Podcasts about Borderline personality disorder

In last week's episode I took a "BPD type" quiz and in today's episode Talon and I review it together. What does he agree with? What does he disagree with? Listen to the episode to find out. Send us a text message to be anonymously read and responded to! Support the showYou can find Sara on Instagram @borderlinefromhell. You can also find the podcast on IG @boldbeautifulborderline Corey Evans is the artist for the music featured. He can be found HERE Talon Abbott created the cover art. He. can be found HERE Leave us a voicemail about your thoughts or questions on the show at boldbeautifulborderline.comIf you like the show we would love if you could rate, subscribe and support us on Patreon. Patreon info here: https://www.patreon.com/boldbeautifulborderline?fan_landing=true Purchase Sara's Exploring Your Borderline Strengths Journal at https://www.amazon.com/Exploring-Your-Borderline-Strengths-Amundson/dp/B0C522Y7QT/ref=sr_1_1?crid=IGQBWJRE3CFX&keywords=exploring+your+borderline+strengths&qid=1685383771&sprefix=exploring+your+bor%2Caps%2C164&sr=8-1 For mental health supports: National Suicide Pr...

In this episode, Joe Sanok speaks with Dr. Courtney Tracy, also known as The Truth Doctor, about the reality of borderline personality disorder (BPD). Dr. Tracy explains what BPD is, how it affects the brain, and why it can feel like “emotions on steroids” for those who live with it. She outlines the key criteria of BPD, including fear of abandonment, difficulty experiencing joy, and an overwhelming negative inner narrative. The post Is It Borderline Personality Disorder? Recognizing the Signs and Finding Help with Dr. Courtney Tracy | POP 1251 appeared first on How to Start, Grow, and Scale a Private Practice | Practice of the Practice.

Enmeshed in a BPD Relationship? 5 Codependent Hooks Fueling CyclesAre you enmeshed in a BPD relationship? Why can't you let go—even when it's hurting you? This Codependency Inside Out, surviving cluster B episode explores the 5 trauma-rooted codependent hooks that keep you psychologically and emotionally enmeshed, fueling the cycles, in a relationship with someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder.From rescuing and self-abandonment to enmeshment and fantasy bonding, you'll learn how these unconscious patterns pull you deeper into the storm—and how to finally begin breaking free.You'll Learn:– What enmeshment really is and why it feels like love– How your nervous system mistakes chaos for connection– Why self-erasure becomes a survival strategy– How to reclaim your identity and rebuild your boundaries

Josh Slocum gives a brief overview of the four Cluster B personality disorders, then explains Borderline Personality Disorder in detail. What causes it? What does it look like in your family or friends? Can it be treated or cured?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

BPD Frustration IntoleranceBPD Frustration Intolerance explains one of the most confusing, crazy-making, and painful dynamics loved ones face in relationships with someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder. In this episode, I unpack why ordinary limits, boundaries, or small disappointments can trigger emotionally explosive reactions, chaos, and betrayal cycles. No matter how any times you try to calm a person with BPD down, jump to their demands, apologize for what they are doing to you, try to help them emotionally regulate, you cannot stop these betrayal cycles.In the betrayal cycles and through all the demands and the Borderline (protective) entitlement as they shame you and blame you and "hold you responsible" in their projective identification they have no real-time emotional awareness of YOU, of what YOU are feeling, of what YOU are going through. They don't care after each and every one of these betrayal cycles. YOU won't be seen or heard or empathized with, understood, or apologized to either.In this podcast episode you will learn and I hope gain clarity about:What frustration intolerance really means in the context of BPDHow trauma and emotional dysregulation fuel these reactionsWhy the cycle creates a false promise of peace that never lastsThe toll it takes on partners, family members, and friendsWhy this makes BPD relationships unsustainablehttps://ajmahari.ca/sessions - Sessionshttps://ajmahari.ca/podcasts - Podcastshttps://ajmahari.com - Online Store new Course Modules coming soonhttps://survivingbpdrelationshipbreakup.com - This podcast and my Youtube FeedThis podcast is ranked in the Top 100 Relationships Podcasts on feedspot.com at:100 Best Relationship Podcasts You Must Follow in 2025Million Podcasts has ranked this podcast in the top 60 Codependency Podcasts,the top 100 Narcissistic Abuse Podcasts and the top 100 in their Toxic RelationshipPodcast lists.https://www.millionpodcasts.com/codependency-podcasts/https://www.millionpodcasts.com/narcissistic-abuse-podcasts/https://www.millionpodcasts.com/toxic-relationship-podcasts/

7 Reasons Why BPD Relationships FailWhy do relationships with someone who has untreated Borderline Personality Disorder so often end in heartbreak? In this episode, I share the 7 key reasons why BPD relationships fail — explained with compassion, depth, and clarity. Whether you're the partner, the ex, or someone living with BPD yourself, you'll gain insight into the emotional patterns that make love feel intense yet unstable — and why love alone isn't enough to keep it alive without healing and change.This is not about blame. It's about Codependents' truth, self-understanding, and reclaiming your peace by healing, breaking the trauma bond and reclaiming your own personal power and creating a healthier and more functional relationship to and with yourself.https://ajmahari.ca/sessions - Sessionshttps://ajmahari.ca/podcasts - Podcastshttps://ajmahari.com - Online Store new Course Modules coming soonhttps://survivingbpdrelationshipbreakup.com - This podcast and my Youtube FeedThis podcast is ranked in the Top 100 Relationships Podcasts on feedspot.com at:100 Best Relationship Podcasts You Must Follow in 2025Million Podcasts has ranked this podcast in the top 60 Codependency Podcasts,the top 100 Narcissistic Abuse Podcasts and the top 100 in their Toxic RelationshipPodcast lists.https://www.millionpodcasts.com/codependency-podcasts/https://www.millionpodcasts.com/narcissistic-abuse-podcasts/https://www.millionpodcasts.com/toxic-relationship-podcasts/

In this part-two episode, Kristen continues the conversation with internationally recognized BPD expert and author Dr. Daniel Lobel, diving into the lasting impact of having a parent with borderline personality disorder, and how to begin healing and reclaiming your identity.   Mysideofthecouch.com   When you purchase Dr. Daniel Lobel's books through these Amazon affiliate links, you're helping support the podcast at no extra cost to you:  1. Adult Children of Borderline Parents: https://amzn.to/4l0ZmPS 2. When Your Daughter Has BPD: Essential Skills to Help Families Manage Borderline Personality Disorder: https://amzn.to/4kIrt6v 3. When Your Mother Has Borderline Personality Disorder: A Guide for Adult Children: https://amzn.to/4mU99Zu 4. When a Loved One Has Borderline Personality Disorder: A Compassionate Guide to Building a Healthy and Supportive Relationship:  https://amzn.to/4mSP4TB 5. Stop Walking on Eggshells for Parents: How to Help Your Child (of Any Age) with Borderline Personality Disorder without Losing Yourself: https://amzn.to/4kvqQNt   When you purchase these books through these Amazon affiliate links, you're helping support the podcast at no extra cost to you: 1. Sticky Note Mantras: The Art and Science of Choosing Your Thoughts: https://amzn.to/3IpHCiT Book Recommendations: 1. The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom (A Toltec Wisdom Book: https://amzn.to/453lBPO 2. Brain Lock, Twentieth Anniversary Edition: Free Yourself from Obsessive-Compulsive Behavior: https://amzn.to/44tRZuJ Subscribe and get a free 5-day journal at www.kristendboice.com to begin closing the chapter on what doesn't serve you and open the door to the real you. This information is being provided to you for educational and informational purposes only. It is being provided to you to educate you about ideas on stress management and as a self-help tool for your own use. It is not psychotherapy/counseling in any form. This information is to be used at your own risk based on your own judgment.  For my full Disclaimer please go to www.kristendboice.com. For counseling services near Indianapolis, IN, visit www.pathwaystohealingcounseling.com. Pathways to Healing Counseling's vision is to provide warm, caring, compassionate and life-changing counseling services and educational programs to individuals, couples and families in order to create learning, healing and growth.

A whole bunch of our clients have related with either parents or partners with BPD (or BPD traits). Here we go into even more depth around the origins of BPD, and what you can do as a partner if this is something you're contending with. We answer questions like:When you “cross” someone with BPD, they often want to punish you / make you suffer. Why?Why are folks with BPD traits so sensitive to rejection?Does BPD show up differently in women vs. men? We often hear about BPD women — why is that? What do you do if you've noticed that your partner has BPD traits?How do you know when it's time to leave the relationship vs. stay and work on it?---Come to the retreat!It's August 8th - September 1st in Northern California (about 2 hours north of San Francisco). We work hard to keep it financially accessible, and payment plans are available.As one man put it in this episode, “If you're thinking about going, you're already there.”https://evolutionary.men/retreat/---Work with usWant to go deeper than the podcast? Jason and I are ready to work with you! We specialize in helping men break old patterns and transform their sex & love lives for good.To see if there's a fit for our flagship program Pillars of Presence, book a call here. Start anytime. (https://evolutionary.men/apply/)---Mentioned on this episode:Dear Men episode 354: What it's like treating BPD (pt. 1)Setareh Vatan's Psychology Today profileBook: Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality DisorderBook: Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents---Memorable quotes from this episode:“Love alone doesn't fix unaddressed wounds.”“When the inner experience feels unbearable, sometimes acting out anger feels like the only way to bridge the gap.”“‘I'm in pain; don't leave me; come back.'”“Your partner is more than their defenses. That said, loving someone with BPD traits can be intense.”“Boundaries are not abandonment.”“‘I can see this feels really scary for you.'”“There's usually a younger part asking, ‘Do I matter to you?'”“‘You matter to me. I'm not leaving you. I care when these things get hard.'”“This can erode your sense of self over time.”“I understand you feel abandoned when you don't hear from me right away. I wasn't ignoring you; I was in a meeting.”“Compassion for the person with BPD doesn't mean excusing harm.”“BPD reflects unmet emotional needs and trauma.”“I'm the adult here that's going to create that safety.”“I thought you were saying that I'm damaged, un-fixable, or broken.”“Underneath intensity is usually someone who longs for stability and connection.”“You can't love someone's pain away, but your steadiness, boundaries and compassion can make a difference.”“A healthy relationship requires BOTH people's willingness to grow.”“I believe it's possible for anyone to heal.”

