Untitled Star Trek Project

Star Trek: Voyager, Series 6, Episode 5. First broadcast on Wednesday 20 October 1999. Stardate: Unknown (2376). Sometimes everything just comes together — a dull script, routine design, a generic score, perfunctory direction, an uncharismatic leading man and a guest star's strange and flaccid performance. Meanwhile, on Star Trek: Voyager, Tom screams at his long-suffering girlfriend after falling in love with a car or something.

Star Trek: Lower Decks, Series 5, Episode 10. First broadcast on Thursday 19 December 2024. Stardate: Unknown. This week, we witness the ascension of Star Trek: Lower Decks, as it finishes its run on television and becomes a show fuelled by interdimensionality itself — decoupling its superpositions and spriralling off into an infinite number of unseen quantum possibilities. It's funny and heartwarming and visually arresting, of course, and we can't imagine what life would be like without it. Engage the core!

Star Trek: Lower Decks, Series 5, Episode 7. First broadcast on Thursday 28 November 2024. Stardate: 59499.6. This week, Tendi and T'Lyn learn the usual Star Trek lesson about co-operation and competition, Boimler and Rutherford learn that Starfleet uniforms are less absorbent than is sometimes necessary, and Mariner learns that the real Inner Light experience comes from the friends (and murderers) we meet along the way. And Data shows up too, is just as delightful and wise as we always expect him to be.

Star Trek: The Original Series, Series 3, Episode 12. First broadcast on Friday 6 December 1968. Stardate: 5121.5. A series of urgent production catastrophes this week, as we arrive at Paramount Studios with no set, no lines for our female guest star, and a script with no story and no plot. Can these omnipotent bum-headed aliens help us out?

Star Trek: The Next Generation, Series 3, Episode 21. First broadcast on Monday 29 April 1991. Stardate: 44769.2. This week, Jean Simmons strides imperiously onto the Enterprise bridge, accompanied by her executive assistant, her scary stenographer, her daddy issues, and a terrifying sense of self-righteous rage. Unmissable.

Star Trek: Enterprise, Series 3, Episode 23. First broadcast on Wednesday 19 May 2004. Stardate: Unknown (2154). It's the second last episode of the Xindi arc, which can only mean one thing: a big, dumb spectacle in which we're all trying to prevent a bunch of lizards wearing slinkies from hurling a massive lethal wiffle ball into planet Earth. Fortunately, Connor, Jolene and Billingsley are here with some acting for us to enjoy as well.

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Series 6, Episode 7. First broadcast on Friday 10 October 1997. Stardate: 51247.5. This week, Worf and Jadzia celebrate the triumphant 150th episode of Untitled Star Trek Project by setting a date for their wedding, holding one fun party and one excruciating one, punching a future mother-in-law in the face, calling off the wedding, calling it back on again, and having sex with that handsome young lieutenant from the USS Sutherland. Or was that last one just us?

Star Trek: The Next Generation, Series 1, Episode 26. First broadcast on Monday 16 May 1988. Stardate: 41986.0. This week, Joe and Nathan are woken from 380 years of cryosleep to discover that the world has changed forever: the ship's captain isn't friendly and welcoming like Captain Stubing, some of their ports of call have been scooped in their entirety off the surface of the planet, and those people in that scary green cruise ship over there look very unfriendly indeed.

Star Trek: Voyager, Series 1, Episode 16. First broadcast on Monday 22 May 1995. Stardate: 48846.5. Two B-plots on Star Trek: Voyager this week, each one more forgettable than the other. In the A B-plot, Tuvok is unreasonably mean to four obnoxious misfits, while the B B-plot is somehow about cheese.

Star Trek: Discovery, Series 2, Episodes 13–14. First broadcast on Thursday 11 April 2019 and Thursday 18 April 2019. Stardate: 1050.8. The whole of Discovery Series 2 has been leading to this: a baffling and possibly ill-advised decision to catapult the show 930 years into the future. (Spoiler: it turns out better than we could have dared to imagine.) On the way though, we get to experience breathtaking CGI, some vertiginous camerawork, and more heartfelt and prolonged emotion than the entire history of the franchise to date.

Star Trek: The Next Generation, Series 5, Episode 6. First broadcast on Monday 28 October 1991. Stardate: 45208.2. This week, it's The One Where the Entire Crew is Taken over by an Orgasmatronic Video Game. Oh, and Wesley's back as well. It's Star Trek, at the very top of its (don't say it) Game.

