Shazad & Uqbah's Football Room

The last broadcast for quite a while. Thank you so much for 18 months of amazing support. Follow Uqbah's other projects at www.horridwizard.com

Ingerland Ingerland Ingerland! John Barnes raps in this week's episode as we do a podcast instead of watching the game of the tournament so far.

Euro having a laugh. Join us in the blatantly patriotic football room for a preview of Euro 2020. Plus, we speak to Youtuber Rayyan Siars about Chelsea, and round up our Fantasy Football performances.

It's back (not by popular demand) and we're rounding up the Mancunian European debacles, a Kamran bombshell + the season.

We talk Good Old Arsenal as Altaf joins us and touch upon subjects such as the 'Winston Bogarde' rule. Uqbah is unamused by the Chelsea-United bore-draw.

Kamran suggests dark and sinister reasons for Liverpool's slump as Uqbah backs Ole. Pun of the day comes from the Sevilla-Juve game.

City win the league while we talk about Countdown hosts and Alan Pardew/Curbishley. Pun of the day: Danny Pings.

Man City are gonna win the league, Uqbah is sad and Shazad said "Alisson Becker more like Alisson Bekaaar" + Michael Owen goes to Dubai.

Kamran pledges allegiance to Manchester on air and Shazad and Uqbah pick the bones out of United's up and down week.

The drought is over, a first podcast episode in weeks. Liverpool's goal drought, America invading itself and a Goalkeeper quiz contained in this week's show.

Shazad's puns get weaker as Liverpool get stronger and Uqbah discusses the Arsenal slump, you get me BLUD!!! (Registered Trademark: Arsenal Fan TV)

The Football Room is United in its joy at the midweek Champions League results (except Uqbah). Traditional Centre Forwards are also discussed in depth and should you unfollow Trump supporters on Twitter?   Featured guest: Rayyan Siars.

Shazad and Uqbah return to cover everything from racism in football to Maradona's death to racism in football. Bruno Fernandes appreciation and racism in football is also discussed.

Aaqib the Real Madrid fan joins us to talk La Liga and heal the wounds of a nation / 2 teams that have been traumatised by Demba Ba + Top Trump Puns.

Alex the West Brom fan makes his debut as we talk United plummeting to 15th and why foreigners dive so much while British players invite contact.

We don't like football we love it! But we kind of talk about cricket a lot in this episode.

Surreal Sunday is touched upon as the podcast hosts commiserate with each other. A Man Utd quiz cheers up Uqbah.

We discuss the brand new season, Kamran's absence, favourite chocolate bars and our Fantasy Football teams.

We discuss the brand new season, Kamran's absence, favourite chocolate bars and our Fantasy Football teams.

Round up of European finals, predictions for 20-21 season and Kamran+politics=Controversy.

Shazad and Uqbah revel in Man City's defeat, Kamran talks Muzlamic issues and Sevilla take the lead against United. Can they hang on? (Yes)

We talk Man Utd's follies, an emotional Jordan Henderson and Kamran “extends” an invitation to us about his latest venture.

FFP discussed in depth along with the late 90s boy band look prevalent in Alum Rock. Also football analysis.

This week's episode covers all 478 games that have taken place since last week as we digest Kamran AlumRock's latest business proposal.

Kamran returns to discuss football and "other stuff", we talk United's resurgence and 2 big physical lads with great athleticism dissect racial bias in football commentary.

Conflict, confrontation and all out war consumes Shazad and Uqbah's Football Room as we talk about Liverpool winning the league. Kamran, the Sage of Alum Rock, also makes his debut.

By the beard of Mike Dean the Premier League is back... in pre-season mode. We discuss Full Metal Angry Keane and Arsenal Apocalypse as Liverpool limp towards the title.

The semi-triumphant return of football, that game which matters so little and yet so much. Shazad & Uqbah talk about the prospect of matches without fans, activism, transfers, and a stray cow. Plus, predictions for this week and a tale of two quizzes.

The last episode before the mid-season Ramadan break includes discussion about the Saudi takeover of the mecca of football in the North East, an entertaining quiz and further investigation into the racism of the Hurricanes cartoon.

Sound quality returns. Shazad and Uqbah discuss the week's football and other more serious issues such as Priti Patel's maths and dubious racial profiling in the football cartoon ‘ The Hurricanes'.

Shazad and Uqbah continue with the fake match reports but Uqbah's vitriolic annihilation of Liverpool Football Club is very genuine. Furlough yourself into the Football Room for other delights such as the ‘Flash in the Pan' Premier League XI.

Day 6 of the Lockdown and Shazad and Uqbah go through their ‘All Time Muzlamic Premier League XI'. Plenty for listeners (and PREVENT officers) to mull over. Wolves' mauling of the Cherries is also dissected.

Shazad and Uqbah socially distance themselves from any quality broadcasting by doing another episode from their separate football rooms. Listen for their All Time Premier League XI, and dark and dangerous tales from supermarkets - along with made-up match reports for games that got cancelled.

Spurs sadness drags us to the depth of self-isolating as Wasim calls in to lament the Mourinho Horror Show. We discuss how we think the Premier League will resolve itself and how all our achievements, including GCSE and A-Level results, should be null and void because Karen Brady says so.

Altaf the Arsenal fan displayed his disdain over the phone for all things Liverpool (Allah forgive him) as we discuss all the league and cup action from the week. Arteta's ‘Asian uncle at a wedding' dress sense is also discussed in detail.

Nigel ‘Dances With Wolves' Pearson stops the Liverpool juggernaut. Bayern crush Chelsea like pistachio to be sprinkled on ras-malai. We discuss the Premier League Hall of Fame and Shazad recalls the lyrics to 1996 FA Cup song ‘Pass and Move (It's the Liverpool Groove)'.

After a hiatus, Uqbah and Shazad give their take on 236 fixtures interspersed with stories from Alum Rock and Sparkhill. Uqbah kills Shazad with another quiz and their shared fear of a half-man-half-wolf Nigel Pearson.

This week's episode discusses why there aren't more Asian (Pakistani, Bangladeshi & Indian) footballers in the Premier League, Man City's FFP woes, Alisson Becker appreciation, and the hardest quiz known to mankind. Also, an isolated case of specific Arsenal fan hatred towards Liverpool.

Shazad & Uqbah dissect the devalued FA Cup, overweight footballers, Liverpool's basis for success, and an objectionable tackle in the Oxford - Newcastle game. Shazad gets 'finished' in the football quiz because of a Finnish false 9 from 2001-2002 he didn't remember.

Shazad & Uqbah pick apart the transfer window, Liverpool's procession to the title (Inshallah x3), and how Kepa Arrizabalaga is George Costanza pretending he hasn't been dropped. Also, Sparkhill chip shop story and a moving farewell to Sir Nicholas Parsons (God rest him). Episode recorded 2nd February 2020.

The third episode of Shazad & Uqbah's Football Room. Recorded 26th January 2020.

The second (but first proper) episode of Shazad & Uqbah's Football Room. Recorded 19th January 2020.

The first and very experimental episode of Shazad & Uqbah's Football Room. Recorded 12th January 2020.