The Dorks Deduction

This episode was initially supposed to be about the Svalbard Global Seed Vault. We did manage to talk about it for about five minutes but then we drifted to vagina steamers and the wonderful Gwyneth Paltrow's GOOP! Enjoy! **Technology failed us this episode so the quality isn't quite up to par. Hopefully you can get over that, if not we'll see you next episode!

With Halloween approaching we've decided to delve into the world of Creepy Pasta. Join us while Chris gives us hyper-realistic readings of these frightful online stories, so terrifying that we end up in tears. Lies. We're crying because of the laughter.

This episode we discuss our early cinema experiences, what cinema etiquette is and whether cinemas/the film industry is dying. We also talk about spider infestations & infections. Just a little bit.

This episode we'll be discussing celebrated poet & writer Aleister Crowley and his works that have inspired many. By works we mean the fact that he was an occultist, black magician, spy, satanist, cult leader & was dubbed "the wickedest man in the world". Nice light hearted episode we have here. Oh, he was a mountaineer too.

In the 16th Century a group of English settlers colonised in an area of North Carolina and dubbed their Island the Roanoake Colony. This ended bloody. Another group of settlers arrived in 1587 & had a little help adapting with the help of a local native tribe, the Croatans, but other groups of native Americans weren't too pleased. This ended bizarre.

Steven Spielberg is known as the man that bought audiences Indiana Jones, Jurassic Park and many other blockbusters but who is he really? This episode we explore rumours of his association with Hollywood peadophile rings as well as the demise of child actress Heather O'Rourke.

This episode we're going to be singing some classic karaoke tracks with Lina Morgana! Sort of. We'll be discussing the death of Lina Morgana & whether Lady Gaga had anything to do with it. And there will be the occasional musical interlude as well as Supernatural & GOT chat.

On February 27, 1994, Olivia Mabel's body was found in her deceased son's bedroom. Judging by the decay Olivia had been dead for months but someone had made phonecalls to the police on the day of the gruesome discovery from her home and it seems like Olivia herself had written a note to her son. So what happened to Olivia Mabel?

Simeon Simms (Queer Essential) joins us once again to discuss Buffy the Vampire Slayer! Simeon faces off against the resident dork to see who knows the most about the wonderful Buffyverse. And Alex was there as well. *Warning* There is excitement, screeching and crying in this episode.

Phil Spector was a hot successful record producer and songwriter in the 1960s & although we'd love for this to be another nostalgic episode about the music he produced we're instead talking about something far more grizzly. After being dormant for decades he hit the headlines again in 2003 when Lana Clarkson was found dead in his home. Spector maintains his innocence but is he being honest? We deduce this deduction well.

In the late 19th century the Brown family found themselves with supremely bad luck. Tuberculosis was working it's way through the family but the residents of Rhode Island believed it to be something more sinister. Because of their speculation and antics the youngest Brown daughter, Mercy, is now known as the vampire of Rhode Island. This episode we'll discuss what happened to Mercy & deduce whether she was a bloodsucker or not. We also discuss our time travel plans.

On 29/11/1981 Natalie Wood went on what should've been a leisurely boat ride with her husband, Robert Wagner, her friend Christopher Walken and the captain Dennis Davern but never made it back to land alive. Initially she was believed to have drowned (believed by the people who have the power to make it official anyway) but some things just don't seem to add up. This episode we deduce what actually happened to Natalie that night and more importantly, what happened to her fur coats after she died? We also end up discussing Louis CK, R Kelly & Chris Brown for some reason.

This episode we're discussing how slang makes us feel old! We also get distracted by ASMR and Conway Twitty. The usual basically. Enjoy!

This episode we sit down to discuss End Game. Did our theories line up with what actually happened? Did it live up to the hype? Is it worth the billions it's made? Where does the MCU go from here? If you're not a fan of the MCU don't worry, we have it on good authority that our 45 minute talk about it is worth more than the three hour movie. Enjoy!

This episode we have a special guest! Don't get excited, it's not Chris Hemsworth. It's not really anyone of importance. Our guest has bought along a few memorable celebrity incidents from 2018. Why 2018 you ask? Time machine, it's definitely because of a time machine. Definitely not because we record this so far in advance.

This week we have another one of those one shots! Yes, we'll be talking about things and stuff and things. And other stuff. And some more things. Basically we just felt like having a chat about rude people, expletives and porn and our egos are so big we thought you might like to listen. Enjoy!

This week we're hyped up on Tolkien so we're having a major geekfest spectacular! From The Lord of the Rings to The Hobbit to Tom Bombadll we discuss it all and we deduce the most pressing case we've had yet, who is The Lord of the Rings? Will it be Chris? Will it be Alex? Will it be Chris Hemsworth? Probably not Hemsworth.

This episode we learn to hate each other a little less while bonding over our childhoods. Some of the highlights are school, cereal, television and movies! Yes, we get mighty nostalgic but we've saved enough memories for the next one. Enjoy!

