Winging It | My Life After Baby

Ready or not, here I am. In part two of our Winging It: Midlife series, I dive into learning to be okay with putting myself and my new projects out into the world. 

When I started Winging It back in 2015, my son Blaze was just two years old. At that time, I wanted to document becoming a parent while working full-time, all while attempting to do all the things. Since launching the podcast almost five years ago, a lot has happened, and I’ve figured some things out.  Today, I’m excited to share a new 5-part series I’ve created within my podcast. This new series is called: Winging It | Midlife. Follow along with me as I explore life after leaving my full-time job and starting a business of my own. 

In the second part of our deep dive into dream-making, I sit down with Dan Pilver who is one of the founders and owners of Magic Number. If you’re not familiar with Dan’s company, Magic Number creates craft-brewed, cannabis-infused beverages—which are all handmade in Bend, Oregon. Dan is someone who started his company while at the same time working a full-time job. I'm continually inspired by individuals like Dan because people like Dan are examples of creators and business owners who ultimately find the way, the time, and the drive to turn their dream into their reality. 

I believe we all have dreams within us that wish to be birthed. Dreams that are tapping their feet annoyed, exclaiming, “I’m waiting. What’s the hold-up? Hey you, do you not see me over here?” Sometimes we use excuses like, “I don’t have enough time” or “I’m too busy” or “I don’t have the financial resources to make it happen” — excuses that only postpone our dreams from becoming our reality. Shannon, founder of Shannon Lee Strategy, and my guest on this podcast episode, knows firsthand how to turn a dream into a reality. After years of doing marketing for other businesses, Shannon started her own company. “YOU DO YOU,” Shannon says, and the rest is history. In this first part of our look at turning our dreams into our reality, Shannon kicks us off with how she made the leap from her nine to five, what ultimately inspired her, and how she keeps her mindset in check (It’s so good!).

In this episode, we re-visit what exactly Winging It means. Winging It is about preparing your heart-out and putting your full self out there. Then, it’s about surrendering it all. It’s about giving your all, and then, letting it all go. It’s about working your hardest, and then leaving the rest up to the universe, to God, to the cosmos, to nature—to whatever you may believe in. Winging It is about living your life full-out even when you don’t have all the answers, or know exactly what you are doing. It means having faith—that whatever happens after you work extremely hard—is what is suppose to happen to bring you to the next evolution of who you truly are.  

Beneath all the labels and stories we tell ourselves, about ourselves, is where I believe, we will find who we truly really are—and this is where we will find true happiness. To me, a straitjacket is a great metaphor that represents human beings living beneath (and absorbed in) their labels, stories, and the accompanying pressures, expectations, and beliefs that are associated with the labels and stories we attach ourselves to throughout our lives. Since discovering this metaphor, I find myself constantly challenging myself with how I define myself—what labels and stories I use when I show up with each day. 

Throughout my life, I've realized that my biggest teacher and companion in life has been death. It's when I ponder my own mortality, that I am most able to gain perspective, wisdom, and inspiration to live more open, more fully, and more alive. I reflect on death, and ask Johnny about death as well, in this latest Winging It episode.

A love letter to my younger self. 

On our road trip out to our new home, I started thinking about the idea that life is messy. And, the more I thought about it, the better I felt. Then, I met author Michael A. Singer, and it all started to make sense. 

My family and I are settling into our new digs (new city, new state, new job, new preschool). It's been a lot, but after three months in our new home, we finally feel like we are finding our footing. Bit by bit, drop by drop, we are making it work. 

We jumped—and it has turned out to be one of the bigger jumps of my life. I've always been one who is up for the ride, but for this ride I've really had to buckle-up. I have moved a lot in my life, and I’ve changed jobs before, but for some reason moving with my husband and son has completely put a different kind of spin on everything—a spin that has not stopped, where I still feel like I am hovering above our new life. I look down and see all the pieces and players moving around, but I am a bit disconnected from it all. Here's to new adventures!  

I love big cities and I love small towns. I see the benefits of both. What is best for my son? What is best for my family? What is best for me? I explore this and more in Episode 12—Small Town vs. Big City.

