Dawson's Creeps

Something to say? TEXT US, for GODS sake! We're back with the second half of Practical Magic I MEAN Gilmore Girls season 5, episode 7 ”You Jump, I Jump, Jack.” We simply must unpack a first kiss next to a sleeping butt, the Discreet Charm of the not-so-Bourgeoisie, and a terrifying round of golf. In Omnia Paratus!Support the showJoin our patreon!

Something to say? TEXT US, for GODS sake! Iceberg, right ahead! We're aiming our unsinkable ship at the first half of season 5, episode 7 “You Jump, I Jump, Jack.” Join us in the wheelhouse to track GG's various ships - some newly christened and some hitting stormy seas. Also… 9/11???Support the showJoin our patreon!

Something to say? TEXT US, for GODS sake! We're chewing the fat and cutting the cheese with our very off the cuff Secret Lives of Mormon Wives season 2 takes AND MORE. We'll meet you next week in our shared, escalating hellscape with another seminal Gilmore Girls episode. Support the showJoin our patreon!

Something to say? TEXT US, for GODS sake! We are finally consummating season five, episode three and this big bang will be “Written in the Stars” (part 2)! We'll hit up the town hall referendum on local business owners bumping uglies, the wake of an elderly lover, and end up back in… Dean's bed of sin??? Support the showJoin our patreon!

Something to say? TEXT US, for GODS sake! We are pants OFF and hair SPIKED for season five, episode three “Written in the Stars” part one! Your hosts are in an agony of titillation as Lorelai and Luke flirt their way into their first real date and Gabby has an uncomfortable and frankly irredeemable reaction to the introduction of Logan. Join us next week for the culmination of so. Many. Things.Support the showJoin our patreon!

Something to say? TEXT US, for GODS sake! LISTEN UP 5's, A 9 IS SPEAKING: Enneagram Boner EpGang, we need to talk about Enneagrams on main. Gather round as we discuss our types and generally shoot the poop about whatever's on our darling little minds. We'll be back anon with an electrifying return to Gilmore Girls season 5!Support the showJoin our patreon!

Something to say? TEXT US, for GODS sake! Throw your hockey stick out the window and bring in the marching band cause we're wrapping up the second episode of season five with “A Messenger, Nothing More” part 2! Get ready for Supernatural cul-de-sacs, roast beef franchise fantasies, electric sensuality, and so much more.Support the showJoin our patreon!

Something to say? TEXT US, for GODS sake! Just call us The Blur because we are STEAMING through the Gilmore Girls canon and blasting our way into season 5, episode 2 “A Messenger, Nothing More” part 1! We catch up with Luke supporting ye olde deadbeats, Lorelai channeling her daughter drama and blue balls into frantic overwork, Rory processing in Italy, and Lane soaring so high that we fear she can only fall. Will Zack snare her heart by being aggressively awful? Is this the episode where we finally see some Luke and Lorelai P-in-V? Tune in next week for part 2 to find out!Support the showJoin our patreon!

Something to say? TEXT US, for GODS sake! We're back baby with the thrilling conclusion of our season 5 premiere coverage. Beefs are roasted, Baptists are bumped, and both our gals head into the summer geographically removed from the objects of their affection. See you next time for (hopefully) a 35 minute HD consummation scene on a table with Luke and Lorelai.Support the showJoin our patreon!

Something to say? TEXT US, for GODS sake! The people demanded it and we're here to deliver - even more Dean and Rory pillow talk and lovemaking in our season five premiere! We're asking the tough questions: how exactly would you get gummy bears into brownies? Do old money richie riches have Paul Blart Mall Cops guarding their mansions? And is the mystery of who chewed Taylor's shoe the biggest enigma in true crime history? It sure is to Gabby!Support the showJoin our patreon!

Something to say? TEXT US, for GODS sake! We hope you are ready for a very confusing boner with PART DEUX of our “Raincoats and Recipes” coverage. Luke and Lorelai? Thrilling! Erotic! Jason? AN AFFRONT TO THE SENSES! Dean and Rory? Uh oh!!! Naked Kirk? A delight. Season four? Over and out. Support the showJoin our patreon!