During the 1950s James Dean was making a name for himself in Hollywood. Unfortunately his career was short lived and he never managed to reach the heights of some of his contempories but he'll never been forgotten. This episode we discuss the life, death and legacy of James Dean. And probably some other stuff too.

By popular demand (the demands of certain members of The DD) we have a special extended cut of our Queer Essential episode! The Prosecco is flowing! Don't forget to check out Queer Essential on The Milk & Cereal YouTube channel, it's out now! - https://youtu.be/HXX9KPpk4mg

In this weeks episode we're joined by the delightful Simeon Simms and a bottle of Prosecco! We'll be discussing the launch of Queer Essential, his fantastic new panel show which will be gracing us with its presence on 25/02/2019 via The Milk & Cereal channel on YouTube! Don't worry, this podcast hasn't suddenly become formal & professional as we're also talking about petty thievery, dating lives, drinking games and much more. *Keep an eye out for a special extended version of this episode (yes, this was edited) that'll be dropping next week!*

This week we're filling in Alex on the greatness that is the Marvel Cinematic Universe and the heartbreak of Infinity War. *Warning* This episode contains silliness, competitiveness, a pop quiz and a few spoilers. This definitely wasn't pre-recorded *cough* in October *cough*, we just decided to discuss it several months after the film was released. That makes sense.

This week we decided to tackle a topic that's been haunting audiences (and apparently cast and crew members) for decades. Since the original film in The Omen franchise a number of people involved seemed to have suffered a great deal of bad luck which has led some to believe that the movies are cursed. Is this true? Is it a coincidence? Did one of us go back in time to terrorise the innocent cast and crew members? Yes, yes we did.

After an extended hiatus we're back! Instead of starting off with a light hearted topic we decided to delve right into the Hollywood sexual harassers. Again. From Harvey Weinstein to Asia Argento we cover it all! Only we dont, we picked a few perves and decided to stick to discussing those. Enjoy!

We want to wish you all a happy new year! We've been a little busy over the last couple of months so we appreciate you sticking by us during our dry spell. To say thanks we've cobbled together an outtakes episode so if you want to hear us mispronouncing words, being interrupted by dogs and insulting each other this is the episode for you!

During July of 1518 a Mrs. Troffea inexplicable broke out dancing and was unable to stop. Over the course of a month up to 400 people joined her on the streets, seemingly against their wishes. The dancers suffered bouts of heart attacks, strokes and exhaustion and many of them didn't live to see the end of the jig. So why did this dancing mania that effected hundreds in Strasbourg occur? Why did it end?

This week we have a good old rant about the sexual predators that seem to have been trolling around Hollywood with ease for decades. It should also be noted that this episode was recorded over a week ago which isn't normally an issue but so much has been revealed since! So, if we didn't mention you it's not because we're cool with what you did, it's just because we didn't know.

Halloween is approaching so in this episode we're discussing a possible ghost ship which possibly had a dutch crew, a crew that possibly died a gruesome death. It also possibly sank as witnessed by the crew of another ship who are possibly dead as well. We also discuss Weinstein occasionally. Yep, this episode will make your skin crawl.

This week we discuss the thrills and face palms that we've gotten over the years from watching horror films. We also try to figure out what horror movies that have been released in the last decade actually scare us. None, none have scared us.

Christopher Marlowe, also known as Kit, was a playwright and poet that lived in the Elizabethan era. Born in 1564 Marlowe lived till the ripe old age of... 29. He is said to have been killed accidentally by an acquaintance but there are some doubts about his official cause of death among historians (and us). Was it an assassination ordered by the Privy Council and/or the queen? Was it the result of the actions of a jealous wife? Did he actually die or did he fake his death? Did Matt do it? It's as likely as some of the other theories.

Last week tempers flared due to some disparaging remarks against Game of Thrones, disparaging remarks that were incorrect. In an effort to try and curb these insultingly wrong feelings towards the show we decided to discuss it further this episode. Until we got distracted and talked about other things and stuff.

Sture Ragnar Bergwell, more commonly known as Thomas Quick, gained the reputation of being one of the most prolific serial killers to haunt Sweden and its surrounding countries. He became infamous in the early 90s following a string of confessions which led to conviction. There was just one problem, there was no evidence he killed anyone.

The Wild Boy of Aveyron, also known as Victor Of Aveyron, was a feral child that lived in France in the 1700s-1800s. People made the assumption that he'd lived in the wild for most of his life due to his awkward diet and scarring on his body but how and why would a child be left to fend for themselves in the woods? Could he ever recover? Is this tale even true?

In the early 1990s Karla Homolka became the victim of a miscarriage of justice in Canada. She'd somehow been suckered into committing multiple rapes and murders with her husband, Paul Bernardo, and shockingly people expected her to pay for the crimes. She was sentenced to 12 years in prison for her part in the crimes (far too long) but fortunately is able to lead a relatively normal life following her release. Good. There's a lot of sarcasm in this description.

