A Fostered Life Podcast

If you happen to follow my YouTube channel, you may have seen last week's episode entitled “5 Facts about Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders.” If you haven't had a chance to watch that yet, I encourage you to check it out, because it will give you some of the background on the topic we're going to be focusing on in this episode, which is FASD.    Natalie Vecchione is an FASD parent advocate, podcaster, author, and, most importantly, a wife and homeschool mom of two. Natalie and her husband, John, built their family through domestic adoption. Their son, who is 19, lives with a FASD (Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder). He has graduated from homeschool and he is a part time carpentry apprentice. Their typically developing daughter is 6 and they have a much different adoption journey with her, as they are very close with their daughter's birth mom. Natalie turned her family's unique challenges and journey with FASD from career reinventing into a calling when she and her husband began FASD Hope in 2020.    LINKS REFERENCED IN THIS EPISODE

Special Thanks to my Patrons for supporting A Fostered Life! Episode 24 In the non-adoptive world, where people only know of adoption but have not actually lived as part of an adoption story, there is often a romanticization of adoption. Adoption is often sentimentalized and treated as a “happily ever after” story. But anyone living inside of an adoption story knows that adoption is a really complex topic with multiple lifelong ramifications, and there is no single “Adoption Narrative.” And while there is a growing body of work that focuses on transracial adoption and amplifying adoptees' voices, the unique perspective of Black adoptees and Black adoptive parents and Black birth parents is one that we don't hear much about.  Dr. Samantha Coleman and Sandria Washington aim to change that. After years of friendship, Dr. Sam and Sandria both discovered as adults they were adopted. Each quickly learned that Black adoption is an inaccurate conversation that often occurs through the voice of everybody except Black adoptees. They kept asking the question, "If every birth has a story, why is no one telling ours?" In 2019, Dr. Sam and Sandria partnered to create Black to the Beginning, an initiative to amplify the Black adoption conversation. Through videos, interviews, and social media connections using #BLACKANDADOPTED, Black to the Beginning aims to support, connect with, and amplify adoptees in the Black community. (One thing I'll clarify before you get into the interview is that I was sitting in a room that got increasingly dark as we were talking and I realized that in my new office, I did not have a lamp or light. I usually work during the day, but we did our interview by Skype at night and by the end of the call, they could barely see me. We had a good laugh about that at the end of the interview, so I wanted to explain so it would make sense when we get to that part of our conversation.) I loved talking with Dr. Sam and Sandria and I'm so excited about what they're doing with Black to the Beginning and the community they are serving with this resource, and I hope you enjoy our conversation as much as I did. Black to the Beginning on Instagram Black to the Beginning on Twitter # # # Be sure to subscribe to A Fostered Life podcast so you don't miss a single episode. For more information and resources for foster parents, please visit afosteredlife.com, where you'll find blog posts, recommended reading, youtube videos, and social media links all designed to help foster parents feel more equipped for their foster care journey. It's my prayer that no foster parent ever feels like they're going at it alone.  If you're a foster parent who is feeling like you're out there on your own, consider joining The Flourishig Foster Parent, a community designed to encourage, equip and connect foster parents. If you're enjoying this podcast, please take a moment to rate A Fostered Life on iTunes. It would help me out so much. Thanks for listening and thanks for caring about foster care. *Let's Socialize* PATREON: http://www.patreon.com/afosteredlife FACEBOOK: http://www.facebook.com/afosteredlife INSTAGRAM: http://www.instagram.com/afosteredlife WEBSITE: http://www.afosteredlife.com YOUTUBE: http://www.youtube.com/afosteredlife 

Special Thanks to my Patrons for supporting A Fostered Life! Episode 23 When people think about foster care, we usually imagine children removed from situations where they are being severely abused or neglected by their natural parents. We hear stories in the news about examples of horrific abuse or neglect, and we celebrate that these children have been rescued and placed in a loving and safe foster home.  But this narrative, while certainly sometimes true, is an oversimplification of the circumstances that lead to children being removed from their parents. It might surprise you to know that about half of the children in foster care have an intellectual disability that can make caring for them difficult. If we're willing to go upstream of the foster care system, we would likely find families that could actually remain intact with some outside help. In the foster care world, this is known as “family preservation.” An important questions we should be asking is, “How could this child have avoided being in foster care in the first place?” What can be done for a family in crisis before they become a family in crisis? In today's episode, I'm speaking with Whitney King, a Behavioral Specialist and CEO of LEAF Behavior Support, LLC, whose life and work is devoted to supporting nontraditional families impacted by intellectual, developmental, learning, and/or mental health challenges. In this conversation, we took a deep dive into the challenges of parenting children with special needs and how being part of someone's village of support could make all the difference in helping keep families together.  I really appreciated Whitney's perspective, and I hope you enjoy our conversation as much as I did!  # # # Be sure to subscribe to A Fostered Life podcast so you don't miss a single episode. For more information and resources for foster parents, please visit afosteredlife.com, where you'll find blog posts, recommended reading, youtube videos, and social media links all designed to help foster parents feel more equipped for their foster care journey. It's my prayer that no foster parent ever feels like they're going at it alone.  If you're a foster parent who is feeling like you're out there on your own, consider joining The Flourishig Foster Parent, a community designed to encourage, equip and connect foster parents. If you're enjoying this podcast, please take a moment to rate A Fostered Life on iTunes. It would help me out so much. Thanks for listening and thanks for caring about foster care. *Let's Socialize* PATREON: http://www.patreon.com/afosteredlife FACEBOOK: http://www.facebook.com/afosteredlife INSTAGRAM: http://www.instagram.com/afosteredlife WEBSITE: http://www.afosteredlife.com YOUTUBE: http://www.youtube.com/afosteredlife 

