Podcasts about Oatmeal

Miracle On Route 34: Part 3 Being naughty can be a very good thing, if he needs help getting jolly. Based on a post by BiscuitHammer, in 3 parts. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. "Just when I thought it couldn't get better;" Ginny sighed, lost in bliss. "You certainly know what a woman wants." "I aim to please." Santa said cheerfully, putting one arm around her waist and holding her close while he guided the sleigh. "Think we might've sated you for a while?" "Hmm, maybe for a bit, right?" she purred, stretching like a cat before sitting forward and looking down over the earth, lit by clusters of lights that punctuated the darkness of Christmas Eve. It wasn't long before she began to giggle. "Schilling for your thoughts." Santa said, giving her tit a squeeze. "Well, you probably don't remember, but we've met before," she mentioned lightly, turning her head to wink at him. "I sure remember it." "Oh? Do tell." "Well," she said casually, her thoughts drifting back. "I was sixteen and my girlfriends and I were at the mall. We saw you and decided to sit on your lap. So Cari and I were sitting on you at the same time, squirming our asses on you and kept whispering naughty things in your ears, things we wanted to do to you, you know?" Santa didn't respond for several moments. "See?" Ginny said, smirking. "Told you that you didn't remember." "What; was the date of that, Virginia?" he asked warily. "December fifteenth, eight years ago, about seven-thirty pm," she said. "I still have a photo. Why?" "Because I wasn't in your city on December fifteenth eight years ago," he said with reluctance. "I was in Lahina on Maui, judging a naked limbo contest at a luau." She was silent for some time. "You're; you're sure?" Santa nodded. "Oh, God;" Ginny whispered, her eyes distant. "That means that Cari and I were grinding on some creepy mall Santa; oh, shit, I could feel him getting hard and everything!" Ginny scrunched her face up in revulsion and was flapping her arms in horror. "Oh, God. Blah! Blah! Blah!" Santa's roaring laughter echoed through the darkness as his date for the evening struggled to not puke off the side of the sleigh and onto the unsuspecting town below. Silent Runnings. She always kind of assumed that the sleigh made little or no noise when it touched down on a roof. After all, what kept some survivalist gun nut from trying to blow Santa away with his collection of automatic rifles when he heard some noise he couldn't account for? The sleigh glided silently onto the roof, the blades letting out little more than a hiss and the patter of the reindeer's hooves barely audible. Santa leapt out lightly and assisted her in exiting the sleigh before grinning at her. "Now, I won't be long, just hang tight and stay near the sleigh, if you're within the Gellar Field, you'll keep warm, alright?" Ginny raised an eyebrow in his direction, nonplussed. "Um, 'excuse me? I'm here with Santa Fucking Claus on Christmas Motherfucking Eve. How many times can a girl say that? If you think for one second I'm not delivering presents with you, then you're even more stupid that Krampus. I'm coming." Santa seemed hesitant. "Virginia, I've been at this since Proto-Hittite times, one way or another. I'm kind of an expert and I don't want you to hurt;" "Oh, get real," she snorted, pushing past him toward the chimney. She was glad to note that the 'Gellar Field', whatever the hell that was, seemed to be keeping her warm at this distance. "If your fat ass can fit down a chimney with that huge bag, so can mine." She clambered over the lip of the chimney and eased herself down inside it. Santa watched silently as she wriggled out of sight. There was no noise for several seconds. Finally Ginny spoke, her voice coming up the flue. "Okay, kinda stuck here, with my nose pressed into my own asshole. Little help?" Santa chuckled lightly and reached for a can of grease. Piloting a Ginny. "You're getting better at this, I must say," Santa remarked as he rummaged through his bag of presents while Ginny guided the sleigh. "Last person who drove the sleigh for me, the reindeer resisted a lot. They like you." "Oh?" Ginny replied, twisting the reins slightly and veering the sleigh team southwest. "Who was she?" Santa cleared his throat. "Actually, it was Krampus. Well, he was Pete back then, and it was over six hundred years ago." It took Ginny a moment to recover from her shock and concentrate on guiding the sleigh. Fortunately, the reindeer seemed to know where they were going. "Six hundred;" "Yup," Santa confirmed. "The Belgian monks were still getting the recipe for Stella Artois right the last time one of my kids helped me out." "But what about all your wives you were telling me about?" she asked. "They must've been in the sleigh before." Santa shrugged. "Yeah, people have been in it, I've taken them places, but you and Pete are the only two who have ever helped me on Christmas Eve." She felt herself grow warm, and for once it wasn't because she was wet and horny. "I'm really helping you?" He nodded. "It may be that I'm late because of the donnybrook back at your place, Virginia, but that wasn't your fault, it's just what was meant to be. I was meant to be put behind and now you're meant to be driving this sleigh while I get organized. No matter how many me's there are out there, it won't make a difference unless you're here tonight. It's fated to be that way." Ginny didn't know what to say. She just calmly guided the sleigh, feeling a contentment she'd never quite known before. She was dimly aware of some other shadowy iteration of Santa's sleigh streaking by some miles to the north and waved absently. She couldn't explain why any of this made sense, but it did. She really was different after all. A house below them shone with a golden light in the dark and she turned the reigns easily to guide the reindeer in its direction. There were over a dense residential area, the streets lined with endless numbers of small homes and semis. They glided onto a roof and clambered out. She followed Santa and his present sack down the chimney. In spite of his bulk, he slid down the tight shaft in a way that made her cunt inexplicably wet. "Now that I think of it," she whispered as she wriggled down with him. "How do we get into houses where there's no chimney?" "It was a lot easier before central heating," he answered, almost upside down as he worked his way toward the ground. "For lack of a better term, it's just B & E, I guess. I've got the keys and security codes for every residence on earth." "Wow," she grunted as she twisted and wiggled, her tits squashed to her mouth. If they'd had more time she would have sucked on them for a bit as a reward to herself. "Even Kim Jong-Un?" "Yeah, but he's not getting anything you want to know about for Christmas," Santa muttered. "He's a very bad boy." "So, what, like a leaky bag of flaming panda shit?" she mused, occupying herself as she strained to keep up. "Because that's what he kinda deserves." "Christmas is the one night of the year we don't discuss politics, Virginia." Santa mentioned as he finally freed himself of the confines of the flue and dusted himself off. He helped Ginny out as well, smiling and kissing her nose as she held her off the ground. She blushed and let him put her down, moving to a corner of the living room and watching intently. The house they were in was not big, a modest home for a small family. Santa was rummaging around in his bag, absently noshing on the cookies left on a table near the tree. The tree itself was rather sparse on gifts, something Santa seemed to be rectifying. Ginny didn't notice the other person in the room until it was too late. "So there you are, big man;" Ginny started at the voice but Santa merely stood and turned around, smiling warmly. At the entrance to the room was a woman in a robe. She was older than Ginny, but not more than in her late twenties or early thirties. She had the look of a tired mom. "Been waiting a long, long time to prove to myself that you were real and the presents I couldn't account for just came out thin air," she sighed, nodding. She had sandy-brown hair, done in a long bob. Her face was pretty enough, but you could see in her eyes that sleep was more of an afterthought than anything. "But here you are." "It's good to see you, Linda." Santa said warmly, moving toward her and hugging her. She sighed as he embraced her and Ginny smiled, knowing exactly how content and relieved Linda felt at the moment, whoever the hell she was. "Whoa, did I just get jealous of some girl hugging Santa?" "I can't believe you're here in all your chubby glory," Linda remarked, smiling up at him. "It's a dream come true." Santa nodded. "Little Karen's been very good this year, Linda. She's a real blessing. I brought her the puppy she wanted." Ginny frowned and looked down at a small object that was obviously a puppy, wrapped prettily in Christmas paper and sporting a golden bow on its snout. The puppy panted happily, curled up and went to sleep beneath the tree. "She'll love it," Linda said quietly, her eyes shining. "She'll be so thrilled." "I know she will." Santa said, smiling and placing a hand on Linda's cheek. "Sorry things didn't work out with Bob. He doesn't know what he's missing." "Thanks, I keep telling myself that too," Linda said, dabbing at her eye. "Have you got an STD for his stocking, maybe?" "No," Santa chuckled. "But you need to know that everything's going to be fine, Linda. You've made it this far, you're raising an amazing girl and you own this place now. If I could give you Mother of the Year, I would. But I can't, not my department, so that leaves me to ask; what do you want for Christmas, Linda?" Linda looked into his eyes before her hands reached down and began fumbling with his wide, black belt. Ginny shook her head and sighed, knowing exactly why Linda's reaction was so instinctual. The mother turned her head and seemed to notice the girl in the abbreviated elf costume for the first time. "Oh," she said, her hands still undoing the belt. "Is she your chaperone, to make sure we behave?" "No, she's not my chaperone," Santa said, smiling and shaking his head. "She's my indispensable helper, without whom Christmas wouldn't come this year." Ginny blushed at his description of her. "Oh, okay," Linda said, kneeling and shimmying his red pants down and freeing his monstrous cock. "As long as she doesn't interrupt me enjoying my present." Ginny blushed again, but this time the hair on the back of her neck went up and her eyes narrowed. She folded her arms across her chest, leaned against the wall and watched silently. Very silently. "Wow," Linda mused, taking his cock in both hands and staring at it. "Just when I thought nothing could get longer than that white beard of yours." Ginny blinked and frowned for a moment. White beard? It suddenly occurred to her that Linda was seeing the Santa she had always expected to see, a fat, jolly old man with a long white beard, rosy cheeks and the rest of the Dickensian nonsense. To Ginny, he still looked like the towering, red-bearded lumbersexual she knew him to actually be. Whatever sort of glamour he radiated, it worked even in sexual situations. Without a pause, Linda took Santa's thick cock into her mouth with a sigh and began bobbing back and forth along its length. Her wet lips formed a tight seal around the shaft, her hands holding on to Santa's thighs for balance. "She's doing that all wrong," Ginny sniffed to herself. "He likes it when one hand is pumping along the shaft behind your mouth and the other one is teasing his balls. I should know." Santa turned his head, smiled at her and nodded. Ginny blushed and shut up. He took Linda's head gently in his hands, caressing her hair while she sucked his cock, letting her take all the time she liked. She undid her robe with one hand, letting it fall to a puddle at her knees, now naked. She had a mom bod, Ginny noted, not bad, she was trying to keep herself fit, probably with Tae Bo and jogging or spinning, if she could find the time. Her tits were somewhat pointy, but she wasn't repulsive by any means. Ginny felt herself getting warm as she watched, one of her hands coming up to caress her tits while the other snaked down inside the short green skirt she was wearing and beneath her thong, teasing her understandably gooey cunt. She watched intently as Linda pushed farther and farther down Santa's seemingly endless shaft, breathing through her nose as she tried to reach the root. The hand she kept on his thigh for balance squeeze his pale flesh while the other was massaging her tits, pinching the nipples. She moaned around his cock as he grew harder in her mouth. Ginny leaned her head against the wall, trying to not make noise as she pleasured herself, fingers teasing through her slippery folds or circling her throbbing clit. The hand she had on her tits mimicked Linda's squeezing and pinching her nipples, causing little needles of stinging delight to shoot through her. Linda's hand moved down between her legs and her fingers began churning inside her cunt. She moaned loudly as she pleasured herself. Normally Ginny would have thought she'd wake her kid, but Santa probably had some weird sound-dampening field just to keep things like this from happening. Typical. Ginny bit her lip as she watched, her skin blushing pink as she worked herself into a silent frenzy, her wet core beginning to blossom as Linda sucked and bobbed on Santa's cock faster and faster; Both women let out a loud moan as they came, pleasure bubbling up through Ginny's body while her fingers worked madly inside her clenching, slippery tunnel. Her knees buckled and she went to the floor, still fucking herself. Linda grunted and began swallowing as Santa came, finally pulling her mouth off and panting heavily, jerking his throbbing cock frantically and splattering his pearly cum across her tits with great eagerness. Ginny slowly lifted her head, gazing at Santa and Linda through heavily-lidded eyes. She'd cum so hard just from fingering herself. Was it her proximity to Santa that caused all her sensations to be so heightened? Santa knelt as well, hugging Linda to himself and whispering in her ear. She slowly pulled her arms up and embraced him, smiling against his shoulder and nodding gently, her eyes still closed. After holding her for some time, her took her by the chin and lifted her gaze to meet his. "Okay, back to bed with you," he said gently. "You'll sleep very well tonight and Karen will come to wake you." Linda smiled dreamily and rubbed her nose against Santa's before giving it a kiss. She stood, slipped her robe back on, winked at him and left without another word. Santa watched her leave and nodded in satisfaction. "Just what she needed," he said to himself. "Okay, Virginia, I'm going to finish these last few presents and then we're; Virginia?" But Ginny was still kneeling, slumped to one side against the wall and snoring. Santa chuckled and finished the presents before picking her up and holding her limp body under one arm and his giant sack over the other shoulder before disappearing up the flue in the blink of an eye. Carnal Knowledge. "Taip! Taip! Mano Dievas!" Kuni moaned loudly as she sat on her sister's face, grinding her cunt eagerly down onto Minna's mouth. Her blonde twin clamped her arms around her sister's thighs tightly as she lapped hungrily at the slick lips above. Santa was kneeling between Minna's legs, holding them wide and thrusting back and forth, his cock plunging in and out of her. Ginny was leaning against the wall once again, trying to not look exasperated. The Lithuanian girls were writhing and grinding in a frenzy, clearly enjoying their early Christmas present. It wasn't like they'd crept down and surprised Ginny and Santa, as Linda had, they had actually written to Santa, saying that their parents were away for the holiday and they wanted him to come and fuck them for Christmas. They'd been waiting patiently in the living room when Santa and Ginny appeared out of the chimney, the twins wearing nothing but their little cheerleader uniforms. Minna groaned shamelessly while she lashed her Kuni's twat with her tongue, shuddering as Santa's iron-hard rod nearly split her in half. Ginny had to admit, the blonde twins had rocking bodies, trim and tight from whatever activities they were involved in. She'd have to get into P90-X or Crossfit if she was ever going to compete with these two. "Senelis!" Minna gasped, sliding a finger up inside her sister, which Kuni ground on shamelessly. She gyrated her hips, fucking back against Santa, her fingernails digging into her sister's ass cheeks as she endured the battering waves of pleasure. "Ah, Duok man sunku!" "Pasakykite pra¨ome;" Santa replied, smiling slyly. "Pra¨om!" Minna wailed, her body almost thrashing. "Pra¨om pra¨om pra¨om! Nekankink manęs!" Santa nodded and leaned forward, pressing Minna's legs almost back against her body, his weight over her now as he sank his cock down inside her. The blonde girl almost screamed in pleasure. Kuni grappled onto Santa's neck and kissed him greedily, churning her cunt down onto Minna's glistening face. "Unreal," Ginny muttered. "And I thought I was a relentless horny machine. But you, sir, take the cake." "I would expect you of all people to understand by now," Santa said cheerfully. "Minna and Kuni have been very good this year. They're both at the top of their class, they've been socially active regarding building homeless shelters, they're both” "Over the age of eighteen?" Ginny bit out. "It's Lithuania, that wouldn't matter," Santa pointed out. "They've been very good girls and I'm duty-bound to give them what they want for Christmas." "So no point deductions for incest?" Ginny asked somewhat testily. "There weren't for you and your brother, were there?" he replied while Kuni nipped at his skin. Ginny blushed again and stopped talking. She watched while Kuni pulled herself off her sister's mouth and hastily clambered around to lie on top of her, kissing her sister while squirming her wet cunt down on Minna's. She groaned loudly when Santa pulled out of the girl below and pushed deep inside her. "Dear diary," Ginny muttered. "Having a great time in Vilnius, watching Santa skewer Lithuanian sisters;" Santa grunted and pushed in hard, his hips trembling as he started to cum. Kuni and Minna screamed into one another's mouths, hips bucking furiously. He pulled out of Kuni and slammed back into Minna, filling her with cum as well before both sisters scrambled to their knees while he stood. They swallowed his cock greedily, taking turns pumping the shaft while the other sucked on it. They kissed around the throbbing cock, licking the pearly cum off one another's faces. "Esate labai geros mergaitės," Santa breathed, holding them both gently by the back of their heads while they sucked hungrily. "Keep up the good work and Santa will see you again next year;" "If we're not still here with these two whores next Christmas;" Ginny thought darkly. Santa’s copilot. Ginny was guiding the sleigh, but she kept looking back at Santa, trying not to smirk. He was sitting beside her, a rather blank stare on his face, his eyes a little red around the edges. "I'm still sorta hungry;" he said somewhat absently. "So you actually thought 'Colorado Gold' was a brand of flour used to make baked goods?" "Note to self," he murmured. "Do not eat the brownies left out for you in Denver;" Basement Bound. Ginny followed Santa as they crept down the stairs toward the basement apartment, a prismatic glow on the wall ahead of them indicating a tree was nearby. They rounded a corner and paused. A young man dressed in X-Men boxers and a white t-shirt almost walked into them as he rubbed his eyes. He stared at them for a moment, saying absolutely nothing. After a long, awkward pause, Santa reached back into his sack and pulled out a wrapped gift which he slowly handed to the kid. The kid took it equally slowly and unwrapped it, his eyes widening as several deluxe editions of the newest PC games were revealed. The kid smiled sheepishly and sighed. "Thanks, now that I know you're real." "You don't seem happy, Kevin," Santa said, obviously concerned. "You've been great all year and these are what you wanted, right?" "I; yeah, they are," sighed the kid. "At least, that's what I told everyone I wanted. My friends and I, we're all gamers, and this is amazing, but;" "But;" Santa pressed. "Well, Christmas is also my birthday," Kevin said. "Here I am, eighteen finally, and I still haven't had sex with a girl yet." Santa smiled. "Well, I normally deal exclusively in Christmas wishes rather than birthdays, but perhaps this year I can help you out there, Kevin." Kevin raised an eyebrow. "Virginia," Santa stated, looking at her. "I give you Kevin the Boy. Return unto me Kevin the Man." Ginny couldn't believe what she said next. "Thought you'd never ask, Big Red;" She walked forward and took the games out of Kevin's hands, tossing them over her shoulder. Santa grabbed them hastily out of the air as Ginny poked a finger into Kevin's chest and pressed him up against the wall. His eyes were wide, not at all sure what was happening. "Santa's already given you your Christmas presents," Ginny said as she knelt in front of him and tugged at his boxers. "Which means it's up to me to give you a happy birthday;" She pulled the boxers down and tossed them aside. His cock was limp but she could already tell it was swelling with excitement. Rather than teasing the poor virgin, Ginny stroked his shaft and slid her mouth all the way down, deep-throating him. Kevin shuddered and groaned loudly. "Make all the noise you want, you won't wake your parents upstairs," Ginny mentioned, pulling her mouth off his cock for a moment and pumping the shaft with her hand while she looked up at him. "The big man here has some sort of sound-dampening field or some shit so that he doesn't get caught busting into people's houses." Kevin's hands flattened against the wall and his fingers flexed as she slid her mouth down his length again before bobbing back and forth in a slow rhythm. She felt his fingers take her by the hair and begin kneading, lost in this clearly new delight. She hummed gently, vibrating her mouth around his sensitive skin. "Well, look at you," she remarked, smiling as she pulled back and gazed at his now hard and throbbing cock, glistening with the wetness of her mouth. "That's a nice dick you've got there, Kevin. You're a grower, I'm impressed." Kevin took a deep breath. "Maybe, but it doesn't look like much when it's limp. The one time I let a girl at school see it, I was nervous and it shrunk, so she was laughing at me." "Then I'll give you a tip before I fuck you, Kevin," Ginny said, stroking the shaft and spitting on it, to keep it moist while she instructed him. "Girls can be hideous cunts about that sort of thing sometimes, but they have their own insecurities. So never bring your insecurity to the ballgame. You need to be turned on and your Johnson here on the rise by the time you get naked for her." "Uh-huh?" he said somewhat uncertainly, shivering as she bent her thumb so that the pad pressed against the top of his mushroom head every time she stroked down. He couldn't believe this was happening. Some hot Elf-chick who looked like a Warcraft mod was blowing him! "So from now on, you dominate, you got it?" Ginny said. "Make her get naked or make her turn you on so that she can see how big your cock is before you ever get out of your boxers. No girl is gonna say no to this thing when it's fully inflated, I promise." "R-really?" Kevin asked. Ginny kept her eyes locked with his but reached down under her panties for several moment before bringing her fingers up for display. They glistened wetly in the dim light. "It's made me horny, champ. And because of that cock, I need to fuck you. You with me?" Kevin just thunked his head back against the wall, closed his eyes and nodded. "Oh, and don't worry about trying to last," Ginny added. "Being around the Red Machine makes you want to fuck and cum all night. You'll be fine." She swallowed his cock with a will, determined to give this kid the best first time anyone had ever had. Her hand followed her mouth along the shaft and she hummed, swirling her tongue along its length. The kid wasn't Santa, but this would be a perfectly good ride for any girl worth fucking once he had his confidence. Her free hand worked its way back inside her panties and began fingering, teasing her wet folds and slipping inside, getting her ready for the main event. "Umm, do you want to fuck me, Kevin?" she asked, smiling up at him. "Do you want to fuck my cunt good and hard?" "Uh; yes;" he whimpered. "Say it like you mean it, Thor," she insisted, pressing her thumb along the throbbing vein on the bottom of his thick shaft. "The girl wants confidence. This cock is worth your best effort." He took several deep breaths before looking down at her and nodding. "I want to fuck you." "You do?" she asked before sliding him back down her throat. "No," he said finally, taking her under the arms and pulling her up. Ginny exhaled suddenly as his cock popped out of her mouth unexpectedly and he spun her around to press up against the wall. "I don't want to fuck you; I will fuck you." "That's my boy," Ginny breathed, her eyes flashing with sudden lust and delight. She spread her legs and tilted her hips forward, eager to feel him inside her. "Fuck me good and hard, Kevin!" "K-zon," the boy almost growled, pressing his throbbing cockhead against her entrance. "My gaming tag is K-zon and that's what the girls will call me when I fuck them!" Ginny nodded eagerly. "Good. Give it to me, K-zon;" She moaned loudly as he pushed inside her, heedless of any sense of timing or technique, but eager to be deep in a woman. He squeezed her sides as he trembled, overcome by the wet, tight sensation of her cunt gripping him. Her arms wrapped around his shoulders and one leg slung over his hip as she looked into his eyes. Ginny began a pumping motion with her hips, sliding back and forth on his cock while K-zon was paralyzed by the flood of pleasure. "Alright, slugger," she whispered in a husky voice as she fucked herself on him. "Let's bust this first nut of yours quick, so you know what to expect. Don't hold back, just pound my cunt until you blow, got it?" He nodded as he buried his face in her shoulder and