Star Trek: Lower Decks, Series 5, Episode 2. First broadcast on Thursday 24 October 2024. Stardate: 59376.9. Everyone learns a valuable lesson this week: Boimler learns about the perks and perils of being the fun boss, Tendi learns what it takes to be a kick-ass swashbuckling aunt, and T'Lyn learns why, how and how much Rutherford and Tendi love each other. Even the gardener bot gets a little arc. (Good for him.)

Star Trek: Voyager, Series 6, Episode 25. First broadcast on Wednesday 17 May 2000. Stardate: Unknown (2376). This week, Star Trek remembers that its two most important jobs are scaring children and giving us hope for the future. It doesn't do either of these particularly well in The Haunting of Deck Twelve, but the whole thing is fun and confident enough to entertain us for forty-five minutes. And sometimes that's enough.

Star Trek: Enterprise, Series 2, Episode 3. First broadcast on Wednesday 2 October 2002. Stardate: Unknown (2152). A change of pace for Star Trek this week, as the writers of Enterprise decide to explore the rightly-neglected relationship between Captain Archer and his completely featureless Armory Officer, Malcolm Reed. As so often happens, people get strapped to a bomb, Romulans utter muscular threats, and the most interesting members of the crew are completely sidelined.

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Series 6, Episode 24. First broadcast on Wednesday 20 May 1998. Stardate: Unknown (2374). This week, Miles and Keiko struggle to work out how to react when their daughter ruins a perfectly pleasant family picnic by plummeting accidentally into an high-concept science fiction premise. Meanwhile, back on the station, their son falls foul of a sudden sitcom outbreak, banging his head on a table in what seems, in context, to be a comparatively sensible and comprehensible accident. It's all a lot of nonsense, of course, but the people are nice, and everything turns out for the best.

Star Trek: The Next Generation, Series 3, Episode 4. First broadcast on Monday 16 October 1989. Stardate: 43173.5. – You see, my people once lived in caves. And then we learned to build huts and, in time, to build ships like this one. – Perhaps one day, my people will travel above the skies. – Of that, I have absolutely no doubt. Top-tier Star Trek this week, as The Next Generation belatedly hits its stride, with a well-written, well-acted and well-made story about the beauty and fragility of progress.

Star Trek: Voyager, Series 2, Episode 11. First broadcast on Monday 20 November 1995. And Seska is back! Everyone's favourite Bajoran Maquis Cardassian traitress returns — with a daring plan to unite the Kazon sects, or to destroy Voyager, or to capture Chakotay and collect a couple of teaspoonfuls of his DNA. Ahem. Anyway, at least Joe and Nathan get the chance to reminisce about a version of the show that they enjoyed and that gave the cast plenty of fun stuff to do.

Star Trek: The Original Series, Series 3, Episode 20. First broadcast on Friday 21 February 1969. This week, we learn a valuable lesson previously only known to the most tedious middle-aged people: that young people these days are arrogant, embarassing, and stupid — and also probably communists. Meanwhile, the crew of the Enterprise have all forgotten to remove their “Nixon's the One!” badges, upsettingly.

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Series 1, Episode 10. First broadcast on Sunday 14 March 1993. This week, we travel back to a time in the distant past aboard Deep Space Nine, a time before anyone has worked out how the show should be played, written or directed. There's some fun to be had, of course, but not from watching this episode.

Star Trek Movie #8. Release date: 1996 After a botched first attempt back in 1994, the Star Trek movie franchise brings back many of the beloved characters from Star Trek: The Next Generation in a thrilling adventure, packed full of action, scares and laughs — as well as some sexy moments with an undead cyborg lizard and an optimistic message about the future of humanity. Five stars, really.

Star Trek: Picard, Series 1, Episode 4. First broadcast on Thursday 13 February 2020. It's been thirty-five years since the Romulans turned up again out of the blue, but now we couldn't imagine a day without them. And so many of them! Narek and Narissa, two English Romulan Game of Thrones fans who are trying to kill Data's (remaining) daughter. Zani, a stunningly calm and beautiful Romulan Sincerity Nun. Her ward Elnor, an adorably elfin Romulan Truth Ninja from Melbourne. And a whole angry mob of hot refugee Romulans bearing a justified grudge against Picard for making a loud moral stand while failing to actually help them in any way. And Rios, Agnes and Raffi are here too of course, in a transitional episode that gives us the chance to talk about where Picard goes wrong, and what it still manages to do very well.

