Podcasts about Competence

Every generation says the next one is soft. Rob's dad said it. Dustin's dad said it. Now coaches are saying it about the athletes in their gyms right now. But before we accept the premise, it's worth asking a harder question: what if they're not softer at all? What if they're just more aware, more informed, and asking better questions than we're ready to answer?In this episode, Rob and Dustin take on the lazy version of the "today's athletes are soft" conversation and push toward something more useful — what coaches actually need to do differently when the people in front of them have more access, more options, and more questions than any generation before them.TopicsWhy "they're soft" is usually the wrong diagnosis — and what coaches miss when they stop thereThe difference between questions and questioning — and why Rob took it personally for yearsWhat COVID and social media actually broke (hint: it wasn't toughness — it was conflict resolution)How parents haven't really changed, but their access hasWhy coaches need to redefine toughness before they can teach it — Dustin's shift from calling out soft plays to catching tough onesThe Steve Magness two-part definition of team toughness: psychological safety + a real path to getting betterWhy the best marketer wins online, and what that means for how coaches teach their craft nowThe honest follow-up question: how much time are coaches spending on the 1% of 1% who bail?One Line Worth Thinking About"I don't think I've ever been harder on my guys from a practice, from a communication, from an accountability standpoint. And yet I don't think I've ever received more." — Dustin GalyonFor The Coach ListeningThree questions to take into your next staff meeting or solo drive home:When was the last time you trained conflict resolution like you train any other skill?What does tough actually look like in your program — and have you ever told your athletes specifically?Are you catching the tough plays, or only flagging the soft ones?About the Impactful Coaching ProjectThe Impactful Coaching Project develops coaches who coach the whole person. Built on the Three C's — Competence, Care, Constancy — ICP is the thought leader in coaching the 21st century athlete.Substack: impactfulcoachingproject.substack.comPodcast: beyondcoaching.alitu.comBeyond Coaching is produced by ICP with the support of Friends University.

Outline 00:00 - Intro 02:10 - London in the 1960s12:40 - From Oxford to Imperial College: David Mayne and the discrete-time Riccati equation 18:05 - The "global tour": Montenegro roads, hitch-hiking to Istanbul, and the San Francisco waterfront 22:30 - Feedback and causality between stochastic processes 31:15 - The system identification years 40:50 - Model complexity, the bias–variance trade-off, and concentration inequalities 52:05 - Adaptive control: living through a golden era 1:00:30 - McGill, George Zames, and CIFAR's "institute without walls," and COCOLOG 1:09:45 - Mean field games: the China connection, the cell-phone problem, and Nash Certainty Equivalence 1:20:15 - The Lasry–Lions simultaneous discovery 1:24:40 - From graphons to graphexons: sparse networks, Laplexions, and geometry 1:31:00 - Linear Stochastic Systems, Popper, and falsifiability 1:35:20 - Advice to young researchers 1:38:00 - OutroLinks Peter Caines' website: https://www.mcgill.ca/cim/caines Linear Stochastic Systems: https://epubs.siam.org/doi/book/10.1137/1.9781611974713  On the discrete-time matrix Riccati equation of optimal control: https://doi.org/10.1080/00207177008931892 Feedback between stationary stochastic processes: https://doi.org/10.1109/TAC.1975.1101008 Prediction-error identification methods for stationary stochastic processes: https://doi.org/10.1109/TAC.1976.1101304 Asymptotic normality of prediction-error estimators for approximate system models: https://doi.org/10.1109/CDC.1978.268066 Discrete-time multivariable adaptive control (Axelby Award): https://doi.org/10.1109/TAC.1980.1102363 Discrete-time stochastic adaptive control: https://doi.org/10.1137/0319052 25 seminal control papers of the 20th century: https://books.google.ca/books/about/Control_Theory.html?id=eVhGAAAAYAAJ COCOLOG: A conditional observer and controller logic for finite machines: https://epubs.siam.org/doi/10.1137/S0363012992226636 Hierarchical hybrid control systems: https://doi.org/10.1109/9.664153 On the hybrid optimal control problem: https://ieeexplore.ieee.org/document/4303244Bode Lecture: https://ieeecss.org/presentation/bode-lecture/mean-field-stochastic-control The cell-phone problem - Large population stochastic wireless power control: https://doi.org/10.1109/CDC.2003.1272542 Large-population stochastic dynamic games - McKean-Vlasov and the Nash Certainty Equivalence principle: https://projecteuclid.org/journals/communications-in-information-and-systems/volume-6/issue-3/Large-population-stochastic-dynamic-games--closed-loop-McKean-Vlasov/cis/1183728987.full Large-population cost-coupled LQG with nonuniform agents and decentralized ε-Nash equilibria: https://doi.org/10.1109/TAC.2007.904450 Social optima in mean field LQG control: https://doi.org/10.1109/TAC.2012.2183439 ε-Nash mean field games with major and minor agents: https://arxiv.org/abs/1209.5684 Graphon mean field games and their equations: https://doi.org/10.1137/20M136373X Mean field games on large sparse network limits - Laplexion dynamics on graphexons: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S240589632500388X Murray Wonham oral history: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8IBZyRo0vDkSupport the showPodcast infoPodcast website: https://www.incontrolpodcast.com/Apple Podcasts: https://tinyurl.com/5n84j85jSpotify: https://tinyurl.com/4rwztj3cRSS: https://tinyurl.com/yc2fcv4yYoutube: https://tinyurl.com/bdbvhsj6Facebook: https://tinyurl.com/3z24yr43Twitter: https://twitter.com/IncontrolPInstagram: https://tinyurl.com/35cu4kr4Acknowledgments and sponsorsThis episode was supported by the National Centre of Competence in Research on «Dependable, ubiquitous automation» and the IFAC Activity fund. The podcast benefits from the help of an incredibly talented and passionate team. Special thanks to L. Seward, E. Cahard, F. Banis, F. Dörfler, J. Lygeros, ETH studio and mirrorlake . Music was composed by A New Element.

  We all talk about how engineers deal with imposter syndrome--but we don't often talk about the experience of making things work "in the background." What is competence, and what do we do when competence isn't recognized? Justin Wilson (j2sw) joins Russ and Tom to discuss.   https://media.blubrry.com/hedge/media.blubrry.com/hedge/content.blubrry.com/hedge/hedge-308.mp3   download

说英语不自信，这段讲话让你彻底让找回自己很多小伙伴经常和我说，自己说英语的时候不太自信。想问我该怎么解决这个问题。今天分享一段非常棒的讲话，可以帮助你系统找到自信说英语的方法，快点学起来吧！New Words:mpetence /ˈkɒmpɪtəns/：n. 能力；胜任；专长confidence /ˈkɒnfɪdəns/：n. 自信；信心；信赖praise /preɪz/：n.&v. 表扬；夸赞；赞扬amazing /əˈmeɪzɪŋ/：adj. 了不起的；惊艳的；极好的develop /dɪˈveləp/：v. 培养；发展；提升skill /skɪl/：n. 技能；技艺；本事violinist /ˌvaɪəˈlɪnɪst/：n. 小提琴演奏者；小提琴家tennis /ˈtenɪs/：n. 网球；网球运动cook /kʊk/：v. 烹饪；做饭 n. 厨师dish /dɪʃ/：n. 盘子；菜肴function /ˈfʌŋkʃn/：v. 正常行事；运转 n. 功能individual /ˌɪndɪˈvɪdʒuəl/：n. 个人；个体 adj. 单独的Competence builds confidence, not praise.实力造就自信，而非夸奖。Like telling your kids they're amazing is not going to make them feel like they're amazing.一味夸赞孩子们有多优秀，并不能让他们真正觉得自己出色。It's the competence like helping them develop the skills.真正有用的是培养能力，帮他们习得各项本事。And those skills don't have to be that you're like a star violinist or tennis player.这些技能不必是成为明星小提琴手或者网球运动员那样的高超才艺。It can be that you know how to cook or put the dishes away.会做饭、收拾餐盘这类小事也完全可以。You know just just a functioning individual.说白了，只是做一个能独立打理生活、正常自立的普通人。更多卡卡老师分享公众号：卡卡课堂 卡卡老师微信：kakayingyu002送你一份卡卡老师学习大礼包，帮助你在英文学习路上少走弯路

Of all the world's religious leaders, I most admire His Holiness the Dalai Lama. Not because I consider Buddhism to be true, rather because the Dalai Lama has a propensity to not harass people to convert to Buddhism in any of its forms. In fact, he discourages conversion from other religions, arguing it is safer and better to stick with ancestral or cultural faiths because switching risks superficial adoption without true commitment. In his humble integrity, he opposes proselytizing because it exploits vulnerability, the very quality the Abrahamists manipulate to grow their flocks. The Dalai Lama's approach assumes...

Bill Kanasky, Jr., Ph.D. defines the competence trap with witnesses. Bill shares why there is often a perception that witnesses who are highly competent in their jobs will perform really well as witnesses during testimony and why this often isn't true. He describes several reasons why some witnesses who are highly skilled in their professional positions may not make good witnesses. Bill talks about having to break down and rebuild highly accomplished witnesses in order to get them ready for success at deposition.

Cindy Esliger addresses the uncomfortable truth that technical competence is really only the price of admission in today's workplace, not advancement, especially for women navigating male-dominated industries. We tend to believe that keeping our heads down and producing excellent work will naturally lead to advancement, but Cindy explains why career growth depends just as much on communication, relationship building, emotional intelligence, and political savvy. She discusses the double bind women face when developing these skills and why waiting for technical excellence alone to be recognized can quietly stall a career. As organizations evolve faster than ever, technical expertise without strong people skills can leave us stuck in individual contributor roles while others move into leadership. Cindy breaks down four common problems women often face in this environment: 1. The invisibility trap, 2. The likability penalty, 3. The catch-up cycle, and 4. The promotion pitfall. She also highlights six warning signs that career growth may be blocked, including avoiding office politics, staying too long in the same role, and struggling to communicate accomplishments in business terms instead of technical details. Cindy shares six practical strategies that focus on what we can control: 1. Start future-proofing your career now, 2. Be intentional about projecting both confidence and competence, 3. Develop soft skills with the same rigor as technical skills, 4. Think globally and stay ahead of change, 5. Prepare for transition before a promotion happens, and 6. Take inventory regularly and stay proactive about development. The workplace increasingly rewards people who can combine technical expertise with interpersonal skills. Cindy reminds us that these skills can be learned and that developing them creates more options and long-term career resilience.  Resources discussed in this episode: Guide to Future-Proofing Your Career Astronomic Audio Confidence Collective — Contact Cindy Esliger  Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Leisure · Chronically Low Competence

Welcome to the Back to Business Podcast, where we spotlight Calgary's industry leaders and delve into the heart of entrepreneurialism in our vibrant city!Mike Cameron is a 3x TEDx speaker and 16-year CEO who burned out chasing success while disconnected from everything else. That experience—combined with losing someone he loved to violence and running 200 miles through the mountains—taught him one thing: connection is the variable that changes everything. He's the founder of Connect'd Men and speaks at the intersection of leadership, emotional competence, and human connection. Mike helps leaders and organizations move from functional to transactional relationships to genuine emotional connection—where trust, loyalty, and sustainable performance actually live.Get Connected With Mike:https://mikecameron.ca/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/mikecameron-ca/Visit www.calpeteclub.com for information on our next networking and membership opportunities.https://calpeteclub.com/https://twitter.com/calpeteclubhttps://www.linkedin.com/in/calgary-petroleum-club-3a5868117/https://www.facebook.com/calpeteclubhttps://www.youtube.com/user/calpeteclub

The SRA has launched a consultation on changes to its continuing competence regime, driven by the Legal Services Board's push for a stronger culture of professional ethics across the profession. In this recording, Partners Nick and Andrew discuss what the proposals could mean in practice. In particular, they discuss: • A proposed requirement for solicitors to record and retain evidence of their learning and development for at least three years, moving away from self-certification • The proposed introduction of a minimum of three hours of professional ethics training, focused on interactive, scenario-based discussion rather than passive learning • Practical challenges for firms arising from the proposals, including how larger firms could deal with the requirement to deliver training in small groups and tailoring content to real-world ethical dilemmas • The proposed new powers for the SRA to mandate targeted training in particular sectors or risk areas, with potential enforcement action taken against those who fail to do it • The wider direction of travel - a shift towards embedding ethical decision-making and evidencing competence in practice, not just technical knowledge The consultation is open until 15 July 2026. If you have any questions or would like to discuss the consultation further, please contact our regulatory specialists Nick Leale or Andrew Pavlovic. Nick and Andrew also provide training on SRA regulatory matters, often in conjunction with our employment partners Beth Hale, Sarah Chilton or Emma Bartlett.

What if the problem isn't your discipline… but your stage of learning? After years of telling yourself “tomorrow will be different,” it can feel defeating when you keep ending up in the same patterns—behind on charts, emotionally exhausted, or struggling to show up the way you want to at home. In this episode, we unpack the Conscious Competence Learning Model and why sustainable change doesn't happen through shame, hustle, or trying harder. Whether you're learning emotional regulation, boundary-setting, time management, or simply how to stop numbing out after difficult shifts, this conversation will help you understand why growth feels so hard before it feels natural. We explore the 4 stages of learning: ✨ Unconscious Incompetence — you don't know what you don't know ✨ Conscious Incompetence — you finally see the problem, but don't know how to fix it yet ✨ Conscious Competence — you're doing the work, but it still takes effort ✨ Unconscious Competence — the habit becomes part of your identity Through relatable physician examples, emotional health insights, and practical mindset shifts, we discuss: Why awareness itself is progress How frustration can sabotage growth The hidden emotional toll of perfectionism Why habits feel “unnatural” before they become automatic The role of grace, repetition, and identity in lasting change How to stop expecting yourself to jump from beginner to expert overnight Because sustainable growth isn't about becoming perfect overnight—it's about learning how to build a life that actually works for you.

