Talking to Myself in the Park

WEEEELL it seems as if I've gone and done it again. Yet ANOTHER episode of the only podcast to feature me, Clare, walking around a park. In this ep I discuss Coronavid-19, what I want done with my body after I PASS, knives, and unfortunately MORE MORE MORE! Hope you like...

Heeeere we are again, farting around Highland Park in...Brooklyn? Penny the dog co-hosts this wild ride of an ep. "Wild ride? How so?" you ask. WELL, I cover a LOT of ground, physically and otherwise, talkin' bout TREES and DOGS and TINY TIM (briefly)! Dive in and get to splashin', babe.

After an accidental two-week hiatus, I return to The Park with dog in hand (on leash). In this ep, I talk to my dog like a human baby, about the PBS show Finding Your Roots, when shit collects at the corners of your mouth, and other dumb stuff. Enjoy if ya nasty! Love, Clog.

Oi!! In this dumb episode, I wander around Highland Park in Queens(???) with my weird little dog Penny. You'll notice a lot of "mic rubbing against jacket" noise, and for that I SUPPOSE I apologize, but I think you'll like it anyway! "Nevertheless she etc etc." I talk about fun things like lampposts, bogs, dogs, "being cold" and more! Unreal. Drink it up.

YES there are large uhhh SWATHS of silence in this episode, but nevertheless this is still somehow a podcast! My dog Penny and I visit Grover Cleveland Park(?) in Ridgewood, Queens where we run around, lose our train of thought, and encounter other dogs from afar. Enjoy!

WELL, WELL, WELL look who's come CRAWLING back to the internet audiosphere...it's me! Clare! I recorded this episode right when The Coup was popping off I guess, but there is no mention of it in the ep because, well, I hadn't read the news about it yet so...much like that song, "I haven't read the news, oh boooooy". Anyway! In this ep I visit the famously dull City Hall Park, where there is A Fountain, among other things. Enjoy! P.S. I promise the buzzsaw ambience in the beginning doesn't last forever!!!!!

In this sizzling hot ep, I talk with young male comedian Joe Pera about the outdoors, walking, talking, and shaking tha booty. YES it was too wet outside to record in a real park, so YES I made Joe play ambient park noises on YouTube in his apartment. Ambiance. Is. Everything. Hope you like!!! Follow Joe on Twitter @JosephPera and watch his show Joe Pera Talks With You on Adult Swim Dot Com with your parent's cable login!

In this ep, I force hot mama and dear friend Solomon Georgio to sit with me outside in below freezing temperatures. Maria Hernandez Park has never been colder and Sol and I gab about just that! Among other things. It's FUN. We're FUN. LIFE is FINE. Enjoy! Follow Solomon on Twitter @SolomonGeorgio :)

Wow. Are you in for a D*MN treat. In this ep of Talking to Myself in da P, I talk to my friend, comedian/musician/author/freakshow Dave Hill at the NYC AIDS Memorial Park (St. Vincent's Triangle) in Greenwich Village. Topics include: piss, shit, trash, choking the chicken in public, and more! Want MORE DAVE??? Follow him on Twitter @mrdavehill and listen to HIS p-cast Dave Hill's Podcasting Incident on iTunes or somewhere else!

This is what we in Business and Management School like to call...A GAME CHANGER. In this ep of TTMITP I talk to SOMEONE ELSE in the park. Megan Koester, my friend, my mami, and "freak bitch savant", talk about all sorts of things, leading me to ask the question, "Maybe I should be talking to...OTHER people in the park MORE???", which then lead me to the answer, "Yeah, probably." This one is definitely in my top 29 episodes list for sure. Enjoy! :)

Here I am, again, telling you, the listener, that this ep...this ep right here...this one is...A-O.K.! I visit Hyde Park in jolly good London and talk about the following: how OLD it is, how CLEAN it is, how NICE it is, among other things. Don't be a CHAV PEDO! Listen to the damn pod!

As the host of the web's most self-indulgent podcast (um, oxymoron much, b*tch????) I am happy to announce that this episode has everything one could possibly want when seeking out such a p'cast: it's BORING, sounds BAD, and is about NOTHING. In it, I walk around Maria Hernandez Park in Bushwick, Brooklyn and touch on topics like "it's cold" and "also it's dark". I, personally, can not get enough. Enjoy!

I'M BACK AGAIN! For real this time!!! In this episode (first of the Fall, mama!), I hang out in Washington Square Park at NIGHT on a WEEKEND and I am APPROACHED by many strangers. I also take "a stroll" and I know at some point I talk about stores that only sell candles and greeting cards. I can't really remember what else!!! My favorite episode so far. More to come...weekly...I swear.... BREAKING NEWS: Was just told by my good friend that my podcast logo is clearly an iPhone picture of a drawing and now I feel self-conscious about it! Really thought I got away with that one but I guess not!!!