Something to say? TEXT US, for GODS sake! Grab a door and throw on your complementary robe for season four, episode 22 “Raincoats and Recipes.” The Dragonfly Inn and our legs are both OPEN FOR BUSINESS as Luke and Lorelai's romance ascends to new heights. Nothing else could possibly happen in this episode, right? ...Right?Support the show Want to double up on your enjoyment of this weird little dog and pony show of a podcast? Join our patreon!

Something to say? TEXT US, for GODS sake! We interrupt this broadcast to bring you our renewed thoughts on what's truly important in life: TLC Reality programming banger SISTER WIVES. We've said a lot and yet nothing at all so we had to go back to the scene of the crime for another Sister Wives Special Episode. Are we now Robin apologists? MAYBE. Would we still die for Janelle? OF COURSE. So grab some horrific decor, log on to the manosphere, and join us for a very intimate marriage.Support the show Want to double up on your enjoyment of this weird little dog and pony show of a podcast? Join our patreon!

Something to say? TEXT US, for GODS sake! Tights? On. Fights? Imminent. With the exception of the 10 minute conversation at the top of the show about “cat” people and “dog” people, a few audio snafus and a perplexing about-face by Jess in the final quarter, we are all systems go on season 4 episode 21 “Last Week Fights, This Week Tights” PART 2. Support the show Want to double up on your enjoyment of this weird little dog and pony show of a podcast? Join our patreon!

Something to say? TEXT US, for GODS sake! It's the wedding-eth of the century-eth and your hosts are seated (eth) for season 4 episode 21 “Last Week Fights, This Week Tights” PART 1-eth. We're loving Jess (???), meeting a new boy who will NOT matter, and contemplating a horse in your place of business. So RSYP to our episode and make a date with next week for part 2!Support the show Want to double up on your enjoyment of this weird little dog and pony show of a podcast? Join our patreon!

Something to say? TEXT US, for GODS sake! Grab a paperback and head for the local strip club cause we're mud wrestling our way through “Luke Can See Her Face” part deux. We are making a shocking and full throated defence of Jess plus talkin zucchini, self-help, and more. So RSVP your ears to our voices, won't you?Support the show Want to double up on your enjoyment of this weird little dog and pony show of a podcast? Join our patreon!

Something to say? TEXT US, for GODS sake! Close your eyes and think of Miss Patty cause we're visualizing Gilmore Girls season 4 episode 20 “Luke Can See Her Face” - FART 1! We continue to wax poetical about the gorgeous voice notes y'all have been submitting and get caught up with coincidentally single Luke and Lorelai. So grab your cats, throw on a blue bathrobe, and pop the cassette tape of our podcast into the boombox of your hearts. Support the show Want to double up on your enjoyment of this weird little dog and pony show of a podcast? Join our patreon!

Something to say? TEXT US, for GODS sake! What's that, you say? Can't get enough of Cousin Maryland and her whacky back-from-the-dead hijinx? Why, have we got a treat for you. We're tackling the tail end of S4E16 The Reigning Lorelai - we're monologuing in a PantieLand, we're smoking cigarettes indoors in our grief Kimono, and we're thanking Pennilynn Lott JUST for being Pennilynn Lott.Support the show Want to double up on your enjoyment of this weird little dog and pony show of a podcast? Join our patreon!

Something to say? TEXT US, for GODS sake! Pass the championship belt because we are burying a crone and christening a new matriarch in season four, episode 16 “The Reigning Lorelai” - part one! Join your humble hosts as we stop yammering for once to listen to your mellifluous voice notes and pay our respects at the passing of TWO elderly rich women with preposterous nicknames. Sweetie and Trix? This one goes out to you!Support the show Want to double up on your enjoyment of this weird little dog and pony show of a podcast? Join our patreon!

Something to say? TEXT US, for GODS sake! Take a break from your regularly scheduled programming to compare and contrast our Boob Tube roster. Inside you there are two wolves, they are both WB shows, and we have a lot to say about all of it. Full episode and video on Patreon later this week!Support the show Want to double up on your enjoyment of this weird little dog and pony show of a podcast? Join our patreon!

