: A Memoir by Sarah Kowalski Thank you for joining us for Motherhood Reimagined. You can contact us through the website or Twitter, Pinterest,

My guest today is Ann, a single-mother-by-choice who was faced with the heart-wrenching decision to not carry triplets. She shares her story and all the reasons she made her difficult choice. We hear the details of her 8-month fertility process and in hindsight what she wishes she would have asked and considered beforehand. Ann was 31 when she realized she was in a relationship just to have a baby. When she learned her partner was sterile, she realized that she only wanted a baby, not the man. So began her path to single-motherhood-by choice. Ann researched her options and found a fertility clinic that had a good track record. However, it was a staunch pro-life clinic, that would become an issue as Ann’s pregnancy continued. She also has a warning about the procedure known as ICSI (Intracytoplasmic Sperm Injection.) A process that sounded like a good idea at the time but had Ann known all the facts about it, she would have said no. Ann discusses the birth of her twins and her early reluctance to ask for help from family and friends. She is very open about her battle with postpartum depression. We discuss her family’s response to her difficult situation and how they pulled together to give her a warm and supportive community. Ann wants women to be proactive in their choice of a fertility clinic. Ask questions, do the research, and know exactly what’s going to happen to your body. She encourages openness and honesty with family and friends. She also has some red flags that women should consider when they find themselves in a relationship just for a baby. Some highlights of today’s conversation: Ann’s “white picket fence” dream. Her time in the military and how it changed her outlook on relationships. The event that opened her eyes to the single-mother-by-choice path. How Ann chose her fertility clinic. How she chose her sperm donor. The painful egg extraction that began the process. Ann’s surprising results and the discovery of triplets. Her struggle with the decision to have twins. The lack of information about her situation. Why Ann would have said no to an ICSI procedure if she knew all the facts. Why she chose to reduce her embryos. The surprising support from her family. Why you need to know if your clinic is pro-life or pro-choice. Ann’s struggle in the newborn stage and how she coped. Ann’s advice to women who want a child and not their current partner. Why single-motherhood-by-choice doesn’t have to be lonely.

I’m happy to welcome Jill to the podcast. Jill is a life coach and mentor for people facing big life-altering decisions. Her favorite topic to address is solo parenting. Jill is a single-mother-by-choice who had a definite idea of what her life was supposed to be. Jill is involved with an organization called Uncharted You. She shares what it was like to let go of her “fairy tale” and move forward in becoming the proud mother of her now healthy and thriving son. Jill tried IUI (Intrauterine insemination) early on in her journey but she miscarried. She explores that disappointment with me and focuses more on how she carried on with her dream for motherhood. Although Jill achieved her dream through egg and sperm donation, today’s episode is more so about letting go of your own expectations of motherhood and the reality that motherhood doesn’t end with the release form from the hospital. Some highlights of today’s conversation: Jill’s “fairy tale” and why she struggled with it. Her failed pregnancy and the 3-year process. How Jill let go of her fear, expectations, and the fairy tale. How she stayed focus on her goal. The powerful mother-by-choice community. How Jill’s journey led to personal growth. The pros and cons of solo parenting. There is no final destination as a mom. Don’t take yourself too seriously. Why the Family Book is a helpful resource. Let go of perfection and aim for progress. Alternative paths to motherhood are valid paths. Keep moving forward on your journey. Resources Motherhood Reimagined Website Motherhood Reimagined Tribe Motherhood Reimagined: When Becoming a Mother Doesn’t Go As Planned: A Memoir by Sarah Kowalski Uncharted You Jill’s email The Family Book by Todd Parr Thank you for joining us for Motherhood Reimagined. You can contact us through the website or Twitt

