Two Nerd Tables and a Microphone

"Every army should a have battle cry. You know, to strike fear. One might say he uh...takes it to new heights." -Izzet bodygaurd. We made a berserker for everyone's favorite mage guild.  This week's mehcanic is: Afflict: Afflict N (Whenever this creature becomes blocked, defending player loses N life.)

"What do you mean your raising my property tax! I'll lose everything!" We made a politics commander that just wants everything to go. Even it's own stuff. This week's mechanic is: Vanishing: Vanishing N (This permanent enters the battlefield with N time counters on it. At the beginning of your upkeep, remove a time counter from it. When the last is removed, sacrifice it.)

"It's nothing you've ever seen. It billows black ichor across everything it touches. Nothing living survives it's touch. The land itselft dies, never to recover." We made a phyrexian horror that blows up lands and spreads disease. This week's mechanic is: Infect: Infect (This creature deals damage to creatures in the form of -1/-1 counters and to players in the form of poison counters.)

"He was protector of the woods until Norn showed up. Now he's nothing more than violence sent out to weaken the front lines." We made a Gruul troll trying to draw cards...and beat dat ass of course. This week's mechanic: Proliferate:  (Choose any number of permanents and/or players, then give each another counter of each kind already there.) 

"He infests every corner of your dreams. His minions crawl through your mind even as you wake...He's my greatest creation." -Ashiok We drummed up a fun esper insect horror who your friends are gonna love(hate). This week's mechanic is: Dash: Dash [cost] (You may cast this spell for its dash cost. If you do, it gains haste, and it's returned from the battlefield to its owner's hand at the beginning of the next end step.)

"One guy tried callin'im 'The Land Shark...' I miss Jim." We made a Dimir merfolk rogue that's here to help you ramp, and smack your friends, but just a little bit. This week's mechanic is: Explore:  (Reveal the top card of your library. Put that card into your hand if it's a land. Otherwise, put a +1/+1 counter on this creature, then put the card back on top or into your graveyard.)

"Slimgix always had friends around to help him look for his belongings. One after the other they would show up always there to help him find his lost stuff." Holy hell we are inconsistent as of late. But we're still here. We're still weird. And we made all yall a fun goblin who loses everything. This week's mechinic is: Hellbent:  — as long as you have no cards in hand a thing happens.

"Even angels keep journals. Sigarda has one. She keeps it close like it's a sheild for something."                - Saytr commoner Another week, another Selesnya creature. But this week, it's also a saga.    This week's mechanic is: Hideaway: Hideaway N (When this permanent enters the battlefield, look at the top N cards of your library, exile one face down, then put the rest on the bottom of your library.)

"Her fasicantion with the dead was frowned upon. That is, until they needed an army to hold back the Phyrexian tide." - Stonebrow   This week we made ourselves a selesnya centaur who loves herself some zombies. We also talk about cum...ALOT. Sorry.   This week's mechanic is: Toxic: Toxic N (Players dealt combat damage by this creature also get N poison counter(s).)

Barty was always a strange one. Never had any friends. Never socializing. Honestly, he only liked being with himself. - Martha Blackwood. We're back!! And this week we made a bant vampire who loves to party, but only invites himself.  This week's mechanic is: Surveil N (Look at the top N cards of your library, then put any number of them into your graveyard and the rest on top of your library in any order.) Surveil 1 (Look at the top card of your library. You may put it into your graveyard.)

Crak'Vak smiled as he raised his arms. He had all the energy he needed to win. We made a ramping orzhov spellslinger. This week's mechanic is: Magecraft: Whenever you cast or copy an instant or sorcery spell, ...

This is a lost episode! It's a surprise even to me! ENJOY!...I don't know why I'm shouting!

"They never saw me coming..." We made a rad esper spider ninja who shows up when your opponent least expects(or wants). This week's mechanic is: Prowess: Creatures with prowess get +1/+1 until end of turn whenever a noncreature spell is cast by their controller

"This troll's a menace! Everything just falls into place for her. Just keep her away from her minions, and we'll be fine!" -Simic Geneticist We made a golgari troll, ya'll. And she likes he friends to be joined at the hip. This week's mechanic: Soulbound: (You may pair this creature with another unpaired creature when either enters the battlefield. They remain paired for as long as you control both of them.)