Confidence matters more in leadership than most people realize. In this episode of Remarkable TV, I'm sharing practical ways you can build confidence as a leader — not through ego or pretending, but through growth, progress, and intentional action. I'll walk you through: The confidence-competence loop Why confidence and skill reinforce each other How positive self-talk impacts leadership Why starting small matters How reflecting on progress builds momentum What organizations often miss when developing leaders One of the biggest lessons I've learned is this: confidence and competence build each other. The more progress we make, the more confidence we gain — and the more confidence we gain, the more willing we are to keep growing. A more confident leader is a more effective leader. If this episode is helpful, subscribe for more practical leadership ideas and conversations designed to help you become a more remarkable leader. My name is Kevin Eikenberry and I'm here to help you reach your goal as a leader and a human being with Remarkable TV and the Remarkable Leadership Podcast. I am also the Chief Potential Officer of The Kevin Eikenberry Group. We provide speaking, training, consulting, and coaching services to organizations who believe in investing in their most valuable assets – their people. Whether we are leading a training workshop, speaking to a group, facilitating a planning meeting, consulting with a leadership team, helping with team building, writing or developing products, our vision will be clear in everything we do – We want to be Your Leadership Help Button. Learn more about our offerings: ➡️ FREE NEWSLETTERs: Sign up for any of our newsletters: https://kevineikenberry.com/newsletters ➡️ LEADERSHIP WORKSHOPS: Sign up for any of our online workshops to help you become a better leader: https://kevineikenberry.com/store/?product_type=Workshops ➡️ SPEAKING: Learn more about our Speaking opportunities for your next event: https://kevineikenberry.com/how-we-can-help-speaking/  Connect with Kevin Eikenberry on Social Media:  https://kevineikenberry.com https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevineikenberry https://instagram.com/kevineikenberry https://www.facebook.com/KevinEikenberryFanPage/ About Kevin Eikenberry: Kevin Eikenberry is the Chief Potential Officer of the Kevin Eikenberry Group, a world expert on leadership development, best-selling author, sought-after speaker, popular blogger, husband and dad, a fan of Purdue athletics and antique tractors (especially John Deere's). About The Remarkable Leadership Podcast: The Remarkable Leadership Podcast with Kevin Eikenberry is dedicated to all things leadership. Twice a week Kevin shares his thoughts about leadership development and ideas to help you lead more confidently and make a bigger difference for those you lead. He also has weekly conversations with leadership experts discussing a wide range of topics including teamwork, organizational culture, facilitating change, personal and organizational development, human potential and more.  

What does it take to bring the gospel where Christ is not yet known—and remain faithful for the long haul? Summary In this episode of the Lausanne Movement Podcast, Jason Watson speaks with Janelle Stoops about calling, cost, perseverance, and leadership formation in frontier mission. Drawing from her years in Central Asia and her current leadership with A3, Janelle shares what she has learned about reaching unreached and unengaged people groups, preparing leaders for mission, and cultivating rhythms that sustain faithful service over time. Main Points Calling begins with surrendered obedience. Janelle shares how a sense of calling at age 16 eventually led her to Central Asia as a young missionary. Frontier mission is costly and often slow. Life among unreached people requires perseverance, cultural humility, language learning, and faithful obedience when visible fruit takes time. God is already at work among the unreached. Stories of dreams, visions, digital outreach, and spiritual hunger remind us that mission begins with joining what God is already doing. Prayer must come before strategy. Janelle emphasizes extraordinary prayer as foundational for ministry among unreached and unengaged peoples. Disciple-making should be relational and reproducible. The gospel spreads naturally through families, friendships, local believers, and simple practices that new disciples can carry forward. Leadership must be formed for the long haul. Competence and charisma should never outpace character; healthy leaders need spiritual formation, rhythms of silence and solitude, and wisdom for each season of life.   Call to Action If this episode encouraged you, subscribe to the Lausanne Movement Podcast and share it with a leader, missionary, or young person discerning a call to mission. We'd also love for you to join the conversation in the Lausanne Movement Podcast space on the Lausanne Action Hub, where you can share your thoughts and engage with our podcast community—and if this episode encouraged you, please consider leaving a rating or review so others can discover it too. Guest Bio Janelle Stoops serves as U.S. President of A3, bringing experience in global missions leadership, organizational strategy, and cross-cultural engagement. She previously served with her family as a church planter in Central Asia, later worked with Frontiers in strategic leadership roles, and now helps strengthen A3's work of developing Christlike leaders for mission and multiplication. A3's announcement of her appointment describes her as uniquely qualified to lead its U.S. ministry into its next chapter of growth and impact. Lausanne Movement Podcast Archive The Making of a Leader: How God Forms Character, Calling, and Influence Over a Lifetime with Richard Clinton The Art of Whole Life Mentorship: An Interview with Ole-Magnus Olasfrud Training Christlike Leaders for the Harvest: Preparing Leaders in Every Nation and Every Sector of Society   Links & Resources A3 — Learn more about A3's work developing Christlike leaders who multiply churches and transform communities. A3 Leaders — Explore stories, updates, and resources from A3's global leadership community. Mission Frontiers Article by Janelle Stoops — Janelle's article on using AI tools with wisdom in nonprofit and mission contexts.

