Embrace Your Weird

Eric Liddick is a major in the US Army's Judge Advocate Generals corps. He is a former member of the 75th Ranger Regiment and 82nd airborne division. His service includes multiple deployments to Afghanistan, and maybe most importantly, he has a super cute dog. Eric was part of a counter-terrorism mission in Afghanistan, which means, essentially, capturing or killing enemies of the United States. But one aspect of his role as a Judge Advocate was this: answering the question of whether or not it was legal - in keeping with the laws of war - to kill a specific individual who was being targeted. So in this episode, we talk about the immense weight of that. We discuss the fact that when we think of the lingering trauma of war, we think about people who were on the ground being shot at. We don't tend to consider those who were maybe more removed from immediate danger, but who still carry guilt, shame, and pain.  We also talk about what it's like to be a highly sensitive and introverted person in the military, the impact of post-traumatic stress and moral injury, and what happens when you feel that you have betrayed yourself and you're no longer the person you thought you were.

The world is opening up again...so why are we still really freaked out? In this episode, I discuss social anxiety, why even extroverts are having issues with being social again, and how you are allowed to change up the rules and get what you need out of your life.

Recently, I’ve been thinking that I was having a some sort of super healthy mid-life crisis. I’ve been changing almost everything in my life: my schedule, my skincare routine, my workouts, my filing system, my journaling system. I’ve been tweaking everything. What I’ve finally realized is that for the past 412 days I have been focused on surviving. But survival has become insufficient. I want to thrive. In this podcast, I talk about the difference between thriving and surviving, how you know which one you need, and what to do if your external circumstances feel like survival, but you want more.

Three years ago, my husband and I adopted a rescue dog. And she was a nightmare. This a story of love and sadness. Of heartbreak and joy. Of learning and of failures. But more than anything, this is a story about how things can change. Things can seem so dark and hopeless - but they actually can get better. This is a story about how everyone is capable of healing. Because I went from thinking this traumatized, fear-aggressive, terrified mutt had ruined my life — to being madly in love with my sweet Olive. And now it’s all love.

Meet Buzzy. He is an Air Force Veteran who flew 212 combat missions in Vietnam as a navigator on B-52 bombers. He is also my yoga student and one of my favorite humans. Buzzy speaks honestly about the Vietnam war, the challenges that Veterans face, and what happens when you decide to do something radical in the face of depression and post-traumatic stress.

30 years ago last week, I broke my back on a film set. I had lingering pain and nerve damage for decades.  This episode is all about questioning why it is so common to hate our bodies, why many of us are constantly living from a place of trying to change and improve them. What happens if we decide to opt-out from that narrative and live from a place of gratitude? Can we shift the energy we spend on the scale and actually do something productive with that, instead?

What happens when you are not an alcoholic, but you decide to stop drinking for one year for the simple fact that alcohol makes your anxiety rage and makes you feel like garbage?  I had lots of questions. What about my birthday? What about when I need to unwind? What about when the world is facing a global pandemic? No drinking even then?  No drinking even then.  I explore what it’s like to be sober during the apocalypse, the social pressures to drink, and the big question - I’ve been sober for a year -  now what?

I am a lifelong troubled sleeper.  When I worked as an actor, I would often have to grab a quick nap to get through long days, comfortably sleeping upright in a folding chair without messing up my hair and makeup.  But in my own bed? At an appropriate sleeping time? That is a recipe for sleepwalking, night terrors, and writing creepy and insistent notes that no one understands.  In this podcast, I share what I’ve learned about how to sleep, what to do - and not do - during the day to get to sleep at night, and also my game-changer of a routine that is simple, and free.  Sleep tight, my fellow weirdos.

I've gotten lots of requests lately to talk about fear. I've not wanted to talk about fear. Fear is scary.  But since it's something so many of us are dealing with right now, I decided we needed to talk about it.  So let's talk fear, and why we should consider doing the exact opposite of what we want to do. 

This is the first time I’ve ever cried during a podcast. I was going to re-record it because of that, but I didn’t. Because I want to be real with you. This episode is about how I’ve not wanted to write lately. For me, that’s like saying I no longer have any use for food. But there is a very real reason why that is, and I talk about it in this episode, and I also share the re-frame that helped me to work through some of the difficult emotions I’ve been feeling. And I share how you can do that, too, if you think it might help you.

Um. Hi.  The world is really hard to handle right now.  In this episode, I come to you from my closet again to talk about some ways we can manage our mental wellness in this time of COVID-19. I'll also talk about my recent decision to stop drinking alcohol, and how that feels since this is a reality in which I REALLY want to numb out and escape. 

I recently did a talk about mental health and mindfulness at a big financial firm. (And I signed an NDA so I can't tell you the name of it.) Corporations are not known for being really safe and open spaces for discussing things like this. But I want to change that.  In this episode, I talk about what happened when I went to a place that's not comfortable with this topic, and I talked about the awkward things. And then I made them meditate. 

If you've made any health-related new year's resolutions - this is the episode for you. Feeling overwhelmed by wanting to change but not knowing where to start? Are your resolutions totally forgotten by mid-January? I talk to holistic wellness coach Cecily Armstrong about intuitive eating, self-compassion, and why sometimes it's totally fine to have a food-product covered in spray cheese. 

