Podcasts about Competence

So many times children & adults with Autism level 3 are assumed to not understand directions simply because they don't follow them. Maybe it is a combination of apraxia and sensory processing disorder and we should presume competence EVEN IF that person cannot demonstrate it!

(0:00) Intro: The Right Order of Education for Children(1:21) What Sahil Adeem Would Do as Education Minister(2:12) Why the Education System Is Facing Multi-Organ Failure(3:08) Why the Developing Brain Needs Language First(6:29) Why the Curriculum Must Follow Brain Development(7:29) Why Children Should Not Start School Before Age Seven(9:23) Language, Mathematics, and Physics: The Natural Learning Order(10:38) Why Children Should Learn Three Languages Before Age Seven(11:38) Speaking vs. Reading and Writing(14:15) Arabic: The Greatest Gift for a Muslim Child(16:44) How to Teach Children to Read Naturally(18:04) Understanding Pakistan's Literacy Problem(20:18) Reading, Shapes, and Spatial Intelligence(20:33) The Handwriting Trick: Circles and Lines(22:54) Pattern Recognition vs. Memorization(24:11) The Six Types of Intelligence in Every Child(27:24) How Children Fall in Love With the Alphabet(28:32) Phonics vs. Direct Word Building(30:01) Dreams, Language, and Pictures in the Brain(33:25) How to Develop a Child's Love for Language(35:53) Simple Reading Activities for Children(37:34) Teaching Mathematics, Chemistry, and Biology(38:49) Social Sciences and Quranic Argumentation(40:12) Learning the Quran Through Clear Principles(50:00) Imam Al-Shafi'i and Deductive Thinking at Age Eleven(55:00) Dream Interpretation and Deductive Reasoning(1:00:00) Skill, Competence, and the Adhan Example(1:05:00) Developing an Islamic Worldview in Children(1:10:00) Physical Development and the Importance of Movement(1:15:00) Pets, Routines, and Practical Life Training(1:20:00) How Sports Build Courage and Teamwork(1:25:00) Homeschooling and the Meaning of Real Learning(1:30:00) Khudi, Leadership, and Personality Development(1:35:00) Parenting as a Process of Understanding Your Child(1:40:00) Physical, Emotional, Mental, and Spiritual Growth(1:45:00) Religious Rituals vs. Genuine Spirituality(1:50:00) Feeling the Pain of the Ummah and Global Responsibility(1:55:00) Fear-Based Parenting and the Loss of Trust(2:00:00) Fajr, Discipline, and Raising Strong Children(2:05:00) Mothers, Sons, and Independent Decision-Making(2:10:00) Overprotective Parenting and Trust in Allah's System(2:15:00) A Final Message to This Generation(2:20:00) Building a Muslim Worldview and Giving Children a Mission(2:24:44) Think Globally, Not Only About Pakistan(2:25:08) Closing Message: Think at the Level of the Ummah Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Summary Hybrid work isn't simply about where people are most productive. New research shows that working remotely tends to satisfy our need for autonomy, while office days strengthen our sense of connection, with both playing a vital role in sustaining motivation. Rather than debating attendance, effective leaders intentionally design office days for collaboration and relationship building, and remote days for focused, independent work.   Transcript Hello and welcome to episode 234 of the Leadership Today podcast, where each week we share practical tips to improve your leadership. This week we look at the hidden motivation trade-off in hybrid work. The debate about hybrid work often comes down to a single question: where are people most productive? Are they better off working from home or in the office? While that's an understandable question, new research suggests it may not be the most helpful one. Instead of asking where people work best, perhaps we should be asking which psychological needs are being met in each environment. A recent diary study published in the European Journal of Work and Organizational Psychology followed 187 employees over ten working days, collecting almost 3,000 daily observations. Rather than simply measuring productivity or job satisfaction, the researchers looked at three fundamental psychological needs identified in Self-Determination Theory: autonomy, competence and relatedness. Autonomy is our need to feel we have choice and control over our work. Competence is our need to feel capable and effective. Relatedness is our need to feel connected to other people. These three needs are important because they underpin high-quality motivation. When they're met, people are more likely to feel engaged, energised and willing to contribute. When they're frustrated, motivation tends to become more controlled, draining and less sustainable. The findings paint a much more nuanced picture of hybrid work than many headlines suggest. On remote workdays, employees experienced greater autonomy. They felt they had more control over how they structured their work and, importantly, they maintained their energy better throughout the day. The researchers found that this greater sense of autonomy was associated with lower declines in energy during the afternoon and evening. However, there was a trade-off. On office days, employees experienced greater relatedness. They felt more connected to the people around them. While office work didn't provide the same autonomy benefits, it did satisfy an equally important psychological need to belong. This suggests that the question isn't whether remote work is better than office work, or vice versa. Each environment appears to support different aspects of motivation. For leaders, this changes the conversation. Rather than arguing about how many days people should be in the office, we should be asking what each day is designed to achieve. If someone comes into the office simply to spend eight hours attending virtual meetings with headphones on, they've probably lost much of the autonomy of working from home without gaining the connection that office work can provide. Likewise, if someone works remotely every day without meaningful interaction, they may enjoy greater independence but gradually lose the sense of belonging that helps teams perform well over time. The best hybrid leaders think less about attendance and more about purpose. Office days should be designed around the activities that benefit most from human connection. Coaching conversations, creative problem-solving, mentoring, relationship building, onboarding new team members and tackling complex issues together are all likely to benefit from being face-to-face. Remote days, on the other hand, can be protected for focused work, thoughtful analysis, writing, planning and tasks that benefit from uninterrupted concentration and greater flexibility. This research also reminds us that motivation isn't like one bucket that we are either filling or depleting. Motivation is shaped by the environment leaders create. We influence motivation every time we decide how work is organised, how meetings are scheduled and how much choice people have over the way they complete their work. There are three practical areas you can consider this week. First, look at your team's calendar. Are office days genuinely designed around collaboration and connection, or are people simply working alone in a different location? Second, think about remote work. Are people given enough autonomy to benefit from working remotely, or have online meetings gradually filled every available hour? Finally, ask your team a simple question: "When do you feel most energised during your working week?" Their answers may tell you far more than another debate about office attendance. The key takeaway is that hybrid work isn't primarily a location challenge. It's a motivation design challenge. Remote work tends to support autonomy. Office work tends to support connection. Great leaders understand that both needs matter, and they intentionally design work so their people experience the benefits of each. As always the reference we used is in the show notes. If you did enjoy this episode, please take a few moments to rate and review it on your preferred podcast player - that helps others to find it. Have a great week.   Reference Olafsen, A. H., Kujanpää, M., Stenling, A., Tafvelin, S., & Bentzen, M. (2026). Daily need experiences across office and remote workdays. European Journal of Work and Organizational Psychology.     Leadership Today On-Demand Special Offer We have a great deal for podcast listeners on our Leadership Today On-Demand subscription. Just go to www.leadershiptoday.com and checkout using the promo code PODCAST for 25% off an annual subscription. Leadership Today On-Demand is a video subscription service that allows you to work on your leadership in your own time and at your own pace. It is available online and through our Apple iOS and Android apps for phones and tablets. Our mission is to help you to become an even better leader. Your subscription brings together all of our video content in one place including: - Five online courses with workbooks - Five five day challenges with workbooks - Nineteen recorded webinars - A searchable library of 170+ "how to" quick videos on a range of leadership challenges That's over $4,500 of content for less than the price of a single online course. And there are more videos added each week.   Get Connected Find out ways to get connected here: https://leadership.today/connect

