Spiritualish

If you're looking for a new source of personal-development for your podcast feed, please join me at Season 5 of the Meadow DeVor podcast.

Well, beloved listeners, we've reached the end of Spiritualish. We know this isn't expected (but it wasn't expected by us, either, at least not yet!). We talk about how we reached this decision, why it's the right one for us now, and the anxiety around ending it, too. We love you. We've loved doing this show. Thank you for letting us into your world. Music by Izzy DeVor.

This week we answer a letter from a mom who's been trying to get sober for over a year and struggling hard. She says she's exhausted. She asks, "How does one hold it together all the time?". We've got some answers. Music by Izzy DeVor.

This week, Meadow interviews Laura on her creative process. How does she decide what to work on? What would she do if she didn't have to make money? How does she know what needs to be a book, or a course, or a talk, or nothing at all? Is there a muse, or is it more practical? If you're someone who's curious about creativity, this is for you. Music by Izzy DeVor.

WE'RE BACK! "Those who look for the laws of Nature as support for their new works collaborate with the creator." - Antonio Gaudi. This week, we explore the Vedic concept of "Support of Nature" and how we can always tune into this knowing, elemental force as a guide and powerful feedback mechanism for decision-making and navigation through life. We walk through Meadow's current process of book writing and how this concept is playing out for her in real-time. Music by Izzy DeVor.

This week, we answer a letter from a reader about the difference between self-help and therapy, how we first landed with therapy, and what our experiences were like. Spiritualish will be on a short summer break for the next couple weeks. We'll be back in your ears on July 11! Music by Izzy DeVor.

Earlier this week, Laura came within inches of a panic attack. In this episode, we dissect the thoughts and feelings leading up to that moment, how she pulled herself out, and what we learned from it. This one is a meditation on friendship, dating, foreboding joy, worthiness, and the futility of trying to control what we cannot. Music by Izzy DeVor.

This week, we walk through how you can figure out whether any purchase you're considering is worth it, going to feel good in the long-run, and whether you can *actually* afford it. Money is one of those hazy, scary, and often shameful topics for a lot of people. But so much of the confusion is about seeing it the wrong way. This episode will help you get more clarity and confidence in how you spend your cash and think about spending overall. Music by Izzy DeVor.

This week, we talk about our favorite teachers: what they mean to us, why we love them, and what we go to them and their work to find.

This week we talk about wanting more. Even when we have a lot! EVEN WHEN WE SEEMINGLY HAVE IT ALL. We talk about finally putting your foot down and no longer settling for smallness or "good enough". When it comes to Laura and romantic relationships, Meadow coaches her on how to actually get what she wants (no vision boards, no magical thinking, no positive affirmations!). Whether it's money, work, love, friendships, your health, ANYTHING, you're allowed to want more.

"Tie the dog to the damn tree" is some advice Laura heard a few years ago and in the past month, as things started to fall apart, she realized she needed to listen. This week we talk about the anxiety and problems that ensue when we can't tell the difference between what's urgent and important, how to learn to discern between the two, and what to do.

What if you consciously committed to failure and rejection? This week we share some of our own big failures, past, and current, how to actually tell if you're failing (because sometimes, it's not obvious!), and the difference between failing smart and failing, well, dumb.

This week's original episode went in the trash. We spent 90-minutes talking about the history of our love lives and when we pressed "end" on the recording, knew that it would never see the light of day. So, we recorded another, wherein we talk about the things we don't share, and why, curiosity, trauma porn, privacy, secrets, secure relationships, and more.

This week, we get the full backstory on how Meadow came to do the work she does. She talks about the first company she owned, working for Martha Beck, being on Oprah, digging herself out of a half-million in debt, and more.

This week, we get the full backstory on how Laura came to do the work she does. She talks about what she did before 2016, how and when and why she started podcasting and blogging, what led up to the moment she quit her corporate job, making big leaps, and more.

Not the typical Spiritualish episode, this week we work out a question in real time. What is this elusive myth of balance? Work-life balance. Love-work balance. Family-work-love-life-home balance. Anything-balance. Is it possible? Is it even desirable? Meadow gets personal with an issue she's working through currently and we discuss whether what she's seeking is balance or something else. Music by Izzy DeVor.

This week, we dig into that awful four-letter word: SELFISH. To many, being selfish—as in, putting your needs above the needs of others—is one the worst possible ways of being, and it’s avoided at all costs. As teachers, selfishness is one of the most common themes among students in our classes, especially with women: even the idea of doing something for oneself is uncomfortable at best, and sometimes downright impossible. So, what does it really mean to be a selfish person? What does this belief system create in our lives? Is there a balance? Music by Izzy DeVor.

One of the most important questions we can ask ourselves in this life is: how much is enough? In our home, our relationships, money, work, success, our belongings, what is the value of going bigger, and what are the costs? This week, we talk about how we've been wrestling with this question in our own lives and the surprising contrasts in our desires. Music by Izzy DeVor.