started pumping awkwardly with his hips, his whole body trembling. Ginny felt an unreal flush of heat coursing through her already, an intense orgasm building up inside. Holy shit, was she turned on and about to get off because she was mentoring a virgin? She pulled Kevin tight against herself and shivered, letting out a gasp while he moaned and jammed his hips up tight against hers, she could feel his cock twitching inside her as he spunked, Her own orgasm flooded over her, molten bubbles of ecstasy popping by the millions throughout her sweating, slick frame. He almost buckled at the knees, collapsing against her, panting like he'd run a marathon. Ginny smiled and caressed his hair, feeling his still-hard cock throbbing inside her. She ran her fingers over his cheek and looked into his eyes. "Ready to keep going?" she asked. "Second one's usually even better." He nodded and she pulled him down to his knees while she got on all fours, wiggling her invitingly. She winked back at him. "You know what to do, K-zon," she purred. "Show me what you're gonna do to the girls this coming year;" Without another thought, he took Ginny by the hips and slid his cock deep inside her again. Ginny moaned loudly, lowering her head to the floor and pushed back against him. She felt him begin to push back and forth and matched his rhythm by squeezing her cunt muscles around him as he slid in. His fingers dug into her hips and ass cheeks delightfully. She could tell he might last a little longer this time, but not by much. Then again, she wasn't here to teach him to be a sex god, she was here to pop his cherry and give him a birthday to remember. "Umm, right there, big man;" she panted, surprised that she meant what she was saying. She wasn't just stroking his fragile ego, she was quite serious, because he was hitting a spot in her cunt that she really liked. He had a long enough cock that it touched her pleasure spot and he was just wide enough to pleasantly stretch her so that she knew she was being fucked properly. With confidence, this kid would be a good lay. Kevin slapped his thighs against her ass cheeks and she squeaked and yelped in response. Her gooey cunt clenched him tightly, utilizing those vaginal contractions she seemed to be so damned expert at tonight. "Fuck;" Kevin grunted as he pumped his hips, his chest now glistening with sweat. "This is so much better than my hand or a fleshlight!" "Uh, and you feel a lot fucking better than a vibe," Ginny panted, still face-down and ass-up. "You're gonna make them scream, K-zon;" He seemed encouraged by her words and pumped harder, determined to make Ginny and himself cum again. He seemed to have found his rhythm and fucked her steadily, his eyes closed as he lost himself in the unreal sensation of sex with a live girl. Ginny bit at the knuckle of her middle finger, aware of how flushed and warm her body was. She could feel her wetness trickling down over her stomach from her cunt, since her ass was perched in the air. The slick, sucking noises of her sex were unmistakable. "Oh, you're doing really good, K-zon," she said breathily. "You're gonna have me cumming again before long!" Kevin seemed to be beyond words as he merely nodded hastily and kept fucking her, eyes closed and back arched. The slapping noise of his thighs against her ass was a wet one now, since they were both sweating profusely. She could feel the damp perspiration in her hairline, her mouth open and she wiped at it when she realized she was almost drooling. "Yes, K-zon!" she gasped, using the name he wanted again, pushing back against him but still letting him control the action. "Fucking make me cum! Don't hold back! Uh, fuck!" Kevin jammed his hips against her suddenly and cried out, a sound that Ginny echoed half a second later. Rapture splintered through her as she came, feeling him slamming against her as he climaxed, his pearly offering now deep inside her. Through glassy eyes, she looked around for Santa, to see if he was watching, but he was nowhere in sight. Kevin seemed ready to fall over, exhausted, but she gently pushed backward until he sat on his behind with her in his lap, facing away. Slowly she turned around and laid him on the floor, his cock still deep inside her. She put her hands on his shoulders and smiled down at him, her nipples tracing little patterns over his chest as she did so. "That was amazing, K-zon," she said quietly. "A really great addition to my night." He was still breathing heavily but nodded at her. "Thanks. It was more than I could have hoped for. I;I guess it's been a busy evening for you this way?" "Well, you're my only virgin to this point, if that's what you're asking," Ginny sighed. "The big red machine has fucked me more times tonight that I care to remember and I was nearly raped to death by Krampus, so this was exactly the sort of change of pace I needed, you know?" She sat up, still straddling him and impaled on his cock, a thought occurring to her. "Hey, Big Red," she called out. "I just let him bust in me twice, do you have any fixes dated from yesterday?" A tiny white pill flew out of the other room. She caught it deftly in her hand and popped it in her mouth. "I'm getting good at this 'time-is-fluid' shit," she giggled to herself. "Maybe I'll teach quantum physics." "You don't need a glass of water or anything?" Kevin asked, looking up at her. "Trust me, Kevin, if there's one thing I'm good at, it's swallowing." Ginny replied, smiling down at him somewhat haughtily before carefully pulling herself off his cock, causing them both to shudder and moan quietly. She knelt over his waist and sucked on his cock, cleaning their mingled cum off him and then helping him to his feet. She slipped her thong back on while Kevin retrieved his boxers. They were just straightening themselves out when Santa appeared from the other room. "Did you enjoy your birthday present, Kevin?" he asked cheerfully. "Yessir," the newly-minted young man said. "Best birthday present anyone ever received." "Glad to hear it," Santa said, nodding. "And I know it doesn't compare to what Virginia just gave you, but I think you'll be pleased with your new rig I just set up. Five terrabytes of hard drive space, thirty-two gigs of DDR4 RAM, an overclocked quad-core CPU that'll put the i7 to shame, eight fans, a nickle and copper piping coolant system and L E D to make sure everyone knows you're in the house. Oh, and I've upgraded your server to be multi-line, WAN and load-balancing. You and your guild will never lag again as long as you host." Kevin's eyes went wide. "I've got fat pipes?" Santa nodded while Ginny shook her head, understanding none of this geek talk. It only figured that Santa was a giant nerd. Kevin looked like he might faint. "Well, I've just done what you deserved," Santa mentioned. "It's Virginia who should get the credit for your night being so spectacular." "Yeah," Kevin said, blushing and smiling at her. "Thanks." "My pleasure, trust me," she said easily. "Somebody have a pen I can use?" Santa handed her one and she looked at Kevin. "Your number, dude." Kevin managed to stutter out his number, which she wrote down on her wrist before nodding in satisfaction and giving the pen back to Santa. "Alright, if I ever happen to be in Ohio for some godforsaken reason, I can look you up and give you a booty call. Sound good?" Kevin nodded dumbly. "Just remember this," she said, poking him in the chest, her voice serious. "You've got a lot to learn still. You've got a nice cock between your legs, don't treat it like a Louisville Slugger and just beat the hell out of her with it, you're better than that." He nodded. "And if a girl wants you to fuck her, she'll give you signals, so watch." Ginny added, poking his chest with her nail. "Don't assume you can just force yourself on anyone or next year it's dead spiders in your stocking, you got it?" Kevin nodded again. "Excellent," she said sweetly. "Now go to sleep, champ. Merry Christmas and happy birthday. C'mon, Santa, we have a holiday to save!" "Yes, my lady!" Santa laughed, following her out of the basement. They were back on the roof when Santa smirked at her as they climbed into the sleigh. "Dead spiders in the stocking?" She shrugged. "Isn't that what you'd give a guy if he forced himself on a girl?" "Well, no," he replied as he snapped the reins and they took off into the cold night air. "That's more of a legal issue. If he was considering it, I wouldn't have mentioned dead spiders, I'd' have been more inclined to point out that he'd spend the next few years in a cell as some fat, greasy tattooed bastard's buttery cornhole." The sleigh lurched to one side as Ginny burst out laughing. A Pretty Man. Santa stared awkwardly, making a wry face while Ginny stood off to the side, smirking. Standing in front of Santa was a very pretty young man in pale pink pajamas, his hands behind his back, one knee turned in, twisting his toe into the rug and blushing expectantly. Ginny wiped a tear away from her eye, she was trying so hard not to laugh. "Yeah, that ain't happening." Santa said finally. "But I've been so good;" the young man cooed, smiling coyly and winking. "C'mon, Santa," Ginny urged, clearly enjoying his discomfiture. "He's been so good, and you always reward your good children, don't you?" "Nice try, lady," Santa said, pressing behind his ear, apparently activating a communicator. "Get Agent 641 to me, I need a pinch hitter, stat." Santa threw a small disk on the floor while Ginny and the young boy in pink watched curiously. The device oscillated and expanded, becoming a larger disk. Seconds later it began to glow and hum. A column of rainbow light radiated up from it and a kneeling shape appeared. Seconds later, the rainbow light faded away and a lithe, comely figure stood. He had the same slender, beautiful features as the warrior-elves who had fought earlier that night, his eyes a piercing violet color, his impossibly long raven hair held in gold rings. His pale body was naked except for a tiny thong. "Holy shit snacks;" Ginny breathed as she gazed stupidly at the new arrival, feeling her thong get wet. "Ylmarin, young Trevor here has been an extra-good boy, perhaps you'd care to reward him?" Santa suggested as the inhumanly graceful being stepped off the platform. The tall being looked down at the young man named Trevor, assessing him and then nodded. "Yes, sire, I can absolutely do this." Trevor blushed furiously and giggled, covering his face. Ylmarin reached over and took the boy's hand before leading him back to the bedroom. Santa nodded and began rummaging around in his toy sack, putting items under the tree. "Okay, we got that out of the way," he said, squatting and putting items under the decidedly pink-lit tree. "Virginia, if you could hand me the, Virginia? Ginny?" He frowned and turned to look for his helper, finally sighting her. She was standing in the doorway to the bedroom and looking in. One of her hands squeezing her tits while the other had snaked down inside her panties. "Alright, go on, you little voyeur." Santa chuckled, shaking his head. "Yum yum!" she squeaked and skipped into the room, from which moans were now emanating. Seeking to be naughty. "You weren't worried about being on the Naughty List if you waited up for me?" Santa asked the dark-haired girl as she sat on her floor, watching him intently. She pushed her glasses up her nose and shook her head, pretty curly locks spilling over her shoulders as she did so. "Not worried, hmm?" he mused, observing her. "So you think you're already on the Naughty List?" The girl nodded. Ginny blinked and pursed her lips. "Why isn't she talking? Is she mute or doesn't she speak English?" Santa shook his head. "No, Ellie's just shy. She doesn't speak much at first, but once she gets going;" He knelt down in front of the girl and smiled. "Well, here I am. What is it you wanted to ask me, Ellie?" The tan girl turned her head and looked down at the floor sheepishly for several seconds before working up the nerve to speak. "I; I want my daddy, Santa." Ginny blinked. "She what, wants him back from deployment for Christmas, she wants her father to move back home;" "No, Virginia," Santa said cheerfully. "She doesn't want her father, she wants her daddy." "Oh," Ginny said, suddenly understanding. "So, now what?" "That's all she wanted for Christmas, so we give her, her daddy." Santa said simply. The girl's eyes lit up in delight and she sat up straight, looking very excited. Santa pointed behind Ellie and she turned to look behind herself; Her daddy stood in the doorway, his green-hazel eyes mirroring her excitement and a big grin on her face. His long, sandy-blond hair fell down to his shoulder blades. "Daddy!" Ginny squealed as she scrambled to her feet and threw herself against her daddy, kissing him feverishly. He held her tight, returning the kiss while she began pulling his clothes off him. "I missed you so much!" "Missed you too, baby;" he murmured through the kiss as he pulled her top off, exposing her lush tits. "I never had a daddy." Ginny sighed as she watched the couple get increasingly naked and feeling the now-familiar tingle building. "I should take care of that at some point." "I've got some other deliveries in the immediate area," Santa mentioned. "How about I go take care of them while you have a little fun with these two?" "Well, I'm not attracted to girls." Ginny said in a non-committal tone. "You just didn't know you were until tonight." Santa replied, smiling. "Just trust me on this, Virginia." "Well, like you said earlier, I've had you inside all my orifices, so what's the harm in trusting you now, right?" she admitted, shrugging. Would being bisexual be such a bad thing? It certainly widened her options for dating. Santa nodded and walked out of the room. Ginny turned to look at the couple she was left with, who were already splayed out on the rug, naked and pleasuring one another. Ellie was lying on top of her daddy, facing down his body and sucking on his cock hungrily while he was pulling her slippery cunt lips apart and sliding his tongue up and down her twat, making her shiver and moan. "Fuck it," Ginny said finally, stripping out of her skimpy outfit and walking up to the two of them. She laid down beside Ellie's daddy and smiled at her, both their heads over hips. "Feel like tag-teaming, babe?" Ellie looked up for a moment and nodded readily. Ginny smiled and leaned in, flicking her tongue against the tip of his cock. The curly-haired girl giggled and joined Ginny in teasing the throbbing cock, taking turns sliding their tongue up and down the shaft while the other swirled her tongue around the head and took it into her mouth, starting to bob up and down. Ginny felt herself getting really wet and pressed her lips to Ellie's around the head of her daddy's cock, kissing her. They both moaned as their tongues tangled around the glistening head. Ginny's hand slipped into the girl's hair, wrapping in it to hold her in place. Ellie smelled like strawberries and Ginny felt herself getting wetter as she took in the scent. "Daddy," whimpered the girl. "Fuck me;" Ginny knelt up while the other girl straddled her daddy's hips, facing down his body. Her sticky cunt was positioned over his throbbing cock and Ginny took hold of it and guided it home. Ellie sighed almost in relief as she sank down, his cock filling her. Smiling wickedly, Ginny made Ellie lie back along her daddy's body and the girl gasped as her put his hands on her tits and held her. As Ellie and her daddy began to squirm and writhe, her glistening cunt swallowing his cock greedily, Ginny bent down and tongued at the shaft as it slid back and forth through her lips. She pressed her thumb gently on Ellie's clit, causing her to shudder and moan loudly. Then her tongue traced a slow route around the engorged cunt lips, teasing her new girl lover. Ellie whimpered and panted, begging her daddy to fuck her harder. Ginny sucked Ellie's clit into her mouth and was rewarded with a strangled cry from above. She fondled the sac in front of her gently and pressed on the throbbing vein. Her cunt was getting wetter with each passing moment and she needed to know if Ellie would share; Without another word, she crawled over Ellie and settled down on top of her, her tits squashing into the succulent set below. She moved around until she felt her cunt pressed to Ellie's and the magical, rhythmic motion of the cock still pumping in and out of her. She shuddered as their lips and clits met and they wrapped their arms around one another, kissing shamelessly. Tongues snaked and writhed as they moaned into one another's mouths. "Daddy," panted the younger girl. "Fuck Santa's elf-girl; fuck her please;" Ginny felt her own ferocious desire rising as the cock slurped out of Ellie and pressed against her. She groaned gutturally as she felt the head penetrate and then she pressed down eagerly, taking it deep inside her. Still sandwiched between them, Ellie took one of Ginny's tits and sucked the nipple into her mouth, swirling her tongue around it. Ginny arched her back and hissed through clenched teeth, squeezing hard on the invading cock. She ground down on Ellie's daddy, gyrating her hips and her fingers digging into the other girl's skin. Ellie sucked and bit her nipples, the delicious sting heightening her ecstasy. She body was streaming with sweat while he fucked her, Ellie's soft flesh undulating against hers. She could hear him panting and feel him stiffening and knew what happened next. With great haste and even greater reluctance, she pulled herself off the cock and knelt, pulling Ellie up into a kneeling position. She helped her daddy stand quickly while Ellie took his cock and pumped it eagerly with her hand. Once he was standing, they both attacked his cock with their mouths and hands, pleasuring him beyond endurance. He put his hand on the back of their heads and groaned loudly, his hips shuddering as he came. Both girls pressed their faces in, letting him spurt on their mouths and cheeks, hands still working the shaft quickly. The warm, sticky cum brought with it a warm flush of memories, how it always felt on her skin, the tingling, scintillating pleasure she always felt in the ardor of others. Ellie's soft tits pressed to hers, their cheeks meeting as they accepted the pearly offering, on their chins and now glazing their tits; she loved it all. She was never happier than when she was in the throes of passion with others. Was this what she was truly meant to do? Was this a Christmas epiphany? Ellie and Ginny began kissing hungrily, licking the cum off one another's faces with a fervor, then off each other's neck and tits. They returned their attention to the still twitching cock, kissing and sucking it dry. Once Ellie's daddy was spent, she laid him down and Ginny helped her snuggle into his warm, loving embrace. The girl smiled at her and giggled before blowing a kiss. Ginny gathered up her outfit and exited the apartment quietly. Not surprisingly at this point, the sleigh was just pulling back onto the roof as she arrived. Santa smiled at her. "So did you know I was bi all these years?" she asked as she clambered into the seat and beside him and snuggled into his side as they took off. He nodded. "Not my place to rob you of your journey of self-discovery, though." "Maybe," she sighed. "But think about all the fun I've missed out on, not playing with girls too. Doubling the size of my dating pool might have made a difference." "You've always been who you're meant to be, Virginia," he said cheerfully. "And your little epiphany tonight is going to have big implications in the year to come. Trust me." Her eyes widened. "For real?" "Would I lie?" Santa laughed. Ginny in the sleigh. Ginny was lying back in the plush red seat of the sleigh, her chest heaving as she stared at the pre-dawn sky. Her little elf-outfit was almost in shreds and she was missing one of her shoes. Even Santa looked a little worn. "So that's what sex with an entire sorority house feels like;" she said distantly. "Kinda gives me a new respect for those college quarterbacks. Those girls are animals." Santa nodded. "I have to admit, that wore me out a little too, which is saying something. And before you ask, yes, they have all been good this past year and they sent me one letter asking for Santa to fuck them as a sorority, so that really was their Christmas present." Ginny nodded. "That and the four metric tons of vibrators, dildos, eggs, anal beads, ben-wa balls and lingerie I saw you drop off; and about thirty Sybians." "They're a really good sorority house." Santa admitted. Ginny just stared at the sky. "Hard to believe that you're brought up a certain way, being told that good kids act a certain way, only to find out that being a total mega-slut is not grounds for being added to the Naughty List but sneaking cookies when mom told you not to is." "I didn't make the rules," Santa said, shrugging, but then he paused. "Oh, wait; ya know, I probably did, a long, long time ago." Ginny giggled tiredly. "This has been the longest and most oversexed night of my life, and that's saying something for me. Where are we headed, Big Man?" "Well, it's almost dawn." Santa said, looking east. "I'm going to have to drop you off before long now that my rounds are done." "Yeah," Ginny said somewhat reluctantly. "Since I don't have a house, I guess you should drop me off at my parents' place. I can't exactly tell 'em that my house was destroyed in a massive battle between Santa's elves and Krampus, but maybe they'll believe a gas main exploded." "You can't lie, Virginia, we've been over this." Santa said firmly. "Well I can't really tell them the truth either, can I?" Ginny pointed out, hoping she didn't sound too quarrelsome. "I know;" he said quietly, still guiding the sleigh. The soared through the dark sky for some time, saying nothing. Eventually, Ginny began to make out shapes in the night, sleek silhouettes that looked almost like slender, jet-powered Skidoos, being ridden by beings in strange armor with glowing runes and wild mans of hair. "Just my guardians," Santa said in an assuring tone. "Making sure there are no last-minute attempts to thwart us." The earth far below them took on a white cast and Ginny knew that they were above a region covered in snow. She couldn't feel it, but she could sense the cold air around them as the sleigh angled down, heading to the ground. The landing was predictably smooth and they finally came to a stop, flanked by the jet bikes and their unsettling warriors. Santa jumped out and helped Ginny down, smiling at her and wrapping her in a warm, furry red blanket from head to toe. When he pulled it off her, she was no dressed in a stylish red velvet dress, trimmed in white and ending on her upper thighs to show lots of leg. Her calf-high boots were red and edged with white, with adorable little poms dangling from the side. She even had a white poof to keep her hands warm and the Santa hat she now wore kept her ears toasty. "You look beautiful," he said as he waved in front of himself to conjure an ice mirror that reflected her image perfectly. "And without you, Virginia, there wouldn't have been a Christmas this year. You need to understand that." Ginny blushed prettily and walked alongside him, petting the reindeers as she walked by. She even gave Donner a kiss on the nose and the beast snorted and blushed, pawing the ground. They walked casually through the snow, holding hands until they were approached by several people. Ginny's eyes went wide, these were all women, clad in black armor with baroque chest plates reminiscent of bustiers. They all wore their hair bobbed, universally black or platinum in color and they carried savage-looking rifles or flamethrowers. They all knelt reverently as Santa approached. "Do I want to know?" Ginny breathed. "My personal guard," Santa said, nodding to the women as he passed through them. "Orphan girls I've saved from a cruel world. They're fanatically devoted to me, even beyond my elves." Her mouth was somewhat dry when she asked the next question. "Do you; you know;" "Yes, Virginia," he said, saving her the difficulty of asking. "They're also my lovers. When they're not fighting for me or standing guard, they live in the bliss I seem uniquely capable of giving women." "That doesn't sound like such a bad life," Ginny said, a hopeful tone in her voice. "I mean, I'm no orphan, but I'd say we pretty compatible sexually. Aren't we?" He turned and took her gently by the arms, smiling warmly down into her eyes in that way that made her knees go weak. Other people may have seen the fat old jolly man, but she could see only the copper-haired and bearded giant with eyes deeper than a galaxy and a boyish smile that she knew she'd always love. "You're right, Virginia, you're not an orphan," he said quietly. "These girls had no future. I have no right to rob you of yours. And believe me, you don't want to miss it." He took her hand and kept walking, snow gently falling as they walked through the stands of tall trees. When they emerged on the far side, he grinned and gestured grandly in front of them. Ginny's eyes went wide. Across the clearing was her lovely home, looking as good as new. Squads of warrior-elves stood guard menacingly around the perimeter while other, smaller beings she more associated with the Christmas story elves scampered around, making final adjustments to the domicile. "Like the whole thing never happened," Santa declared. "And there are even some improvements, I might add." "Ya don't say," Ginny said somewhat absently, still staring in disbelief. All sign of the titan battle fought on her property less than twelve hours ago were gone. "Uh; improvements?" Santa nodded. "We added solar panels and some subtle wind turbines, so you can officially live off the grid. Water's hooked up to a local artesian well. Improved your internet connection, you get about two hundred megabits per second, not to mention the fact that we connected you to our servers, so the Tor Network and the Deep Web have nothing on you for security and anonymity." "Wow;" was all she seemed to be able to say. "Let's see, we reinforced the frame and the roof, you could probably get hit by a meteor and barely notice," Santa continued. "Windows are made of transparent aluminum, they're durable, to say the least." "No bugs crashing through my bay windows?" she asked. "Actually got a nifty physics trick for you

