Fight Hard, Love Much

This is the talk I gave at the BYU grief conference a few months ago.   It was a honor to speak to so many who have also lost loved ones.  It is also available on you tube with the power point slides I used.  https://youtu.be/_y2CLe3xp2g

In part 2 with Tiffini, she discusses being there as a mother and wife during mental struggles.   How she takes care of herself while supporting them.   

Tiffini Montague shares the lessons she has learned from the loss of her youngest brother when she was a teenager and losing her only son at birth.     She works at turning her pain into helping many others face their own loss of a child. 

After losing her daughter to suicide in 2019, Emily worked to learn how to help her daughters and herself.   The lessons she has learned have helped her heal and become a better mother.    

What are the little things that you are thankful for?  Pam shares a few that she is thankful for and that bring her happiness.   

Suicide prevention month is not my most favorite thing.   A reminder of all the pain and trauma.   But it is also needed to help shed light on those around us who are suffering.    In this episode I shares a few thoughts about improving our mental health and also how to be there for others.     

Travis joins me to answer questions sent in by our listensers.  Questions 1:  What do you do if you feel like you're stuck in this depressing endless rut or loop of life that you just cannot seem to get out of no matter what you do or try to get out of?Question 2:  I get trapped in thoughts of losing people and things that make me happy that I have a hard time enjoying my time that Ido have with them.  And then I can only focus on losing them that it triggers thoughts because nothing will last.  How can I best overcome that?Question 3:  I would like to ask a question about depressive disorder and what it can lead to (self-harm and suicide risk).   Personally, I suffer of these problems, but despite this, during the day I am able to laugh and joke with my friends,  I am described as a "sunny and always cheerful girl", I excel in study and nothing would suggest my real mental state.  How does this happen?  Why do some patients manage to laugh, seem happy, have good social relationships, but once they get home, they withdraw into themselves, cry and fall into self-harm or bad thoughts?Question 4:  Unfortunately, mental illness is still stigmatized in 2024; it isn't considered as a physical illness.   We are told that it's only in our mind, that it doesn't exist, to fight our problems alone.  I write from Italy, at least in my country, the average conception regarding mental health issues is this.   And that hurts, when you suffer but everyone downplays the problem.   Would there be a way to make people understand the seriousness of a mental illness?   That is, it isn't a joke, or game but a serious concern to be controlled with therapy and medical care, like physical illness.traviswebbtherapy.org

My husband joins to share his experience with losing a son.    He shares lessons he learned, moments he treasures, and how to help others.   Tigger warning:  talk of suicide.

Therapist Travis Webb will join me in a future episode to answer questions sent in by our listeners.    Send in your questions by July 26.   Email them to fighthardlovemuch@gmail.com or send them by message on Instagram @fighthardlovemuch.  

Jeff and Shauna join me on this episode to open up about their trials and struggles.  They share how they had to learn to work together to help each other get better and heal.    This episode has been in the works for over a year.   We first recorded this a year ago, and then did another recording a few months ago.    Sorry the audio is still a little off, but hopefully you will feel their love, pain and goodness.   Here is some of their advice:From Jeff:             1)  Be where you're suppose to be          2) Gather around you an informal council- friends and family          3) Mental illness requires patience, humility, and long-sufferingFrom Shauna:            Ask for your daily manna from heaven.                Elder Todd Christofferson "The Living Bread which came down from Heaven"  October 2017            Remember the Lord will help you, he does not want to keep you in the darkness.  Jeff's song "A Summer by the Sea"  Library tapeshttps://youtu.be/tuNR4qdOJNg?si=Z-sK8UWnjAhfg0fy

In this episode Pam discusses the struggle of the past year and triggers to mental health.    She shares some easy steps we can take to help improve how we feel, starting this summer.   

It's been a while but happy to be back!    In this episode Pam shares what she has learned the past month and how much we need the Savior in our lives.    

My daughter Allison joins me on this episode to share her experience with losing Sam.   The emotions and thoughts that surrounded that day.    She also shares her struggle with anxiety and post-partum depression, and what she does to help her mental health. Trigger warning:  lots of raw emotions concerning suicide.   

Pam is back after taking some time off.    In this episode she shares her recent thoughts on becoming who we want to be.   Do we give up when things go wrong or when we make a mistake?   Just like the caterpillar has to go through a major change to become the beautiful butterfly, our trials and darkness can also help us become something amazing.   

Travis Webb, LCSW is back to answer a few parenting questions.   How to help our children be more motivated and productive?Cell phones and our children .Understanding growth and the Lord's love.Travis uses his years of working with clients and parents to help answer these questions.    He strives for the more long-term results rather than a quick fix answer.   If you have questions, you would like me to ask Travis, please feel free to reach out to me.fighthardlovemuch@gmail.com@fighthardlovemuch on instagram

Dr. John Hatch DC, DACNB, FABBIR, Neuroplastician, husband, father, author, business owner, entrepreneur,  and athlete joins Pam on this episode to discuss the many things he has learned while studying the brain.  His clinic, THE BRAIN REHAB CLINIC in Orem, Utah helps people from around the world find answers to healing their brain pathways.     The Brain Rehab Clinic is a full-service functional neurology center.   He has multiple patents pending and is part owner and creator of Cognuro, a brain functionality assessment equipment.Dr. Hatch has an incredible positive outlook on life and shares how important self-talk is.     He continually looks for ways to improve patient's lives.    He is on Instagram @BRAIN.REHAB.CLINIChttps://youtu.be/x3AJicMajtA 

In this episode Gabrielle joins Pam to share her story of  struggling with depression and anxiety for years.   She had decided to give up on living until a friend committed suicide and she witness the heartache.   At that moment she decided she would fight and never give up.  She also shares her experience with TMS and figuring out what works for her.  