Something to say? TEXT US, for GODS sake! One little voice keeps calling me calling me in tonight's episode, season 4 episode 14, “The Incredible Sinking Lorelais” parte deux. Truth is, we love the huge boyfriend, Lane ultimately does need to go, its time to CUT! THAT! CLASS! for real for real, we kill Lorelai the First (mostly for fiscal reasons) and Jason the Partner (mostly for personal reasons). High ho silver, away!Support the show Want to double up on your enjoyment of this weird little dog and pony show of a podcast? Join our patreon!

Something to say? TEXT US, for GODS sake! Paging the unsinkable Molly Brown cause we're gonna need an assist for season four, episode 14 “The Incredible Sinking Lorelais” PART ONE. Phone tag rages, money runs short, and academic woes loom in this stressful little morsel but your hosts manfully self-sooth through it!Support the show Want to double up on your enjoyment of this weird little dog and pony show of a podcast? Join our patreon!

Something to say? TEXT US, for GODS sake! Raise the curtain and salute your shorts because we are hitting performance art paydirt in season 4, episode 7 “The Festival of Living Art” PART TWO. Join us for a master class in dramaturgy, elderly drummers, and tableau vivants. Support the show Want to double up on your enjoyment of this weird little dog and pony show of a podcast? Join our patreon!

Something to say? TEXT US, for GODS sake! Call us the Connecticut Arts Council cause we're fully lezzed out for season 4, episode 7 “The Festival of Living Art” PART ONE. We're going full Buff Otis on baby pagers, coupons, and more so strap in.Support the show Want to double up on your enjoyment of this weird little dog and pony show of a podcast? Join our patreon!

Something to say? TEXT US, for GODS sake! Rory finally made it to the Ivy League in today's epic, season 4 episode 2, The Lorelais' First Day at Yale, and we are ready to Big League Chew THE FAT about it all. Worried we won't be decrying the college mattress realism for the second episode in a row? Never fear, we have receipts! Proof! Timelines! And we can't wait to share every last second of it with you

Something to say? TEXT US, for GODS sake! Happy New Year and Happy season 4! Your humble hosts are back in action, as well as your humble...er characters, Rory and Lorelai, fresh off the boat from their european adventures. In "Ballrooms and Biscotti", our heroines complain far less than we were prepared for, Zoe finds the Souvenir Obligation to be stressful, and we continue to speculate wildly on easily googable future plot points surrounding Rory's hypothetical Dark Turn. Hold on to your hats, Tubers, its a new year, same old us!Support the show Want to double up on your enjoyment of this weird little dog and pony show of a podcast? Join our patreon!

Something to say? TEXT US, for GODS sake! If there's anything your humbly hosties love it's recording a whole ep tip to tail and definitely not losing half our audio and doing an emergency rerecord. And it is with that intrepid spirit that we wrap up season three and march bravely toward 2025, Yale, a new inn, and season four

Something to say? TEXT US, for GODS sake! Get ready to reenact the NSYNC Bye Bye Bye music video cause this is season three, episode 22 “Those Are Strings, Pinocchio” PART 1. We marvel at what we've missed (WHY is Dean getting married??) and brace for what's to come aka strategically deployed wolves and a graduation heard round the world!Support the show Want to double up on your enjoyment of this weird little dog and pony show of a podcast? Join our patreon!

Something to say? TEXT US, for GODS sake! Hold hands and stare into the ashes of our dreams with us in “A Tale of Poes and Fire” PART DEUX. So take to your bed like Paris in a moment of existential crisis and let us be the sock puppet theater you deserve. Support the show Want to double up on your enjoyment of this weird little dog and pony show of a podcast? Join our patreon!

The world seems more on fire than usual so please accept our contribution: season three, episode 17 “A Tale of Poes and Fire.” Keep the home fires burning and we'll see you in the morning

This Halloween you might be asking yourself - whatever happened to Baby Boob Tube? Well don't you fret because we've Written a Letter to Daddy with season three, episode thirteen “Dear Emily and Richard.” This episode brings us lots of answers but in some ways we have more questions than ever. So throw on your hospital gown, grab an Epilady, and let us impregnate your ears!Support the show Want to double up on your enjoyment of this weird little dog and pony show of a podcast? Join our patreon!

As Zoe wraps up her international constitutional and Gabby gets her spooky lil head on straight, we're taking a brief break from Gilmore Girls this week to talk Battlestar Galactica. We will be back next will with Lorelai and Rory, but for now, enjoy this brief jaunt to space!Support the show Want to double up on your enjoyment of this weird little dog and pony show of a podcast? Join our patreon!