The Name Above Every Name Conference Three The Broken Heart and the Descent into the Heart Learning to Stand Before God “The sacrifice acceptable to God is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, Thou wilt not despise.” — Psalm 51:17 There comes a moment in every authentic spiritual life when we discover that we cannot pray as we imagined we would. We begin with generous resolutions. We set aside time. We struggle to be faithful. We seek recollection. Yet gradually another discovery is made. The deepest obstacle to prayer is not distraction. It is ourselves. Not because we are evil. But because our hearts have become divided. Part of us longs for God. Another part clings to the world. Part of us desires silence. Another part fears it. Part of us seeks Christ. Another part still wishes to preserve itself. Prayer slowly uncovers this division. Not to discourage us. But to heal us. ⸻⸻⸻ Archimandrite Zacharias often says that the purpose of the spiritual life is not simply to become moral. It is to acquire a heart capable of standing before the living God. That is a very different thing. Many people imagine holiness as flawless behavior. The saints speak instead of relationship. A man may appear outwardly blameless while never allowing God near his heart. Another may come before God in tears, unable even to lift up his eyes, and return home justified. The difference is not perfection. It is truth. God can only fill the heart that has ceased pretending. ⸻⸻⸻ This is why repentance occupies such a central place in the Jesus Prayer. “Have mercy on me.” These words are not born of self-hatred. Nor are they the cry of someone obsessed with guilt. They are the language of love. 2 Only someone who has glimpsed the beauty of Christ can grieve over the ways he has turned from Him. Repentance is therefore not primarily looking at ourselves. It is looking at Christ. His light reveals everything. Not harshly. Tenderly. Like the rising sun that slowly illumines a valley still covered in morning mist. Nothing is forced. Everything is revealed in love. ⸻⸻⸻ The Fathers distinguish between remorse and repentance. Remorse circles endlessly around itself. Repentance turns toward God. Remorse says, “I have failed.” Repentance says, “Lord, have mercy.” Remorse ends in discouragement. Repentance opens the door to hope. This distinction is essential. Many sincere Christians carry burdens Christ never asked them to carry. 3 They believe continual self-accusation is humility. It is not. True humility forgets itself because it has become absorbed in Christ. The humble man knows his poverty. But he knows God's mercy even more. ⸻⸻⸻ Archimandrite Zacharias writes often about standing before God. This expression appears again and again. It is wonderfully simple. Prayer is not first speaking. Nor thinking. Nor even feeling. Prayer is standing. Standing before the Face of Christ. Standing in truth. Standing in poverty. Standing in hope. Everything else gradually unfolds from this. Sometimes words disappear. Sometimes thoughts become quiet. Sometimes only tears remain. 4 The Fathers are not disturbed by this. The heart has begun to speak. ⸻⸻⸻ One of the greatest gifts God grants us is the knowledge of our own weakness. Strangely, we usually resist this gift. We prefer strength. Competence. Success. Spiritual progress. God often gives something different. He allows us to encounter ourselves. Not to humiliate us. But to make us truthful. Without this knowledge, compassion remains shallow. We judge others because we have never seen ourselves. Once we have stood honestly before God, judgment becomes almost impossible. We recognize the same poverty within ourselves. And mercy begins to flow naturally. ⸻⸻⸻ The publican in the Temple becomes the icon of this prayer. He possesses nothing. No arguments. 5 No achievements. No excuses. He simply stands. “God, be merciful to me.” Nothing more. The Fathers never tire of returning to this image because it reveals the true posture of prayer. The Kingdom belongs to those who have nothing left except God. ⸻⸻⸻ There is another mystery hidden here. As repentance deepens, the heart begins to enlarge. This seems impossible. One might imagine continual repentance making a person smaller. The opposite occurs. Pride narrows the heart. Humility expands it. The more we stand honestly before Christ, the more room He creates within us. We begin to carry others. Their grief no longer feels foreign. Their wounds become our concern. Prayer quietly widens until it embraces the whole Adam. This is why the saints wept. 6 Not because they despaired. But because their hearts had become vast. ⸻⸻⸻ Archimandrite Zacharias frequently speaks of bearing shame. This language can trouble modern ears. Yet he uses it with profound care. The shame he describes is not humiliation inflicted by others. Nor is it psychological self-contempt. It is the willingness to stand before God without hiding. Adam covered himself. The saints uncover themselves before Christ. Nothing remains concealed. Nothing defended. Nothing explained away. And because everything is brought into the light, everything becomes capable of healing. The heart finally stops fleeing. It remains. ⸻⸻⸻ This is perhaps the deepest work of the Jesus Prayer. Not continual repetition. Continual return. 7 Every invocation is another act of trust. Another refusal to hide. Another opening of the heart. The prayer slowly becomes the place where Christ and the soul meet. No visions are required. No extraordinary experiences. Only faithfulness. Day after day. Year after year. Until standing before Christ becomes more natural than standing before ourselves. ⸻⸻⸻ There comes a point when prayer grows wonderfully simple. The words become fewer. The heart quieter. Silence itself begins to speak. This is not emptiness. It is fullness. The Presence for which words were preparing us has quietly arrived. The Fathers never encourage us to seek such moments. They teach us simply to remain faithful. Grace knows its own time. The flower does not open because we command it. 8 It opens because spring has come. So too the heart. ⸻⸻⸻ Perhaps this is the greatest lesson Archimandrite Zacharias offers us. The Jesus Prayer is not given so that we may become experts in prayer. It is given so that we may become truthful before God. The heart that continually cries, “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me,” gradually loses the need to defend itself. It no longer fears weakness. It no longer hides failure. It no longer seeks admiration. It desires only to remain before Christ. And this is already the beginning of heaven. For heaven is nothing other than the soul standing unveiled before the Face of the One who has loved it from all eternity. As we leave this conference, let us ask for only one grace. Not extraordinary prayer. Not lofty experiences. Simply the courage to remain before Christ without masks. To allow His light to reveal us. To allow His mercy to heal us. 9 To allow His love to enlarge our hearts until they become capable of bearing both our own poverty and the suffering of the whole world. For this is the hidden work of the holy Name. It leads us, not away from ourselves, but through the truth of ourselves into the inexhaustible mercy of God. 10