We did it! We've arrived at the final episode of Season 1. This episode picks up where episode 6 left off, by diving even deeper into the question: what's the relationship between empathy and morality?As always, you can find a (not Substack-generated) transcript of the episode, as well as a music-free remix, here.“Deliberative Empathy”In our last episode, we met Ryan.Ryan is a minister who has devoted his life to serving others. Yet, at one point, a psychologist told him he had “no empathy.”Surprisingly, Ryan could sort of see their point. He knew he experienced empathy differently than most people. He was even a little skeptical of whether empathy deserves the pedestal we often put it on.But hold on—even if empathy isn't perfect, couldn't it still be really important?In this episode, we explore a broader, richer view of empathy. Maybe empathy isn't a magic spark you either have or lack (which can be detected by a perfectly tuned psychometric test). Maybe empathy is more like a set of muscles we can exercise. According to this view, empathy is not merely a feeling, but a complex set of skills. These skills can look different from person to person, and can be learned, practiced, and strengthened over time.To help us unpack all this, we spoke with the philosopher Heidi Maibom, who makes the case that empathy is far more than an emotional reflex. Instead, Heidi argues that empathy is a deliberate practice that plays a crucial role in living a moral life.Topics Discussed* Recap! (00:24)* Why we care about (and try to measure) empathy: we often assume that having empathy is necessary for being a good person. (01:29) * The original (and very dangerous) myth that autistic people don't have empathy, and its relationship to the “ToM-deficit” view of autism. (01:52)* A new myth: autistic have empathy and have a ToM deficit—which means that autistic people are like the mirror image of psychopaths. But this new myth comes with problems of its own. (03:06)* There are so many different types of empathy! But are these long lists of different types of empathy useful? How are all these different types of empathy related? (06:32)* An alternative way of thinking about empathy: it's a four-step process (Fletcher-Watson and Bird, 2020) . The third step is the most important—and autistic people tend to be really good at that third step. (07:37)* But wait—maybe we need to further complicate how we think about empathy. (12:16)* Meet Heidi! (14:04)* Heidi's personal story illustrating the complexity of the empathy process. (14:56)* Heidi's view of empathy: it's a set of skills that allows us to navigate interpersonal negotiations. (17:40)* It's totally possible that autistic people engage in this process differently—but that doesn't entail any sort of “empathy deficit.” (18:17)* We should think about empathy developmentally. (20:27)* Recall: some people are pretty skeptical of empathy's importance. (22:23)* But in spite of these criticisms, Heidi maintains that empathy is really important. (24:33)* Heidi suggests some ways to “do” empathy better. (26:56)* Heidi thinks empathy is important for living a good, moral life, because morality isn't just a simple set of rules. (28:49)* Empathy is also helpful for reflecting on your own actions (hat-tip to Sartre). (32:02)* Plus, empathy is useful for recognizing the full value of other people. (33:06) * Heidi's response to the criticism that empathy is biased. (33:52)* The complexity of the empathy process opens up many different ways of “doing” empathy. (37:58)* We can all deliberately practice flexing our empathy muscles. Could this help non-autistic people empathize with autistic people? (39:14)Sources Mentioned* For more on how a person's “psychopathic” tendencies could be channeled into pro-social behavior: * Ohikuare, “Life as a Nonviolent Psychopath,” The Atlantic (2014).* Gagne, Sociopath: A Memoir (2024).* Heidi Maibom's work on empathy:* An overview: https://www.heidimaibom.com/empathy* Heidi's books: https://www.heidimaibom.com/books* Heidi's articles: https://www.heidimaibom.com/articles* Fletcher-Watson and Bird, “Autism and Empathy: What are the real links?” Autism, Vol. 24, Issue 1 (2020).* Examples of how DBT might boost empathy: * Giles, et al., “A thematic analysis of the subjective experiences of mothers with borderline personality disorder who completed Mother-Infant Dialectical Behaviour Therapy: a 3-year follow-up,” Borderline Personality Disorder and Emotion Regulation, Vol. 11, Article 25 (2024).* Mardani, et al., “The Impact of Dialectical Behavior Therapy in Reducing Emotional Exhaustion and Enhancing Empathy,” Journal of Personality and Psychosomatic Research, Vol. 1, No. 3 (2023).* Research on DBT and autism: * Keenan, et al., “Leveling Up Dialectical Behavior Therapy for Autistic Individuals with Emotion Dysregulation: Clinical and Personal Insights,” Autism in Adulthood, Vol. 6, No. 1 (2024).* Bloom, Against Empathy (2016).* Research on “thin slice” judgments, in which non-autistic people make negative snap judgments about autistic people:* Sasson, et al., “Neurotypical Peers are Less Willing to Interact with Those with Autism based on Thin Slice Judgments,” Scientific Reports (2017).* Research on autism and bullying:* Trundle, et al., “Prevalence of Victimisation in Autistic Individuals: A Systematic Review and Meta-Analysis,” Trauma, Violence, and Abuse, Vol. 24, Issue 4 (2023). * Ryan Althaus:* From Emaciated to Emancipated: The Story of a Skinny Mango (2023).* Even more books by Ryan!* Ryan's radio show. * More on how everyone needs to flex their empathy muscles: “How to Really Know Another Person” (Hidden Brain, 2022)CreditsHosting, Research, Fact-Checking, Script-Editing: Amelia Hicks and Joanna LawsonGuests: Heidi Maibom and Ryan AlthausMusic and Audio Production: Amelia HicksThank-YousA huge thank you to Heidi Maibom for helping us complicate our concept of empathy! Be sure to check out her books and articles, mentioned above.Thanks again to Ryan Althaus, for all his insights.And thanks to the Marc Sanders Foundation and the Templeton Foundation for their support of the show. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit neurodiving.substack.com

The BPD Love ParadoxWhy does someone with Borderline Personality Disorder crave deep love—only to destroy it when it arrives? In this episode of Surviving BPD Relationship Breakup Podcast I explore the heartbreaking paradox at the center of BPD. From self-fulfilling prophecies and defensive splitting, to the tragic pattern of testing love until it breaks, A.J. Mahari compassionately unpacks why intimacy feels both irresistible and terrifying to those with BPD. Whether you're loving someone with BPD or navigating the disorder yourself, this episode offers clarity, empathy, and a path toward healing.https://ajmahari.ca/sessions - Sessionshttps://ajmahari.ca/podcasts - Podcastshttps://ajmahari.com - Online Store new info Products coming soonThis podcast is ranked in the Top 100 Relationships Podcasts on feedspot.com at:100 Best Relationship Podcasts You Must Follow in 2025Million Podcasts has ranked this podcast in the top 60 Codependency Podcasts,the top 100 Narcissistic Abuse Podcasts and the top 100 in their Toxic RelationshipPodcast lists.https://www.millionpodcasts.com/codependency-podcasts/https://www.millionpodcasts.com/narcissistic-abuse-podcasts/https://www.millionpodcasts.com/toxic-relationship-podcasts/

In this conversation, Estefana Johnson and I delve into the complexities of trauma and the innovative therapeutic approach known as Critical Memory Integration (CMI). We discuss the importance of understanding trauma not just as a singular event but as a series of experiences that shape an individual's response to adversity. We talk about the need for a personalized approach to therapy that respects the unique experiences of each individual, allowing for deeper healing and integration of past memories. The conversation also highlights the significance of creating a safe therapeutic space where we can explore feelings and experiences without judgment. Thank you so much to Estefana for sharing her expertise! You can learn more about Estefana and CMI here: https://arisealliance.org/about-us/estefana-johnson/ Send us a text message to be anonymously read and responded to! Support the showYou can find Sara on Instagram @borderlinefromhell. You can also find the podcast on IG @boldbeautifulborderline Corey Evans is the artist for the music featured. He can be found HERE Talon Abbott created the cover art. He. can be found HERE Leave us a voicemail about your thoughts or questions on the show at boldbeautifulborderline.comIf you like the show we would love if you could rate, subscribe and support us on Patreon. Patreon info here: https://www.patreon.com/boldbeautifulborderline?fan_landing=true Purchase Sara's Exploring Your Borderline Strengths Journal at https://www.amazon.com/Exploring-Your-Borderline-Strengths-Amundson/dp/B0C522Y7QT/ref=sr_1_1?crid=IGQBWJRE3CFX&keywords=exploring+your+borderline+strengths&qid=1685383771&sprefix=exploring+your+bor%2Caps%2C164&sr=8-1 For mental health supports: National Suicide Pr...

Send Me a Message! After what's felt like forever, I finally have a date locked in! I'm seeing a psychiatrist for an appointment to determine the next steps as far as my goal of tapering off all of my medications. Thank you, NSW public mental health system!The main theme of the episode though is all about my morning. How an amazing opportunity for gratitude was driven away by my over-excited amygdala which sees threats everywhere. A beautiful drive around Newcastle on a perfect winters day, with nothing but blue skies should not be clouded by anxiety. But this is my everyday. Not easy. And I know this isn't just happening to me!The positive is that momentum is being made as far as tapering medications is concerned, and making the system listen and help me with my goals. That hope is burning just that little bit brighter...Support the showYou can follow me on Instagram: @elliot.t.waters, and the show on Facebook!

Borderline Persecutory Object - Invisible Partners and ExesBorderline persecutory object, a psychoanalytic concept, within Objects Relations Theory, that explains so much about Borderline Personality Disorder. This is the path to truly understanding the results of BPD splitting, perception, unconscious repetition compulsions re-experiencing and re-enactment in BPD that captures the core of understanding so many individual core elements of Borderline Personality disordered "relating" that just does not work.https://ajmahari.ca/sessions - Sessionshttps://ajmahari.ca/podcasts - Podcastshttps://survivingbpdrelationshipbreakup.comhttps://ajmahari.com - Online Store new info Products coming soonThis podcast is ranked in the Top 100 Relationships Podcasts on feedspot.com at:100 Best Relationship Podcasts You Must Follow in 2025Million Podcasts has ranked this podcast in the top 60 Codependency Podcasts,the top 100 Narcissistic Abuse Podcasts and the top 100 in their Toxic RelationshipPodcast lists.

Send Me a Message! In this episode, I share how the NSW mental health system has picked up my referrals and is starting to piece together a plan to help me move forward. It's a big relief — and a hint of hope on the horizon — but of course it's also tangled up with my daily battle against anxiety.So much of this process relies on me: on finding the social capacity to answer or make phone calls, to push through the fear that is always there, and to keep these critical conversations and opportunities alive. I've missed a few calls along the way (hey, its been hard, ok?), but I've also managed to pick up the phone when it really counts and talk openly about my struggles. That alone feels like a small victory — a moment of courage that helps keep the wheels turning and reminds me that, even with all this anxiety, I'm still moving forward. The war within rages on, but now I might be bolstered by a very powerful ally. Maybe....hopefully.....--Follow my journey through the chaos of mental illness and the hard-fought lessons learned along the way.Lived experience is at the heart of this podcast — every episode told through my own lens, with raw honesty and zero filter.This is a genuine and vulnerable account of how multiple psychological disorders have shaped my past and continue to influence my future.Support the showYou can follow me on Instagram: @elliot.t.waters, and the show on Facebook!

