Remembering A Life

No two people grieve alike, but an autistic adult may experience and react to grief in unique ways that others may not understand. Dr. Kenneth Doka and Lisa Morgan help us better understand how to support an autistic adult who is grieving and how to approach grief as an autistic adult.

Honoring the life of a loved one takes many forms as we strive to find ways to do so in a way that is reflective of their interests, values and legacy. If a loved one enjoyed spending time outdoors, a memorial tree may be the perfect tribute. Max Anderson from the Arbor Day Foundation joins us to discuss this meaningful idea for a living memorial.

Funeral directors, of course, help families after a loved one has died and guide them in planning a meaningful service so family and friends can gather to say goodbye and begin to mourn. But there's much more to the profession than meets the eye. Funeral professionals LaShonda Martin and Timothy McLoone join us for an eye-opening discussion about the life of a funeral professional.

When Brian Rea first began jotting down notes and drawings about the things Death might do if given the time, little did he know they would become a book that would inspire so many to live their best lives. Poignant and humorous, Death Wins a Goldfish, Reflections from a Grim Reaper's Yearlong Sabbatical, invites us to make the most of the big - and more importantly, little - moments in our lives.

The grief we experience after the death of a friend can be very isolating in a society that often minimizes the significance of a non-family loss, leading to complex, disenfranchised grief. Death educator Dr. Sara Murphy joins us to talk about how we can be present and supportive when someone we care about experiences the death of a friend.

Grief can be difficult for anyone who has experienced a loss, but grief following the death of a loved one to suicide can be particularly complex. Shannon Donnick, Senior Manager of Loss & Healing Programs for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, joins us to talk about this unique kind of loss and how we can move forward on our grief journey in healthy ways.

Author and cemetery expert Loren Rhoads takes us on a journey to discover more about the final resting places of our ancestors, other family and friends - perhaps even our own. Loren helps us consider how visiting a cemetery can not only help us feel closer to loved ones who have died, but also give us a better understanding of the history of our families, the world around us, and our place in it.

In her book, From Scratch, A Memoir of Love, Sicily, and Finding Home, producer, actor and author Tembi Locke shares the poignant love story of her life with her husband Saro, his terminal illness and how she and her daughter Zoela found ways to move forward in their grief following his death. Tembi joined us to share her very personal story about life, love and loss.

We often hear about therapy dogs in nursing homes or hospices, but, increasingly, therapy dogs are also finding themselves at home in local funeral homes. Beth Johnson from Ultimate Canine, and Bob Prout and Julia Prout from Prout Funeral Home in New Jersey, join us to talk about the Prout's therapy dog, Morris V. Prout, and how his training helped him provide comfort to people who are grieving.

Dr. Sara Murphy joins us to discuss the incredible toll mass-fatality events are having on each of us personally and collectively as a nation. Recorded shortly after the mass shootings at Tops Friendly Markets in Buffalo, New York, and at Robb Elementary School in Uvalde, Texas, this episode explores how we can try to move forward in our grief following these and other mass-fatality events.

Claire Bidwell Smith, therapist, grief expert and author of three books, returns to the Remembering A Life podcast to talk about her book The Rules of Inheritance, a memoir about the years before and after the deaths of both of her parents. In this episode we explore the unique grief that follows the death of a parent and how Claire, having lost both parents by age 25, began and continues on her complicated grief journey. We'll also talk about how she keeps the memories of her parents alive for herself and her children who were never able to meet their grandparents.

Doug Middleton, a free agent safety in the National Football League, played college football at Appalachian State and signed with the New York Jets as an undrafted free agent in 2016. Following the death of his best friend AJ by suicide, Doug embarked on a mission to raise awareness of the importance of taking care of one's mental health, concentrating on the African-American community and student athletes. To that end, he founded Dream the Impossible (dreamtheimpossible.org). The work he does is inspiring and is making a difference in the lives of thousands of people.

We often think about to whom we will leave what we consider our most valued possessions – our jewelry, books, artwork, or other meaningful items – after we die. But what about our personal values, the lessons we've learned, and our dreams for others? Dr. Barry Baines invites us to consider how writing an ethical will can help us put our values on paper and leave a lasting and meaningful legacy.

Inspired early in the pandemic by the image of refrigerated trucks in Queens holding the remains of people who had died of COVID-19 and haunted by thoughts of how survivors would begin to cope, Terry Werth set out to give them a voice. A little more than a year later, a compilation of their stories was published. Terry joined us for a discussion about love, life and loss during the pandemic.

Young mourners can often feel a bit lost at a funeral, but there are meaningful ways to help them say goodbye to their loved one and to honor their grief. Funeral directors Lanae Strovers and Melissa Posey Loose experience first-hand how the death of a loved one can affect children, and how involving them in the funeral or memorial service can help them move forward on their unique grief journey.

When Dr. Joseph Stern's sister was diagnosed with leukemia, it turned his world upside down. In his book, "Grief Connects Us: A Neurosurgeon's Lessons on Love, Loss, and Compassion," Dr. Stern captures the hope and heartbreak experienced by so many families when faced with a terminal illness. He joined us to share how his experiences transformed the approach he takes to caring for patients.

Recovery expert Robert Jensen has the unimaginable task of recovering remains and personal effects at the sites of the world's largest mass fatality events. His book, Personal Effects, is an unsparing, up-close look at the difficult work Jensen does behind the yellow tape. He joins us to talk about how recovering the dead has taught him how to better care for the living.