You can listen wherever you get your podcasts or check out the fully edited transcript of our interview at the bottom of this post.In this episode of The Peaceful Parenting Podcast, my guest is Dr. Justin Coulson, an Australian parenting expert and father of 6 who has his PhD in psychology and is the author of 10 books on parenting and the co-host of the Happy Families podcast with his wife, Kylie. We discuss the psychology behind peaceful parenting, including how self-determination theory explains kids' challenging behavior. Dr. Justin also shared his three E's of discipline.Know someone who might appreciate this episode? Share it with them!And if you love the podcast, FREE ways to help us out:1- Rate and review the podcast in your podcast player app2- “Like” this post by tapping the heart icon ♥️3- Share this with a friend. THANK YOU!We talk about:* 1:45 – Introduction to Dr. Justin Coulson and his personal parenting turning pointHow struggles with anger and discipline led him to rethink everything and study psychology.* 08:20 – Learning to regulate ourselves, practicing repair, and growing over time.* 15:50 – Why peaceful parenting starts with the parent's self-awareness and regulation.* 19:50 – Understanding behavior through compassion and curiosity.* 20:50 – The HALTS frameworkHow hunger, anger, loneliness, tiredness, and stress impact children's behavior.* 23:00 – Self-determination theory and parenting* 33:00 – The 3 E's of Effective Discipline* 41:50 – How to use the 3 E's in everyday parenting moments.Real-life examples: screens, sibling conflict & collaboration* 49:00 – Building trust and the “goodwill bank” with kidsWhy collaborative parenting pays off when tough limits are needed.* 53:30 – Advice to his younger parenting self: “soft eyes”A powerful reflection on kindness, connection, and showing up with compassion.* 56:30 – Where to find Dr. Justin CoulsonHis podcast, books, and upcoming work on boys and healthy masculinity.Resources mentioned in this episode:* Dr. Justin's website and podcast* Yoto Screen Free Audio Book Player* The Peaceful Parenting Membership* Evelyn & Bobbie brasConnect with Sarah Rosensweet:* Instagram* Facebook Group* YouTube* Website* Join us on Substack* Newsletter* Book a short consult or coaching session callxx Sarah and CoreyYour peaceful parenting team- click here for a free short consult or a coaching sessionVisit our website for free resources, podcast, coaching, membership and more!>> Please support us!!! Please consider becoming a supporter to help support our free content, including The Peaceful Parenting Podcast, our free parenting support Facebook group, and our weekly parenting emails, “Weekend Reflections” and “Weekend Support” - plus our Flourish With Your Complex Child Summit (coming back in the summer for the 3rd year!) All of this free support for you takes a lot of time and energy from me and my team. If it has been helpful or meaningful for you, your support would help us to continue to provide support for free, for you and for others.In addition to knowing you are supporting our mission to support parents and children, you get the podcast ad free and access to a monthly ‘ask me anything' session.Our sponsors:YOTO: YOTO is a screen free audio book player that lets your kids listen to audiobooks, music, podcasts and more without screens, and without being connected to the internet. No one listening or watching and they can't go where you don't want them to go and they aren't watching screens. BUT they are being entertained or kept company with audio that you can buy from YOTO or create yourself on one of their blank cards. Check them out HEREEvelyn & Bobbie bras: If underwires make you want to rip your bra off by noon, Evelyn & Bobbie is for you. These bras are wire-free, ultra-soft, and seriously supportive—designed to hold you comfortably all day without pinching, poking, or constant adjusting. Check them out HERESarah: Hey, everyone. Welcome back to another episode of the Peaceful Parenting Podcast. Today's guest is Dr. Justin Coulson. He's an Australian parenting expert with a PhD in psychology, the author of 10 books on parenting, the co-host of the Happy Families podcast with his wife, Kylie, the father of six children, and, last but not least, grandfather of one.We discuss the psychology behind peaceful parenting, including how self-determination theory explains kids' challenging behavior. Dr. Justin also shared his three E's of discipline, which I just loved.If you like this episode, please share it with a friend so more parents can learn about peaceful parenting. If you're a fan of the podcast, you can help us out not only by sharing it, but by leaving a review and a five-star rating in your podcast player app. While you're there, don't forget to follow the show so you don't miss an episode.If you'd like to support us even more, you can become a supporter on Substack to help us offset the cost of making the show. We'll put a link in the show notes.Let's meet Dr. Justin. I hope you enjoy this conversation and get as much out of his insights as I did.Sarah: Hello, Dr. Justin, and welcome to the podcast.Dr. Justin: Sarah, I'm so glad to be with you. Thanks for having me on.Sarah: Yeah, and it's morning for you, evening for me—nice—and I'm just glad that we could make this time to talk to each other. I really appreciate it. Thank you. So, could you just tell us a little bit about who you are and what you do?Dr. Justin: Sure. I grew up on the east coast of Australia, about an hour north of Sydney. Geographically, that kind of locates where I was. I was the teenage boy that every parent hopes they will not have. I don't think I was a particularly bad kid, but I certainly wasn't a good kid.My parents were spending a small fortune—I'm a 1975 baby, I turned 50 last year—but this was in the late '80s and early '90s. My parents were spending so much money to send me to a private school. Because we were on the coast—a very quintessentially Australian thing—I was wagging school.Do you say “wagging school” in Canada? Is that a term Canadians use?Sarah: No, but I think we get the context. I think it means not going to school.Dr. Justin: Yeah, I was truant. They thought I was there, but I wasn't.Sarah: We say skipping.Dr. Justin: I was skipping school. Okay, yeah. We call it a school wag.So I would go to school in the morning and get my name marked off in roll call. Then I would sneak out of the school. Across the road from the school, there were bushes—kind of a forest, or whatever you might call it in Canada and America. I would get changed out of my tie, long pants, and black school shoes, throw on some board shorts and a T-shirt.My surfboard was stashed in the bush, and I'd grab it from the hiding place. Then I'd jump on a bus, go to the beach, and surf all day. Afterward, I'd get a bus back to school in the afternoon, change back into my uniform, and race into the school just in time to get my name marked off, looking like I'd been at school all day.This was in the days before schools communicated with parents via email and text, because none of that existed. I was able to get away with it.So I finished high school. I scored in the bottom 15%—Sarah: Goodness.Dr. Justin: Not just my class, but of the entire state of New South Wales. My parents were devastated.I didn't care. I wanted to have a media career. I wanted to be a radio announcer. So I got into radio. If you've ever listened to the radio—and no offense to radio people—you know you don't have to do well at school to be good at radio. You just have to be able to sit on the microphone and say things that make sense.I knew I could do that, so school didn't matter to me. I didn't care about it. That's what I did.But this is where it intersects with parenting.About 10 years into my radio career, my wife and I were having some challenges, particularly around my parenting. We had a threenager and a newborn baby.That three-year-old—I had always held the opinion that my children would do as they were told, and if they didn't, I would make sure they understood that I was the father and that their job was to do as I said.So I was very punitive. I basically made all of the parenting mistakes you can imagine when I would get angry, frustrated, and ill-tempered. It's not that I was a bad father—I spent a lot of high-quality time loving my kids—but I was also really short-fused and highly aggressive.Frankly, I went from threatening to hitting really fast. You call it spanking; we would call it smacking. I was very, very quick to smack or spank my three-year-old, and it wasn't working.After one particularly bad incident where things escalated, I really did lose control. I didn't just spank her once. There were multiple spankings. This was like a 10-minute escalation session where it just got worse and worse and worse.My wife was out at the time. When she came home, I said to Kylie, “I'm a bad father. I'm not doing this well. I'm making a lot of mistakes, and here's what happened while you were out.”Full confession: Kylie has always been this wonderfully supportive wife—very kind, gentle, compassionate, soft-spoken, thoughtful, considerate, empathic—all of those beautiful attributes that I prize and treasure in my good wife.She was none of those things that day.She had fire in her eyes and said, “You are not living up to the father that I hoped you would be, and you're also not living up to the husband I need you to be.”And it took me back, because I was already feeling downcast. I felt like I was failing anyway, and she just—it was like she picked up a great big lump of wood and whacked me over the head with it and said, “No.”Of course, she didn't actually do that, but that's how it felt. It felt physical. Visceral. Like, Ow. This is serious.I left my radio career shortly thereafter.I was working at one of the biggest radio stations in Australia at the time, and I gave up all the backstage passes with global superstars and hanging out with record company executives at the best restaurants, eating their food so they could bribe me to play their music on the radio station. I went back to school.I became a full-time student. I worked part-time at three different jobs while studying full-time. I'd sleep under the desk at university so I could do the study and the work—Sarah: No surfing this time?Dr. Justin: No surfing this time, no. I was just so committed to it.After eight and a half years of full-time study, I graduated with a doctorate. I had to do a couple of other qualifications first, including a psychological science degree. I graduated with a doctorate in psychology and became a university lecturer.Along the way, Sarah, we went from having our two kids at that point to having our third child in my first year of study, our fourth child in my fifth year of study, and our fifth child while I was doing my doctorate. Shortly after I left the university setting, stopped lecturing, and started writing books and giving talks, we had our sixth child.So we're the parents—Sarah: Amazing.Dr. Justin: —of six daughters. Today, they range in age from 12—the youngest—to the oldest, who is in her mid-to-late 20s. She and her husband have a baby now. They've been married for a few years.Sarah: Wow. You're a grandpa.Dr. Justin: A grand—I'm a grandpa. We have a two-and-a-half-year-old grandbaby, four adult children, one in her teens, and a 12-year-old.So that's kind of my very short version of the journey.Along the way, I've written a bunch of books. We've got a TV show in Australia called Parental Guidance. We've had three seasons of that show on primetime TV. I've got a website and all the things that you'd expect—a podcast and so on.Sarah: What did you do when you had that aha moment—that realization that you weren't being the kind of dad you wanted to be, and your wife also agreed that you weren't being the kind of dad she wanted you to be? What did you change?Because you just mentioned that you spent eight and a half years going back to school. I imagine that you made some changes before you had six kids. So what did you do right away, maybe for anyone listening who can relate to those feelings of rage and feeling triggered by your child?Dr. Justin: Sarah, the first thing I'd say is that there was no linear change, and there were no immediate changes, because I didn't know what to do.I was unskilled. I was uneducated. I didn't know anything about psychology, and I clearly didn't know anything about parenting.But I found a mentor. I have a faith background, and there was a writer who wrote eloquently and compassionately. I just felt like he understood me, and he became a mentor to me.I also discovered a guy called Alfie Kohn. You might be familiar with Alfie Kohn.Sarah: Oh, Alfie Kohn was the first thing I ever read about parenting—Dr. Justin: Oh, great.Sarah: —before I even had kids. And he was on the podcast last year, which felt like a full-circle moment between how influential—I told him on the podcast, “You have probably had the biggest influence on me—not only in my parenting, but in my life's direction—of any single person out there.”So, sorry, fan-girl moment. I'm right there with you with Alfie Kohn.Dr. Justin: Yeah. I've gotten to know Alfie over the years as my academic career advanced and I began to understand where he took his research from.I read his book Punished by Rewards—I think it was a 1993—Sarah: That was my first one too.Dr. Justin: Yeah, it's a 1993 publication or something.Sarah, it was just so influential.What happened was, I was doing my university degree and learning things, and honestly, I'd be sitting there thinking, Hang on, the things they're teaching me in these university courses seem to clash with what Alfie Kohn taught me in Punished by Rewards.So I spent a lot of time in the notes section at the back—you know, all the references nobody ever reads?Sarah: Mm-hmm.Dr. Justin: As I went through them, I discovered researchers named Edward Deci and Richard Ryan from the University of Rochester in upstate New York.They had developed a theory known as self-determination theory.A large portion of Alfie Kohn's work is based on self-determination theory.So I really dug deep into that. I still love Alfie, but I moved very much into the academic side because I became a university lecturer and really got into the nitty-gritty of understanding the deepest depths of what self-determination theory is all about. That has become the foundation of the work that I do.And to your question: nothing is linear when you are trying to make improvements.Whether you're trying to change your diet, exercise, get your finances in order, or improve your relationships, you have insights. You have moments where you think, Oh my goodness, this is what I need to do. I need to show up with warmth on my face and soft eyes.And then three hours later, one of your children does something, and you forget what soft eyes look and feel like. You look at them with hard eyes, frustration in your voice, and short, clipped sentences.Then half an hour later, you think, Oh, self-awareness. I missed that.So it's this gradual process: two steps forward, one step back. Three steps forward, one step back. Four steps forward, three steps back. Eight steps forward, no steps back.Over the years, I had this beautiful experience—and maybe you've had a similar experience in your family as you've raised your kids.We were maybe in my third or fourth year of study. My wife has an early childhood background. She knows child development. She knows what kids need.She was a little skeptical about a lot of the things I was starting to talk about and discover as I went through university and got into the depths of what the research meant—comparing and contrasting it with what was mainstream, but actually not always quite right.We had some tension around how we should respond to the children. I was moving away from that authoritarian bent and developing ideas around exploring their world more.One night, I came home from university a little late. It was probably around 9:00 p.m. Our three children were still awake.As I drove into the driveway, all the lights in the house were on. The windows were open. Looking through the living room window, I could tell the house was—to put it politely—a mess.And as I stepped into the house, the kids—it was just awful.I walked over to Kylie and said, “Honey, it looks like it's been a pretty tough day.”I was trying to be compassionate and empathic. I was really trying to do what psychology says is the right thing to do.Kylie looked at me without hesitation and said, “Don't give me any of that psychology crap. I've had the worst day in the world.”Then she stormed out and said, “You fix it,” and walked into the bedroom and closed the door.Again, this is not how my wife usually is, but it had been a really rough day. The kids were feral. The house was a mess.I looked at my priorities. I sat down with the child who was struggling the most and worked with her for two or three minutes. She calmed down, I gave her a little food, and put her to bed.Within about 20 minutes, I had all three kids in bed, and I was so proud of myself.I stepped into the kitchen and started tidying up. I thought, I'll just give Kylie some space.After another 30 or 40 minutes of tidying, I stepped into the living room and said, “Honey, I know you're really upset. It's been a pretty tough day. I wasn't trying to be judgy or anything.”And she said, “It's fine for you. You're not dealing with it all day. You walk in and think you can just snap your fingers and everything's fine.”Then she looked at me and said, “But tonight, you walked in and it feels like you snapped your fingers and everything's fine.”And we had this beautiful conversation where she said, “I've been resenting the things you've been trying to tell me because it felt like you were telling me I was wrong.“But I've been watching, and I'm actually seeing that the things you're doing are working, and our family is feeling better.”It took four or five years to get there, Sarah.It's not like I had this epiphany—I'm a bad father, I need to change—and suddenly I was a good dad.There were many embarrassing, shameful moments after that epiphany where I still made terrible decisions and treated the children badly.Even today, I still lose my temper, say things I shouldn't, and get frustrated, because kids are kids and we're fallible humans.But we call parenting parenting because it's about us. If it were about children, we'd call it childrening.Which sounds silly, right?Dr. Justin: But what I've really discovered is that if I can learn how to regulate myself—high emotions equal low intelligence—then I can regulate my emotions, turn them up or down appropriately for the context, and keep them in harmony with my long-term goals, which are to have loving, kind relationships with my children.If I can do that, I'm going to approach them with a tremendously different focus than I will if I'm looking for a short-term fix.And that is something—Anger is a habit. Yelling is a habit. Time-out is a habit. Reward charts are a habit.We can create other habits. We just have to understand the processes and principles behind those habits and then practice them, like we practice a song on the piano, until we finally get it right.Sarah: I love that.So you and Kylie really had a journey—a back-and-forth dance of your own processes and your own development.I do love how you say it's really about us. Whenever I'm working with clients, after a couple of sessions they'll say, “You know what? This isn't even about my kid. This is just about me.”Dr. Justin: Yes. Yes.Sarah: Nobody wants to believe that at first, because it's so much easier to think, I've just got to change them and what they're doing.But it's really all about what we're bringing to the moment and what we're bringing to the relationship.Dr. Justin: I get in trouble sometimes for being overly provocative and saying things that are insensitive, so a quick warning:I want to say what I'm about to say with all the compassion in the world and all the tenderness and care in the world, because I work with people every single day who are dealing with exactly the struggles you're talking about.I want to step into the world of neurodiversity—ADHD, autism, trauma—those kinds of areas.What we're talking about applies there as well. It's just harder.Sarah: Mm-hmm.Dr. Justin: But ultimately, if I'm raising an ADHD child or a child who's been through a traumatic experience, once again, parenting is not about them. It's about how I show up for them.So I can say, “Well, my child's like that,” or, “I'm like this because of the diagnosis,” or because of the label, or because of the trauma, or because of the neural networks doing what they're doing.I can say all of those things, and many people do. It's understandable, and I have all the compassion in the world for them when they do.But the key thing I want to highlight is that in spite of all of those challenges your child might be facing—or even that you might be facing—today begins now.It begins with what you put on your face and what you think in your mind.If we can soften our features and go to our children with kindness and compassion while still holding appropriate limits—or working with them to develop appropriate limits—then what we can say is:“Yes, that bad thing happened,” or, “Yes, we are dealing with this difficulty, so what are we going to do about it?”We can fall into the I can't do anything way of thinking, which is really ineffective and doesn't help at all.Or we can step into I have this incredible thing psychologists call agency, or self-efficacy, where I can make a decision now, and if we work on it, we can actually improve things.It might be a longer, harder road. There may be more obstacles to climb over than a typical family without those challenging circumstances.It may be harder.But we can always improve.I never want to be the person who puts limits on what kids can do or what parents can do.If we change our language, change our focus, and recognize that this is a long game—Sarah: Mm-hmm.Dr. Justin: —which requires sustained effort every single day, it's extraordinary the progress we can make and the changes we can create in our home and our family.Sarah: For sure. Yeah.And unfortunately, it's a long game, right? Because I think today we always want quick answers and solutions.Really, it's just showing up every day as best you can and repairing when you don't show up the way you wish you had.And I think another really important part of it—which you were talking around a little bit—is trying to understand our child's experience and see things from their perspective.I was just talking to a client about that today:What's the most emotionally generous explanation you can come up with for their behavior?Because we don't actually know why anyone does anything, since we're not in their brain.But we often jump to, They're being rude on purpose, or They're trying to annoy me.Really, if we can think, Well, I don't know why they're doing this, but there's probably a reason, because kids want to be good. They want to be connected with us.And just reminding ourselves that they're not giving us a hard time—they're having a hard time.That actually makes it easier, I think, to show up as your best, most compassionate self—with, as you say, soft eyes and warm features.Dr. Justin: Yeah.No child wakes up in the morning thinking, Today's the day. I'm just going to ruin everything.This is the perfect opportunity. My parents are tired and frazzled. There's a cost-of-living crisis. There are all these challenges happening, and if ever there was a moment—it's now. I'm going to do it today.They don't wake up thinking that.Like you said—and you said it so perfectly—kids really do want to please us.I know some parents listening to me say that right now are thinking, No, no. My child does not want to please me.And so the question becomes: Why? Why are they struggling?And maybe this is a nice way for me to bring in some of the principles I learned as I went deeper into self-determination theory.There are a couple of times when children are almost guaranteed to be challenging, and this has nothing to do with self-determination theory. This is just general psychology and wellbeing.I always think of Germany. A police officer tells you to stop, but they don't say the word stop because they're German.In German, the word for stop is halt—H-A-L-T.So we add an S to the end, and the acronym becomes:Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired, or Stressed.Sarah: Mm-hmm.Dr. Justin: Those are the five times when you can all but guarantee your children are not going to be doing well.If they are hungry, get some food into them—ideally a little protein, because it's satiating and helps them feel full quickly.If they're angry, then we've got to remember: high emotions equal low intelligence.You can't think straight in a high emotional state.So our job is to get curious, not furious, because if we fight fire with fire, we end up with a scorched-earth policy and everything gets burned.Dr. Justin: Lonely.I could be sitting right next to you, Sarah, and feel disconnected and lonely—Sarah: Mm-hmm.Dr. Justin: —even if we were very close.Our children are sometimes literally sitting at our kitchen bench, and they feel alone. They feel a little lost. Because of the way we're responding to them—with hard commands, correction, and direction rather than connection—they feel lonely.Tired.I don't even need to explain that.Even as adults, I don't know any couple who, at the end of witching hour—or whatever you might call it in North America, that 5:00 to 7:00 p.m. stretch when the kids—Sarah: Yeah.Dr. Justin: —are just oof…It's the end of that period, and you're exhausted, the kids are exhausted, and you look at your husband or wife and say, “You know what? We are so tired. We're shattered. But boy, are we nailing it tonight.”Nobody ever says that when they're tired—Sarah: Yeah.Dr. Justin: —because you're not nailing it. You're just hanging in there.And it's the same with kids.Then the S is for stressed, and that includes sickness, because sickness is a stress on the body as well.Those five indicators are going to let you know when your child is likely to be challenging, and I think they're really good to watch out for.But if we go a little deeper and talk about self-determination theory, it says that each of us has these needs.You have them, Sarah, and I have them, and our children have them—even your mother-in-law has them.We have three basic psychological needs.When we're in environments where those needs are supported, oh my goodness, we thrive. These are environments we're drawn to and attracted to. We approach them with a smile on our face and can't wait to be there.But if the environment is what researchers call need-thwarting or need-frustrating—meaning it frustrates and thwarts those needs—then we avoid it.Sarah: Mm-hmm.Dr. Justin: Or, if we're in those environments, we act in ways that are challenging.So the basic psychological needs are:Number one: a sense of relationship, or relatedness. That's the technical term they use.Relatedness is a sense of mutual belonging.Sarah: So would it be similar to mattering? Like you feel like you matter to somebody?Dr. Justin: Yeah. There's been a lot of talk recently about mattering.But it's reciprocal mattering. It's not just one-way.It's I matter to you, but you matter to me.Sarah: Yeah.Dr. Justin: Let me use Mother's Day as an example.We just had Mother's Day in Australia at the start of May.If I've got a great relationship with my mother-in-law, and it's Mother's Day, I'm probably going to spend the morning with my wife and family while my children celebrate their mum. Then maybe at lunchtime, we head over to the in-laws to celebrate my wife's mum.If I feel like that relationship need is supported at my mother-in-law's—meaning there's mutual belonging, I matter to her, she matters to me, we enjoy one another's company, and it feels good—I'm going to say:“Great. Let's get in the car. Let's go. What do we need to do?”But if I'm going to a need-frustrating environment—if there's tension, antagonism, snide remarks, eye rolls, silence, defensiveness, or wounds from bad things that happened in the past—that environment doesn't feel good to me.So I'm going to say to Kylie:“Honey, why don't you take the kids to your mum's? Have a great lunch. We've made a big mess this morning, and I think the best thing I can do for your Mother's Day”—and I'll frame it nicely, of course—“is stay home, tidy the house, clean up the kitchen, get everything ready, and put dinner on for tonight so you can have your perfect Mother's Day dinner. I'll see you in four hours.”And then I send her out the door.Why?Because my in-laws' home has become a need-thwarting or need-frustrating environment. I just don't want to be there.And if I am there, I'm going to be sullen and sulky. I might try my best for half an hour and then say, “Oh, this is too hard,” and retreat—Sarah: Or text. The adult version of misbehavior.Dr. Justin: Yes, exactly. Exactly.But if I'm a child in a need-thwarting or need-frustrating environment, I'm going to get into fights with the kids I don't like.Or I'm going to say, “I don't want to go to school because everyone picks on me because I don't regulate my behavior properly because I've got ADHD.”Right?So school becomes a place I don't want to go.Or maybe you have a faith background and your child doesn't have any friends at church.Or you've signed them up for soccer, but they don't know anyone on the team.And they're saying, “Yeah, but I don't want to go.”It all comes down to relationship.Relationship is the basic psychological need that's being thwarted.Now, the second basic psychological need is competence.Competence, I would describe as feeling like I can do the thing I'm being asked to do.Sarah: Or that I want to do.Dr. Justin: Yeah. We'll get to want to in just a second, because want-to is the third basic psychological need—autonomy.So stay with me on competence for a second.Competence is capability. Capacity.It's not even necessarily about being able to do something—it's about feeling like you're making progress toward the goal.Let's say I'm joining acrobatics and trying to learn how to do a handstand.That's really tricky. It's a tough skill.If I show up every week to acrobatics, even if I've got great friends there—so my relationship need is supported—and I love my coach, but every time I try to do a handstand my shoulders buckle, my elbows aren't straight, my form is wrong, I fall over, or I can't stay up…After four or five or six weeks, I'm going to say:“I don't like this anymore. I'm out.”I had a daughter who wanted to come cycling with me.I'm a really keen cyclist. I ride on the road. I'm a middle-aged man in Lycra.But I also ride on the velodrome.You've seen those velodrome bikes at the Olympics—the