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Series 5, Episode 20. First broadcast on Monday 21 April 1997. Again, the story doesn't really have a legitimate theme, it's just More Ferengi Farce, but without any solid laughs. In fact, I'd put “Ferengi Love Songs” on or near the bottom of the Ferengi episode list. Jamahl Epsicokhan, Jammer's Reviews It's all pretty trivial and unamusing. The only reason this is watchable at all is that Armin Shimerman is so accomplished. Moogie is right – leave your action figures in their original packaging. Tom Salinksy, Trekaday It was a show that worked well in dailies, in little snippets, but put it all together and you're saying ‘Enough already!'" Ira Steven Behr, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine Companion – I don't think that that episode was as good as either A Night in Sickbay or Genesis, but I do think it was pretty fun, and I'm glad that Deep Space Nine does it. – Yeah, I don't think that was an amazing episode, but pretty fun, I'll take. Nathan and Joe, Untitled Star Trek Project

Star Trek: Enterprise, Series 3, Episode 18. First broadcast on Wednesday 3 March 2004. This week, the Xindi and some big-ass lizard guy get to beat the crap out of (a) Enterprise and (b) Captain Archer, respectively. Meanwhile, Nathan and Joe are delighted, not because they're mean (although they are), but because this is such a thoroughly entertaining hour of Star Trek: Enterprise. Who knew such things could be?

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Series 4, Episode 17. First broadcast on Saturday 24 February 1996. This week, Miles and Julian learn about larping and friendship, Kira learns about clay and the inevitability of authoritarian male religious figures, and we learn about subtext and delightful character development — all thanks to Jane Espenson, who, it turns out, is the real hero of the episode.

Star Trek: The Animated Series, Series 1, Episode 6. First broadcast on Saturday 13 October 1973. This week, crudely-drawn slow-moving simulacra of the Enterprise crew interact listlessly in a crudely-drawn slow-moving simulacrum of Star Trek. Except for the shapeshifting red octopus, which is awesome. Meanwhile, Joe drops £2.50 renting a Star Trek episode whose budget was nearly ten times that, adjusted for inflation.

Star Trek: The Next Generation, Series 6, Episodes 3. First broadcast on Monday 5 October 1992. It's an outstandingly stupid episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation this week, except for the astonishingly brilliant idea of giving Marina fun things to do and a range of fabulously fun things to wear. Actually, let me start that again. It's an astonishingly brilliant episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation this week,…

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Series 6, Episode 20. First broadcast on Wednesday 22 April 1998. Fly me to the moon Let me trek among the stars Let me taste the cocktails In some holographic bars In other words, please be true In other words, I love you

Star Trek: Prodigy, Series 1, Episodes 19–20. First broadcast on Thursday 22 December 2022 and Thursday 29 December 2022. You may think you need me to get there, but after seeing everything you've accomplished, I have full confidence you'll find your way. Because together your potential is infinite. Now, go boldly. This week, the crew of the USS Protostar save the Galaxy in the most selfless and heartwarming way imaginable, in a version of Star Trek that's complex, enthralling and breathtakingly beautiful.

Star Trek: Discovery, Series 4, Episode 1. First broadcast on Thursday 18 November 2021. The crew of the USS Discovery are really settling down and starting to enjoy their new life in the 32nd century — fixing some butterflies' GPS network, giving a commencement speech to some socially-distanced Starfleet Academy students, and fixing the unexpected and alarming angular velocity of a Federation space station. Then suddenly an unimaginable tragedy strikes.

Star Trek: The Next Generation, Series 6, Episode 9. First broadcast on Saturday 14 November 1992. Data is excited to get a new puppy and understandably miffed when Riker decides to explode it in order to solve this week's space problem. Back on Earth, Nathan is delighted by the story's optimism and sheer nerdery, while Joe remains sceptical.

Star Trek: Voyager, Series 2, Episode 18. First broadcast on Monday 19 February 1996. Opinions are split on this week's Untitled Star Trek Project, with Nathan leading the prosecution and Joe the defence. Will Nathan sentence Death Wish to be imprisoned a comet, subsisting only on a rare form of Nogatch hemlock? Or will Joe prevail with the argument that at least it's Voyager trying to have something to say and giving John DeLancie a new thing to do?