Episode 180. We'll explore how traits of borderline personality disorder can show up across different triads and stances of the Enneagram. Let's break down how 7 of the 9 numbers overlap with BPD patterns like identity confusion, fear of abandonment, emotional reactivity, and relational intensity (and hear which 2 numbers don't fit with BPD at all).Visit First Line's website and blog: ⁠https://www.firstlinepodcast.comEditing Service for Pre-Med and Medical Students (CV, personal statement, applications): https://www.firstlinepodcast.com/servicesFor a discount on your TrueLearn subscription use ⁠https://truelearn.referralrock.com/l/firstline/⁠ and code firstlineContent on First Line is for educational and informational purposes only, not as medical advice. Views expressed are my own and do not represent any organizations I am associated with.

Did you have healthy boundaries modeled for you when you were growing up? Do you feel like you know how to set healthy boundaries with your folks?If not, then some of these things may apply:You felt like (or continue to feel like) you need to take care of your mom or dadYou don't really feel free to live your life as you'd like because you know this might "hurt" one or both of your parentsWhile growing up and/or when you're home these days, you have to walk on eggshells so as not to upset themYou feel that their emotional wellbeing is somehow your responsibility (As one man on the panel put it, "As long as I please them, they won't be emotionally unstable.)You've heard terms like 'enmeshment' or 'emotional neglect' and thought, "Hmmm, that might apply to me."You just have an intuitive sense that you need to set some boundaries with one or both of your parents.---In this panel discussion, four men share their raw, authentic and vulnerable truths around boundaries they've needed to set with their mothers, fathers, or both. We also hit on some highlights around Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), since many emotionally immature parents have BPD patterns.---Memorable quotes from this episode:“The real hammer came down when my mom figured it out.”“I just remember the house being filled with almost like an emotional toxic gas.”“She said, ‘You're gonna tell me NO?' — and I'm 32 years old and trembling.”“I was at the mercy of conditional love.”“I needed to claim my sense of self.”“Before I got sober, I couldn't even conceptualize what boundaries were.”“I don't have a mother; I have a 60-year-old child.”“My role was: ‘I am responsible for healing my mom's depression and sadness.'”“The two most important women in my life — my mother and my partner — are now at odds with each other.”“So I told my parents: 'The next time we have a conversation about my relationship with my woman, she will be there in the room with us.'”“I have true confidence now. I know what I need, and this is what I need from you.”“No one has the remote control to my emotions; they get the manual.”“I started to realize how much my autonomy was impacted, disrupted, and denied.”“When I set that boundary with my parents, my partner was just thrilled, and proud and happy.”“It was like no matter what I did, she was always going to be right... there was no space for me to exist.”“There is no capacity for this person to see where she has hurt others.”“As I pulled back more and more, the neediness ramped up and up and up.”“Mom, I'm sorry — I can't have a relationship with you right now.”“There's a part of me that just wanted to be the ‘good boy.'”“I've been no contact with my mom for six years, and honestly it's been a relief.”“I started to come to myself from a place of compassion rather than from a place of shame.”“I really did make every effort possible for us to have a healthy relationship.”“If you're feeling stuck, that's the perfect time to reach out for help.”“You are not alone.”---Mentioned on this episode:Dear Men 354: What's it like treating Borderline Personality Disorder?Dear Men 345: The 4 male 'types' that partner with women with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)Dear Men 128: Feel like you're walking on eggshells? Recognizing Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)

In this episode, Kristen sits down with internationally recognized BPD expert and author Dr. Daniel Lobel to explore Borderline Personality Disorder through a clear, compassionate, trauma-informed lens. Mysideofthecouch.com When you purchase Dr. Daniel Lobel's books through these Amazon affiliate links, you're helping support the podcast at no extra cost to you:  1. Adult Children of Borderline Parents: https://amzn.to/4l0ZmPS 2. When Your Daughter Has BPD: Essential Skills to Help Families Manage Borderline Personality Disorder: https://amzn.to/4kIrt6v 3. When Your Mother Has Borderline Personality Disorder: A Guide for Adult Children: https://amzn.to/4mU99Zu 4. When a Loved One Has Borderline Personality Disorder: A Compassionate Guide to Building a Healthy and Supportive Relationship:  https://amzn.to/4mSP4TB 5. Stop Walking on Eggshells for Parents: How to Help Your Child (of Any Age) with Borderline Personality Disorder without Losing Yourself: https://amzn.to/4kvqQNt     Subscribe and get a free 5-day journal at www.kristendboice.com to begin closing the chapter on what doesn't serve you and open the door to the real you. This information is being provided to you for educational and informational purposes only. It is being provided to you to educate you about ideas on stress management and as a self-help tool for your own use. It is not psychotherapy/counseling in any form. This information is to be used at your own risk based on your own judgment.  For my full Disclaimer please go to www.kristendboice.com. For counseling services near Indianapolis, IN, visit www.pathwaystohealingcounseling.com. Pathways to Healing Counseling's vision is to provide warm, caring, compassionate and life-changing counseling services and educational programs to individuals, couples and families in order to create learning, healing and growth.  

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Send us a text! (add your email to get a response)What happens when you can't understand what others are thinking or feeling? Why do some people constantly misinterpret your intentions? The answers lie in a fascinating psychological process called mentalization.Mentalization—our ability to understand the thoughts, feelings, and intentions of others and ourselves—forms the foundation of healthy relationships. When this process goes awry, as it often does in Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), relationships become minefields of misunderstandings, hurt feelings, and confusion.In this episode, we delve into Jacqueline's dissertation topic of how mentalization can go awry with deep shame and personality pathology.  Shame emerges as the critical factor that disrupts mentalization. Those with BPD often carry core beliefs about being defective or unlovable, coloring how they interpret others' thoughts about them. If you believe you're worthless, you'll likely assume others see you that way too, regardless of evidence. This creates patterns of negative assumptions without sufficient proof that can become self-fulfilling prophecies as relationships deteriorate.The social media landscape introduces new challenges, bombarding us with inconsistent feedback that mirrors the chaotic responses some experienced in childhood. When hundreds love you and hundreds hate you simultaneously, how do you form a coherent sense of self?Ready to learn more? Our community and group course launches July 14th—visit KulaMind.com to join the waitlist and gain the skills to navigate relationships with loved ones facing mental health challenges.Support the showIf you have a loved one with mental or emotional problems, join KulaMind, our community and support platform. In KulaMind, work one on one with Dr. Kibby on learning how to set healthy boundaries, advocate for yourself, and support your loved one. *We only have a few spots left, so apply here if you're interested. Follow @kulamind on Instagram for podcast updates and science-backed insights on staying sane while loving someone emotionally explosive. For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com

Dive into a no-holds-barred conversation that shatters common myths about self-harm. Join host Gabe Howard and renowned psychologist and ADAA member expert Dr. Gillian C. Galen as they explore the intricate world of self-harm and emotional regulation. Delving into the neuroscience behind adolescent brain development and its impact on behavior, Dr. Galen explains why self-injurious behaviors are more prevalent during youth and how they evolve — or sometimes subside — in adulthood. They discuss the common reasons behind self-injury and why it's far more complex than the stereotypes we see in movies and media. They explore the surprising ways self-harm can signal deep emotional distress, reveal underlying trauma, and even affect relationships. Whether you've been directly affected or want to better understand the struggles of those you care about, this conversation is a must-listen. Special thanks to McLean Hospital for providing funding for today's episode. “If you see that somebody is self-injuring, it really means, like the level of distress that they are in and the difficulty, like the deficits in coping skills, like they're missing a set of coping skills is pretty profound, right. And you know, the consequences are pretty high. They don't have another skill. We're basically saying, stop self-injuring. What are they going to do with those emotions? What are they going to do with them? Clearly, if they had another way to manage them, they would. I've never met somebody that started self-injuring that has said I had other coping skills, but I chose this instead. Usually when they start self-injuring, it's because they don't know what else to do.” ~Gillian C. Galen, PsyD Our guest, Gillian C. Galen, PsyD, is a senior child and adolescent psychologist specializing in dialectical behavior therapy (DBT). She is the director of training for the 3East continuum, an array of programs for teens that use DBT to target self-endangering behaviors and symptoms of borderline personality disorder. She has extensive experience diagnosing and treating adolescents and young adults who struggle with emotion dysregulation, anxiety, depression, trauma, and self-endangering behaviors, such as self-injury and suicidal behaviors. Dr. Galen has a particular interest in the use of mindfulness in the treatment of borderline personality disorder and psychiatric illnesses. She is the co-author of the books “Mindfulness for Borderline Personality Disorder: Relieve Your Suffering Using the Core Skill of Dialectical Behavior Therapy”, “Coping With BPD: DBT and CBT Skills to Soothe the Symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder”, and “DBT for Dummies.” Our host, Gabe Howard, is an award-winning writer and speaker who lives with bipolar disorder. He is the author of the popular book, "Mental Illness is an Asshole and other Observations," available from Amazon; signed copies are also available directly from the author. Gabe is also the host of the "Inside Bipolar" podcast with Dr. Nicole Washington. Gabe makes his home in the suburbs of Columbus, Ohio. He lives with his supportive wife, Kendall, and a Miniature Schnauzer dog that he never wanted, but now can't imagine life without. To book Gabe for your next event or learn more about him, please visit gabehoward.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Chico psychotherapist Stephen Diggs and his patient, Rebecca Miller, tell her story of recovery from borderline personality disorder.

What drives a father to commit the unthinkable? When Travis Decker allegedly killed his three young daughters and disappeared into the wilderness, media coverage quickly blamed "system failures" – but is that the whole story?Three veterans dive deep into this heartbreaking case, challenging simplified narratives that potentially harm the veteran community. They untangle the critical distinction between PTSD and Borderline Personality Disorder, explaining why conflating these conditions does a disservice to everyone struggling with mental health. With raw honesty, they share personal experiences navigating VA healthcare, revealing both its flaws and its improvements over the years.The conversation takes an unflinching look at personal responsibility in mental health treatment. While acknowledging systemic challenges, they push back against the notion that diagnoses predetermine violent behavior or that "the system" bears all responsibility when individuals choose not to engage with available resources. Their firsthand experiences illuminate the reality that seeking help requires persistence but remains possible.Most powerfully, these veterans confront the harmful stereotype that portrays all former service members as damaged "ticking time bombs." This narrative not only stigmatizes the veteran community but obscures the complex human factors behind tragedies like the Decker case. Their perspective reminds us that mental health exists at the intersection of systems, circumstances, and individual choices.Whether you're a veteran, someone supporting a veteran, or anyone interested in the complexities of mental healthcare, this episode offers valuable insights into how we might better support those struggling while maintaining the nuance these difficult conversations demand. Reach out if you're struggling – these veterans remind us that connection saves lives.Instagram:@dxm_hbhttps://www.instagram.com/dxm_hb?igsh=MTBudWlnbTNyajh1Yw==@scuttbuttpodhttps://www.instagram.com/scuttbuttpod?igsh=cjh1cWR0OGU4MXYzShoutout to :Dom The Scuttlebutt Podcast Hermes and Morphius Military VeteransAg-Gear Store https://www.aggearstore.com/Use Code: Milesmountains For 15% Off Alter Ego Ambassador: https://alteregorunning.com/Miles & Mountains Promo Code: Milesmountainsyr3Raising Awareness:Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women (MMIW)Mental Health Send us a text

It's BINGO TIME!! Xannie, André, Solène, and Katja use a bingo game as a vehicle to share personal recovery wins, experiences, and practical skills that have helped them navigate the complexities of BPD. Don't miss this opportunity to learn, heal, and celebrate small victories in the recovery journey! Hit that subscribe button and turn on notifications for more insightful content!