Just a little shortie this week as we wrap up this litigious parable. Neither Lorelai nor Emily know anything about the other, still, and its season 3! When will they learn?? The deposition is in and Emily is steamed, Lorelai is going on a cute coffee date with Deputy Daddy from Twilight, pre-stache, and we do not I repeat do not support either dog abuse NOR harmful racist tropes spewed by ol' Felonious Whats-His-Guts. Support the show Want to double up on your enjoyment of this weird little dog and pony show of a podcast? Join our patreon!

En garde! It's season 3, episode 11, "I Solemnly Swear", and in this part 1, we're setting up backstabbing, abandoned parking garages, and a fencing lesson simply dripping with earnest lesbionic overtones. Say no more! We'll suit up and meet you on the piste!Support the show Want to double up on your enjoyment of this weird little dog and pony show of a podcast? Join our patreon!

We are finally finishing our turkey day leftovers with “A Deep-Fried Korean Thanksgiving” PART  2. Do we still get sidetracked by aprox one million tangents? Sure! But by god we made it through a measly half an ep with all the aplomb of our gals chomping their way through four full dinners. Bring on the rolls!Support the show Want to double up on your enjoyment of this weird little dog and pony show of a podcast? Join our patreon!

Your hosts are reporting live from August re the turkey time shenanigans of our Gilmore Gals in season three, episode 9 “A Deep-Fried Korean Thanksgiving.” We've got a LOT to say and I can't claim we get very far into the (tofurkey) meat of this ep before we break for part deux. But join us for introspections on Battlestar Galactica, why our emotional reactions to GG are so fraught, and our Jess feels. To paraphrase Sonia Morgan “There's nothing gray about OUR gardens.”Support the show Want to double up on your enjoyment of this weird little dog and pony show of a podcast? Join our patreon!

The night wears on, Tubers, and these dogs? Are barking. We're wrapping up “They Shoot Gilmores, Don't they?”, noting Jackson's predisposition to hysteria and fleeing of the scene, Dave's quick thinking seduction, and the Big Breakup we've all been waiting for. Join us as we commence “trying” for 4 in 4! Fingers crossed its twins!!!Support the Show. Want to double up on your enjoyment of this weird little dog and pony show of a podcast? Join our patreon!

Gabby and Zoe reunite (briefly) with reality before diving back into the summer haze, pausing to discuss Season 3, Episode 7, They Shoot Gilmores, Don't They? Lorelai and Luke set the scene of a town all abuzz with excitement about the annual dance competition. Much chit chat, discussion of Jess Vs Paris, and the devastating synopsis of Boxing Helena (1993) which will change how you view our humble reality as we know it. Put on your dancin' shoes, girls and/or gays, its a long night ahead!Support the Show. Want to double up on your enjoyment of this weird little dog and pony show of a podcast? Join our patreon!

We interrupt your regularly scheduled programming for an AB BREAK! AKA a mini-sode in which we invite you to contemplate our six pack abs as we talk Bridgerton and assorted horror movies. Leo season is LOADED but we'll be bringing all the content to you we can muster during these sweet summer months.Stay ripped boob tube nation and we'll meet you at Luke's as soon as our rigorous Chilton schedule permits.P.s. The movie that Gabby forgets to actually say the name of is Evil Dead Rise

Grab a chair, Tubers, because we're putting on a parentification clinic this week, which is easy to do with this show! Wrapping up S3E6 with the much-discussed protest, one mercilessly be-eggled vehicle, outrage on Jess' behalf for once, and a recently roughed up bathroom. You're gonna wanna stand upwind of this funky clunky hunk a junky, that much is for damn sure!Support the Show. Want to double up on your enjoyment of this weird little dog and pony show of a podcast? Join our patreon!

Motherhood is in full bloom in this weeks episode, Season 3 Episode 6 Take the Deviled Eggs! Our intrepid hosts deliver hot takes on Sherry's Baby Shower, Patty's new Latin Lover, and the details of the shared Stars Hollow Place of Worship, among other things. May we suggest you get on your knees and take a of whiff of this diaper! Support the Show. Want to double up on your enjoyment of this weird little dog and pony show of a podcast? Join our patreon!