Susan McCulley writes, moves, creates, and shines. She is an artist and all-around sparkly person.  In this episode, we discuss the obsession with busyness and how we can find more joy in our lives, even within the chaos of modern life. We talk about how to ditch the endless search for worthiness and external approval. How do we learn to live from our true priorities? Can we free ourselves from the constant striving and to-do list addiction? (Spoiler alert: we can.) Susan's new book Octabusy: Letting Go in a Sea of Doing is available now. Learn more at susanmcculley.com

In this episode, I interview Bre Gregg of the band Red Bird. She is a singer/songwriter, mother, and anxious person.  Bre performs her own music on stage, and I share my life in talks and workshops, yet we both identify as people with anxiety, who get really nervous about being on stage. We talk about why introverts and highly sensitive people put ourselves in this scary public position.  We discuss the connection between being an artist and being a person with BIG feelings. And we share our personal practices for getting through events that make us nervous.  If you've ever been anxious about giving a speech, presentation, or even just speaking up in a meeting - this one is for you.  Hear more from Bre Gregg and Red Bird at RedBirdSoul.com

I work with an organization called Expedition Balance, and we offer retreats for Veterans with post-traumatic stress. I teach a therapeutic writing workshop and therapeutic yoga classes.  In this episode, I interview one of the participants, Aryeh, about his 23 years in the military, why he does yoga, how these retreats help support Vets coming home, what the VA could be doing better, and his relationship with his service dog, Bandit.  He also hypothesizes on why I love old houses, does a terrible Canadian accent, and openly mocks me. There is a ton of adult language in this episode, and discussion of difficult and potentially triggering topics such as military sexual trauma, rape, and suicide.  For more info on Expedition Balance, and to make a donation to keep these retreats going, check out expeditionbalance.org  

I have a special guest! Joining me and my dog in the closet is my husband, Jeremy. He has very little anxiety. I have a lot of anxiety. So we talk about how that works in a relationship. We discuss introversion, the best ways to support an anxious person, and why a fire needs air. The theme song is called “Beautiful” by the band Red Bird. Check them out live in Portland, Oregon, or online at RedBirdBand.com

I spent a long time never talking about my old life as an actor, because it made me feel weird. My life has been pretty different than most other people’s lives and sometimes that feels like of awkward. It can change how people see me, and how people treat me. But since Embrace Your Weird is my thing now, I’m answering all your questions about my old acting life - from how schooling works for kid actors, to my favorite scenes to film to what happened when I ruined one of the funniest moments in Mrs. Doubtfire. Here are some of the other things I talk about in this one: The letter that Robin Williams wrote to my high school Mrs. Doubtfire Independence Day Matinee Beautician and the Beast The theme song is called “Beautiful” from the band Red Bird. Check them out live in Portland, Oregon, or online at RedBirdBand.com  

People tell me all the time that they could never meditate because their brains are too busy. Yeah. Welcome to having a human brain. I really hate to tell you this, but your brain is not special. Let’s dispel some other meditation myths. By the way, we do a guided meditation in this episode from minute 30 to minute 36. So, in case you are in a car or another place where it’s not going to work for you to meditate - just skip ahead and come back to that part. Jon Kabat-Zinn Sharon Salzberg Thich Nhat Hanh Pema Chodron Insight Timer - download this free app and search for my name for guided meditations My book - Not Just Me: Anxiety, depression, and learning to embrace your weird The theme song is called “Beautiful” from the band Red Bird. Check them out live in Portland, Oregon, or online at RedBirdBand.com  

This is the topic that so many people have been asking me for. In this episode, I talk about my experience with anxiety and a panic disorder, and I also cover some of the most helpful tools that I have for managing anxiety and depression.  Here are some of the links: Insight Timer - download this free app and search for my name for guided meditations My workshops on anxiety management Doctor’s letter for starting the conversation about anxiety/depression Sun Salutation A - description of a simple practice you can do anytime. My YouTube yoga class The theme song is called “Beautiful” from the band Red Bird. Check them out live in Portland, Oregon, or online at RedBirdBand.com

Creativity is one of my favorite topics. The Inner Critic can be loud for all of us, regardless of whether or not you consider yourself to be an artist. In this episode, I talk about some of my favorite ways to actually get work done and out into the world. Here are links to a few of the things mentioned in the podcast:  On Writing - Stephen King 11/22/63 - Stephen King The Man in the Arena  Bird By Bird - Anne Lamott Shitty First Draft - from Bird By Bird The Artist’s Way - Julia Cameron Please subscribe to this show and leave a review on iTunes!

A bit about me, my past as a child actor, my decision to leave LA to find my true passion, as well as my current life as a writer - and a podcaster, apparently. I'll also cover why I am talking to you while crammed into a closet with my dog.  Here are links to a few things mentioned in the podcast:  Lulu Miller and Invisibilia Olive my podcasting co-host Mrs. Doubtfire Independence Day Matinee The truly cringe-worthy Lifeline tv movie (Also sometimes called Reckoning, for some reason) has mostly disappeared, but someone actually compiled some clips on Youtube.  The letter that Robin Williams wrote to my high school, requesting that they allow me to come back to school after filming  You Look Like That Girl: a child actor stops pretending and finally grows up Youtube beginner yoga class Please subscribe to this podcast and leave a review on iTunes!