Wrapping up their conversation from Wednesday. Xannie, Carys, Céline, Jack, Darren, and Solène share personal experiences, revealing the challenges that come with maintaining self-care routines amidst the emotional turmoil of BPD. Whether you're a person with BPD or a loved one seeking to understand, this episode is packed with relatable insights and powerful discussions. Discover what self-care truly means, the obstacles we face, and how to foster compassion over judgment in our journeys. Don't forget to hit like, subscribe, and turn on notifications for more transformative content

In our last episode of season 6, Xannie, Carys, Céline, Jack, Darren, and Solène discuss the complexities of self-care for those living with Borderline Personality Disorder. The Bunch share personal stories, challenges, and strategies that reveal the often misunderstood relationship between self-care and BPD. Whether you're struggling with symptoms or supporting someone who is, this episode offers valuable insights and a community of understanding. Don't miss out on the wisdom shared as we explore how to prioritize yourself without guilt. Like, subscribe, and hit the notification bell to stay updated on our journey together!Friday we'll be back to share some of the aspects of self-care that we still struggle with. Hit that subscribe button to stay connected!

Do you know anyone who has extremely intense relationships—one minute totally in love with someone; the next, flying into a rage and calling them the worst person ever? It's possible that they have borderline personality disorder.Whatever that is. What is a “personality disorder”, anyway? How is one diagnosed? In this episode of The Studies Show, Tom and Stuart discuss a disorder that gets a lot of attention online, but which seems pretty tricky to define. And it's somehow both surprising and entirely predictable that Tom relates this disorder back to his favourite topic: the Reverend Thomas Bayes.The Studies Show is brought to you by Works in Progress magazine. On their Substack newsletter, you can find different styles of articles that aren't part of the main magazine, like this excellent walkthrough of nuclear power technology called “Nuclear Reactors for Dummies”. You can find that and much more at worksinprogress.news. Show notes* Mayo Clinic page on personality disorders* NHS page on Borderline Personality Disorder* Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie's 2021 essay “It is Obscene”* Tom's Unherd article on this controversy* 2009 paper on Dissociative Identity Disorder and its overlap with Borderline Personality Disorder* Comparison of patients with DID and BPD, with a discussion of the overlap* Pieces by people with BPD diagnoses who've regularly changed their dress/style* Tom's book on Bayesianism* Sceptical article about top-down effects on perception* Paper on the “predictive processing” theory of BPD* Scott Alexander article on the same topic* Twin study on the overlap between BPD and antisocial personality disorder, and potential sex differences* Longitudinal studies on whether people “age out” of BPD* People higher in “dark tetrad” traits are more likely to enjoy trolling people onlineCreditsThe Studies Show is produced by Julian Mayers at Yada Yada Productions. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.thestudiesshowpod.com/subscribe