Special Thanks to my Patrons for supporting A Fostered Life! Episode 22 It's June, the month when many families celebrate Father's Day, and in today's episode, we're focusing specifically on the role of foster fathers. My guest Jason Johnson is a writer and speaker who encourages families and equips churches in their foster care and adoption journeys. Jason currently serves as the Director of Church Ministry Initiatives with Christian Alliance for Orphans, where he speaks and teaches at churches, conferences, forums and workshops, as well as encouraging families that are in the trenches and those who are considering getting involved. Jason and his wife, Emily live in Texas with their daughters. He has authored 3 books: Reframing Foster Care, Everyone Can do Something, and ALL IN Orphan Care and he blogs regularly at www.jasonjohnsonblog.com. I really appreciated Jason's perspective as a foster father and I hope you enjoy our conversation as much as I did!   # # # Be sure to subscribe to A Fostered Life podcast so you don't miss a single episode. For more information and resources for foster parents, please visit afosteredlife.com, where you'll find blog posts, recommended reading, youtube videos, and social media links all designed to help foster parents feel more equipped for their foster care journey. It's my prayer that no foster parent ever feels like they're going at it alone.  If you're a foster parent who is feeling like you're out there on your own, consider joining The Flourishig Foster Parent, a community designed to encourage, equip and connect foster parents. If you're enjoying this podcast, please take a moment to rate A Fostered Life on iTunes. It would help me out so much. Thanks for listening and thanks for caring about foster care. *Let's Socialize* PATREON: http://www.patreon.com/afosteredlife FACEBOOK: http://www.facebook.com/afosteredlife INSTAGRAM: http://www.instagram.com/afosteredlife WEBSITE: http://www.afosteredlife.com YOUTUBE: http://www.youtube.com/afosteredlife 

 Special Thanks to my Patrons for supporting A Fostered Life! Episode 21 It's June, which means that Father's Day is upon us. For many children in foster care, Father's Day is a loaded holiday. Some have never met their fathers, if their fathers have even been identified. Others have fathers who are completely “out of the picture,” meaning they are no longer involved or engaged with their children's lives. But why is that so common? Do the dads just not care?  My guest today is going to challenge every preconceived notion you have of the men whose children are in foster care. Marvin Charles has emerged as a community and national leader in  creating stronger fathers and healthier families. Because of his own powerful story of separation from and then reunification with his own family, parents and children, and his 15+ years of helping others reclaim the positive role of fathers to their families, he is an experienced and trusted mentor and advisor. He has traveled all over the U.S. to speak about empowering fathers, to learn from other national leaders and to share our successes with other organizations hoping to implement fatherhood programs. Marvin Charles is an ordained minister and his extraordinary effectiveness comes from his ability to see through the pain and threats of those he counsels to the powerful change made possible by embracing a living God and larger purpose.  Today's podcast features a man who stands as living proof of what's possible for the men whose children are in foster care. As a foster parent, I am humbled and challenged by his story, and I hope you enjoy our conversation as much as I did!  To read more about Marvin Charles's remarkable story, check out these stories from The Seattle Times: 'Baby, I'm So Sorry' -- Woman Finds Child She Lost 43 Years Ago; He Grew Up Blocks Away (Seattle Times, August 12, 1999) South Seattle's DADS Unites Men in Fatherhood and Brotherhood (Seattle Times, March 20, 2017)   Be sure to subscribe to A Fostered Life podcast so you don't miss a single episode. For more information and resources for foster parents, please visit afosteredlife.com, where you'll find blog posts, recommended reading, youtube videos, and social media links all designed to help foster parents feel more equipped for their foster care journey. It's my prayer that no foster parent ever feels like they're going at it alone.  If you're a foster parent who is feeling like you're out there on your own, consider joining The Flourishig Foster Parent, a community designed to encourage, equip and connect foster parents. If you're enjoying this podcast, please take a moment to rate A Fostered Life on iTunes. It would help me out so much. Thanks for listening and thanks for caring about foster care. *Let's Socialize* PATREON: http://www.patreon.com/afosteredlife FACEBOOK: http://www.facebook.com/afosteredlife INSTAGRAM: http://www.instagram.com/afosteredlife WEBSITE: http://www.afosteredlife.com YOUTUBE: http://www.youtube.com/afosteredlife 

 Special Thanks to my Patrons for supporting A Fostered Life! Episode 20 Anyone who is involved with the world of adoption knows that adoption has lifelong implications for everyone involved: birth parents, adoptive parents, and, of course, the people who are adopted from one family into another. Until very recently, adoption was almost always shrouded in secrecy. The link between the birth parent and the adopted person was held in file boxes on the shelves of adoption agencies, paperwork that connected the adopted child to the parent or parents they came from. In order to access that information, adoptees and birth parents had to pay money. Had to know where to start. And had to rely on the cooperation of whomever received their request for information.  Nowadays, we recognize the importance of transparency in adoption and the benefits of a child knowing about their birth family and even having relationships with them. Most adoptions today are open, with contact between birth and adoptive families, but that leaves thousands of adopted adults with gaping holes in their life stories. In response to this, in 2018, Amara, a foster care and adoption agency in Seattle,  launched Project Search and Reunion, a ground-breaking initiative that aims to audit 3,100 of their own adoption files between the years of 1950 and 2000 to ensure that adoptees and birth families receive the information and support they requested, especially in regard to searching.   In March, just before the world shut down and we all went into quarantine, I had a chance to hear a presentation about this important work, and in today's episode of the podcast, I'm speaking with Rena Konomis, a Washington state court appointed Confidential Intermediary and Project Director of Project and Search and Reunion. In this episode, Rena explains the goal of the project and why it matters for everyone involved with the world of adoption. I hope you enjoy our conversation as much as I did!  Be sure to subscribe to A Fostered Life podcast so you don't miss a single episode. For more information and resources for foster parents, please visit afosteredlife.com, where you'll find blog posts, recommended reading, youtube videos, and social media links all designed to help foster parents feel more equipped for their foster care journey. It's my prayer that no foster parent ever feels like they're going at it alone.  If you're a foster parent who is feeling like you're out there on your own, consider joining The Flourishig Foster Parent, a community designed to encourage, equip and connect foster parents. If you're enjoying this podcast, please take a moment to rate A Fostered Life on iTunes. It would help me out so much. Thanks for listening and thanks for caring about foster care. *Let's Socialize* PATREON: http://www.patreon.com/afosteredlife FACEBOOK: http://www.facebook.com/afosteredlife INSTAGRAM: http://www.instagram.com/afosteredlife WEBSITE: http://www.afosteredlife.com YOUTUBE: http://www.youtube.com/afosteredlife 

