Whoa, Dad!

When you have a fun cool dad that parties and does drugs with you at concerts and a mom who turns into a cruel Disney witch when she drinks, what you gonna do? GO TO AL-ANON! That's what has helped today's guest, Harper, who just recently has healed from the chaos of parents with substance abuse. 

The amount of times Mav's dad has failed at attempted suicide is dramatically humerus at this point. He's invincible. You gotta laugh at the dark stuff to get by and Mav did just that to stay sane.  In order to cope with her parents Mav had to live by the mantra and persona of being an "everything's fine" person. And that has stabbed her in the back. 

Even though Noah has good parents, he still wound up in jail because of following his Dad's cardinal rule "honesty is the best policy" and to never lie.  The big lesson here is: 1) there's no such thing as perfect parents. 2) don't EVER tell the cops the truth when it comes to drugs. And 3) sometimes too much support can make your kid ill prepared for the reality of this cruel and manipulative world. 

This one's a doozy. Comedian Austin Train was raised by his grandma who is still with us today. Thank god. Austin joins me to talk about his complicated relationship with his mom who has always put herself first and his distant dad who's trying to make it right. 

Melanie Mary's mom went to jail the same time her dad was getting out. And now she is confronting her abandonment issues by taking her life into her own hands and putting herself first for once. Looking after parents when they haven't looked after you your whole life is something many abandoned children struggle with and face resentment. I'm guilty of it. But in Melanie's case, she has been taking care of her mom with stage four cancer, only to learn that her mom will never be the mom she wants her to bye. This is why we're comics.

This one is a wild one. Lara's dad plays dead just so she will come and visit him and tend to his needs. Most kids grow up playing pretend with their parents but in Lara's case it wasn't to entertain her childlike imagination, but to calm her dad down from his hallucinations. From pretending to pick glass out of his arm to calling the fake FBI, Lara has always been catering to her dads opioid addiction and hypochondriac paranoia. Meanwhile, dealing with a mom that doesn't exude the most loving energy. 

Kelly was my ideal guest because she lets it all out with tears and yelling. YES! A true comedian and great daughter. Even though she has a great relationship with her parents she still got a little screwed up. Trying to maintain the peace, being mindful of her parents feelings and feeling guilty for her flaws, Kelly works hard at being a perfect daughter. But it will never be enough. As she explains, aka erupts, in this episode. Even when you come from a solid family it can take a lot to maintain that happiness and we end up parenting our parents. Follow Kelly https://www.instagram.com/thisiskellyryan/?hl=en  

Physically abused by his mom, sent to disciplinary boarding schools and outdoor wilderness programs for troubled kids, Zach has been through all the discipline.  Being the youngest, Zach endured a lot more anger from his mom and was still able to forgive her. Talk about working on yourself and coming out on top!

The women who took everything, his moms. You thought Rob's dad was bad? Wait until you hear what his stepmom AND birth mom did once his dad was gone. Just when Rob was doing well in school and starting to land on his feat, both of the women in his life abandon, betray and steal from him. This is ep is a two parter because there are truly two key chapters in Rob's life where his parental figures f***d him over. Through the help of Rob's teachers and his own persistence, he overcame his family hurdles and turned out pretty damn good. 

"Do you want the long or short version of how I almost killed my father" Comedian Rob Smallwood was pushed to the limit by his abusive father. And when it was time to defend his family he almost took his dads life. Just when he thought he was in the clear and on his way to live a normal life, his mom and stepmom did him dirty. There are two significant chapters in his life that his parents f***'d him over so this ep is a two parter. This week is about how Rob's dad. Next week, we cover how his mom and stepmom both stole his college opportunities and money. 