I've never highlighted a book as much as They're Not Gaslighting You: Ditch the Therapy Speak and Stop Hunting for Red Flags in Every Relationship.  It's my favorite book in 2025! Watch the Video Interview Author Dr. Isabelle Morley gives us a timely book that rejects the reckless proliferation of the following terms:  Sociopath Psychopath Love bomb Narcissist Boundaries Borderline Toxic Gaslighting Who is Dr. Isabelle Morley? Dr. Morley is not a chronic gaslighter trying to convince the world that she doesn't gaslight by writing a book about it. Here's her resume: Author of Navigating Intimacy and They're Not Gaslighting You Co-host of the podcast Romcom Rescue Contributor to Psychology Today Advisory Board Member of the Keepler app Founding Board Member of UCAN Member of the American Psychological Association Certified in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) The Gottman Method – Completed Levels 1 and 2 Relational Life Therapy – Completed Level 1 PsyD in Clinical Psychology from William James College, 2015 Doctoral project researching hookup culture's impact on relationship formation, 2015 Master's in Professional Psychology from William James College, 2013 Bachelor of Arts from Tufts University, 2011 My Fatima Story I dated a woman for two years. Let's call her Fatima. In the second half of our relationship, Fatima bombarded me with many of the highly charged and often misused words listed above. After she dumped me the fifth and final time, I finally pushed back on her barrage of accusations. I said to her, “So, you truly believe I'm a narcissist? Let's look up the clinical definition of a narcissist and see how I stack up.” She agreed. Perplexity wrote: To be clinically considered as having Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) according to the DSM-5, an individual must exhibit at least five out of nine specific characteristics. These characteristics, as summarized by the acronym “SPECIAL ME,” include: Sense of self-importance Exaggerating achievements and expecting to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements. Preoccupation Being preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love Entitled Having unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with their expectations. Can only be around people who are important or special Believing that they are “special” and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions). Interpersonally exploitative Taking advantage of others to achieve their own ends. Arrogant Showing arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes. Lack empathy Being unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others. Must be admired Requiring excessive admiration. Envious Often being envious of others or believing that others are envious of them. These symptoms must be pervasive, apparent in various social situations, and consistently rigid over time. A qualified healthcare professional typically diagnoses NPD through a clinical interview. The traits should also substantially differ from social norms. I asked her how many of these nine characteristics I exhibited consistently, pervasively, and in many social situations. She agreed that I was nowhere near five of the nine. Admittedly, I sometimes exhibited some of these nine characteristics in my intimate relationship with Fatima. I'm certainly guilty of that. However, to qualify as a true narcissist, you must display at least five of these nine characteristics often and with most people, not just your partner. To her credit, my ex-girlfriend sheepishly backed down from that accusation, saying, “You're right, Francis, you're not a narcissist.” Later, I would educate her (or, as she would say, “mansplain”) about another of her favorite words: gaslighting. I mansplained by sending her a video clip of renowned couples therapist Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman, who explained why standard disagreements and having different perspectives aren't gaslighting. Soon after explaining that, Mrs. Gottman explains why, in some ways, “everybody is narcissistic.” Watch 6 minutes from 1:35:30 to 1:41:30: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H9kPmiV0B34&t=5730s After listening to an expert define gaslighting, Fatima apologized for incorrectly using the term. This is what I loved about Fatima: she wouldn't stubbornly cling to her position when presented with compelling evidence to the contrary. This is a rare trait I cherish. Narcissists and sociopaths are about 1% of the population, so it's highly unlikely that all your exes are narcissists and sociopaths. Still, Fatima flung other popular, misused terms at me. She loved talking about “boundaries” and “red flags.” According to Dr. Morley, my ex “weaponized therapy speak.”   Dr. Morley writes, “It's not a new phenomenon for people to use therapy terms casually, even flippantly, to describe themselves or other people. How long have we referred to someone as a ‘psycho' when they're acting irrationally or being mean?” Although weaponized therapy speak isn't new, it's ubiquitous nowadays. Dr. Morley's book sounds the alarm that it's out of control and dangerous. Three types of people would benefit from Dr. Morley's book: People like Fatima: Does someone you know tend to denigrate people using therapy speak? Are they intelligent, rational, and open-minded like Fatima? If so, they must read this book to recalibrate how they use these powerful words. People like me: Are you (or someone you know) accused of being a psychopath, a gaslighter, or a person with OCD? Actual victims: The explosion of use of these powerful words has diluted their meaning. As a result, the real victims of narcissists and sociopaths are now belittled. Their true suffering is minimized when every other person has a sociopath in their life. Their grievances are severe. Let's not equate our relationship problems with their terror. I'll list some of my favorite chapter titles, which will give you a flavor of the book's message: Chapter 4: Are They Gaslighting You, or Do They Just Disagree? Chapter 5: Do They Have OCD, or Are They Just Particular? Chapter 6: Is It a Red Flag, or Are They Just Imperfect? Chapter 7: Are They a Narcissist, or Did They Just Hurt Your Feelings? Chapter 9: Are They a Sociopath, or Do They Just Like You Less Than you Like Them? Chapter 11: Did They Violate Your Boundaries, or Did They Just Not Know How You Felt? I will quote extensively to encourage everyone to buy Dr. Mosley's book. Most quotations are self-explanatory, but sometimes I will offer personal commentary. Excerpts The trend of weaponized therapy speak marks something very different. These days, clinical words are wielded, sincerely and self-righteously, to lay unilateral blame on one person in a relationship while excusing the other from any wrongdoing. ========== Many times, we use these words as protective measures to help us avoid abusive partners and reduce our risk of “wasting” time or emotional energy on family or friends who don't deserve it. But using these terms can also absolve people from taking responsibility for their actions in their relationships. They can say, “I had to do that because of my obsessive-compulsive disorder” or “We didn't work out because she's a narcissist,” instead of doing the hard work of seeing their part in the problem and addressing the issues behind it. As a couples therapist, I'm particularly concerned with how the enthusiastic but inaccurate embrace of clinical terminology has made it harder to sustain healthy romantic attachments. With Fatima, our relationship woes were always my fault because I crossed her “boundaries” and I was a “narcissist.” If I disagreed, I was “gaslighting” her. Or I was being “defensive” instead of apologizing. And when I apologized, I did so incorrectly because I offered excuses after saying I'm sorry (she was right about that). The point is that she used weaponized therapy speak to demonize me, alleviating herself from the burden of considering that perhaps she shared some of the responsibility for our woes. ========== Their friend doesn't agree with their warped view of an event or their disproportionate reaction? The friend is an empathy-lacking narcissist who is actively gaslighting them. ========== In one memorable session of mine, a client managed to accuse their partner of narcissism, gaslighting, love bombing, blaming the victim, lacking accountability, having no empathy, and being generally abusive, manipulative, and toxic . . . all within twenty minutes. Although Fatima and I went to couples therapy, I don't remember Dr. Mosley being our facilitator, but that sure sounds like Fatima! LOL! ========== I'm certified in emotionally focused couples therapy (EFCT), which is a type of couples therapy based on attachment theory. ========== For example, if you feel like a failure for letting your partner down, you might immediately minimize your partner's feelings and tell them they shouldn't react so strongly to such a small issue. (For anyone wondering, this isn't gaslighting.) That makes them feel unheard and unimportant, so they get even more upset, which makes you dismiss their reaction as dramatic, and round and round it goes. Welcome to my world with Fatima! ========== You could claim your partner is toxic and borderline because they're emotionally volatile and unforgiving. You could say their feelings are disproportionate to the problem, and their verbal assault is bordering on abusive. But your partner could say that you are a narcissist who is gaslighting them by refusing to acknowledge their feelings, showing no empathy for the distress your tardiness caused, and shifting the blame to them (just like a narcissist would!). You'd both be wrong, of course, but you can see how these conclusions could happen. ========== Weaponized therapy speak is our attempt to understand people and situations in our lives, yes, but it is also a strategy to avoid responsibility. It puts the blame solely on the other person and allows us to ignore our part. ========== However, the vast majority of partners and friends are not sociopaths, narcissists, or abusers. They're just flawed. They're insecure, demanding, controlling, emotional, or any number of adjectives, but these traits alone aren't pathological. ========== But doing such things now and then in our relational histories, or doing them often in just one relationship, doesn't mean we have a personality disorder. These diagnoses are reserved for people who exhibit a persistent pattern of maladaptive behaviors in most or all of their close relationships. ========== I wasn't an abusive partner. I was a messy newcomer to relationships, as we usually are in our teens and twenties, trying my best to navigate my feelings while following bad examples from television and making plenty of other blunders along the way. Stonewalling was immature and an unhelpful way of coping, but it wasn't abuse. ========== If we're looking for a partner who will always do the right thing, even in the hardest moments, we're only setting ourselves up for disappointment. As I mentioned before, really good people can behave really badly. ========== If we don't know the difference between abusive behavior and normal problematic behavior, we're at risk for either accepting abuse (thinking that it's just a hard time) or, alternatively, throwing away a perfectly good relationship because we can't accept any flaws or mistakes. Alas, Fatima threw away a perfectly good relationship. I was her second boyfriend. Her lack of experience made her underappreciate what we had. She'll figure it out with the next guy. ========== Disagreeing with someone, thinking your loved one is objectively wrong, arguing about what really happened and what was actually said, trying to find your way to the one and only “truth”—these are things that most people do. They are not helpful or effective, but they also are not gaslighting. ========== “What? I didn't say yes to seeing it, Cece. I said yes to finding houses we both liked and visiting them. Sometimes you just hear what you want to and then get mad at me when you realize it's not what I actually said,” Meg answers. “Stop gaslighting me! Don't tell me what happened. I remember exactly what you said! You told me yes to this open house and then changed your mind, and I'm upset about it. I'm allowed to be upset about it; don't invalidate my feelings!” Cece says, her frustration growing. Meg feels surprised and nervous. She didn't think she was gaslighting Cece, which is exactly what she says. “I didn't mean to gaslight you. I just remember this differently. I don't remember saying I would go to this open house, so that's why I don't understand why you're this upset.” “Yes, you are gaslighting me because you're trying to convince me that what I clearly remember happening didn't happen. But you can't gaslight me because I'm positive I'm right.” ========== Cece's accusation of gaslighting quickly shut down the conversation, labeling Meg as a terrible partner and allowing Cece to exit the conversation as the victor. ========== I find gaslighting to be one of the harder labels to deal with in my clinical work for three reasons: 1. Accusations of gaslighting are incredibly common. I hear accusations of gaslighting at least once a week, and yet it's only been accurate about five times in my entire clinical career. Boyfriend didn't agree with what time you were meeting for dinner? Gaslighting. Spouse said you didn't tell them to pick up milk on the way home, but you swear you did? Gaslighting. ========== You could say, “I want you to know that I really understand your perspective on this. I see things differently, but your experience is valid, and it makes sense. I'm not trying to convince you that you're wrong and I'm right, and I'm sorry if I came across that way.” WHAT IS VALIDATION? Validation is another word that suffers from frequent misuse. People demand validation, but what they're really asking for is agreement. And if someone doesn't agree, they call it toxic. Here's the thing, though: Validation is not the same as agreement. ========== You can disagree in your head but still validate how they feel: “Hey, you're not crazy. I see why you'd feel that way. It makes sense to me. I'd probably feel that way too if I were in your shoes, experiencing our interaction the way you did. I care about your feelings.” ========== “I bet it felt really awful to have me challenge your experience and make you feel like it wasn't right or valid.” I regret I learned this lesson too late with Fatima. I was too slow to validate her feelings. We learn something in every relationship. Ideally, our partner is patient with us as we stumble through the learning process, often repeating the same error until we form a new habit. However, Fatima ran out of patience with me. I couldn't change fast enough for her, even though I was eager to learn and dying to please her. By the time I began to learn about proper validation and apologies, she had given up on me. ========== My husband, Lucas, hates it when lids aren't properly put on jars. You know, when a lid is half on and still loose or haphazardly tightened and askew? I, on the other hand, could not care less. I am the only perpetrator of putting lids on wrong in our house. I barely screw on the top to the pickles, peanut butter, medications, water bottles, or food storage containers. I don't even realize that I do it because I care so little about it. This drives Lucas absolutely crazy. I love this example because it's what I would repeatedly tell Fatima: some habits are hard to break. Dr. Mosley knows her husband hates half-closed jars, but she struggles to comply with his wishes. We're imperfect creatures. ========== Is your partner always leaving a wet towel on the floor after showering? Red flag—they're irresponsible and will expect you to clean up after them. Is your friend bad at texting to let you know when they're behind schedule? Red flag—they're selfish, inconsiderate, and don't value your time. It's all too easy to weaponize this term in a relationship, in hopes that it will shame the other person into changing. ========== People aren't perfect. Individually, we're messy, and in relationships, we're much messier. We all make mistakes, sometimes repeatedly for our entire lives. Instead of labeling all unwanted behaviors as red flags and expecting change or running away altogether, try a new approach: Identify why those behaviors hurt you and share that with your loved one instead. ========== When confronted with the knowledge that we've hurt someone, many of us become defensive. We hate the idea of hurting the person we love and since we usually didn't intend to hurt them, we start explaining why our actions weren't that bad and why they shouldn't feel upset. It comes from a place of inadequacy, self-criticism, and remorse. If the other person responds like this but you can tell they care about your pain, this may be a good time to give them some grace in the form of empathy and time. Wait a few hours or even a few days, then try the conversation again. For every criticism I had about Fatima's behavior, she had 20 criticisms about my behavior. As a result, I had many more opportunities to fall into the trap of becoming defensive. It's so hard to resist. I'm still working on that front. ========== We all have a touch of narcissism, which can get bigger at certain points in life, ========== Conflicts are upsetting, and we've all developed ways of protecting ourselves, whether it's getting loud to be