Star Trek: Lower Decks, Series 3, Episode 7. First broadcast on Thursday 6 October 2022. This week, a mathematically perfect recurring villain gets her own episode of Star Trek, and we discover how much fun the show can be without all that relentless moralising, just moments before we also discover how much fun it is to watch a villain get her comeuppance while some dunderheaded bird people shake off the dead shackles of a stupid tradition.

Star Trek: The Original Series, Series 2, Episode 25. First broadcast on Friday 15 March 1968. In hoc episodio, cum nautae astronavis Enterprise ad Urbem Aeternam pervenissent, brevi tempore magister Kirk amicos suos in harena certantes spectavit, passerem garo elixum gustavit, ancillam formosissimam futuit, postremo festinanter discessit. Sed dum navem solvit, cognoscit se testem fuisse novam religionem pacis ac fraternitatis oriri.

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Series 5, Episode 24. First broadcast on Monday 19 May 1997. This week, Deep Space Nine does the best that it can with a slasher horror premise involving four redshirts and some murderous Cardassians, including beloved secondary character, plain, simple Garak. Fortunately, no one suffers any long-term ill-effects — except for the people who are no longer around to complain, I suppose.

Star Trek: Enterprise, Series 4, Episodes 18–19. First broadcast on Friday 22 April 2005 and Friday 29 April 2005. The finish line is in sight this week for Star Trek: Enterprise, and so it's time to throw out the rulebook and have some fun for a change, with a preposterous farrago of fan service that remembers at least that one of our most important jobs is to be enjoyable and entertaining. T'Pol starts wearing a miniskirt and Archer drinks some poisoned champagne, and, frankly, we couldn't possibly be happier.

Star Trek: The Next Generation, Series 3, Episode 13. First broadcast on Monday 5 February 1990. As private parts to the gods are we! They play with us for their sport! Lord Melchett, Blackadder II: Chains A defrocked god appears on the bridge of the USS Enterprise and wanders around being much more fun than anyone else aboard. (Apart from Whoopi Goldberg, obviously. And maybe Brent this week.) A solid outing from TNG's Imperial Phase.

Star Trek: Prodigy, Series 2, Episodes 1–2. First broadcast on Monday 1 July 2024. Star Trek: Prodigy is here for a second season, bringing our crew back together and sending them off on an epic mission aboard the USS Voyager. It's Star Trek: Voyager as you've never seen it before, but it would be cruel of us to say why. (Hint: we both think it's really good.) Also appearing: the two best Roberts, which is quite exciting.

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Series 3, Episode 8. First broadcast on Monday 14 November 1994. This week, Deep Space Nine serves up a Star Trek: The Next Generation episode, in which a respected female character undertakes an ill-advised heterosexual romance with a creepy and unattractive white guy, which makes her look like an idiot. Meanwhile, over in the B-plot, Quark and Jeffrey Coombs try to get hold of some deepfake celebrity porn of Nana Visitor.

Star Trek: The Animated Series, Series 1, Episode 8. First broadcast on Saturday 27 October 1973. This week, with a budget of dozens of crisp American dollars at their disposal, Joe and Nathan pull out their smocks, palettes, easels and oils in order to bring you a lavishly illustrated story of human creativity and achievement in a 25-minute episode you won't be embarassed to show your kids. Or not terminally embarrassed, anyway.

Star Trek: Voyager, Series 7, Episode 15. First broadcast on Wednesday 14 February 2001. This week we drop into a parallel universe where Voyager's situation is desperate, resources are constrained, and the crew has no alternative but to live by its principles — helping, making friends, reaching out, forming alliances, working together to solve problems, seeking out new life and new civilisations, that sort of thing. Turns out, it would have made quite a good premise for a Star Trek series.

Star Trek: The Next Generation, Series 1, Episode 14. First broadcast on Monday 25 January 1988. Nothing to learn about gender politics this week as we visit Angel One, where large aggressive women lord it over their twinky male consorts, and Star Trek: The Next Generation finds plenty of exciting new ways to be as offensively sexist as possible. Could someone pass Gene a napkin, please?