Miracle On Route 34: Part 3 Being naughty can be a very good thing, if he needs help getting jolly. Based on a post by BiscuitHammer, in 3 parts. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. "Just when I thought it couldn't get better;" Ginny sighed, lost in bliss. "You certainly know what a woman wants." "I aim to please." Santa said cheerfully, putting one arm around her waist and holding her close while he guided the sleigh. "Think we might've sated you for a while?" "Hmm, maybe for a bit, right?" she purred, stretching like a cat before sitting forward and looking down over the earth, lit by clusters of lights that punctuated the darkness of Christmas Eve. It wasn't long before she began to giggle. "Schilling for your thoughts." Santa said, giving her tit a squeeze. "Well, you probably don't remember, but we've met before," she mentioned lightly, turning her head to wink at him. "I sure remember it." "Oh? Do tell." "Well," she said casually, her thoughts drifting back. "I was sixteen and my girlfriends and I were at the mall. We saw you and decided to sit on your lap. So Cari and I were sitting on you at the same time, squirming our asses on you and kept whispering naughty things in your ears, things we wanted to do to you, you know?" Santa didn't respond for several moments. "See?" Ginny said, smirking. "Told you that you didn't remember." "What; was the date of that, Virginia?" he asked warily. "December fifteenth, eight years ago, about seven-thirty pm," she said. "I still have a photo. Why?" "Because I wasn't in your city on December fifteenth eight years ago," he said with reluctance. "I was in Lahina on Maui, judging a naked limbo contest at a luau." She was silent for some time. "You're; you're sure?" Santa nodded. "Oh, God;" Ginny whispered, her eyes distant. "That means that Cari and I were grinding on some creepy mall Santa; oh, shit, I could feel him getting hard and everything!" Ginny scrunched her face up in revulsion and was flapping her arms in horror. "Oh, God. Blah! Blah! Blah!" Santa's roaring laughter echoed through the darkness as his date for the evening struggled to not puke off the side of the sleigh and onto the unsuspecting town below. Silent Runnings. She always kind of assumed that the sleigh made little or no noise when it touched down on a roof. After all, what kept some survivalist gun nut from trying to blow Santa away with his collection of automatic rifles when he heard some noise he couldn't account for? The sleigh glided silently onto the roof, the blades letting out little more than a hiss and the patter of the reindeer's hooves barely audible. Santa leapt out lightly and assisted her in exiting the sleigh before grinning at her. "Now, I won't be long, just hang tight and stay near the sleigh, if you're within the Gellar Field, you'll keep warm, alright?" Ginny raised an eyebrow in his direction, nonplussed. "Um, 'excuse me? I'm here with Santa Fucking Claus on Christmas Motherfucking Eve. How many times can a girl say that? If you think for one second I'm not delivering presents with you, then you're even more stupid that Krampus. I'm coming." Santa seemed hesitant. "Virginia, I've been at this since Proto-Hittite times, one way or another. I'm kind of an expert and I don't want you to hurt;" "Oh, get real," she snorted, pushing past him toward the chimney. She was glad to note that the 'Gellar Field', whatever the hell that was, seemed to be keeping her warm at this distance. "If your fat ass can fit down a chimney with that huge bag, so can mine." She clambered over the lip of the chimney and eased herself down inside it. Santa watched silently as she wriggled out of sight. There was no noise for several seconds. Finally Ginny spoke, her voice coming up the flue. "Okay, kinda stuck here, with my nose pressed into my own asshole. Little help?" Santa chuckled lightly and reached for a can of grease. Piloting a Ginny. "You're getting better at this, I must say," Santa remarked as he rummaged through his bag of presents while Ginny guided the sleigh. "Last person who drove the sleigh for me, the reindeer resisted a lot. They like you." "Oh?" Ginny replied, twisting the reins slightly and veering the sleigh team southwest. "Who was she?" Santa cleared his throat. "Actually, it was Krampus. Well, he was Pete back then, and it was over six hundred years ago." It took Ginny a moment to recover from her shock and concentrate on guiding the sleigh. Fortunately, the reindeer seemed to know where they were going. "Six hundred;" "Yup," Santa confirmed. "The Belgian monks were still getting the recipe for Stella Artois right the last time one of my kids helped me out." "But what about all your wives you were telling me about?" she asked. "They must've been in the sleigh before." Santa shrugged. "Yeah, people have been in it, I've taken them places, but you and Pete are the only two who have ever helped me on Christmas Eve." She felt herself grow warm, and for once it wasn't because she was wet and horny. "I'm really helping you?" He nodded. "It may be that I'm late because of the donnybrook back at your place, Virginia, but that wasn't your fault, it's just what was meant to be. I was meant to be put behind and now you're meant to be driving this sleigh while I get organized. No matter how many me's there are out there, it won't make a difference unless you're here tonight. It's fated to be that way." Ginny didn't know what to say. She just calmly guided the sleigh, feeling a contentment she'd never quite known before. She was dimly aware of some other shadowy iteration of Santa's sleigh streaking by some miles to the north and waved absently. She couldn't explain why any of this made sense, but it did. She really was different after all. A house below them shone with a golden light in the dark and she turned the reigns easily to guide the reindeer in its direction. There were over a dense residential area, the streets lined with endless numbers of small homes and semis. They glided onto a roof and clambered out. She followed Santa and his present sack down the chimney. In spite of his bulk, he slid down the tight shaft in a way that made her cunt inexplicably wet. "Now that I think of it," she whispered as she wriggled down with him. "How do we get into houses where there's no chimney?" "It was a lot easier before central heating," he answered, almost upside down as he worked his way toward the ground. "For lack of a better term, it's just B & E, I guess. I've got the keys and security codes for every residence on earth." "Wow," she grunted as she twisted and wiggled, her tits squashed to her mouth. If they'd had more time she would have sucked on them for a bit as a reward to herself. "Even Kim Jong-Un?" "Yeah, but he's not getting anything you want to know about for Christmas," Santa muttered. "He's a very bad boy." "So, what, like a leaky bag of flaming panda shit?" she mused, occupying herself as she strained to keep up. "Because that's what he kinda deserves." "Christmas is the one night of the year we don't discuss politics, Virginia." Santa mentioned as he finally freed himself of the confines of the flue and dusted himself off. He helped Ginny out as well, smiling and kissing her nose as she held her off the ground. She blushed and let him put her down, moving to a corner of the living room and watching intently. The house they were in was not big, a modest home for a small family. Santa was rummaging around in his bag, absently noshing on the cookies left on a table near the tree. The tree itself was rather sparse on gifts, something Santa seemed to be rectifying. Ginny didn't notice the other person in the room until it was too late. "So there you are, big man;" Ginny started at the voice but Santa merely stood and turned around, smiling warmly. At the entrance to the room was a woman in a robe. She was older than Ginny, but not more than in her late twenties or early thirties. She had the look of a tired mom. "Been waiting a long, long time to prove to myself that you were real and the presents I couldn't account for just came out thin air," she sighed, nodding. She had sandy-brown hair, done in a long bob. Her face was pretty enough, but you could see in her eyes that sleep was more of an afterthought than anything. "But here you are." "It's good to see you, Linda." Santa said warmly, moving toward her and hugging her. She sighed as he embraced her and Ginny smiled, knowing exactly how content and relieved Linda felt at the moment, whoever the hell she was. "Whoa, did I just get jealous of some girl hugging Santa?" "I can't believe you're here in all your chubby glory," Linda remarked, smiling up at him. "It's a dream come true." Santa nodded. "Little Karen's been very good this year, Linda. She's a real blessing. I brought her the puppy she wanted." Ginny frowned and looked down at a small object that was obviously a puppy, wrapped prettily in Christmas paper and sporting a golden bow on its snout. The puppy panted happily, curled up and went to sleep beneath the tree. "She'll love it," Linda said quietly, her eyes shining. "She'll be so thrilled." "I know she will." Santa said, smiling and placing a hand on Linda's cheek. "Sorry things didn't work out with Bob. He doesn't know what he's missing." "Thanks, I keep telling myself that too," Linda said, dabbing at her eye. "Have you got an STD for his stocking, maybe?" "No," Santa chuckled. "But you need to know that everything's going to be fine, Linda. You've made it this far, you're raising an amazing girl and you own this place now. If I could give you Mother of the Year, I would. But I can't, not my department, so that leaves me to ask; what do you want for Christmas, Linda?" Linda looked into his eyes before her hands reached down and began fumbling with his wide, black belt. Ginny shook her head and sighed, knowing exactly why Linda's reaction was so instinctual. The mother turned her head and seemed to notice the girl in the abbreviated elf costume for the first time. "Oh," she said, her hands still undoing the belt. "Is she your chaperone, to make sure we behave?" "No, she's not my chaperone," Santa said, smiling and shaking his head. "She's my indispensable helper, without whom Christmas wouldn't come this year." Ginny blushed at his description of her. "Oh, okay," Linda said, kneeling and shimmying his red pants down and freeing his monstrous cock. "As long as she doesn't interrupt me enjoying my present." Ginny blushed again, but this time the hair on the back of her neck went up and her eyes narrowed. She folded her arms across her chest, leaned against the wall and watched silently. Very silently. "Wow," Linda mused, taking his cock in both hands and staring at it. "Just when I thought nothing could get longer than that white beard of yours." Ginny blinked and frowned for a moment. White beard? It suddenly occurred to her that Linda was seeing the Santa she had always expected to see, a fat, jolly old man with a long white beard, rosy cheeks and the rest of the Dickensian nonsense. To Ginny, he still looked like the towering, red-bearded lumbersexual she knew him to actually be. Whatever sort of glamour he radiated, it worked even in sexual situations. Without a pause, Linda took Santa's thick cock into her mouth with a sigh and began bobbing back and forth along its length. Her wet lips formed a tight seal around the shaft, her hands holding on to Santa's thighs for balance. "She's doing that all wrong," Ginny sniffed to herself. "He likes it when one hand is pumping along the shaft behind your mouth and the other one is teasing his balls. I should know." Santa turned his head, smiled at her and nodded. Ginny blushed and shut up. He took Linda's head gently in his hands, caressing her hair while she sucked his cock, letting her take all the time she liked. She undid her robe with one hand, letting it fall to a puddle at her knees, now naked. She had a mom bod, Ginny noted, not bad, she was trying to keep herself fit, probably with Tae Bo and jogging or spinning, if she could find the time. Her tits were somewhat pointy, but she wasn't repulsive by any means. Ginny felt herself getting warm as she watched, one of her hands coming up to caress her tits while the other snaked down inside the short green skirt she was wearing and beneath her thong, teasing her understandably gooey cunt. She watched intently as Linda pushed farther and farther down Santa's seemingly endless shaft, breathing through her nose as she tried to reach the root. The hand she kept on his thigh for balance squeeze his pale flesh while the other was massaging her tits, pinching the nipples. She moaned around his cock as he grew harder in her mouth. Ginny leaned her head against the wall, trying to not make noise as she pleasured herself, fingers teasing through her slippery folds or circling her throbbing clit. The hand she had on her tits mimicked Linda's squeezing and pinching her nipples, causing little needles of stinging delight to shoot through her. Linda's hand moved down between her legs and her fingers began churning inside her cunt. She moaned loudly as she pleasured herself. Normally Ginny would have thought she'd wake her kid, but Santa probably had some weird sound-dampening field just to keep things like this from happening. Typical. Ginny bit her lip as she watched, her skin blushing pink as she worked herself into a silent frenzy, her wet core beginning to blossom as Linda sucked and bobbed on Santa's cock faster and faster; Both women let out a loud moan as they came, pleasure bubbling up through Ginny's body while her fingers worked madly inside her clenching, slippery tunnel. Her knees buckled and she went to the floor, still fucking herself. Linda grunted and began swallowing as Santa came, finally pulling her mouth off and panting heavily, jerking his throbbing cock frantically and splattering his pearly cum across her tits with great eagerness. Ginny slowly lifted her head, gazing at Santa and Linda through heavily-lidded eyes. She'd cum so hard just from fingering herself. Was it her proximity to Santa that caused all her sensations to be so heightened? Santa knelt as well, hugging Linda to himself and whispering in her ear. She slowly pulled her arms up and embraced him, smiling against his shoulder and nodding gently, her eyes still closed. After holding her for some time, her took her by the chin and lifted her gaze to meet his. "Okay, back to bed with you," he said gently. "You'll sleep very well tonight and Karen will come to wake you." Linda smiled dreamily and rubbed her nose against Santa's before giving it a kiss. She stood, slipped her robe back on, winked at him and left without another word. Santa watched her leave and nodded in satisfaction. "Just what she needed," he said to himself. "Okay, Virginia, I'm going to finish these last few presents and then we're; Virginia?" But Ginny was still kneeling, slumped to one side against the wall and snoring. Santa chuckled and finished the presents before picking her up and holding her limp body under one arm and his giant sack over the other shoulder before disappearing up the flue in the blink of an eye. Carnal Knowledge. "Taip! Taip! Mano Dievas!" Kuni moaned loudly as she sat on her sister's face, grinding her cunt eagerly down onto Minna's mouth. Her blonde twin clamped her arms around her sister's thighs tightly as she lapped hungrily at the slick lips above. Santa was kneeling between Minna's legs, holding them wide and thrusting back and forth, his cock plunging in and out of her. Ginny was leaning against the wall once again, trying to not look exasperated. The Lithuanian girls were writhing and grinding in a frenzy, clearly enjoying their early Christmas present. It wasn't like they'd crept down and surprised Ginny and Santa, as Linda had, they had actually written to Santa, saying that their parents were away for the holiday and they wanted him to come and fuck them for Christmas. They'd been waiting patiently in the living room when Santa and Ginny appeared out of the chimney, the twins wearing nothing but their little cheerleader uniforms. Minna groaned shamelessly while she lashed her Kuni's twat with her tongue, shuddering as Santa's iron-hard rod nearly split her in half. Ginny had to admit, the blonde twins had rocking bodies, trim and tight from whatever activities they were involved in. She'd have to get into P90-X or Crossfit if she was ever going to compete with these two. "Senelis!" Minna gasped, sliding a finger up inside her sister, which Kuni ground on shamelessly. She gyrated her hips, fucking back against Santa, her fingernails digging into her sister's ass cheeks as she endured the battering waves of pleasure. "Ah, Duok man sunku!" "Pasakykite pra¨ome;" Santa replied, smiling slyly. "Pra¨om!" Minna wailed, her body almost thrashing. "Pra¨om pra¨om pra¨om! Nekankink manęs!" Santa nodded and leaned forward, pressing Minna's legs almost back against her body, his weight over her now as he sank his cock down inside her. The blonde girl almost screamed in pleasure. Kuni grappled onto Santa's neck and kissed him greedily, churning her cunt down onto Minna's glistening face. "Unreal," Ginny muttered. "And I thought I was a relentless horny machine. But you, sir, take the cake." "I would expect you of all people to understand by now," Santa said cheerfully. "Minna and Kuni have been very good this year. They're both at the top of their class, they've been socially active regarding building homeless shelters, they're both” "Over the age of eighteen?" Ginny bit out. "It's Lithuania, that wouldn't matter," Santa pointed out. "They've been very good girls and I'm duty-bound to give them what they want for Christmas." "So no point deductions for incest?" Ginny asked somewhat testily. "There weren't for you and your brother, were there?" he replied while Kuni nipped at his skin. Ginny blushed again and stopped talking. She watched while Kuni pulled herself off her sister's mouth and hastily clambered around to lie on top of her, kissing her sister while squirming her wet cunt down on Minna's. She groaned loudly when Santa pulled out of the girl below and pushed deep inside her. "Dear diary," Ginny muttered. "Having a great time in Vilnius, watching Santa skewer Lithuanian sisters;" Santa grunted and pushed in hard, his hips trembling as he started to cum. Kuni and Minna screamed into one another's mouths, hips bucking furiously. He pulled out of Kuni and slammed back into Minna, filling her with cum as well before both sisters scrambled to their knees while he stood. They swallowed his cock greedily, taking turns pumping the shaft while the other sucked on it. They kissed around the throbbing cock, licking the pearly cum off one another's faces. "Esate labai geros mergaitės," Santa breathed, holding them both gently by the back of their heads while they sucked hungrily. "Keep up the good work and Santa will see you again next year;" "If we're not still here with these two whores next Christmas;" Ginny thought darkly. Santa’s copilot. Ginny was guiding the sleigh, but she kept looking back at Santa, trying not to smirk. He was sitting beside her, a rather blank stare on his face, his eyes a little red around the edges. "I'm still sorta hungry;" he said somewhat absently. "So you actually thought 'Colorado Gold' was a brand of flour used to make baked goods?" "Note to self," he murmured. "Do not eat the brownies left out for you in Denver;" Basement Bound. Ginny followed Santa as they crept down the stairs toward the basement apartment, a prismatic glow on the wall ahead of them indicating a tree was nearby. They rounded a corner and paused. A young man dressed in X-Men boxers and a white t-shirt almost walked into them as he rubbed his eyes. He stared at them for a moment, saying absolutely nothing. After a long, awkward pause, Santa reached back into his sack and pulled out a wrapped gift which he slowly handed to the kid. The kid took it equally slowly and unwrapped it, his eyes widening as several deluxe editions of the newest PC games were revealed. The kid smiled sheepishly and sighed. "Thanks, now that I know you're real." "You don't seem happy, Kevin," Santa said, obviously concerned. "You've been great all year and these are what you wanted, right?" "I; yeah, they are," sighed the kid. "At least, that's what I told everyone I wanted. My friends and I, we're all gamers, and this is amazing, but;" "But;" Santa pressed. "Well, Christmas is also my birthday," Kevin said. "Here I am, eighteen finally, and I still haven't had sex with a girl yet." Santa smiled. "Well, I normally deal exclusively in Christmas wishes rather than birthdays, but perhaps this year I can help you out there, Kevin." Kevin raised an eyebrow. "Virginia," Santa stated, looking at her. "I give you Kevin the Boy. Return unto me Kevin the Man." Ginny couldn't believe what she said next. "Thought you'd never ask, Big Red;" She walked forward and took the games out of Kevin's hands, tossing them over her shoulder. Santa grabbed them hastily out of the air as Ginny poked a finger into Kevin's chest and pressed him up against the wall. His eyes were wide, not at all sure what was happening. "Santa's already given you your Christmas presents," Ginny said as she knelt in front of him and tugged at his boxers. "Which means it's up to me to give you a happy birthday;" She pulled the boxers down and tossed them aside. His cock was limp but she could already tell it was swelling with excitement. Rather than teasing the poor virgin, Ginny stroked his shaft and slid her mouth all the way down, deep-throating him. Kevin shuddered and groaned loudly. "Make all the noise you want, you won't wake your parents upstairs," Ginny mentioned, pulling her mouth off his cock for a moment and pumping the shaft with her hand while she looked up at him. "The big man here has some sort of sound-dampening field or some shit so that he doesn't get caught busting into people's houses." Kevin's hands flattened against the wall and his fingers flexed as she slid her mouth down his length again before bobbing back and forth in a slow rhythm. She felt his fingers take her by the hair and begin kneading, lost in this clearly new delight. She hummed gently, vibrating her mouth around his sensitive skin. "Well, look at you," she remarked, smiling as she pulled back and gazed at his now hard and throbbing cock, glistening with the wetness of her mouth. "That's a nice dick you've got there, Kevin. You're a grower, I'm impressed." Kevin took a deep breath. "Maybe, but it doesn't look like much when it's limp. The one time I let a girl at school see it, I was nervous and it shrunk, so she was laughing at me." "Then I'll give you a tip before I fuck you, Kevin," Ginny said, stroking the shaft and spitting on it, to keep it moist while she instructed him. "Girls can be hideous cunts about that sort of thing sometimes, but they have their own insecurities. So never bring your insecurity to the ballgame. You need to be turned on and your Johnson here on the rise by the time you get naked for her." "Uh-huh?" he said somewhat uncertainly, shivering as she bent her thumb so that the pad pressed against the top of his mushroom head every time she stroked down. He couldn't believe this was happening. Some hot Elf-chick who looked like a Warcraft mod was blowing him! "So from now on, you dominate, you got it?" Ginny said. "Make her get naked or make her turn you on so that she can see how big your cock is before you ever get out of your boxers. No girl is gonna say no to this thing when it's fully inflated, I promise." "R-really?" Kevin asked. Ginny kept her eyes locked with his but reached down under her panties for several moment before bringing her fingers up for display. They glistened wetly in the dim light. "It's made me horny, champ. And because of that cock, I need to fuck you. You with me?" Kevin just thunked his head back against the wall, closed his eyes and nodded. "Oh, and don't worry about trying to last," Ginny added. "Being around the Red Machine makes you want to fuck and cum all night. You'll be fine." She swallowed his cock with a will, determined to give this kid the best first time anyone had ever had. Her hand followed her mouth along the shaft and she hummed, swirling her tongue along its length. The kid wasn't Santa, but this would be a perfectly good ride for any girl worth fucking once he had his confidence. Her free hand worked its way back inside her panties and began fingering, teasing her wet folds and slipping inside, getting her ready for the main event. "Umm, do you want to fuck me, Kevin?" she asked, smiling up at him. "Do you want to fuck my cunt good and hard?" "Uh; yes;" he whimpered. "Say it like you mean it, Thor," she insisted, pressing her thumb along the throbbing vein on the bottom of his thick shaft. "The girl wants confidence. This cock is worth your best effort." He took several deep breaths before looking down at her and nodding. "I want to fuck you." "You do?" she asked before sliding him back down her throat. "No," he said finally, taking her under the arms and pulling her up. Ginny exhaled suddenly as his cock popped out of her mouth unexpectedly and he spun her around to press up against the wall. "I don't want to fuck you; I will fuck you." "That's my boy," Ginny breathed, her eyes flashing with sudden lust and delight. She spread her legs and tilted her hips forward, eager to feel him inside her. "Fuck me good and hard, Kevin!" "K-zon," the boy almost growled, pressing his throbbing cockhead against her entrance. "My gaming tag is K-zon and that's what the girls will call me when I fuck them!" Ginny nodded eagerly. "Good. Give it to me, K-zon;" She moaned loudly as he pushed inside her, heedless of any sense of timing or technique, but eager to be deep in a woman. He squeezed her sides as he trembled, overcome by the wet, tight sensation of her cunt gripping him. Her arms wrapped around his shoulders and one leg slung over his hip as she looked into his eyes. Ginny began a pumping motion with her hips, sliding back and forth on his cock while K-zon was paralyzed by the flood of pleasure. "Alright, slugger," she whispered in a husky voice as she fucked herself on him. "Let's bust this first nut of yours quick, so you know what to expect. Don't hold back, just pound my cunt until you blow, got it?" He nodded as he buried his face in her shoulder and started pumping awkwardly with his hips, his whole body trembling. Ginny felt an unreal flush of heat coursing through her already, an intense orgasm building up inside. Holy shit, was she turned on and about to get off because she was mentoring a virgin? She pulled Kevin tight against herself and shivered, letting out a gasp while he moaned and jammed his hips up tight against hers, she could feel his cock twitching inside her as he spunked, Her own orgasm flooded over her, molten bubbles of ecstasy popping by the millions throughout her sweating, slick frame. He almost buckled at the knees, collapsing against her, panting like he'd run a marathon. Ginny smiled and caressed his hair, feeling his still-hard cock throbbing inside her. She ran her fingers over his cheek and looked into his eyes. "Ready to keep going?" she asked. "Second one's usually even better." He nodded and she pulled him down to his knees while she got on all fours, wiggling her invitingly. She winked back at him. "You know what to do, K-zon," she purred. "Show me what you're gonna do to the girls this coming year;" Without another thought, he took Ginny by the hips and slid his cock deep inside her again. Ginny moaned loudly, lowering her head to the floor and pushed back against him. She felt him begin to push back and forth and matched his rhythm by squeezing her cunt muscles around him as he slid in. His fingers dug into her hips and ass cheeks delightfully. She could tell he might last a little longer this time, but not by much. Then again, she wasn't here to teach him to be a sex god, she was here to pop his cherry and give him a birthday to remember. "Umm, right there, big man;" she panted, surprised that she meant what she was saying. She wasn't just stroking his fragile ego, she was quite serious, because he was hitting a spot in her cunt that she really liked. He had a long enough cock that it touched her pleasure spot and he was just wide enough to pleasantly stretch her so that she knew she was being fucked properly. With confidence, this kid would be a good lay. Kevin slapped his thighs against her ass cheeks and she squeaked and yelped in response. Her gooey cunt clenched him tightly, utilizing those vaginal contractions she seemed to be so damned expert at tonight. "Fuck;" Kevin grunted as he pumped his hips, his chest now glistening with sweat. "This is so much better than my hand or a fleshlight!" "Uh, and you feel a lot fucking better than a vibe," Ginny panted, still face-down and ass-up. "You're gonna make them scream, K-zon;" He seemed encouraged by her words and pumped harder, determined to make Ginny and himself cum again. He seemed to have found his rhythm and fucked her steadily, his eyes closed as he lost himself in the unreal sensation of sex with a live girl. Ginny bit at the knuckle of her middle finger, aware of how flushed and warm her body was. She could feel her wetness trickling down over her stomach from her cunt, since her ass was perched in the air. The slick, sucking noises of her sex were unmistakable. "Oh, you're doing really good, K-zon," she said breathily. "You're gonna have me cumming again before long!" Kevin seemed to be beyond words as he merely nodded hastily and kept fucking her, eyes closed and back arched. The slapping noise of his thighs against her ass was a wet one now, since they were both sweating profusely. She could feel the damp perspiration in her hairline, her mouth open and she wiped at it when she realized she was almost drooling. "Yes, K-zon!" she gasped, using the name he wanted again, pushing back against him but still letting him control the action. "Fucking make me cum! Don't hold back! Uh, fuck!" Kevin jammed his hips against her suddenly and cried out, a sound that Ginny echoed half a second later. Rapture splintered through her as she came, feeling him slamming against her as he climaxed, his pearly offering now deep inside her. Through glassy eyes, she looked around for Santa, to see if he was watching, but he was nowhere in sight. Kevin seemed ready to fall over, exhausted, but she gently pushed backward until he sat on his behind with her in his lap, facing away. Slowly she turned around and laid him on the floor, his cock still deep inside her. She put her hands on his shoulders and smiled down at him, her nipples tracing little patterns over his chest as she did so. "That was amazing, K-zon," she said quietly. "A really great addition to my night." He was still breathing heavily but nodded at her. "Thanks. It was more than I could have hoped for. I;I guess it's been a busy evening for you this way?" "Well, you're my only virgin to this point, if that's what you're asking," Ginny sighed. "The big red machine has fucked me more times tonight that I care to remember and I was nearly raped to death by Krampus, so this was exactly the sort of change of pace I needed, you know?" She sat up, still straddling him and impaled on his cock, a thought occurring to her. "Hey, Big Red," she called out. "I just let him bust in me twice, do you have any fixes dated from yesterday?" A tiny white pill flew out of the other room. She caught it deftly in her hand and popped it in her mouth. "I'm getting good at this 'time-is-fluid' shit," she giggled to herself. "Maybe I'll teach quantum physics." "You don't need a glass of water or anything?" Kevin asked, looking up at her. "Trust me, Kevin, if there's one thing I'm good at, it's swallowing." Ginny replied, smiling down at him somewhat haughtily before carefully pulling herself off his cock, causing them both to shudder and moan quietly. She knelt over his waist and sucked on his cock, cleaning their mingled cum off him and then helping him to his feet. She slipped her thong back on while Kevin retrieved his boxers. They were just straightening themselves out when Santa appeared from the other room. "Did you enjoy your birthday present, Kevin?" he asked cheerfully. "Yessir," the newly-minted young man said. "Best birthday present anyone ever received." "Glad to hear it," Santa said, nodding. "And I know it doesn't compare to what Virginia just gave you, but I think you'll be pleased with your new rig I just set up. Five terrabytes of hard drive space, thirty-two gigs of DDR4 RAM, an overclocked quad-core CPU that'll put the i7 to shame, eight fans, a nickle and copper piping coolant system and L E D to make sure everyone knows you're in the house. Oh, and I've upgraded your server to be multi-line, WAN and load-balancing. You and your guild will never lag again as long as you host." Kevin's eyes went wide. "I've got fat pipes?" Santa nodded while Ginny shook her head, understanding none of this geek talk. It only figured that Santa was a giant nerd. Kevin looked like he might faint. "Well, I've just done what you deserved," Santa mentioned. "It's Virginia who should get the credit for your night being so spectacular." "Yeah," Kevin said, blushing and smiling at her. "Thanks." "My pleasure, trust me," she said easily. "Somebody have a pen I can use?" Santa handed her one and she looked at Kevin. "Your number, dude." Kevin managed to stutter out his number, which she wrote down on her wrist before nodding in satisfaction and giving the pen back to Santa. "Alright, if I ever happen to be in Ohio for some godforsaken reason, I can look you up and give you a booty call. Sound good?" Kevin nodded dumbly. "Just remember this," she said, poking him in the chest, her voice serious. "You've got a lot to learn still. You've got a nice cock between your legs, don't treat it like a Louisville Slugger and just beat the hell out of her with it, you're better than that." He nodded. "And if a girl wants you to fuck her, she'll give you signals, so watch." Ginny added, poking his chest with her nail. "Don't assume you can just force yourself on anyone or next year it's dead spiders in your stocking, you got it?" Kevin nodded again. "Excellent," she said sweetly. "Now go to sleep, champ. Merry Christmas and happy birthday. C'mon, Santa, we have a holiday to save!" "Yes, my lady!" Santa laughed, following her out of the basement. They were back on the roof when Santa smirked at her as they climbed into the sleigh. "Dead spiders in the stocking?" She shrugged. "Isn't that what you'd give a guy if he forced himself on a girl?" "Well, no," he replied as he snapped the reins and they took off into the cold night air. "That's more of a legal issue. If he was considering it, I wouldn't have mentioned dead spiders, I'd' have been more inclined to point out that he'd spend the next few years in a cell as some fat, greasy tattooed bastard's buttery cornhole." The sleigh lurched to one side as Ginny burst out laughing. A Pretty Man. Santa stared awkwardly, making a wry face while Ginny stood off to the side, smirking. Standing in front of Santa was a very pretty young man in pale pink pajamas, his hands behind his back, one knee turned in, twisting his toe into the rug and blushing expectantly. Ginny wiped a tear away from her eye, she was trying so hard not to laugh. "Yeah, that ain't happening." Santa said finally. "But I've been so good;" the young man cooed, smiling coyly and winking. "C'mon, Santa," Ginny urged, clearly enjoying his discomfiture. "He's been so good, and you always reward your good children, don't you?" "Nice try, lady," Santa said, pressing behind his ear, apparently activating a communicator. "Get Agent 641 to me, I need a pinch hitter, stat." Santa threw a small disk on the floor while Ginny and the young boy in pink watched curiously. The device oscillated and expanded, becoming a larger disk. Seconds later it began to glow and hum. A column of rainbow light radiated up from it and a kneeling shape appeared. Seconds later, the rainbow light faded away and a lithe, comely figure stood. He had the same slender, beautiful features as the warrior-elves who had fought earlier that night, his eyes a piercing violet color, his impossibly long raven hair held in gold rings. His pale body was naked except for a tiny thong. "Holy shit snacks;" Ginny breathed as she gazed stupidly at the new arrival, feeling her thong get wet. "Ylmarin, young Trevor here has been an extra-good boy, perhaps you'd care to reward him?" Santa suggested as the inhumanly graceful being stepped off the platform. The tall being looked down at the young man named Trevor, assessing him and then nodded. "Yes, sire, I can absolutely do this." Trevor blushed furiously and giggled, covering his face. Ylmarin reached over and took the boy's hand before leading him back to the bedroom. Santa nodded and began rummaging around in his toy sack, putting items under the tree. "Okay, we got that out of the way," he said, squatting and putting items under the decidedly pink-lit tree. "Virginia, if you could hand me the, Virginia? Ginny?" He frowned and turned to look for his helper, finally sighting her. She was standing in the doorway to the bedroom and looking in. One of her hands squeezing her tits while the other had snaked down inside her panties. "Alright, go on, you little voyeur." Santa chuckled, shaking his head. "Yum yum!" she squeaked and skipped into the room, from which moans were now emanating. Seeking to be naughty. "You weren't worried about being on the Naughty List if you waited up for me?" Santa asked the dark-haired girl as she sat on her floor, watching him intently. She pushed her glasses up her nose and shook her head, pretty curly locks spilling over her shoulders as she did so. "Not worried, hmm?" he mused, observing her. "So you think you're already on the Naughty List?" The girl nodded. Ginny blinked and pursed her lips. "Why isn't she talking? Is she mute or doesn't she speak English?" Santa shook his head. "No, Ellie's just shy. She doesn't speak much at first, but once she gets going;" He knelt down in front of the girl and smiled. "Well, here I am. What is it you wanted to ask me, Ellie?" The tan girl turned her head and looked down at the floor sheepishly for several seconds before working up the nerve to speak. "I; I want my daddy, Santa." Ginny blinked. "She what, wants him back from deployment for Christmas, she wants her father to move back home;" "No, Virginia," Santa said cheerfully. "She doesn't want her father, she wants her daddy." "Oh," Ginny said, suddenly understanding. "So, now what?" "That's all she wanted for Christmas, so we give her, her daddy." Santa said simply. The girl's eyes lit up in delight and she sat up straight, looking very excited. Santa pointed behind Ellie and she turned to look behind herself; Her daddy stood in the doorway, his green-hazel eyes mirroring her excitement and a big grin on her face. His long, sandy-blond hair fell down to his shoulder blades. "Daddy!" Ginny squealed as she scrambled to her feet and threw herself against her daddy, kissing him feverishly. He held her tight, returning the kiss while she began pulling his clothes off him. "I missed you so much!" "Missed you too, baby;" he murmured through the kiss as he pulled her top off, exposing her lush tits. "I never had a daddy." Ginny sighed as she watched the couple get increasingly naked and feeling the now-familiar tingle building. "I should take care of that at some point." "I've got some other deliveries in the immediate area," Santa mentioned. "How about I go take care of them while you have a little fun with these two?" "Well, I'm not attracted to girls." Ginny said in a non-committal tone. "You just didn't know you were until tonight." Santa replied, smiling. "Just trust me on this, Virginia." "Well, like you said earlier, I've had you inside all my orifices, so what's the harm in trusting you now, right?" she admitted, shrugging. Would being bisexual be such a bad thing? It certainly widened her options for dating. Santa nodded and walked out of the room. Ginny turned to look at the couple she was left with, who were already splayed out on the rug, naked and pleasuring one another. Ellie was lying on top of her daddy, facing down his body and sucking on his cock hungrily while he was pulling her slippery cunt lips apart and sliding his tongue up and down her twat, making her shiver and moan. "Fuck it," Ginny said finally, stripping out of her skimpy outfit and walking up to the two of them. She laid down beside Ellie's daddy and smiled at her, both their heads over hips. "Feel like tag-teaming, babe?" Ellie looked up for a moment and nodded readily. Ginny smiled and leaned in, flicking her tongue against the tip of his cock. The curly-haired girl giggled and joined Ginny in teasing the throbbing cock, taking turns sliding their tongue up and down the shaft while the other swirled her tongue around the head and took it into her mouth, starting to bob up and down. Ginny felt herself getting really wet and pressed her lips to Ellie's around the head of her daddy's cock, kissing her. They both moaned as their tongues tangled around the glistening head. Ginny's hand slipped into the girl's hair, wrapping in it to hold her in place. Ellie smelled like strawberries and Ginny felt herself getting wetter as she took in the scent. "Daddy," whimpered the girl. "Fuck me;" Ginny knelt up while the other girl straddled her daddy's hips, facing down his body. Her sticky cunt was positioned over his throbbing cock and Ginny took hold of it and guided it home. Ellie sighed almost in relief as she sank down, his cock filling her. Smiling wickedly, Ginny made Ellie lie back along her daddy's body and the girl gasped as her put his hands on her tits and held her. As Ellie and her daddy began to squirm and writhe, her glistening cunt swallowing his cock greedily, Ginny bent down and tongued at the shaft as it slid back and forth through her lips. She pressed her thumb gently on Ellie's clit, causing her to shudder and moan loudly. Then her tongue traced a slow route around the engorged cunt lips, teasing her new girl lover. Ellie whimpered and panted, begging her daddy to fuck her harder. Ginny sucked Ellie's clit into her mouth and was rewarded with a strangled cry from above. She fondled the sac in front of her gently and pressed on the throbbing vein. Her cunt was getting wetter with each passing moment and she needed to know if Ellie would share; Without another word, she crawled over Ellie and settled down on top of her, her tits squashing into the succulent set below. She moved around until she felt her cunt pressed to Ellie's and the magical, rhythmic motion of the cock still pumping in and out of her. She shuddered as their lips and clits met and they wrapped their arms around one another, kissing shamelessly. Tongues snaked and writhed as they moaned into one another's mouths. "Daddy," panted the younger girl. "Fuck Santa's elf-girl; fuck her please;" Ginny felt her own ferocious desire rising as the cock slurped out of Ellie and pressed against her. She groaned gutturally as she felt the head penetrate and then she pressed down eagerly, taking it deep inside her. Still sandwiched between them, Ellie took one of Ginny's tits and sucked the nipple into her mouth, swirling her tongue around it. Ginny arched her back and hissed through clenched teeth, squeezing hard on the invading cock. She ground down on Ellie's daddy, gyrating her hips and her fingers digging into the other girl's skin. Ellie sucked and bit her nipples, the delicious sting heightening her ecstasy. She body was streaming with sweat while he fucked her, Ellie's soft flesh undulating against hers. She could hear him panting and feel him stiffening and knew what happened next. With great haste and even greater reluctance, she pulled herself off the cock and knelt, pulling Ellie up into a kneeling position. She helped her daddy stand quickly while Ellie took his cock and pumped it eagerly with her hand. Once he was standing, they both attacked his cock with their mouths and hands, pleasuring him beyond endurance. He put his hand on the back of their heads and groaned loudly, his hips shuddering as he came. Both girls pressed their faces in, letting him spurt on their mouths and cheeks, hands still working the shaft quickly. The warm, sticky cum brought with it a warm flush of memories, how it always felt on her skin, the tingling, scintillating pleasure she always felt in the ardor of others. Ellie's soft tits pressed to hers, their cheeks meeting as they accepted the pearly offering, on their chins and now glazing their tits; she loved it all. She was never happier than when she was in the throes of passion with others. Was this what she was truly meant to do? Was this a Christmas epiphany? Ellie and Ginny began kissing hungrily, licking the cum off one another's faces with a fervor, then off each other's neck and tits. They returned their attention to the still twitching cock, kissing and sucking it dry. Once Ellie's daddy was spent, she laid him down and Ginny helped her snuggle into his warm, loving embrace. The girl smiled at her and giggled before blowing a kiss. Ginny gathered up her outfit and exited the apartment quietly. Not surprisingly at this point, the sleigh was just pulling back onto the roof as she arrived. Santa smiled at her. "So did you know I was bi all these years?" she asked as she clambered into the seat and beside him and snuggled into his side as they took off. He nodded. "Not my place to rob you of your journey of self-discovery, though." "Maybe," she sighed. "But think about all the fun I've missed out on, not playing with girls too. Doubling the size of my dating pool might have made a difference." "You've always been who you're meant to be, Virginia," he said cheerfully. "And your little epiphany tonight is going to have big implications in the year to come. Trust me." Her eyes widened. "For real?" "Would I lie?" Santa laughed. Ginny in the sleigh. Ginny was lying back in the plush red seat of the sleigh, her chest heaving as she stared at the pre-dawn sky. Her little elf-outfit was almost in shreds and she was missing one of her shoes. Even Santa looked a little worn. "So that's what sex with an entire sorority house feels like;" she said distantly. "Kinda gives me a new respect for those college quarterbacks. Those girls are animals." Santa nodded. "I have to admit, that wore me out a little too, which is saying something. And before you ask, yes, they have all been good this past year and they sent me one letter asking for Santa to fuck them as a sorority, so that really was their Christmas present." Ginny nodded. "That and the four metric tons of vibrators, dildos, eggs, anal beads, ben-wa balls and lingerie I saw you drop off; and about thirty Sybians." "They're a really good sorority house." Santa admitted. Ginny just stared at the sky. "Hard to believe that you're brought up a certain way, being told that good kids act a certain way, only to find out that being a total mega-slut is not grounds for being added to the Naughty List but sneaking cookies when mom told you not to is." "I didn't make the rules," Santa said, shrugging, but then he paused. "Oh, wait; ya know, I probably did, a long, long time ago." Ginny giggled tiredly. "This has been the longest and most oversexed night of my life, and that's saying something for me. Where are we headed, Big Man?" "Well, it's almost dawn." Santa said, looking east. "I'm going to have to drop you off before long now that my rounds are done." "Yeah," Ginny said somewhat reluctantly. "Since I don't have a house, I guess you should drop me off at my parents' place. I can't exactly tell 'em that my house was destroyed in a massive battle between Santa's elves and Krampus, but maybe they'll believe a gas main exploded." "You can't lie, Virginia, we've been over this." Santa said firmly. "Well I can't really tell them the truth either, can I?" Ginny pointed out, hoping she didn't sound too quarrelsome. "I know;" he said quietly, still guiding the sleigh. The soared through the dark sky for some time, saying nothing. Eventually, Ginny began to make out shapes in the night, sleek silhouettes that looked almost like slender, jet-powered Skidoos, being ridden by beings in strange armor with glowing runes and wild mans of hair. "Just my guardians," Santa said in an assuring tone. "Making sure there are no last-minute attempts to thwart us." The earth far below them took on a white cast and Ginny knew that they were above a region covered in snow. She couldn't feel it, but she could sense the cold air around them as the sleigh angled down, heading to the ground. The landing was predictably smooth and they finally came to a stop, flanked by the jet bikes and their unsettling warriors. Santa jumped out and helped Ginny down, smiling at her and wrapping her in a warm, furry red blanket from head to toe. When he pulled it off her, she was no dressed in a stylish red velvet dress, trimmed in white and ending on her upper thighs to show lots of leg. Her calf-high boots were red and edged with white, with adorable little poms dangling from the side. She even had a white poof to keep her hands warm and the Santa hat she now wore kept her ears toasty. "You look beautiful," he said as he waved in front of himself to conjure an ice mirror that reflected her image perfectly. "And without you, Virginia, there wouldn't have been a Christmas this year. You need to understand that." Ginny blushed prettily and walked alongside him, petting the reindeers as she walked by. She even gave Donner a kiss on the nose and the beast snorted and blushed, pawing the ground. They walked casually through the snow, holding hands until they were approached by several people. Ginny's eyes went wide, these were all women, clad in black armor with baroque chest plates reminiscent of bustiers. They all wore their hair bobbed, universally black or platinum in color and they carried savage-looking rifles or flamethrowers. They all knelt reverently as Santa approached. "Do I want to know?" Ginny breathed. "My personal guard," Santa said, nodding to the women as he passed through them. "Orphan girls I've saved from a cruel world. They're fanatically devoted to me, even beyond my elves." Her mouth was somewhat dry when she asked the next question. "Do you; you know;" "Yes, Virginia," he said, saving her the difficulty of asking. "They're also my lovers. When they're not fighting for me or standing guard, they live in the bliss I seem uniquely capable of giving women." "That doesn't sound like such a bad life," Ginny said, a hopeful tone in her voice. "I mean, I'm no orphan, but I'd say we pretty compatible sexually. Aren't we?" He turned and took her gently by the arms, smiling warmly down into her eyes in that way that made her knees go weak. Other people may have seen the fat old jolly man, but she could see only the copper-haired and bearded giant with eyes deeper than a galaxy and a boyish smile that she knew she'd always love. "You're right, Virginia, you're not an orphan," he said quietly. "These girls had no future. I have no right to rob you of yours. And believe me, you don't want to miss it." He took her hand and kept walking, snow gently falling as they walked through the stands of tall trees. When they emerged on the far side, he grinned and gestured grandly in front of them. Ginny's eyes went wide. Across the clearing was her lovely home, looking as good as new. Squads of warrior-elves stood guard menacingly around the perimeter while other, smaller beings she more associated with the Christmas story elves scampered around, making final adjustments to the domicile. "Like the whole thing never happened," Santa declared. "And there are even some improvements, I might add." "Ya don't say," Ginny said somewhat absently, still staring in disbelief. All sign of the titan battle fought on her property less than twelve hours ago were gone. "Uh; improvements?" Santa nodded. "We added solar panels and some subtle wind turbines, so you can officially live off the grid. Water's hooked up to a local artesian well. Improved your internet connection, you get about two hundred megabits per second, not to mention the fact that we connected you to our servers, so the Tor Network and the Deep Web have nothing on you for security and anonymity." "Wow;" was all she seemed to be able to say. "Let's see, we reinforced the frame and the roof, you could probably get hit by a meteor and barely notice," Santa continued. "Windows are made of transparent aluminum, they're durable, to say the least." "No bugs crashing through my bay windows?" she asked. "Actually got a nifty physics trick for you