  Special Thanks to my Patrons for supporting A Fostered Life! Episode 19 You don't need me to tell you that we are living in unbelievable times. The world is, in many ways, at a stand-still while people are strongly encouraged and even mandated in some places to stay home in order to flatten the curve of the spread of COVID-19. While this time of social distancing is affecting every sector of our world, for children in foster care and their parents, this season of quarantine means the suspension of in-person visitation, which is an integral part of reunification efforts. In some areas, visits are suspended altogether at the moment, but in most places, from what I can tell, families are now having all of their visits virtually.  I've received questions from a number of foster parents who are trying for figure out how to handle virtual visits. Virtual visits place a greater responsibility on foster parents. Whereas in normal circumstances the foster parent is not involved with family visits, under current circumstances, foster parents have to be very involved. One caregiver reported to me that instead of weekend visits that happen for several hours and give the foster parents a break, their kids now have hour-long visits every weeknight that have to be managed by the foster parents. For that family, at least, these visits are disruptive for everyone involved—the foster parents, the children who have to drop what they're doing each evening and get on the phone, and for the parents of the children, who find it challenging to maintain the schedule.  I thought it might be helpful to hear from a few foster parents who are currently managing virtual visits for their foster youth and their parents, so in this episode you'll be hearing from five foster parents in California, Oregon, Indiana, Virginia, and Maine. I asked them to tell me a bit about what visits looked like before the time of the virus, and how they look now. This episode features the voices of foster parents, but I would also love to hear from — and give my platform to — parents whose children are in foster care, who are trying to stay connected with their kids now that many, if not all, states have banned in-person visits. If you or someone you know are a parent whose child is in foster care, and you would like to share about your experiences on this podcast, please contact me.  Be sure to subscribe to A Fostered Life podcast so you don't miss a single episode. For more information and resources for foster parents, please visit afosteredlife.com, where you'll find blog posts, recommended reading, youtube videos, and social media links all designed to help foster parents feel more equipped for their foster care journey. It's my prayer that no foster parent ever feels like they're going at it alone.  If you're a foster parent who is feeling like you're out there on your own, consider joining The Flourishig Foster Parent, a community designed to encourage, equip and connect foster parents. If you're enjoying this podcast, please take a moment to rate A Fostered Life on iTunes. It would help me out so much. Thanks for listening and thanks for caring about foster care. *Let's Socialize* PATREON: http://www.patreon.com/afosteredlife FACEBOOK: http://www.facebook.com/afosteredlife INSTAGRAM: http://www.instagram.com/afosteredlife WEBSITE: http://www.afosteredlife.com YOUTUBE: http://www.youtube.com/afosteredlife 

Like this podcast? Please rate it on iTunes and become a $1+ patron on Patreon! Click here to learn more. Special Thanks to my Patron for supporting A Fostered Life! Episode 18 When most people think of foster parenting, we think children who are experiencing neglect or abuse being removed from their parents and placed with someone else—either a foster parent or a relative caregiver. But there is another type of foster care that many people don't know about.  Every day, over 40,000 families around the world are forced to flee their homes due to community violence, war, famine, natural disasters, and persecution. Unfortunately, many children become separated from their parents or primary caregivers due to death, illness, or imprisonment, and find themselves living in refugee camps, sometimes for years.  For refugee minors, the U.S. State Department identifies children overseas who are eligible for resettlement in the U.S., but do not have a parent or a relative available and committed to providing for their long-term care. Upon arrival in the U.S., these refugee children are placed into the Unaccompanied Refugee Minors (URM) program and receive refugee foster care services and benefits. My guest in today's episode is Barbara Tantrum, who is a trauma and attachment therapist as well as a refugee foster parent. I invited her on the podcast to share about this unique form of foster care and to give some insights to folks who might feel called to provide safe and loving long-term homes for children who are currently living in refugee resettlement camps overseas. If you are interested in learning more about this program, I'm including links in the show notes for this episode to the U.S. Administraion for Children and Famililes web site, where you can search refugee foster care to learn more. Barbara also has a new book coming out this fall called The Adoptive Parents' Handbook: A Guide to Healing Trauma and Thriving with Your Foster or Adopted Child. The book will be released September 1, and you can pre-order your copy using this affiliate link or by going to afosteredlife.com/resources.  Barbara was our guest on a recent Flourishing Foster Parent Coaching Call in which the focus was on Helping Our Kids and Ourselves Process Grief. If you are interested in downloading that audio resource, it is part of The Flourishing Foster Parent Online Resource Library available for $10/month (cancel anytime).  I am so grateful for Barbara's willingness to join me today, I hope you enjoy this conversation as much as I did. Be sure to subscribe to A Fostered Life podcast so you don't miss a single episode. For more information and resources for foster parents, please visit afosteredlife.com, where you'll find blog posts, recommended reading, youtube videos, and social media links all designed to help foster parents feel more equipped for their foster care journey. It's my prayer that no foster parent ever feels like they're going at it alone.  If you're a foster parent who is feeling like you're out there on your own, consider joining The Flourishig Foster Parent, a community designed to encourage, equip and connect foster parents. If you're enjoying this podcast, please take a moment to rate A Fostered Life on iTunes. It would help me out so much. Thanks for listening and thanks for caring about foster care. *Let's Socialize* PATREON: http://www.patreon.com/afosteredlife FACEBOOK: http://www.facebook.com/afosteredlife INSTAGRAM: http://www.instagram.com/afosteredlife WEBSITE: http://www.afosteredlife.com YOUTUBE: http://www.youtube.com/afosteredlife 