Star Trek: The Original Series, Series 1, Episode 25. First broadcast on Thursday 9 March 1967. A terrifying cave monster attacks a bunch of miners in pastel jumpsuits and burns them alive: it must be killed to ensure a continuing supply of raw materials for the engines of capitalism. But then, of course, we reach out, learn that the monster is a person, and thereby discover a terrifying truth about ourselves. A triumph: literally the thing that Star Trek is for.

Star Trek: Lower Decks, Series 3, Episode 1. First broadcast on Thursday 25 August 2022. While we wait for the final season of Lower Decks to drop, we head back into the show's distant past to see how it reintroduces itself to the world at the start of its third season. As you might expect, it's with love, loyalty, extreme cartoon violence and a few affectionate digs at one of our favourite Star Trek films. And, inevitably, gallons and gallons of alien seminal fluid.

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Series 6, Episode 13. First broadcast on Monday 2 November 1998. Some time in 2374, Ben Sisko, tired of helming Deep Space Nine in wartime, considers handing the job over to someone else. At the same time but in 1953, Benny Russell dreams of a version of himself living beyond the daily indignities of existing as a Black man in America. And meanwhile in 1998, people tuning in for this week's episode of White People Living on the Moon find themselves watching something far better than they had a right to expect.

Star Trek: Enterprise, Series 3, Episode 12. First broadcast on Wednesday 14 January 2004. This week, untrustworthy foreigners attack and terrorise Enterprise for literally no reason other than the arbitrary tenets of their weird and incorrect religion. There's a lesson to be learned here, but only if you don't think too hard about it.

Star Trek: The Next Generation, Series 1, Episode 20. First broadcast on Monday 21 March 1988. Long before the invention of Ronald D Moore, the Klingons were simple souls who enjoyed brownface, poisoning grain, making lists of rules, and planting a bomb on the bridge of the Enterprise. But by 2364, the next generation of Klingons had embraced the wave of liberalism sweeping across the galaxy, all except for a few holdouts who refused to read the series bible and decided they would pass their time yelling and pointing guns at the warp core instead.

Star Trek: The Next Generation, Series 5, Episode 5. First broadcast on Monday 21 October 1991. In this week's outstanding instalment of Competent People Solving Space Problems, the Enterprise is hit by an unexpected and dangerous premise which separates the crew into five distinct subplots and forces each of them to confront their greatest fears. Deanna contends with yet another fibriform space anomaly, Geordi faces the horrors of a Gilbert and Sullivan patter song, Worf takes on the unlikely and challenging role of midwife, Data finds himself having to leave his genitals in another room, and Picard is trapped in a confined space and compelled to be nice to people for a while.

Star Trek: Voyager, Series 6, Episode 3. First broadcast on Wednesday 6 October 1999. A quick trip to the afterlife this week, as B'Elanna discovers the importance of faith and family, and as Voyager itself discovers (too late, perhaps) the importance of the same things. We also learn that hell is the Voyager sets only lit slightly differently, which is something that we had hitherto only suspected.

Star Trek: The Next Generation, Series 3, Episode 3. First broadcast on Monday 9 October 1989. On the ravaged surface of the Federation colony planet Rana IV, the crew of the USS Enterprise are surprised to discover an excitingly modernist Malibu home set in a lush, quadrilateral garden; after landing on the planet with an away team, Will Riker is surprised to find himself dangling upside down by his ankles; soon after that Deanna Troi is surprised to find herself suffering from an unpleasant and potentially fatal earworm. Meanwhile, back in 1990, Nathan Bottomley and a very young Joe Ford are increasingly surprised to discover a new season of Star Trek: The Next Generation which is easily surpassing both its predecessors in both competence and interest.

Star Trek: Strange New Worlds, Series 1, Episode 9. First broadcast on Thursday 30 June 2022. Of course the people you care about are going to cause you pain. It will hurt, but the love it yields will far outweigh the sorrow. Now, hand me the electron coupler. In this week's Strange New Worlds, we watch standard space genre things happen to relaxed and likeable characters. Which, turns out, works incredibly well.

Star Trek: Voyager, Series 5, Episode 18. First broadcast on Wednesday 3 March 1999. For the living know that they shall die: but the dead know not any thing, neither have they any more a reward; for the memory of them is forgotten. (Ecclesiastes 9:5) This week, like every week, we continue to experience our gradual, humiliating dissolution, to dread our own inevitable deaths, and to consider with dismay the deaths of everyone we have ever known or loved. And so, to cheer ourselves up, we decide to watch an episode of Star Trek: Voyager.