Phone Wallet Keys David Ortiz

The brothers return after another long hiatus to discuss facial hair, Philadelphia, but mostly Kyrie Irving's recent suspension for "anti-semitism" and all the implications surrounding it.

The Brothers have reconciled and returned to talk Celtics, up 2-1 in the NBA finals...

The Boston Brothers return to discuss the NBA players' strike and its implications on today's political moment. They then digress into a robust discussion about title chances. Happy to be back!!

We decided to do a throw-back Phone Wallet Key David Ortiz episode and talk sports! But you know, ambivalently. We talk Cam Newton on the patriots, will the Nba reboot distract from black lives matter or propel it even further, how the "Redskins" originated from Boston, and last from Occupy City Hall: participitory democracy takes on the naked cowboy.  Support the podcast at www.patreon.com/phonewalletkeysdavidortiz

We are joined once again by our estimable friend Roger--martial arts and public health expert.  We catch up on covid and America's failure as a society in general.  

After catching each other up on the last week of protests and how the world is changing accordingly, my brother and I debate whether or not its ok to talk to cops during a protest.  

Dispatch from the American Rebellion

Season 4 Episode 10 includes a fearless confrontation of Michael Jordan as presented by The Last Dance documentary.  We also talk about our own gambling history, contact tracing of syphilis, and what the Tom Brady documentary will inevitably be like.  Head on over to www.patreon.com/phonewalletkeysdavidortiz to become a patron and hear this premium episode and others in their entirety.  Alternatively, you can just ask and we'll send you the full mp3 of this one, its pretty good.  See you soon!    

We're stealing land.  Hear all about our adverse possession adventure and how you can start your own.  And also just hows its going, its been a while.  Hear the full episode by becoming our patron at www.patreon.com/phonewalletkeysdavidortiz 

Part two: Roger the martial arts expert also happens to be an expert on governmental pandemic response.  We talk about the acute failures of this moment and the broader history of failure that preceded it.  This episode is available for everyone but the next one won't be, check out www.patreon.com/phonewalletkeysdavidortiz to find out more about our premium episodes.

We had a very special guest for this two-part episode of Phone Wallet Keys David Ortiz.  His name is Roger, he is a genius martial artist and used to work for a certain government agency that specializes in pandemic response...  In this first part of the episode we pretty much exclusively talk martial arts, part two is coming up and is all about the government's failed response to cover-19.  I think this is our 40th episode!  To help support the podcast and ensure 40 more episodes head over to www.patreon.com/phonewalletkeysdavidortiz for a whole bunch of bonus material.  

Check out www.patreon.com/phonewalletkeysdavidortiz to become a patron and hear this premium episode in full.  We take a deep dive into the Celtics 2008 championship run, including an epic duel with Lebron James in Game 7 and an unforgettable finals matchup with LA.  In the preview we discuss the untimely death of Kobe Bryant and what the appropriate response should have been.  Enjoy, and thanks for your support!

To hear this episode in its entirety, become a patron at www.patreon.com/phonewalletkeysdavidortiz.  5$ a month gets you access to all our premium episodes and a bunch of other stuff! Check it out, thank you for supporting. This episode was recoded minutes after finding out Bernie Sanders had suspended his presidential campaign.  It is raw, incoherent, and filled with impotent rage.  Beware!  

One of the brothers gets Covid-19 and lives to tell the tale.  Don't forget to check out our patreon page and support the podcast by becoming our Patron: www.patreon.com/phonewalletkeysdavidortiz

In this premium episode we don't discuss a single word of sports.  We swap quarantine troubles, childhood dirty house traumas, and a profound Biden-centered anxiety.  Only available in full to our patrons, learn more at www.patreon.com/phonewalletkeysdavidortiz.  We'll be back soon with an episode for everyone.  

This is a preview of our new episode which is a deep dive into Superbowl 51: Patriots vs Falcons.  It is available in full on www.patreon.com/phonewalletkeysdavidortiz .  We can't work any more so we are launching a Patron program.  There is still going to be 2 free Phone Wallet Keys David Ortiz episodes a month but we'll have additional premium episodes (like this one) and some other fun stuff on our patreon page.  Please check it out and support us.  Thank you!

We have arisen with a vengeance and are very mad at: Corona Virus, baby boomers, John Henry but not surprisingly not really mad about Brady... It's complicated.   

Live from Morocco!  The Patriots lost, Tom Brady and the Gellers at Cafe Gratitude, the Celtics are fun, and we're together in morocco. 