Like this podcast? Please rate it on iTunes and become a $1+ patron on Patreon! Click here to learn more. Special Thanks to my newest Patron, Maureen, for supporting A Fostered Life! Episode 17 I have lost count of the number of times someone has told me that they really want to be involved in foster care, and they really care about foster youth, but they are not in a season of life where they can be foster parents. They wonder how they can help. How can you make a difference in the life of a foster youth without being a foster parent? There are a number of ways to answer that question, and my guest in today's podcast is going to talk about two of them. Laura was a volunteer cuddler in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit for years before being introduced to a desperate need in the foster care system after caring for one particular baby for several months. She went through the training and eventually became a CASA - a Court Appointed Special Advocate. Over the six-plus years Laura has spent as a CASA, she has served twenty-three children, and in today's episode, she's going to share what that experience has been like and what you might expect if you are considering becoming a CASA. I am so grateful for the work that Laura and others have done, and I hope you enjoy this conversation as much as I did. # # # Be sure to subscribe to A Fostered Life podcast so you don't miss a single episode. For more information and resources for foster parents, please visit afosteredlife.com, where you'll find blog posts, recommended reading, youtube videos, and social media links all designed to help foster parents feel more equipped for their foster care journey. It's my prayer that no foster parent ever feels like they're going at it alone.  If you're a foster parent who is feeling like you're out there on your own, consider joining The Flourishig Foster Parent, a community designed to encourage, equip and connect foster parents. If you're enjoying this podcast, please take a moment to rate A Fostered Life on iTunes. It would help me out so much. Thanks for listening and thanks for caring about foster care. *Let's Socialize* PATREON: http://www.patreon.com/afosteredlife FACEBOOK: http://www.facebook.com/afosteredlife INSTAGRAM: http://www.instagram.com/afosteredlife WEBSITE: http://www.afosteredlife.com YOUTUBE: http://www.youtube.com/afosteredlife     

A listener shared some really important feedback on my interview with Kevin, a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. I thought what she shared was really important and wanted to pass it on. Recorded live at Chicago O'Hare Airport.

Like this podcast? Please rate it on iTunes and become a $1+ patron on Patreon! Click here to learn more. Special Thanks to Patrons Shelley & Joyce for supporting A Fostered Life Podcast! Episode 16 MaLisa Riley is an author and entrepreneur who draws from her own experience as a youth in foster care to produce resources aimed at helping children in challenging circumstances use their imagination as they process some of the harder aspects of their reality. Her first children's book, “Tommy's 2 Mommies,” was published in 2019. The story follows young Tommy as he goes between his mom and his foster momma on a weekend visit to his mother's treatment center. “Tommy's 2 Mommies” features gorgeous illustrations by Roey Cancio is available on Amazon, and you can also find a link on A Fostered Life's Recommended Resources page. MaLisa shared about her experiences in foster care, as well as her reflections on being adopted at the age of twelve and then reconnecting with her parents as an adult.  As a foster and adoptive parent, I found MaLisa's perspective and openness so insightful, and I hope you enjoy our conversation as much as I did. Be sure to subscribe to A Fostered Life podcast so you don't miss a single episode. For more information and resources for foster parents, please visit afosteredlife.com, where you'll find blog posts, recommended reading, youtube videos, and social media links all designed to help foster parents feel more equipped for their foster care journey. It's my prayer that no foster parent ever feels like they're going at it alone.  If you're a foster parent who is feeling like you're out there on your own, consider joining The Flourishig Foster Parent, a community designed to encourage, equip and connect foster parents. If you're enjoying this podcast, please take a moment to rate A Fostered Life on iTunes. It would help me out so much. Thanks for listening and thanks for caring about foster care. *Let's Socialize* PATREON: http://www.patreon.com/afosteredlife FACEBOOK: http://www.facebook.com/afosteredlife INSTAGRAM: http://www.instagram.com/afosteredlife WEBSITE: http://www.afosteredlife.com YOUTUBE: http://www.youtube.com/afosteredlife 

Like this podcast? Please rate it on iTunes and become a $1+ patron on Patreon! Click here to learn more. Episode 15 One of the things I have been so grateful for over the past few years is connecting with former foster youth who are willing and eager to share about their experiences in foster care in order to shine light on what it's like to be in foster care, and to de-stigmatize what it means to be a foster kid. In 2018, I heard an interview on Oregon Public Radio with Cherie Renee, a woman who was in foster care until she aged out of the system. Today, Cherie is a blogger who describes herself as a "child abuse survivor and former foster child who is using her life as an inspiration to others," as well as a "dog mom" and "proud Jew." You can follow Cherie's blog here and her Instagram account here. I was so glad to connect with Cherie by phone recently, and and I'm thrilled that she agreed to be my guest on this podcast. I hope you enjoy our conversation as much as I did! Be sure to subscribe to A Fostered Life podcast so you don't miss a single episode. For more information and resources for foster parents, please visit afosteredlife.com, where you'll find blog posts, recommended reading, youtube videos, and social media links all designed to help foster parents feel more equipped for their foster care journey. It's my prayer that no foster parent ever feels like they're going at it alone.  If you're a foster parent who is feeling like you're out there on your own, consider joining The Flourishig Foster Parent, a community designed to encourage, equip and connect foster parents. If you're enjoying this podcast, please take a moment to rate A Fostered Life on iTunes. It would help me out so much. Thanks for listening and thanks for caring about foster care. *Let's Socialize* PATREON: http://www.patreon.com/afosteredlife FACEBOOK: http://www.facebook.com/afosteredlife INSTAGRAM: http://www.instagram.com/afosteredlife WEBSITE: http://www.afosteredlife.com YOUTUBE: http://www.youtube.com/afosteredlife 