It's not uncommon for people to struggle with their faith after the death of a loved one. This month's episode invites us to explore our grief through the lens of our faith and how our faith may be tested during this difficult time. Guest Shelley Craig from Faith & Grief Ministries encourages listeners to consider how they can honor their loved ones through faith-based practices and traditions.

The holidays can be difficult when we're grieving – or supporting someone who is. Alex Mammadyarov, a writer and psychotherapist specializing in grief, joins us for a conversation about the challenges of grieving during the “happiest time of the year” and how we can continue to move forward in our grief during a time when family and friends are gathering to celebrate.

Dominic Carella, soon-to-be Managing Partner of Donohue-Cecere Funeral Home in Westbury, New York, was one of the first funeral directors to arrive at Ground Zero following the terrorist attacks on September 11, 2001. In the months that followed, he would serve more than 75 families who experienced the devastating loss of a loved one that day.

Christie Whitaker, a funeral director at Whitaker Funeral Home in Newberry, South Carolina, was one of many funeral professionals who volunteered their time in New York City following the terrorist attacks on 9/11. Whitaker managed the Family Assistance Center, providing support to families searching for information about missing loved ones.

Bryant Hightower, a funeral director at Martin & Hightower Funeral Home in Carrollton, Georgia, drove to New York City shortly after the terrorist attacks and spent several months there. He served at the Family Assistance Center, contacting families of the people who were on the planes. He also worked with the medical examiner to put together post-mortems so remains could be identified.

John Carmon, funeral director and president of Carmon Community Funeral Homes, spent three weeks in New York City after 9/11 and returned 15 times in the months that followed. John had many informal interactions with people whose loved ones were missing, guiding many in creating “honor rituals” at home. He also assisted in honoring a service dog that was killed in the attacks.  

Remembering A Life is honored to share the stories of four funeral directors who, with scores of their colleagues, helped families, communities and our nation begin to heal after the September 11 terrorist attacks. Whether they supported families, helped identify remains or held services for loved ones, funeral professionals are among the humble, unsung heroes of this unfathomable tragedy. 

Following the deaths of her parents four years apart, Rebecca Soffer, a political satirist at the time, was inspired to fill the hole they left by helping others live richly through their loss. To that end, she co-founded Modern Loss, a place to share the unspeakably taboo, unbelievably hilarious and unexpectedly beautiful terrain of navigating your life after a death – beginners are welcome.

When confronted with loss, the benefits of engaging in meaningful activities and experiences that help to express grief are often overlooked. We are never taught how to grieve; however, there are ways to work through the emotional turmoil that often coincides with loss. Catherine Tyink and Christine Kortbein invite us to reimagine our grief, using creative ways to move forward after a loss.

Author Colet Abedi is well-known as a contemporary romance and young adult fiction author, so she surprised even herself when she was inspired to write a sci-fi trilogy following her father's death. Breed brings to life her father's vision of how all beings in the animal kingdom are interconnected. Learn more about how this powerful story of life, loss and the very soul of our existence was born.

When her father passed away, Linda Cohen's busy life as a mother, wife, and entrepreneur came to a screeching halt. She took a spiritual sabbatical to work through her grief and came out of it resolved to embark upon a project: perform 1,000 acts of kindness "mitzvahs" to honor her father's memory. Learn about Cohen's journey from sorrow to inspiration through simple daily acts of kindness.

When we hear the term “doula,” we probably most often think of a birth doula – someone who helps bring new life into the world. However, increasingly, doulas are also helping people through their final days. Guest Marggie Hatala has been an end-of-life doula for six years, providing families with in-home end-of-life support prior to and throughout the dying experience.

After losing both of her parents at a young age, grief expert Claire Bidwell Smith was drawn to helping others navigate their grief. A therapist in private practice for over a decade, she has counseled thousands of people and written three books. In this episode Claire reflects on the role anxiety has played in her grief journey and how we can identify and manage our own anxiety following a loss.

Not long ago, green funerals were a relatively foreign concept, but, increasingly, families are choosing this eco-friendly approach when laying a loved one to rest. Guests Bob Prout and Julia Prout from Prout Funeral Home in Verona, New Jersey, share how green funerals can be a meaningful option for anyone wanting to say goodbye in a beautiful, natural setting while also reducing their footprint.

While gathering guidelines have prevented thousands of families from having in-person funerals or memorial services, virtual memorials have given many the opportunity to support each other, say goodbye and begin to mourn. Guests Barry Koch and Jason Zamer from TGBeyond share how technology has helped to fill a void for so many families who are grieving the death of a loved one during the pandemic.

Anyone who has experienced the death of a loved one during the pandemic understands the profound ways in which it has affected their ability to say goodbye and begin to grieve. Gathering restrictions and isolation have complicated grief for many. Dr. Sara Murphy helps us find ways to honor the lives of our loved ones, support others who are grieving and find comfort on our own grief journeys.

The death of a loved one is one of life's most difficult experiences, and when a loved one dies during the COVID-19 pandemic, regardless of the cause of death, beginning the grief journey can be more complex due to physical distancing and gathering restrictions. Dr. Sara Murphy, a death educator, certified thanatologist and suicidologist discusses the realities of grief during the pandemic.

Talking to a child about death can be challenging. Whether a child has recently experienced the death of a family member, friend or even a beloved pet, adults are often unsure where to start when speaking with children about their loss. In this episode, children's book authors Lacie Brueckner and Katherine Pendergast offer suggestions for talking with children about loss in meaningful ways.