Gail Sexton Anderson is the CEO and founder of Donor Concierge, an organization that helps clients find egg and sperm donors. Gail explains how her organization approaches the sensitive topic of egg and sperm donation and surrogacy. She also offers great advice for women currently looking for donors or surrogates. Gail shares her observations of common hang-ups clients have regarding the donor and surrogacy process. She suggests ways to make the process more comfortable for the donor and the client, and how her organization fits into the system established by several agencies around the country. Some highlights of today’s conversation: Why Gail began Donor Concierge. The agencies and physicians Donor Concierge work with in tandem. How Donor Concierge helps their clients before and during the process. Gail’s advice for women looking for a gestational carrier. Her advice for women looking for egg and sperm donors. How Donor Concierge helps with the surrogacy process. The facts Gail thinks clients need to consider in the beginning. The pros and cons of using first-time donors. Tips for meeting a potential donor. The importance of transparency within your family and knowing what is best for your situation. Gail’s final advice to the audience. Resources Donor Concierge Motherhood Reimagined Website Motherhood Reimagined Tribe Motherhood Reimagined: When Becoming a Mother Doesn’t Go As Planned: A Memoir by Sarah Kowalski Thank you for joining us for Motherhood Reimagined. You can contact us through the website or Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram, and Facebook. Also, consider joining our Motherhood Reimagined Tribe to connect with other women just like you. Please join us for our next episode when we talk to another inspirational mother! Quotes:

Stacy is a single mother by choice who had a grueling eight-year journey to motherhood. She shares her struggles with infertility and the disappointments regarding the adoption and surrogacy processes. She researched every avenue available to her and suffered many miscarriages. In the end, the surrogacy process and adoption process paid off and she became the proud mother of two children. One through surrogacy and one through adoption. Stacy explores her emotions during this time. She also discusses the stigmas as well as the hidden angels she found during her journey. There are pearls of wisdom in this episode for every mother and every woman wanting to be a mother. Some highlights of today’s conversation: Stacy’s image of motherhood in the beginning. The string of miscarriages and hysterectomy that were a turning point. The avenues Stacy explored such as adoption and surrogacy. The failed attempts Stacy had to overcome. The day Stacy got the phone call about her two children –the 24 hours that ended her 8 year journey to motherhood with two kids. How not to give up on your desire to be a mother. The grieving process Stacy went through when letting go of the idea of biological children. The stigma regarding adopted children versus biological children. Stacy’s encouragement to future single-mothers-by-choice. What she likes about motherhood and what she doesn’t. Stacy’s parting advice to the audience. Resources Motherhood Reimagined Website Motherhood Reimagined Tribe Motherhood Reimagined: When Becoming a Mother Doesn’t Go As Planned: A Memoir by Sarah Kowalski Thank you for joining us for Motherhood Reimagined. You can contact us through the website or Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram, and Facebook. Also, consider joining our Motherhood Reimagined Tribe to connect with other women just like you. Please join us for our next episode when we talk

Welcome to Motherhood Reimagined, the podcast that helps women who are choosing single motherhood to find a community and helpful resources to prepare for unconventional paths to motherhood. My guest today is Sige Weisman, a therapist who is currently expecting her first child via a natural IUI (intrauterine insemination.) Sige shares why she decided to leave a loving, yet unready relationship to pursue single motherhood. She explores her connection to love and family and how the IUI path has changed her thinking. She encourages women to let go of their fear of single motherhood and consider an unconventional pregnancy method. We also acknowledge the serious questions a woman needs to ask herself before going through the process. Sige is at an interesting crossroads that many women find themselves. I think Sige’s story is relatable for a lot of women and is exciting and beautiful. If you have a takeaway from today, let it be don’t let your desire for children take a backseat to a relationship. Some highlights of today’s conversation: Sige’s plans for her life in her early 20s. The conversation that made her consider an alternative path to motherhood. Sige’s plans to freeze her eggs and why it wasn’t an option for her. The serious relationship that was the catalyst to begin her IUI journey. How Sige decided to move forward with her motherhood path without a partner. How Sige separated her desire for children from her desire for romance. What she considered when choosing her donor. How Sige feels about being days away from motherhood. The loneliness that comes with single motherhood. Sige’s master’s research about middle age women’s attitudes about motherhood. The negative reactions to her pregnancy and questions she still needs to ask herself. Why Sige considers herself privileged to take this path to motherhood. Resources SF Women's Therapy California Cryobank Motherhood Reimagined website Motherhood Reimagined: When Becoming a Mother Doesn’t Go As Planned: A Memoir by Sarah Kowalski Thank you for joining us for Motherhood Reimagined. You can contact us through the website or Twitter, Pinterest