indoor track where they go around and around and around.You might have noticed that after they finish the race, they keep pedaling and do another 10 laps.The reason is twofold.Number one: there are no brakes on those bikes.And second: they use what's called a fixed gear, meaning that when the wheels are spinning, the pedals are spinning.If you stop pedaling, you're going to get thrown over the handlebars because the wheels are still moving, which means the pedals are still moving, even if you try to stop them.So you just have to keep riding until the bike slows down.My daughter wanted to come to Friday night velodrome racing with me.We didn't have the money, but we spent all this cash on a bike, the Lycra, the helmet, the special shoes—it cost a lot, and I was a poor university student.But my daughter wanted to cycle with me, and I wasn't going to miss that opportunity. So we sacrificed and made it happen.Unfortunately, she was competing against girls who had been riding for four, five, or six years.For the first few weeks, she gave it a good go, but she was losing by several laps every race.After about a month, she said:“Dad, I don't want to do this anymore.”And my response was:“But I've spent all this money.”But what was really going on was that as much as she liked the girls and the atmosphere, she didn't feel competent—Sarah: Mm-hmm.Dr. Justin: —and she didn't see progress.She didn't feel like she was ever going to master the activity, so her motivation and wellbeing plummeted.Cycling became a need-thwarting environment for her.Whether it's piano, violin, rock climbing, cycling, swimming, math, PE class—it doesn't matter.If your kids don't feel like they can do the thing, they're going to push back.They're going to say:“This is too hard. I don't like it.”They won't use these exact words, but what they're really saying is:“This is a need-frustrating environment for me. I don't like it. I don't want to be there.”And then they start to act out.My mom got to the stage with me as a 13-year-old boy where she was physically holding me by the arm and dragging me into my piano lessons.Dr. Justin: Which brings me to my third and final basic psychological need, which is autonomy.A lot of people hear the word autonomy and think it means freedom—that kids can do whatever they want. They think it means independence.That's not what autonomy means, certainly not in the strict scientific form we're talking about within this theory.Rather, autonomy comes down to identifying the value of an activity and therefore endorsing the actions required to do the activity.See, if I, as a 12-year-old, looked at piano and thought:This is going to be a lifelong skill that will bring me joy, that I'll be able to share with others, that I can use in service of my family and community. If I can play piano or keyboard, I could be in a band. I could do all of these things.If I identified the value in the activity, then I would endorse the work required to learn it.So autonomy is not about freedom and independence. It's about choice based on values.That's a lot when you're thinking about three-, four-, and five-year-olds, but not necessarily—Sarah: No, I love that.We talk about that all the time in my communities—how important it is for kids to have autonomy.And I think you can have autonomy even when kids can't be independent, right?Because you can't have a four-year-old who's independent, but you can have a four-year-old who can make decisions that matter.Dr. Justin: Yes, yes.And that decision goes well beyond, Do you want to wear the blue suit or the green one?Sarah: I'll quote our friend Alfie Kohn. He says, “Kids should have the ability to make decisions that make adults gulp a little bit.”Dr. Justin: I love it. Yes. Beautiful.Let me give an adult version of this, and then I'll swing it back into childhood, because sometimes parents hear this and think, This isn't quite computing for me.In Canada, you drive on the right-hand side of the road.Sarah: Mm-hmm.Dr. Justin: And it's true that if you choose to drive on the left-hand side of the road, the authorities will probably get involved. You may cause harm to somebody. You could even end up in prison.But even in the middle of the night, when nobody's on the road, I can't imagine there are too many Canadians who get in the car and think:Tonight's the night. Nobody's watching. I'm gonna drive on the left.You are being absolutely controlled by the government and by the law. You're driving on the right-hand side of the road.But because you identify the value in driving on the right-hand side of the road, nobody has to compel you to do it.You just do it because you endorse the idea that driving on the right is safer. It's what you need to do.So our job with our children is twofold.First, when it comes to these basic psychological needs, we want to help them be in environments—or create environments—where those needs are supported.We want to send them to a school where they have good relationships, where somebody says, “Hey, come sit with us,” where teachers know them by name and smile when they see them and are excited to support them.A school where they're able to experience progress—which might mean less emphasis on grades and more emphasis on developing capability.And a school where they feel like they have some say in where they're going and what they're doing.Rather than being forced to attend a school like I was when I was a teenager, they get to say:“No, I want to go to that school because that's where my friends are.”Or:“That's where the teachers help me feel good.”Or:“That's where my interests lie.”That's the basic psychological-needs concept.Now let's bring that into discipline, which is what started this whole conversation.Based on this theory—and I guess it ties back to a lot of what Alfie Kohn has said as well—I developed a little model that's really easy to memorize and even easier to enact.I call it the Three E's of Effective Discipline.The Three E's of Effective Discipline are need-supportive.If you look at the root of the word discipline, it comes from the idea that we teach, guide, and instruct—that we show the way to follow.Sarah: Mm-hmm.Dr. Justin: But if you look at the modern definition of discipline, the modern definition is punish.Punish means exact retribution. It means hurt. It means make someone pay a price.Sarah: Make people feel bad on purpose.Dr. Justin: Yeah. That's exactly right.And I'm interested in disciplining our kids, not punishing our kids.Punishment is need-thwarting, right?If you make someone feel bad on purpose, there goes the relationship. They feel incompetent, and you've taken away their autonomy.So standard discipline strategies—whether it's time-out, spanking, yelling, withdrawing privileges, taking away the iPad, bribery—all of those standard discipline practices trample over basic psychological needs.We've got to come up with something better.So I developed the Three E's of Effective Discipline, which are basically this:On a beautiful bed of empathy, we explore, we explain, and we empower.Sarah: Ooh, I love that.Dr. Justin: Explore basically means I sit down with my child at an appropriate time.Because we always try to fix things right here, right now.Sometimes we need to, but often intervention simply to make sure people and property aren't hurt—that's all you need.Then you can say to your child:“We'll have a chat about this later when nobody's got a head full of steam.”Kick it down the road.You don't have to fix things right here, right now. Most of the time, it's just not necessary.So once everyone is calm, you explore.You say:“Hey, I've noticed there's been a lot of tension in our home lately between you and your brother.”Or:“Have you noticed that for the last few weeks we've had so much conflict about screens?”And your child says, “Yeah.”And you say:“I just want to listen because parenting's about parents, right? I must be getting something wrong here. Can you help me understand what I'm missing? Where am I going wrong? What's the real problem from your perspective?”Now, there are three things that make this better.Number one: never do it with an audience.Kids always want to save face. They don't feel competent when we start these conversations in front of other people.Number two: have some treats.Because once you're feeding them, they're like:“Oh, I'm not in trouble. We're just chatting, and there are cookies,” or a thick shake, or something like that.And number three: take notes.When you're trying to solve problems—and that's really what discipline is—The Three E's of Effective Discipline are about problem-solving.Discipline—meaning helping, teaching, guiding, instructing—is really about solving problems.So if I want to solve problems effectively in my home—if I want to discipline my children well—I'm trying to say:“Where are you coming from? What am I missing?”When you take notes on what your kids are saying, it's amazing how much information they give you because they realize:You're really listening to me.Sarah: Yeah. You're taking me seriously. You're writing down what I say.Dr. Justin: They're blown away by it.So they'll tell you a bunch of stuff.Now, every now and then they won't. Sometimes they'll shrug and say, “I don't know.”And you can say:“Well, if you don't know, that's fine. But if you did know…”This drives kids crazy, but it's my favorite sentence.“If you did know, what do you think the answer would be?”Sarah: Mm-hmm.Dr. Justin: And they roll their eyes.“Well, I don't know. That's what I said. If I knew, I'd tell you, but I don't know.”And I say:“I know you don't know, and I understand that if you did know, you would tell me. But if you did know, what would you tell me?”Sarah: I love that.Dr. Justin: They get this feeling—it's like this horrible psychological trick where:I don't know the answer, but if I had to come up with one, I guess I'd say this…And now the conversation starts.You get momentum.Sarah: You Jedi mind-trick them.Dr. Justin: Yeah. It's beautiful.And you write it down.At no point are you allowed to interrupt.At no point are you allowed to tell them they're wrong.At no point are you allowed to respond with your adult wisdom.You just listen.Sarah: Okay, and we're still on explore?Still on the first E?Dr. Justin: We're still on the first E.You make all these notes, and once it sounds like they've told you everything, you say:“All right. So what you're telling me is…”And then you read the notes back.This is the oldest psychological strategy in the book—I'm not saying anything new here.If they say, “Yes, that's what I'm saying,” you say:“All right. Great. I've got it.”If they say no, then you say:“Oh, what have I missed? How did I get this wrong? Clarify it for me.”And they give you more information.But there's a really valuable question at the end.When they say, “Yes, that's what I'm saying,” you ask:“Fantastic. Is there anything else?”Sarah: Mm-hmm.Dr. Justin: The power of asking that extra question is profound.It forces them to go deeper.Sometimes they'll say, “No, that's it.”But often, their first answers are shallow answers to get you off their back.They're thinking:I'm telling you what I think you want to hear.But when you say:“Got it. You're happy with this answer? Fantastic. Is there anything else going on?”That's when they look at you and think:Oh—you're actually serious about this. You really care.Sarah: And you're really listening to me.Dr. Justin: Yeah.And it's profound what children will give you after you ask, “Is there anything else?”Once you've got everything written down, confirmed, and you're clear, the next step is explain.Dr. Justin: Now, there are a couple of things around explain.Explain is basically the part where you tell them what they need to know. This is the parent bit.But all too often, we step into lecturing, and the kids fall asleep. They're like, “Oh, here we go again. I thought this was going to be different, but it's no different after all.”So there are a couple of things we need to get right here.Number one: if you're going to explain anything to your children, my recommendation is that you keep it to less than 20 seconds.Now, there's no science around this. This is just my experience in talking with parents and kids in my own family. I find that if you talk for more than 10 to 20 seconds, kids really do tune out, and it goes back to the way things have always been.The second thing is that I always ask permission.“Now that I've listened to you, Sarah, there are just one or two things I'd love to run by you about what's going on. Do you mind if I do that?”I want to make this absolutely clear: as a parent, you do not need your child's permission to tell them things. I really, absolutely, honestly believe that. As the parent, you have the right to tell them stuff they need to know.But this isn't about rights. This is about effectiveness.If I launch into, “Well, Sarah, now that I've listened to that, I get it, but I need to tell you these two things,” I'm already bringing defensiveness back into the relationship.Sarah: Mm-hmm.Dr. Justin: Barriers are coming up.Whereas if I say, “Sarah, this is so helpful. As I've listened to you, two things have come to mind. Do you mind if I share both of those with you?” Your instant response, even as I say it—I'm watching your face—Sarah: I'm nodding.Dr. Justin: And you're going—Sarah: Yeah.Dr. Justin: Yeah. I actually want to know.You're opening up your heart and mind to me, and we're just role-playing this.Sarah: Yeah, yeah. Mm-hmm.Dr. Justin: And that's what our kids do. They're like, “Oh, okay.” Because we've given them the courtesy of listening—Sarah: Well, and you're not trying to use your power over them.Dr. Justin: Exactly.This is a non-coercive, really supportive conversation.And I still haven't had this happen. A lot of parents will say, “Well, what happens if they say no?”And I'm like, “I've raised six kids, and they've never actually looked at me and said, ‘Now that I think about it, no, I don't need to know anything that you…'”They've just never done it.But even if they did—Sarah: Well, if they do, it's probably that they're—what did you say? When emotions are high, intelligence is low. Maybe it wasn't the right time to have the conversation.If they're saying no, then they're probably still angry and holding onto whatever was going on for them.Dr. Justin: Exactly.But if they're that angry, they're probably not going to have explored nicely with you anyway.Sarah: Yes, exactly. So pick—Dr. Justin: A different time.You're probably not even going to—Sarah: Get to that point. Yeah.Dr. Justin: So it's very much: keep it really short, ask permission, and then share.Sarah: Okay. So give me examples.You said, “We've been fighting about screens,” was one example. You also gave the example of, “You've been fighting a lot with your brother.”So in the explain—10 to 20 seconds—choose one of those scenarios. After hearing your child, what would you say in that 10 to 20 seconds?Dr. Justin: I did this just the other day with my 16-year-old daughter, Lily, who is on social media more than she should be. There's been some tension and conflict.I listened. She shared some ideas, and I said, “There are just a couple of things I want to run by you. Is that okay?”She said, “Sure, Dad.”I said, “Great. There are certain times when we're trying to connect or have family time, and there are certain contexts where you're on your device and we just can't reach you.”She looked at me and said, “Yeah, I know.”I said, “Okay. The second thing I want to highlight is that we've noticed you're sleeping in because, even though you're not supposed to, you've been taking your phone into your bedroom at night and staying up late scrolling. Unless I'm reading it wrong, I'm pretty sure that's what's been happening.”And she said, “No, I have been, Dad. You're right.”So it's just two really succinct sentences where I'm stating what I'm seeing. I'm sharing my experience.Sarah: Mm-hmm.Dr. Justin: If it were the sibling fighting, I'd say, “Yeah, your brother is really annoying. I get what's going on. Sometimes I wish he didn't live in our house as well.”I might have a joke with them about the challenge associated with that.And then I might say, “So when this happens, can I just share how it feels for me? It breaks my heart. I love both of you so very much, and my dream is for our family to enjoy being in one another's company and to look forward to conversations and jokes and doing the things we do. When this stuff is going on, it feels like that's a pipe dream.“And secondly, psychologically—you know I've got this PhD in psychology—I know that there's damage being done to the way your brother feels about himself. That's what I'm worried about.”So I've had both of those little conversations on two different topics, sharing two different things, and both were about 10 seconds each.Sarah: Mm-hmm.Dr. Justin: Again, it's conversational. It's not lecture-style.Sarah: And it's from the heart.I can feel it, even though this is just an example you're giving. I can feel that it's from your heart—that you're really being open and sharing with your child what your true concerns are.You're not trying to power over or control. You're really sharing a heartfelt sentiment.Dr. Justin: Yeah. Thank you. That's the goal.You won't always do that, but that's the goal.The reason there's a problem is because your values are not being upheld in the home, and you're trying to communicate that in a way that shows you honor them and that they've got a brain.Now, we've used two really grown-up versions—or teenage versions, I guess. But you can have the same conversations with three- and four-year-olds. It's just shorter. It's simpler.Usually, with those conversations, in a pretty tight timeframe—60 to 90 seconds—you've done the whole process.There is a higher-order—Sarah: Okay, so what's the third part?Dr. Justin: Just before I get to that one, if you really want to do the advanced version of explain, what I'll often do after I've explored with my child is say:“Okay, so this is the bit where I'd normally explain what's going on from my point of view. I wonder if you can tell me what you think I'm going to say here.”Sarah: Ah.Dr. Justin: And so I get them to explain the explain to me.The reason that's so effective is that whenever my mouth is the one that's moving, my brain is the one that's working.If I can get their mouth moving, their brain is doing the heavy lifting.Sarah: Love that.Dr. Justin: That's really, really effective.And then the last one—Sarah: Is empower.And you're also helping them see things and develop empathy, right? To see things from somebody else's perspective.Dr. Justin: Yes. Powerful.The last one is empower.That's literally as simple as saying, “Okay, so I get where you're coming from. We've had that conversation very thoroughly. You know what my challenge is here. What do you think we should do?”“Where do we go from here? How do we solve this in a way that we can both feel good about?”It's true that every now and then, your child will shrug their shoulders and say, “I don't know.”Or they'll shrug and say, “Well, we should just do what I want to do.”And as a parent, that's where you step in and say my favorite line:“Don't you just wish? Don't you just wish we could?”Sarah: Mm-hmm.Dr. Justin: Because—well, let me ask you, Sarah. When I say, “Don't you just wish,” or, “Wouldn't it be good if we could?”—same thing—what have I actually said?Sarah: Total empathy. Heaps of empathy.Dr. Justin: Total empathy.But I've also said something else really clearly.Sarah: That that's not going to work.Dr. Justin: Correct. The answer is no.But it's a no with so much love, kindness, empathy, and gentleness in it—Sarah: Mm-hmm.Dr. Justin: —that your child goes, “Oh, yeah. I know.”And then you say, “So let's see if we can come up with a solution that will work.”What else might work for you when it comes to your brother?What else might work for you when it comes to the party on Friday night that I'm not willing to let you go to?What else could work when it comes to our screen challenges? Because this is an ongoing issue for us, isn't it?Every now and then, you won't get an answer right away. You'll say, “Well, let's talk about it again tonight,” or, “Let's talk about it again tomorrow once you've had some time to think about it.”But I'm big on deadlines.“We need to have this worked out by the end of the weekend, okay? I don't want to go through another week of this. We've got to find a solution. If we haven't had another chat by tomorrow night, we're going to sit down and work it out then.”And I also don't have a problem at this point—Laura Walker is a researcher at BYU in Utah, and she did a study published in the Journal of Adolescence where she found that parents who use these kinds of strategies—she's not talking about the Three E's of Effective Discipline, because that's the thing I developed, but it's based on the same sort of theory that she researches—Parents who use these kinds of strategies, even when they do have to step in and say, “All right, well, we haven't come up with a solution, so it's going to be my way,” kids are much more likely to be responsive and compliant—Sarah: Mm-hmm.Dr. Justin: —because we've been through a process with them that is not autocratic. It's not authoritarian.They've felt like they had a voice. Their perspective has been seen and heard. They've had some input.And even though they don't get what they want all the time—because we're the parents, and sometimes the fact that we've climbed 47 rungs on the ladder of life and they've only climbed 13 is all we need.Sarah: That's what I call in my work the goodwill bank.When your kids experience you as collaborative, non-coercive, and not power-tripping—when they know, over the period of their childhood, that they can trust you to take their preferences into account and be respectful of them—then when you do have to say no about something, even if they don't like it, there's this goodwill bank behind you and this level of trust.When you mentioned, “You can't go to the party on Friday,” I never had that issue with my kids because everything was so collaborative.We'd have similar conversations. I didn't have—I'm not very good at thinking of things like the Three E's—but similar kinds of processes where they'd say why they wanted to go, I'd say what my concerns were, and then they'd invariably say, “Oh, yeah, you're probably right.”It was never, “You can't go.”It was, “These are my concerns. This is what I've been thinking about.”Because they experienced that whole process over years of parenting, you don't get the pushback because they don't feel like you're power-tripping them.Dr. Justin: Yeah.Sarah, I had an experience with one of my adult children who was still living at home. I think she was maybe 19 or 20 when this happened.She wanted to go and do something, and I said to her, “You're an adult. You do get to choose for yourself whether you will do this or not, but I've got some really big concerns about you doing it.“I actually think you're putting yourself into a dangerous situation. There's some history, some volatility, and some challenges if you go and involve yourself in this particular activity. Tell me why this is so important to you.”So she walked me through it, and I said, “Okay, I get it. How do my concerns stack up against your desire to be there?”And she said, “Dad, I get what you're saying, but I want to go.”And I said, “Okay, so…”You used that beautiful term, the goodwill bank. I can't remember exactly what my words were, but I'm going to use your term right now, because I essentially said:“I'm going to use the goodwill I've built up with you over the last however many years and step in really firmly and say you're making a mistake.“As your dad, even though you're an adult, I want to forbid you to go. That's how strongly I feel about this. To the degree that I can, I forbid it.“Ultimately, you will choose because you are an adult, but I don't want you there.”Sarah: I'm going on the record.Dr. Justin: Yeah, yeah.“I need you to trust that this is a bad idea. We can come up with any number of other activities you could do instead, with different people in a different location, but this is a bad idea, and you have none of my support should you go.“If you go and something goes wrong, you call me and I'll come rescue you. But it is a bad idea, and I forbid it.”And I couldn't believe I was saying those words. I've never said them in my life, and now I was saying them to an adult.But she looked at me and said, “Okay.”Sarah: Mm-hmm.Dr. Justin: She didn't fight me. She didn't say, “I can do what—”Sarah: No, because you built up the history with her of how she experienced you.Dr. Justin: Yeah. She was like, “Wow, this is serious. He's never said that before. If he feels that strongly, maybe he's right. Maybe I need to find an alternative.”So anyway, that's the Three E's of Effective Discipline.I feel like I've talked too much, Sarah. I wanted to be much more conversational, but I get carried away when we—Sarah: No, no. I love it.I feel like it's very complementary to the things that I teach, and you've given me some new things to teach parents as well.I love having sort of snappy—the Three E's of Discipline. I think that's great. I love it. I'll share it.Dr. Justin: Yeah, please. Absolutely.It's helped so many millions of parents.Sarah: Yeah.Well, I love that we've connected across the world—from the other side of the world to each other—and I look forward to hopefully talking to you again in March of 2027 when your book Boys comes out.I figured we were going to talk about that, but we had such a lovely conversation about peaceful parenting, discipline, and—oh my God, it's gone right out of my head—Dr. Justin: Self-determination theory.Sarah: Self-determination theory.I think it was a really great conversation, and I really appreciate you sharing all of your experience and wisdom.Dr. Justin: I loved the conversation.Like I said, it was too one-sided. I wish we'd been able to go backward and forward a bit more, but let's do it again.Let's chat again next year when the book comes out, and we'll talk about boys and how to help them.There's so much talk about toxic masculinity.Sarah: Mm-hmm.Dr. Justin: Wouldn't it be great if we could give them a view of healthy masculinity—a model of that to follow?That's what my book is all about: how we can guide boys into a healthy form of masculinity.Sarah: Well, for folks in Australia, your book is coming out in June 2026. For folks in North America, it's not coming out until spring 2027.So I will definitely be ringing you up and having you come back on to talk about the book when you've got your North American release. I know we're going to have a great conversation then.Before I let you go, though, I have a question that I ask all my podcast guests:If you had a time machine and you could go back and tell your younger parent self something, what advice would you give yourself?Dr. Justin: Jean-Jacques Rousseau said there is—I can't remember the quote exactly—but: What wisdom is there that is greater than kindness?I've paraphrased it. It's not perfect, but it's something along those lines.Interestingly, Rousseau had, I think, five children—maybe six—and he put them all into orphanages somewhere in the first 18 months of their lives so he could spend more time writing and focusing on how to be a good person, which I just find criminal. I can't believe it.So take it for what it's worth, but “What wisdom is there that's greater than kindness?” is what Rousseau said.I've mentioned this idea of soft eyes a couple of times. If I could go back, I would teach myself about kindness. I'd teach myself about many of the things we've talked about today.But I just want to quickly share the story of soft eyes.As an academic, I want everything I say to be evidence-based. There is no evidence that I'm aware of where people have done any kind of randomized controlled trial where parents are asked to interact with their children with soft eyes, neutral eyes, hard eyes, or anything like that.Soft eyes is this idea—I was giving a presentation at a public library one time, and an elderly lady stepped into the back of the room, sat down, and listened to the last 25 or 30 minutes of my presentation. She must have liked what she could hear from the corridor outside, and she stepped in to listen.After everybody had left, she walked over to me and said, “I really enjoyed what you shared. I'd love to tell you something my grandmother said to me.”So we're going back into the early 1900s.Her grandmother said, “Whenever you're talking to your children about matters of discipline, make sure you have soft eyes.”And I thought, I really like that.Because if you try to have a conversation with somebody and your eyes are soft, you just can't say mean things. You can't say harsh things. You can't have harsh thoughts.If you soften your eyes, your face softens and your heart softens. You have this beautiful compassion and kindness, this ability to see the best in them rather than the worst in them, to assume positive intent.There's something gorgeous about soft eyes.So I would go back and quote Rousseau better than I just quoted him to you, and I would tell my younger self that soft eyes will make a tremendous impact on all of my relationships.Sarah: Ah.There's an American—I don't know if you've heard of him in Australia—but he's a pretty well-known marriage counselor, Terry Real.Dr. Justin: Oh, yeah. I quote him in my book.Sarah: Yeah, yeah. He does a lot of work about—well, he says something like, “There's nothing that harshness can accomplish that kindness can't accomplish better.”Dr. Justin: That's so beautiful.Sarah: Mm-hmm.Dr. Justin: Thank you. That's inspiring. I'm so glad you shared that.Sarah: Yeah. I love it.It's hard to remember, but I think it is true. And I wish that—and I know the world needs a dose of that right now.Dr. Justin: Yeah. Yeah.Sarah: One hundred percent.Well, thank you so much.Where's the best place for folks to go and find out more about you and what you do?Dr. Justin: Probably my podcast, the Happy Families Podcast. My wife and I drop a 15-minute nugget of parenting wisdom every day, five days a week.Sarah: Oh, wow!Dr. Justin: Yeah. It's a lot of content, but it's bite-sized chunks, and it's entertaining. We're fun. We get to do it together.And the Happy Families Podcast. I've got a website called happyfamilies.com.au, but basically, if you like what we've talked about—Sarah: We'll link to all of that in the show notes. We'll link to your website and your podcast, and I'm sure it's easy to find you.Dr. Justin: That sounds great. Thanks, Sarah.Sarah: Thank you so much.Dr. Justin: What a great, great conversation. Lovely to be with you.Reimagine Peaceful Parenting with Sarah Rosensweet Substack is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit sarahrosensweet.substack.com/subscribe