In this short yet LONG-awaited episode, I sit on a bench in a lil park in downtown Burlington, Vermont. This hot ep comes complete with sounds of a free opera, two little boys in bucket hats, wind, bugs, and MORE! "Get on the train, honkys!"

In this SOLID episode of TTMITP, I visit Tompkins Square Park once again. It's my favorite park, what can I say!!! Anyway, I get mad for no reason, see some creeps, and ramble on about the importance of shade. If you're still listening to this regularly, please consult your therapist.

In this heavily ambient episode, I visit Forest Park in the prettiest borough of them all, QUEENS, BABY! I don't have anything really interesting to say but the sounds of the park are nice! I guess! SPOILER: Episode begins with a guy getting me to follow him on Instagram in lieu of me giving him my phone number. Hear what I sound like when I'm trying to be nice even though I'm kinda annoyed! Enjoy...

In this episode I, Clare, walk to Irving Square Park in Bushwick and "shoot the shit" with my "own damn self". The audio quality is BAD but I feel GOOD about it. Listen or eat it!!!

Long time no smell, fockers! I’ve been on THE ROAD for the last two weeks or so. This ep was recorded on said road with special guest, my MAN, Nick Naney. I think we are somewhere in New Mexico at this point. We talk about our travels, emotions, and I forget what else! I’m currently writing this description lying pantsless on a sleep number bed in a Dayton, Ohio Airbnb! Rest In Peace (Pasta) Anthony Bourdain!

I'm back and later than ever! In this ep, I sit on the grass in Central Park by Columbus Circle and eat sushi directly into the mic on my headphones. I talk about my trip to Austin, big butts, and lord knows what else. Episodes will be every MONDAY from now on because it's convenient for ME and only ME!!! Love you, kiss you, miss you, enjoy it.

In THIS eppy, I sit in Irving Square Park in (maybe??) Ridgewood, Queens. It was a really nice day and I can NOT stop talking about it! I also talk about being SAD and ANXIOUS! Depending on who you are, this episode is either "relatable" or "annoying". Hope you enjoy either way! Wow!

I'm LATE. This episode was recorded last Wednesday in Bowling Green Park, where I agreed to "perform" in an interactive theatre/bus tour/corporate ice breaker for a hundred bucks. The positives: I got to sit in a park. The negatives: I HAD to sit in a park. You get it. I give a brief and probably inaccurate history of New York City's oldest park, complain about being cold, and worry about my impending street performance. Enjoy…

It's a BOOTYFUL Friday afternoon (for once) in New Jork Shitty, and I'm...NOT in a park? What the fu*k? Well, I was too busy to go parkin' today but I still feel the need to put this podcast out every Friday, so here we are! Are you excited? You are? Weird! Live, from my stoop, it's me, the guy with the headphone mic...enjoy... New intro music by my roommate/friend Chris Alarie! carlosanimals.bandcamp.com/track/hallucinations

BONJOUR, BOOBS. In this "fun" episode of Talking to Meself in The Plonk I talk about layering, success (lack there of), that one guy you know whose got a real rough voice that reflects his hard-lived/very punk life, the Hare Krishna tree in Tompkins Square Park, and honestly Lord knows what else!!! Enjoy… ;) New intro music by my roommate/friend Chris Alarie! carlosanimals.bandcamp.com/track/hallucinations

I'm back after a long hiatus! Wow! In this ep, I talk about my dad dying (hence the HIATUS), a LITTLE bit o' park banter, and then we launch into my father's memorial. I recorded a few speeches from my dad's "Irish wake" that took place on St. Patrick's Day in gorgeous San Jose, California. I hope you enjoy these great stories and also me crying.

It's officially 2018 and I am ill-equipped for winter in The Big Asshole! I sit in, quite possibly my FAVORITE park, Tompkins Square Park, and watch skateboarders, talk about "the weather", and who knows what else! BONUS CONTENT: the last probably 8 minutes I don't talk at all because I'm trying to figure out what to order at Russ and Daughters. Enjoy!

Happy New Year, bad guys! Booooy do I feel like I'm melting! In this episode, on this VERY day, it turns out to be way too cold to sit in a park. Twas the coldest NYE since 1965 (said the man on the radio playing in a Lyft). My WIFE Nick Naney joins me once again for this special episode in which we sit in a cafe and trip our balls off on mushrooms (hypothetically...). Enjoy! and don't forget to visit www.patreon.com/talkingtomyselfinthepark for all your "supporting Clare's unrealistic artistic ambitions" needs!