Erika's mom left her at the age of 6 to go find herself. And despite everything, Erika has been able to forgive and reestablish a close relationship with her mom later in life. She shares how she discovered and got over her codependency, love bombs and unhealthy relationships. This Author, Executive Producer and Show Runner (AKA POWERHOUSE) has overcome her abandonment issues in a way I've never considered before.  I highly recommend her book "Doing It Scared" https://www.amazon.com/stores/erika-bryant/author/B08W2DLFYR?ref=ap_rdr&store_ref=ap_rdr&isDramIntegrated=true&shoppingPortalEnabled=true

Ben's smothering and paranoid parents pushed him to rebel in the most extreme way. Prostitutes, stealing and gambling was how he coped with pretending to be perfect for so long. Ben had to set boundaries in order to get back on track. But there's a family secret that would probably help solve a lot of the issues. His daddy's disowned and won't say why. Which clearly comes out in his anger issues.  Follow Ben www.instagram.com/benherwitzcomedian And check out his new podcast Ben The Menace  

Comedian Julia Austin became a teenage detective when she caught her dad having a provocative phone call with someone other than her mom. That's when she was determined to catch him in the act.  Julia talks about the lengths she went to, to get encourage her parents to get a divorce and the impact her Dad's affair had on her physical health. Now that her dad is with the "other woman", Julia and her siblings are a second thought compared to the pretty pretty princess that broke up her family.  But that didn't stop Julia from having such a healthy and grounded outlook on the situation. Julia should write a self help book about how to look past your parents flaws.  This girl is smart as F***.

It's time to shed some light on Mommy issues and there is no better person to broach this subject than producer, writer, actor, Claire Cavalheiro. Claire's mom is a flow blown narcissist and after years of emotional abuse Claire had no other choice than to cut her out. But goddamn are some of these stories SO funny!

Comedic personality Sharon Fredrickson spent the majority of her life trying to make Daddy proud and get his approval. So much so that she followed a career path and achieved material success that made her miserable in hopes of getting his approval. Although her dad likes to knock her down (emotionally not physically, phew), Sharon is still one of the most authentic and hilarious I-don't-give-a-f*** people I've known. Listen, she DID almost blow it and ruin her relationship but she bounced back. Sharon can teach ya thing or two about sticking up for yourself. Catch Sharon on  @REACT   @People Vs Food  Listen to more eps of WHOA,DAD! anywhere you get your podcasts. Watch this on youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8VxIT99mM8g Follow Sharon on: TikTok: @sfredrickson1 Instagram: @sfredrickson https://www.instagram.com/sfredrickson/?hl=en Follow me on: TikTok: Nikkibon Instagram: Nikkibon You actually wanna venmo us? WHOA, THANKS! Sharon's Venmo: @sfredrickson My Venmo teehee: @nikki-bon If you like what you see and wanna donate and get extra content sign up for https://www.patreon.com/nikkibon

Part 1 we talked mostly industry. In Bobby Lee PT 2 we get down and dirty with what I've been waiting for, his daddy issues.   If you're a new listener I highly recommend, after this, starting at ep 1. Watch full interview on https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rV1Pg8uYM3E

The great Bobby Lee's here subbing in for Bobby the dad. You may know him from Mad TV, his stand-up specials, his podcasts or every show out right now. But I know him for his daddy issues. K that's not what stands out about him. But he wouldn't be where he is today if it wasn't for the abusive relationship he had with his dad. Bobby's outlook on life childhood trauma is pretty inspiring. Damn, there's just something so comforting about saying the name 'Bobby' on the pod again. 

This week it's my boyfriend who is joining us. He's here to give some insight and perspective on what he has witnessed throughout this whole process. He didn't wanna do it but I made him. Poor guy. Not only has he had to deal with my daddy issues, but now he's having to replace him on the podcast. I figured, may as well get Matt to fill the void as per usual. 

Ryan and I realize that we fall under the category of Daddy Issues comics. Comics who are scared to ask for things because we are so used to disappointment that what's the point? This isn't a woe is me story, just a behavioral observation. In this ep, Ryan goes deep about his dad not defending his sister when she was sexually assaulted, what it's like having a daughter of his own and his deep dark fantasies about killing his dad. Don't worry he's not gonna do it. It's just what happens when you want validation so badly...you would kill for it. 

Comedian Ryan Clark has just recently let his dad back into his life after having to take a step back to protect his daughter. With a dad who has anger issues and temperamental mood swings, Ryan's been walking on eggshells his whole life. And Ryan's here to share how he has come to terms with the fact that "closure is a luxury".     