Send us Fan MailYou can't talk a fighter into confidence. And if you've been trying, Andy Grahn has been quietly building it the right way for 30 years.Andy Grahn is a martial arts coach at The Academy MN in Minneapolis, a co-author of the 2024 ecological dynamics MMA paper in Sports Coaching Review, and one of a small group of combat sports coaches actively applying motor learning science to what happens on the mat. This conversation covers how he got there and what it actually looks like in practice.Competence before confidence: Why telling athletes to "just be more confident" doesn't work, and what the ecological approach says about how confidence actually developsAlive training in combat sports: What representative practice looks like in an MMA gym, how Andy navigates the line between safety and specificity, and why sparring is still the anchorThe partner probability paradox: How to design practice when you don't have the right training partner, and what constraints-led coaching looks like when the pairing isn't idealJKD to ecological dynamics: The philosophical thread connecting Bruce Lee's framework to Gibson's ecological psychology, and how Andy's background primed him for the shiftWriting the paper: What it was like to co-author peer-reviewed research as a practitioner alongside Keith Davids and the rest of the teamFor coaches in any sport trying to build real skill, not just clean-looking technique.

MSG: REVIVAL MENTALITY: QUALITYSCRIPTURE: DANIEL 1:6-9 NLTSZN 3: REVIVAL THROUGH BUILDINGIn this message, Pastor David Osborne opens SZN 3: Revival Through Building with REVIVAL MENTALITY: QUALITY: We set the bar for excellence.Through Daniel's story, we see what it looks like to carry quality in the middle of Babylon: pressure, opposition, corruption, and systems that try to rename you, reshape you, and reduce your conviction. But Daniel shows us that quality is not accidental. Quality is built with intention.Pastor David walks through how we build quality with exceptional character, excellent competence, and exquisite care. Character builds credibility and courage. Competence expands provision and prominence. Care builds confidence and community.This message challenges us to build disciples, build His Church, and build broken lives back to life with a standard of excellence that reflects God in every space we serve. 

What can Tom Cruise's last impossible mission teach us about usefulness in the digital age? Aled Maclean-Jones argues that dangling from cargo planes, soldering hard drives, and skydiving nineteen consecutive times is really an extended tribute to embodied knowledge. Listen as MacLean-Jones and EconTalk's Russ Roberts analyze the unique concept of competence presented in Cruise's films. Along the way, they cover London cabbies who refuse to use Waze, a fatal dive at the sound barrier, solo sailing around the globe, and the small triumph of fixing a broken toilet by oneself. They conclude by exploring the possibility that physical mastery may come to matter more as computers take over the work of the mind.

Miami's new mayor, Eileen Higgins, the city's first Democratic mayor in 30 years and first female mayor, discusses her 19-point victory, her record as a county commissioner building 4,000 affordable/workforce housing units with 3,000 more planned, and securing federal funding for two new mass transit lines.She explains how she plans to reform City of Miami bureaucracy with process and technology changes, including same-day permitting for common home improvements, and highlights reopening a long-stalled section of Flagler Street in 30 days.Higgins describes launching her Elevate small-business initiative citywide, joining the Democratic Mayors Association to share solutions on affordability and public safety, and preparing for World Cup events, including a free Bayfront Park Fan Fest.She also addresses immigration impacts, such as changes to Temporary Protected Status, and outlines a $450M public-safety bond to rebuild deteriorating police and fire facilities without raising the tax rate, pending voter approval.True Thirty is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.TIMESTAMPS00:00 Historic Miami Victory 00:49 Competence and Compassion 02:45 Affordable Housing Playbook 04:29 Fighting ICE and TPS 08:55 Empathy in Politics 13:19 Elevate Small Businesses 15:50 Democratic Mayors Network 19:37 First 100 Days Reforms 20:49 Permitting and Process Fixes 24:53 Flagler Street Fast Track 26:28 Building Big Change 26:46 World Cup Fan Fest Plans 28:02 Transit Strategy Game Days 29:23 Clean Government Leadership 30:55 Mayor Moves In Office 34:35 Cottage Homes Explained 37:57 Democrats Local Politics 41:43 Next 100 Days Priorities 42:15 Public Safety Bond Push 46:02 Funding Without Tax Hike 47:26 Closing Thanks Farewell This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.truethirty.com/subscribe