"So my minion has finally found it's way outside. No matter, they'll be back. Besides, the fresh air will do them some good." We're back! After almost 2 months away, we're coming in hot with a new third-ish host, and an Esper aetherborn horror who is just phasing in and out of combat. Also don't worry, TJ will be back with us next week. This week's mechanic is: Phasing: (This phases in or out before you untap during each of your untap steps. While it's phased out, it's treated as though it doesn't exist.) Phase out (While it's phased out, it's treated as though it doesn't exist. It phases in before its controller untaps during their next untap step.)

"Havir is relentless. When he shows, and he always does, running is the only option." We made a big ol bird giant who shows up swinging. This week's mechanic is: Bloodthirst N (If an opponent was dealt damage this turn, this permanent enters the battlefield with N +1/+1 counters on it.)

"The Myr by nature are servants. They follow no matter the order. But Uvi is different. I have plans for Uvi" - Tezzeret It's episode 100!!...and we forgot until the very end of the podcast. But we did make a really fun four color myr who has all sorts of fun abilities. This week's mechanic: Fading: (This creature enters the battlefield with N fade counters on it. At the beginning of your upkeep, remove a fade counter from it. If you can't, sacrifice it.)

"We no fight. The forest is alive, and killed many." -goblin underling We once again made a land creature. This time it's for your hot turbo fog deck I know you've been thinking about making. This week's mechanic is: Absorb: Absorb N (If a source would deal damage to this creature, prevent N of that damage.)

"Every is gone, sir...What do you mean gone? Sir...it destroyed everything." We made a real mean 4 color ooze that just doing pod things and creature things and pod things. This week's mechanic is: Reinforce: [cost] ([Cost], Discard this card: Put N +1/+1 counters on target creature.)

"The eldrazi are never truly gone. They escaped the void once, sending them back means nothing." We made an eldrazi processor playing with 1/1 counters. This week's mechanic is: Devour: (As this enters the battlefield, you may sacrifice any number of creatures. This creature enters the battlefield with N times that many +1/+1 counters on it.)

"She came from the sea, and walked with grace. We felt safe in her presence. Our enemies...they might say different." We made a simic merfolk(weird) who's bouncing enchantments. This week's mechanic: Aura Swap: ([Cost]: Exchange this Aura with an Aura card in your hand.)

" We saw it off in the distance. An island with calm water to rest our ships for the night. But as we neared, it seemed to dodge the fleet. Forcing us back into the open ocean. In hindsight, I'm thankful that's all it did." We made a turtle island who makes friends, lets you recast sorceries, AND is a mana rock. He's out here. Just...vibing. This week's mechanic is: Flashback: (You may cast this card from your graveyard for its flashback cost. Then exile it.)

"He's just so violent," she complained. Edgar chuckled. "My dear, he's just bitter he can't see himself anymore. He'll find away to cope, I'm sure." We made a vampire artificer that LOVES to look at himself. This week's mechanic is: Squad: (As an additional cost to cast this spell, you may pay [cost] any number of times. When this creature enters the battlefield, create that many tokens that are copies of it)

"You can't trust ANYONE here. You never know who is real." -Gruul berserker We're using the last of the New Capenna mechanics this week with our fun burn changeling. This week's mechanic is: Alliance: Whenever another creature enters the battlefield under your control...

"Be careful what you wish for. Because someone is always there to take it." -Su'Leu We made an esper fairy that looooooves treasures. This week's mechanic: Ascend: (If you control ten or more permanents, you get the city's blessing for the rest of the game.)

"They laughed aloud, at the silly donkey clowns. Then OozeKnuckle showed, and burned down the town." We made a noggle wizard who's not afraid to hurt himself to win. This week's mechanic is: Amass: amass N “If you don't control an Army creature, create a 0/0 black Zombie Army creature token. Choose an Army creature you control. Put N +1/+1 counters on that creature.”