Miracle On Route 34: Part 1 Ginny gets a wonderful Christmas surprise. Based on a post by BiscuitHammer, in 3 parts. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. Author's Notes: Someone asked me to write a funny and erotic Christmas tale, but since I can't be normal, it is taking on a radical twist that I hope people will find amusing. I've tried to make Santa awesome but also give him some flaws that the ladies will find both charming and irksome all at once. I wasn't going to call it anything lame like 'Here Cums Santa Claus' (in spite of my love of Elvis) so I eventually settled on ripping off a classic and beloved Christmas movie, naming it 'Miracle On Rural Road 34'. Couldn't help myself with the 'Yes, Virginia' quip, of course. As for Superman, Oatmeal and the Easter Bunny, well, get used to more groaners like that, because I like them. Merry ho-ho and keep your stick on the ice! , Management Chapter 1. Ginny Hale sighed forlornly as she sat on her chesterfield in the dim room, the only light provided by the crackling fireplace and some scented candles spread around to make the house smell like gingerbread. She'd made gingerbread cookies earlier, but they were predictably burnt and now her kitchen smelled like a Christmas elf's ass. She took another sip of red wine from her oversized glass, unable to decide who or what to be mad at, the weather, for bringing this god-awful blizzard on Christmas Eve, her so-called friends for ditching her after she'd gone to all this work to put together a nice party, or herself for going crazy and buying this (admittedly nice) chateau way out here in the boondocks. Still relatively new to her negotiator position, Ginny had landed a huge deal for the company she worked for and the payout bonus was one of the biggest ever seen in-house. Though she had an office, she had often worked from her cramped apartment downtown, where a glorious chaos only she understood reigned. But the payout had been large enough for her to purchase a very pretty home in the country, not more than ninety minutes from work. Her boss was so pleased with the deal that he said she only had to come in once a week, to pick up whatever she needed to work on. It had seemed like a great idea at the time, but now she found she was quite lonely. Few people were will to put forth the effort to come out and visit her. In fact, only three had since the summer when she bought it. Hell, even her boy-toy, Chad from Accounting, could not be bothered and was now just fucking Lily in the secretary pool instead. Bing Crosby was singing 'White Christmas' to her while she moped. The big bay windows to her back porch showed the fury of the storm outside. Driving snow had been battering the countryside for two days now and her boss had called her to just stay safe and not try to come into the city. He was a nice old man and she liked him. He'd actually taken a chance and given her the job, after she'd fucked him. She hadn't invited him to her little soiree, because his miserable old bat of a wife was hovering around him constantly these days, certain he'd been tipping on her. But even without Old Man Reese, she'd invited upward of twenty people and none of them had shown. Not even Claire, her best supposed friend, had made it out. She was probably too busy being pinned and screwed by her boyfriend anyway, Guido or Nunzio or whatever his name was. Dean Martin came on, singing 'Marshmallow World'. Normally this was one of her favorites, but tonight it just reminded her that she was alone for Christmas. Again. With another sigh, she drank the rest of the wine in her glass and reached for the bottle, turning it over. It was empty. Damn. She'd have to open another one. She walked slowly into the kitchen, wearing her ratty old fox-themed footie pajamas, having decided that if she didn't have to dress up for anyone, she was dressing at all. She took a deep drink of spiked egg nog from the jug of it she'd prepared while she found another bottle of zinfandel and burped very loudly. She wrestled the cork off of the bottle and poured most of the contents into her oversized glass, muttering that she didn't have to answer to anyone about what she did, she was a big girl. She slumped back down on the couch while John Lennon asked her what she'd done for Christmas from the stereo system. "Up yours, John;" she said testily as she drank more wine. She stood unsteadily, blinking for a moment to try and clear her head. She might have had a bit of a wine fog going on, since she'd nearly polished off two bottles of Old Vine Zinfandel in under two hours. Convincing herself that walking was not a bad idea, she tottered over to the bay windows, reaching a hand out in front of herself to make sure it encountered the glass before her face did. "Will you look at that shit out there;" she muttered to no one in particular. After all, there was no one around to hear her. Well, almost no one. "Hi, Oatmeal," she said sweetly, grinning lopsidedly at the bearded dragon that sat in a terrarium near the bay doors. "Looks like you're my Christmas date; again;" The tiny lizard said nothing but assumed a darker shade of purplish brown. "Same to you too, bugface." Ginny muttered sourly, annoyed at being spurned by a reptile with a brain smaller than a sugared peanut. She lumbered back to the kitchen, trying unsuccessfully to eat several pieces of the Turkish Delight she'd tried to make, but they were sticky and runny, most of the reddish-pink mess ending up stuck to the front of her pajamas. "Son of a fucking reindeer!" she spat, attempting to remove the pajamas, her sticky fingers having trouble with the zipper. She finally kicked the thing off and left it in a corner of the kitchen, now wearing nothing except her panties and a halter top. She stomped back into the spacious living room, thoroughly annoyed. While the music played, she looked around for something to do, taking another pull from the egg nog jug she'd brought with her. The hot tub. It sat near the bay windows, set into the floor and was large enough for five or six people. She'd been hoping that maybe a few people of the dozens she'd invited would show and maybe they could have a fun pool party. She'd even told everyone in the invitations to bring their swimsuits. But of course, no one showed. She was beginning to suspect she could live in Buckingham Fucking Palace and still no one would come to see her. This was, literally, the fifth Christmas she'd spent by herself. The timing for friends never worked out and her parents were always off in Monaco or some such place, avoiding the weather. Her mom had already called earlier that night, so she wouldn't hear any more from them for a few days now. She sighed yet again and pulled off her underthings, stepping into the water. She was drunker than she wanted to admit, though, missing her footing, squealing and tumbling into the tub with a splash. Ginny came to the surface, sputtering and hissing in outrage. Why couldn't anything work out? Oatmeal just stared at her impassively. "You win this time, gravity;" she growled, displeased with her inelegant entrance. Well, at least she'd been smart enough to put down the jug of nog before trying to get in. She turned on the jets and retrieved her beverage, taking another big pull as the tub rumbled to life. Ginny laid back her head against one of the padded rests and tried to relax, to let her frustrations go. She turned on the jets and allowed one to massage her lower back while sipping at a glass of wine. She tried to put the frustrations of the holiday behind her, to let go of the feelings of rejection and somehow not belonging. "Why did I but this new fucking home if no one was interested in visiting? Everyone said they thought it was so great, but months later, still no visitors. Do I really not matter that much?" It annoyed her to think not only that she was alone, but that doubtless most of the people who had ditched her were at home getting laid. Claire was doubtless face down and ass up on her bed, getting plowed from behind by Guido. Even Mr. Reese, the old geezer, was probably getting some, either from his wife or maybe one of his secretaries. She sighed heavily and sat up, putting her now-empty wine glass aside and deciding that just because she was alone on Christmas Eve didn't mean she wasn't owed at least one good orgasm. She leaned forward and rested her forearms on the padded edge of the hot tub, positioning herself so that one of her jets, the one she'd named 'Juan', was right behind her. She felt the flow of water begin to caress her and she rested her head on her forearms as she wiggled further back, feeling the jet more strongly now as it pushed against her ass and her cunt. With a sigh, she found the perfect distance and pressed her face down into her arms, letting Juan work his magic. Water pressure massaged her cunt lips, strong enough to part them and to tease her clit, sending thrills through her. She shuddered and sighed loudly, forgetting, for now, how much men sucked. She bit the knuckle of her index finger, lost in reverie. God, if only it were a man fucking her. "Alone; on fucking Christmas; where's, ah!, where's the justice in that?" She was sweating now and panting as the relentless jets battered her nether tinglies, the sensations overwhelming her steadily. She clenched her teeth and her fists, straining as she fought to hold on a little longer. She moaned very loudly, her whole body shaking as Juan delivered a wonderful orgasm. She panted and groaned shamelessly, knowing that no one was around to see her in her pent-up, frustrated lust, expending it on her Jacuzzi jets. The scintillating lights behind her eyes, however, were over all too quickly and the climax subsided, replaced by a juddering sensitivity that made Juan's caress too much to bear. She collapsed against the edge of the hot tub, moving her ass away from the jet. "Alone; again;" She may have needed the orgasm, but it did nothing to improve her mood. It didn't help that the song 'This Christmas' by Shoes had begun playing as the cumming ended. When it finally felt like her legs would work again, she turned around and slumped into a corner of the tub, as far from Juan as possible. Ginny stayed still for some time, until her feet and fingers felt that annoying level of pruny that made everything awful to touch. With the heat of the water and all the alcohol she'd drunk, she was feeling rather light-headed, so she turned off the stereo and shut off the lights. She found a plate of her fucked-up and burnt gingerbread cookies and left them on a table near the fireplace along with the jug of nog before beginning to head upstairs to bed. "Yeah. Fuck this day. And fuck tomorrow too. Maybe if I stay drunk enough it'll just fly by. Fuck Christmas." The second floor was an open space in the middle, looking down onto the main floor. A set of stairs led up on either side and the bedrooms were spaced around the gallery. She'd loved the design when she bought it, but this only increased her frustration when no one ever came to visit. "Gorgeous fucking house; ten acres of beautiful nature filled with deer and ugly-ass wild turkeys; a fucking pond people could skate on; shit, I even found a patch of landrace back there! What's not to love about my new home? Why aren't people shitting themselves in jealousy?" She reached the master bedroom, sighing at how big it felt since she had no one to share it with. She stood in front of the mirror, looking at her naked body and sighing. She was trim and fit, with nicely-sized boobs, she kept her cunt shaved smooth and her full lips were simply made to suck cock. Her skin was fair and even and her dark brown hair was long enough to pull on if you were fucking her ass or taking her from behind. So what the hell was wrong? The bed was certainly big enough for two (or maybe her and two guys who didn't mind getting close), but she plunked herself down into it and stared at the ceiling, waiting for the room to stop drunk-spinning. It took longer than she wanted it to, but things finally slowed down an she breathed deeply. She reached over with her hand and fumbled around inside the drawer of the nightstand. She finally withdrew an elegant glass dildo, a barely opaque white with bright red stripes curling around it to simulate a candy cane. It had been a Christmas gift from Claire, who had jokingly given it to her until she found a man for herself. That bitch. "Well, Frosty," she sighed, examining him. "Looks like it's you and me tomorrow. I promise to not get out of bed except to go to the bathroom or get more booze, okay? Because I'm here for you;" And with that she kissed the dildo and put it aside. She turned out her lamp and sighed deeply as she lay in the dark, waiting for sleep to take her. "Fuck Christmas;" A noise from downstairs. Her eyes snapped open. She was sure she'd heard something. Her heart pounded in her chest. She took deep breaths to try and calm herself, reasoning that she'd been drunk and it might just be hangover noises. Maybe just something like branches scraping on the roof or across the walls? Ginny felt a flush of anger and slowly rose, getting out of bed and putting on a plush yellow robe. There were definitely sounds downstairs. She grabbed her rape whistle and her high-school field hockey stick off the wall before quietly opening the door and proceeding out of the room. Her cheeks flushed with fear and anger. How dare someone invade her house? And in this fucking weather! "Burglars? Ruffians? Escaped cons?" "Well, at least if they see you they might have their way with you and break your dry spell." She shook the vile notion from her head, wondering where the hell that'd come from. Could she be that desperate to get laid? Ginny walked as quietly as she could, hearing noises on the roof. Raccoons? Looking to get in from the cold? Fucking trash pandas. She rounded the corner of the gallery and put her foot on the top step, her hockey stick ready. She crept down the stairs, still hearing the noises. They seemed to be coming from her living room. Her eyes narrowed as she tried to identify anything that might be amiss. Then she saw him, a symphony of red trimmed in white, the huge ass swaying back and forth as the intruder was bent over her at the base of her Christmas tree, doing God only knows what to it. He seemed to be humming to himself. She walked up silently until she was maybe ten feet away from him, her hockey stick over her shoulder, ready to swing. He didn't hear her or took no notice of her. "I don't want to hurt you," she growled through clenched teeth. "But you'd best get the fuck out of my house or I'll hit you so hard Google won't be able to find you." The person in red paused in their activities and then stood up slowly. After another moment's pause, they stood up and turned around slowly. He was slightly taller than average and quite a bit fatter than societal norms allowed. He had a fat face with dancing blue eyes and red cheeks. Beneath the tapered red hat was long, silvery-white hair and a very full beard and moustache. The intruder looked at her and grinned. "Shouldn't you be in bed?" he asked with a voice that could only be described as jolly. Ginny said nothing. She seemed to be rooted to the spot. She wanted to say something, anything, but she seemed to have been robbed of the power of speech. "W, who;" she finally managed to stammer. "Yes, Virginia," the visitor said quietly but pleasantly in a soothing voice. "There really is a Santa Claus." She blinked and shook her head, trying to articulate a coherent thought. The big man in red chuckled, clearly amused by her predicament. "Your egg nog was very good," he mentioned as he walked forward a little. "Your cookies needed a little work, but I appreciate the effort. Maybe a cookbook next year?" "Stay still!" she snapped, suddenly coming out of her stupor and holding the hockey stick behind her head as if she was winding up for a hit. "I'll deck you, old man!" "Oh, there's no need for that," he said cheerfully, totally unconcerned by her threat. "It's been a rough year for you, hasn't it, Ginny?" "Why do you know my name?" she asked, her eyes narrowing in suspicion. "Of course I know it," the man claiming to be Santa said jovially. "I'd be pretty lousy at my job if I didn't, right?" "If you're really Santa," she said tightly, still not understanding why she hadn't knocked this guy's head off his shoulders yet. "Then what was I doing the night of October seventeenth last year?" He tilted his head to the side a little and pursed his lips. "Are you sure?" "C'mon, you haven't got all day." "Very well," he said, sighing. "You were sitting in McPhearson's Pub, waiting vainly for Greg from IT to show up, because you'd given him a blowjob in the bathroom earlier that day and promised him more. But he went off with Becky from Accounts that night instead of meeting up with you." She blushed furiously at the memory. "I; that wasn't the day I meant! I meant the sixteenth!" He shrugged. "You had the day off and were really frustrated. You slid a condom over that very field hockey stick and used it on yourself, just to see what it was like." Ginny dropped the stick very suddenly. "How the hell do you know that, you perv?" The man shrugged. "I know all about you, Ginny. And every other boy and girl in the world" "Don't give me that horseshit!" she hissed, glaring at him. "I had too many Christmases where I didn't get what I want to buy into that cockamamie story!" "Well, you weren't exactly the most exemplary child, were you?" he reasoned. "I mean, you weren't horrible, it's not like you were out kicking puppies into woodchippers, but you spent more time in the naughty column that the good column, didn't you?" "What did I ever do that was so naughty?" she demanded hotly, her fists bunched up at her sides. "You and your brother could get rather friendly, couldn't you?" the man calling himself Santa pointed out. She faltered for a moment. "Lots of siblings play doctor. And those atomic booty bombs where I kept jumping in the air and landing on him were just playful." "While naked?" Santa asked, raising a bushy white eyebrow. Ginny blushed. "But that wasn't what landed you on the naughty list," he added. "What got you blacklisted was that you lied about doing your homework or cleaning your room while you were messing around with your brother. Your mom and dad would ask you to do your math and you'd slip away to play doctor instead and tell them you'd finished your homework after. Lying is naughty, right?" "Woah, hold the phone here," she said loudly, holding her head as if she was suddenly dizzy from a revelation. She didn't seem to notice that her robe had opened slightly, exposing her cleavage. "Are you fucking kidding me? Fibbing to my parents kept me from getting the gifts I wanted?" "Were the rules unclear?" Santa asked. "I thought the songs on the subject were so easy to follow." Ginny pinched her eyes in exasperation and then scowled at him. "I'm drunk," she concluded, trying to convince herself none of this was real. "I'm drunker than Sarah Palin and you're not really here. I'm still in bed and this is all bullshit." Santa shrugged. "I was putting stuff under your tree until you arrived and enjoying the nog. I won't mind if you go back to bed." "No, you're not getting off that easily," she said in annoyance. "You broke into my house in the middle of the storm of the fucking century and I want answers, dammit!" He shrugged. "Fair enough. Ask away." Her eyes narrowed again. "Aren't you on kind of a time crunch? Unless I'm the last person on your delivery list, don't you still have a shit ton of houses to visit? Say, a few hundred million?" He waved it off. "I've got it covered, I promise. I have all the time in the world for you, Ginny. I always have." "What, so you sub-contract out?" she said snidely. "Got FedEx making the rounds for you? Or maybe your 'Elves'?" She mentioned the last bit with air quotes. "Goodness, this has been a bad year for you, hasn't it?" he said sympathetically. "But to answer your question, I am capable of being many places at once." "Oh, so now you're the Kwizatz-Haderach?" she asked archly. "Hey, it's not just cinnamon I put in my Christmas cider." Santa chuckled. "It's rather complicated to explain." "So do you, like, clone yourself?" she asked, her guard seeming to slowly come down. "No, not at all," he said, shaking his head. "It involves Cherenkov Radiation, a Holmes field, a Gellar field and, to quote a friend of mine, 'a lot of wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey; stuff.'" "So it's some sort of deep quantum shit?" she asked, her body finally relaxing. He nodded, smiling. "Yes, it's very temporal and quantum. I can be many places at once. It's why I don't have to pay for billions in window repairs every year by going supersonic around the world." "So even while you're talking to me, you're delivering presents?" she asked, the sheer depth of the conversation hitting her now. She walked over to a stool and sat on it. "Like I said, it's difficult to explain without breaking out the chalkboard and calculator," he answered. "The magnetic lines between the poles help, especially the one that emanates from the Fortress of Solitude." Ginny blinked. "Fortress of Solitude? As in Superman? You're friends with Superman?" "Of course not!" the jolly man laughed. "There's no such thing as Superman, silly, he's a comic book character. Had you going, though." "Holy shit, Santa's a troll," she exclaimed, looking at him in bewilderment. "Well, okay, let's assume that this is all real and not a vivid hallucination resulting from a brain tumor. If I've been such a brat all these years, how do I make up for it? How do I get off the naughty girl list?" "Well, a little restraint would be a start," Santa suggested. "I'm not saying go out and become a Carthusian nun or a Buddhist priestess or anything, but you might try laying off the rampant promiscuity." "Why is that so bad?" she demanded. "What's so wrong with wanting to get banged?" "Nothing," he said simply. "But inevitably you get yourself into some kind of weird situation and end up lying your behind off and lying is a naughty thing to do. So try keeping your legs bolted together a little more." "Really;" she said, clearly not impressed. "Celibacy lessons from Santa Claus. Now I've heard everything." "According to my report here and speaking frankly, it's taken guys a lot less attractive than me a lot less effort to get you out of your clothes." Santa mentioned. "This coming from a guy who could clearly use a few P90-X sessions!" she shot back hotly, standing up, her robe opening further as she stomped toward him. He looked down at himself for a moment and guffawed. "Oh, right, I keep forgetting about that; hang on;" The man held his hands out to his sides and began to glow. The luminous display lit up the room progressively and Ginny held her hand in front of her face when it became too bright to look at for several seconds. When the light finally died away, leaving them once again in the softly lit living room, Ginny gaped in shock at what she saw. He was tall, powerfully built, with chiseled muscles, an eight pack and flawless, healthy skin. He'd removed his coat but the red pants remained, stretched tight over muscular thighs. Long, wavy, copper-colored hair fell past his shoulders and the full beard was reddish-gold. The sapphire-blue eyes stared down at her, still glittering with mirth. "Holy Jesus on a pogo stick;" she breathed, her voice little more than a whisper. "You're a total lumbersexual;" "This is what I really look like," he said, spreading his hands out to the sides and showing her his body. His chest rippled as the muscles flexed with the motion. "But kids react to the fat old man disguise better." "I'll bet mothers don't," she murmured, coming forward as if compelled and reaching out to touch his chest and washboard abs. "It's like you're Photo-shopped." He smiled as her hands caressed his abs. "You make me want to not get off the naughty list." "I think I know what you really want for Christmas;" he said slyly. Ginny paused and looked up at him in disbelief. "Are you kidding?" "No, I can't lie." the man in red pants replied. "I thought it was Superman who couldn't lie." "Well, the writers had to get that idea from somewhere, I guess." Santa mused. "In any event, if you want, you could end up on the good girl list by being rather naughty." She stared at him. "So; get laid by Santa for Christmas?" He shrugged. "There might be some other goodies in the bag for you, but I think we both know what Ginny really wants and needs for Christmas." "This is crazy, this is crazy, this is crazy!" she thought to herself, wrestling with her sensibilities. "If this is all just a dream, then I can fuck hunky Santa and have no regrets. If this is real, I can fuck sexy Santa and remember it in the morning! It's win-win!" "Well, this is super-easy," she declared. "Santa, I want you to fuck my brains out for Christmas." "With pleasure, Ginny!" he said, laughing merrily. "Whatever you like, however you want it. I have to keep the kiddies happy." "Good, but just don't say 'kiddies' anymore, because that's kinda creepy," she said, throwing her caution to the wind. She knelt down in front of him, putting her hands on the oversized silver belt buckle and undoing it. Letting it drop, she put her fingers on the front of his pants, caressing them over the crotch. Her mouth went dry. "That'd better not be a secondary present sack you're teasing me with;" Ginny hooked her fingers into the top of the velvety pants and pulled them down, revealing his cock. She drew in her breath slowly, her eyes widening. "Jesus," she muttered. "You're hung like a fat kid's Christmas stocking;" "Thanks, I make due." Santa said cheerfully, watching her admire his cock. "By the way, shouldn't I call you something else?" she asked, looking up at him while her hand reached up to take his huge shaft, wrapping around it, barely. "I mean, most people call you Santa Claus, but isn't your name Nick or Kris or something?" He shrugged again, grinning. "Nick, Kris, Klaus, Pelznickel, Joulupukki, Kanakaloka, Dun Che Lao Ren, Weihnachtsmann, Swiety Mikolaj, Hoteiosho, Jultomten, I don't mind, Ginny. I just like hearing you say my name the way you think of me." "Hmm, Santa;" she replied, smiling as she stroked her hand along his shaft, eyeing it hungrily. How the hell was she going to fit that all in her mouth, forget her aching cunt? "Ah, don't use that word," he chided, holding up a finger. "Some words are still naughty, even when you're an adult." "Stay out of my mind then, creeper." Ginny said as she leaned forward and swirled her tongue around the fat head of his cock. She flicked it around the tip and then slowly took it inside her mouth, tongue rolling against it. "The hell? How can his cock taste like mint?" "Just wait til you taste my cum." Santa said, leering. "Fine, but it better not taste like turkey gravy or we're gonna box." Ginny said as she pulled her mouth back for a moment. She pumped her hand gently along the shaft, studying her quarry intently. It was definitely the biggest cock she'd ever taken on, and the best-tasting. She'd been experiencing trippy magic all evening, maybe she could fit this monster in her mouth this one night; She put the head back in her mouth and relaxed, slowly pushing down the shaft. She moaned as she felt him slide to the back of her mouth and then to her throat. She felt him tremble and lay a huge but gentle hand on the back of her head. "Holy shit; I'm deep-throating Santa Claus;" Ginny took a deep breath through her nose and then tried to relax. Her whole body was tingling with excitement and the whole minty cock thing was throwing her off. Her tongue undulated along the underside of his shaft while the fingers of one hand formed a ring around the base of his cock and the other cupped his balls, fondling them. Ginny was proud of her cocksucking skills and if there was anyone she ever needed to impress with them (aside from her 11th Grade math teacher), it was probably Santa. She calmed herself and began pulling her mouth back along his length, humming and letting her lips vibrate softly on his sensitive skin. "Now I know why Mister Bondi gave you that A in math," Santa chuckled. "You're a very naughty girl, Virginia." "Hmm, only for you, Santa baby;" she cooed as she pulled her mouth off his cock long enough to respond, stroking slowly and swirling her tongue around the head again. She then slid back down the entire length, moaning in pleasure. She could feel her nipples getting hard and her cunt was very, very wet beneath her robe. Both his hands were on the back of her head now and holding her gently but firmly. She began to slowly bob back and forth, thrilled at how she was able to take this enormous beast of a cock all the way in her mouth. Sure, maybe there was some weird physics involved that compressed space and time or some shit, but she didn't care and he certainly didn't seem to mind. "Hmm, very good, Virginia;" he said softly, stroking her hair. No one ever called her Virginia and she didn't know why it gave her a tingle when he did. His cock was very full and very hard now, like a pulsing iron rod covered in mint-flavored velvet. She almost giggled at the thought of how crazy this all was. She really hoped it wasn't a dream. Her thumb began to squeeze along the underside of his cock as her hand followed her mouth up and down his length. The shaft glistened wetly and the mint was making her drool. She undid her robe and let it fall away, the air of the room kissing her flushed skin. Her hands now took hold of his powerful thighs and she began moving back and forth along his cock more quickly. She could feel his hands flexing in her long, dark hair, caressing her skin. Breathing through her nose, she moaned as she sucked ardently, her cunt almost aching with desire. She was hoping he would last long enough to fuck her when he went rigid suddenly and groaned, gripping her head tightly and his hips shuddering. Ginny's eyes widened as she felt him began to cum inside her mouth, spurting strongly. She began swallowing hastily, almost in a panic as Santa pumped his hips against her face. "Holy shit! Fucking eggnog?" He kept cumming and she was sure she might actually drown when he pulled his huge cock out of her mouth and pumped it furiously in his hand, spattering her tits and stomach with his glistening load. She'd never seen so much cum in her life. It tingled on her skin. Finally, Santa relaxed, allowing Ginny to put her mouth back around his cock and suck the rest of his cum from him. He was sighing and breathing rather heavily, apparently having enjoyed himself. She eventually released him and smiled up at him wickedly. "So," she cooed, winking while she gently pumped his cock with her hand. "Am I back on the good girl list?" "Oh, I'd think so," he said, grinned. "But it's not like I've given you your whole present yet." "Jeez, you can still go?" she asked almost in disbelief but also delighted. She really needed to be fucked hard now. "Your cock taste like mint, your cum tastes like nog, your ass probably tastes like hot cocoa or nutmeg and you can keep it up all night?" "Up all night is kind of my thing, at least once a year." Santa said cheerfully. "So how would you like for me to give you the rest of your present, Virginia?" "Well, golly, Santa," she mused, making a show of thinking while she stroked his cock. "Since you seem to be the gift that keeps on giving, how about we just wing it?" He nodded and she stood up, keeping hold of his cock and gently led him over to the large chesterfield, hoping it would hold his rather muscular frame. She knelt on it, resting her arms along the raised back and smiled at him, wiggling her behind. She wouldn't believe how wet her cunt was. "You gonna hurry down my chimney, Santa-baby?" she asked, smiling slyly. "I can't believe you just said that!" he laughed jovially. He may not have been older, fatter Santa, but the laugh still definitely suited him. He stepped up behind her and took gentle hold of her hips. She could feel him press against her ass and she shivered in anticipation. He slid his massive cock up and down between her ass cheeks, teasing her until she was writhing in desperation. He seemed to know instinctively what she loved most. Which only made sense, since he was Santa. "Ready, Virginia?" he asked as he pressed the huge mushroom head against her sticky cunt. She nodded eagerly, unwilling to speak. He slid the head in, parting her lips and penetrating her. She groaned loudly as he began to stretch her inner walls. With a slow, steady push of his hips, he pushed the entire length of his cock deep inside her. It robbed her of her breath, she'd never felt so full in her life, even that one time she'd been so horny she'd fucked her parent's bedpost. "Ah; uh;" she gasped, eyes wide. The sensations were like nothing she'd ever experienced. His cock completely filled her to a delightful stretch that didn't hurt except in the good way. His iron shaft throbbed in time with her heartbeat. It was wonderfully warm but also strangely cool all at once, tingling, like mint again. How the hell could her cunt taste peppermint? "Language, Virginia;" he chided again as he pressed in just a little bit further. By right his cockhead should have bruising her brainstem, but there was no doubt some weird physics shit involved that she decided not to think about. She was getting fucked by Santa, after all. She pressed her forehead against the back of the couch and tried squeezing her cunt around his titan cock or pressing back against him, squirming her ass against his hips. She shuddered in delight, loving how he felt inside her. His hands reached under her body and squeezed and massaged her tits, sending delicious thrills through her. He began to move slowly back and forth, pulling back until just the tip was inside her and pushing in steadily, almost robbing her of breath. She began to feel like a blacksmith's bellows very quickly. The feel of his cock sliding inside her, stretching her and touching deep inside in ways she hadn't known were possible; "Oh my god;" she gasped, fingers digging into the back of the couch. "You're tearing me apart and I love it;" "Only the best for my Virginia," he said, his ruddy cheeks taking on a flush tone as he fucked her. Her fingers squeezed the meat of her thighs and hips or flexed on her ass cheeks. His heavy balls slapped against her cunt as he drove inside her. Strong yet gentle, forceful and commanding yet accommodating. She felt dominated yet exalted somehow. His hand wrapped in her hair and she groaned loudly as he pulled on it, craning her neck. She shuddered in pleasure, feeling her spine almost accordion as he thrust inside while pulling her head back. Her could feel the pulse of his cock through her whole body. Her nails scratched along the couch, almost clawing it. "Uh, you're gonna make me cum so fucking hard;" she wailed, feeling the sweat forming on her skin. "Oh my gawd;" "You're going to make me cum hard too," he panted, thrusting deep inside, thumping his hips against her ass. "You feel wonderful and tight, Virginia;" "Oh, God, he's gonna cum in me;" she realized. "Santa's gonna fucking cum in me and he's not wearing anything! Will my birth control work? Shit, will my kids always smell like mint?" "Oh, God, cum in me!" she panted, thrusting herself back against him and grinding shamelessly. "Fucking cum in me, Santa!" "Ya want me to cum in you?" he hissed, his body beginning to tremble. It felt like his cock was getting bigger inside her. "Want my cum in you?" "God, yes!" Ginny squeaked, clenching her teeth. "Fucking cum in me and make me scream!" They strained against one another desperately and then she cried out as a massive orgasm crashed over her. It battered her senses as she felt his hot-yet-tingly-cool cum bathing her insides relentlessly. Her cunt was making greedy sucking sounds as she came, her whole body shuddering almost uncontrollably. She squeezed and clenched and rippled her tight tunnel round him, reveling in the way he stretched and penetrated her ever more deeply. She collapsed against the chesterfield, panting heavily, her body drenched in sweat. His massive, hard cock was still deep inside her, pinning her to him. She felt like she was made of lead, an exquisite exhaustion while pleasure crawled over her languidly. That was beyond anything she had ever experienced. But he didn't seem to be done with her. His powerful hands took hold of Ginny and turned her around so she was squatting on the couch, her knees spread wide and her arms slung across the high back. She looked up at him in weary astonishment as he nestled himself between her legs and pressed his cock against her sopping cunt again. "Ah!" she wailed as he slid deep inside her again, his huge cock splitting her wide. Her nails dug into the couch again and she clenched her teeth as she sucked in her breath. Ginny tried to regulate her breathing while Santa began sliding in and out slowly, looking down at her with those penetrating blue eyes. "Jesus," she grunted, feeling almost like a rag doll in his hands, which gripped her hips. "Gonna fucking kill me with that thing!" "Oh, let's hope not," he replied, thrusting into her strongly. "I'm nowhere near done with you." She gazed up at him, trembling as he fucked her good and hard. She bit her lip as he squeezed her thighs, before moving his hands up to squeeze her tits, pinching her nipples. She groaned shamelessly as the delicious sting electrified her senses. She tried to squeeze herself around him, baffled by how big he felt inside her. She gasped and whimpered as he slapped her cunt lightly. She reached forward and raked her nails over his powerful chest, leaving red marks along the defined muscles. She ground her hips against him wantonly, thrilling to the look of pleasure on this face. "Uh, fuckin' wreck me;" she gasped, feeling another massive climax building inside her. "Make me cum on that beautiful cock, Santa!" "I'll take 'Things Virginia Never Thought She'd Ever Hear Herself Say' for a thousand, Alex!" he laughed. He reached down and took her ass her hands and pulled her closer, smiling warmly yet wickedly into her eyes as she sank further onto his cock, which penetrated her to the deepest depths yet. She could feel the head pressing against her womb. It didn't hurt, but she felt fuller and more stretched than ever. She felt him squeeze her ass cheeks while he thrust into her. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and held on tight, bumping up and down on his powerful thighs. She moaned loudly and bit his shoulder, trying not to shriek. She tried to squeeze herself around him again, finding that she could barely control her muscles, let alone fuck. She bit down as the warmth spread through her, tears of pleasure in her eyes. He thumped his hips against her even more strongly and they strained against one another. Then he growled and released himself, pumping her once again full of his tingling cum. She shuddered and cried out loudly, her head spinning from the unreal ecstasy. Crushing herself to him, Ginny held on desperately, like a ship battered by an unrelenting storm. They both slumped onto the couch, breathing heavily. She felt small and almost cocooned in his embrace. She was covered in a heavy sheen of sweat and could feel the thrilling tingle of his cum trickling out of her cunt. It wouldn't be a stain on her couch, it was a mark of honor. Their hearts pounded in rhythm as the orgasm passed over them and slowly flowed away. "Holy shit;" she whispered, her body still limp in his arms. "I think you've ruined me for sex. I should be mad;" "You have to admit, it makes sense that I'm better at gift-giving than anyone else on the planet." Santa reasoned, smiling and stroking her hair while she sat in his lap. "I'd say you were a little pent up there." "Mild understatement," she moaned, finally raising her head and smiling up at him. "Thank you, first of all. That was the best thing I've ever felt in my life." "I aim to please," he said cheerfully, caressing his thumb across her cheek and enjoying the shining look in her eyes. "Kinda my thing, after all." "So," Ginny purred, walking to fingers up his broad chest. "Is there a Mrs. Claus?" He shrugged. "There has been, of course." She paused suddenly and looked up at him, her smile replaced by a deadpan look. "What do you mean, there has been?" He seemed somewhat confused by her change in demeanor. "Well, there has been a few in the past, of course, there was Seeki first, then there was Ahoop, followed by Annalina, then Layla, Martha, Juliana, Gretchen and Jessica, Santarina, Kasey, Mary;" "I see," she said stonily. "You've had more wives than Elizabeth Taylor had husbands." "Well, to be fair, they've been spread over a long period of time." Santa replied. "And they were all special to me." "So then I'm not special." Ginny said flatly. "Well of course you are," he said, not understanding her mood swing. "You're my Virginia." "And Becky down the street is your Becky, and Sarah in the blue house is your Sarah and Hilda in Dusseldorf is your Hilda," she concluded. "Everyone's equally special to you, aren't they?" He didn't know what to say. "I'm sorry, I'm not being fair," she sighed. "I just; well, I thought maybe this; ya know, tonight, was truly special. And clearly you're not good at lying." "Well, no, not at all." Santa agreed, still holding her and wondering how he could comfort her. "I can't lie." "Like, literally can't?" she asked, now curious more than anything. "It's part of your genetic makeup that you can't lie?" "No, nothing like that," he admitted. "But after spending centuries with kids and teaching them to always tell the truth, I haven't tried telling a lie in so long I don't even know how to do it." "You don't know how to lie?" she mused. "If I did, it wouldn't be the least bit believable," he said. "Like, if I said right now that your breath smells wonderful and not like old eggnog and vomit, I somehow doubt you'd believe my lie." "No shit," Ginny replied, giving him a stony look. "You're a horrible liar. You've got the subtlety of a cement truck. Good thing you're Santa and don't have to date to charm a girl." He held her close, hugging her tight to comfort her. She sighed deeply, still impaled on his hard cock, which showed no sign of abating. "God, I can't believe you've still got wood after cumming like a fire hydrant three times," she said, her mood softening. She was having the best sex of her life, she reminded herself not to ruin it by being crazy. "How long can you keep going?" He shrugged his muscular shoulders. "How long do you need me to?" "Actually, it doesn't surprise me that's your answer." Ginny said, smirking. "If you've got the time, I've got another itch that needs scratching." He grinned. "So you haven't broken in that hot tub yet, have you?" "Oh, Santa;" she purred, leaning in and biting his earlobe. "Like you don't make me wet already." He picked her up and carried her toward the Jacuzzi, deftly turning it on with his foot and bringing it rumbling to life. He stepped down into the churning water, setting her one of the seats. As he stood up, she leaned forward and hungrily took his enormous cock into her mouth, sucking ardently. She moved forward and knelt in the water, her hands on his hips again or stroking his balls. He picked her up bodily and turned her upside. Ginny squeaked in surprise at first but found his hips in front of her and began sucking again on his tool without delay. He buried his face in her cunt, tongue snaking deep inside her and she groaned gutturally, Holding her in place with one powerful hand, her teased her taint and then pressed a finger into her ass. "Jesus!" she gasped, almost choking on his cock as he wormed the finger down into her tight tunnel. "Oh, fuck! Your finger is bigger than some dicks I've fucked!" She attacked his cock again eagerly, bobbing back and forth like her life depended on it. She squirmed in his grip as he lashed her cunt with his tongue and fingered her ass. Her fingernails dug into his thighs and her knees locked around his neck. His cock throbbed in her mouth, still thrilling her with its unique and incredible taste. He turned her around again and paid her on the edge of the hot tub, spreading her legs wide. She looked on wantonly as he pushed his tongue back inside her again. He gripped her thighs to hold her in place and she groaned and squirmed, squeezing her tits and pulling on her nipples. Her breath came in ragged gasps as he drove her to the limit of her sensations. Ginny shook and thrashed as she cried out loudly, cumming on his face. He didn't let up, lapping at her essence eagerly. She lay like a dead thing for several seconds before her chest began to rise and fall. Her eyes opened, gazing back at him. She couldn't feel her limbs, just floating on a tingling ocean of deep colors. Santa looked up at her and smiled, pulling his tongue out of her cunt and kissing her clit gently. She shivered at the touch. "One hole left, Santa," she breathed, her body glistening. "Got any left in you to perfect my Christmas?" "Always for you, Virginia." Santa said warmly, standing and raising her gently into a sitting position. He settled down into the water on one of the seats and then pulled her onto his lap, facing away from him. She moved her hips around until she found his rock-hard cock, waiting for her. She placed her puckered knot against it, giggling as she thought about what he was about to do to her. She took his shaft in her hand and held it steady while she sank down, very slowly. Ginny gasped and shivered as the head pushed aside the tight ring of muscle, popping inside her. Then she sighed as she lowered herself, feeling his massive cock stretching her tight tunnel wide. God, she felt so full it was unreal. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, her ass cheeks pressed to his lap. He was all the way inside her ass and her held her closed as she settled back against him, purring in sensual pleasure. "Umm, it's never felt this good in my ass before," she said softly, her arms reaching back to curl around his neck. She gyrated slowly on his lap, moaning softly. "A gal could get used to this." His muscular arms wrapped around her and caressed Ginny's body, massaging her tits. She loved how she felt pinned to him. She had finally found the measure of her body and began to squeeze her tight ass around his cock. She squirmed in slow circles on his lap, wishing she had some music to fuck him to. Her stereo system suddenly came on and began playing 'It's Cold Outside'. She giggled and squeezed his neck gently at his thoughtfulness. "You think of everything, don't you?" she purred, lost in her pleasure. "I can't wait to make you cum again." He smiled wickedly and pulled gently on her nipples, causing her to groan at the welcome sting. She pressed her ass back into his lap, squeezing again around his throbbing shaft. The water bubbled and churned around her waist, the heat leaving her skin shining. She began to pant as she moved her hips faster, stopping the circular motions and started to move up and down, his cock sliding in and out of her. Santa took hold of her hips and let her bounce on his lap. Ginny leaned forward, gasping as she fondled her tits, overcome with a liquid heat as his cock impaled her faster and faster. Water splashed around them as the fucking took on an almost frantic pace. Ginny had never felt anything in her ass like this before, nothing even close to this good. She could very easily become an addict. "Uh, fuck!" she grunted, slamming her ass down on him while one hand snaked down and began massaging her cunt and clit. His hands steadied her and helped moved her up and down. She could feel his hips trembling beneath her, his fingers flexing and squeezing her skin. Her panting became a long, drawn-out keening. She clenched her teeth, shuddering and straining as she tried to prolong the fucking; Ginny screamed and pushed herself back against his massive chest violently, thrashing as she clenched his cock inside her ass while he came. His cream flooded inside her, the unreal hot-cool tingling transporting her. He growled in her ear, almost crushing her comparatively tiny frame against himself. She collapsed, utterly exhausted, her chest rising and falling as the world spun around her. She felt him holding her gently, caressing her body in unique ways that seemed to; regulate her blood flow and nerve sensations, making the post-orgasmic bliss she was feeling last as long as possible. She felt herself smile and hum at his consideration, understanding this this is who he was and what he was meant to do. Ginny then did something she almost never did during sex, she leaned her head back, pressed her lips to his and kissed him deeply and with great affection. She held it for as long as she could and then sank back into his embrace, sighing in contentment. "Wish you were advertising for a Mrs. Claus at the moment," she said softly. "I could get used to this." "I like things the way they are," he replied, hugging her. "Every year I get to reward you for being a good girl. What could be better than that?" "True, I guess," Ginny agreed. "I'm only human, all this sex could kill me." "Hey, I'm human too, you know," he chuckled. "Just because I'm immeasurably older than you and subject to quantum laws even my smartest elf couldn't explain doesn't mean I'm a member of some other species." "Okay, that's fair, although I'd still fuck you if you were an alien or some extra-dimensional being." Ginny admitted. "You've come in me a lot tonight, daddy. Do I need to” "No," he said cheerfully. "I'm not sterile, but you can't get pregnant unless I decide you will and I've never allowed it." "I wonder what a Santa kid would be like," she mused. "More like you or the mom?" "No idea," he confessed. "There's not exactly a manual, so I've never taken a chance." She slowly leaned forward and began to rise, shivering as she slid off his long cock and it popped out of her. She knelt and turned around to face him, not sure she could stand yet, looking up at his still hard cock and giggled, pressing her finger against the head. "Well, I think you can take him off duty, sir," she said sweetly. "I'm pretty sure that I'm all fucked out for the night, if not the whole season." He chuckled and let his cock soften, looking into her eyes and caressing his cheek. "Hopefully that was what you needed for Christmas." "Definitely, Santa." Ginny said, giggling. "Is it greedy to want the same present again next year?" "Not at all," he replied, grinning. "It cuts down on elf-labor hours if I can give people a gift mysteriously." Santa paused in speaking, going silent and looking around, as if listening for something. Neither of them touched the controls, but the motor for the jets turned off and all that could be heard was the howling roar of the winter storm outside. Ginny looked at him in confusion, wondering why his features hardened and a scowl crossed his normally jovial face. "That's no storm," he said in a low, growling voice. "Not a regular one, anyway." "What does that mean?" she asked, his reaction worrying her for reasons she couldn't readily explain. What the hell was a 'not regular' storm, according to Santa, or anyone else for that matter? He stood up and strode out of the hot tub, taking her by the hand and pulling her out with him. Their naked bodies glistened with water but this was the farthest thing from her mind. "What's going on?" she asked, his consternation beginning to frighten her now. She watched as he tossed her the robe she'd been wearing earlier and then started pulling on his pants and sturdy black boots. "It's just a winter storm! Isn't it?" "I wish that were true," he replied, his expression grim. "Listen to me very carefully, Virginia. I'll need you to follow me instructions precisely. Do you understand?" She nodded. "Okay, but” "Good," he said, cutting her off, his eyes flashing. "It's very important to your safety." "Can you at least tell me what's happening?" she pleaded. "Krampus." Santa muttered darkly as he wrapped bright red straps around his wrists, tightening them. "I should've been more careful." "What's Krampus?" she asked, going pale and she paused in putting on her robe, one of her tits hanging out. "Krampus isn't a what, Krampus is a who," he said, his eyes scanning the layout of her expansive living room. "He's also called Black Pete in some places and legend says he's supposed to be my evil henchman who punishes wicked children." "I take it that's not true, then?" she asked, looking around like he did, wondering what he was searching for. "Not even close," he growled. "Pardon my French, but Krampus is an evil sonofabitch. He was, at one time long ago, my dedicated helper, but he turned down the path of darkness, becoming twisted and diabolic. Forget punishing children, he wants to destroy Christmas, like it never happened." "What's that got to do with us here?" she asked, trying to keep her voice from trembling. "Can he reach us in this storm?" "This storm is his doing, I recognize it now," Santa said, striding over to his huge Christmas bag and beginning to rummage in it. "A massive storm always precedes his arrival. It can be mistaken for a regular winter storm if you're not paying