This week we've been discussing the Tulpa and where they come from. Are they urban legends? Are they supernatural entities? Are they what haunt the crazies? Are they Matt's only friends? Probably. *There are some issues with the quality of the audio at times during this episode.

This week we'll be discussing Thomas Neill Cream who was a gifted doctor in the 1800s. Unfortunately he isn't famous for his skills in that department, he is infamous for getting quite murdery. In multiple countries. Oh, he could also have been Jack the Ripper.

Over the last decade more than two dozen suicides have occurred in Bridgend County, Wales. So whats causing all these suicides? Is it a suicide cult? Is the area cursed? Is suicide contagious? Is it all just lies? Wait... is it because they'd listened to this podcast? My god I hope not.

On this weeks episode we'll be discussing the curious case of the Collyer Brothers. After their parents deaths they were crippled with illness, reclusiveness and an insatiable desire for hoarding. The hoarded so much junk that they would eventually become legendary for it.

Last week we intrigued you with a tale about Tarrare, the man with the never ending gut but this week unfortunately we'll be discussing Steven Tari. The only way to describe Steven Tari without curse words is cult leader, rapist and old fashioned murderer. Thankfully this episode features castration.

After our topical but depressing last couple of weeks we decided to chat about an incredibly weird French showman. Normally showmen do magic tricks, some play optical illusions, you might even find one that will make a dog out of balloons but that was all beneath Tarrare. He ate stuff. A lot of stuff. My moneys on a tape worm.

For our special hundredth episode we'll be... continuing our discussion *cough* rantings *cough* on the messed up happenings of the last couple of months. And also a little bit of Trumpage. It's his fault, he keeps giving us material.

In the last couple of months the UK has been plagued with a myriad of issues and tragedies, so this week we'll be discussing a few of them. Hence this episode being titled "Part One". Big Duh.

It's safe to say that we have built up a reputation of doing a mass amount of research, then recording well structured and fact driven episodes. Shockingly this week we failed which is incredibly out of character for us. Instead we found ourselves nostalgic. Again.

In honour of the upcoming election we've decided to air our thoughts on the grand old political parties of the UK, Brexit, weapons of mass destruction and much more. The is A LOT of sarcasm in this episode so Labour party, please don't get angry with us.

The Dorks Deduction is 2 years old today! To celebrate we're gifting you with a blooper/outtakes episode containing things that didn't make it into our previous episodes. I say that but it's mainly just us completely messing up and Matt verbally abusing animals. Enjoy!

On February 25th, 1957, a box was found in a dumpsite in Philadelphia. In the box was the was the scarred and bruised body of a young boy. Even though the case captured the attentions of the local police, past and present, 60 years on we are still none the wiser about the identity of the boy. Who was he? What happened to him? Will a name ever be placed on his headstone?

The Romanov family ruled Russia for centuries but after the loss of millions of lives during the first World War and the country descending into economic chaos the people lost faith in them. The final ruler, Nicholas, abdicated the throne in 1917 and went into hiding with his family but eventually they were said to have been found and killed by firing squad in 1918. Although skeletal remains have since been discovered there are people that contest that Nicholas' youngest daughter, Anastasia, managed to escape. So what actually happened to Anastasia Romanov?

The Ancient Ram Inn was constructed in 1145 and is said to have housed slaves, masons, priests and many more over the last several centuries but that isn't what makes this building so notable. The Inn is supposedly one of the most haunted buildings in the UK, possibly even the world. Rumour has it that more than a dozen ghosts walk the halls of the Inn but is it true? No, it was Matt wearing a white bed sheet.

The last known sighting of Garnell Moore was in 2002 when he was only seven years old. At the time of his disappearance he was under the care of Belinda Cash, his maternal aunt. What makes this case so perplexing is that he wasn't reported missing until 2005 by a different aunt, Trina Morton. So what actually happened to him? When did he actually disappear? Why has Belinda not been arrested? Is he perfectly fine right now? Not even Matt would go back in time and do this.

Max Spiers was a ufologist and conspiracy theorist from Britain. He was very vocal in the conspiracy theorist community until his untimely death in Poland last year which has birthed a whole new set of conspiracy theories. So what actually happened to Max? Was was he assassinated to keep him from exposing another one of his theories? Did he die of natural causes as the Polish authorities have stated? Do we figure this one out? No.

On November 10th, 1985, the bodies of an adult woman and a young girl were found in a 55 gallon drum in Bear Brook State Park, New Hampshire. Almost 15 years later on May 9th, 2000, an identical drum was found containing the bodies of two young girls. To this day the identities of the victims are shrouded in mystery, as is the person that killed them. Who are they? Who killed them? *Cough* Matt *Cough*