Send us Fan MailIf you've ever wondered why some calls escalate fast while others calm down in minutes, the answer usually isn't “more force” or “better scripts.” It's the human skill that gets trained the least and judged the most: how we talk to people when they're at their worst.I'm joined by Liana Lucine, a former Metropolitan Police officer in London with 18 years on the job and deep experience as a police trainer. We get honest about what frontline policing looks like beyond the clichés, including her time working vice and dealing with street prostitution tied to crack and heroin addiction. That opens a bigger conversation about harm reduction, diversion, and why rehab can't be a standalone fix if someone goes back to the same environment without housing, support, or safe relationships.From there, we dig into the internal pressures that wear officers down: constant criticism, endless paperwork, lack of resources, and the quiet damage of feeling unsupported by leadership. Liana shares why she sees this in the training rooms and why many officers are so guarded they expect to be told off before they're taught anything. We also break down de-escalation and why listening often works better than dominating, especially when someone is in crisis and you need compliance without a fight.We close with a reset on resilience. It isn't a badge you earn once. It's situational, learnable, and easier to build when we don't turn our job or our diagnosis into our entire identity. If you want practical ideas for first responder mental health, police communication skills, and resilience training that actually fits real life, hit play, subscribe, share this with a teammate, and leave a review so more people can find the show.Buy her book at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0GZDWFTG8?lv=shuf&channelId=500&plpRedirect=mhFallbackYou can find her on her website at https://lucinetraining.co.uk or YouTube at https://www.youtube.com/@LucineTraining and on Instagram at  https://www.instagram.com/lucinetraining/Support the showYouTube Channel For The Podcast

Allt fler oinbjudna besökare tar sig in i våra hem. Lyssna på alla avsnitt i Sveriges Radios app. Skadedjur har alltid krupit vid människans sida. Forskare tror att de blodtörstiga vägglössen fanns redan i stenålderns grottboningar. Genom historien har olika typer av ohyra inte bara gett oss kliande bett och förstört våra matförråd, utan också orsakat några av mänsklighetens mest förödande sjukdomsepidemier.Under några decennier på 1900-talet, när en rad nya och kraftfulla bekämpningsmedel gjorde entré, såg det ut som att människan äntligen höll på att vinna den tusenåriga kampen mot krypen.Men segervittringen blev kortvarig. Skadedjuren är tillbaka. De blir fler, de sprider sig till nya platser – och de har blivit allt svårare att bekämpa.Programledare och producent: Anna Lillkung och Wendela AntepohlOrdlistaVektor – en organism, till exempel en råtta eller en kackerlacka, som för över smittämnen mellan varelser.Patogen – ett sjukdomsframkallande smittämne, till exempel ett virus eller en bakterie.Mikrob – en organism som är så liten att den inte syns med blotta ögat, till exempel ett virus eller en bakterie.Resistens – en organisms förmåga att stå emot yttre påfrestningar, till exempel en bakterie som utvecklat motståndskraft mot en eller flera typer av antibiotika.KällförteckningMedverkandeThomas Persson Vinnersten – Biolog och entomolog på AnticimexLisa Sarasohn – Historiker och författare till Getting Under Our Skin: The Cultural and Social History of VerminBobby Corrigan – Skadedjursbiolog med fokus på gnagareÅke Lundkvist – Professor i virologi vid Uppsala universitetTuomas Aivelo – Assisterande professor i biodiversitet och samhälle vid Leiden University i Nederländerna och grundare till Helsinki Urban Rat ProjectJose Pietri – Docent i mikrobiologi och entomologi vid Purdue UniversityBöckerGetting Under Our Skin: The Cultural and Social History of Vermin (Lisa T. Sarasohn, 2021)Rats : A Year With New York's Most Unwanted Inhabitants (Robert Sullivan, 2004)Plagues, Poisons, and Dead Rats: A Multispecies History (Lucinda Cole, ur boken The Palgrave Handbook of Animals and Literature, 2020)Never Home Alone (Rob Dunn, 2020)Artiklar/källor i urvalSkadedjur i byggnader – en kunskapssammanställning (Malmö universitet på uppdrag av Boverket, 2025)Challenges in current pest management practices: Navigating problems and a way forward by integrating controlled release system approach (Singh et al., Chemical Engineering Journal, 2024)How pest control has changed in 100 years (Rentokil, 2025)Studie: Myror lika bra som gifter mot skadedjur (SvD, 2022)“They're always there”: resident experiences of living with rats in a disadvantaged urban neighbourhood (BMC Public Health, 2019)Increasing rat numbers in cities are linked to climate warming, urbanization, and human population (Science Advances, 2025)Reconsidering the “War on Rats”: What We Know From Over a Century of Research Into Municipal Rat Management (Corrigan, Himsworth, Byers, m.fl, Frontiers in Ecology and Evolution, 2022)Surveillance of Emerging Rodent-Borne Pathogens in Wastewater in Taiwan: A One Health Approach (Tropical Medicine and Infectious Disease, 2024)Bedbugs Could Be More Horrifying Than You Think. They might be capable of spreading disease, recent research shows. (The Atlantic, 2024)Anticoagulant rodenticides and resistance development in rodent pest species – A comprehensive review (Journal of Stored Products Research, 2020)Public Health Significance of Urban Pests (World Health Organization, 2008)Rodenticide Toxicity (StatPearls Publishing, 2026)Increasing rat numbers in cities are linked to climate warming, urbanization, and human population (ScienceAdvances, 2025)Public and media interest in bed bugs – Europe 2023 (Current Research in Insect Science, 2024)Large-scale structure of brown rat (Rattus norvegicus) populations in England: effects on rodenticide resistance (PeerJ, 2015)”Hysterisk” ökning av klädesmal (Sveriges Radio, 2015)Second hand–trend bidrar till att fler har problem med pälsmal i hemmen: ”Var extra noga om du köper möbler” (Smålandsposten, 2023)De äter på mattor och kläder – så blir du av med klädmal (Göteborgs-Posten, 2024)Revenge of the clothes moths: as numbers boom, can they be stopped? (The Guardian, 2019)High prevalence of hepatitis E and rat hepatitis E viruses in wastewater in Gothenburg, Sweden (One Health, 2024)Lessons learned from bat and rodent reservoir hosts of zoonotic viruses (Trends in microbiology, 2026)Human ectoparasites and the spread of plague in Europe during the Second Pandemic (Proc Natl Acad Sci U S A, 2018)Yersinia pestis: the Natural History of Plague (Clinical Microbiology Reviews, 2020)Disruption of the microbiota affects physiological and evolutionary aspects of insecticide resistance in the German cockroach, an important urban pest (PloS one, 2018)Case not closed: arguments for new studies of the interactions between bed bugs and human pathogens (The American Journal of Tropical Medicine and Hygiene, 2020)Microbiome differences between human head and body lice ecotypes revealed by 16S RRNA gene amplicon sequencing (The Journal of Parasitology, 2020)Do bed bugs transmit human viruses, or do humans spread bed bugs and their viruses? A worldwide survey of the bed bug RNA virosphere (Virus Research, 2024)Competence of Cimex lectularius Bed Bugs for the Transmission of Bartonella quintana, the Agent of Trench Fever (PLoS Negl Trop Dis., 2015)Ratmageddon: Why rats are overrunning our cities (BBC, 2025)‘Perfect rat storm': urban rodent numbers soar as the climate heats, study finds (The Guardian, 2025)Global population divergence and admixture of the brown rat (Rattus norvegicus) (Biological Sciences, 2016)Highly Pathogenic Leptospira Found in Urban Brown Rats (Rattus norvegicus) in the Largest Cities of Sweden. (Vector Borne and Zoonotic Disease, 2015)First evidence of Seoul hantavirus in the wild rat population in the Netherlands (Infection Ecology & Epidemiology, 2015)Pet rat harbouring Seoul hantavirus in Sweden (Eurosurveillence, 2013)Seoul Hantavirus Frequently Asked Questions (Wisconsin department of health services)Leptospira Status in Sweden during the Past Century, Neglected and Re-Emerging? (Microorganisms, 2023)Bed bug infestations: prevalence, correlates, and cross-sectional association with psychological symptoms in a large sample of tenants in Montreal, Canada (BMC Public Health, 2025)Anticimex: Trendbrott för vägglöss – 19 procent fler saneringar 2025 (Anticimex, 2026)Rats infest Gaza's tent camps, biting children and spreading disease (Reuters, 2026)Reconsidering the “War on Rats”: What We Know From Over a Century of Research Into Municipal Rat Management (Frontiers in ecology and evolution, 2022)Cockroaches as urban pests: Challenges, public health implications, and management strategies (One Health, 2026)HURP: Helsinki Urban Rat ProjectHow did the cruise ship hantavirus outbreak start? Scientists are investigating new scenarios (Science, 2026)A timeline of the hantavirus outbreak on cruise ship (AP, 2026)Hantavirus outbreak linked to cruise ship travel, Multi-locations (World Health Organization, 2026)Sjukdomsinformation om hantavirusinfektion (Folkhälsomyndigheten)Mjölbaggar erövrar studentboendet: ”Inte mitt hem längre” (SVT, 2025)Silent Carriers: The Role of Rodents in the Emergence of Zoonotic Bacterial Threats (Pathogens, 2025)8 av 10 stockholmare har sett råttor (Anticimex, 2019)Silverfiskar vanligast men inte så farliga (Hem & Hyra, 2017)MusikGeoff Barrow, Ben Salisbury – Dream RealityCristobal Tapia De Veer – Pain SpeedballKid Loco – Theme from the Graffiti ArtistMarcus Bagalà – Duco in Mara's RoomCliff Martinez – I'm in the PinkMarcus Bagalà – Frets: Problem, After ProblemMartin D Fowler – 1 Ships VIIRamin Djawadi – Winter is ComingAlberto Iglesias – TreasureCliff Martinez – Save Some For UsJocelyn Pook – Driving to PrisonCliff Martinez – I'm SickAlice Cooper – PoisonCliff Martinez – Placental RepairJessica Dannheisser, Adele Roberts – Parade of the GeeseCliff Martinez – Speight Lived HereOchre – Midsummer Nice DreamMarcus Bagalà – Wires: WinchimesMichael Andrews – Peter and SylvieK2 – Bexar BexarCliff Martinez – Navy FuneralMike Patton – Murder is WorkMartin D Fowler – 1 Ships XIITrent Reznor, Atticus Ross – Empty Places (Reprise)Cliff Martinez – Same SweatpantsCristobal Tapia De Veer – The PublicJeff Beal – I think I Smell GasTrentemöller – Take Me Into Your SkinTrent Reznor, Atticus Ross – Clue OneKyle Dixon, Michael Stein – ElevenStar Hopper – Through the HeliopausePaul Leonard-Morgan – Anderson's ThemeMartin D Fowler – 1 Ships IIIJon Brion – You LearnThe Mariachis – La Cucaracha