This week, we answer a letter from a woman who's wondering about her friendships. What do friendships actually look like as an adult? Do they look like an episode of Friends, or something else? How do Friends fit into our lives as we get older? And how the hell do you make new friends? Meadow and Laura both talk about the shifts in their friendships over the years, what people tend to think vs. the reality, and where friends fit into their life now.

Alt. episode title: "Examine What You Tolerate". This week, we recount times when we've told ourselves "It's not that bad" when in reality, it was that bad--and actually a lot worse. Why do we do that? What's the price? And how can you be onto yourself before you dig yourself into a too-deep hole? Image: Money Pit, 1986 Music by Izzy DeVor

"Philip Morris just wanted your lungs; the App Store wants your soul." - Bill Maher, 2018. This week, we explore the concept of Digital Minimalism, as described in Cal Newport's new book of the same title, the significant changes we've both made in response, the early results we've seen, as well as some of the open questions and fears we each have. This isn't about hating on tech (we love it!) but rather understanding the real impact of how we are now "connected", making choices based on what you value most, crushing some of the myths of being an online entrepreneur and "needing" social media, and deciding how you really want to spend your life. Music by Izzy DeVor.

As a culture, we tend to glorify the idea of chasing your passion. We've all heard the adage, "Find something you love and you'll never work another day in your life." What we don't hear about all that often, though, is the real price of giving a shit about your work. This week, we answer a letter from "Basic Millennial." He's at a crossroads, between jobs, trying to figure out how he can do something he really loves and finds meaning in, while also being a breadwinner. Music by Izzy DeVor.

Meet Anger: one of the five core emotions, and also one of the most demonized and misunderstood. This week, we take a deep dive into what emotions actually are, what anger exists for, and why it is so critical to your sense of self and emotional health. Music by Izzy DeVor. Photo credit: Inside Out by Pixar

"Survival mode is supposed to be a phase that helps save your life. It is not meant to be how you live." - Michele Rosenthal. So why is it that we tend to throw ourselves into that mode, long after survival is not an issue? We've got answers! This week we unpack how to tell the difference between actual survival mode and a drama loop and why you might be thriving on "surviving". Music by Izzy DeVor

Ahhh, Impostor Syndrome. The hidden affliction of...maybe, everyone? We break it down, talk about when we've felt it, why, how it's stopped us from moving forward, and how you can work with it so it stops stopping you. Photo: Laura in a Costco (if you want to know the backstory, listen!). Music by Izzy DeVor.

Is there a conversation you've been having for waaaaay too long? (There is, we promise.) This week, we talk about the conversations we want to stop having, and what happens when you get stuck in a loop without realizing it. Also: Laura meets capital R resistance and Meadow goes to visit David Whyte the day after Mary Oliver passes. Music by Izzy DeVor.

This week, we recap what happened during a girls weekend in Big Sur together. Highlights include Murder Mountain, Marie Kondo, 67 pounds of coffee, and collage making (#nerdalert). But not just any collage. We did what Meadow teaches as part of her course, The Worthy Project--a collage that drastically upended her life the first time she did it. It's a specific formula and we'll give you a fly-on-the-wall view of how we constructed ours, how it works, and how you can build your own worthy backbone.

TODAY IS OUR ONE YEAR BIRTHDAY! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO SPIRITUALISH! Okay, that aside, this week's episode is about letting the real you be seen. We answer a letter from a woman who isn't sure how to come to terms with who she was in the past, or if she really wants or needs to. She fears the people in her life would be shocked and scatter if they knew what she was like in her drinking days--she's not even sure *she* can accept that person, either. We discuss. And, for inquiring minds, we also discuss Laura's new way of eating, her hellish week of detox, and why she decided to kick grains and sugar.

Do you have things you’re committed to doing more or less daily that keep you sane and functional? Weeeell, you should. We all need them. And this episode might just give you permission to claim your non-negotiables. We talk about ours, why they matter, and how they fit into our day. What does this have to do with John Travolta jazzercizing in short-short shorts? Nothing! But it’s a glorious image to behold, no? Note: We are now on Spotify too, for your Spotify folks. Music by Izzy DeVor

Welcome to 2019! For the new year, we answer a letter from a woman who can't seem to find her "why" to quit drinking. So, we pose some questions for her and for all of us to ask to get real clarity on just about anything.

And that's a wrap, kids! This week, we each look at our single biggest lesson from 2018. To all our listeners: THANK YOU for being so great and supporting us this year. We love you. Onward!

As we approach the darkest and shortest day of the year, we talk about the necessity and value of the dark. Emotionally, seasonally, culturally, and psychologically, we tend to avoid the dark at all costs. But what if we could embrace it, instead? We talk about Laura's deep fear of winter, of the mystical meaning of darkness, and how we might look at it all a little bit differently.

So, we all have fantasies. Big dreams. Ideas about what life would be like if the past or the future were different, better. This week, we talk about some surprising ways our fantasies have really hurt us and what the cost of keeping them alive can be.