Miracle On Route 34: Part 1 Ginny gets a wonderful Christmas surprise. Based on a post by BiscuitHammer, in 3 parts. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. Author's Notes: Someone asked me to write a funny and erotic Christmas tale, but since I can't be normal, it is taking on a radical twist that I hope people will find amusing. I've tried to make Santa awesome but also give him some flaws that the ladies will find both charming and irksome all at once. I wasn't going to call it anything lame like 'Here Cums Santa Claus' (in spite of my love of Elvis) so I eventually settled on ripping off a classic and beloved Christmas movie, naming it 'Miracle On Rural Road 34'. Couldn't help myself with the 'Yes, Virginia' quip, of course. As for Superman, Oatmeal and the Easter Bunny, well, get used to more groaners like that, because I like them. Merry ho-ho and keep your stick on the ice! , Management Chapter 1. Ginny Hale sighed forlornly as she sat on her chesterfield in the dim room, the only light provided by the crackling fireplace and some scented candles spread around to make the house smell like gingerbread. She'd made gingerbread cookies earlier, but they were predictably burnt and now her kitchen smelled like a Christmas elf's ass. She took another sip of red wine from her oversized glass, unable to decide who or what to be mad at, the weather, for bringing this god-awful blizzard on Christmas Eve, her so-called friends for ditching her after she'd gone to all this work to put together a nice party, or herself for going crazy and buying this (admittedly nice) chateau way out here in the boondocks. Still relatively new to her negotiator position, Ginny had landed a huge deal for the company she worked for and the payout bonus was one of the biggest ever seen in-house. Though she had an office, she had often worked from her cramped apartment downtown, where a glorious chaos only she understood reigned. But the payout had been large enough for her to purchase a very pretty home in the country, not more than ninety minutes from work. Her boss was so pleased with the deal that he said she only had to come in once a week, to pick up whatever she needed to work on. It had seemed like a great idea at the time, but now she found she was quite lonely. Few people were will to put forth the effort to come out and visit her. In fact, only three had since the summer when she bought it. Hell, even her boy-toy, Chad from Accounting, could not be bothered and was now just fucking Lily in the secretary pool instead. Bing Crosby was singing 'White Christmas' to her while she moped. The big bay windows to her back porch showed the fury of the storm outside. Driving snow had been battering the countryside for two days now and her boss had called her to just stay safe and not try to come into the city. He was a nice old man and she liked him. He'd actually taken a chance and given her the job, after she'd fucked him. She hadn't invited him to her little soiree, because his miserable old bat of a wife was hovering around him constantly these days, certain he'd been tipping on her. But even without Old Man Reese, she'd invited upward of twenty people and none of them had shown. Not even Claire, her best supposed friend, had made it out. She was probably too busy being pinned and screwed by her boyfriend anyway, Guido or Nunzio or whatever his name was. Dean Martin came on, singing 'Marshmallow World'. Normally this was one of her favorites, but tonight it just reminded her that she was alone for Christmas. Again. With another sigh, she drank the rest of the wine in her glass and reached for the bottle, turning it over. It was empty. Damn. She'd have to open another one. She walked slowly into the kitchen, wearing her ratty old fox-themed footie pajamas, having decided that if she didn't have to dress up for anyone, she was dressing at all. She took a deep drink of spiked egg nog from the jug of it she'd prepared while she found another bottle of zinfandel and burped very loudly. She wrestled the cork off of the bottle and poured most of the contents into her oversized glass, muttering that she didn't have to answer to anyone about what she did, she was a big girl. She slumped back down on the couch while John Lennon asked her what she'd done for Christmas from the stereo system. "Up yours, John;" she said testily as she drank more wine. She stood unsteadily, blinking for a moment to try and clear her head. She might have had a bit of a wine fog going on, since she'd nearly polished off two bottles of Old Vine Zinfandel in under two hours. Convincing herself that walking was not a bad idea, she tottered over to the bay windows, reaching a hand out in front of herself to make sure it encountered the glass before her face did. "Will you look at that shit out there;" she muttered to no one in particular. After all, there was no one around to hear her. Well, almost no one. "Hi, Oatmeal," she said sweetly, grinning lopsidedly at the bearded dragon that sat in a terrarium near the bay doors. "Looks like you're my Christmas date; again;" The tiny lizard said nothing but assumed a darker shade of purplish brown. "Same to you too, bugface." Ginny muttered sourly, annoyed at being spurned by a reptile with a brain smaller than a sugared peanut. She lumbered back to the kitchen, trying unsuccessfully to eat several pieces of the Turkish Delight she'd tried to make, but they were sticky and runny, most of the reddish-pink mess ending up stuck to the front of her pajamas. "Son of a fucking reindeer!" she spat, attempting to remove the pajamas, her sticky fingers having trouble with the zipper. She finally kicked the thing off and left it in a corner of the kitchen, now wearing nothing except her panties and a halter top. She stomped back into the spacious living room, thoroughly annoyed. While the music played, she looked around for something to do, taking another pull from the egg nog jug she'd brought with her. The hot tub. It sat near the bay windows, set into the floor and was large enough for five or six people. She'd been hoping that maybe a few people of the dozens she'd invited would show and maybe they could have a fun pool party. She'd even told everyone in the invitations to bring their swimsuits. But of course, no one showed. She was beginning to suspect she could live in Buckingham Fucking Palace and still no one would come to see her. This was, literally, the fifth Christmas she'd spent by herself. The timing for friends never worked out and her parents were always off in Monaco or some such place, avoiding the weather. Her mom had already called earlier that night, so she wouldn't hear any more from them for a few days now. She sighed yet again and pulled off her underthings, stepping into the water. She was drunker than she wanted to admit, though, missing her footing, squealing and tumbling into the tub with a splash. Ginny came to the surface, sputtering and hissing in outrage. Why couldn't anything work out? Oatmeal just stared at her impassively. "You win this time, gravity;" she growled, displeased with her inelegant entrance. Well, at least she'd been smart enough to put down the jug of nog before trying to get in. She turned on the jets and retrieved her beverage, taking another big pull as the tub rumbled to life. Ginny laid back her head against one of the padded rests and tried to relax, to let her frustrations go. She turned on the jets and allowed one to massage her lower back while sipping at a glass of wine. She tried to put the frustrations of the holiday behind her, to let go of the feelings of rejection and somehow not belonging. "Why did I but this new fucking home if no one was interested in visiting? Everyone said they thought it was so great, but months later, still no visitors. Do I really not matter that much?" It annoyed her to think not only that she was alone, but that doubtless most of the people who had ditched her were at home getting laid. Claire was doubtless face down and ass up on her bed, getting plowed from behind by Guido. Even Mr. Reese, the old geezer, was probably getting some, either from his wife or maybe one of his secretaries. She sighed heavily and sat up, putting her now-empty wine glass aside and deciding that just because she was alone on Christmas Eve didn't mean she wasn't owed at least one good orgasm. She leaned forward and rested her forearms on the padded edge of the hot tub, positioning herself so that one of her jets, the one she'd named 'Juan', was right behind her. She felt the flow of water begin to caress her and she rested her head on her forearms as she wiggled further back, feeling the jet more strongly now as it pushed against her ass and her cunt. With a sigh, she found the perfect distance and pressed her face down into her arms, letting Juan work his magic. Water pressure massaged her cunt lips, strong enough to part them and to tease her clit, sending thrills through her. She shuddered and sighed loudly, forgetting, for now, how much men sucked. She bit the knuckle of her index finger, lost in reverie. God, if only it were a man fucking her. "Alone; on fucking Christmas; where's, ah!, where's the justice in that?" She was sweating now and panting as the relentless jets battered her nether tinglies, the sensations overwhelming her steadily. She clenched her teeth and her fists, straining as she fought to hold on a little longer. She moaned very loudly, her whole body shaking as Juan delivered a wonderful orgasm. She panted and groaned shamelessly, knowing that no one was around to see her in her pent-up, frustrated lust, expending it on her Jacuzzi jets. The scintillating lights behind her eyes, however, were over all too quickly and the climax subsided, replaced by a juddering sensitivity that made Juan's caress too much to bear. She collapsed against the edge of the hot tub, moving her ass away from the jet. "Alone; again;" She may have needed the orgasm, but it did nothing to improve her mood. It didn't help that the song 'This Christmas' by Shoes had begun playing as the cumming ended. When it finally felt like her legs would work again, she turned around and slumped into a corner of the tub, as far from Juan as possible. Ginny stayed still for some time, until her feet and fingers felt that annoying level of pruny that made everything awful to touch. With the heat of the water and all the alcohol she'd drunk, she was feeling rather light-headed, so she turned off the stereo and shut off the lights. She found a plate of her fucked-up and burnt gingerbread cookies and left them on a table near the fireplace along with the jug of nog before beginning to head upstairs to bed. "Yeah. Fuck this day. And fuck tomorrow too. Maybe if I stay drunk enough it'll just fly by. Fuck Christmas." The second floor was an open space in the middle, looking down onto the main floor. A set of stairs led up on either side and the bedrooms were spaced around the gallery. She'd loved the design when she bought it, but this only increased her frustration when no one ever came to visit. "Gorgeous fucking house; ten acres of beautiful nature filled with deer and ugly-ass wild turkeys; a fucking pond people could skate on; shit, I even found a patch of landrace back there! What's not to love about my new home? Why aren't people shitting themselves in jealousy?" She reached the master bedroom, sighing at how big it felt since she had no one to share it with. She stood in front of the mirror, looking at her naked body and sighing. She was trim and fit, with nicely-sized boobs, she kept her cunt shaved smooth and her full lips were simply made to suck cock. Her skin was fair and even and her dark brown hair was long enough to pull on if you were fucking her ass or taking her from behind. So what the hell was wrong? The bed was certainly big enough for two (or maybe her and two guys who didn't mind getting close), but she plunked herself down into it and stared at the ceiling, waiting for the room to stop drunk-spinning. It took longer than she wanted it to, but things finally slowed down an she breathed deeply. She reached over with her hand and fumbled around inside the drawer of the nightstand. She finally withdrew an elegant glass dildo, a barely opaque white with bright red stripes curling around it to simulate a candy cane. It had been a Christmas gift from Claire, who had jokingly given it to her until she found a man for herself. That bitch. "Well, Frosty," she sighed, examining him. "Looks like it's you and me tomorrow. I promise to not get out of bed except to go to the bathroom or get more booze, okay? Because I'm here for you;" And with that she kissed the dildo and put it aside. She turned out her lamp and sighed deeply as she lay in the dark, waiting for sleep to take her. "Fuck Christmas;" A noise from downstairs. Her eyes snapped open. She was sure she'd heard something. Her heart pounded in her chest. She took deep breaths to try and calm herself, reasoning that she'd been drunk and it might just be hangover noises. Maybe just something like branches scraping on the roof or across the walls? Ginny felt a flush of anger and slowly rose, getting out of bed and putting on a plush yellow robe. There were definitely sounds downstairs. She grabbed her rape whistle and her high-school field hockey stick off the wall before quietly opening the door and proceeding out of the room. Her cheeks flushed with fear and anger. How dare someone invade her house? And in this fucking weather! "Burglars? Ruffians? Escaped cons?" "Well, at least if they see you they might have their way with you and break your dry spell." She shook the vile notion from her head, wondering where the hell that'd come from. Could she be that desperate to get laid? Ginny walked as quietly as she could, hearing noises on the roof. Raccoons? Looking to get in from the cold? Fucking trash pandas. She rounded the corner of the gallery and put her foot on the top step, her hockey stick ready. She crept down the stairs, still hearing the noises. They seemed to be coming from her living room. Her eyes narrowed as she tried to identify anything that might be amiss. Then she saw him, a symphony of red trimmed in white, the huge ass swaying back and forth as the intruder was bent over her at the base of her Christmas tree, doing God only knows what to it. He seemed to be humming to himself. She walked up silently until she was maybe ten feet away from him, her hockey stick over her shoulder, ready to swing. He didn't hear her or took no notice of her. "I don't want to hurt you," she growled through clenched teeth. "But you'd best get the fuck out of my house or I'll hit you so hard Google won't be able to find you." The person in red paused in their activities and then stood up slowly. After another moment's pause, they stood up and turned around slowly. He was slightly taller than average and quite a bit fatter than societal norms allowed. He had a fat face with dancing blue eyes and red cheeks. Beneath the tapered red hat was long, silvery-white hair and a very full beard and moustache. The intruder looked at her and grinned. "Shouldn't you be in bed?" he asked with a voice that could only be described as jolly. Ginny said nothing. She seemed to be rooted to the spot. She wanted to say something, anything, but she seemed to have been robbed of the power of speech. "W, who;" she finally managed to stammer. "Yes, Virginia," the visitor said quietly but pleasantly in a soothing voice. "There really is a Santa Claus." She blinked and shook her head, trying to articulate a coherent thought. The big man in red chuckled, clearly amused by her predicament. "Your egg nog was very good," he mentioned as he walked forward a little. "Your cookies needed a little work, but I appreciate the effort. Maybe a cookbook next year?" "Stay still!" she snapped, suddenly coming out of her stupor and holding the hockey stick behind her head as if she was winding up for a hit. "I'll deck you, old man!" "Oh, there's no need for that," he said cheerfully, totally unconcerned by her threat. "It's been a rough year for you, hasn't it, Ginny?" "Why do you know my name?" she asked, her eyes narrowing in suspicion. "Of course I know it," the man claiming to be Santa said jovially. "I'd be pretty lousy at my job if I didn't, right?" "If you're really Santa," she said tightly, still not understanding why she hadn't knocked this guy's head off his shoulders yet. "Then what was I doing the night of October seventeenth last year?" He tilted his head to the side a little and pursed his lips. "Are you sure?" "C'mon, you haven't got all day." "Very well," he said, sighing. "You were sitting in McPhearson's Pub, waiting vainly for Greg from IT to show up, because you'd given him a blowjob in the bathroom earlier that day and promised him more. But he went off with Becky from Accounts that night instead of meeting up with you." She blushed furiously at the memory. "I; that wasn't the day I meant! I meant the sixteenth!" He shrugged. "You had the day off and were really frustrated. You slid a condom over that very field hockey stick and used it on yourself, just to see what it was like." Ginny dropped the stick very suddenly. "How the hell do you know that, you perv?" The man shrugged. "I know all about you, Ginny. And every other boy and girl in the world" "Don't give me that horseshit!" she hissed, glaring at him. "I had too many Christmases where I didn't get what I want to buy into that cockamamie story!" "Well, you weren't exactly the most exemplary child, were you?" he reasoned. "I mean, you weren't horrible, it's not like you were out kicking puppies into woodchippers, but you spent more time in the naughty column that the good column, didn't you?" "What did I ever do that was so naughty?" she demanded hotly, her fists bunched up at her sides. "You and your brother could get rather friendly, couldn't you?" the man calling himself Santa pointed out. She faltered for a moment. "Lots of siblings play doctor. And those atomic booty bombs where I kept jumping in the air and landing on him were just playful." "While naked?" Santa asked, raising a bushy white eyebrow. Ginny blushed. "But that wasn't what landed you on the naughty list," he added. "What got you blacklisted was that you lied about doing your homework or cleaning your room while you were messing around with your brother. Your mom and dad would ask you to do your math and you'd slip away to play doctor instead and tell them you'd finished your homework after. Lying is naughty, right?" "Woah, hold the phone here," she said loudly, holding her head as if she was suddenly dizzy from a revelation. She didn't seem to notice that her robe had opened slightly, exposing her cleavage. "Are you fucking kidding me? Fibbing to my parents kept me from getting the gifts I wanted?" "Were the rules unclear?" Santa asked. "I thought the songs on the subject were so easy to follow." Ginny pinched her eyes in exasperation and then scowled at him. "I'm drunk," she concluded, trying to convince herself none of this was real. "I'm drunker than Sarah Palin and you're not really here. I'm still in bed and this is all bullshit." Santa shrugged. "I was putting stuff under your tree until you arrived and enjoying the nog. I won't mind if you go back to bed." "No, you're not getting off that easily," she said in annoyance. "You broke into my house in the middle of the storm of the fucking century and I want answers, dammit!" He shrugged. "Fair enough. Ask away." Her eyes narrowed again. "Aren't you on kind of a time crunch? Unless I'm the last person on your delivery list, don't you still have a shit ton of houses to visit? Say, a few hundred million?" He waved it off. "I've got it covered, I promise. I have all the time in the world for you, Ginny. I always have." "What, so you sub-contract out?" she said snidely. "Got FedEx making the rounds for you? Or maybe your 'Elves'?" She mentioned the last bit with air quotes. "Goodness, this has been a bad year for you, hasn't it?" he said sympathetically. "But to answer your question, I am capable of being many places at once." "Oh, so now you're the Kwizatz-Haderach?" she asked archly. "Hey, it's not just cinnamon I put in my Christmas cider." Santa chuckled. "It's rather complicated to explain." "So do you, like, clone yourself?" she asked, her guard seeming to slowly come down. "No, not at all," he said, shaking his head. "It involves Cherenkov Radiation, a Holmes field, a Gellar field and, to quote a friend of mine, 'a lot of wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey; stuff.'" "So it's some sort of deep quantum shit?" she asked, her body finally relaxing. He nodded, smiling. "Yes, it's very temporal and quantum. I can be many places at once. It's why I don't have to pay for billions in window repairs every year by going supersonic around the world." "So even while you're talking to me, you're delivering presents?" she asked, the sheer depth of the conversation hitting her now. She walked over to a stool and sat on it. "Like I said, it's difficult to explain without breaking out the chalkboard and calculator," he answered. "The magnetic lines between the poles help, especially the one that emanates from the Fortress of Solitude." Ginny blinked. "Fortress of Solitude? As in Superman? You're friends with Superman?" "Of course not!" the jolly man laughed. "There's no such thing as Superman, silly, he's a comic book character. Had you going, though." "Holy shit, Santa's a troll," she exclaimed, looking at him in bewilderment. "Well, okay, let's assume that this is all real and not a vivid hallucination resulting from a brain tumor. If I've been such a brat all these years, how do I make up for it? How do I get off the naughty girl list?" "Well, a little restraint would be a start," Santa suggested. "I'm not saying go out and become a Carthusian nun or a Buddhist priestess or anything, but you might try laying off the rampant promiscuity." "Why is that so bad?" she demanded. "What's so wrong with wanting to get banged?" "Nothing," he said simply. "But inevitably you get yourself into some kind of weird situation and end up lying your behind off and lying is a naughty thing to do. So try keeping your legs bolted together a little more." "Really;" she said, clearly not impressed. "Celibacy lessons from Santa Claus. Now I've heard everything." "According to my report here and speaking frankly, it's taken guys a lot less attractive than me a lot less effort to get you out of your clothes." Santa mentioned. "This coming from a guy who could clearly use a few P90-X sessions!" she shot back hotly, standing up, her robe opening further as she stomped toward him. He looked down at himself for a moment and guffawed. "Oh, right, I keep forgetting about that; hang on;" The man held his hands out to his sides and began to glow. The luminous display lit up the room progressively and Ginny held her hand in front of her face when it became too bright to look at for several seconds. When the light finally died away, leaving them once again in the softly lit living room, Ginny gaped in shock at what she saw. He was tall, powerfully built, with chiseled muscles, an eight pack and flawless, healthy skin. He'd removed his coat but the red pants remained, stretched tight over muscular thighs. Long, wavy, copper-colored hair fell past his shoulders and the full beard was reddish-gold. The sapphire-blue eyes stared down at her, still glittering with mirth. "Holy Jesus on a pogo stick;" she breathed, her voice little more than a whisper. "You're a total lumbersexual;" "This is what I really look like," he said, spreading his hands out to the sides and showing her his body. His chest rippled as the muscles flexed with the motion. "But kids react to the fat old man disguise better." "I'll bet mothers don't," she murmured, coming forward as if compelled and reaching out to touch his chest and washboard abs. "It's like you're Photo-shopped." He smiled as her hands caressed his abs. "You make me want to not get off the naughty list." "I think I know what you really want for Christmas;" he said slyly. Ginny paused and looked up at him in disbelief. "Are you kidding?" "No, I can't lie." the man in red pants replied. "I thought it was Superman who couldn't lie." "Well, the writers had to get that idea from somewhere, I guess." Santa mused. "In any event, if you want, you could end up on the good girl list by being rather naughty." She stared at him. "So; get laid by Santa for Christmas?" He shrugged. "There might be some other goodies in the bag for you, but I think we both know what Ginny really wants and needs for Christmas." "This is crazy, this is crazy, this is crazy!" she thought to herself, wrestling with her sensibilities. "If this is all just a dream, then I can fuck hunky Santa and have no regrets. If this is real, I can fuck sexy Santa and remember it in the morning! It's win-win!" "Well, this is super-easy," she declared. "Santa, I want you to fuck my brains out for Christmas." "With pleasure, Ginny!" he said, laughing merrily. "Whatever you like, however you want it. I have to keep the kiddies happy." "Good, but just don't say 'kiddies' anymore, because that's kinda creepy," she said, throwing her caution to the wind. She knelt down in front of him, putting her hands on the oversized silver belt buckle and undoing it. Letting it drop, she put her fingers on the front of his pants, caressing them over the crotch. Her mouth went dry. "That'd better not be a secondary present sack you're teasing me with;" Ginny hooked her fingers into the top of the velvety pants and pulled them down, revealing his cock. She drew in her breath slowly, her eyes widening. "Jesus," she muttered. "You're hung like a fat kid's Christmas stocking;" "Thanks, I make due." Santa said cheerfully, watching her admire his cock. "By the way, shouldn't I call you something else?" she asked, looking up at him while her hand reached up to take his huge shaft, wrapping around it, barely. "I mean, most people call you Santa Claus, but isn't your name Nick or Kris or something?" He shrugged again, grinning. "Nick, Kris, Klaus, Pelznickel, Joulupukki, Kanakaloka, Dun Che Lao Ren, Weihnachtsmann, Swiety Mikolaj, Hoteiosho, Jultomten, I don't mind, Ginny. I just like hearing you say my name the way you think of me." "Hmm, Santa;" she replied, smiling as she stroked her hand along his shaft, eyeing it hungrily. How the hell was she going to fit that all in her mouth, forget her aching cunt? "Ah, don't use that word," he chided, holding up a finger. "Some words are still naughty, even when you're an adult." "Stay out of my mind then, creeper." Ginny said as she leaned forward and swirled her tongue around the fat head of his cock. She flicked it around the tip and then slowly took it inside her mouth, tongue rolling against it. "The hell? How can his cock taste like mint?" "Just wait til you taste my cum." Santa said, leering. "Fine, but it better not taste like turkey gravy or we're gonna box." Ginny said as she pulled her mouth back for a moment. She pumped her hand gently along the shaft, studying her quarry intently. It was definitely the biggest cock she'd ever taken on, and the best-tasting. She'd been experiencing trippy magic all evening, maybe she could fit this monster in her mouth this one night; She put the head back in her mouth and relaxed, slowly pushing down the shaft. She moaned as she felt him slide to the back of her mouth and then to her throat. She felt him tremble and lay a huge but gentle hand on the back of her head. "Holy shit; I'm deep-throating Santa Claus;" Ginny took a deep breath through her nose and then tried to relax. Her whole body was tingling with excitement and the whole minty cock thing was throwing her off. Her tongue undulated along the underside of his shaft while the fingers of one hand formed a ring around the base of his cock and the other cupped his balls, fondling them. Ginny was proud of her cocksucking skills and if there was anyone she ever needed to impress with them (aside from her 11th Grade math teacher), it was probably Santa. She calmed herself and began pulling her mouth back along his length, humming and letting her lips vibrate softly on his sensitive skin. "Now I know why Mister Bondi gave you that A in math," Santa chuckled. "You're a very naughty girl, Virginia." "Hmm, only for you, Santa baby;" she cooed as she pulled her mouth off his cock long enough to respond, stroking slowly and swirling her tongue around the head again. She then slid back down the entire length, moaning in pleasure. She could feel her nipples getting hard and her cunt was very, very wet beneath her robe. Both his hands were on the back of her head now and holding her gently but firmly. She began to slowly bob back and forth, thrilled at how she was able to take this enormous beast of a cock all the way in her mouth. Sure, maybe there was some weird physics involved that compressed space and time or some shit, but she didn't care and he certainly didn't seem to mind. "Hmm, very good, Virginia;" he said softly, stroking her hair. No one ever called her Virginia and she didn't know why it gave her a tingle when he did. His cock was very full and very hard now, like a pulsing iron rod covered in mint-flavored velvet. She almost giggled at the thought of how crazy this all was. She really hoped it wasn't a dream. Her thumb began to squeeze along the underside of his cock as her hand followed her mouth up and down his length. The shaft glistened wetly and the mint was making her drool. She undid her robe and let it fall away, the air of the room kissing her flushed skin. Her hands now took hold of his powerful thighs and she began moving back and forth along his cock more quickly. She could feel his hands flexing in her long, dark hair, caressing her skin. Breathing through her nose, she moaned as she sucked ardently, her cunt almost aching with desire. She was hoping he would last long enough to fuck her when he went rigid suddenly and groaned, gripping her head tightly and his hips shuddering. Ginny's eyes widened as she felt him began to cum inside her mouth, spurting strongly. She began swallowing hastily, almost in a panic as Santa pumped his hips against her face. "Holy shit! Fucking eggnog?" He kept cumming and she was sure she might actually drown when he pulled his huge cock out of her mouth and pumped it furiously in his hand, spattering her tits and stomach with his glistening load. She'd never seen so much cum in her life. It tingled on her skin. Finally, Santa relaxed, allowing Ginny to put her mouth back around his cock and suck the rest of his cum from him. He was sighing and breathing rather heavily, apparently having enjoyed himself. She eventually released him and smiled up at him wickedly. "So," she cooed, winking while she gently pumped his cock with her hand. "Am I back on the good girl list?" "Oh, I'd think so," he said, grinned. "But it's not like I've given you your whole present yet." "Jeez, you can still go?" she asked almost in disbelief but also delighted. She really needed to be fucked hard now. "Your cock taste like mint, your cum tastes like nog, your ass probably tastes like hot cocoa or nutmeg and you can keep it up all night?" "Up all night is kind of my thing, at least once a year." Santa said cheerfully. "So how would you like for me to give you the rest of your present, Virginia?" "Well, golly, Santa," she mused, making a show of thinking while she stroked his cock. "Since you seem to be the gift that keeps on giving, how about we just wing it?" He nodded and she stood up, keeping hold of his cock and gently led him over to the large chesterfield, hoping it would hold his rather muscular frame. She knelt on it, resting her arms along the raised back and smiled at him, wiggling her behind. She wouldn't believe how wet her cunt was. "You gonna hurry down my chimney, Santa-baby?" she asked, smiling slyly. "I can't believe you just said that!" he laughed jovially. He may not have been older, fatter Santa, but the laugh still definitely suited him. He stepped up behind her and took gentle hold of her hips. She could feel him press against her ass and she shivered in anticipation. He slid his massive cock up and down between her ass cheeks, teasing her until she was writhing in desperation. He seemed to know instinctively what she loved most. Which only made sense, since he was Santa. "Ready, Virginia?" he asked as he pressed the huge mushroom head against her sticky cunt. She nodded eagerly, unwilling to speak. He slid the head in, parting her lips and penetrating her. She groaned loudly as he began to stretch her inner walls. With a slow, steady push of his hips, he pushed the entire length of his cock deep inside her. It robbed her of her breath, she'd never felt so full in her life, even that one time she'd been so horny she'd fucked her parent's bedpost. "Ah; uh;" she gasped, eyes wide. The sensations were like nothing she'd ever experienced. His cock completely filled her to a delightful stretch that didn't hurt except in the good way. His iron shaft throbbed in time with her heartbeat. It was wonderfully warm but also strangely cool all at once, tingling, like mint again. How the hell could her cunt taste peppermint? "Language, Virginia;" he chided again as he pressed in just a little bit further. By right his cockhead should have bruising her brainstem, but there was no doubt some weird physics shit involved that she decided not to think about. She was getting fucked by Santa, after all. She pressed her forehead against the back of the couch and tried squeezing her cunt around his titan cock or pressing back against him, squirming her ass against his hips. She shuddered in delight, loving how he felt inside her. His hands reached under her body and squeezed and massaged her tits, sending delicious thrills through her. He began to move slowly back and forth, pulling back until just the tip was inside her and pushing in steadily, almost robbing her of breath. She began to feel like a blacksmith's bellows very quickly. The feel of his cock sliding inside her, stretching her and touching deep inside in ways she hadn't known were possible; "Oh my god;" she gasped, fingers digging into the back of the couch. "You're tearing me apart and I love it;" "Only the best for my Virginia," he said, his ruddy cheeks taking on a flush tone as he fucked her. Her fingers squeezed the meat of her thighs and hips or flexed on her ass cheeks. His heavy balls slapped against her cunt as he drove inside her. Strong yet gentle, forceful and commanding yet accommodating. She felt dominated yet exalted somehow. His hand wrapped in her hair and she groaned loudly as he pulled on it, craning her neck. She shuddered in pleasure, feeling her spine almost accordion as he thrust inside while pulling her head back. Her could feel the pulse of his cock through her whole body. Her nails scratched along the couch, almost clawing it. "Uh, you're gonna make me cum so fucking hard;" she wailed, feeling the sweat forming on her skin. "Oh my gawd;" "You're going to make me cum hard too," he panted, thrusting deep inside, thumping his hips against her ass. "You feel wonderful and tight, Virginia;" "Oh, God, he's gonna cum in me;" she realized. "Santa's gonna fucking cum in me and he's not wearing anything! Will my birth control work? Shit, will my kids always smell like mint?" "Oh, God, cum in me!" she panted, thrusting herself back against him and grinding shamelessly. "Fucking cum in me, Santa!" "Ya want me to cum in you?" he hissed, his body beginning to tremble. It felt like his cock was getting bigger inside her. "Want my cum in you?" "God, yes!" Ginny squeaked, clenching her teeth. "Fucking cum in me and make me scream!" They strained against one another desperately and then she cried out as a massive orgasm crashed over her. It battered her senses as she felt his hot-yet-tingly-cool cum bathing her insides relentlessly. Her cunt was making greedy sucking sounds as she came, her whole body shuddering almost uncontrollably. She squeezed and clenched and rippled her tight tunnel round him, reveling in the way he stretched and penetrated her ever more deeply. She collapsed against the chesterfield, panting heavily, her body drenched in sweat. His massive, hard cock was still deep inside her, pinning her to him. She felt like she was made of lead, an exquisite exhaustion while pleasure crawled over her languidly. That was beyond anything she had ever experienced. But he didn't seem to be done with her. His powerful hands took hold of Ginny and turned her around so she was squatting on the couch, her knees spread wide and her arms slung across the high back. She looked up at him in weary astonishment as he nestled himself between her legs and pressed his cock against her sopping cunt again. "Ah!" she wailed as he slid deep inside her again, his huge cock splitting her wide. Her nails dug into the couch again and she clenched her teeth as she sucked in her breath. Ginny tried to regulate her breathing while Santa began sliding in and out slowly, looking down at her with those penetrating blue eyes. "Jesus," she grunted, feeling almost like a rag doll in his hands, which gripped her hips. "Gonna fucking kill me with that thing!" "Oh, let's hope not," he replied, thrusting into her strongly. "I'm nowhere near done with you." She gazed up at him, trembling as he fucked her good and hard. She bit her lip as he squeezed her thighs, before moving his hands up to squeeze her tits, pinching her nipples. She groaned shamelessly as the delicious sting electrified her senses. She tried to squeeze herself around him, baffled by how big he felt inside her. She gasped and whimpered as he slapped her cunt lightly. She reached forward and raked her nails over his powerful chest, leaving red marks along the defined muscles. She ground her hips against him wantonly, thrilling to the look of pleasure on this face. "Uh, fuckin' wreck me;" she gasped, feeling another massive climax building inside her. "Make me cum on that beautiful cock, Santa!" "I'll take 'Things Virginia Never Thought She'd Ever Hear Herself Say' for a thousand, Alex!" he laughed. He reached down and took her ass her hands and pulled her closer, smiling warmly yet wickedly into her eyes as she sank further onto his cock, which penetrated her to the deepest depths yet. She could feel the head pressing against her womb. It didn't hurt, but she felt fuller and more stretched than ever. She felt him squeeze her ass cheeks while he thrust into her. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and held on tight, bumping up and down on his powerful thighs. She moaned loudly and bit his shoulder, trying not to shriek. She tried to squeeze herself around him again, finding that she could barely control her muscles, let alone fuck. She bit down as the warmth spread through her, tears of pleasure in her eyes. He thumped his hips against her even more strongly and they strained against one another. Then he growled and released himself, pumping her once again full of his tingling cum. She shuddered and cried out loudly, her head spinning from the unreal ecstasy. Crushing herself to him, Ginny held on desperately, like a ship battered by an unrelenting storm. They both slumped onto the couch, breathing heavily. She felt small and almost cocooned in his embrace. She was covered in a heavy sheen of sweat and could feel the thrilling tingle of his cum trickling out of her cunt. It wouldn't be a stain on her couch, it was a mark of honor. Their hearts pounded in rhythm as the orgasm passed over them and slowly flowed away. "Holy shit;" she whispered, her body still limp in his arms. "I think you've ruined me for sex. I should be mad;" "You have to admit, it makes sense that I'm better at gift-giving than anyone else on the planet." Santa reasoned, smiling and stroking her hair while she sat in his lap. "I'd say you were a little pent up there." "Mild understatement," she moaned, finally raising her head and smiling up at him. "Thank you, first of all. That was the best thing I've ever felt in my life." "I aim to please," he said cheerfully, caressing his thumb across her cheek and enjoying the shining look in her eyes. "Kinda my thing, after all." "So," Ginny purred, walking to fingers up his broad chest. "Is there a Mrs. Claus?" He shrugged. "There has been, of course." She paused suddenly and looked up at him, her smile replaced by a deadpan look. "What do you mean, there has been?" He seemed somewhat confused by her change in demeanor. "Well, there has been a few in the past, of course, there was Seeki first, then there was Ahoop, followed by Annalina, then Layla, Martha, Juliana, Gretchen and Jessica, Santarina, Kasey, Mary;" "I see," she said stonily. "You've had more wives than Elizabeth Taylor had husbands." "Well, to be fair, they've been spread over a long period of time." Santa replied. "And they were all special to me." "So then I'm not special." Ginny said flatly. "Well of course you are," he said, not understanding her mood swing. "You're my Virginia." "And Becky down the street is your Becky, and Sarah in the blue house is your Sarah and Hilda in Dusseldorf is your Hilda," she concluded. "Everyone's equally special to you, aren't they?" He didn't know what to say. "I'm sorry, I'm not being fair," she sighed. "I just; well, I thought maybe this; ya know, tonight, was truly special. And clearly you're not good at lying." "Well, no, not at all." Santa agreed, still holding her and wondering how he could comfort her. "I can't lie." "Like, literally can't?" she asked, now curious more than anything. "It's part of your genetic makeup that you can't lie?" "No, nothing like that," he admitted. "But after spending centuries with kids and teaching them to always tell the truth, I haven't tried telling a lie in so long I don't even know how to do it." "You don't know how to lie?" she mused. "If I did, it wouldn't be the least bit believable," he said. "Like, if I said right now that your breath smells wonderful and not like old eggnog and vomit, I somehow doubt you'd believe my lie." "No shit," Ginny replied, giving him a stony look. "You're a horrible liar. You've got the subtlety of a cement truck. Good thing you're Santa and don't have to date to charm a girl." He held her close, hugging her tight to comfort her. She sighed deeply, still impaled on his hard cock, which showed no sign of abating. "God, I can't believe you've still got wood after cumming like a fire hydrant three times," she said, her mood softening. She was having the best sex of her life, she reminded herself not to ruin it by being crazy. "How long can you keep going?" He shrugged his muscular shoulders. "How long do you need me to?" "Actually, it doesn't surprise me that's your answer." Ginny said, smirking. "If you've got the time, I've got another itch that needs scratching." He grinned. "So you haven't broken in that hot tub yet, have you?" "Oh, Santa;" she purred, leaning in and biting his earlobe. "Like you don't make me wet already." He picked her up and carried her toward the Jacuzzi, deftly turning it on with his foot and bringing it rumbling to life. He stepped down into the churning water, setting her one of the seats. As he stood up, she leaned forward and hungrily took his enormous cock into her mouth, sucking ardently. She moved forward and knelt in the water, her hands on his hips again or stroking his balls. He picked her up bodily and turned her upside. Ginny squeaked in surprise at first but found his hips in front of her and began sucking again on his tool without delay. He buried his face in her cunt, tongue snaking deep inside her and she groaned gutturally, Holding her in place with one powerful hand, her teased her taint and then pressed a finger into her ass. "Jesus!" she gasped, almost choking on his cock as he wormed the finger down into her tight tunnel. "Oh, fuck! Your finger is bigger than some dicks I've fucked!" She attacked his cock again eagerly, bobbing back and forth like her life depended on it. She squirmed in his grip as he lashed her cunt with his tongue and fingered her ass. Her fingernails dug into his thighs and her knees locked around his neck. His cock throbbed in her mouth, still thrilling her with its unique and incredible taste. He turned her around again and paid her on the edge of the hot tub, spreading her legs wide. She looked on wantonly as he pushed his tongue back inside her again. He gripped her thighs to hold her in place and she groaned and squirmed, squeezing her tits and pulling on her nipples. Her breath came in ragged gasps as he drove her to the limit of her sensations. Ginny shook and thrashed as she cried out loudly, cumming on his face. He didn't let up, lapping at her essence eagerly. She lay like a dead thing for several seconds before her chest began to rise and fall. Her eyes opened, gazing back at him. She couldn't feel her limbs, just floating on a tingling ocean of deep colors. Santa looked up at her and smiled, pulling his tongue out of her cunt and kissing her clit gently. She shivered at the touch. "One hole left, Santa," she breathed, her body glistening. "Got any left in you to perfect my Christmas?" "Always for you, Virginia." Santa said warmly, standing and raising her gently into a sitting position. He settled down into the water on one of the seats and then pulled her onto his lap, facing away from him. She moved her hips around until she found his rock-hard cock, waiting for her. She placed her puckered knot against it, giggling as she thought about what he was about to do to her. She took his shaft in her hand and held it steady while she sank down, very slowly. Ginny gasped and shivered as the head pushed aside the tight ring of muscle, popping inside her. Then she sighed as she lowered herself, feeling his massive cock stretching her tight tunnel wide. God, she felt so full it was unreal. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, her ass cheeks pressed to his lap. He was all the way inside her ass and her held her closed as she settled back against him, purring in sensual pleasure. "Umm, it's never felt this good in my ass before," she said softly, her arms reaching back to curl around his neck. She gyrated slowly on his lap, moaning softly. "A gal could get used to this." His muscular arms wrapped around her and caressed Ginny's body, massaging her tits. She loved how she felt pinned to him. She had finally found the measure of her body and began to squeeze her tight ass around his cock. She squirmed in slow circles on his lap, wishing she had some music to fuck him to. Her stereo system suddenly came on and began playing 'It's Cold Outside'. She giggled and squeezed his neck gently at his thoughtfulness. "You think of everything, don't you?" she purred, lost in her pleasure. "I can't wait to make you cum again." He smiled wickedly and pulled gently on her nipples, causing her to groan at the welcome sting. She pressed her ass back into his lap, squeezing again around his throbbing shaft. The water bubbled and churned around her waist, the heat leaving her skin shining. She began to pant as she moved her hips faster, stopping the circular motions and started to move up and down, his cock sliding in and out of her. Santa took hold of her hips and let her bounce on his lap. Ginny leaned forward, gasping as she fondled her tits, overcome with a liquid heat as his cock impaled her faster and faster. Water splashed around them as the fucking took on an almost frantic pace. Ginny had never felt anything in her ass like this before, nothing even close to this good. She could very easily become an addict. "Uh, fuck!" she grunted, slamming her ass down on him while one hand snaked down and began massaging her cunt and clit. His hands steadied her and helped moved her up and down. She could feel his hips trembling beneath her, his fingers flexing and squeezing her skin. Her panting became a long, drawn-out keening. She clenched her teeth, shuddering and straining as she tried to prolong the fucking; Ginny screamed and pushed herself back against his massive chest violently, thrashing as she clenched his cock inside her ass while he came. His cream flooded inside her, the unreal hot-cool tingling transporting her. He growled in her ear, almost crushing her comparatively tiny frame against himself. She collapsed, utterly exhausted, her chest rising and falling as the world spun around her. She felt him holding her gently, caressing her body in unique ways that seemed to; regulate her blood flow and nerve sensations, making the post-orgasmic bliss she was feeling last as long as possible. She felt herself smile and hum at his consideration, understanding this this is who he was and what he was meant to do. Ginny then did something she almost never did during sex, she leaned her head back, pressed her lips to his and kissed him deeply and with great affection. She held it for as long as she could and then sank back into his embrace, sighing in contentment. "Wish you were advertising for a Mrs. Claus at the moment," she said softly. "I could get used to this." "I like things the way they are," he replied, hugging her. "Every year I get to reward you for being a good girl. What could be better than that?" "True, I guess," Ginny agreed. "I'm only human, all this sex could kill me." "Hey, I'm human too, you know," he chuckled. "Just because I'm immeasurably older than you and subject to quantum laws even my smartest elf couldn't explain doesn't mean I'm a member of some other species." "Okay, that's fair, although I'd still fuck you if you were an alien or some extra-dimensional being." Ginny admitted. "You've come in me a lot tonight, daddy. Do I need to” "No," he said cheerfully. "I'm not sterile, but you can't get pregnant unless I decide you will and I've never allowed it." "I wonder what a Santa kid would be like," she mused. "More like you or the mom?" "No idea," he confessed. "There's not exactly a manual, so I've never taken a chance." She slowly leaned forward and began to rise, shivering as she slid off his long cock and it popped out of her. She knelt and turned around to face him, not sure she could stand yet, looking up at his still hard cock and giggled, pressing her finger against the head. "Well, I think you can take him off duty, sir," she said sweetly. "I'm pretty sure that I'm all fucked out for the night, if not the whole season." He chuckled and let his cock soften, looking into her eyes and caressing his cheek. "Hopefully that was what you needed for Christmas." "Definitely, Santa." Ginny said, giggling. "Is it greedy to want the same present again next year?" "Not at all," he replied, grinning. "It cuts down on elf-labor hours if I can give people a gift mysteriously." Santa paused in speaking, going silent and looking around, as if listening for something. Neither of them touched the controls, but the motor for the jets turned off and all that could be heard was the howling roar of the winter storm outside. Ginny looked at him in confusion, wondering why his features hardened and a scowl crossed his normally jovial face. "That's no storm," he said in a low, growling voice. "Not a regular one, anyway." "What does that mean?" she asked, his reaction worrying her for reasons she couldn't readily explain. What the hell was a 'not regular' storm, according to Santa, or anyone else for that matter? He stood up and strode out of the hot tub, taking her by the hand and pulling her out with him. Their naked bodies glistened with water but this was the farthest thing from her mind. "What's going on?" she asked, his consternation beginning to frighten her now. She watched as he tossed her the robe she'd been wearing earlier and then started pulling on his pants and sturdy black boots. "It's just a winter storm! Isn't it?" "I wish that were true," he replied, his expression grim. "Listen to me very carefully, Virginia. I'll need you to follow me instructions precisely. Do you understand?" She nodded. "Okay, but” "Good," he said, cutting her off, his eyes flashing. "It's very important to your safety." "Can you at least tell me what's happening?" she pleaded. "Krampus." Santa muttered darkly as he wrapped bright red straps around his wrists, tightening them. "I should've been more careful." "What's Krampus?" she asked, going pale and she paused in putting on her robe, one of her tits hanging out. "Krampus isn't a what, Krampus is a who," he said, his eyes scanning the layout of her expansive living room. "He's also called Black Pete in some places and legend says he's supposed to be my evil henchman who punishes wicked children." "I take it that's not true, then?" she asked, looking around like he did, wondering what he was searching for. "Not even close," he growled. "Pardon my French, but Krampus is an evil sonofabitch. He was, at one time long ago, my dedicated helper, but he turned down the path of darkness, becoming twisted and diabolic. Forget punishing children, he wants to destroy Christmas, like it never happened." "What's that got to do with us here?" she asked, trying to keep her voice from trembling. "Can he reach us in this storm?" "This storm is his doing, I recognize it now," Santa said, striding over to his huge Christmas bag and beginning to rummage in it. "A massive storm always precedes his arrival. It can be mistaken for a regular winter storm if you're not paying