Most people remember The Three Little Pigs as a story about the Big Bad Wolf. But what if the wolf was never the point? On this episode of the 5-Tool Firefighter Podcast, Nick explore's the deeper lesson behind the timeless tale and how it applies to the fire service. Through the lens of the 5 Tools—Integrity, Competence, Fitness, Relationships, and Leadership—we discuss why success is built one brick at a time and how preparation, discipline, and consistency create a foundation that can withstand adversity. The fireground doesn't create strengths or weaknesses—it reveals them. The question is: What are you building today?

Sara (Mills) Kerr is a firefighter with Fire and Rescue New South Wales and a PhD candidate at the University of Newcastle, researching the trustworthiness of AI-generated information in disaster and emergency management decision-making. Before the fire service, she worked as an e-commerce data analyst, until Australia's 2019/2020 Black Summer bushfires redirected her path. Instead of returning to her normal work, she entered the Emergency Services Academy.Harry and Sara talk about what fourteen weeks at the Academy built in her, and what it didn't. They get into why "overthinking" is often mislabeled: vigilance is a protective mechanism, not a weakness, and only becomes a problem when it overwhelms rather than informs.That gap between training and readiness eventually pointed Sara toward research into AI and disaster management, and eventually the PhD. AI, in her framing, is a cognitive aid that should enhance operator judgment, never replace it. She's also recruiting participants for that research - anyone using AI operationally in Australian disaster and emergency management, frontline or otherwise is invited to reach out to Harry for a connection: harry@missioncti.com.Their conversation also covered how why diversity strengthens a team's shared operating picture, and Sara walks through her Inner Command framework she built out of her own early struggles and the framework's 5 C's: Calm, Control, Competence, Confidence, Courage.Advice for Monday: weaponize your vigilance, and give yourself credit for what you do well.If you found value in this discussion, the best way to support our work and stay up to date on future episodes is to subscribe and leave us a quick rating or review. It helps us reach more people who need to hear these conversations.