Like this podcast? Please rate it on iTunes and become a $1+ patron on Patreon! Click here to learn more. Episode 14 In Episode 13 of A Fostered Life Podcast, I interviewed author Jillana Goble about her book, “No Sugar Coating: The Coffee Talk You Need about Foster Parenting.” I announced in that episode that I would be giving away four copies of the book to four of my Patreon supporters. In this episode, I'm trying out my new Blue Yeti microphone as my mom draws the winning names from a baseball hat! Congratulations to the four listeners and supporters who won this month's giveaway! Be sure to subscribe to A Fostered Life podcast so you don't miss a single episode. For more information and resources for foster parents, please visit afosteredlife.com, where you'll find blog posts, recommended reading, youtube videos, and social media links all designed to help foster parents feel more equipped for their foster care journey. It's my prayer that no foster parent ever feels like they're going at it alone.  If you're a foster parent who is feeling like you're out there on your own, consider joining The Flourishig Foster Parent, a community designed to encourage, equip and connect foster parents. If you're enjoying this podcast, please take a moment to rate A Fostered Life on iTunes. It would help me out so much. Thanks for listening and thanks for caring about foster care. *Let's Socialize* PATREON: http://www.patreon.com/afosteredlife FACEBOOK: http://www.facebook.com/afosteredlife INSTAGRAM: http://www.instagram.com/afosteredlife WEBSITE: http://www.afosteredlife.com YOUTUBE: http://www.youtube.com/afosteredlife 

Like this podcast? Please rate it on iTunes and become a $1+ patron on Patreon! Click here to learn more. Episode 13 A few months ago, someone on Facebook alerted me to a new book by Jillana Goble called, “No Sugar Coating: The Coffee Talk You Need about Foster Parenting.” I got my hands on the book and as I read it, I kept nodding my head in agreement with the author. Our experiences have been very similar, and if I were going to write a book for new and prospective foster parents, it would look a lot like this book. It's a short read—you'll finish it in a day or two—but it's full of relevant information and helpful insights for anyone considering becoming a foster parent. “No Sugar Coating” is available on Amazon [affiliate link]. Click here to follow Jillana's Facebook page and web site. I was so impressed with “No Sugar Coating,” that I ordered several copies to give away to a few of my Patreon supporters! If you would like to be entered for your chance to win one of five copies of the book, go to my Patreon page and become a patron of A Fostered Life. You can pledge any amount you want, starting at $1 per month. Everyone who is a patron as of January 1, 2020 will be entered to win!  Be sure to subscribe to A Fostered Life podcast so you don't miss a single episode. For more information and resources for foster parents, please visit afosteredlife.com, where you'll find blog posts, recommended reading, youtube videos, and social media links all designed to help foster parents feel more equipped for their foster care journey. It's my prayer that no foster parent ever feels like they're going at it alone.  If you're a foster parent who is feeling like you're out there on your own, consider joining The Flourishig Foster Parent, a community designed to encourage, equip and connect foster parents. If you're enjoying this podcast, please take a moment to rate A Fostered Life on iTunes. It would help me out so much. Thanks for listening and thanks for caring about foster care. *Let's Socialize* PATREON: http://www.patreon.com/afosteredlife FACEBOOK: http://www.facebook.com/afosteredlife INSTAGRAM: http://www.instagram.com/afosteredlife WEBSITE: http://www.afosteredlife.com YOUTUBE: http://www.youtube.com/afosteredlife 

Like this podcast? Please rate it on iTunes and become a $1+ patron on Patreon! Click here to learn more. Episode 12 In the last episode (Episode 11), I introduced you to Tonya Foulkrod. Our conversation covered a lot of ground, so I broke it up into two parts. In Episode 11, which was Part One, we heard about Tonya's early experience as a foster parent and how she and her husband became involved with the mother of the child who was placed in their care, leading them to start a ministry focused on offering a more holistic way to support families in crisis. In this episode, which is Part Two of our interview, we learn more about  what Three Strands does and how their community approach to supporting families in crisis offers struggling parents wraparound support to help them gain skills and cultivate relationships that significantly improve their chances of reunification. Be sure to subscribe to A Fostered Life podcast so you don't miss a single episode! For more information and resources for foster parents, please visit afosteredlife.com, where you'll find blog posts, recommended reading, youtube videos, and social media links all designed to help foster parents feel more equipped for their foster care journey. It's my prayer that no foster parent ever feels like they're going at it alone. If  you enjoy this podcast and you're interested in supporting my work at A Fostered Life, please go to afosteredlife.com and click on the tab “Support My Work.” That will take you to my Patreon page, where you can become a patron of the podcast and YouTube channel. Just one dollar a month helps offset the cost of producing these resources and enables me to offer them freely to new and prospective foster parents. I'm so grateful for the support of my patrons. I also give a few perks to my patrons, so please head over to Patreon and check it out. If you're a foster parent who is feeling like you're out there on your own, consider joining The Flourishing Foster Parent, a community designed to encourage, equip and connect foster parents. One more thing, if you're enjoying this podcast, please take a moment to rate A Fostered Life on iTunes. It would help me out so much. Thanks for listening and thanks for caring about foster care. Be sure to subscribe to A Fostered Life podcast so you don't miss Part Two or any other episode. *Let's Socialize* PATREON: http://www.patreon.com/afosteredlife FACEBOOK: http://www.facebook.com/afosteredlife INSTAGRAM: http://www.instagram.com/afosteredlife WEBSITE: http://www.afosteredlife.com YOUTUBE: http://www.youtube.com/afosteredlife 