"The shores were safe. Year upon year we were safe. She left, but always came back when most needed. But one day, she came back different." We made a merfolk wizard ready to curse and loot and sacrifice and probably party. This week's mechanic: Offering: (You may cast this card any time you could cast an instant by sacrificing a [Subtype] and paying the difference in mana costs between this and the sacrificed [Subtype]. Mana cost includes color.)

"Wood creaked as metal and brick hard chitin scraped against one another twisting into an unrecognizable mass. The beast had found it's host, and finally taken shape." We made a witchmaw, eldrazi, boat that makes your friends mill. This week's mechanic: Ingest: (Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, that player exiles the top card of their library)

"Riku's apprentice is not what you think. He's less...subtle. More of an all or nothing kind of wizard." We made temur bird wizard who goes all in on copies. This week's mechanic: Storm: (When you cast this spell, copy it for each spell cast before it this turn. You may choose new targets for the copies.)

He emerged from the Trial of Uncertainty alone. Beaten, glass eyed, and cold, Gilvac had done it. He'd finally bested his brother. We made a Naya exile commander that's gonna blow your stuff up. Strap in, he's a mean one. We(Andrew) also speaks out against god. It gets weird this week. This week's mechanic is: Exile" removed from the game..."

"Bredlohh wasn't the most conventionally diplomatic, but he got results." We drummed up a Temur "group hug" commander that gets sh** done. This week's mechanic is: Join forces: Starting with you, each player may pay any amount of mana. ...

Torth stumbled away from his fallen home. He was victorious, but at what cost. We made a rad Gruul commander who's pulling buds from his graveyard. This week's mechanic is: Double Strike: This creature deals both first-strike and regular combat damage.

"The clans found Ghez'rul only mostly dead, which was enough. They repurposed him after his failed theft to never fail them again." This week's mechanic: Raid: …, if you attacked this turn, …

The soldier cast the last bit of the vaults contents into the fire. "That's the last of it. Whatever all this stuff was, it's gone now." At that point the ground shuddered, and the grim statue began to stir. We made ourselves a big ol golem buddy who brings a lot of himself to the party. This week's mechanic: Delirium: If there are four or more card types among cards in your graveyard, …

"Oh no. She's here. Everyone! Prepare for the worst, or we'll be more more lost than our foe!" Zizrot is here to steal your lands, and has brought all her friends with her. This week's mechanic is: Sweep — Return any number of [basic land] you control to their owner's hand. ...

"He's a great worker. But for someone who stays late almost every night, he never seems to know why all the graves end up empty." We made a mono white ascend matters commander that's out here just filling up(and also removing)all the graveyards. This week's mechanic is: Ascend: (If you control ten or more permanents, you get the city's blessing for the rest of the game.)

"He can never just show up alone, can he? He always brings a damn entourage where ever he goes." Kirthis is here to party and he brought all his robot friends with him. We have a fun selesnya artificer that never parties alone. This week's mechanic is: Fabricate: (When this permanent enters the battlefield, you may put N +1/+1 counters on it. If you don't, create N 1/1 colorless Servo artifact creature tokens.)

"The stylish design and sophisticated feel of The Mry Battle Cycle will make you the talk of the town. The genuine Mirriodin steel mesh leather seats, and Phyrexian bio-infused claws will win over even the most finicky of critic." We made a fucking TRANSFORMER! Our very first colorless commander, and it's a pretty sweet modal card. This week's mechanic: Amass: (Put N +1/+1 counters on an Army you control. If you don't control one, create a 0/0 black Zombie Army creature token first.)

"If you see one, retreat. Because the swarm is on the horizon, and it is relentless." We. Are. Back! Coming in hot after a two week hiatus. We have a fun Izzet commander that's all about making friends that your opponents should probably block. This week's mechanic is: Frenzy: Frenzy N (Whenever this creature attacks and isn't blocked, it gets +N/+0 until end of turn.)