Views and News with Clarence Ford is the mid-morning show on CapeTalk. This 3-hour long programme shares and reflects a broad array of perspectives. It is inspirational, passionate and positive. Host Clarence Ford’s gentle curiosity and dapper demeanour leave listeners feeling motivated and empowered. Known for his love of jazz and golf, Clarrie covers a range of themes including relationships, heritage and philosophy. Popular segments include Barbs’ Wire at 9:30am (Mon-Thurs) and The Naked Scientist at 9:30 on Fridays. Thank you for listening to a podcast from Views & News with Clarence Ford Listen live on Primedia+ weekdays between 09:00 and 12:00 (SA Time) to Views and News with Clarence Ford broadcast on CapeTalk https://buff.ly/NnFM3Nk For more from the show go to https://buff.ly/erjiQj2 or find all the catch-up podcasts here https://buff.ly/BdpaXRn Subscribe to the CapeTalk Daily and Weekly Newsletters https://buff.ly/sbvVZD5 Follow us on social media: CapeTalk on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CapeTalk CapeTalk on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@capetalk CapeTalk on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ CapeTalk on X: https://x.com/CapeTalk CapeTalk on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@CapeTalk567See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Send us Fan MailYou can be the most dependable person in the room and still be quietly falling apart.Many mid-career professionals have built their reputations by being capable, responsive, and willing to solve difficult problems. But when you become the person everyone relies on, your competence can turn into a trap. More work comes your way, other people's emergencies become your responsibility, and saying yes becomes almost automatic.In this episode of The Mid-Career GPS Podcast, I sit down with Tammie Calys, executive reinvention architect and founder of Next Level Me, to discuss what she calls the curse of competence.After decades of leading corporate strategy and large-scale organizational change, Tammie learned a dangerous truth: high-achieving leaders are often excellent at mitigating risk for their organizations while ignoring the risks to their own capacity, health, relationships, and careers.We explore the fear, uncertainty, and guilt many mid-career professionals are experiencing in the 2026 job market. You may want a new job or career change, but feel guilty pursuing something better while colleagues are being laid off or displaced. You may also be staying in an unhealthy situation because the uncertainty of leaving feels more frightening than the cost of remaining.Tammie explains how high performers become the default solution for every workplace problem and why being dependable does not mean you must absorb every new responsibility. She also shares specific boundary-setting scripts that allow you to protect your time and capacity without damaging trust or appearing uncooperative.You will learn how to use a 24-hour pause to interrupt the reflexive yes, initiate a trade-off conversation that forces meaningful prioritization, and offer alternative solutions without taking ownership of the entire problem.We also discuss the early warning signs of silent cracking, including phantom presence, when you are physically with the people you care about but remain mentally consumed by work. Tammie explains why remote and hybrid professionals need a deliberate workday shutdown ritual and a transition bridge that helps them move from professional responsibilities into their personal lives.This conversation is not simply about saying no. It is about leading yourself more intentionally, protecting your professional capacity, and making career decisions before you reach a breaking point.In This Episode, You Will Learn:• Why fear and guilt in the 2026 job market keep mid-career professionals stuck• How the curse of competence turns top performers into the default fix for every problem• A 24-hour pause script that prevents an automatic yes• Three ways to say no while remaining supportive and collaborative• How to use trade-off conversations to help leaders establish real priorities• Why microhabits and evidence from your own history can strengthen your confidence• How silent cracking and phantom presence affect your personal relationships• How to create a workday shutdown ritual for remote and hybrid work• Why knowing your north star is essential for career clarity and professional reinvention• How to advocate for yourself before exhaustion, resentment, or burnout forces a decisionYour job may feel secure today, but that does not mean you should leave your career direction entirely in someone else's hands. Knowing your values, strengths, boundaries, and professional north star helps you make intentional decisions instead of waiting for a crisis.If this episode helps you recognize where your competence may be working against you, subscribe to The Mid-Career GPS Podcast and share this conversation with a colleague who needs stronger workplace boundaries. You can also leave a rating and review to help more mid-career leaders discover the show.Connect With Tammie CalysConnect with Tammie and send her the word “boundaries” to receive the two boundary-setting resources discussed in this episode.Remember, how you SHOW UP matters.Connect with Tammie Calys: Website | LinkedInFree Resource #1: The Emergency Boundary Swipe File (3 scripts to push back professionally): https://gift.nextlvlme.com/emergency-boundary-swipeFree Resource #2: The 3-Step Workday Shutdown (How to leave work at work): https://gift.nextlvlme.com/3-step-workday-shut-downSupport the showIf this episode resonated with you and you want more support in how you SHOW UP for your career and life, there are two ways we can work together.Learn more about my SHOW UP Leadership Lab, my monthly membership program, at https://www.johnneral.com/showupIf you would like to learn more about how I can help you as your leadership and career coach, visit https://www.johnneral.com/workwithme.Get John's free weekly leadership and career newsletter at https://www.johnneral.com/the-mid-career-gps-newsletterOther ways we can connect:Connect with John on LinkedIn here.Get John's books on Amazon here.  Follow John on Instagram @johnneralcoaching. Subscribe to John's YouTube Channel here.  Please leave a rating and review on Apple Podcasts here.This podcast is listed in Feedspot's Top 90 Best Executive Career Podcasts.https://podcast.feedspot.com/executive_career_podcasts/

Why do morally good people often hesitate to change other people's minds, viewing persuasion as presumptuous, obnoxious, or downright creepy? The University of Washington's professor of philosophy, Dr. Colin Marshall, joins host PJ Wehry to discuss how to successfully bridge deep divides in our highly polarized climate.Dr. Marshall explores the ethics and psychology of civil persuasion in his book, Just Hear Me Out: How to Change Minds Without Lies, Bullshit, or Moral Compromise. They examine how genuine persuasion isn't about manipulation or aggressive takedowns , but rather requires a delicate balance of respect, compassion, and the right environment.In this conversation they explore: Why the fallout of the 2016 US presidential election pushed Dr. Marshall from pure theoretical philosophy into finding practical tools for civil engagement. The crucial difference between manipulative persuasion—where people are treated as obstacles to maneuver—and civil persuasion that honors a person's complete humanity. How combining Immanuel Kant's emphasis on rational respect with Arthur Schopenhauer's focus on deep compassion creates a coherent framework for changing minds. Why attempting to persuade someone at the Thanksgiving table almost always fails, and the importance of establishing an "attention-friendly context" like grabbing a coffee or a beer. Incredible real-world examples of successful persuasion, including Daryl Davis persuading extremists to leave the KKK and Megan Phelps-Roper leaving the Westboro Baptist Church after patient, charitable interactions on Twitter. The concept of "moral myopia"—the deeply human tendency to become so hyper-focused on one moral issue or our own self-respect that we lose sight of the other person's bandwidth and feelings. The psychology of building trust, and why establishing warmth and shared humanity must always come before proving your intellectual competence. This is a conversation for anyone interested in philosophy, psychology, and healthy communication who wants to understand how to sincerely navigate our modern disagreements without sacrificing their own moral integrity.Make sure to check out Dr. Marshall's book: Just Hear Me Out: How to Change Minds without Lies, Bullshit, or Moral Compromise