Outline00:00 - Intro 01:30 - Origin story: Naples, electrical engineering, and the fascination with chaos 08:00 - What is chaos?15:00 - DC-DC converters and discontinuity-induced bifurcations 22:00 - Piecewise-smooth dynamical systems26:55 - Complex networks, synchronization, and pinning control 40:30- Synthetic biology: from gene regulatory networks to multicellular control58:00 - COVID-19: a network epidemic model for Italy 1:02:00 - Multiscale control, statistical mechanics, and physics-informed control 1:19:10 - State of the field and the IEEE CSS 1:26:35 - Advice to young researchers 1:29:00 - OutroLinks Mario's website: https://sites.google.com/site/dibernardogroup/home Scuola Superiore Meridionale: https://www.ssm.unina.it/ Chaos by James Gleick: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chaos:_Making_a_New_Science Control of chaos:https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Control_of_chaosErasmus programme: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erasmus_Programme An Adaptive Approach to the Control and Synchronization of Continuous-time Chaotic Systems: https://doi.org/10.1142/S0218127496000254Piecewise-smooth Dynamical Systems: Theory and Applications: https://doi.org/10.1007/978-1-84628-708-4 Bifurcations in nonsmooth dynamical systems: https://doi.org/10.1137/050625060 Controllability of complex networks via pinning:https://doi.org/10.1103/PhysRevE.75.046103 Criteria for global pinning-controllability of complex networks: https://doi.org/10.1016/j.automatica.2008.07.007Controllability of complex networks: https://doi.org/10.1038/nature10011Controlling complex networks with complex nodes: https://doi.org/10.1038/s42254-023-00566-3Analysis, design and implementation of a novel scheme for in-vivo control of synthetic gene regulatory networks: https://doi.org/10.1016/j.automatica.2011.01.073In-vivo Real-time Control of Protein Expression from Endogenous and Synthetic Gene Networks: https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pcbi.1003625A network model of Italy shows that intermittent regional strategies can alleviate the COVID-19 epidemic: https://doi.org/10.1038/s41467-020-18827-5A Continuification-Based Control Solution for Large-Scale Shepherding: https://arxiv.org/abs/2411.04791Shepherding control and herdability in complex multiagent systems: https://doi.org/10.1103/PhysRevResearch.6.L032012Nonreciprocal field theory for decision-making in multi-agent control systems: https://doi.org/10.1038/s41467-025-63071-4Support the showPodcast infoPodcast website: https://www.incontrolpodcast.com/Apple Podcasts: https://tinyurl.com/5n84j85jSpotify: https://tinyurl.com/4rwztj3cRSS: https://tinyurl.com/yc2fcv4yYoutube: https://tinyurl.com/bdbvhsj6Facebook: https://tinyurl.com/3z24yr43Twitter: https://twitter.com/IncontrolPInstagram: https://tinyurl.com/35cu4kr4Acknowledgments and sponsorsThis episode was supported by the National Centre of Competence in Research on «Dependable, ubiquitous automation» and the IFAC Activity fund. The podcast benefits from the help of an incredibly talented and passionate team. Special thanks to L. Seward, E. Cahard, F. Banis, F. Dörfler, J. Lygeros, ETH studio and mirrorlake . Music was composed by A New Element.

In this episode, Prof Chapman explains the critical role mitochondrial health and energy metabolism play in egg competence and embryo development. He breaks down why egg quality declines with age, how chromosome errors happen, and the science behind popular fertility supplements like CoQ10, NADH, and DHEA. Prof Chapman also discusses emerging treatments such as PRP ovarian rejuvenation, why many therapies still lack strong clinical evidence, and what current research may hold for the future of fertility treatment. Explore the 'Prof. Michael Chapman - The IVF Journey' Facebook Page, your reliable destination for cutting-edge insights and guidance within the realm of In Vitro Fertilization (IVF). Don't miss out on the IVF Journey podcast; stay informed with the latest episode updates. Tune in for expert discussions and valuable information on navigating the intricate path of IVF.

Can you handle the task at hand? Hi everyone, Carl Gould here with your #70secondCEO. Just a little over one minute investment every day for a lifetime of results. Not as important, but it is very important, especially in a commercial setting, respect. Can you handle the task at hand, right? So whatever your title is, can you handle the job that you say you can do? Here's why that's important. Because if I don't respect you, I won't bother telling you the truth. I won't bother bringing things to you because you can't handle it. Why would I bring a problem to you if you can't handle it, okay? Like and follow this podcast so you can learn more. My name is Carl Gould and this has been your #70secondCEO.

While General Average allows shared loss in maritime incidents, recent cases (notably The Happy Aras) show claims can fail where shipowners are at fault—particularly through unseaworthiness, poor passage planning, or incompetent crew. In essence, shipowners must prove due diligence, while forwarders are rarely directly liable but should notify insurers if involved.

What if the biggest barrier to student success isn't curriculum, funding, or leadership - it's that we're burning out the very people holding it all together?In this episode, we sit down with Charlie Burley - The Teachers' Health Coach - to get real about the burnout crisis hiding in plain sight across our schools. Charlie shares the moment his own breakdown became his calling, and why fixing teacher wellbeing can't just mean a yoga session at the next INSET day.Charlie Burley is a former primary school teacher turned health coach, author, and founder of the Building Better Balance programme. After burning out in year five of his teaching career, navigating chronic stress, anxiety, and panic attacks, he retrained as a nutritionist and mental health coach and has spent the last seven years working with individual teachers, school leaders, and multi-academy trusts to rebuild wellbeing from the ground up. His diagnostic framework, the Six C's, gives schools a clear picture of where their culture is thriving and where it's quietly crumbling.In this episode, we cover:- Why teachers are burning out - the personal, professional, and systemic factors that pile up unseen- The Six C's framework - Care, Clarity, Capacity, Competence, Connection and Contribution, and how Charlie uses them to diagnose wellbeing across a whole school- Staff before students - Charlie's (perhaps controversial) argument that putting school staff first is the only way to genuinely serve children and families- The Sunday Scaries - what's actually happening in your brain on Sunday evenings, and Charlie's practical three-step approach: Calm, Clarity, Certainty- Marginal gains for mental health - why five minutes before you walk through the school gate might matter more than any wellness programme- Coaching in education and why it's normalised in sport and business but still underused in schools, and what changes when you bring it in- The community cure - Robin Dunbar's research on loneliness, why connection is the first chapter of Charlie's new book, and why belonging might be the most underrated lever in educationIf you're a teacher running on empty, a leader wondering why your wellbeing initiatives aren't landing, or anyone who cares about what education could look like when the people inside schools are actually looked after - this one is for you. Charlie brings the lived experience, the research, and the practical tools. No toxic positivity. No empty platitudes. Just an honest conversation about what it actually takes to rewrite wellbeing in schools."If you put your staff first, they will take care of everything."Chapters:00:00 Introduction & what's been going on at Edufuturists03:00 Meet Charlie Burley: from Year 6 teacher to health coach05:30 Charlie's burnout story: self-worth, grief, and throwing himself into work10:15 Why teacher stress cascades down to students12:20 The Six C's framework: diagnosing wellbeing across a whole school18:00 Why coaching is still underused in education21:30 Crisis leadership vs. strategic wellbeing: the difference that matters24:20 Staff first: the case for putting teachers before targets29:15 Practical wellbeing: creating space in a packed day34:30 Is teaching uniquely stressful? The emotional labour debate40:55 The Sunday Scaries: anticipatory anxiety and the three C's fix47:40 Community, connection and why belonging underpins everything54:35 Quickfire Questions

On this week's show, the boys play Capcom's latest AAA foray, Pragmata. We talk about father/daughter dynamics in video games, the joys of hacking, and what it means to be a slayer gamer. Become a citizen of The Dive Down Nation!: http://www.patreon.com/thedivedown Show the world that you're a proud citizen of The Dive Down Nation with some merch from the store: https://www.thedivedown.com/store Upgrade your gameplay and your gameday with Heavy Play accessories. Use code THEDIVEDOWN for 10% off your first order at https://www.heavyplay.com Get 25% Cashback after 3 months of service with ManaTraders! https://www.manatraders.com/?medium=thedivedown and use coupon code THEDIVEDOWN And now receive 8% off your order of paper cards from Nerd Rage Gaming with code DIVE8 at https://www.nerdragegaming.com/ Timestamps: 0:01 - Sparking graphic novels 4:01 - This week's episode 6:34 - Dave's old business: cookin' and cubin' 11:55 - Pragmata - the basic setup 26:48 - What this game does well 37:58 - Competence vs. excellence 59:52 - The psychology of gamers 1:05:46 - Public comments: The card(s) that got us into Magic 1:12:04 - Wrapping up Our opening music is Nowhere - You Never Knew, and our closing music is Space Blood - Goro? Is That Your Christian Name? email us: thedivedown@gmail.com

The loudest person in the room is rarely the most dangerous. In this episode of The Level Up Podcast, Paul Alex breaks down why real confidence does not come from ego, attention, or constantly telling people how successful you are. It comes from competence. Anyone can talk a big game. Anyone can post wins. Anyone can create the illusion of authority. But the entrepreneurs who actually dominate are the ones who have built the skill, the experience, and the track record to back it up. They do not need to beg for respect. They earn it through execution. In this episode, you'll learn: Why ego is often a cover-up for insecurity How competence creates quiet, unshakable confidence Why execution will always beat empty motivation and hype How consistent results build trust, authority, and long-term credibility The market does not care how loud you are. It cares about what you can actually deliver. Because when your skills are sharp, your results are real, and your track record is undeniable… You do not need to convince people you are valuable. Your work speaks for you. Your Network is your NETWORTH! Make sure to add me on all SOCIAL MEDIA PLATFORMS: Instagram: ⁠https://jo.my/paulalex2024⁠ Facebook: ⁠https://jo.my/fbpaulalex2024⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGhDAD1JyGGzSQUPD9lc9HQ⁠ LinkedIn: ⁠https://jo.my/inpaulalex2024⁠ Looking for a secondary source of income or want to become an entrepreneur? Check out one of my companies below to see if we can help you: ⁠www.CashSwipe.com⁠ FREE Copy of my book “Blue to Digital Gold - The New American Dream” ⁠www.officialPaulAlex.com⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

For leaders, growth often means change. Throughout a career, many leaders step into a new role, expand their responsibilities, and have a larger scope of influence. Moving into a new role doesn't always mean that leadership evolves in the way it needs to. This episode of the Forward Thinking Podcast features FCCS SVP of Marketing and Communications Stephanie Barton and Nicole Brusewitz, FCCS VP of Leadership Development, Learning and Consulting Services. Together, they discuss navigating the growth and change that comes with leadership responsibilities, including how leaders show up, how they influence others, and how their leadership must evolve as their scope expands.   Episode Insights Include: The challenging part of leadership transitions There is more to effective leadership transition than simply stepping into the role. Leadership transitions are often treated as structural shifts. The most critical shift happens internally – not what you are doing but who you are being. Many leaders fail to transform how they lead. Transformation is about identity, not just responsibilities.   Why do transitions feel so hard? When leaders move into bigger roles, they often focus on responsibilities instead of visibility. Recognition that your every day behaviors are shaping the system is essential. The higher you go in an organization, the more your leadership is defined by what you enforce, not what you intend. Leadership skills are not the same as technical skills.   Visibility in today's remote workforce Your team doesn't experience your intent, they experience their interpretation of your behavior. Silence easily creates susption and storytelling about leadership intention. Fast moving leaders may be trying to create intention while the team views it as being left behind. The unseen interpretation of leadership behavior creates a wide and fast gap in times of transition.   Unintentional culture shaping Culture is shaped by a leadership interpretation gap. Both in-person and remote workers need to clearly know what their leaders are trying to enforce. Communication about work styles is essential in effective leadership. Name what you are doing to reinforce what you are enforcing.    Leaders who let go Leaders may need to let go of old habits that are no longer serving their new role.  Redefine what 'being helpful' means – solving every problem creates dependency and being an expert limits others.  Set expectations, create clarity, and let others think and own their decisions.  Effective leaders allow others to develop their own expertise.    Shaping environment instead of managing work Effective leaders don't simply manage tasks, they shape conditions.  Strategies include reinforce standards, modeling accountability, and ensuring trust.  Leaders who only transition roles stay busy, while leaders who transform stop doing the work and start enabling it.  Consider how you can coach rather how you can play.    Leadership transformation is an identity shift Competence is not the issue with effective leaders.  You can transition your title in a day, but transforming how you lead takes time and intention.  What got you here won't get you there.  Being the expert is not all that matters, leveling up means your team doesn't need you for every answer.  Effective leaders build a team who can perform without you.    This podcast is powered by FCCS.   Resources   Connect with Nicole Brusewitz – Nicole Brusewitz Leadership Journeys   Get in touch – info@fccsconsulting.com   "Transformation is about identity, not just responsibilities." — Nicole Brusewitz   "The higher you go in an organization, the more your leadership is defined by what you enforce, not what you intend." — Nicole Brusewitz   "As leaders we have intention, but our teams only see our behavior." — Nicole Brusewitz   "You can transition your title in a day, but transforming how you lead takes time and intention." — Nicole Brusewitz

In this episode of Student of Life, we take a deeper look at character—not as a concept, but as the foundation of how we actually live and lead. It's easy to focus on gifting, competence, and outcomes, but character is what shows up under pressure and what ultimately shapes our impact. Through Scripture and reflection, we explore how character is formed over time, how it can be hidden by success, and why it doesn't stay private—especially in leadership. This is an invitation to slow down, self-examine, and allow God to shape what's underneath it all.Student of Life GuideKey IdeaCharacter is not what we say or intend—it's what consistently shows up in how we live, respond, and lead.3 Big Insights1. Pressure reveals what's been formed.In moments of tension, we don't perform—we reveal who we've become.2. Competence can hide character gaps.Skill and success can carry you for a while, but character determines sustainability.3. Character is formed through process, not intention.It's developed over time through obedience, humility, and honest self-examination.Reflection QuestionsWhat consistently shows up in me under pressure?Where might my competence be covering areas of undeveloped character?When was the last time I honestly asked God to examine my heart?Practice (1–2 sentences)Take 10 minutes this week to sit with Psalm 139:23–24 and ask God to reveal one area of your character He wants to form—and don't rush past what comes up.

In this podcast, Greg Voisen sits down with world-renowned motivation expert Susan Fowler to discuss the second edition of her groundbreaking book, Why Motivating People Doesn't Work...and What Does. Susan reveals a revolutionary truth: stop trying to motivate people. By shifting the focus from "carrots and sticks" to the science of psychological needs, she provides a blueprint to end "quiet quitting" and spark sustainable vitality in any organization.