Like this podcast? Please rate us on iTunes and become a $1+ patron on Patreon! Click here to learn more.   Episode 11   Foster parents are not typically encouraged to be intimately involved with the parents of the children who come into our care. While we are encouraged to “support reunification efforts,” and it is suggested that we do things like send a journal back and forth to visits or share occasional pictures, usually there is a significant disconnect and even animosity between foster parents and their foster child's mom and or dad.   My guest in today's episode is Tonya Foulkrod, a foster mom who found herself unexpectedly involved with not only the child placed in her care, but that child's mother as well. After cultivating a relationship and walking their new friend through the process of reunification, Tonya and her husband, Jay, knew that they could never go back to being traditional foster parents. Instead, they enlisted their church community and started an organization called Three Strands, a nine week, faith-based parenting program offered by local churches and volunteers to families in crisis.   Three Strands is for parents who have lost custody of their children, or who are at risk of losing custody, and are working toward family reunification and preservation.   Our conversation covered a lot of ground, so I am offering it to you in two parts. In this episode, which is Part One, we'll cover Tonya's early experience as a foster parent and hear how she and her husband became involved with the mother of the child who was placed in their care, leading them to start a ministry focused on offering a more holistic way to support families in crisis. In Part Two, we'll get into the nuts and bolts of what Three Strands does and how their community approach to supporting families in crisis helps struggling parents gain skills and cultivate relationships that significantly improve their chances of reunification and set them up for long-term success.   I loved hearing about this couple's journey and how they are making a difference in the lives of so many families. If you want to learn more about Three Strands, go to www.frcoalition.org and click on “Three Strands.” And now, Part One of my conversation with Tonya Foulkrod.   Be sure to subscribe to A Fostered Life podcast so you don't miss Part Two or any other episode.   For more information and resources for foster parents, please visit afosteredlife.com, where you'll find blog posts, recommended books and resources, youtube videos, and social media links so you can connect with others on the foster parenting journey. I'd like to take a moment and give a patron shout out to Brianne, who's been a patron of A Fostered Life since August. If enjoy this podast and you're interested in supporting my work at A Fostered Life, please go to afosteredlife.com and click on the tab “Support My Work.” That will take you to my Patreon page, where you can become a patron. Just one dollar a month helps offset the cost of producing these resources and enables me to offer them freely to new and prospective foster parents, and I'm grateful for the support of my patrons. I also give a few perks to my patrons, so please head over to Patreon and check it out. One more thing, if you're enjoying this podcast, please take a moment to rate A Fostered Life on iTunes. It would help me out so much. Thanks for listening and thanks for caring about foster care.   *Let's Socialize* PATREON: http://www.patreon.com/afosteredlife FACEBOOK: http://www.facebook.com/afosteredlife INSTAGRAM: http://www.instagram.com/afosteredlife WEBSITE: http://www.afosteredlife.com YOUTUBE: http://www.youtube.com/afosteredlife   

Like this podcast? Please rate us on iTunes and become a $1+ patron on Patreon! Click here to learn more. Episode 10 According to the Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network, or RAINN, one in 9 girls and 1 in 53 boys under the age of 18 experience sexual abuse or assault at the hands of an adult. The effects of child sexual abuse can be long-lasting and can have a profound affect on the victim's mental health. Victims are four times more likely than non-victims to develop symptoms of drug abuse and/or experience PTSD as adults, and they're three times more likely to experience a major depressive episode as adults. Out of the 63,000 sexual abuse cases substantiated by Child Protective Services each year, 80% of perpetrators of sexual violence against children were parents. Many of those children are placed in foster care, and it is vital for foster parents to be equipped to support children who have been traumatized sexually. My guest in today's episode is Kevin, a man who knows all too well how being sexually abused as a child affects a person's life. As he shares from his experience, Kevin offers invaluable insight and advice for those of us who may be called on to care for children who are victims of sexual violence.  I'm so grateful for Kevin's transparency, vulnerability, and willingness to share about this extremely hard topic, and I know you'll gain as much from  this conversation as I did. Kevin's Suggested Resources for Victims of Sexual Trauma and Abuse Books*:  “Victims No Longer” by Mike Lew “Not Quite Healed” by Cecil Murphy and Gary Roe “Beyond Betrayal” by Richard B Gartner “Writing Ourselves Whole” by Jen Cross “The Courage To Heal; A Guide for Women Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse” by Ellen Bass and Laura Davis   Websites: malesurvivor.org livingwell.org   Podcasts: MPower Survivors Healing Warriors Male Abuse Survivors Beyond Surviving with Rachel Grant   Crisis Lines: National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 crisisconnections.org 24hr Crisis Line 206-461-3222, local 7-1-1, WA relay 866-4CRISIS national For more information and resources for foster parents, please visit afosteredlife.com, where you'll find blog posts, youtube videos, and social media links so you can connect with others on the foster parenting journey. If you're interested in supporting my work at A Fostered Life, please go my Patreon page, where you can become a patron. Just one dollar a month helps offset the cost of producing these resources and enables me to offer them freely to new and prospective foster parents, and I'm grateful for the support of my patrons. Thanks for listening and thanks for caring about foster care. *Amazon Affiliate Links