What do we do when the racing season ends? Put our feet up and chill out? And lose all that hard earned fitness? Not this time.TRANSCRIPTWhat do you do when your race season is over?I've been asking myself that question all week.For almost an entire year, my life revolved around one goal: qualify for the World Championships.Six days a week I trained. Every workout had a purpose. Every interval session, every endurance ride, every swim, every run—it all pointed toward one day on the calendar.When my alarm went off at 6:00 a.m., I didn't have to negotiate with myself. I knew why I was getting up.There was no debate.The goal made the decision for me.And after nearly a year of consistent training...I qualified.It was one of the most satisfying athletic achievements of my life.Then, because I'm human—and because my ego wasn't quite finished—I signed up for one more race.I wanted to prove to myself that qualifying wasn't a fluke.Fortunately, that race went well too.Mission accomplished.And now...The triathlon season around here is over.So now what?For years, I've handled the offseason the same way.I take the entire month of August off.No structured training.No TrainerRoad.No worrying about fitness.I sleep in.Go for casual rides.Eat a little more.Enjoy life.Honestly...It's wonderful.I think every athlete deserves periods of genuine recovery.The body needs it.The mind definitely needs it.But over the years I've noticed something.Recovery quietly turns into detraining.By September my FTP has usually dropped about thirty watts.Thirty watts doesn't sound dramatic.But here's what I've learned.The problem isn't losing thirty watts.The problem is how long it takes to earn them back.Every autumn I spend two or three months simply returning to where I was before I stopped training.Only then can I begin building new fitness.It's like climbing halfway up a mountain, hiking back down to the parking lot, and then spending weeks just getting back to the place where you turned around.This year...I don't want to do that.Instead, I'm going to experiment.Rather than stopping completely, I'm going to shift into what I'd call a maintenance phase.Just three rides each week.One longer endurance ride.Two quality sessions—threshold or VO₂ max work.The objective isn't to improve.The objective is simply to hold onto as much fitness as I reasonably can while giving both my body and mind a chance to recover.It sounds simple.But psychologically...It's proving much harder than I expected.I just got back from a five-day cycling trip with friends.And I say "cycling" in quotation marks because we were riding e-bikes at a wonderfully relaxed pace.Before I go any further, let me just say this...Seattle is an incredible cycling city.Bike lanes everywhere.Protected paths through parks.Trails beside rivers.Routes along the ocean.It feels like a city designed by people who actually ride bikes.If you've never cycled there, I highly recommend it.But once I got home...Reality hit.Only one week has passed since my last race.One week.And already I feel...Less motivated.Less fit.Which is funny because physiologically I probably haven't lost very much fitness at all.Fitness doesn't disappear in seven days.Research on endurance athletes consistently shows that most aerobic adaptations are remarkably resilient over short breaks. You may notice your legs feel a little flat, but meaningful losses in aerobic capacity and threshold power usually take several weeks—not several days—to develop.So if my body hasn't changed very much...Why do I already feel different?I think the answer has very little to do with physiology.I think it has everything to do with purpose.Sports psychologists often talk about the power of goal-directed behavior. Clear goals don't just tell us what to do—they organize our attention, our habits, and even our identity. When we know why we're training, our brains spend far less energy debating whether we should train.Motivation isn't something we magically possess.It's something our goals create.There's another concept in psychology called Self-Determination Theory. It suggests that people stay motivated when three basic psychological needs are being met: autonomy, competence, and relatedness.Autonomy means we feel we're choosing our actions.Competence means we feel ourselves improving.Relatedness means we feel connected to other people through what we're doing.During race season, triathlon checks every one of those boxes.I choose to train.Every workout gives me evidence that I'm improving.And every race connects me to a community of people pursuing similar goals.Then suddenly...The season ends.The races disappear.The training plan ends.The improvements become harder to measure.And without realizing it, one or more of those psychological needs begins to fade.No wonder motivation feels different.I don't think I'm losing discipline.I think I've temporarily lost direction.Last week I knew exactly who I was.I was someone trying to qualify for Worlds.Today...I'm just a guy standing in the garage wondering if I really need to ride the trainer tonight.That identity shift is surprisingly unsettling.I suspect many athletes experience this after a major goal.Maybe runners after a marathon.Cyclists after a gran fondo.Parents after their kids leave home.Professionals after retirement.When a chapter ends, we're left asking a surprisingly uncomfortable question:"Who am I now?"Maybe that's the real challenge of the offseason.Not maintaining fitness.Maintaining purpose.I've been thinking a lot about how to solve that.And I don't think the answer is to immediately find another massive goal.I think it's smaller than that.I think I simply need a plan.Not a vague intention.A written plan.For the next couple of months that means maintenance riding, a few local 10K races just for fun, and volunteering at some triathlon events so I stay connected to the community.After that...I'll begin building my roadmap toward next year's World Championships.But this time I want to do something I've never really done before.I'm going to write the entire thing out.The milestones.The training blocks.The recovery periods.The races.Everything.Because visible plans reduce decision fatigue.When the workout is already on paper, you don't wake up asking, "Should I train today?"You simply execute the next step.That's what goals do.They remove uncertainty.They replace motivation with routine.And maybe that's the lesson I'm learning this week.Purpose isn't something that accidentally appears.It's something we intentionally build.When one season ends, another one doesn't magically begin.We have to create it.So that's my project this week.Not increasing my FTP.Not becoming fitter.Simply creating enough structure that, when September arrives, I haven't lost the fitness—or the sense of purpose—that took an entire year to build.I'll let you know how it goes.Until next time...Peace.

What do we do when the racing season ends? Put our feet up and chill out? And lose all that hard earned fitness? Not this time.Come join the fun at www.patreon.com/thelonelytriathleteTRANSCRIPTWhat do you do when your race season is over?I've been asking myself that question all week.For almost an entire year, my life revolved around one goal: qualify for the World Championships.Six days a week I trained. Every workout had a purpose. Every interval session, every endurance ride, every swim, every run—it all pointed toward one day on the calendar.When my alarm went off at 6:00 a.m., I didn't have to negotiate with myself. I knew why I was getting up.There was no debate.The goal made the decision for me.And after nearly a year of consistent training...I qualified.It was one of the most satisfying athletic achievements of my life.Then, because I'm human—and because my ego wasn't quite finished—I signed up for one more race.I wanted to prove to myself that qualifying wasn't a fluke.Fortunately, that race went well too.Mission accomplished.And now...The triathlon season around here is over.So now what?For years, I've handled the offseason the same way.I take the entire month of August off.No structured training.No TrainerRoad.No worrying about fitness.I sleep in.Go for casual rides.Eat a little more.Enjoy life.Honestly...It's wonderful.I think every athlete deserves periods of genuine recovery.The body needs it.The mind definitely needs it.But over the years I've noticed something.Recovery quietly turns into detraining.By September my FTP has usually dropped about thirty watts.Thirty watts doesn't sound dramatic.But here's what I've learned.The problem isn't losing thirty watts.The problem is how long it takes to earn them back.Every autumn I spend two or three months simply returning to where I was before I stopped training.Only then can I begin building new fitness.It's like climbing halfway up a mountain, hiking back down to the parking lot, and then spending weeks just getting back to the place where you turned around.This year...I don't want to do that.Instead, I'm going to experiment.Rather than stopping completely, I'm going to shift into what I'd call a maintenance phase.Just three rides each week.One longer endurance ride.Two quality sessions—threshold or VO₂ max work.The objective isn't to improve.The objective is simply to hold onto as much fitness as I reasonably can while giving both my body and mind a chance to recover.It sounds simple.But psychologically...It's proving much harder than I expected.I just got back from a five-day cycling trip with friends.And I say "cycling" in quotation marks because we were riding e-bikes at a wonderfully relaxed pace.Before I go any further, let me just say this...Seattle is an incredible cycling city.Bike lanes everywhere.Protected paths through parks.Trails beside rivers.Routes along the ocean.It feels like a city designed by people who actually ride bikes.If you've never cycled there, I highly recommend it.But once I got home...Reality hit.Only one week has passed since my last race.One week.And already I feel...Less motivated.Less fit.Which is funny because physiologically I probably haven't lost very much fitness at all.Fitness doesn't disappear in seven days.Research on endurance athletes consistently shows that most aerobic adaptations are remarkably resilient over short breaks. You may notice your legs feel a little flat, but meaningful losses in aerobic capacity and threshold power usually take several weeks—not several days—to develop.So if my body hasn't changed very much...Why do I already feel different?I think the answer has very little to do with physiology.I think it has everything to do with purpose.Sports psychologists often talk about the power of goal-directed behavior. Clear goals don't just tell us what to do—they organize our attention, our habits, and even our identity. When we know why we're training, our brains spend far less energy debating whether we should train.Motivation isn't something we magically possess.It's something our goals create.There's another concept in psychology called Self-Determination Theory. It suggests that people stay motivated when three basic psychological needs are being met: autonomy, competence, and relatedness.Autonomy means we feel we're choosing our actions.Competence means we feel ourselves improving.Relatedness means we feel connected to other people through what we're doing.During race season, triathlon checks every one of those boxes.I choose to train.Every workout gives me evidence that I'm improving.And every race connects me to a community of people pursuing similar goals.Then suddenly...The season ends.The races disappear.The training plan ends.The improvements become harder to measure.And without realizing it, one or more of those psychological needs begins to fade.No wonder motivation feels different.I don't think I'm losing discipline.I think I've temporarily lost direction.Last week I knew exactly who I was.I was someone trying to qualify for Worlds.Today...I'm just a guy standing in the garage wondering if I really need to ride the trainer tonight.That identity shift is surprisingly unsettling.I suspect many athletes experience this after a major goal.Maybe runners after a marathon.Cyclists after a gran fondo.Parents after their kids leave home.Professionals after retirement.When a chapter ends, we're left asking a surprisingly uncomfortable question:"Who am I now?"Maybe that's the real challenge of the offseason.Not maintaining fitness.Maintaining purpose.I've been thinking a lot about how to solve that.And I don't think the answer is to immediately find another massive goal.I think it's smaller than that.I think I simply need a plan.Not a vague intention.A written plan.For the next couple of months that means maintenance riding, a few local 10K races just for fun, and volunteering at some triathlon events so I stay connected to the community.After that...I'll begin building my roadmap toward next year's World Championships.But this time I want to do something I've never really done before.I'm going to write the entire thing out.The milestones.The training blocks.The recovery periods.The races.Everything.Because visible plans reduce decision fatigue.When the workout is already on paper, you don't wake up asking, "Should I train today?"You simply execute the next step.That's what goals do.They remove uncertainty.They replace motivation with routine.And maybe that's the lesson I'm learning this week.Purpose isn't something that accidentally appears.It's something we intentionally build.When one season ends, another one doesn't magically begin.We have to create it.So that's my project this week.Not increasing my FTP.Not becoming fitter.Simply creating enough structure that, when September arrives, I haven't lost the fitness—or the sense of purpose—that took an entire year to build.I'll let you know how it goes.Until next time...Peace.