heard or emotionally withdrawing to prevent a panic attack. Underneath these less-than-ideal responses, though, we feel awful. We feel scared, insecure, inadequate, unimportant, and alone. We hate fighting with our loved ones, and we really hate that we've hurt them, especially unknowingly. We're not being defensive because we have a narcissistic belief in our own superiority; we're doing it because we're terrified that the person won't understand us and will see us negatively, so we need to show them our side and explain to them why we aren't to blame. ========== But whether it's an inflated ego, vanity, self-absorption, or just unusually healthy confidence, these traits do not make a narcissist. To have NPD, the person must also require external validation and admiration, and to be seen as superior to others. This is the difference between a big ego and grandiosity. Grandiosity goes several steps beyond confidence—it's a near-delusional sense of importance, where someone exaggerates their achievements and expects others to see them as superior. ========== Some people suck. They're immature, mean, selfish, and unremorseful. Some people don't respect other people in their lives. They lie and they cheat, and they don't care that it hurts others. But they can be all these things and still not be a narcissist. There's a lot of room for people to be awful without meeting the criteria for a personality disorder, and that's because (you guessed it!) people are flawed. Some people feel justified in behaving badly, while others just don't know any better yet. Our growth is messy and not linear. ========== The reality is that anyone who genuinely worries that they are a narcissist, probably isn't. That level of openness and willingness to self-reflect is not typical of a narcissist. Plus, narcissists don't tend to believe or care that they've hurt others, whereas my clients are deeply distressed by the possibility that they've unknowingly caused others pain. ========== As with gaslighting, I have rarely seen people accurately diagnose narcissism. To put it bluntly, I have never seen a client in a couples therapy session call their partner a narcissist and be right. In fact, the person misusing the label usually tends to be more narcissistic and have more therapy work to do than their partner. ========== person involved with a narcissist to accurately identify the disorder because people with NPD are great at making other people think they are the problem. It's an insidious process, and rarely do people realize what's happening until others point it out to them or the narcissist harshly devalues or leaves them. Now, you might be in a relationship with someone who has NPD, but instead of jumping to “narcissist!” it's helpful to use other adjectives and be more specific about your concerns. Saying that a certain behavior was selfish or that a person seems unremorseful is more exact than calling them a narcissist. ========== Love bombing can happen at any point in a relationship, but it's most often seen at the start. ========== Love bombing is also a typical follow-up to fights. ========== Humans are a complicated species. Despite our amazing cognitive capacities and our innate desire to be good (well, most of us anyway), we often cause harm. People act in ways that can damage their relationships, both intentionally and unknowingly, but that doesn't make them sociopaths. In fact, anyone in a close and meaningful relationship will end up hurting the other person and will also end up getting hurt at some point because close relationships inevitably involve a degree of pain, be it disappointment, sadness, anger, or frustration. Even when we're doing our best, we hurt each other. We can't equate normal missteps and hurt with sociopathy. ========== People love to call their exes sociopaths, just like they love calling them narcissists. Dr. Mosley focuses on the term sociopath because it's more popular nowadays than the term psychopath, but they both suffer from misuse and overuse, she says. If your partner (or you) use the term psychopath often, then in the following excerpts, replace the word “sociopath” with “psychopath.” ========== calling someone a sociopath is extreme. You're calling them out as a human who has an underdeveloped (or nonexistent) capacity to be a law-abiding, respectful, moral member of society. And in doing so, you're saying they were the entire problem in your relationship. Unless you were with a person who displayed a variety of extreme behaviors that qualify as ASPD, that conclusion isn't fair, accurate, or serving you. Again, you're missing out on the opportunity to reflect on your part in the problem, examine how you could have been more effective in the relationship, and identify how you can change for the better in your next relationship. If you label your ex a sociopath and call it a day, you're cutting yourself short. ========== Let the record show that I have never seen someone use the term sociopath correctly in their relationship. ========== some boundaries are universal and uncrossable, but the majority are personal preferences that need to be expressed and, at times, negotiated. Claiming a boundary violation is a quick and easy way to control someone's behavior, and that's why it's important to clarify what this phrase means and how to healthily navigate boundaries in a relationship. Fatima loved to remind me of and enforce her “boundaries.” It was a long list, so I inevitably crossed them, which led to drama. ========== There are some boundaries we all agree are important and should be uncrossable—I call these universal boundaries. Violating universal boundaries, especially when done repeatedly without remorse or regard for the impact it has on the other person, amounts to abuse. ========== The main [universal boundaries] are emotional, physical, sexual, and financial boundaries ========== Outside of these universal, uncrossable boundaries, there are also individual boundaries. Rather than applying to all people, these boundaries are specific to the person and defined by their own preferences and needs. As such, they are flexible, fluid over time, and full of nuance. If they are crossed, it can be uncomfortable, but it isn't necessarily abuse. ========== boundary is a line drawn to ensure safety and autonomy, whereas a preference is something that would make you feel happy but is not integral to your sense of relational security or independence. ========== While a well-adjusted person might start a dialogue about how to negotiate an individual boundary in a way that honors both partners' needs, an abusive person will never consider if their boundary can be shifted or why it might be damaging or significantly limiting to the other person. Instead, they will accuse, blame, and manipulate their partner as their way of keeping that person within their controlling limits. ========== The point is that as we go through life, our boundaries shift. As you can see, this is part of what makes it difficult for people to anticipate or assess boundary violations. If you expect and demand that the people close to you honor your specific boundaries on certain topics, but you're not telling them what the boundaries are or when and how they've changed, you're setting your loved ones up for failure. ========== And again, people unknowingly cross each other's individual boundaries all the time. It's simply inevitable. ========== It will create an unnecessary and unproductive rift. 3. We Mistake Preferences for Boundaries Boundaries protect our needs for safety and security. Preferences promote feelings of happiness, pleasure, or calm. When someone crosses a boundary, it compromises our physical or mental health. When someone disregards a preference, we may feel annoyed, but it doesn't pose a risk to our well-being. ========== You've Been Accused of Violating a Boundary If you're in a close relationship, chances are you're going to violate the other person's boundaries at some point. This is especially likely if the person has not told you what boundaries are important to them. However, you might also be unjustly accused of violating a boundary, perhaps a boundary you didn't know about or a preference masquerading as a boundary, and you'll need to know what to do. ========== I never thought of telling Fatima that she was “borderline.” It helps that I didn't know what the term meant. Dr. Mosley says that a person must have several of the “borderline” characteristics to have borderline personality disorder (BPD). Fatima only had one of them, so she did not have BPD. Here's the only BPD trait she exhibited: Stormy, intense, and chaotic relationships: Have relationships that tend to be characterized by extremes of idealization and devaluation in which the person with BPD idolizes someone one moment and then vilifies them the next. Because they struggle to see others in a consistent and nuanced way, their relationships go through tumultuous ups and downs, where they desire intense closeness one minute and then reject the person the next. Fatima promised me, “I will love you forever,” “I want to marry you,” “I will be with you until death,” “I'll never leave you,” and other similar extreme promises. Three days later, she would dump me and tell me she never wanted to get back together. Two days later, she apologized and wanted to reunite. Soon, she would be making her over-the-top romantic declarations again. She'd write them and say them repeatedly, not just while making love. Eventually, I'd fuck up again. Instead of collaborating to prevent further fuck ups, Fatima would simply break up with me with little to no discussion. This would naturally make me question her sincerity when she repeatedly made her I-will-be-with-you-forever promises. You might wonder why I was so fucking stupid to reunite with her after she did that a couple of times. Why did I always beg her to reconsider and reunite with me even after we repeated the pattern four times? (The fifth time she dumped me was the last time.) Humans are messy. I expect imperfection. I know my loved one will repeatedly do stupid shit because I sure will. So, I forgave her knee-jerk breakup reaction because I knew she didn't do it out of malice. She did it to protect herself. She was in pain. She thought that pulling the plug would halt the pain. That's reasonable but wrong. That doesn't matter. She's learning, I figured. I need to be patient. I was hopeful we'd break the pattern and learn how to deal with conflict maturely. We didn't. I'm confident she'll figure it out soon, just like I learned from my mistakes with her. ========== If I had to pick one word to describe people with BPD, it would be unstable. Fatima was unstable in a narrow situation: only with one person (me) and only when the shit hit the fan with me. Aside from that, she was highly stable. Hence, it would have been ludicrous if I accused her of having Borderline Personality Disorder. Luckily, I never knew the overused borderline term; even if I did, I wouldn't be tempted to use it on her. ========== Just as with red flags, we all exhibit some toxic behaviors at times. I don't know anyone who has lived a toxic-free existence. Sometimes we go through tough phases where our communication and coping skills are down, and we'll act more toxically than we might normally; this doesn't make us a toxic person. Indeed, many romantic relationships go through toxic episodes, if you will (should we make “toxic episode” a thing?), where people aren't communicating well, are escalating conflicts, and are generally behaving badly. We need to normalize a certain level of temporary or situational toxicity while also specifying what we mean by saying “toxic.” This is the only way we can determine whether the relationship needs help or needs ending. ========== trauma is itself a heavy, often misunderstood word. Its original meaning referenced what we now call “big T” trauma: life-threatening events such as going to war or surviving a car crash. Nowadays, we also talk about “little t” trauma: events that cause significant distress but aren't truly life-threatening, like being bullied in school or having an emotionally inconsistent parent. ========== Avoiding relationships with anyone who triggers hard feelings will mean a very lonely existence. ========== a trauma bond is the connection that survivors feel with their abuser. ========== A captured soldier who defends his captors? That person is, in fact, trauma bonded. ========== soldiers aren't trauma bonded after going to war together; they're socially bonded, albeit in an unusually deep way. A captured soldier who defends his captors? That person is, in fact, trauma bonded. ========== None of us get to have a happy relationship without hard times and hard work. It's normal and okay to sometimes struggle with the person you're close to or love. When the struggle happens, don't despair. Within the struggle are opportunities to invest in the relationship and grow, individually and together. ========== If you determine your relationship is in a tough spot but not abusive, now's the time for some hard relational work. A good cocktail for working on your relationship is specificity, vulnerability, and commitment. ========== Making a relationship work requires you and your loved ones to self-reflect, take responsibility, and change. This process won't just happen once; it's a constant cycle you'll go through repeatedly over the course of the relationship. You'll both need to look at yourselves, own what you've done wrong or could do better, and work to improve. Nobody is ever finished learning and growing, not individually and certainly not in a relationship. But that's what can be so great about being in a relationship: It's a never-ending opportunity to become a better person. And when you mess up (because trust me, you will), be kind to yourself. As I keep saying, humans are wonderfully imperfect. Even when we know what to do, sometimes we just don't or can't do it. ========== In this world of messy humans, how do you know who will be a good person for you to be with? My answer: Choose someone who wants to keep doing the work with you. There is no perfect person or partner for you, no magical human that won't ever hurt, irritate, enrage, or overwhelm you. Being in close relationships inevitably leads to big, scary feelings at times, so pick someone who wants to get through the dark times with you. Remember that when people are behaving badly in a desperate attempt to connect—not control—they'll be able to look at themselves, recognize the bad behavior, and change. Pick someone who has the willingness to self-reflect and grow, even if it's hard. Someone who will hang in there, even during your worst fights, and ultimately say, “Listen, this is awful, and I don't want to keep arguing like this, but I love you and I want to figure this out with you.” Wow. So well said. And this, in a paragraph, explains where Fatima and I failed. I dislike pointing fingers at my ex when explaining why we broke up. I made 90% of the mistakes in my relationship with Fatima, so I bear most of the responsibility. However, Fatima was the weaker one on one metric: having someone who wants to collaborate to make a beautiful relationship despite the hardships. The evident proof is that she dumped me five times, whereas I never dumped her or even threatened to dump her. I always wanted to use our problems as a chance to learn and improve. Fatima used them as an excuse to quit. She tried. She really did. However, she lacked the commitment Dr. Mosley discussed in that paragraph. Perhaps another man will inspire Fatima to find the strength and courage to bounce back and not throw in the towel. Or maybe she will mature and evolve to a point where she can be with someone less compatible than I was for her. She would often declare, “Francis, we're incompatible.” I'd say, “No, we are compatible; we have incompatibilities. Everyone has incompatibilities. We just need to work through them. If there is a willingness to collaborate, we can solve any incompatibility. The only couples who are truly incompatible are the ones where one or both individuals refuse to budge or learn. We can overcome countless incompatibilities as long as we both want to be together.” ========== We have wounds and scars and bad habits. We rely on ineffective but protective coping mechanisms. We push others away when we're hurt or scared. ========== Everyone behaves badly sometimes. But even then, odds are they're not gaslighting you. Conclusion I'll repeat: They're Not Gaslighting You: Ditch the Therapy Speak and Stop Hunting for Red Flags in Every Relationship is my favorite book in 2025! Buy it! Feedback Leave anonymous audio feedback at SpeakPipe More info You can post comments, ask questions, and sign up for my newsletter at http://wanderlearn.com. If you like this podcast, subscribe and share!  On social media, my username is always FTapon. Connect with me on: Facebook Twitter YouTube Instagram TikTok LinkedIn Pinterest Tumblr My Patrons sponsored this show! Claim your monthly reward by becoming a patron at http://Patreon.com/FTapon Rewards start at just $2/month! Affiliate links Get 25% off when you sign up to Trusted Housesitters, a site that helps you find sitters or homes to sit in. Start your podcast with my company, Podbean, and get one month free! In the USA, I recommend trading crypto with Kraken.  Outside the USA, trade crypto with Binance and get 5% off your trading fees! For backpacking gear, buy from Gossamer Gear.