Thank you for joining us for another episode of Building the Premier Accounting Firm. Today, host Roger Knecht and David Waite discuss the evolving accounting profession, focusing on how education must adapt to prepare students for a world with AI and changing job roles. They explore the shift from traditional accounting tasks to advisory services and critical thinking. Episode Navigation: 00:00 Welcome and Introduction 01:02 David's Accounting Journey 06:53 The Limited Scope of Accounting Education 11:35 The Need for Educational Reform 15:37 Introducing Bookkeeping into Academia 20:01 Intuit's Role in Modernizing Accounting Education 26:06 Universal Accounting's Approach to Bookkeeping Training 31:13 Empowering Accountants with Business Acumen 41:57 AI's Impact on Accounting Education 47:39 Teaching Principles vs. Data Entry 51:52 Managing AI and Core Principles 56:48 From Task-Doers to Problem-Solvers 01:02:04 Confidence, Competence, and the Future 01:10:30 Personal Reflections and Insights 01:15:29 Work-Life Balance Philosophies 01:18:30 Prioritization and Delegation 01:23:37 Rapid-Fire and Future Outlook Key Takeaways: Rethink accounting education to move beyond rote tasks and emphasize critical thinking for future professionals. Recognize that the accounting profession offers diverse career paths beyond the traditional CPA and public accounting roles. Integrate technology like QuickBooks and AI into curriculum to prepare students for real-world accounting practices. Teach students to question and analyze AI outputs, ensuring they maintain fundamental understanding and professional judgment. Equip graduates with confidence and competence to navigate an accounting landscape increasingly focused on advisory services and business process understanding. Featured Quotes: "If you find something that you're good at, that you like to do, that you like to study, go into that." - David Waite "We're commoditizing the hindsight work… now we're getting more into the insightful side… and now we're going to be spending a lot more time… in the foresight." - Roger Knecht "We're teaching you how to think in a way that whatever comes your way, you're going to figure it out." - David Waite   Conclusion: Thank you for joining us for another episode of Building the Premier Accounting Firm with Roger Knecht. For more information on how you can establish your own accounting firm and take control of your time and income, call 435-344-2060 or schedule an appointment to connect with Roger's team here.   Sponsors: Universal Accounting Center Helping accounting professionals confidently and competently offer quality accounting services to get paid what they are worth. Offers: Get a demo of Maxima here: https://www.maxima.ai/book-a-demo   Are you ready for a change, both personally and professionally?  Then accept and participate in the Accountrepreneurs Challenge.  This is a FREE opportunity to apply best practices and make this the best year yet in your career. Be sure to join us for GrowCon, the LIVE event for accounting professionals to work ON their business. This conference is one you don't want to miss. Get a FREE copy of these books all accounting professionals should use to work on their business and become profitable.  These are a must-have addition to every accountant's library to provide quality CFO & Advisory services as a Profit & Growth Expert today: "Red to BLACK in 30 days – A small business accountant's guide to QUICK turnarounds."  "in the BLACK, Nine Principles to Make Your Business Profitable"  "Your Strategic Accountant" - Understand the 3 Core Accounting Services (CAS - Client Accounting Services) you should offer as you run your business.  "Your Profit & Growth Expert" - Offer CFO & Advisory services with confidence and competence.  Take the time to understand what your clients expect from you as their accountant. Follow the Turnkey Business plan for accounting professionals.  This is the proven process to start and build the premier accounting firm in your area.  After more than 40 years we've identified the best practices of successful accountants and this is a presentation we are happy to share.     Also learn the best practices to automate and nurture your lead generation process allowing you to get the bookkeeping, accounting and tax clients you deserve.  GO HERE to see this presentation and learn what you can do today to identify and engage with your ideal clients.   Check it out and see what you can do to be in business for yourself but not by yourself with Universal Accounting Center.   It's here you can become a:   Professional Bookkeeper, PB Professional Tax Preparer, PTP Profit & Growth Expert, PGE   Next, join a group of like-minded professionals within the accounting community.  Register to attend GrowCon and Stay up-to-date on current topics and trends and see what you can do to also give back, participating in relevant conversations as they relate to offering quality accounting services and building your bookkeeping, accounting & tax business.   The Accounting & Bookkeeping Tips Facebook Group The Universal Accounting Fanpage Topical Newsletters: Universal Accounting Success The Universal Newsletter   Lastly, get your Business Score to see what you can do to work ON your business and have the Premier Accounting Firm. Join over 70,000 business owners and get your score on the 8 Factors That Drive Your Company's Value.   For Additional FREE Resources for accounting professionals check out this collection HERE! Be sure to join us for GrowCon, the LIVE event for accounting professionals to work ON their business. This is a conference you don't want to miss. Remember this, Accounting Success IS Universal. Listen to our next episode and be sure to subscribe. Also, let us know what you think of the podcast and please share any suggestions you may have.  We look forward to your input: Podcast Feedback For more information on how you can apply these principles to start and build your accounting, bookkeeping & tax business please visit us at www.universalaccountingschool.com or call us at 8012653777

Thank you for joining us for another episode of Building the Premier Accounting Firm. Today, host Roger Knecht and David Waite discuss the evolving accounting profession, focusing on how education must adapt to prepare students for a world with AI and changing job roles. They explore the shift from traditional accounting tasks to advisory services and critical thinking. Episode Navigation: 00:00 Welcome and Introduction 01:02 David's Accounting Journey 06:53 The Limited Scope of Accounting Education 11:35 The Need for Educational Reform 15:37 Introducing Bookkeeping into Academia 20:01 Intuit's Role in Modernizing Accounting Education 26:06 Universal Accounting's Approach to Bookkeeping Training 31:13 Empowering Accountants with Business Acumen 41:57 AI's Impact on Accounting Education 47:39 Teaching Principles vs. Data Entry 51:52 Managing AI and Core Principles 56:48 From Task-Doers to Problem-Solvers 01:02:04 Confidence, Competence, and the Future 01:10:30 Personal Reflections and Insights 01:15:29 Work-Life Balance Philosophies 01:18:30 Prioritization and Delegation 01:23:37 Rapid-Fire and Future Outlook Key Takeaways: Rethink accounting education to move beyond rote tasks and emphasize critical thinking for future professionals. Recognize that the accounting profession offers diverse career paths beyond the traditional CPA and public accounting roles. Integrate technology like QuickBooks and AI into curriculum to prepare students for real-world accounting practices. Teach students to question and analyze AI outputs, ensuring they maintain fundamental understanding and professional judgment. Equip graduates with confidence and competence to navigate an accounting landscape increasingly focused on advisory services and business process understanding. Featured Quotes: "If you find something that you're good at, that you like to do, that you like to study, go into that." - David Waite "We're commoditizing the hindsight work… now we're getting more into the insightful side… and now we're going to be spending a lot more time… in the foresight." - Roger Knecht "We're teaching you how to think in a way that whatever comes your way, you're going to figure it out." - David Waite   Conclusion: Thank you for joining us for another episode of Building the Premier Accounting Firm with Roger Knecht. For more information on how you can establish your own accounting firm and take control of your time and income, call 435-344-2060 or schedule an appointment to connect with Roger's team here.   Sponsors: Universal Accounting Center Helping accounting professionals confidently and competently offer quality accounting services to get paid what they are worth. Offers: Get a demo of Maxima here: https://www.maxima.ai/book-a-demo   Are you ready for a change, both personally and professionally?  Then accept and participate in the Accountrepreneurs Challenge.  This is a FREE opportunity to apply best practices and make this the best year yet in your career. Be sure to join us for GrowCon, the LIVE event for accounting professionals to work ON their business. This conference is one you don't want to miss. Get a FREE copy of these books all accounting professionals should use to work on their business and become profitable.  These are a must-have addition to every accountant's library to provide quality CFO & Advisory services as a Profit & Growth Expert today: "Red to BLACK in 30 days – A small business accountant's guide to QUICK turnarounds."  "in the BLACK, Nine Principles to Make Your Business Profitable"  "Your Strategic Accountant" - Understand the 3 Core Accounting Services (CAS - Client Accounting Services) you should offer as you run your business.  "Your Profit & Growth Expert" - Offer CFO & Advisory services with confidence and competence.  Take the time to understand what your clients expect from you as their accountant. Follow the Turnkey Business plan for accounting professionals.  This is the proven process to start and build the premier accounting firm in your area.  After more than 40 years we've identified the best practices of successful accountants and this is a presentation we are happy to share.     Also learn the best practices to automate and nurture your lead generation process allowing you to get the bookkeeping, accounting and tax clients you deserve.  GO HERE to see this presentation and learn what you can do today to identify and engage with your ideal clients.   Check it out and see what you can do to be in business for yourself but not by yourself with Universal Accounting Center.   It's here you can become a:   Professional Bookkeeper, PB Professional Tax Preparer, PTP Profit & Growth Expert, PGE   Next, join a group of like-minded professionals within the accounting community.  Register to attend GrowCon and Stay up-to-date on current topics and trends and see what you can do to also give back, participating in relevant conversations as they relate to offering quality accounting services and building your bookkeeping, accounting & tax business.   The Accounting & Bookkeeping Tips Facebook Group The Universal Accounting Fanpage Topical Newsletters: Universal Accounting Success The Universal Newsletter   Lastly, get your Business Score to see what you can do to work ON your business and have the Premier Accounting Firm. Join over 70,000 business owners and get your score on the 8 Factors That Drive Your Company's Value.   For Additional FREE Resources for accounting professionals check out this collection HERE! Be sure to join us for GrowCon, the LIVE event for accounting professionals to work ON their business. This is a conference you don't want to miss. Remember this, Accounting Success IS Universal. Listen to our next episode and be sure to subscribe. Also, let us know what you think of the podcast and please share any suggestions you may have.  We look forward to your input: Podcast Feedback For more information on how you can apply these principles to start and build your accounting, bookkeeping & tax business please visit us at www.universalaccountingschool.com or call us at 8012653777

Leadership is not just confidence, charisma, capability or ambition. People may initially follow a leader because they look powerful, sound impressive or have the right credentials, but long-term followship comes from trust, character and values. In post-pandemic workplaces, especially in Japan, the United States and across Asia-Pacific, employees are watching leaders more closely than ever. They want to know: who are you when the title, office, awards and "power wall" are stripped away? Why do people really follow leaders? People follow leaders because they trust their values, not simply because they admire their confidence, position or achievements. Confidence, drive and competence matter, but they are entry tickets rather than the full leadership contract. In Japan, Australia, the United States and Europe, professionals have become more alert to gaps between what executives say and what they actually do. A CEO may speak fluently about purpose, psychological safety, diversity or employee engagement, but the team checks the daily evidence. Do they protect people when pressure rises? Do they take accountability? Do they use employees as stepping stones for their own glorious career? Do now: Leaders should audit whether their daily behaviour proves their stated values. Trust is built in small, repeated moments. Are confidence and ambition enough for leadership? No, confidence and ambition may get someone into a leadership role, but they do not guarantee followship. They can even become dangerous when they are disconnected from humility, service and ethical decision-making. Many ambitious managers in multinationals, SMEs and startups are excellent at climbing the greasy pole. They know how to impress senior executives, speak the acronyms, tell the stories and project authority. Yet followers quickly detect whether the leader is building the organisation or merely building their own résumé. In industries from finance and consulting to technology, manufacturing and professional services, capability without character produces compliance, not commitment. Do now: Executives should ask: "Would my team follow me if I had no title?" The answer reveals the real strength of their leadership. Why do impressive credentials fail to create lasting trust? Credentials, awards, degrees and powerful networks can create credibility, but they cannot replace values. A wall of certificates or photos with famous people may impress at first, but it does not answer the deeper question: can I trust you? In corporate life, the "power wall" still exists in many forms: LinkedIn titles, elite university degrees, luxury watches, high-status offices and carefully curated executive branding. These signals may matter in conservative markets such as Japan, where hierarchy and status have cultural weight. But followers eventually look past the packaging. They judge whether the leader is fair, consistent, courageous and honest when the pressure is on. Do now: Use credentials to establish competence, not superiority. Let values, not status symbols, carry your leadership authority. Does physical presence make someone a better leader? Physical presence may influence first impressions, but it does not make someone a better leader. Height, appearance, voice and style can command attention, but they cannot compensate for weak judgement or self-centred values. Research and everyday business experience both suggest that tall, polished, articulate leaders often enjoy an early advantage. They look the part. They sound the part. They may even get promoted because they fit an executive image. Yet the daily grind exposes the truth. A leader who talks well but serves only themselves soon loses moral authority. The team sees the gap between altitude and aptitude. Do now: Leaders should develop presence, but never mistake presence for substance. Real authority comes from consistency, competence and trust. How do followers detect a leader's real values? Followers detect values by watching behaviour, especially under stress, conflict and pressure. They are not listening only to speeches; they are scanning for contradictions between words and actions. Employees are ninja-level boss watchers. They notice tone, mood, fairness, favouritism, silence and sudden changes in priorities. In Japan's relationship-driven business culture, people may not openly challenge a leader, but they still observe everything. In Western markets, employees may be more direct, but the judgement process is similar. If leaders proclaim teamwork but reward political games, or speak about integrity while sacrificing people for personal advancement, trust collapses quickly. Do now: Treat every meeting, decision and crisis as a values test. Your team is always collecting evidence. What values create real followship? Real followship grows when leaders show integrity, fairness, courage, service and accountability over time. People want to know that the leader's values are not decorative slogans but operational principles. Leadership values must survive pressure. It is easy to sound noble at town halls, off-sites and strategy sessions. It is harder to defend people, admit mistakes, share credit, make ethical calls and resist the temptation to use others as pawns. Leaders at firms like Toyota, Rakuten, Microsoft and Salesforce are often judged not only by commercial outcomes but also by how they build culture, trust and long-term capability. Do now: Define your non-negotiable values, communicate them clearly and defend them when doing so costs you something. Final summary People may admire leaders for what they have, what they know or what they have achieved. They may be impressed by the big title, the expensive watch, the elite degree, the height, the storytelling or the confident executive presence. But sustainable leadership does not rest on image. Followers eventually ask one central question: "Can I really trust you?" If the answer is yes, they will follow through uncertainty, pressure and change. If the answer is no, the cars, credentials, power walls and polished speeches all collapse. The practical leadership challenge is simple but uncomfortable: strip away the title and ask what remains. If what remains is character, service and values, people will follow. FAQs Why do employees lose trust in leaders? Employees lose trust when a leader's words and actions do not match. If leaders talk about values but act selfishly, politically or unfairly, followers quickly withdraw commitment. Is competence enough to be a strong leader? Competence is essential, but it is not enough. Teams respect skill, experience and intelligence, but they follow leaders they believe are trustworthy and values-driven. What is the difference between authority and followship? Authority comes from position; followship comes from trust. A title may force compliance, but values, consistency and character create voluntary commitment. How can leaders prove their values? Leaders prove values through repeated behaviour under pressure. Fair decisions, accountability, humility and courage matter more than speeches or slogans. Quick actions for leaders Audit the gap between your stated values and daily behaviour. Ask trusted colleagues where your leadership credibility is strongest and weakest. Stop relying on title, credentials or image to carry authority. Make one difficult decision this month that visibly protects your values. Watch how your team responds when pressure rises; that is where trust is tested. Author bio Dr. Greg Story, Ph.D. in Japanese Decision-Making, is President of Dale Carnegie Tokyo Training and Adjunct Professor at Griffith University. He is a two-time winner of the Dale Carnegie "One Carnegie Award" and recipient of the Griffith University Business School Outstanding Alumnus Award. As a Dale Carnegie Master Trainer, Greg is certified to deliver globally across leadership, communication, sales and presentation programs, including Leadership Training for Results. He has written several books, including three best-sellers: Japan Business Mastery, Japan Sales Mastery and Japan Presentations Mastery, along with Japan Leadership Mastery and How to Stop Wasting Money on Training. His works have also been translated into Japanese, including Za Eigyō, Purezen no Tatsujin, Torēningu de Okane o Muda ni Suru no wa Yamemashō and Gendaiban "Hito o Ugokasu" Rīdā. Greg also publishes daily business insights on LinkedIn, Facebook and Twitter, and hosts six weekly podcasts. On YouTube, he produces The Cutting Edge Japan Business Show, Japan Business Mastery and Japan's Top Business Interviews, followed by executives seeking success strategies in Japan.