Big Idea: I don't need more competence or confidence- God's presence is enough.2 Timothy 1:7For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but one of power, love, and sound judgment.I. Let sound judgment guide your decisionsProverbs 3:5-6Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not rely on your own understanding; in all your ways know him, and he will make your paths straight.II. Let Jesus's power back up your abilitiesIsaiah 40:29He gives strength to the faint and strengthens the powerless.III. Let God's love define your worth1 Peter 2:9-10But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his possession, so that you may proclaim the praises of the one who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light. Once you were not a people, but now you are God's people; you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy.Next Steps: Believe: I surrender my soul to Jesus today.Become: I will let only Jesus's sacrifice define my worth this week.Be Sent: I will proclaim Jesus's praises this week.Discussion Questions: When was the last big decision you struggled with? How certain were you that you got it right?When was the last big challenge you overcame? Did you give God credit?When did you last fail a big challenge? How did it affect your self-worth?What is consistently trying to define your self-worth this week?Where do you need God's power most this week?How confident are you in sharing your faith?Pray for God to use you to call someone out of darkness this week.

Turns out the sexiest things aren't always sexual. In this episode of Come Curious, we're diving into the unexpected, surprising, and sometimes downright bizarre things that make people feel attracted, connected, and turned on. From fresh bed sheets and gardening to emotional vulnerability and conflict resolution, we're exploring the green flags, personality traits, and everyday moments that can spark desire in ways we never expected. We discuss: Why emotional vulnerability can be incredibly attractive The appeal of emotional regulation and healthy communication Acts of service and why chores can become foreplay Competence, confidence and professional attraction Eye contact, direct communication and feeling desired Nature, scent, fresh sheets and creating an erotic atmosphere Listener submissions about accents, singing, oral fixations and more We also share some personal life updates, including navigating parenthood, balancing work and childcare, and our recent visit to Parliament to discuss the shadow-banning and deplatforming of sx workers, educators and LGBTQ+ creators on social media platforms. Because attraction isn't always about bodies or sex. Sometimes it's about feeling safe, understood, supported or watching someone confidently reverse a car into a parking space. Watch the full video, see exclusive content and support the podcast over on ⁠⁠Patreon ⁠⁠ Follow us on Instagram: ⁠⁠@comecurious⁠⁠ and DM us your questions, stories and voicenotes! Follow Florence ⁠⁠@florencebark⁠⁠ Follow Reed ⁠⁠@reedamberx Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, Dr. Stuart Slavin is joined by Dr. Daniel Saddawi‑Konefka, associate professor of anesthesia, and Dr. Matthew Tung, instructor in anesthesia, both at Harvard Medical School. They discuss their JAMA viewpoint, Meaning and Comfort in Physician Well‑Being: An Integrated Framework, and explore how two complementary dimensions of well‑being—meaning and comfort—can help physicians thrive throughout their careers. Drawing on concepts rooted in ancient Greek philosophy, Drs. Saddawi‑Konefka and Tung examine the relationship between eudaimonia (the sense of purpose and fulfillment that comes from service, growth, and connection) and hedonia (the well‑being associated with comfort, safety, and the reduction of unnecessary burdens). They discuss why these concepts are often framed as competing priorities in medicine and argue instead that both are essential components of sustainable physician well‑being. The conversation also explores practical applications within graduate medical education, including fostering intrinsic motivation, promoting autonomy, competence, and relatedness, and creating opportunities for learners to connect with the meaning inherent in patient care. Throughout the discussion, the speakers highlight how organizational efforts to reduce administrative burdens and improve working conditions can create the space needed for physicians to engage more deeply with purpose, connection, and professional fulfillment. Listeners will gain valuable insights into how an integrated approach to meaning and comfort can support well‑being for learners, educators, and practicing physicians alike. Podcast Chapters (00:00) – Intro and Guest Introduction (01:15) – Origins of the Meaning and Comfort Framework (03:00) – Rethinking Physician Well-Being (04:30) – Understanding Meaning and Comfort (06:03) – Hedonia, Eudaimonia, and Well-Being (08:10) – Finding Life and Meaning in Work (10:06) – Balancing Purpose and Comfort (11:20) – Intrinsic Motivation and Medical Training (12:56) – Self-Determination Theory in Practice (14:47) – Autonomy, Competence, and Relatedness (16:39) – Creating Cultures of Meaning and Connection (18:18) – Gratitude, Recognition, and Daily Purpose (19:45) – Rediscovering Meaning in Everyday Clinical Work (21:20) – When Loss of Meaning Signals a Need for Support (22:27) – Hedonic Adaptation and Sustainable Well-Being (23:11) – Integrating Meaning and Comfort (24:48) – Closing and Resources

Dr. Kevin Basik — 24-year Air Force behavioral scientist, PhD in Organizational Behavior, and co-founder of the National Medal of Honor Leadership Institute — had a 3am panic attack while building a leadership program with a Navy SEAL-turned-astronaut. This episode breaks down his courage framework, validated by actual Medal of Honor recipients, for beating imposter syndrome, building behavioral integrity, and leading with values-driven leadership under pressure. Connect with Kevin Basik https://basikinsight.com/ https://basikinsight.com/connect/ 334.467.6346Kevin@basikinsight.com Connect with Kwame: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Request A Customized Workshop For Your Company⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Follow Kwame Christian on LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠negotiateanything.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Click here to buy your copy of Finding Confidence in Conflict: How to Negotiate Anything and Live Your Best Life!⁠⁠ @kwamenegotiates across all social platforms

In this episode of Nursing EDge Unscripted, host Dr. Raquel Bertiz and Dr. Kellie Bryant welcome Dr. Jasline Moreno to discuss Objective Structured Teaching Encounters (OSTEs) and their growing role in nursing education. Dr. Moreno explains how OSTEs provide simulation educators with structured opportunities to practice teaching, receive feedback, and strengthen essential facilitation, prebriefing, and debriefing skills in a psychologically safe environment. The conversation explores common challenges faced by novice simulation educators, including the transition from clinical expert to effective facilitator, and how OSTEs help bridge gaps in educator development. Dr. Moreno also shares practical insights into designing and implementing OSTEs, including the use of standardized learners, peer evaluation, and virtual delivery models. The episode concludes with a discussion of the future potential of OSTEs as a competency-based workforce development strategy that can enhance educator preparation, leadership development, and healthcare practice across a variety of settings.Dedicated to excellence in nursing, the National League for Nursing is the leading organization for nurse faculty and leaders in nursing education. Find past episodes of the NLN Nursing EDge podcast online. Get instant updates by following the NLN on LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram, Bluesky, and YouTube. For more information, visit NLN.org.