Comedian, Margaux Hamilton, has always had a dad that shows up to every game and swim meet. But when it comes to putting her first, its Margaux vs the girlfriend. And the girlfriend always wins. Margaux has gone through many stepmoms and every time she has struggled with not being a priority in her dads life. He's there physically but not mentally. Just recently Margaux had to step up to the plate when her dad had a heart attack and was in a coma. While battling if to pull the plug she also had to take on her dads girlfriend who wasn't making things any easier. Since then, Margaux has had to to step back from her relationship with her dad in order to stop dating guys like her dad. 

It's been about two months since we have spoken and now Bobby's back! Just in time for my birthday episode.  I will give a rundown of what happened when we finally spoke after our fight and what happened when we made up but before my dad logs on to record.  I think it's too soon and he isn't ready to talk about it on the podcast. But we will get there!  So instead, we try to pick up where we left off and test my dad to see what he would do if he was around for my birthday when I was a kid. His party ideas are surprisingly better than what my mom did. It's all fun and games until he gets into my birth story. Consider yourself warned. 

We continue the conversation with Emily and her dad's secret. Emily had to cut him off when she realized that her toxic relationships with men were a result of her relationship with her dad. Duh. That's normally the way. It's what brought her to this point in time, that is compelling.  I dunno which part of this episode is more interesting, that she was in a Christian cult or here dads reaction to the final conversation. 

Growing up in a heavy Christian household, Emily never expected to watch her dad, a Pastor, get arrested when she was 13. Emily's dad has a secret and she has finally decided to cut off all communication in order to have a healthier relationship with men and herself. Wanna know what he did? You'll have to listen to find out. Emily's story and who she has grown to be today is mind blowing. Did I mention she almost joined a Christian Cult? 

While I wait to talk to my dad, the show must go on. And now I'm talking to people with daddy issues of all different kinds. Hilarious comic and good pal Matt Lockwood talks about the effects of growing up with a dad who was physically there but not emotionally. He has lived through one of my biggest fears, stepparents breaking up your family and being forgotten about. Would you rather a parent who isn't there physically or emotionally? Either way, we both have the same insecurities.

My dad and I aren't speaking right now. So this one hurts. It's been three weeks since we last spoke and since I don't know when the next time will be, I am doing this episode alone to explain what happened and where we are at.  We got into a little argument, which I will explain on this episode, and now I am waiting for him to call me when he's ready to talk. Until then, I figured it's only fair, to share what happened since it's a part of our journey. But I sure do hate being this vulnerable. I'm not sure if this is a break or what will happen next but please stick with us as we figure out the ups and downs of building a relationship.  You can continue to watch videos on our instagram @whoadadpodcast And I will be posting more videos and longer clips on my youtube channel youtube.com/nikkibon And doing a video journal on patreon.com/nikkibon

There's been a lot of things to confront my dad about lately. Like why doesn't he call me back? His aloof texts. If he's ever going to book a flight to visit me?! And his answers aren't exactly what I was looking for.

My boyfriend and I got into a fight over the holidays so I bring the issue to my dad to see if he has any fatherly input. Believe it or not, he really puts things into perspective and gives some sound advice. While highlighting my faults. Ouch. 

For the second year in a row my dad reads the 'The Night Before Christmas' which officially makes this our holiday tradition. However, the holiday spirit is almost lost when he tells me he didn't get me a Christmas present and I experience an embarrassing bout of food poisoning. Happy holidays! 

My dad has gone back to his old ways of texting me things that trigger my abandonment issues and it's time to bring it up. I hate this part. My hair is falling out because I had the delta variant and my dad doesn't make me feel better when he tells me he can see my bald spots. After this episode it feels the only progress we have made is apparently he has cut back on Nicorette now that he is breathing through his nose? We will see about that. 