Like this podcast? Please rate us on iTunes and become a $1+ patron on Patreon! Click here to learn more. Episode 9    One of the things many people say when they hear that I'm a foster parent is, “I couldn't imagine getting attached to a child and then having to give them back.” While I can appreciate that people are just expressing their honest feelings, the truth is, that sentiment shows a total lack of understanding about the main point of foster care, which is precisely to love a child to the point of getting attached and then “giving them back” to their parents. Reunification is the first goal of foster care. When a child is removed from their parents, usually the plan is to provide a safe and loving and nurturing home for them while their parents do the hard work of getting to a place where they can safely parent their children again. It's messy. It's an emotional roller coaster. And it's not always possible. Just over half of children in foster care will be reunified. The rest will be raised by relatives, adopted by foster parents, or remain in foster care until they “age out.”  One thing I've learned over the years is that foster parents can play a crucial role in supporting reunification, and in today's podcast, I'm speaking with a fellow foster parent named Lauren who did just that. The focus of today's episode is how foster parents can be intentional and proactive in supporting the mothers (and/or in some cases fathers) of the children in their care, championing their efforts to get their children back. Let me be very clear, though, before we launch into this conversation: this is often the hardest part of foster parenting. The emotional toll is high, and the grief a foster family experiences after reunification is real.  I'm grateful that Lauren shared from her experiences with me, and I hope you enjoy our conversation as much as I did. Mentioned in this episode: Suddenly Siblings: https://www.facebook.com/suddenlysiblings/ Family Meeting Video from A Fostered Life: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tOgFoXo_3d0&t=35s For more information and resources for foster parents, please visit afosteredlife.com, where you'll find blog posts, youtube videos, and social media links so you can connect with others on the foster parenting journey. If you're interested in supporting my work at A Fostered Life, please go my Patreon page, where you can become a patron. Just one dollar a month helps offset the cost of producing these resources and enables me to offer them freely to new and prospective foster parents, and I'm grateful for the support of my patrons. Thanks for listening and thanks for caring about foster care.

Like this podcast? Become a $1+ patron! Click here to learn more. Episode 8  Bryan Post is one of America's foremost child behavior experts and he's the co-founder of The Post Institute for Family-Centered Therapy. The Post Institute works with adults, children and families struggling with early life trauma and the impact on the development of the mind/body system. Bryan has authored or co-authored several books, including From Fear to Love: Parenting Difficult Adopted Children and Beyond Consequences, Logic, and Control: A Love-Based Approach to Helping Attachment-Challenged Children With Severe Behaviors, which is on my “Must Read” list and was the focus of The Flourishing Foster Parent's Summer Book Series. The Post Institute also has a vibrant Facebook community, where Bryan publishes “Bryan Post's Daily Dose,” short words of guidance and encouragement for parents who care for challenging children. My family has benefitted so much from the work of Bryan and his team, and I was thrilled when he accepted my invitation to be today's guest. For more information and resources for foster parents, please visit afosteredlife.com, where you'll find blog posts, youtube videos, and social media links so you can connect with others on the foster parenting journey. If you're interested in supporting my work at A Fostered Life, please go my Patreon page, where you can become a patron. Just one dollar a month helps offset the cost of producing these resources and enables me to offer them freely to new and prospective foster parents, and I'm grateful for the support of my patrons. Thanks for listening and thanks for caring about foster care.

When I put out a call recently for guests for this podcast, I was overwhelmed by the response. So many people have written to me, from social workers to foster parents to former foster youth, all willing to share a bit of their stories in order to help enlarge and shape foster parent's perspective on our role in the lives of the children in our care.   Today's guest is one such person, and I am so grateful to have had a chance to speak with her. Melissa Smallwood has such an amazing and redemptive story, beginning with her own experience as a youth in foster care. I don't want to tell you too much, because she did a great job of speaking for itself, but I will say this: it was so refreshing to speak with a woman who approaches life and family and what it means to be a foster parent with such love and compassion.  When you have a chance, take a moment to visit Melissa's web site, www.melissasmallwood.com. Our conversation today only scratched the surface, and she has so much to offer foster and adoptive moms especially. For more information and resources for foster parents, please visit afosteredlife.com, where you'll find blog posts, youtube videos, and social media links so you can connect with others on the foster parenting journey. If you're interested in supporting my work at A Fostered Life, please go my Patreon page, where you can become a patron. Just one dollar a month helps offset the cost of producing these resources and enables me to offer them freely to new and prospective foster parents, and I'm grateful for the support of my patrons. Thanks for listening and thanks for caring about foster care.

One of the things I've noticed over the years is that, while I have a lot to learn from other, more experienced foster parents, mental health professionals, books, etc., the people who have taught me more than anything about how to be a good foster parent or foster caregiver if you prefer is children who are or were in foster care. The kids who have come and gone from our home as well as adults who are former foster youth have taught me more than anyone about what it's like for kids in foster care and what they need most from those of us who step in to care for them when they are in trauma or transition. One of the things I love about this podcast is that it's giving me a chance to connect with people like today's guest—former foster youth who are willing to share from their experiences in order to help foster parents like me do a better job caring for our kids. Brittney entered foster care when she was 16, but her journey with the department of child services and CPS started way before that—years earlier. Brittney spent most of her childhood bouncing around between friends and family members, going from school to school (or sometimes not going to school at all), experiencing many forms of trauma and violence, before finally entering foster care as a teen. When she did, she landed in a home where her life changed dramatically for the better. As I listened to Brittney, I noticed a theme that comes up over and over when I hear from former foster youth, and that theme is presence. What foster youth need more than anything else when their own parents are unable or unwilling to care for them is a caring adult who is consistently present—someone who is there for them through thick and thin and able to give unconditional love and patient guidance.  It's so important for us foster parents to hear from those who have lived through the system. So with that, here's my conversation with Brittney. For more information and resources for foster parents, please visit afosteredlife.com, where you'll find blog posts, youtube videos, and social media links so you can connect with others on the foster parenting journey. If you're interested in supporting my work at A Fostered Life, please go my Patreon page, where you can become a patron. Just one dollar a month helps offset the cost of producing these resources and enables me to offer them freely to new and prospective foster parents, and I'm grateful for the support of my patrons. Thanks for listening and thanks for caring about foster care.