If you have ever felt a deep desire for something—a relationship, a career goal, a financial dream—but also a nagging fear that you might not be able to handle it if you got it? Join me this week because this episode moves beyond the philosophy of non-stealing into a practical guide for building true competence. We explore how to become the kind of person who can responsibly receive and steward your deepest desires.You'll get concrete steps to build the internal capacities, external skills, and supportive systems needed to hold what you want. We'll walk through a simple action plan to translate desire into practice, tackle common pitfalls like perfectionism and comparison, and end with a powerful guided exercise to assess your readiness. Learn how to cultivate your own "right to have" through the mindful work of preparation and stewardship.

On today's episode of Great Points, Matt talks about building financial competence.  Much like improving your physical fitness, knowledge only goes so far.  Turning your financial literacy into a weekly habit is a great way to nudge yourself into making progress.  Whether it's just checking your weekly spending, making recurring savings or investments, or anything else you've been meaning to do but "just haven't gotten to," making a commitment to yourself and telling someone else about it is a great step towards accountability.

Are you exhausted from chasing motivation that never lasts? In this Clinician's Corner episode, Molly Painschab and Clarissa Kennedy break down why motivation is actually an outcome, not a starting point — and what truly drives sustainable recovery from ultra-processed food use disorder.  Using the lens of Self-Determination Theory (SDT), they unpack the three psychological needs every person in recovery must have met: autonomy, relatedness, and competence — the often-overlooked key that separates short-term compliance from lasting change. 

It feels like we are on a fast treadmill because technology and AI are changing work so quickly. It is hard to stay ahead when old ways of doing things no longer work in this new, advanced digital world. In this episode, Sue Davies, EVP & CHRO of Markel, discusses navigating organizational transformation and how to build resilience in an AI-driven world. We uncover the "ABCS" (Awareness, Buy-in, Competence, and Sustainability) framework for organizational change to guide employees through the anxieties of technological change. We explore the shift from the traditional career ladder to internal talent mobility and why individual accountability is the key to upskilling for the future of work. Sue also shares how AI tools, like Co-pilot can speed up employee training while keeping human interaction and trust at the center of the business. From reflections on a 40-year career to modern AI pilots, Sue shares a clear focus on building workforce adaptability without losing the human touch. This episode provides a strategic roadmap for CHROs looking to lead their people through AI transformation with confidence and empathy. Watch the full video on YouTube ---------- Start your day with the world's top leaders by joining thousands of others at Great Leadership on Substack. Just enter your email: ⁠⁠https://greatleadership.substack.com/ Quick heads-up: my new book, The 8 Laws of Employee Experience, is a practical playbook for building an environment where people do their best work—order a copy here: 8EXlaws.com

More Americans are questioning the president's mental acuity as his late night rants get more unhinged and his war gets more indefinite. Plus, the Trump administration is bringing back firing squads for federal executions.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

April 22, 2026: What does it actually take to build an organization where people perform at their best? In this episode, I'm breaking down what I call Empathetic Excellence — and it comes down to three things: competence, merit, and empathy. Not one of them. All three. I share two stories that have stayed with me — one about my daughter Naomi on the tennis court, and one about my father's first job in America — that I think capture this better than any research study could. I also get into why calling meritocracy a myth is a trap, what two dystopian novels from the 1950s and 60s can teach us about the workplace today, and why the diversity conversation inside organizations needs to shift from what people look like to how they think. If you lead people — or want to — this episode is for you.

Competence

This week, Dina Scippa, founder of Enough Labs and leadership coach to senior directors and VPs inside complex global organizations joins Jill Griffin to break down the invisible patterns that stall high performers right before the leap.Dina Scippa has spent 20+ years working with women leaders across 30+ countries. She sits at the intersection of executive coaching and identity recalibration — helping high achievers turn competence into real influence.What we're getting into:Why high performers plateauThe identity shift from doer to decision-maker that changes their trajectoryLanguage moves that signal executive readiness before you have the titleSupport the showJill Griffin, is a leadership strategist, executive coach, and host of The Career Refresh. She works with senior leaders to navigate complexity, strengthen teams, and lead with greater clarity and intention.With 20+ years of experience at companies like Coca-Cola, Microsoft, Hilton, and Martha Stewart, Jill brings a practical, real-world lens to leadership, decision-making, and career strategy. Visit GriffinMethod.com to learn more about working together:The Next Era Leader An 8-week cohort for women leaders ready to expand their capacity and lead through complexity with clarity and intentionExecutive Coaching & Leadership Advisory 1:1 strategic partnership for leaders navigating growth, transition, and what's nextConnect with Jill for Leadership Development for Organizations and Speaking & WorkshopsInstagram: @JillGriffinOffical

4/19/26 Adey digs into the the story of Hagar to look at a model for resilience.

The quickest way to make people not believe you're qualified is to not believe it yourself. Saying that confidence is important certainly isn't the most groundbreaking thing to hear but knowing exactly WHY it's so important is what really gives people the push to develop it. After last week's episode discussing why you need to have more self-confidence in what you already know, this week we're going to talk about displaying that confidence. Believing yourself good enough is completely different than showing that you're good enough and both parts are required to give the idea that you are credible. So stick around and learn just how important displaying confidence is and some tips on how to go about doing it. Show Notes: People Judge Your COMPETENCE by the CONFIDENCE That You Show(https://www.fearlesspresentations.com/people-judge-your-competence-by-confidence-that-you-show/)

Power doesn't come from doing more, it comes from cutting things out. I've learned that real growth happens when I narrow my focus, remove distractions, and put my energy into fewer things that actually matter. Most people think expansion leads to results, but it usually just spreads you thin. When I eliminate what's not essential, I get sharper, clearer, and more effective. In this episode, I break down why less is actually more, and how cutting things out puts you in a position to win. Show Notes: [04:53]#1 Competence invites comfort and steady validation. [09:05]#2 Elimination concentrates force. [16:56]#3 Exclusivity is built by subtraction. [22:54] Recap Episodes Mentioned: 1193: Focus: The Force Multiplier Next Steps: --- Execution is not a talent. It is a measurable standard. If your results don't match your ability, you are not lacking information—you are lacking execution reliability. The Execution Reliability Index (ERI) identifies exactly where your discipline breaks, where your standards drop, and where your results are leaking. This is not theory. This is a system. Get your ERI score here: → http://www.WorkOnYourGame.com/ERI   This show is the public record of standards. Measurement and enforcement happen elsewhere. All episodes and the complete archive: → WorkOnYourGamePodcast.com 

I break down what the father wound really is and how it silently shapes your relationships, behavior, and identity as a man. I walk through the core archetypes of father wounds and how they show up in your daily life-from approval seeking to commitment issues and emotional disconnection. Most importantly, I share a clear, actionable path to start healing and reclaiming your sense of self. If you've ever felt stuck in patterns you don't fully understand, this episode will help you make sense of them and move forward.SHOW HIGHLIGHTS00:00:00 - What Is the Father Wound00:03:00 - Defining the Father Wound00:06:00 - Identity, Competence & Belonging00:12:30 - Archetype: The Ghost Dad00:16:30 - Archetype: The Critical Father00:22:30 - Archetype: The Volatile / Abusive Father00:27:30 - Archetype: The Enmeshed Father00:31:30 - Archetype: The Spineless Father00:33:30 - How Father Wounds Show Up in Relationships00:46:30 - Step 1: Name It00:49:00 - Step 2: Grieve It00:51:00 - Step 3: Separate Past from Present00:53:30 - Step 4: Reparative Relationships00:55:30 - Step 5: Become the Father You Needed***Tired of feeling like you're never enough? Build your self-worth with help from this free guide: https://training.mantalks.com/self-worthPick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/Heard about attachment but don't know where to start? Try the FREE Ultimate Guide To AttachmentCheck out some other free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your RelationshipBuild brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance. Enjoy the podcast? Leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they're looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | SpotifyFor more, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram

Should You Use Native or 3rd Party Cloud Management Tools? All links and images can be found on CISO Series. Check out this post from Steve Zalewski for the discussion that is the basis of our conversation on this week's episode co-hosted by David Spark, the producer of CISO Series, and Edward Contreras, senior evp and CISO, Frost Bank. Joining us is their sponsored guest, Gal Ordo, co-founder and CPO, Native. In this episode: More tools, more problems A gap in design Catching what slips through Competence over complexity A huge thanks to our sponsor, Native Security Native makes secure-by-design inherent to how the cloud operates. It's the control plane for built-in cloud security, unifying and governing native controls, so security intent is defined once and applied consistently across providers. Learn more at native.security.

In this episode, I reflect on a recent keynote I delivered in Singapore, exploring the shared challenges impacting teacher and student engagement. Drawing on Self-Determination Theory, I unpack the three psychological needs that drive motivation—autonomy, competence, and relatedness—and explain how these needs shape what we see as engagement in classrooms and schools. Too often, we treat engagement as a student issue, but teacher and student engagement are deeply interconnected and influenced by the same system-level conditions. I share practical examples to illustrate how rigid structures, one-size-fits-all design, and limited opportunities for connection can undermine motivation for both groups. If we want to reignite engagement, we have to move beyond compliance and intentionally design learning experiences that give both teachers and students a sense of control, confidence, and connection.

Every advisory firm has next generation leaders who execute brilliantly. They show up, manage complexity, free up founders, and keep the business running. But execution alone does not build a lasting firm. In this episode of Building the Billion Dollar Business, financial advisor coach Ray Sclafani draws a sharp and important line between execution and followership and makes the case that the question every next generation advisor needs to be asking is no longer "can I lead?" but "will people choose to follow me?"What you will learn in this episodeWhy there is a critical difference between execution and followership and why advisory firms that confuse the two stall their own successionWhat the Harvard Business Review's definition of followership means for next generation leaders in wealth managementWhy more than 80% of leaders fail to transition effectively into followership roles and what Korn Ferry research says about closing that gapThe three-step framework ClientWise uses to develop next generation leaders: declare, assess, and designWhy influence, not authority and not competence, is what actually defines followershipThe seven fundamental questions every advisory firm should use to assess whether their next generation leaders are truly building followershipHow improving followership qualities increases team engagement by more than 40% according to Korn FerryThe seven followership questions every advisory firm should be askingDo people trust the leader's intentions?Do people feel heard before decisions are made?Do people experience growth and development when around this leader?Do people see accountability when things go wrong?Do people feel the leader is advocating for them even when they are not around?Do people understand what the leader expects of them?Would people want to work for this leader again?The ClientWise Next Generation SeriesAt ClientWise, we are committed to helping firms keep the promise to always be there for their clients. We are equally committed to ensuring that founding and current owners can confidently transition firms to new owners and leaders who will continue their legacy. Achieving both of these aims requires specific and ongoing development of a partner / owner's mind and skill set. The ClientWise Next Generation Series™ is an ongoing series dedicated to that development and to every next generation successor becoming a remarkable owner and leader, ensuring that clients are taken care of and the legacy of accomplishment continues for each firm. Learn More!Building the Billion Dollar Business is hosted by Ray Sclafani, founder and CEO of ClientWise, the financial services industry's leading executive coaching and team development firm for elite advisors and wealth management teams.Find Ray and the ClientWise Team on the ClientWise website or LinkedIn | Twitter | Instagram | Facebook | YouTube

If you have to tell people how great you are… You're already losing. In this episode of The Level Up Podcast, Paul Alex breaks down the real difference between loud entrepreneurs and dominant ones—quiet confidence built through competence. Let's be real… Anyone can talk. Anyone can flex. Anyone can try to look successful. But the ones who actually win? They don't announce it. They prove it. In this episode, you'll learn: Why being loud on social media doesn't equal real authority How true confidence is built through execution, not validation Why your results should always speak louder than your words How building a strong track record turns clients into your best marketing Because the market doesn't reward noise… It rewards results. The strongest brands don't beg for attention. They earn respect through consistency, performance, and undeniable outcomes. When you focus on becoming elite… You don't need to convince anyone. They already know. Your Network is your NETWORTH! Make sure to add me on all SOCIAL MEDIA PLATFORMS: Instagram: https://jo.my/paulalex2024 Facebook: https://jo.my/fbpaulalex2024 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGhDAD1JyGGzSQUPD9lc9HQ LinkedIn: https://jo.my/inpaulalex2024 Looking for a secondary source of income or want to become an entrepreneur? Check out one of my companies below to see if we can help you: www.CashSwipe.com FREE Copy of my book “Blue to Digital Gold - The New American Dream”www.officialPaulAlex.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Introduction: Host Michael Rand starts with the sudden competence of the Twins, who have roughed up a couple of tough left-handed pitchers for Detroit to even their record at 6-6. Plus some interesting Lynx free agency developments. 8:00: La Velle E. Neal III joins for the weekly debate segment. In focus: Resting Anthony Edwards, a playoff format tweak and Taj Bradley. 31:00: Kirk Cousins got paid again and the Wild have a big game.

Both the Arsonist and the Fire Brigade, Trump Celebrates His Ceasefire Deal as "A Total Victory 100%" While Iran Says They Dealt the Enemy "A Crushing Defeat" | Questions of Trump's Competence, Morality, Credibility and Sanity Arise | The Cynical Tactics Big Money Now Uses to Attack Progressive Democratic Candidates backgroundbriefing.org/donate twitter.com/ianmastersmedia bsky.app/profile/ianmastersmedia.bsky.social linktr.ee/backgroundbriefing

I break down why being competent is not enough if there's no enforcement behind it. I've seen people with skill and talent still fail because they don't stay consistent or hold themselves to a standard. Competence is just the ability, but effectiveness is producing real results that actually matter. Without consequences, even high-level ability turns into unused potential. In this episode, I explain why I have to enforce standards, on myself and others, to turn skill into real outcomes. Show Notes: [04:57]#1 Competence without enforcement invites testing. [07:49]#2 Enforcement converts capability into outcome. [11:47]#3 People respond to consequence, not capability. [19:09] Recap Next Steps: --- Power Presence is not taught. It is enforced. If you are operating in environments where hesitation costs money, authority, or leverage, the Power Presence Mastermind exists as a controlled setting for discipline, execution, and consequence-based decision-making. Details live here: http://PowerPresenceProtocol.com/Mastermind  This Masterclass is the public record of standards. Private enforcement happens elsewhere. All episodes and the complete archive: → WorkOnYourGamePodcast.com