In this week's episode, we spotlight the all around amazing Barnevelder chicken. Choosing next year's birds is our main topic, we share our recipe for absolutely delicious and easy to make Oatmeal Golden Raisin Cookies, and we seek out some retail therapy with the newest chicken jewelry. Grubbly Farms - click here for our affiliate link.https://www.anrdoezrs.net/click-100963304-15546963Pre and Probiotic and Vitamin and Electrolyte Powders!Bright and Early Coffee - use code CWTCL15 for 15% off of any bagged coffee. K Cups always ship free!https://brightandearlycoffee.com/Chicken Challengers - https://www.chickenchallengers.com/Omlet Coops- Use Our Affiliate Link and COFFEE10 code for 10% off!https://tidd.ly/3Uwt8BfBreed Spotlight is sponsored by Murray McMurray Hatcheryhttps://www.mcmurrayhatchery.com/Metzer Farms Waterfowlhttps://www.metzerfarms.com/Eaton Pet and Pasture - Use code COFFEE for a discount on first-time purchases.Nestera UShttps://nestera.us/cwtclUse our affiliate link above for 5% off your purchaseOatmeal Golden Raisin Cookies - https://coffeewiththechickenladies.com/farm-fresh-egg-recipes/oatmeal-golden-raisin-cookies/CWTCL Websitehttps://coffeewiththechickenladies.com/CWTCL Etsy Shophttps://www.etsy.com/shop/CoffeeWChickenLadiesAs Amazon Influencers, we may receive a small commission from the sale of some items at no additional cost to consumers.CWTCL Amazon Recommendationshttps://www.amazon.com/shop/coffeewiththechickenladiesSupport the show