Abby is a twice single mother by choice. She shares her story about choosing the sperm donor path and why she chose to give the gift of an embryo to another hopeful mother. Abby compares her two pregnancies and discusses the trouble of having two children along with the joy of it. She offers advice to other mothers considering having a second child and tells a really touching story about embryo donation and what it has meant to her family. Some highlights of today’s conversation: Abby’s expectations for her family life. The events that lead to Abby’s decision to use a sperm donor. The lab issues and the rushed decision about her sperm donor at the last minute. Abby’s second pregnancy and how it differed from the first. Why Abby prefers single motherhood and doesn’t regret it. What Abby likes about motherhood and what she doesn’t. Why Abby decided to be an embryo donor. The process of donating the embryo and the impact on her family. Resources Motherhood Reimagined Website Motherhood Reimagined Tribe Motherhood Reimagined: When Becoming a Mother Doesn’t Go As Planned: A Memoir by Sarah Kowalski Thank you for joining us for Motherhood Reimagined. You can contact us through the website or Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram, and Facebook. Also, consider joining our Motherhood Reimagined Tribe to connect with other women just like you. Please join us for our next episode when we talk to another inspirational mother!

Welcome to Motherhood Reimagined, the podcast that helps women who are choosing single motherhood to find a community and helpful resources to prepare for unconventional paths to motherhood. My guest today is Janice Held, she is an architect who decided to conceive a child via a sperm and egg donor. Janice shares how her thinking changed during the donor process and how she soldiered on even when things didn’t go smoothly. We discuss her expectations of motherhood and the misconceptions that held her back from taking the donor path. We also cover the importance of having a support system during the donor process. Janice shares a very uplifting and all too common experience. The largest lesson I think listeners can take away from this episode is, listen to yourself, connect with yourself and do what you feel is best for you. Some highlights of today’s conversation: Janice’s early years and original plans for motherhood. What led to her decision to use both sperm and egg donor? Why Janice wanted to carry her own child. The fears and bias that kept Janice moving forward in the process. How she overcame those fears and bias. How meditation helped Janice to cope with the donor process.How Janice feels about having had a child at an older age. The importance of listening to yourself and knowing what you want. The new definition of family and how society is adjusting. Resources California Cryobank Motherhood Reimagined website Motherhood Reimagined: When Becoming a Mother Doesn’t Go As Planned: A Memoir by Sarah Kowalski Shady Grove Fertility Thank you for joining us for Motherhood Reimagined. You can contact us through the website or Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram, and Facebook. Please join us for our next episode when we talk to another inspirational mother!

Welcome the first episode of the Motherhood Reimagined podcast! I am your host Sarah Kowalski. I am an author, life coach, fertility doula, a certified Feldenkrais method practitioner, and Qigong instructor. I started this podcast as a way to unite women who are considering alternative paths to motherhood. I chose the “single mother by choice” path for myself and it has been one of my best decisions. Many women have personal bias and fears that keep them from being a mother. I want to help these women. I want to celebrate motherhood in all its forms. During this episode, I tell you my story. How I came to this unconventional path and how I hope to inspire and encourage my listeners to follow their hearts. Some highlights of today’s conversation: What the term “single mother by choice” means. My early ideas of motherhood and family. My journey to self-growth. My alternative path to motherhood. The mothers who are featured on my podcast. How my guests chose their sperm and egg donors and other standard questions I will ask on my show. Resources Motherhood Reimagined Website Motherhood Reimagined Tribe Motherhood Reimagined: When Becoming a Mother Doesn’t Go As Planned: A Memoir by Sarah Kowalski Thank you for joining us for Motherhood Reimagined. You can contact us through the website or Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram, and Facebook. Please join us for our next episode when we talk to another inspirational mother!