Recorded at a local diner, I realize it is not about the search, but about the living. 

The backdrop of my life has been muted by the recent world events. I had a planned a different theme for this episode, but after what happened last week in Orlando, my thoughts and heart have been focused only there. At times like these, I recall a speech I heard at the Academy Awards by a woman named Gerda Weissman Klein. It has stayed with me forever. 

For me, I know when life gets extremely busy—too busy where my priorities get out of whack—I am the only one to blame. I set my own priorities, and it is my responsibility to protect those priorities. In Episode 9, Turn Your Brain Off For Awhile, I own up to neglecting to pay attention to my priorities, and after I bomb a live interview at a conference I was invited to participate in, I become determined to get passed my issue of public speaking. 

Can you imagine learning at two years old, that you have the power within yourself to be happy? I want to teach my son this. In Episode 8, Show Up (Even Without Your Shoes) I revisit balance in my life and how I continue to struggle with what's most important to do each moment and also, when it is just as important to do nothing at all. We are all trying to figure it out, we are all doing the best we know how to do, we’re not perfect, no one is, but isn’t our best foot forward enough? Isn’t it enough to just show up? I say yes it is.

I've always been intrigued with the big questions in life. Why are we here? What happens when we die? Do we all have a purpose? In Episode 7, Life's Big Questions, I explore these questions with individuals who have already lived a full life. I also give an update on my health and fitness, and socializing my son. 

In this new episode, I try out a new gym daycare for my son for the first time, and ask my sister for her fitness advice. I also dig into why I was constantly hiding throughout my life, and how I am determined to step out for the sake of my son.

My son has been my greatest teacher. Being his mother has pushed me into myself – all my issues, my unrealized dreams, and upon his arrival, reminded me of all that I was before he came into my life, as if I was looking at myself outside myself. The more I grow in motherhood, the more I learn about life. I know these learnings would have made their way to me via a different route had I not decided to become a mother, but I am extremely grateful it was my son who dropped them on my doorstep. He said, "Mom, deal with this. Now." In this next bonus episode, We are all Winging It, I come to a big realization at the close of 2015. I also have exciting news about the future of Winging It. Thanks again for listening and Happy New Year to you all!

I’ve always been a bit of an awkward girl. It’s something I’m learning to embrace. With my son getting older, I intellectually understand the need to socialize him. In this new podcast episode, The Awkward Girls’ Guide to Playgroups, I explore what I can do to break out of my shell for the sake of my son.

My time is precious to me. Determining how to spend my moments of time is a stress trigger. I want to fit it all in and yet at the same time, I want the space to take it all in as well. It's tricky like that. In Episode 3, Winging It: Spiritual Cocktail, Johnny and I explore how we want to raise Blaze spiritually, and I investigate why I get so stressed out with time.    

Since having my son almost two years ago, finding the balance between him, my husband, my friends, my family, my work, my health, my finances, and my creative projects, has been a bit of a struggle. Once I feel like I have it all down, the next day, it all falls apart. I don’t know if my life will ever be balanced to be honest, I don’t even know if that is realistic for me, but as long as I am able to strive for a balanced life, and am conscious of when my life feels out of balance, that is completely good enough for me. In Episode 2, Winging It: Finding Balance, I take a deeper look into how to balance a full life – from date nights with my husband to my precious morning time before the world wakes up. I also include an update on how getting my health back on track in going.

It was author, Kurt Vonnegut who said: "We have to be continually jumping off cliffs and developing our wings on the way down." I’m a new mom and I constantly feel like I’m winging it. Winging it with motherhood, winging it with marriage, winging it with my career, and winging it with life in general. My life looks different than it did before I had a child (obviously). And it’s not that I didn’t think that was not going to happen, but I guess I didn’t think it would be so drastic and I would feel so out of place, so unfit for motherhood – in a nutshell, that I would feel like a failure in more than one area of my life. So, I’ve created an audio diary as an attempt to figure life out after having my baby. But actually, who am I kidding, this is about figuring out life period. This is Winging It.