Xannie and Katja hear from special guest, Nasiba, who shares her harrowing journey of trauma, self-discovery, and healing as someone living with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). From childhood abuse to the struggles of adulthood, her candid storytelling reveals how cultural perceptions of mental health can complicate recovery. Join us as we explore the emotional rollercoaster of BPD, discuss self-destructive behaviors, and celebrate the journey toward self-acceptance and forgiveness. This episode is not just for those living with BPD but also for friends and family seeking to understand. Don't miss the insights that could change lives!

Wrapping up their conversation from Wednesday, Xannie, Jay, André, Georgette and Katja sdiscuss practical tips for creating effective routines, the importance of external accountability, and how to balance chaos with calm. Thanks again to our BPD Besties on Patreon for voting on this topic and joining us behind the scenes during filming! We always have a blast with you.Whether you're living with BPD or supporting someone who is, this episode is packed with insights that can make a real difference. Don't forget to like, subscribe, and hit the notification bell to stay updated on our journey together!More on what Katja said about habits in 66 days: https://www.healthline.com/health/how-long-does-it-take-to-form-a-habit#:~:text=Depending%20on%20what%20it%20is,help%20to%20develop%20new%20onesMay 21st we'll be back to talk about BPD & Structure. Can't wait until then? Sign up for our "BPD Buddies" or "BPD Besties" tiers on Patreon to get early access to an exclusive extended cut of next week's episode NOW! https://www.patreon.com/thebpdbunch

THANK YOU to our BPD Besties on Patreon for voting on this topic and joining us behind the scenes during filming! We always have a blast with you.In this episode, Xannie, Jay, André, Georgette and Katja share personal stories, struggles, and insights about the impact of BPD on their ability to maintain a structured life. The Bunch cover both extremes; the difficulties that come from being overly rigid with structure, as well as the struggles to maintain any structure at all.Whether you're battling BPD yourself or supporting someone who is, this episode is packed with relatable experiences and valuable advice that may just change your perspective. Don't miss out on this emotional journey filled with laughter, hard truths, and important takeaways. Check out the shortcut to Lena's intro video to see what Xannie was referencing!Friday we'll be back to share our top tips for maintaining structure. Hit that subscribe button to stay connected!May 21st we'll be back to talk about BPD & Structure. Can't wait until then? Sign up for our "BPD Buddies" or "BPD Besties" tiers on Patreon to get early access to an exclusive extended cut of next week's episode NOW! https://www.patreon.com/thebpdbunch

Borderline Personality Disorder ~ I am grieving the loss of my . . . therapist. Listen to caller's personal dramas four times each week as Dr. Kenner takes your calls and questions on parenting, romance, love, family, marriage, divorce, hobbies, career, mental health - any personal issue! Call anytime, toll free 877-Dr-Kenner. Visit www.drkenner.com for more information about the show.

In this minisode, Xannie, Carys, André, and Katja share personal stories and insights that reveal how a lack of boundaries can lead to emotional turmoil and self-destructive behavior. Are you struggling with relationships or feeling overwhelmed by your emotions? This episode is packed with wisdom and real-life experiences that can help you understand the critical role boundaries play in your mental health. Don't miss out – subscribe now and turn on notifications for more enlightening discussionsMay 14th we'll be back with our PATRON'S VOTE Episode, on BPD & Structure! Can't wait until then? Sign up for our "BPD Buddies" or "BPD Besties" tiers on Patreon to get early access to an exclusive extended cut of next week's episode NOW! https://www.patreon.com/thebpdbunch

Wrapping up their conversation from Wednesday Xannie, Carys, André, and Katja share their personal revelations and experiences, exploring the hidden triggers that lead to self-destructive behaviors. The Bunch discuss how moments of clarity can spark meaningful change and the importance of recognizing when we are our own worst enemies. Whether you're living with BPD or supporting someone who is, this episode offers valuable insights and encouragement. Don't miss out on the chance to better understand yourself or your loved ones in this journey of healing and self-acceptance. Hit that subscribe button and turn on notifications so you never miss an episode!May 14th we'll be back with our PATRON'S VOTE Episode, on BPD & Structure! Can't wait until then? Sign up for our "BPD Buddies" or "BPD Besties" tiers on Patreon to get early access to an exclusive extended cut of next week's episode NOW! https://www.patreon.com/thebpdbunch

Understanding BPD: Recovery, Relationships, and Legal ChallengesIn this powerful episode, High Conflict Institute co-founders Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter welcome Shehrina Rooney, author and BPD recovery advocate, for an enlightening discussion about Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Through personal experience and professional insight, they explore how BPD impacts relationships, parenting, and legal proceedings, while challenging common misconceptions about the disorder.Shehrina shares her journey from being a successful YouTube personality with over 30,000 subscribers to facing significant personal and legal challenges. Her story illuminates the complex intersection of BPD, trauma, and the legal system, particularly in family court settings. She discusses how BPD diagnosis can be weaponized in legal proceedings and the importance of looking beyond labels to see the whole person.Bill and Megan delve into the crucial differences between active BPD symptoms and recovery, emphasizing how courts and legal professionals often struggle to understand these distinctions. The conversation explores the frequent overlap between BPD and other personality patterns, particularly in toxic relationships, and how this affects family court outcomes.The discussion also addresses the stigma surrounding BPD and the need for better understanding among legal and mental health professionals. They examine how reframing BPD as an emotional regulation issue rather than a personality disorder could help reduce stigma and improve treatment approaches.Questions we answer in this episode:How does BPD recovery differ from active BPD symptoms?What challenges do people with BPD face in family court?How can legal professionals better understand and handle BPD cases?What's the connection between BPD and toxic relationships?How does trauma interact with BPD diagnosis and treatment?Key Takeaways:BPD recovery is possible and changes behavior significantlyCourts need to consider both parents' behaviors, not just diagnosesSelf-awareness and support systems are crucial for BPD recoveryTrauma often intersects with BPD diagnosis and treatmentRenaming BPD could help reduce stigma and improve understandingThis episode offers invaluable insights for legal professionals, mental health practitioners, and anyone affected by BPD. Through Shehrina's powerful personal story and the hosts' expert analysis, listeners gain a deeper understanding of BPD while learning practical approaches for handling high conflict situations involving personality disorders in legal and personal contexts.Links & Other NotesGUEST SHEHRINA ROONEYhttps://www.youtube.com/recoverymum (videos not available currently)BOOKSThe Big Book on Borderline Personality DisorderPaperback - on Unhooked Books website(25% discount through 5/31/25)Paperback on Amazon USPaperback on Amazon UKPaperback on Amazon Australiae-BookCOURSESConflict Influencer 6-Week ClassNew Ways for Families® Training for counselors and divorce coachesCounselors hereCoaches hereNew Ways for Families® Online Class for ParentsOUR WEBSITE: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing general patterns of behavior. Nor are we providing legal or therapeutic advice. Please seek the assistance of your local professionals to seek help. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (01:36) - Meet Shehrina (09:13) - Recovery and Self-Awareness (16:09) - Changes in Behavior (17:48) - A Lot to Be Learned (22:30) - A Lawyer's Approach (25:31) - A Spectrum (26:56) - Every Case Is Different (28:56) - Slowly Getting Better (31:17) - Emotion Disregulation (32:44) - Therapists (34:33) - What's Going On and What to Do (39:47) - Combinations (41:49) - Determining the Strategy of What to Do (42:47) - Women vs. Men (43:28) - Wrap Up (44:05) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Another Guest! Learn more about our Conflict Influencer Class. Get started today!

In this candid episode, Xannie, Carys, André and Katja discuss the struggle of self-sabotage faced by many living with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). The Bunch share their personal stories and experiences, exploring the emotional turmoil that leads to self-destructive behaviors. Discover how these patterns impact relationships, careers, and self-worth. If you or someone you care about is navigating the complexities of BPD, this episode is a must-watch. Hit that subscribe button for more insights and support in your journey toward healing!Friday we'll be back to talk about how we've learned to recognize self-sabotaging behavior. Don't forget to like, subscribe, and turn on notifications so you can join us as we unravel these captivating stories!May 14th we'll be back to talk about BPD & Structure. Can't wait until then? Sign up for our "BPD Buddies" or "BPD Besties" tiers on Patreon to get early access to an exclusive extended cut of next week's episode NOW! https://www.patreon.com/thebpdbunch

“I hate you.” If you've ever heard those words from your child, you know how painful and jarring they can be. In this episode of Family Vision, Rob and Amy Rienow continue their series on the Ten Commandments with a deep dive into the Sixth Commandment—“You shall not murder”—and how Jesus reveals that anger and hatred in the heart are spiritual expressions of that same sin. They unpack what it means for parents and children to struggle with anger, bitterness, and hatred—and how we can proactively disciple our families toward healing, grace, and reconciliation. This is a timely conversation for any parent dealing with emotional outbursts, strained relationships, or the heartache of children turning away. What You'll Learn in This Episode: - Why anger and hatred are spiritual violations of the Sixth Commandment - What to do when your child says “I hate you” - How the words we use—like “idiot” or “hate”—reveal the condition of our hearts - The cultural danger of justifying hatred in the name of righteousness - A biblical strategy to help children (and parents) find freedom from anger Featured Resources: Free MP3 Seminar — Helping Your Child Find Freedom from Anger: https://visionaryfam.com/freedom Visionary Family Camp — Join us at Cedar Bay, July 19–25. Register by June 1: https://visionaryfam.com/camp Join the Visionary Family Community — Learn more and sign up at https://visionaryfam.com/community Need Prayer? We'd love to pray with you. Send your requests to podcast@visionaryfam.com. Like This Episode? Help more families discover the podcast by subscribing, leaving a review, and sharing it with your friends. Next Episode Preview: Next week, we take on the Seventh Commandment—“Do not commit adultery”—and talk about how to help our children and teens pursue purity in a world filled with temptation.

Join Xannie, Georgette, and Katja as they tackle common clichés like "people with BPD can't maintain relationships" and "BPD means you're selfish." Through candid conversation, they explore the nuances of living with BPD, the impact of trauma, and the importance of treatment. Whether you're struggling with BPD or supporting someone who is, this episode aims to shed light on the complexities of the disorder and debunk harmful myths. Don't forget to like, subscribe, and hit the notification bell to stay updated on all things BPD!

Wrapping up their conversation from Wednesday Mo, Hak Ja, Xannie and André discuss the borderline personality disorder (BPD) traits they observe in TV characters Lila West from Dexter and Jessica from Jessica Jones. The Bunch share how they relate to these characters, revealing how their struggles reflect real-life experiences of those living with BPD. Whether you're navigating your own journey with BPD or supporting someone who is, this episode is packed with relatable moments, emotional insights, and a candid discussion about the impact of media representations on our understanding of mental illness. Don't miss out on a chance to connect and share your thoughts! Hit that subscribe button for more enlightening conversations!May 7th we'll be back to talk about BPD & Self Sabotage. Can't wait until then? Sign up for our "BPD Buddies" or "BPD Besties" tiers on Patreon to get early access to an exclusive extended cut of next week's episode NOW! https://www.patreon.com/thebpdbunch

Today's Topics: 1, 2, 3, 4) Do you suspect that you are dealing with someone who suffers from Borderline Personality Disorder? Learn more about Borderline Personality Disorder Traits and how to help our loved ones who might suffer from this

Join Xannie, André, Hak Ja and Mo as we explore the complex characters of Anakin Skywalker from Star Wars and Jinx from Arcane through the lens of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). We dive into their emotional struggles, impulsive behaviors, and the devastating impact of their relationships. This two-part series not only highlights the traits of BPD as depicted in popular culture but also offers relatable insights for those affected by similar challenges. Whether you're struggling with BPD yourself or supporting someone who is, this discussion is packed with empathy, understanding, and a deep connection to the characters we love. Friday we'll be back to talk about Lila West from Dexter and Jessica from Jessica Jones. Don't forget to like, subscribe, and turn on notifications so you can join us as we unravel these captivating stories!May 7th we'll be back to talk about BPD & Self Sabotage. Can't wait until then? Sign up for our "BPD Buddies" or "BPD Besties" tiers on Patreon to get early access to an exclusive extended cut of next week's episode NOW! https://www.patreon.com/thebpdbunch

In this heartfelt episode of BPD Brunch, we dive into the unique challenges faced by stay-at-home moms living with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Xannie chats with Georgette and Mo about their personal experiences, discuss the intense emotions that accompany motherhood, and explore the importance of community, support, and self-care. If you've ever felt lonely, overwhelmed, or misunderstood as a parent, this episode is for you. Discover practical advice on managing your emotions, strengthening relationships, and understanding the impact of BPD on parenting. Don't forget to like, subscribe, and hit the notification bell for more insights and support on your journey!