This week, we answer a letter from a woman who is sick of seeing Day One in her sobriety. So how do we REALLY stop doing the things we no longer want to do? Does counting days matter, or not? Why? We share our own experiences, of course, and give you big questions to ask yourself to get to the bottom of the Day One Groundhog Day cycle. Music by Izzy DeVor.

This week, we respond to a letter a woman wrote us asking about Meadow's food journal and it turned into a larger conversation about: dieting, dieting trauma, food sobriety, boundaries, how to deal with food-pressure around the holidays so you don't sabotage yourself, and how Meadow finally found a way to approach eating with sanity.

It may be the hardest question we all face at some point: do you stay (in the relationship, the job, the city), or do you go? In this episode, we respond to a letter from a woman who's having second thoughts about her decision to divorce, break down our own experience, and offer a way to help her (and you) make a decision. Album art: The Clash Music: Izzy DeVor

Our bodies speak very clearly about what we want (and don't) if we're willing to listen. With the holidays approaching, many of us get anticipate overwhelm, anxiety, and exhaustion. So this week we offer some simple guidance to figure out how you want to approach them. Music by Izzy DeVor

This week, we continue the money conversation and talk about the phenomenon of the "please like me" discount. We do it with work. We do it in relationships. And it never, ever, works out well. If you're guilty of discounting your worth, you're gonna want to listen up. Music by Izzy DeVor.

What's the real cost of a social media presence? Is it any different than drinking/gambling/whatever else we get addicted to? Is it possible to make it as an entrepreneur or creator without it? This week, we talk about these questions, Laura's indefinite exit from the 'gram, Meadow's daughter getting bullied online, the link between drinking and social media, and what it really may cost us to be 'social.' Music by Izzy DeVor.

Most people don't realize that what you believe about money isn't a siloed belief: it always reflects your larger belief system, specifically your concepts of self-worth and how the world works. This can sound like really bad, too-big-to-fix news, but it's actually the opposite. This week, we talk about our individual money stories, including our worst mistakes, and the surprising ways we've grown to have a healthier relationship with money (hint: not by better budgeting). This will be the first of a few episodes about money, so we want to hear your stories! Send them to us at www.bespiritualish.com. Music by Izzy DeVor

This week, we get Laura's view of God, starting with her Catholic-lite upbringing, through her days of chasing God—or at least, a spiritual experience—in drinking, people-pleasing, and whatever else, to now.

This week, we answer a reader's request to talk about God. We break down Meadow's old and new belief systems, beginning with the Mormon church and traveling through several periods of personal faith crisis. Music by Izzy DeVor.

Anxiety disorders are the most common mental illness in the United States, but what the hell is anxiety, anyway? This week, we talk about our experience with anxiety as we understand it. Meadow gives her take on money anxiety and Laura talks about the correlation between drinking and anxiety. Image by Allie Brosh (Hyperbole and a Half) Music by Izzy DeVor

When we undergo big challenges and big changes, both ones we want and ones we don't--like getting sober, writing a book, becoming a mother--we have to make choices. We are required to say a lot of "no's" in order to be able to choose that bigger "yes". So this week, we talk about what that looks like right now for Meadow, the real sacrifices required, the crippling self-doubt, and why it's (hopefully?) worth it. Music by Izzy DeVor.

This week, we answer a letter from a woman whose long-term relationship has just ended--an ending she did not want--and she's struggling to make it through. We share our own stories of devastating heartbreak, including divorce: what helped, what didn't, and what we know now. Music by Izzy DeVor

First: How great were Barb and Robert? Sigh. Spurred by an experience Laura had at a concert recently, where she felt like she was sitting next to her old, intoxicated self in a bathroom, this week we look back at who we used to be. This one is eye-opening for anyone gauging their emotional health and sense of connection to themselves and others.

Fucking rejection. Is there anything worse? This week, we talk about why rejection actually hurts as much as it does, share some of our own cringey man-rejection stories, and talk about what can make it better, or worse. Music by Izzy DeVor.

Let's talk about the P word. Why do we bury our head in the sand when we have important things to do, or find ANYTHING ELSE to do other than that dreaded thing. Procrastination is a tricky monster and we've got some good ideas to help you look at what's real and how to work through it.

This week, we respond to a letter from a listener who's been comparing herself to others and competing all her life: for fitness, intelligence, popularity, likes on Instagram, and even sobriety. Now, in her 40's, it's spilling over to her kids. So we uncover the phenomenon of crab mentality and how it plays out in our lives. How do we deal with this very human instinct to compare + compete? Is it always bad? Why do we do it, and is there any way to step off the hamster wheel? Music by Izzy DeVor

This week, we answer a letter from a woman who's struggling with feeling constant guilt about her mother. We break down the difference between guilt and toxic guilt, where we've felt toxic guilt in our own lives, and what you can do to help yourself move through it.

The subject of white privilege and racism have recently challenged both of us to look at how we're using our voices in our work and also, how we're living day-to-day. We talk through some difficult questions like, What is activism? Does everyone have to be an activist? How does one know when they've done enough? This is a conversation about humility, self-examination, and trying to speak even when you will no doubt fail.