In the second half of our chat with comedian Monarey Martinez we discuss energetic nets that haunt Los Angeles, a horrifying sky diving experience, acid trips and what lead Monarey to be a comedian. Of course, Bobby has his moments and tries to get us to repeat ourselves three times and gets off track to talk about his latest discovery of what the government is hiding. But I'm getting better at editing him in the moment. Maybe we are getting somewhere? Probably not.  Follow Monarey on instagram https://www.instagram.com/monareym/?hl=en Monarey's Podcast The Shamic https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-shamic/id1553689544  

Up and coming comedian, Monarey Martinez (my 'witch friend' I often talk about) has done a lot of self healing to overcome her childhood trauma. And makes my dad look like a saint when she shares her stories of growing up with drug addict parents.  Taking the Greyhound from Buffalo to LA with only $200 to her name, Monarey has had quite the journey.  But my dads favourite thing to talk about is her spiritual side and her take on  the universe, extraterrestrial beings, star seeds, DNA downloads and what we need to know about where the earth is heading. Follow Monarey on Instagram @monareym Check out her podcast The Shamic on all places you can get podcasts.   

My dad was in New Orleans when Hurricane Ida hit. I don't know what was worse, the storm or the hit he took when he flipped over his electronic scooter the day before the hurricane. Bobby tells the tales of what it was like during and after the storm like his heroic moment saving the roof of the shed, making due without electricity and his unique inventions that came to him while in isolation.  Hint: It's not NOT a porn flashlight. OH! Not to mention his new carnivore diet that was inspired by his broken ribs. 

This is the hardest episode I've ever had to put out there. And I may still delete it. Within 10 minutes of recording my dad doesn't feel well and asks if we can record after he takes a nap. His aloof texts messages leave me hanging and send me on a downward spiral wondering if he is ever going to come back to record. In a moment of panic and frustration, I recorded my mental breakdown and share my fears and ALLL my emotions while I sat waiting in anticipation. This is the realest it gets. Does he come back and record? I'll let you find out.

My dad is in New Orleans and due to the hurricane and doesn't have any power which means, no podcasting. We weren't sure how long that was going to last so instead of waiting,I brought in a substitute dad, Anthony Dayo, to play the dad role on this episode. I ask Dayo his advice on whether I am putting too much pressure on my dad to podcast in times like this and how to know if I'm being a brat. Dayo discusses what it was like to have his daughter in LA for the longest she's ever stayed with him and his experiences of home schooling and co-parenting. Most importantly, how his dad came back after 20 years of stepping out to go do crack. Dm Whoa Dad Podcast on instagram to convince my dad to come back and record with me. PLEASE! 

Dicey talks about her UFO encounter. That's all that really matters. And Bobby becomes a cult leader as he tries to get her on board with all of his conspiracy videos. We discuss how Dicey's life shifted when she started seeing her healer Liz and the crazy turn of events once she started down her spiritual path.    If you are interested in contacting Liz dm @whoadadpodcast or message us on patreon. 

Dicey, one of the best up and coming comedians, joins us on this weeks episode. Thank god she is chill as f*** because Bobby decided to take another hit of "tobacco", before we recorded again. Dicey is a perfect playdate for Bobby(yes I still feel like the parent) because her journey and life experiences are something my dad preaches about on almost every episode. From dealing with racism in Texas to the magic that guided her to where she is today, Dicey grabs my dads full attention. Which is quite hard these days.  Follow us on patreon.com/nikkibon to catch our game show audition.  Where Bobby does pretty much the whole interview with his shirt unbuttoned and we discover that maybe we're just real stupid.     

My dad finally gets to interview me about my 'journey'. I've been putting this off because I HATE talking about myself. However, I thought it was only fair to let him guide this episode. Turns out, he does't really. His lacklustre questions and responses make me believe that he only wanted  to interview me so he can zone out and let me do all the talking. Is he even paying attention to anything I'm saying? Don't think so. BUT! I don't realize it until I'm done blabbing about moving to New York, experiencing Hurricane Sandy my first month there, brutal roommates, moving to LA only to have my school (Atlantic) cancel the program, brutal roommates again, and trying to navigate my way through this phoney baloney town.  

Now that weed is legal, my dad is becoming more open about his recreational usage. So much so that he hits the vape before we record. So this episode comes with a warning.  Since we didn't get to the father daughter trivia last week we give it another shot to try and see who knows more about the other person. It's a struggle to try and keep him on track so I had to bring out the big girl tactics and share an embarrassing story I KNEW would grab his attention.  A story I've had in my back pocket incase of emergencies like this. A topic he can't resist.  The tale of when I shit myself during quarantine. 