Episode 7 The Geller brothers trade their favorite Boston Sports championship celebration.  Followed by give their thoughts on Kevin Garnett in the new Safdie Brothers' movie Uncut Gems.  Then they turn to UFC and the recent British election. Finally they turn to current events for the Patriots, Red Sox, and Celtics.  

~New Episode alert~

The Brothers return from a bye week or two to talk about the Celtics hot start, weird celtics twitter for dummies, athletes on Veterans Day, Bernie Sanders on Israel, Warren tacking right, Trump's panic attack, Mason Rudolph's comeuppance, the Kaepernick saga continuing, the Patriots prospects for a deep playoff run, and Max's concert protests.  Rejoice!   "On Veteran's Day I think about the victims of US foreign wars. I think about the million dead Iraqis. And I worry that my participation in supporting our troops is manufacturing consent for the next dirty war against brown people that my country wants to wage for its own enrichment."--Jaylen Brown [or at least what we wish Jaylen Brown had said, damn the consequences]

Trolls and disappointed parents, more thoughts on the NBA and China, deep dive on the Celtics roster, what it means to hate watch, the Patriots have greatest defense of all time, the truth behind the Yankees latent fascism, and the Portland Timbers anti-fascist stand.  

This is a weird one.  Actual car talk, mental health deep dives, a pinch of football, fraternal hollering, US imperialism, and more reasons to hate the yankees... Ladies and Gentlemen, Phone Wallet Keys David Ortiz!

The brothers had to scrap their first attempt at episode 2 because they spent the entire time praising a certain mercurial football star who turned out to be a rapist so a few weeks later they give it another go.  Topics include: Sam's new bartending job, boring British political takes, Yang-gang and circumcision, Antonio Brown and the Patriots, the difference between Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen's respective ties to white nationalism.  

The Brothers have returned from going underground after the assassination attempt on their beloved David Ortiz.  Finally assured that the conspirators were not also looking for the Geller Brothers, they have surfaced and delivered a gem to start off their third season.  Topics include: the Patriots (nominally), Boston straight pride parade, USA's reliance on Boston for the FIBA world cup and other things, car talk, drugging parents, the inability of some men to apologize, and what to expect in season 3. Thanks for tuning in! 

The brothers are back with some much needed Stanley Cup analysis to shake up the karma globe from Bruins as they attempt an epic comeback.  Then they spend the rest of the episode decompressing from the failed Boston Slam, advocating for Women's World Cup (sort of), breaking down the fat shaming of the Heavyweight Boxing Champ, and taking aim at Barstool Sports, the Boston straight pride parade, and other traditional misogynist and racist Boston sports media.  Welcome back, its been too long.

Last thoughts(?) on THE BOSTON SLAM!!!!

"It would be like building a monument to the sky" Join the brothers from Boston as we inch closer and closer to the so-called Boston Slam.  These are heady times folks, but the brothers are here to hold hands and unpack it all for you.  It's the second round of the playoffs for the Bruins and Celtics.  The end is nigh.   3:00--The Bruins path is clear, playoff hockey is completely insane. 22:00--Boston slam implication, have they always hated us?  Who is the Captain Ahab of Boston Sports? 30:23--The Celtics are looking elite 49:00--Does this episode suck?  

The Brothers are back without a moment to spare.  The Celtics and Bruins are in the playoffs, there was another Boston marathon, Gronk retired and then permanently dented the Lombardi Trophy, The Red Sox are the worst team in the league.  Who can the world turn to in times such as these?  Phone Wallet Keys David Ortiz! The Triumphant return.  Thanks for sticking it out.

Still high of the Superbowl victory, the brothers turn their attention to their old foe Robert Kraft and weigh in on his involvement in a prostitution scandal.  Next they take on the Celtics dismal play of late and wonder if it's still possible to turn things around, and if so, how?  Thanks for listening! @phonewalletkeysdavidortiz

In the aftermath of Patriots glory, the Brothers recount their respective Super Bowl experiences--one from half the world away and the other from the 50 yard line.  If you've ever wondered what it feels like watch your team win the Super Bowl live in person, especially if you're not the kind of person who would ordinarily attend an event like that, this is the episode for you.  The Brothers hash out all best moments of the game, and say goodbye to a very memorable football season, while also debating the legacy of this Patriots team and players.  Thanks for joining!  Tune in next week as they shift gears towards the Celtics and Bruins and more.  @phonewalletkeysdavidortiz

Superbowl Preview!!!