In this episode Pam shares some thoughts about this year's Sam's prom.    She also share some feelings concerning the youth and children and the struggles they face.  

It's been one year of Fight Hard, Love Much podcast episodes.    I'm so thankful for all the support, love and things I have learned.    Thankful for the amazing guest who have joined me and the many things they have taught me.     Excited for this 2nd year!!

After losing her sister to suicide, Lauren finds the tender mercies from God.   She has a new outlook on life and wants to share it with others.    She is an incredible young woman; you won't want to miss the message she shares on this episode.   

Attending church is just hard sometimes!   In this episdoe, Pam shares her feelings about going to church even when it's difficult.    How we all need to try and learn to treat others like Christ and showing all Christlike love.   We all need to feel His comfort and peace.  

Kim Taylor joins Pam this week to share her story with mental illness.     After hiding it and keeping the pain a secret, she finds healing in letting people in.     Now after wanting to end her life, she is able to find the joy in living.    

In this episode, Savanna shares with Pam her struggle growing up with OCD and what she has learned along the way.    She mentions treatment options that have helped and not been so helpful.    

Travis Webb joins me again this week to discuss shame and isolation.    He shares tools for those suffering with feelings of shame.    He also gives parents and others suggestions on how to respond when a loved one shares feelings of shame and discouragement.

Happy New Year!   In this episode Pam laughs at previous years goals and shares a few hopeful goals for 2023.   

In this episode Pam shares a few things she is grateful for that she's been able to learn over the past few years.    Even during difficult times, we can continue to learn and grow from others.   https://www.edmylett.com/podcast/kevinhinesAnatomy of Peace by Arbinger InstituteThe Body Keeps the Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk M.D.

Pam is back after taking a few weeks off.    After a difficult month, she reflects on simple self-care we can all use.     She also talks about changing the stigma of mental health/illness to brain health.   And how changing our focus to things that improve our brain health.   

Pam's oldest son Tim joins her on the podcast this week to discuss how we can be first responders.    He also shares how as we become more competent, we gain confidence, which leads to hope.   Navigating Grief: The Power of Connection | Hope Works - YouTubeMental Health (churchofjesuschrist.org)Increasing Hope, Confidence, and Competence (lovelikesam.blogspot.com)

Alli Heywood joins me to talk about why fun and laughter play such an important role in her life.     During difficult trials, Alli has chosen to find the good and joy of this life.   Why we should all find little moments to laugh and smile.   She shares her love for the youth, family and faith.   

After 14 years of battling depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts, Chris shares the joy he feels now and what he has learned.   Tatiana shares how she fought for him and the struggle it is as the caregiver.   They are excited to share what finally gave them relief and how much they love life and each other.Contact Chris through his Instagram theonlychrisb

After losing her son Jayke to an accidental fentanyl overdose, Kara shares how she looks for the joy even through the grief and sorrow.    She talks of her desire to help educate others through Jayke's story.

John Shirts joins Pam to share his experience dealing with depression and anxiety.    He shares what he did to get out of the darkness and the steps he takes daily to help keep himself emotionally regulated.      He gives some thoughts and advice to parents and spouses who might be loving and helping ones who struggle.   

School can be a wonderful place where kids can learn, have fun, and grow.   It can also be a place where kids struggle to fit in, feel overwhelmed at the work and can't see the end.    In this episode Pam share a few random thoughts she has about school.  

Travis Webb, LCSW joins Pam this week to discuss anxiety.   He shares his knowledge and experience with treating people suffering from anxiety.    He gives some tools for parents and those who struggle and how to help lessen the emotions associate with anxiety.   Resources: DARE by Barry McDonaghThe Body Keeps the Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk MDtraviswebbtherapy.com

Jake and Joe Sharp join their mom to discuss their journey with depression and anxiety.    How Sam's death affected them and what it has taken to start to heal.    They discuss their passion of sharing the knowledge they have learned from taking care of their physical, mental and spiritual needs.

Pam discusses two possible treatment options to help someone struggling.    

Pam reflects on memories of Sam at the beach and not taking full advantage of time with Sam.  

In this episode, Pam reflects over the ongoing experience of processing grief.

The importance of enjoying the moments together with loved ones.

This is the 3rd birthday without Sam here.   Pam spends some time remembering Sam and how he lived life.    Remember to smile and lift others up around you.   

Life is full of unexpected detours.  How do we find the happiness in a change of plans?     In this episode, Pam shares how she is learning to find joy through change, through starting new paths, and helping others along the way.

In this episode Pam discusses the effects of shame and judgements.   How can we be better at loving others after mistakes have been made instead of shaming and judging?

Pam reflects on "Sam's Prom" and the joy of hosting it.    The importance of including others and learning to love those around us.  

Pam talks about the joys and difficulties of motherhood.  

In this episode Pam talks about hope.   How we need to hold onto hope.   Even if it's difficult, long, and feels hopeless, the blue skies will come.https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2013/10/like-a-broken-vessel?lang=eng

In this episode Pam talks about why we do the things we do.   Do we do them for ourselves or for others?  

In this episode Pam discusses the importance of counseling/therapy, and how it can be beneficial in understanding emotions, actions and thoughts.   

In this episode Pam discusses the importance of just sitting and being there and gives examples of how it can be effective in relationships

In this episode Pam tells about her experience in raising her children, Sam's struggles and what happened.    She also discusses the reason for the name Fight Hard, Love Much and why she decided to begin this journey.