My dad takes full advantage of father's day and treats himself to a little relaxing toke before he records this ep. Don't say I didn't warn ya. I didn't get my dad anything for father's day but his friends daughter did and my jealous only child side comes out. My gets riled up talking about the latest trends in fashion and decor and goes off about all the things he hates. Which ends up being a lot of things. Don't even get him started on Blimey Bleekers (Peaky Blinders).

If there's one thing my dad believes in, it's aliens. And he has a whole theory about what he thinks is going to happen when they arrive. I put my dads "fatherly" ways to the test and get him to experience what it would be like to have to prepare 12 year old me for a UFO invasion. While my Bobby fights to get off the phone, I discover how fearless my dad is when he describes his stories from when he used to fly planes. Believe it or not, he may not be able to be a proper, but he CAN FLY PLANES?  I work hard to not let him off the hook and tell his terrifying tales of piloting.   

I've always wondered what it would be like to have a dad comfort me when someone hurt my feelings. Lucky for me I've encountered a bunch of mean and sh***y people recently and my dad gives me advice about what to do about it. Not what I had expected a dad to say, but hey, I'll give it a shot. Turns out me and my dad have the same theory about friends who betray or hurt us.  My dad and I talk out a little fight we had last week. He thinks I'm super sensitive but I think I just am sick of having to be a punching bag for someone else bad day.   

It's my birthday and this is the first time I kind of spend it with my dad.  I mean we still aren't together but I get him to have a virtual birthday party with me. I make my dad do all the things he missed out on when I was a kid like: creating loot bags, watching me open his present, dealing with thug kids and the hardest part, making the focus all about me instead of him. My dad realizes how good of a job my mom did at my birthdays and shares his fond memories of how she handled his DUI.  My dad regrets the present he got me when I discover it is the perfect tool to prevent him from putting gum in his mouth.  Not vulnerable enough for you? Want to support us on this journey? Sign up to Patreon to have access to our email correspondences that did a number on our relationship, videos, unedited eps and classic documented Bobby moments. Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/nikkibon  Follow us on Instagram @whoadadpodcast @nikkibon We want to hear from you! Let us know your advice and questions whoadadpodcast@gmail.com

Being a successful actor comes with its struggles, especially when you have a family. We get into the challenges Eric has faced trying to stay present in his kids life while spending months away filming and how the family dynamic shifts.  Bobby tries to analyze Eric's childhood and how that has influenced him as an actor. And of course, continues to probe Eric about the film industry and his time working on The Knick.       

You might know him from: The Knick, Fifty Shades Darker, Vikings or Smallville but I know him as a dad who can do it all. Eric seems to have mastered juggling a successful acting career and fatherhood. This a two parter, because that's how it goes down these days. In this episode Eric, once a small town boy from Edmonton, answers all of Bobby's inquires about his journey, what goes on behind the scenes of filming and how he overcomes his anxieties of working with some of the greats like Steven Soderbergh and Clive Owen.   

We continue our conversation with energy healer Gae Thornton. When I step away to take a phone call, Bobby confides in Gae about his hesitations about doing the podcasts. He gears up to ask Gae the question he's been debating for years...is the moon hallow? And secondly, is there a god?  Gae describes why we choose the parents we do before we set foot on this earth and how to create a more solid path.  Whether you are in the LA area or overseas, I highly recommend Gae and her classes, healings and events. Working with Gae in person is very powerful but remotely has been just as impactful. You can find Gae here. Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/gigiitsme/ https://www.instagram.com/thedopesouljourney/ thedopesouljourney.com thedopesouljourney@gmail.com    