In Episode 18 the brothers revel in their kaleidoscopic recollections from the AFC championship game where the Patriots defeated the Chiefs in overtime.  It was a game for the ages and the episode pays it its full due.  After cycling through the many high and low moments and the different heroes of the game itself, the brothers attempt to put it in its historical context. At 45:30 they go through all 13 AFC championships of the Brady Belichick era in an effort to determine if this was the greatest win of them all.  Finally, at 53:30 they shift gears so Max can report back on what it was like to see the Celtics live in Atlanta and why Marcus Smart blew his top and got ejected.  Enjoy the episode, tell a friend, and we'll see you at the Super Bowl! 

Rise and shine early for the recording of episode 17, in which the brothers recap the Patriots victory in the divisional playoffs and dive deep looking ahead to our chances against the Chiefs in the AFC championship game.  Along the way they ponder the difference between being the face of the NFL's racial prejudices versus being the face of the NFL's toxic masculinity, talk about the proper way to watch a playoff-run (hint: avoid Super Bowl parties), the ethics of being a red-faced angry man who has 8 children, all before stopping briefly at the end to check in on the Bruins and Celtics.  Thanks for listening! Follow on twitter @phonewalletkeysdavidortiz

@phonewalletkeysdavidortiz The Brothers are back and mad at each other and also filled with love and excitement. A question about expectations for the Patriots' playoffs leads the brothers to rank every losing season according to how much they should have won the Super Bowl. They use that as a springboard to dive into all things Patriots playoffs and then onto the Celtics and Bruins, stopping along the way to call out Kraft's zionism, Schilling's racism, a coded language in sports in general, to praise face licking and to reveal an irrational hatred of Canada.  Ranking the Patriots lost seasons--4:20 What are the chances of a deep playoff run this winter, and who does it depend on?--18:00 Bob Kraft's crimes against humanity-30:00 The Celtics have finally started clicking!-35:00 The Bruins are too!-48:35

The brothers host episode 15 in person together in New York and take a few phone calls from loyal listeners. Scott Yanko joins to talk about why we're confident about the Patriots in the playoffs-4:20 Zoe Samudzi calls in to discuss race and mental health issues in the Josh Gordon saga and sports in general--35:50 Isaac Eger joins to talk basketball, the biggest concern for the Celtics, Lebron James and more-49:33 Finally the Brothers personal Mother and Father call in unwittingly and are coerced into giving some feedback about Phone Wallet Keys David Ortiz-1:17:35

The Brothers make their triumphant return to the podcast for a thrilling and a little glum episode surveying the damage of the Patriots and Celtics seasons so far. The Patriots' playoff hopes rest on... 4:30 A live, breaking news update--What it sounds like to learn that Josh Gordon is stepping away for the rest of the season...  9:30 Is there still time for "ubuntu" redux? 19:29 Too depressed to go on talking Boston sports the brothers switched gear after a little Bruins talk, to catch up with each other about a backwoods amateur pro-wrestling event, a college football calamity, a soccer hooligan riot, and much more.  Listen to the episode and welcome them back on twitter: @phonewalletkeysdavidortiz    

Episode 12 of Phone Wallet Keys David Ortiz finds the brothers still an ocean apart, unable to record, and therefore in need of a lifeline.  Enter Laura and Tess Brown-Lavoie. Two Boston sisters who chart their history as Boston sports fans to the present moment where they are largely ambivalent (except for their adoration of Kyrie's artistic balletics). Their story is central to the cannon of Phone Wallet Keys David Ortiz and we are lucky to be able to include it. Find out why and enjoy the journey. The brothers will be back next week! 

As the Geller Brothers continue to be separated and unable to record, they turn the reigns over to their trusty brother companions Matt and John Gioia to guest-host a special episode about the Red Sox 2018 season and championship.  It's a true treat.  The Geller brothers will return soon, until then follow us @phonewalletkeysdavidortiz on instagram and twitter.   