This week on the Off the Edge with Cam Jordan Podcast, Cam is joined by the 2x NBA All-Star, entrepreneur, and budding rapper Baron Davis. Baron shares how he became an avid Raiders fan, developed his Bart Oatmeal rap persona, and led the “We Believe” Warriors to their round one upset of the 1st Seeded Mavericks. Cam and Baron also discuss what it was like playing on the Clippers under Donald Sterling, before Baron takes the opportunity to hard sell Cam on joining the Raiders. The Off the Edge with Cam Jordan podcast is a production of the NFL in partnership with iHeart Media.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This week on the Off the Edge with Cam Jordan Podcast, Cam is joined by the 2x NBA All-Star, entrepreneur, and budding rapper Baron Davis. Baron shares how he became an avid Raiders fan, developed his Bart Oatmeal rap persona, and led the “We Believe” Warriors to their round one upset of the 1st Seeded Mavericks. Cam and Baron also discuss what it was like playing on the Clippers under Donald Sterling, before Baron takes the opportunity to hard sell Cam on joining the Raiders. The Off the Edge with Cam Jordan podcast is a production of the NFL in partnership with iHeart Media.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

House made apple butter ribboned through toasted cinnamon oat ice cream, laden with crispy oatmeal cookie pieces. Enjoyed in Chattanooga, Tennessee! •Ice Cream Brand:https://clumpies.com/pages/flavors•Patreon:patreon.com/pryorcreatesInstagram:instagram.com/icecreampodICM Google Sheet:https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/128RofRclIp-jHduQe-yBPRX3iQ-PBN9AKGSGgAJLTeE/edit?usp=sharing•Our theme song was sourced and licensed through Epidemic Sound. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Send us a textIn this week's Weight Loss Wednesday, I'm tackling another round of your questions. I love these episodes because they let me answer the things you're genuinely struggling with in real time. Keep sending them in. They really do shape what this podcast becomes.I start with a question I know so many of us wrestle with: how to stop second-guessing the plan every time someone else has an opinion. Whether it's oats, keto, fasting or the latest shiny little diet gimmick, the noise never stops. I talk about why that noise is so loud, how diet culture keeps repackaging century-old nonsense, and why the simplest approach really is the one that works. Oatmeal isn't sabotaging you. Bacon and bubblegum aren't magic. Stick to the calories. That's the only thing that matters.From there, I jump into frozen meals. Yes, I eat them. Yes, some are healthy. And yes, some are absolutely not healthy, but also still delicious and easy. The beauty of them is the convenience and the accuracy. The calories are right there and that makes life so much easier on the days when you just need simple and doable.We also talk about the ten-day egg diet. I love eggs. I truly do. But eating just one food for ten days? Not my vibe. I explain why single-food diets aren't sustainable, why balance matters, and a little bit about my own digestive quirks that mean vegetables are a non-negotiable for me.Then I answer a really important question about tracking. Does logging your food help on your weight loss journey? Absolutely. I talk about why it works both practically and emotionally, and why I genuinely believe calorie tracking is the only real shortcut that exists in weight loss.There's also a thoughtful question from a pregnant listener about whether to keep working the plan during pregnancy and postpartum. I share my own experience with pregnancy, loss and nursing, and why I would personally focus on nutrient density and medical guidance rather than weight loss during that time.And finally, I answer a question about my new gratitude journal and how it fits into my daily routine. I talk about how it's separate from my regular journaling, why gratitude became such a huge part of my life after getting sick, and how it can actually influence a weight loss journey in some really Looking for help on your weight loss journey? I've created a couple of resources:• My NEW Membership Community Flamingo Forum! Join HERE: https://charlotte-skanes.mykajabi.com/disruptor-our-community• My Immersive Weight Loss Experience: Sustainable 7• My Cookbook 'Disruptor'• Free Guide ‘Getting Started for the Last Time'• Weight Loss Workbook Disruptor, find anywhere in the world on Amazon by searching “Disruptor Charlotte Skanes”•Get Started For The Last Time LIVE Webinar Replay Sign-Up - free Spread Sprinkle Pour worksheets WebsiteInstagramYoutube...

This episode includes: #RateMyMeal, teacher makes club gains, oatmeal, nutrition while at theme parks, forearm training and new releases!Join The SwoleFam https://swolenormousx.com/membershipsDownload The Swolenormous App https://swolenormousx.com/swolenormousappMERCH - https://papaswolio.com/Watch the full episodes here: https://rumble.com/thedailyswoleSubmit A Question⁠ For The Show: https://swolenormousx.com/apsGet On Papa Swolio's Email List: https://swolenormousx.com/emailDownload The 7 Pillars Ebook: https://swolenormousx.com/7-Pillars-EbookTry A Swolega Class From Inside Swolenormous X: https://www.swolenormousx.com/swolegaGet Your Free $10 In Bitcoin: https://www.swanbitcoin.com/papaswolio/   Questions? Email Us: Support@Swolenormous.com

We've been told oatmeal is the perfect breakfast. But for many women over 40, it's wrecking metabolism. Dr. Kris Sargent explains how blood sugar spikes, hormone imbalances, and cultural food myths keep you stuck—and how faith-based body stewardship renews your health.

Show Notes: https://bengreenfieldlife.com/lnchernow/ Michael is a serial entrepreneur, restauranteur, podcast host, and expert in the worlds of wellness, fitness, and nutrition. After years in the restaurant business in NYC, he realized that his calling was to be of service in a more personal way, with the ability to impact more lives. Honoring his 17 years of sobriety by launching his newest venture, Michael's goal with KOH was to create easily-accessible nutritional products rooted in adopting the positive habits that transformed his life (btw, his overnight oatmeal is crazy good and there’s a 15% discount with code BGL15 if you click here). Episode Sponsors: Sunlighten: Sunlighten's patented infrared sauna technology delivers the highest quality near, mid, and far infrared wavelengths to reduce inflammation, boost mitochondrial function, enhance detox pathways, and optimize recovery—backed by 25+ years of clinically proven, non-toxic innovation. Save up to $1,400 at Sunlighten.com/BEN with code BEN. The Medicin: Immune Intel AHCC is a clinically studied shiitake mushroom extract that enhances immune cell communication through a patented fermentation process, creating highly bioavailable alpha-glucans. Backed by 30+ human studies and used in over 1,000 clinics worldwide, AHCC supports immune function for everyday wellness and chronic health challenges—learn more at TheMedicin.com and use code BEN for 10% off. Fatty15: Fatty15 is on a mission to optimize your C15:0 levels and help you live healthier, longer. You can get an additional 15% off their 90-day subscription Starter Kit by going to fatty15.com/BEN and using code BEN at checkout. Apollo: Apollo is a safe and non-invasive wearable that actively improves your sleep. Head over to apolloneuro.com/bengreenfield and use code BENGREENFIELD for $90 off. Hiya: Give your kids the full-body nourishment they need to grow into healthy adults. I’ve secured a special deal with Hiya on their best-selling children's vitamin—get 50% off your first order today! To claim this deal, you must go to hiyahealth.com/BEN (it is not available on their regular website).See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Getting a blood sugar spike after oatmeal? Don't panic. This doesn't mean oats are off-limits. In this episode, Wendy breaks down why oatmeal might cause a spike, how to troubleshoot it, and what to look for in your toppings, timing, and portion sizes. You'll hear real client examples of small changes that made a big difference, plus tips for making oatmeal work with your blood sugar—not against it.If you're living with diabetes or prediabetes and want personalized support from a Registered Dietitian Nutritionist covered by insurance, visit diabetesdigital.co to connect with our culturally aware and weight-inclusive team. And if you love the show, don't forget to rate and review us on iTunes or Spotify—it makes a huge difference! For additional resources and show notes, head to diabetesdigital.co/podcast.​​

Angel Holland and her live-in boyfriend, Aaron Stalling, were recently indicted on charges of felonious assault and child endangering. Stalling called 911 in September to report his "son" was having trouble breathing. EMT's in Elmwood Place, Ohio found a nine-year-old boy who weighed just 30 pounds with his siblings severely malnourished. Body-worn camera video shows the efforts to save the boy and Holland explaining what she feeds the children. Law&Crime's Angenette Levy goes through the new video in this episode of Crime Fix — a daily show covering the biggest stories in crime.PLEASE SUPPORT THE SHOW: Download the SAN app at https://san.com/crimefix for Unbiased, Straight factsHost:Angenette Levy https://twitter.com/Angenette5Guest: Bill Gallagher https://x.com/AGCrimLawProducer:Jordan ChaconCRIME FIX PRODUCTION:Head of Social Media, YouTube - Bobby SzokeSocial Media Management - Vanessa BeinVideo Editing - Daniel CamachoGuest Booking - Alyssa Fisher & Diane KayeSTAY UP-TO-DATE WITH THE LAW&CRIME NETWORK:Watch Law&Crime Network on YouTubeTV: https://bit.ly/3td2e3yWhere To Watch Law&Crime Network: https://bit.ly/3akxLK5Sign Up For Law&Crime's Daily Newsletter: https://bit.ly/LawandCrimeNewsletterRead Fascinating Articles From Law&Crime Network: https://bit.ly/3td2IqoLAW&CRIME NETWORK SOCIAL MEDIA:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lawandcrime/Twitter: https://twitter.com/LawCrimeNetworkFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/lawandcrimeTwitch: https://www.twitch.tv/lawandcrimenetworkTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@lawandcrimeSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Elizabeth's flying solo for this one and sharing the real story behind Purely Elizabeth - the part with no business plan, a muffin mix made in her mom's kitchen, and a triathlon that unexpectedly changed everything. From stumbling into the wellness world to figuring out CPG on the fly, she walks through the early days of building the brand without a roadmap. You'll hear the wins, the missteps, and the decisions that could've gone either way, plus why staying mission-led (and a little weird) has always been worth it.Episodes Here Say Hi To Elizabeth and Purely Elizabeth: Website | InstagramLiz: The Nourished Edit Mentioned: Institute for Integrative Nutrition 

National Oatmeal day. Entertainment from 1972. Black Tuesday stock market crash 1929, 1 legged gymnast wins 6 olympic medals, China ends its one child policy. Todays birthdays - Richard Dreyfuss, Kate Jackson, Kevin DuBrow, Dan Castellaneta, Joely Fisher, Winona Ryder, Tracee Ellis Ross. Sir Walter Raleigh died.Intro - God did good - Dianna Corcoran     https://www.diannacorcoran.com/Oatmeal everywhere - Origial Kds songMy Ding-A-Ling  - Chuck BerryIt's not love, but it's not bad - Merle HaggardBirthdays - In da club - 50 Cent    http://50cent.com/Scareccrow & Mrs. King TV themeBang your head - Quiet riotExit - Sunner Fall - Lee Sims    https://www.leesims.com/countryundergroundradio.comHistory & Factoids about today webpage

(00:00-6:18) Per sources the San Diego Padres will meet with Albert Pujols about their managerial opening. Albert no longer a candidate for the Angels job. Doug thinks San Diego is a better place to live than Baltimore. The San Diego Sockers. Indoor soccer. Steve Zungul.(6:26-25:45) Andy Crouppen stops by the studio with a fresh haircut. Oatmeal's oversized nipples. Andy discovers the YouTube chat and the text inbox. Bringing hockey culture to the masses. Selling trinkets at the Galleria. You don't see many gongs these days except in this studio. Luke Fickell's buyout. Famous Wisconsin alums. What's the tallest woman Jackson has ever dated? Lucid dreaming about tall women who can dunk on you.(25:55-38:08) Screams of horror coming from the Mariners locker room. So primal. Dodgers huge favorites to win the World Series at -210. Ray Romano. What are the odds of having a royal flush beat four of a kind?See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Welcome to Episode 201 of the Fully In It Podcast! Today I'm feeling cozy and want to chat with you all things homemaking this fall, what I'm shifting in my home, what I'm adding, and how I'm savoring motherhood right now. If you need a light episode that makes you want to putter around your kitchen, light a candle, get a warm drink, and join me.    Oatmeal bar recipe 1....I typically swap the butter for coconut oil and it seems to hold better https://www.lovefromtheoven.com/homemade-granola-bars/   Recipe 2, I use almond butter instead of peanut butter https://www.loveandlemons.com/granola-bars-recipe/   Simone Davies on the Cohesive Home Podcast EP 57 "Parenting Peacefully + the Montessori Method with Simone Davies": https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/cohesive-home-podcast-minimalism-families-adventure/id1078143476?i=1000430557371    

(00:00-14:47) Is this Shooter McGavin's time? Lots of celebrities and carbohydrates lined up for our one-year anniversary on 101 ESPN. We're giving away a gong and $10 gas gift card for EMOTD. Audio of Syracuse coach Fran Brown clarifying some comments on the Syracuse job. Report companies. Can Georgia Tech play with Miami? No guarantee for a two loss SEC team to get into the CFP.(14:56-23:48) Jackson's weekend plans. Oatmeal's big nips. Who hasn't seen their friends topless? Great slate, slate gray. What got Doug into the Kirkwood Hall of Fame. Looks like I'm leading a teen abstinence workshop. The dangers of girls trips. Doug's love of Doug Hennig.(23:58-28:23) E-Mail of the DaySee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Ep. 97: We Have Fun! - ft. Oak & AriesIntro - We have fun!*Oak's Godfather ate their goldfishLove Wolf album discussion*Whoo-hoo - the pushy owls*Elton John - a diminutive fellow performs at the Las Vegas Retirement HomeAlex is chauffer for Aries (before Aries arrives)Aries has arrived and gets an earfulAries's New and Good includes his daily meal plan"Lemon Party" - and "Cars"*Aries and "Shrek Special"Alex makes an announcement*Cleveland reacts to Alex's newsMore Aries food choicesOak's New & Good includes new glassesAries deals with books*Jacked LibrariansVideo Gaming nostalgia*Game FAQ Review mtg. [RETRO]More Gaming nostalgiaInfo regarding our Shows and Programs*Includes Improvised Sketch Thank you for listening. LIke what you hear? Want to hear something more? Drop us a comment at https://www.jestimprov.com/podcast Let us know if you want a mention in our episode, we'll do our best to give you a shout-out.Visit us anytime at https://www.jestimprov.com to find out more about us in Ventura, CA - including when to drop-in for classes and shows!