Gae, SAVE US! Energy therapist, Gae Thornton, heals and coaches Bobby through the many questions that have been "spinning around in this little 8 pound ball" on his neck.  What was supposed to be a spiritual healing to help resolve our father-daughter issues, turns into Bobby’s personal Q&A about the mysteries of life. Gae answers my dads questions about: what is consciousness, 5th dimensions, aliens, energy healing, the effect our ancestors have on us, our guides and much more. Bobby was more excited about this interview with Gae than he was about getting his vaccine.  I have been going to Gae for over five years and thanks to her I’m not as screwed up as I should be. Gae’s spiritual healings have helped me resolve many of my insecurities caused by my abandonment issues and other factors. My dad has gone to her as well which is why I thought this is a great person to have on our podcast.  Whether you are in the LA area or overseas, I highly recommend Gae and her classes, healings and events. Working with Gae in person is very powerful but remotely has been just as impactful.  You can find Gae here.  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/gigiitsme/ https://www.instagram.com/thedopesouljourney/ thedopesouljourney.com thedopesouljourney@gmail.com 

Would you rather a dad who isn't around or a dad who is present your whole life but emotionally unavailable?We continue our conversation with comedian Sandy Danto who has lived out my biggest fear, finding out his dad has a secret family. Sandy's parents divorced ten years ago and his dad, who seemed to be disinterested most of his life, has become a better dad to his mistress' kids than he was to his own.   We discuss how Sandy overcame his struggles with his dad, set boundaries and has learnt how to not make the same mistakes his dad did. He also gets Bobby to open up about his passions like cartoon films, Jaco Pastorius and most importantly, Disney's Coco. Follow Sandy on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sandydanto/ Check out his parenting podcast M'fers: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/mfers-a-parenting-podcast-with-sandy-danto/id1399693949 Want to read the emails that we talk about but were too vulnerable to share on the podcast? Sign up to our patreon: https://www.patreon.com/nikkibon.   You can support, sign up and check out our clips, unedited eps, emails, videos and basically all the things that we are too embarrassed to share and triggers Nikki's abandonment issues.  Whether it be advice you need, advice for us or questions you think we should ask each other, we want to hear from you ! E-mail us what you would like to hear or activity ideas whoadadpodcast@gmail.com

This part one of a two part episode with the insanely funny comedian, Sandy Danto, saves the podcast. Sandy is the ultimate Bobby whisper. From topics like who my dad has played with to his regrets about choosing his career over his family,  Sandy gets my dad to open up about things I didn't think he would ever share.  In return, Bobby channels his Joe Rogan and asks Sandy all the comedy questions. Sandy, a touring comedian a paid regular at The Comedy Store and Hollywood Improv, is a new dad with his second one on the way. He shares what it takes to have a strong father-daughter relationship and what he has had to sacrifice in his career in order to not be a dad like Bobby. Does it come down to making the choice between career or fatherhood? Before he was a dad, Sandy has had a pretty epic career working as a writer, director and producer at National Lampoon, opener for Pauly Shore and a touring comedian. Although they made different choices, both dads can understand each others sides. Next week Sandy shares his daddy issues when his dad leaves his family for another women and is now playing "good dad" to her kids instead. Follow Sandy on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sandydanto/And check out his parenting podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/mfers-a-parenting-podcast-with-sandy-danto/id1399693949 

Bobby leads the charge on this one and this time I mean it. Consider yourself a fly on the wall during an average phone call between me and my dad when we aren't recording. He comes to the table with some facts that you can't get anywhere else like, how Nicorette can prevent Corona Virus, and make for a really good bouncy ball. He tries to cure my abandonment issues by getting me to read his horoscope description of capricorns. Thinking that it will help me to understand who he is and help our father-daughter relationship. Finally taking the back seat and letting my dad run wild with the conversation, this episode is a mishmash of topics: Behaviour of Capricorns , all the different things Nicorette is useful for, a recording of the first song we wrote together, a sad Covid story (cause that's what everyone wants to hear right now), aliens and of course, Bob Lazar. 

I want to go on a spiritual journey and do drugs to “find myself”. My dad gives me advice on what kind of drugs I should and shouldn’t do. The best way to get your kid to never do drugs is to scare the s*** out of them. And my dads drug stories from the road will do just that. Between his friends overdosing to him getting tricked into eating weed brownies, making his so high they had to call in a new drummer, these drug horror stories may teach your kid a thing or two. The up side of being a distant dad is that he never had to deal with a rebellious teen getting wasted in high school. I fill him in on my drunken and high times in ninth grade to see what he would have done. Turns out his approach is scarier than I thought.