Welcome to A Fostered Life, the show in which we explore the various facets of foster care through the voices of the many people who participate in the system. I'm your host, Christy Tennant Krispin, and this is episode five.    It's back to school time, and for youth in foster care, that can either be a really good thing or a really, really hard thing (or a bit of both.) Today I'm speaking with Ernest Henderson, Associate Director of Eastern Washington Education Programs at Treehouse. Ernest not only brings the professional insights of someone who devotes his career to helping foster youth succeed in school, but he also brings a background of being a former foster youth and a former foster parent. In this episode we discuss some of the ways a foster parent can support their child in school, how to navigate communicating with your child's teachers and school personnel, and tips for preparing your foster youth to succeed in a new school. We also touched on positive discipline for youth in foster care and ways to empower and encourage our kids. Ernest mentioned a few things for foster parents to learn more about, including the Every Student Succeeds Act, and I've included several helpful links in the shownotes for this episode—so be sure to check those out. I really appreciated what Ernest had to share, and I hope you enjoy this conversation as much as I did!    Links discussed in this conversation include: Every Student Succeeds Act (ESSA) ESSA At a Glance—What You Need to Know Treehouse for Kids Treehouse Educational Advocacy   Contact Ernest Henderson, Jr: ernest.henderson@treehouseforkids.org   For more information and resources for foster parents, please visit afosteredlife.com, where you'll find blog posts, youtube videos, and social media links so you can connect with others on the foster parenting journey. If you're interested in supporting my work at A Fostered Life, please go my Patreon page, where you can become a patron. Just one dollar a month helps offset the cost of producing these resources and enables me to offer them freely to new and prospective foster parents, and I'm grateful for the support of my patrons. Thanks for listening and thanks for caring about foster care.

Be sure to subscribe! Episode 4   Today I'm speaking with Dena Johnson, an adoptive mother and trauma and attachment therapist who focuses her practice on counseling foster and adoptive families. The first time I heard Dena speak was at a conference for foster and adoptive parents several years ago. I was really struggling with some of the challenges of being a caregiver for children with a background of trauma, and I was so grateful for her honest, down-to-earth, approachable and hopeful tone and helpful practical insights for parents and caregivers. Dena shares really informative content about trauma-informed parenting on her Facebook Page at Dena Johnson Counseling, and today I asked Dena to talk a bit about what she would say to her younger self with the benefit of years of experience and hindsight. Dena offers transparency and vulnerability, letting us know we are not alone when we're facing challenges and struggles as we seek to serve our children with compassion and empathy. She's been a real blessing to me, and I hope you enjoy this conversation as much as I did.    For more resources for foster parents, including videos, articles, recommended resources, and more, visit www.afosteredlife.com.

Click Here to Subscribe to the Podcast! Episode 3 In 1988, a group of DSHS social workers grew tired of seeing the deprivation often faced by children in foster care. They started purchasing the little things needed to help children feel loved and capable—things like birthday presents and school supplies—funded by community bake sales and car washes. That little band of dedicated social workers evolved into what is known today in the state of Washington as Treehouse, an organization that helps more than 7,000 youth in foster care each year. Offering programs that focus on academic success, fulfilling key material needs and providing the important childhood experiences every child deserves are the focus of this organization, and in 2012, Treehouse embarked on a bold and ambitious goal to address the alarmingly high high school dropout rate among youth in foster care. Treehouse has acquired a track record of success in helping youth in foster care thrive, and today it's my pleasure to be speaking with two of Treehouse's finest team members: Launch Success Coach Alex Cornell and PR Specialist Jesse Colman. For more resources for foster parents, including videos, articles, recommended resources, and more, visit www.afosteredlife.com.

Be sure to subscribe to the podcast! Episode 2: Lacey entered foster care for the first time when she was six months old. After spending her entire childhood in and out of foster care, including attending thirteen (!!!) different elementary schools, Lacey was adopted just two weeks shy of her eighteenth birthday. Today, she is a wife and mother who is thriving in her forever family. Oh, and she and her husband just became licensed as foster parents, too! In this episode of A Fostered Life, Lacey and Christy chat about some of Lacey's experience as a foster youth, how she ended up being adopted, and what her relationship with her adoptive family is like now, twelve years later.  If you are hesitant about fostering teens, I know that listening to what Lacey has to say will inspire you to reconsider. There is so much to be gained by giving a teenager in foster care the security and love of a forever family and watching them heal over time.    For more resources for foster parents from A Fostered Life, visit www.afosteredlife.com.

Be sure to subscribe to the podcast! Episode 1: As a licensed master social worker, previous youth in foster care and current foster parent, Amber Jewell has a unique perspective on the foster care system and how it affects youth. In this inaugural episode of A Fostered Life, Amber sheds light on how being part of the system can affect youth in care, and she gives some helpful input on what teens in care need in order to thrive as they move into adulthood. Despite the hardships that come in life, Amber believes in the power of any individual, at any age to make positive changes, impact others and improve their phase of life. She has confidence in the ability of professionals to plant many seeds in the lives of those they serve, and she offers her input in this podcast to help foster parents grow and gain insight and skills in order to better serve the children in our care. To learn more about Amber or invite her to share her remarkable and inspirational story with your organization, visit her web site (www.ambermjewell.com). For more resources for foster parents from A Fostered Life, visit www.afosteredlife.com.

Welcome to A Fostered Life, the show in which we explore the various facets of foster care through the voices of the many people who participate in the system. Host Christy Tennant Krispin interviews former foster youth, social workers, foster parents, therapists, and others, and these conversations provide personal glimpses at the challenges and triumphs of families whose lives intersect with foster care. For foster parent resources from A Fostered Life, including videos, blog posts, and The Flourishing Foster Parent support community, please visit www.afosteredlife.com. (You can also leave feedback about the podcast there!)