Do you decorate for Halloween? Duji's bunion is the size of a golf ball. A team gives up their championship trophy after finding out there was a mistake on the scoreboard. Nice guys finish last. Oatmeal. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Do you decorate for Halloween? Duji's bunion is the size of a golf ball. A team gives up their championship trophy after finding out there was a mistake on the scoreboard. Nice guys finish last. Oatmeal. 

Do you decorate for Halloween? Duji's bunion is the size of a golf ball. A team gives up their championship trophy after finding out there was a mistake on the scoreboard. Nice guys finish last. Oatmeal. Could JLR walk a Taco Bell marathon? Are we in an AI bubble? Chinese factories terrify manufacturing owners. Charlie blew his back out. Brianna "Chickenfry" LaPaglia talks about her breakup with Zach Bryan on the show Special Forces. Rover's country alias, Luke Brown. Is Charlie buying a new boat? MTV is shutting down channels in Europe. Reality tv. The slap heard round the world. A couple in South Carolina has decorated their home to make it look like it is engulfed in flames.

Do you decorate for Halloween? Duji's bunion is the size of a golf ball. A team gives up their championship trophy after finding out there was a mistake on the scoreboard. Nice guys finish last. Oatmeal. Could JLR walk a Taco Bell marathon? Are we in an AI bubble? Chinese factories terrify manufacturing owners. Charlie blew his back out. Brianna "Chickenfry" LaPaglia talks about her breakup with Zach Bryan on the show Special Forces. Rover's country alias, Luke Brown. Is Charlie buying a new boat? MTV is shutting down channels in Europe. Reality tv. The slap heard round the world. A couple in South Carolina has decorated their home to make it look like it is engulfed in flames. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Denis Stetskov describes how we've "normalized catastrophe" in the software industry, Meta is officially handing React and React Native over to a foundation, The New Stack reports on GitHub's Azure migration priority, Miguel Grinberg benchmarks Python 3.14, and The Oatmeal's Matthew Inman published his take on AI art.

Denis Stetskov describes how we've "normalized catastrophe" in the software industry, Meta is officially handing React and React Native over to a foundation, The New Stack reports on GitHub's Azure migration priority, Miguel Grinberg benchmarks Python 3.14, and The Oatmeal's Matthew Inman published his take on AI art.

This podcast covers our bonus content for New Girl Season 5, Episode 10, Goosebumps Walkaway where we dive into our ‘Most Likely To' picks and we also answer some of your listener questions.Episode Sections:(00:00) Welcome(00:56) Most Likely To(06:52) Listener QuestionsThanks for listening and stay tuned for Episode 11!Music: "Hotshot” by ⁠scottholmesmusic.com⁠Follow us on ⁠Instagram⁠ or email us at ⁠whosthatgirlpod@gmail.com⁠!Website: ⁠https://smallscreenchatter.com/⁠

Denis Stetskov describes how we've "normalized catastrophe" in the software industry, Meta is officially handing React and React Native over to a foundation, The New Stack reports on GitHub's Azure migration priority, Miguel Grinberg benchmarks Python 3.14, and The Oatmeal's Matthew Inman published his take on AI art.

Le app per ChatGPT. Le reazioni degli artisti al lancio di Sora 2. Il compleanno di Pavel Durov e la libertà su internet. Qualcomm ha acquisito Arduino. Banca Etica, Bitcoin ed Euro Digitale. Queste e molte altre le notizie tech commentate nella puntata di questa settimana.Dallo studio distribuito di digitalia:Franco Solerio, Michele Di Maio, Francesco FacconiProduttori esecutivi:Diego Arati, Christophe Sollami, @Joanpiretz, Davide Tinti, Paolo Bernardini, Matteo Tarabini, Arzigogolo, Massimo Maddalena, Giovanni Priolo, Giuseppe Rubino, Maurizio Galluzzo, @Akagrinta, @Jh4Ckal, Andrea Sinigaglia, Paolo Pedron, Stefano Minardi, Alessandro Stevanin, Davide Capra, Raffaele Viero, Alessandro Lazzarini, Edoardo Zini, Massimiliano Casamento, Carlo Tomas, Alessandro Morgantini, Paolo Tegoni, Consultech Srl, Manuel Zavatta, Massimiliano Saggia, Raffaele Marco Della Monica, @Pier, Andrea Picotti, Matteo De Lucia, Ivan, Luca Ubiali, Renato Battistin, Vincenzo Ingenito, Simone Andreozzi, Giuliano Arcinotti, Alessio Conforto, Antonio Taurisano, Ivan, Yoandi Herrera, Giovanni D'addabbo, Massimiliano Sgroi, Massimo PasseriniSponsor:Links:OpenAI launches apps inside of ChatGPTOpenAI Wants ChatGPT to Be Your Future Operating SystemWe got ChatGPT to leak your private email dataOpenAI allegedly sent police to an AI regulation advocate's doorOpenAI bans suspected accountsOpenAI wasn't expecting Sora's copyright dramaStalin dal macellaioKenobit su Sora 2A cartoonist's review of AI artPolice are asking kids to stop pulling AI homeless man prankWhy do LLMs freak out over the seahorse emoji?Il messaggio di Pavel Durov sulla "Internet Freedom"Choices and KnivesWhy is everything these days so broken and unstable?Qualcomm Acquires Arduino: The Wheel of History TurnsCitizen Protest Halts Chat ControlFight Chat Control - Protect Digital Privacy in the EUNeppure Banca Etica può aprire un conto a Francesca AlbaneseEU ministers reach compromise on digital euro roadmapPagato il primo stipendio in rubli digitaliBitcoin vs. Gold: The Future of Central Bank Reserves by 2030Gingilli del giorno:Might 3 - Player Spotify e Amazon Music offlineSynthesizing with MoogCapy Reader - A smallish Android RSS readerSupporta Digitalia, diventa produttore esecutivo.

Between 1946 and 1953, at a Massachusetts institution called the Walter E. Fernald State School, dozens of boys were recruited into something called a “Science Club.” They were promised special perks — better food, baseball games, trips to the beach. What they weren't told was that their breakfast oatmeal and milk were secretly laced with radioactive iron and calcium. The so-called nutritional study was designed by scientists from MIT, funded in part by the U.S. Atomic Energy Commission, and co-sponsored by Quaker Oats, which supplied the cereal. The goal was to measure how well the body absorbed minerals from food — but the method violated every basic rule of ethics and consent. The children, many labeled “feebleminded” or “morons” by the state, were wards of Massachusetts — boys without parents, without rights, and without the ability to refuse. Some were even injected with radioactive materials in follow-up experiments. None were told what was happening to them. When the truth came out decades later, public outrage was immediate. Survivors like Fred Boyce came forward, saying the greatest harm wasn't the radiation — it was being treated like an object, not a person. In 1998, MIT and Quaker Oats settled a class-action lawsuit for $1.85 million, and President Bill Clinton issued an apology on behalf of the federal government for Cold War-era human radiation testing. But behind the headlines is a bigger story — about power, secrecy, and the belief that science justifies anything. In this episode, we dig deep into the Fernald radioactive oatmeal experiments — what really happened, who was responsible, what became of the victims, and how it changed human-subject research forever. Hosted by Tony Brueski. Subscribe for more longform true-crime investigations that expose the hidden side of power, psychology, and justice. #HiddenKillers #TrueCrimePodcast #FernaldExperiment #RadioactiveOatmeal #ColdWarHistory #HumanExperimentation #MIT #QuakerOats #InstitutionalAbuse #ScienceEthics Want to comment and watch this podcast as a video? Check out our YouTube Channel. https://www.youtube.com/@hiddenkillerspod Instagram https://www.instagram.com/hiddenkillerspod/ Facebook https://www.facebook.com/hiddenkillerspod/ Tik-Tok https://www.tiktok.com/@hiddenkillerspod X Twitter https://x.com/tonybpod Listen Ad-Free On Apple Podcasts Here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/true-crime-today-premium-plus-ad-free-advance-episode/id1705422872

Between 1946 and 1953, at a Massachusetts institution called the Walter E. Fernald State School, dozens of boys were recruited into something called a “Science Club.” They were promised special perks — better food, baseball games, trips to the beach. What they weren't told was that their breakfast oatmeal and milk were secretly laced with radioactive iron and calcium. The so-called nutritional study was designed by scientists from MIT, funded in part by the U.S. Atomic Energy Commission, and co-sponsored by Quaker Oats, which supplied the cereal. The goal was to measure how well the body absorbed minerals from food — but the method violated every basic rule of ethics and consent. The children, many labeled “feebleminded” or “morons” by the state, were wards of Massachusetts — boys without parents, without rights, and without the ability to refuse. Some were even injected with radioactive materials in follow-up experiments. None were told what was happening to them. When the truth came out decades later, public outrage was immediate. Survivors like Fred Boyce came forward, saying the greatest harm wasn't the radiation — it was being treated like an object, not a person. In 1998, MIT and Quaker Oats settled a class-action lawsuit for $1.85 million, and President Bill Clinton issued an apology on behalf of the federal government for Cold War-era human radiation testing. But behind the headlines is a bigger story — about power, secrecy, and the belief that science justifies anything. In this episode, we dig deep into the Fernald radioactive oatmeal experiments — what really happened, who was responsible, what became of the victims, and how it changed human-subject research forever. Hosted by Tony Brueski. Subscribe for more longform true-crime investigations that expose the hidden side of power, psychology, and justice. #HiddenKillers #TrueCrimePodcast #FernaldExperiment #RadioactiveOatmeal #ColdWarHistory #HumanExperimentation #MIT #QuakerOats #InstitutionalAbuse #ScienceEthics Want to comment and watch this podcast as a video? Check out our YouTube Channel. https://www.youtube.com/@hiddenkillerspod Instagram https://www.instagram.com/hiddenkillerspod/ Facebook https://www.facebook.com/hiddenkillerspod/ Tik-Tok https://www.tiktok.com/@hiddenkillerspod X Twitter https://x.com/tonybpod Listen Ad-Free On Apple Podcasts Here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/true-crime-today-premium-plus-ad-free-advance-episode/id1705422872

Between 1946 and 1953, at a Massachusetts institution called the Walter E. Fernald State School, dozens of boys were recruited into something called a “Science Club.” They were promised special perks — better food, baseball games, trips to the beach. What they weren't told was that their breakfast oatmeal and milk were secretly laced with radioactive iron and calcium. The so-called nutritional study was designed by scientists from MIT, funded in part by the U.S. Atomic Energy Commission, and co-sponsored by Quaker Oats, which supplied the cereal. The goal was to measure how well the body absorbed minerals from food — but the method violated every basic rule of ethics and consent. The children, many labeled “feebleminded” or “morons” by the state, were wards of Massachusetts — boys without parents, without rights, and without the ability to refuse. Some were even injected with radioactive materials in follow-up experiments. None were told what was happening to them. When the truth came out decades later, public outrage was immediate. Survivors like Fred Boyce came forward, saying the greatest harm wasn't the radiation — it was being treated like an object, not a person. In 1998, MIT and Quaker Oats settled a class-action lawsuit for $1.85 million, and President Bill Clinton issued an apology on behalf of the federal government for Cold War-era human radiation testing. But behind the headlines is a bigger story — about power, secrecy, and the belief that science justifies anything. In this episode, we dig deep into the Fernald radioactive oatmeal experiments — what really happened, who was responsible, what became of the victims, and how it changed human-subject research forever. Hosted by Tony Brueski. Subscribe for more longform true-crime investigations that expose the hidden side of power, psychology, and justice. #HiddenKillers #TrueCrimePodcast #FernaldExperiment #RadioactiveOatmeal #ColdWarHistory #HumanExperimentation #MIT #QuakerOats #InstitutionalAbuse #ScienceEthics Want to comment and watch this podcast as a video? Check out our YouTube Channel. https://www.youtube.com/@hiddenkillerspod Instagram https://www.instagram.com/hiddenkillerspod/ Facebook https://www.facebook.com/hiddenkillerspod/ Tik-Tok https://www.tiktok.com/@hiddenkillerspod X Twitter https://x.com/tonybpod Listen Ad-Free On Apple Podcasts Here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/true-crime-today-premium-plus-ad-free-advance-episode/id1705422872

Between 1946 and 1953, at a Massachusetts institution called the Walter E. Fernald State School, dozens of boys were recruited into something called a “Science Club.” They were promised special perks — better food, baseball games, trips to the beach. What they weren't told was that their breakfast oatmeal and milk were secretly laced with radioactive iron and calcium. The so-called nutritional study was designed by scientists from MIT, funded in part by the U.S. Atomic Energy Commission, and co-sponsored by Quaker Oats, which supplied the cereal. The goal was to measure how well the body absorbed minerals from food — but the method violated every basic rule of ethics and consent. The children, many labeled “feebleminded” or “morons” by the state, were wards of Massachusetts — boys without parents, without rights, and without the ability to refuse. Some were even injected with radioactive materials in follow-up experiments. None were told what was happening to them. When the truth came out decades later, public outrage was immediate. Survivors like Fred Boyce came forward, saying the greatest harm wasn't the radiation — it was being treated like an object, not a person. In 1998, MIT and Quaker Oats settled a class-action lawsuit for $1.85 million, and President Bill Clinton issued an apology on behalf of the federal government for Cold War-era human radiation testing. But behind the headlines is a bigger story — about power, secrecy, and the belief that science justifies anything. In this episode, we dig deep into the Fernald radioactive oatmeal experiments — what really happened, who was responsible, what became of the victims, and how it changed human-subject research forever. Hosted by Tony Brueski. Subscribe for more longform true-crime investigations that expose the hidden side of power, psychology, and justice. #HiddenKillers #TrueCrimePodcast #FernaldExperiment #RadioactiveOatmeal #ColdWarHistory #HumanExperimentation #MIT #QuakerOats #InstitutionalAbuse #ScienceEthics Want to comment and watch this podcast as a video? Check out our YouTube Channel. https://www.youtube.com/@hiddenkillerspod Instagram https://www.instagram.com/hiddenkillerspod/ Facebook https://www.facebook.com/hiddenkillerspod/ Tik-Tok https://www.tiktok.com/@hiddenkillerspod X Twitter https://x.com/tonybpod Listen Ad-Free On Apple Podcasts Here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/true-crime-today-premium-plus-ad-free-advance-episode/id1705422872

This week we're plus The Bear, which is what I call Taylor Grimes of @swimintothesound (sorry for not asking if you like your new nickname I just gave you earlier this sentence) who walks us through his favorite record: Minus the Bear's Menos El Oso. And yes, we do talk about the sex thing. Apologies!Also up for bearscussion (bear-discussion): A North Carolina treat is Bev'd "Live and In-Person" (TM), a swath of emo albums are discovered, and Oatmeal! Who is eating it and sleeping in our beds?? We find out, tonight. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

From oatmeal hacks to outfit inspo — are you ready to elevate your fall? In this conversation, Jessica and Kelly discuss their love for oatmeal, share tips on customizing Starbucks oatmeal, and transition into a lively discussion about fall fashion. They explore the concept of a capsule wardrobe, the importance of investment pieces versus budget finds, and how to maintain personal style amidst ever-changing trends. The conversation is filled with practical fashion advice, personal anecdotes, and a light-hearted approach to style. Inside This Conversation: Oatmeal customization at Starbucks is essential for a better experience. Fall fashion can be simplified with a capsule wardrobe approach. Investing in quality denim and jackets is crucial for a stylish wardrobe. Trends can be overwhelming; focus on personal style instead. Mindful shopping helps distinguish between impulse buys and true needs. Layering and versatile pieces are key for fall outfits. Wide-leg jeans are making a comeback, but personal comfort is paramount. Blazers can refresh any outfit and should be chosen wisely. Track pants can be both stylish and comfortable for various occasions. Finding inspiration from trusted sources can help navigate fashion trends. Dressy Look Yoga Pant here. Chapters 00:00 Oatmeal Obsession 02:29 Fall Fashion Trends 05:27 Capsule Wardrobe Essentials 09:24 Investment vs. Budget Fashion 12:32 Finding Personal Style 15:06 NEWCHAPTER   Connect With Us:

We eat meatloaf and oatmeal with raisins before discussing Blue Valentine. The exploration of the good and bad behavior and personality traits in the film may be too intense to be entertaining. The slow heartbreak throughout the film explores the control and manipulation in a relationship. Are there sides that we gravitate to based on our own biases, or is everyone just messed up? We may be able to use this film as a means to discover red flags in relationships before they become part of our lives.

We talk bidets, Howard Stern, and hear a rant from Juanita about brands changing their logos.

"David, you're super rich. Why are you putting up with this?" Two of the smartest friends of the show are here to break down the news from one of our other smart friends, but rather than using each of their expert opinions for insight, Dan chooses to pit them against one another. Because of course. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Jenny and Scott talk about bolusing for Oatmeal Free Juicebox Community (non Facebook) Type 1 Diabetes Pro Tips - THE PODCAST Eversense CGM Medtronic Diabetes Tandem Mobi ** twiist AID System Drink AG1.com/Juicebox Use code JUICEBOX to save 40% at Cozy Earth  CONTOUR NextGen smart meter and CONTOUR DIABETES app Dexcom G7 Go tubeless with Omnipod 5 or Omnipod DASH * Get your supplies from US MED  or call 888-721-1514 Touched By Type 1 Take the T1DExchange survey Apple Podcasts> Subscribe to the podcast today! The podcast is available on Spotify, Google Play, iHeartRadio, Radio Public, Amazon Music and all Android devices The Juicebox Podcast is a free show, but if you'd like to support the podcast directly, you can make a gift here or buy me a coffee. Thank you! *The Pod has an IP28 rating for up to 25 feet for 60 minutes. The Omnipod 5 Controller is not waterproof.  ** t:slim X2 or Tandem Mobi w/ Control-IQ+ technology (7.9 or newer). RX ONLY. Indicated for patients with type 1 diabetes, 2 years and older. BOXED WARNING:Control-IQ+ technology should not be used by people under age 2, or who use less than 5 units of insulin/day, or who weigh less than 20 lbs. Safety info: tandemdiabetes.com/safetyinfo Disclaimer - Nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast or read on Arden's Day is intended as medical advice. You should always consult a physician before making changes to your health plan.  If the podcast has helped you to live better with type 1 please tell someone else how to find it!

In this wild ride of an episode, Opie and Ron the Waiter dive into the gritty realities of Coney Island's questionable bathrooms, the disappearing dragonflies, and the parrot invasion of Queens. They tackle hot-button issues like the New York City phone ban in schools, the state of American politics, and the shocking decline of pollinators. With their signature mix of humor, frustration, and unfiltered takes, they explore everything from Jerry Nadler's infamous bathroom breaks to the desensitization of society amid rising violence. Buckle up for a no-holds-barred conversation that's as entertaining as it is thought-provoking! Catch Ron Berman on all socials for more of his unique insights, including his viral parrot video.

“The Gospel Is…” (Romans 1:16–17)In this episode we unpack Paul's thesis for Romans: the gospel is God's power to save because it reveals God's righteousness. We trace how salvation is offered to everyone who believes, why “the righteousness of God” is good news (God's character, God's saving action, and God's gift), and how the just live—now and forever—by faith.Romans 1:16–17; 3:22, 26 • Ephesians 2:5 • 1 Corinthians 1:18 • Romans 13:11 • Philippians 3:9 • Habakkuk 2:4 • Galatians 3:11The gospel is God's powerful means of salvation because it reveals His righteous way of putting sinners right with Himself—received by faith alone. “The righteous (by faith) shall live.”Unashamed of the Gospel (v.16)Paul's confidence despite opposition; the gospel is God's power, not self-help.Goal: full salvation—justification, reconciliation, redemption, transformation—past, present, future.Scope: offered to everyone who believes; to the Jew first and also to the Gentile.Why the Gospel Saves (v.17)It reveals the righteousness of God—the thesis of Romans.Attribute: God is righteous and just; at the cross He is “just and the justifier.”Activity: God keeps covenant, rescues His people, defeats evil.Achievement/Gift: a righteous status from God, granted by grace through faith.Received by FaithHabakkuk 2:4 in context: trust God amid injustice.Paul's application: the one declared righteous by faith truly lives.Structure of Romans: chs. 1–4 (faith → righteousness); chs. 5–8 (righteousness → life).The gospel doesn't merely offer power; it is God's power.Salvation is comprehensive: rescued from wrath and restored to God.God's righteousness is not earned; it's given.Faith is the empty hand that receives Christ—and then walks in new life.Where are you tempted to be “ashamed” of the gospel, and why?Which aspect of God's righteousness (attribute, activity, gift) most encourages you today?How does “the righteous by faith shall live” shape your week practically?

Are you struggling to eat enough without feeling too full? Stephanie shares a simple but powerful strategy: using energy-dense foods. These are foods packed with more calories, protein, carbs, and fats in every bite, perfect for teen athletes who need a lot of fuel but don't want to feel stuffed all the time. From peanut butter to full-fat yogurt, oatmeal to olive oil, Stephanie gives easy, practical tips on when and how to add these foods into your day, especially around workouts, so you can train harder, recover faster, and show up stronger for game day. Resources & Links Join the Academy - https://smnutritionrd.com/academy Free Game Day Nutrition Checklist - https://smnutritionrd.myflodesk.com/nutritionhuddle Join my community! Follow me on Instagram @highschool.athlete.nutrition Got a question or topic idea? Message me here: https://smnutritionrd.com/contact Episode highlights: (0:00) What is energy density and why it matters (0:49) Benefits of energy-dense foods for athletes (1:03) Examples: peanut butter, sunflower butter (1:57) Why lettuce won't cut it for athletes (2:45) Top energy-dense foods to try (3:46) Oatmeal and yogurt upgrades (5:35) When to eat energy-dense meals around workouts (6:33) Post-workout meal ideas that actually work (7:14) Final thoughts and next steps for better fueling

Why don't rockets fly straight up? What's really happening when you make toast? Neil deGrasse Tyson and comic co-host Chuck Nice break down the science of making toast, boiling water, and the Brachristochrone problem. NOTE: StarTalk+ Patrons can listen to this entire episode commercial-free here: https://startalkmedia.com/show/things-you-thought-you-knew-oatmeal-sun/Thanks to our Patrons Mikey2Hearted, Katherine, Kate Donahue, rashi lutfi, Lennon Conson, Menno Baks, Lerby Exantus, Denver Finlaw, Salvador Bello, Mikimajkylu, Rebekah Miller, Anthony D'Amico, Micheal Nelson, Gene Strohl, Miloš Jovanović, Rashid Elliott, Hunter Jackson, Kristina Werden, Joe Monsanto, WideEyedWanderer, Henry Bein, T.MITTEN, zandro, David Abramowitz, Marco Baiocchi, Jordan Eames, Kecarson Singeo, Brandon Mullins, Ignacio Espinza, Jennifer, Marius Kristiansen, Ryan Plummer, Too Many Comics, David Geron, Francis Ganigan, RAYMOND MARTIN, Micheal Bartmess, Neo Pesonen, Cry 'Drew' Andrews, Average Joe, Micheal walker, Miguel, Karen Louise Roberts, Lopez125, Letitia Davis, Arvin Baccay, SNTV FAM, Joseph Zito, CaliNupe99, Stephen Roberts for supporting us this week. Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of StarTalk Radio ad-free and a whole week early.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus.

In this episode, an episode about eating semisolid foods while experiencing a medical crisis, we zoom in on our featured Operator and Food, the styling stormswept seafaring fish doctor Lumen, who's delicate constitution needs to be warmly nurtured, and...Jello...who's scary...we ask the question...what flavor is she...scary flavor...? Then, bring out the band with Jade Noodles, Wiš'adel, and Phoenix Tail Prawn, asking a very important question of you, dear listener: Do you think the hardworking men who care for our communites, who care for our loved ones, our children and our qilin, deserve love, support, and nutrients of their own? We do. That's why Soul Mates! is a proud supporter of the #OatmealForYaoiDoctors movement, and we want you to be to. Share it on your social media, or with your friends and family. Don't let this important cause go unnoticed. Join the movement. Get it trending. #OatmealForYaoiDoctors Follow along:  https://arknights.wiki.gg/wiki/Lumen,  https://food-fantasy.fandom.com/wiki/Jello,  https://food-fantasy.fandom.com/wiki/Jade_Noodles,  https://arknights.wiki.gg/wiki/Wi%C5%A1%27adel,  https://food-fantasy.fandom.com/wiki/Phoenix_Tail_Prawn Support the show:  https://ko-fi.com/ivyfoxart Follow the show on Tumblr:  https://soul-mates-podcast.tumblr.com/ Follow the show on YouTube:  https://www.youtube.com/@Soul-Mates-Podcast Listen to Together We'll Shine: An Utena Rewatch Podcast:  https://bunnygirlbrainwave.substack.com/archive Art by Ryegarden:  https://www.instagram.com/ryegarden Music by Sueños Electrónicos:  https://suenoselectronicos.bandcamp.com/ Follow and support ash:  https://ko-fi.com/asherlark

America has an awesome set of virtues and values and our excellent host, Mike Slater, would like to talk about it at length.Please enjoy two segments about this mind-minded subject while also enjoying some magnificent talk about oatmeal and vanilla ice cream. Trust us when we say that it's actually fascinating stuff! 

AndrewGiiker Super Decoder: https://shop-giiker.myshopify.com/products/super-decoderHouge House Honey Good Mythical Morning: https://www.youtube.com/goodmythicalmorningLaurenDragon Con: https://www.dragoncon.org/Jurassic World, Rebirth: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt31036941Alien Earth: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt13623632Dice-o-matics: https://yarrostudios.com/pages/diceomaticDinotopia, Journey to Chandara: https://www.amazon.com/Dinotopia-Journey-Chandara-Calla-Editions/dp/1606601008/ref=sr_1_3PatrickRed Bull Creepers: https://www.redbull.com/us-en/events/red-bull-creepers-usaThat Escalated Quickly: https://www.explodingkittens.com/products/that-escalated-quicklySeatGuru: https://www.seatguru.com/Twitch - Live Every Monday at 7pmhttps://www.twitch.tv/mof1podcast Watch us live on Twitch every Monday at 7pm CT: https://www.twitch.tv/mof1podcast

D&P Highlight: Gen Z is ditching cereal, Dana is a big fan of McDonald's oatmeal, Hour 4 08/05/2025 full 380 Tue, 05 Aug 2025 19:03:00 +0000 UKF5fj5OFv5lUFeSpdHHGVwLgekcU8tm kansas city,kmbz,dana and parks,news & politics,news The Dana & Parks Podcast kansas city,kmbz,dana and parks,news & politics,news D&P Highlight: Gen Z is ditching cereal, Dana is a big fan of McDonald's oatmeal, Hour 4 08/05/2025 You wanted it... Now here it is! Listen to each hour of the Dana & Parks Show whenever and wherever you want! © 2025 Audacy, Inc. News & Politics News False

In this electrifying episode of The Ben and Skin Show, hosts Ben Rogers, Jeff “Skin” Wade, Kevin “KT” Turner, and Krystina Ray deliver a whirlwind of sports drama, bizarre news, and hilarious banter—all live from the heart of Texas.

Grace and Alvina do a mid-year check in to see how they're doing on their new year's resolutions! They talk about their words of the year, and give updates on their goals and aspirations. For the Fortune Cookie Segment, they talk about the seven types of friends everyone needs. And, Alvina tells Grace about the middle grade book SILVERBORN by Jessica Townsend. And they end as always with what they're grateful for. S ee complete show notes at www.bookfriendsforever.com.  Click here to become a Patreon member: https://www.patreon.com/Bookfriendsforever1.  See info about Grace's new book "The Gate, the Girl, and the Dragon": https://linktr.ee/gracelinauthor.  Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bookfriendsforever_podcast/

"IT WAS A USED CAR!" Bob Ryan loves cauliflower, Peter Gammons Day at the Sox game, and the local broadcast's promotion for Greg Cote Night. Man... a lot of old, white guys today, huh? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices