You're Doing It All Wrong

CHOW Associate Editor Roxanne Webber demonstrates the wrongs and rights of Thanksgiving stuffing. The biggest wrong? Sticking with the gluey mess that comes out of a box. You’re not saving yourself much time or money with that stuff.

CHOW Associate Editor Roxanne Webber makes her pie crust for the CHOW Thanksgiving pumpkin pie the right way, by using cold butter, not overworking the dough, and defying the temptation to add a lot of water.

Pastry chef Boris Portnoy gives new life to a Thanksgiving cliche. Generic, canned pumpkin pie mix plus freezer-burned pie crust equals fake smiles on the faces of your friends and families. Real smiles come from choosing your own pumpkin—there are many heirloom varieties to pick from—and then customizing and experimenting as you go, using Portnoy’s recipe as a guide.

Chef, author, and consultant Joyce Goldstein is a culinary hero, and she has heroic ways with matzoh balls. She suggests babying the dough, using schmaltz for chicken-y flavor, and boiling the matzoh balls for a good, long time. Try out Goldstein's recipe for Matzoh Ball Soup.

Sunset magazine food editor Margo True has learned the rights and wrongs of mashed potatoes from a reliable source-- her mother. Here, she demonstrates the wrong way (undercooking waxy potatoes, skimping on the cream, or, horror of all horrors, employing a food processor to mash) and the right way (using russet or Yukon Gold potatoes, cooking them as long as possible, drying them over heat before adding lots of cream, and topping with herbs). This approach elevates mashed potatoes to their rightful status as much more than a side dish.

Once upon a time, all you needed for cocktail-making was liquor, ice, and a glass. Now, a cocktail isn't complete without freshly muddled fruit and herbs. Michael Cecconi, mixologist at New York's Back Forty who also works at the Savoy and teaches at the Institute of Culinary Education, has paid his muddling dues and wants to share his hard-earned knowledge. He does not think that drinks should have broken pieces of glass in them, for one. He recommends getting the right type of muddler and an unbreakable glass, then using your arm's weight to help your motion.

Loïc Le Calvez, senior winemaker of Taltarni Vineyards, has experienced all of the wrong ways that people open and pour sparkling wine: shaking the bottle, popping the cork, leaving the glass on the table while pouring too vigorously. Here's the right way to celebrate with bubbly.

Laura Werlin, author of Laura Werlin's Cheese Essentials and noted cheese expert, knows cheese rights from cheese wrongs. She's got pointers ranging from the serving to the cutting of cheese, with a little bit of rind etiquette along the way.

Leslie Jonath, writer-editor at Chronicle Books and annual latke-party-thrower, has learned all she knows from her mother and grandmother. She shares some Jonath family secrets (controversy alert: food processor! wringing water!). Her latke recipe is adapted from Marlene Sorosky's version in Fast & Festive Meals for the Jewish Holidays.

David Wong, director of tea culture and education at Tillerman Tea, has seen all of the wrong ways that people brew tea. He's here to show you the right way. There are three "hows" of steeping: how hot the water should be, how much tea to use, and how long to steep.

A hot cake plus cold frosting means cake death: soggy and ugly. Meg Ray, founder and owner of San Francisco's Miette patisserie and confiserie, explains what you're doing wrong when you're frosting a cake. Plus, more important, what you should be doing right: using good tools, keeping the components at the right temperature, giving it a crumb layer, and more.

Fatty, soggy, and burnt are words you never want to hear applied to your bacon. Scott Vermeire of Prather Ranch Meat Co. offers a quick and easy primer on bacon perfection. He also addresses the very important question of flipping: when to do it, and how often.

Andrew Carmellini, the former chef at A Voce, is also the author of a new book, Urban Italian, with his wife, Gwen. Here he demonstrates the proper way to sauce pasta; starch and fat are crucial.

Successful gnocchi-making requires some attention to detail. And successful gnocchi-maker Christian Hermsdorf, chef de cuisine at Bar Bambino, wants to share some of the details. First, the don'ts: Don't peel the potatoes, don't use too much flour, and don't overcook. And the all-important dos: Peel your potatoes when warm, use a ricer for maximum fluffiness, mix the dough only until it binds, be gentle with the gnocchi, and serve with a simple topping like brown butter and sage.

A keg is a cheap solution to satisfy a group of drinkers-- like at a Super Bowl party --and tapping it isn't difficult if you follow a few simple steps. Your first task is to find a great local liquor store (the folks at Mike's Liquors helped us out a lot) that will set you up with all the equipment, and even deliver. In this video, JD Beebe demonstrates proper tapping technique, reminding you that you have nothing to prove with your pumping.

Top Chef Season 5 contestant Jamie Lauren doesn't think people know how to treat their eggs properly. After setting down the ground rules for getting your hard-boiled eggs smooth and creamy, she updates the flavors of this ’70s house-party appetizer, making it a dish you'll be proud to serve.

Martin Cate, owner of the tiki bar Smuggler's Cove in San Francisco, believes that the mai tai has been disgraced in bars and tropical destinations for far too long, and that the cocktail needs to return to its roots: the original formula invented by the Godfather of the Tiki Bar, Trader Vic. A true mai tai contains premium aged rum, orange curaçao, rock candy syrup, fresh lime juice, an almond syrup called orgeat, and a sprig of mint. You won't find any grenadine or pineapple juice in this drink, lest you want Vic to turn over in his grave.

Lisa Jervis, cofounder of Bitch magazine and author of Cook Food: A Manualfesto for Easy, Healthy, Local Eating, has a particular bias against mushy, flavorless vegetables that are more steamed than roasted. To get that roasty, toasty flavor and texture, be sure to cut the veggies evenly, spread them out in the pan, and oil and season them generously. Plus, Jervis says, anything lower than 500 degrees Fahrenheit is baking, not roasting.

Food writer Molly Watson dispels any illusions people might have about making nachos. For the record, using cheese sauce and a microwave are fatal errors. Her method only takes a few minutes, and you get crunchy nachos with flavor in every bite rather than a soggy, inconsistent mess. Find inspiration for your next nachos feast with these recipes and ideas.

Hubert Keller, chef-owner of San Francisco and Las Vegas based Fleur de Lys and a television mainstay (Secrets of a Chef, Top Chef, Top Chef Masters), is obsessed with hamburgers, as any self-respecting Frenchman should be. He generously shares some of his secrets (more can be found in his book, Burger Bar: Build Your Own Ultimate Burgers).

Todd Eng, grillmaster and restaurateur-in-progress (he's opening an izakaya later this year), encourages you to rethink your use of lighter fluid and consider investing in a chimney starter. While you're at it, you might pick up some lump charcoal and a grate brush.

Jeremy Oldfield is an oatmeal painter of light. He takes the blank canvas (a canvas of whole-oat groats lovingly ground and soaked overnight) and breathes life into it; the kind of life that lives in tahini and miso paste, or coconut milk and caramelized bananas. He's bold. He's got vision. He's an inspiration to oatmeal-lovers worldwide.

Brian Leitner, co-owner of Nettie's Crab Shack, shares the right and wrong ways to eat Dungeness crab. Leitner sees hundreds of crabs eaten at this time of year (it's currently Dungeness Crab Week in San Francisco), and he's watched customers do many wrong things: leave the best bits behind in the body, avoid the crab butter (a delicacy for some), and crack the shell into the meat. He wants us to do the right things: use the mallet to gently crack the body, use the tip of the claw as a digging tool, and always get the hidden meat out.

Magnolia Pub & Brewery owner Dave McLean handcrafts beers using carefully sourced ingredients. He also pours a beautiful pint. Employ his simple tips, and you'll get the perfect head every time.

Clean, hot water; freshly ground beans; and a proper drip filter (we like the porcelain ones from Sweet Maria's, but many types are available): Good drip coffee is an attainable goal.

Your onion deserves better. And even, parallel slices are the way to clean onion geometry.