A special Thanksgiving edition of Phone Wallet Keys David Ortiz wherein the brothers find themselves in the O2 Arena in London before the second night of Wet/Florence and The Machine.   Dispatch from the nosebleed seats--0:58 Backstage, if Phone Wallet Keys David Ortiz was a British Podcast--7:50 State of the Celtics Union, how did we get here and what can we do about it--19:25 SPECIAL GUEST ALERT! The Brothers are joined by British rock star and FATM guitarist Rob Ackroyd to discuss some soccer--32:11 The Patriots Super Bowl path--45:00 @phonewalletkeysdavidortiz

Recapping the Patriots victory Sunday night against the Packers--6:00 Is there a market for racism in sports? What can we do to thwart it?--14:00 The problem with looking to athletes for political cues--19:25 What the Pentagon buys when they invest in sport--24:18 Nationalize our sports teams and socialize their profits--29:00 Are the Celtics trying to win right now or are they focusing on putting themselves in position to win down the road in the playoffs?--37:00 @phonewalletkeysdavidortiz

@phonewalletkeysdavidortiz instagram twitter etc The Brothers are back and they are champions again. But the struggle is far from over, the racist Boston sports media is still racist, sports are still problematic and possibly tied to horrible things like the rise of fascism in Brazil etc.  Join the brothers as they recap the World Series triumph and look ahead on their quest to sweep the major championships for Boston sports and catalyze an overthrow of global capitalism and the systems of oppression that uphold it.  Like and subscribe, follow them on the internet, get in touch, tell a friend!  Thanks for listening.

t: @walletkeysortiz  i:phonewalletkeysdavidortiz Episode 8 finds our heroes straddling World Series glory but first... Is this Patriots season more frustrating than usual? Even though we've righted the ship? 2:09 This Celtics season is definitely frustrating even though we'll probably right the ship... 12:05 THE RED SOX ARE IN THE WORLD SERIES --looking ahead to the matchup with the scab loser Dodgers: 28:39 --looking back at the first two games: 38:00 Waxing philosophical about sports and politics: 58:00

Moments after the Red Sox win the ALCS the Brothers record episode 7 recapping an unbelievable matchup and looking forward to the World Series.   Time for the cowardly racist Boston Sports Media to eat crow-4:00 Game 4 joins the Pantheon of Red Sox playoff wins--8:00 Who do you want to see in the World series? 23:23 The Celtics are undefeated 33:33  

A marathon 2-part episode! T: @walletkeysortiz I: @phonewalletkeysdavidortiz The Brothers recap beheading the Yankees and the start of the ALCS 7:51 Max puts Eric Dickerson and the racist Boston sports media on blast 22:40 Reliving a thrilling Patriots victory in the biggest game of the season 31:46 Part two-The NBA season begins tonight! Celtics team preview 49:06 Max confuses memories in order to get off the hook for childhood bad behavior 1:11:11

twitter: @walletkeysortiz insta: @phonewalletkeysdavidortiz 1:45 Reliving the most lopsided postseason win in Red Sox/Yankees history 19:15 Patriots face the toughest test of the season against the Chiefs on Sunday: "They'll flinch first" 24:40 J.R. Smith's attempted "suicide by Marcus Smart" and other Celts preseason thoughts 36:53 The Brothers take on the Bruins and "Pansexual libertine Brad Marchand" 40:06 Racist Connor Mcgregor gets his ass kicked by Khabib in UFC  

Twitter: @walletkeysortiz   Instagram: @phonewalletkeysdavidortiz 2:50 Learning about Anti-facist tactics from the Red Sox Yankees rivalry 10:50 But are we just assholes screaming "Yankees suck" all the time? 14:02 No, the Yankees crossed a picketline in Boston, they actually suck. 17:00 Sing Goddess the Wrath of the Red Sox (roster analysis of the upcoming ALDS) 26:45  The Patriots offense finally arrives against the Cults. 34:43 NFL Crimes Against Humanity of the week: Jim Irsay buying justice   

1:00-16:00--The Brothers lay out the vision for Phone Wallet Keys David Ortiz 17:23--Anticipating a Red Sox vs Yankees playoff series 25:00--The Patriots season turns again 35:30-45:00--NFL Crimes Against Humanity: Cities, stadiums, and citizens against billionaire sports franchises 46:00--Celtics preseason and Jimmy Butler trade rumors    

1:53 Dark Days for Pats Fans 26:43 The NFL's Crime Against Humanity Of The Week 35:23 Red Sox Getting Ready for the Playoffs, Bullpen Issues Linger 41:57 The Boston Banner Heist and problematic fetishization of Boston accents 56:56 The Week in Brother Sports News

A bad night in Yankee Stadium: 1:11 Patriots woes: 16:44 The NFL's Crimes Against Humanity: 23:40 2018 Pats will have the best offense of all time: 32:00 Sun Tzu's Celtics starting five: 39:40 How Boston Sports can save the world: 48:06