"Yes! Show them you destructive power!" The perplexed garrison watched Aredes as he loudly praised his summoned beasts. "Captain, a lone private shouted over the cacophonous roars of the hydra, I thought we were here to sign a peace treaty?" We made a bant centaur ready for some aggressive politics. This week's mechanic is: Join Forces: Starting with you, each player may pay any amount of mana. ...

"I'm just so tired. He never lets up. Every time you think he's gone, he just shows back up to destroy something else." Iburon is a Naya elephant with only three modes; none of them are good for your opponents. This week's mechanic is: Cleave: You may cast this card for it's cleave cost. If you do, remove the words in the brackets.

*We did 100% forgot there was already a legendary creature named Rafiq in MTG when we named this week's commander. S/O to all the Rafiq of the Many stans out there. Our bad.* "He can never make up his damn mind. He wants us all to be stronger than him, but also wants to be the strongest. I just don't get it." We drummed up an Abzan turtle for our first of two Crimson Vow episodes. He's a soldier that just wants his buddies to be as buff as him. This week's mechanic is: Training: When a Training creature attacks alongside another creature that has a power greater than it, its controller can place a +1/+1 counter on the creature with less power.

As Phask appeared the rocks stirred and the ground quaked. His presence was overpowering. Thankfully, he leaves as quickly as he appears. We made a solid mono green golem.

Pyrok's birth is always violent. The immediate loss of a life is needed to unleash his full power. The ultimate example of the many outweighing the few. We made a Boros elemental that explodes once he's had his fill. This week's mechanic: Emerge: Emerge [cost] (You may cast this spell by sacrificing a creature and paying the emerge cost reduced by that creature's converted mana cost)

"You'll be dead soon, the voice whispered to Porgnoid. You'll be fuel for the coming fire." He quickly sat upright looking around for the owner of the voice. It sounded like that old shaman's he thought, but he'd been dead for days now... We drummed up a goblin shaman who is all about haunting his minions while chewing through the library. Haunt: (When this creature dies, exile it haunting target creature.)

The arrival of the bog mist was a curse. They're always in there. Goading us. Mocking us. Ending us. We got a Sultai changling that's always swinging. We also broach the topics of butthole botox and bully Tom Brady. This week's mechanic: Provoke: (Whenever this creature attacks, you may have target creature defending player controls untap and block it if able.)

"I'll never leave, bellowed Zesh'Dox! I am eternal! Death means nothing when one's grave is just a hole!" We missed a week! But, in my "professional" opinion, we made up for it with this how Witchmaw zombie troll. This week's mechanic: Persist: (When this creature dies, if it had no -1/-1 counters on it, return it to the battlefield under its owner's control with a -1/-1 counter on it.)

"I see all from afar to only bring the end to those so close." We made an Azorius sphinx whose curses sting a little. This week's mechanics: Coven: If you control three or more creatures with different powers do ____

" No one lives forever. But if I have my way, they can at least live twice." This is the first of our Innastrad: Midnight Hunt commanders, and he's a nasty three color wizards. He's an abazan lich who just wants to bring all his friends back from the graveyard. This week's mechanic is: Disturbed: (You may cast this card from your graveyard transformed for its disturb cost.)

The silence of the forest was shattered. He had arrived, and they knew their end was neigh. We got ourselves a mono green phyrexian that devours all life; your opponent's as well as your own. This week's mechanic is: Channel: Until end of turn, any time you could activate a mana ability, you may pay 1 life. If you do, add {C}.

Chevrath waited patiently in the antechamber. "Absolutely NOT!" The king's shouts rang out against the stone walls of the keep. "Sir, he can hear you." Chevrath laughed. "He'll come on around, he thought. Once he sees what I see, he may never let me leave." We made a badger shaman that wants to give you all the information. This week's mechanic is: Fading: N (This creature enters the battlefield with N fade counters on it. At the beginning of your upkeep, remove a fade counter from it. If you can't, sacrifice it.)