HAPPY HONDA DAYS from everyone (me) here (in my room) at Talking to Myself in the DAMN Park. In this episode I skate around McCarren Skatepark at sundown. I talk about how I hate the "industry", love skateboarding, I accidentally call Oscar Wilde "Oliver Wilde", and the microphone rubs on my jacket during MOST of this episode. It very well may be...unlistenable...a true CHRISTMAS SURPRISE! I love you so much.

WELL, I'm back from yet another hiatus and, get this, worse than ever! In this episode, I cough directly into the mic multiple times. This ep used to be 5 minutes longer but I edited even MORE coughs out, leaving you with this fine piece of work. I talk about being cold, HAVING a cold, and I complain about complaining...among other things! Enjoy and sorry for coughing in your ears. (There is no mention of Hanukkah in this episode.)

WOW. In this virtually unlistenable(?!) ep, I do NOT sit in a park unfortch. But, I DO sit in the back outdoor area of my work during my lunch break! Sorry in advance for the horrific background noise of fans throughout oooooh the entire episode. Other than that, I talk about my trip to Chicago, my friend Lance, work AND my new Patreon page. BTW it's www.patreon.com/talkingtomyselfinthepark "Get with it or eat dirt."

In this VERY SPECIAL TURKEY BIRTHDAY EPISODE, we (I) welcome (fart on) comedian NICK NANEY. We talk about going to Thanksgiving dinner with Nick's family, Cooper Park (where we are in the DAMN EPISODE), movies, moobies, and other fun, stupid shit. I love you and this episode is sponsored by FLANNELGRAPH RECORDS. Visit friggin' www.flannelgraphrecords.com and use the promo code CLARE for 30% OFF are you KIDDING ME???????

I'M BACK after a TWO WEEK (I thought it was only one until 5 minutes ago) hiatus! In this episode the following happens: - my headphone microphone rubs on my scarf and makes an annoying sound - at some point it starts to rain - I talk about the "End of Men" - that's about it. LISTEN AND TRY TO ENJOY!!!

SORRY I'M LATE. I was...BUSY. In this noisy-ass, day late ep, I revisit Washington Square Park while I wait for my aunt and uncle. I almost immediately objectify a man's bubble butt, among other fun things. Talking to Myself in the Fuckin' Park is sponsored by Flannelgraph Records! Aye aye aye! Use the promo code CLARE for 30% off der awesome merch at www.flannelgraphrecords.com

"Here we go agaaaaaaaain!" In this ep, I sit on a bench in McCarren Park when it's raining out because I want to. I talk about LORD KNOWS WHAT. I hope you likey.

We're still doing this I guess!!! In this ep, I revisit a DIFFERENT area of Prospect Park. In it, I sip my green tea a little too audibly, I try to "paint a picture for the audience" and most certainly fail, among other things! FUN FACT: While listening to this (for quality control)I fell asleep. Like a really nice, deep, comfy sleep. HIGHLY recommend! DIS EP is sponsored by Flannelgraph Records. Visit der damn site @ flannelgraphrecords.com and use the frickin' offer code CLARE.

In this ~windy~ episode of TTMITP I visit Tompkins Square Park. Some highlights: - I burp into the microphone - I kinda freak out - I give a couple "hot takes" - I talk too close to the mic and there's a lot of "blow back" I hope you like it! Can't believe I'm still doing it!

In this HOT EP I visit Washington Square Park. I talk about death, "the weather", jazz, and (get this) MORE! I manage to exude both a somber AND fun vibe! I also cough directly into the mic a couple times and it WILL hurt your ears. DIS EP is sponsored by Flannelgraph Records. Visit der damn site @ flannelgraphrecords.com and use the frickin' offer code CLARE. Okay!

DISCLAIMER: This episode is BAD. I repeat, it AIN'T GOOD. This episode is bad for a number of reasons, a few being: - it's super windy - a skateboarder sits too close to me and I get self conscious - I tell a long winded-ass story that is actually cool and exciting but NOT THE WAY I TELL IT (skip minute 9 through 19 to avoid this. Let's just say, MAMA AIN'T BEIN' INVITED TO THE MOTH ANYTIME SOON, YA FEEL ME???) Anyway, I was in a bad/weird mood when I recorded it and it's just not very funny. I know this because I listened to it on the train while a man was yelling. Okay! Enjoy at your own risk!

EPISODE 1 of Talking to Myself in the Park! In this episode, I talk to myself in Prospect Park. There are kids on scooters, PARENTS on scooters, and other fun things you will DEFINITELY not get bored hearing about! I "break down" the "meaning" of the podcast, and make it very clear that I am dumb and this is a dumb idea. Enjoy ;)