Join Xannie, and educators Katja and Georgette as they share their unique experiences navigating the challenges of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) in the classroom. From the rollercoaster of emotions to the surprising strengths that emerge from their struggles, this discussion uncovers the realities of teaching while managing BPD symptoms. Whether you're living with BPD or a friend or family member of someone who is, tune in for insights, inspiration, and a sense of community. Discover how these educators turn their challenges into teaching moments and find out what it truly means to teach with empathy and resilience. Don't miss out on their powerful stories!

While we don't want to put labels on people, it is important to be aware of certain patterns of behavior. Because the more awareness we have, the better we'll be able to navigate situations we find ourselves in.In this episode, you will learn:The characteristics, signs, and symptoms of narcissism and borderline personality disorder.How to draw boundaries and protect yourself from dysfunctional or even dangerous relationships.The truth behind the age-old question, "Can people really change?"Helpful LinksHave a question for Lysa, Jim, or Joel? Leave us a message, and it could be answered on one of our future podcast episodes! Start here.Download “Trust Is a Track Record: 5 Scriptural Truths To Remember God's Faithfulness" by Lysa TerKeurst here.Purchase "The Trust Journey Bundle" that includes I Want to Trust You, but I Don't by Lysa TerKeurst as well as The Trust Journey (a guided journal to use alongside I Want to Trust You, but I Don't) here.We'd like to extend a special thank-you to our sponsor for this season, Compassion International. When you sponsor a child, you'll receive the “Proverbs: The Beginning of All Wisdom” study guide as our gift to you! Go to compassion.com/proverbs31 to get started!Click here to download a transcript of this episode.Want More on This Topic?Listen to "Narcissism ... What It Is and What It Isn't."Listen to "Good Boundaries Lead to Better Relationships."Listen to Season 4 of Therapy & Theology called "Boundaries Boot Camp" with Jim Cress. Start by listening to "Here Is Your Permission To Set Boundaries."Watch "Realities of Life With a Narcissist."Read Good Boundaries and Goodbyes by Lysa TerKeurst.

[Rerun] Dr. Kirk does a deep dive on borderline personality disorder.This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/KIRK to get 10% off your first month.Become a member: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOUZWV1DRtHtpP2H48S7iiw/joinBecome a patron: https://www.patreon.com/PsychologyInSeattleEmail: https://www.psychologyinseattle.com/contactWebsite: https://www.psychologyinseattle.comMerch: https://psychologyinseattle-shop.fourthwall.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/psychologyinseattle/Facebook Official Page: https://www.facebook.com/PsychologyInSeattle/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@kirk.hondaNovember 16, 2015The Psychology In Seattle Podcast ®Trigger Warning: This episode may include topics such as assault, trauma, and discrimination. If necessary, listeners are encouraged to refrain from listening and care for their safety and well-being.Disclaimer: The content provided is for educational, informational, and entertainment purposes only. Nothing here constitutes personal or professional consultation, therapy, diagnosis, or creates a counselor-client relationship. Topics discussed may generate differing points of view. If you participate (by being a guest, submitting a question, or commenting) you must do so with the knowledge that we cannot control reactions or responses from others, which may not agree with you or feel unfair. Your participation on this site is at your own risk, accepting full responsibility for any liability or harm that may result. Anything you write here may be used for discussion or endorsement of the podcast. Opinions and views expressed by the host and guest hosts are personal views. Although, we take precautions and fact check, they should not be considered facts and the opinions may change. Opinions posted by participants (such as comments) are not those of the hosts. Readers should not rely on any information found here and should perform due diligence before taking any action. For a more extensive description of factors for you to consider, please see www.psychologyinseattle.com

What happens when the pain of trauma from sexual assault collides with the struggles of borderline personality disorder (BPD)?Join Xannie, Katja, Madhurima and André in this vulnerable episode as we discuss the harrowing experiences of individuals living with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) who have faced the trauma of sexual assault. With raw honesty, the Bunch share their stories, revealing the complexities of their emotions, the challenges of healing, and the importance of community support. This episode is a safe space for those who feel isolated in their struggles, offering insights and encouragement. If you or someone you know is navigating these difficult waters, tune in to discover that you are not alone. Note: While we will discuss the emotional impact and experiences related to these issues, we will not go into graphic detail about the assaults themselves. April 30th we'll be back to talk about BPD in TV and Movies. Can't wait until then? Sign up for our "BPD Buddies" or "BPD Besties" tiers on Patreon to get early access to an exclusive extended cut of next week's episode NOW! https://www.patreon.com/thebpdbunch

You're not broken; you're a story unfolding. This is just the beginning." Living with Borderline Personality Disorder can feel like your identity is a kaleidoscope—shifting, breaking, and hard to pin down. One day you're strong, the next you're lost. In this session, we dive into Carl Jung's idea of archetypes—universal patterns in our minds—to help make sense of that chaos. We'll explore how these “inner characters” shape who we are and offer a way to steady the storm of BPD identity struggles. Plus, you'll walk away with one simple skill to start reclaiming your sense of self. This ep has raw insight that'll leave you wanting more (hint: ⁠⁠sessions⁠⁠ have it).Share this with someone who knows the chaos too. Recap: Explored the Hero archetype—your inner courage to face BPD's chaos. It's not about perfection but taking small, brave steps toward a steadier identity.Skill: Hero's Quest Journal—write the Dragon (challenge), Hero's Move (action), and Treasure (possible gain) to turn struggles into growth.Connect: Tried the journal or Shadow dialogue? Share your wins with us at rose@thriveonlinecounseling.com!Next Up: We'll tackle another archetype—maybe the Self, to find your center. Stay tuned!Resource: Curious about Jung? Check out Man and His Symbols for a beginner-friendly dive.Book Sessions with Rose Here:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.thriveonlinecounseling.com/product/individual-sessions/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Schedule with Jay Here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.thriveonlinecounseling.com/product/22608/⁠⁠⁠⁠Gift cards now available for purchase here:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.thriveonlinecounseling.com/product/gift-card/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Please remember that this podcast is not a replacement for therapy or clinical services. We are mindset coaches and want to offer this content for the betterment of the BPD community. We offer mindset coaching for individuals nationally and internationally. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Jump start your recovery today!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Want to make a podcast- choose riverside!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠**This episode is colloquial not clinical, using personal anecdotes to support conveying information in an informal, relatable way**

"You don't have to figure out your whole identity today. Jung's archetypes—like the Shadow, Hero, or Self—are like threads in BPD's tangled web. Start with one—maybe that loud Shadow—and give it a moment. You're not broken; you're a story unfolding. This is just the beginning."Living with Borderline Personality Disorder can feel like your identity is a kaleidoscope—shifting, breaking, and hard to pin down. One day you're strong, the next you're lost. In this session, we dive into Carl Jung's idea of archetypes—universal patterns in our minds—to help make sense of that chaos. We'll explore how these “inner characters” shape who we are and offer a way to steady the storm of BPD identity struggles. Plus, you'll walk away with one simple skill to start reclaiming your sense of self. This ep has raw insight that'll leave you wanting more (hint: ⁠sessions⁠ have it).Share this with someone who knows the chaos too. Hit us up with your own fire—how do you keep rising? Let's talk about it. Back next Tuesday with more !Resources:Book: The Archetypes and the Collective Unconscious by Carl JungBook Sessions with Rose Here:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.thriveonlinecounseling.com/product/individual-sessions/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Schedule with Jay Here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.thriveonlinecounseling.com/product/22608/⁠⁠⁠Gift cards now available for purchase here:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.thriveonlinecounseling.com/product/gift-card/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Please remember that this podcast is not a replacement for therapy or clinical services. We are mindset coaches and want to offer this content for the betterment of the BPD community. We offer mindset coaching for individuals nationally and internationally. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Jump start your recovery today!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Want to make a podcast- choose riverside!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠**This episode is colloquial not clinical, using personal anecdotes to support conveying information in an informal, relatable way**

It's time to get out of the dysfunctional dances and be bravely honest about what you may be experiencing behind closed doors. That's what Lysa TerKeurst, counselor Jim Cress and Dr. Joel Muddamalle want to help you work through this season!In Season 8 of Therapy & Theology, you'll hear episodes on:The victim mentality.Love bombing and gaslighting.Anger and blaming.Narcissism and Borderline Personality Disorder.What addiction is and how it impacts us.Pornography.Helpful Links:Download “Trust Is a Track Record: 5 Scriptural Truths To Remember God's Faithfulness" by Lysa TerKeurst here.Purchase "The Trust Journey Bundle" that includes I Want to Trust You but I Don't by Lysa TerKeurst as well as The Trust Journey (a guided journal to use alongside I Want to Trust You, but I Don't) here.We'd like to extend a special thank-you to our sponsor for this season, Compassion International. When you sponsor a child, you'll receive our Proverbs: The Beginning of All Wisdom study guide as a gift to you! Go to compassion.com/proverbs31 to get started!Want More on This Topic? Listen to "Bonus: Am I in Denial That This Relationship Is Unhealthy?"Listen to "S4 E1 | "Here Is Your Permission To Set Boundaries" With Jim Cress."Watch "Difficult vs. Destructive Relationships | Therapy & Theology."

Blaise Aguirre (I Hate Myself: Overcome Self-Loathing and Realize Why You're Wrong About You) is a child and adolescent psychiatrist specializing in dialectical behavior therapy. Blaise joins the Armchair Expert to discuss becoming an expert on Borderline Personality Disorder and DBT, the correlation between BPD and suicidal ideation, and that it's not a choice to live with the disregulation of BPD. Blaise and Dax talk about the analogy of a person with a BPD brain being saddled with a very fast car but not the skill to drive it, the fact that when we are disregulated we can't think properly, and why being too protective of one's feelings can actually rob them of the ability to confront necessary emotions. Blaise explains the glory he has when a patient leaves therapy, the saying in DBT that you have to go where angels fear to tread to truly help patients, and how liberating it is to realize that our common destiny is stardust.Follow Armchair Expert on the Wondery App or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch new content on YouTube or listen to Armchair Expert early and ad-free by joining Wondery+ in the Wondery App, Apple Podcasts, or Spotify. Start your free trial by visiting wondery.com/links/armchair-expert-with-dax-shepard/ now.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.