Ella Fitzgerald isn't the only one struggling to get this show on the road in the GG season two finale “I Can't Get Started.” Your easily sidetracked hosts finally get their head in the game to talk Sookie's wedding prep, how we're voting in the upcoming election (Chilton student body prez, natch), and the Gilmore family's enduring commitment to verbally abusing medical professionals. Support the Show. Want to double up on your enjoyment of this weird little dog and pony show of a podcast? Join our patreon!

Ella Fitzgerald isn't the only one struggling to get this show on the road in the GG season two finale “I Can't Get Started.” Your easily sidetracked hosts finally get their head in the game to talk Sookie's wedding prep, how we're voting in the upcoming election (Chilton student body prez, natch), and the Gilmore family's enduring commitment to verbally abusing medical professionals. Support the Show. Want to double up on your enjoyment of this weird little dog and pony show of a podcast? Join our patreon!

Get on the stinky bus of disappointment, Gus, because the Boob Tube Express is boarding now! We're finishing off S2E21 Lorelai's Graduation day with a hot n fresh part 2, where we get ANGRY angry at the rich, learn about the importance of arriving at prom a full two hours early, and hold Rory's hand through having her first Chaotic Crush. ALL ABOARD!Support the Show. Want to double up on your enjoyment of this weird little dog and pony show of a podcast? Join our patreon!

Grab a mortarboard and get to motorboating cause we're receiving our associate's degree in season two, episode 21 “Lorelai's Graduation Day.” We major in being thrilled to see Lorelai get her flowers and minor in hoping her parents don't eff it all up and pondering the pining betwixt Rory and Jess. Unless you feed lead to our jumping frog, will see you again next week for the THRILLING conclusion.NOTE: We forgot to take our mid-roll break, so Part 1 ends rather abruptly. DEEPEST apologies, dear listener!Support the Show. Want to double up on your enjoyment of this weird little dog and pony show of a podcast? Join our patreon!

We are SEATED for a film by kirk in season two, episode nineteen, part DEUX. Join us for a forensic investigation of the circumstances of this car crash, continued despair at the state of affairs re Jess, and of course laser sharp focus on the coded communiques between Miss Patty and Babette. Let's eat!Support the Show. Want to double up on your enjoyment of this weird little dog and pony show of a podcast? Join our patreon!

We are BACK BABY and, like Jess, we refuse to learn a goddamn thing in season two, episode nineteen “Teach Me Tonight.” We're starting strong with hardline takes on the education system, pleas for reasonable communication, and raging against the sexism of making a high achieving girl mommy a bad boy who refuses to do school. You know, the fun stuff! Join us next week as we crash into the conclusion of this episode and take in a truly life changing piece of Cinema.Support the Show. Want to double up on your enjoyment of this weird little dog and pony show of a podcast? Join our patreon!

Happy Early Mother's Day, Tubers! This week's very special episode features Zoe's own actual, literal Mother, Beverly, live in the Boob Tube recording studios and answering pressing questions about motherhood, rearing children, and The Gilmore Girls. Huge shout out to the mothers and guardians that make the horrifying task of growing up just a little bit easier, we see you, we love you, we're sorry about the sleep deprivation, thanks for everything you do and are

Fetch the smelling salts because you're humble hosts have been laid LOW by the disrespect to alone time in season two, episode sixteen “There's the Rub.” We've got takes, takedowns, and tee hee hee hees and that's just about Rory's takeout order! So tune in for the full run (rub) down NOW.Support the Show. Want to double up on your enjoyment of this weird little dog and pony show of a podcast? Join our patreon!

Support the show Want to double up on your enjoyment of this weird little dog and pony show of a podcast? Join our patreon!

Listeners, lock up your peacocks that you don't want ending up in pies cause we're in part one of our season one, episode ten The Bracebridge Dinner era. We use this build up to a feast to dream up potential new merch, try to fathom Gabby's insistence that the whole episode is painfully erotic, and generally get horned up for the dinner theater to come. You won't want to miss THESE thirty pounds of aged beef!Support the show Want to double up on your enjoyment of this weird little dog and pony show of a podcast? Join our patreon!