Outline00:00 - Intro02:25 - Bachelier and the Théorie de la Spéculation03:05 - Stochastic processes, Brownian motion, and the heat equation09:45 - Poincaré's verdict, obscurity, and rediscovery13:50 - Robert C. Merton: from hot rods to MIT19:25 - Dynamic programming and Itô calculus24:35 - Merton's portfolio problem as stochastic optimal control31:10 - Options, dynamic hedging, and the Black–Scholes–Merton equation39:50 - LTCM: the dream team46:30 - August 1998: the crash49:00 - Fat tails and the ten-sigma defense51:40 - The ghosts of 2008 and echoes in the AI boom54:00 - Robustness embraced at last: Hansen and Sargent57:45 - OutroLinksBachelier's thesis, "Théorie de la Spéculation" (1900): https://www.numdam.org/item/10.24033/asens.476.pdfCourtault et al., "Louis Bachelier on the Centenary of Théorie de la Spéculation": https://doi.org/10.1111/1467-9965.00098Merton's Nobel autobiography: https://www.nobelprize.org/prizes/economic-sciences/1997/merton/biographical/Merton's MIT "Infinite History" interview: https://infinite.mit.edu/video/robert-c-merton-phd-%E2%80%9970/Mandelbrot, "The Variation of Certain Speculative Prices": https://doi.org/10.1086/294632Merton, "Optimum Consumption and Portfolio Rules in a Continuous-Time Model": https://doi.org/10.1016/0022-0531(71)90038-XMoehle & Boyd, "A Certainty Equivalent Merton Problem": https://doi.org/10.1109/LCSYS.2021.3111534Brigo & Mercurio, "Interest Rate Models: Theory and Practice": https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-540-34604-3Armstrong, Brigo & Hanzon, "Optimal Projection Filters with Information Geometry": https://doi.org/10.1007/s41884-023-00108-xHu & Zhou, "Constrained Stochastic LQ Control with Random Coefficients, and Application to Portfolio Selection": https://doi.org/10.1137/S0363012904441969Black & Scholes, "The Pricing of Options and Corporate Liabilities": https://doi.org/10.1086/260062Merton, "Theory of Rational Option Pricing": https://doi.org/10.2307/3003143Merton, "Option Pricing When Underlying Stock Returns Are Discontinuous": https://doi.org/10.1016/0304-405X(76)90022-2Scholes' Nobel lecture: https://www.nobelprize.org/prizes/economic-sciences/1997/scholes/lecture/Merton's Nobel lecture: https://www.nobelprize.org/prizes/economic-sciences/1997/merton/lecture/Markowitz, "Portfolio Selection": https://doi.org/10.2307/2975974Michael Lewis, "Liar's Poker": https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Liar%27s_PokerEdwards, "Hedge Funds and the Collapse of Long-Term Capital Management": https://doi.org/10.1257/jep.13.2.189Lowenstein, "When Genius Failed": https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/When_Genius_FailedTaleb, "Statistical Consequences of Fat Tails": https://arxiv.org/abs/2001.10488Taleb & West, "Working with Convex Responses: Antifragility from Finance to Oncology": https://doi.org/10.3390/e25020343Taleb, "The Black Swan": https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Black_Swan:_The_Impact_of_the_Highly_ImprobableTaleb, "Fooled by Randomness": https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fooled_by_RandomnessMan Group, "The AI Bubble: Hidden Risks and Opportunities": https://www.man.com/insights/the-ai-bubbleSen. Warren's remarks at the Vanderbilt Policy Accelerator: https://www.banking.senate.gov/newsroom/minority/warren-remarks-at-vanderbilt-policy-accelerator-event-highlighting-economic-and-financial-risks-of-potential-ai-crashMeng & Chen, "Artificial Intelligence and Systemic Risk": https://arxiv.org/abs/2604.03272Doyle, "Guaranteed Margins for LQG Regulators": https://doi.org/10.1109/TAC.1978.1101791Safonov & Athans, "Gain and Phase Margin for Multiloop LQG Regulators": https://doi.org/10.1109/TAC.1977.1101470Hansen & Sargent, "Robust Control and Model Uncertainty": https://doi.org/10.1257/aer.91.2.60Hansen & Sargent, "Wanting Robustness in Macroeconomics": http://www.tomsargent.com/research/wanting.pdfSupport the showPodcast infoPodcast website: https://www.incontrolpodcast.com/Apple Podcasts: https://tinyurl.com/5n84j85jSpotify: https://tinyurl.com/4rwztj3cRSS: https://tinyurl.com/yc2fcv4yYoutube: https://tinyurl.com/bdbvhsj6Facebook: https://tinyurl.com/3z24yr43Twitter: https://twitter.com/IncontrolPInstagram: https://tinyurl.com/35cu4kr4Acknowledgments and sponsorsThis episode was supported by the National Centre of Competence in Research on «Dependable, ubiquitous automation» and the IFAC Activity fund. The podcast benefits from the help of an incredibly talented and passionate team. Special thanks to L. Seward, E. Cahard, F. Banis, F. Dörfler, J. Lygeros, ETH studio and mirrorlake . Music was composed by A New Element.

My non-speaking three-year-old student told me "This is boring" on his AAC device. That moment changed everything for me, because that is communication, and that is competence. It's exactly what today's episode is about: presuming competence, an idea that quietly shapes everything else we do with young autistic children. Because so often, the ability was there all along. What was missing wasn't the child's capacity. It was the tools, and an adult willing to believe there was something worth saying. This conversation explores what presuming competence actually means, why it matters so much in the preschool years, the prerequisite myths that hold kids back, and the practical shifts that help us act like the capable child is already there. We'll talk about: ● what presuming competence really means ● why the preschool years set a child's trajectory ● the "prerequisite trap" and why there are no readiness skills for communication ● why speech is not the same as intelligence ● what presuming competence looks like in a real classroom ● why communication should never have to be earned Because we don't know what a child knows until they have the tools to tell us. In This Episode, You'll Learn • What it actually means to presume competence, and why it's a starting posture, not a reward • Why the false belief that "speech equals intelligence" causes real harm • How the way we describe a child can become a self-fulfilling prophecy • Why there are no prerequisites for communication, no pointing, matching, or "safe behavior" required • How lowered expectations in early childhood can follow a child for a lifetime • Practical ways to presume competence with non-speaking and minimally speaking children • Why cognitive testing can dramatically underestimate what a child knows • What it means to make communication available rather than something a child has to earn Key Takeaways • Presuming competence means believing in a child's capacity before they can prove it • Non-speaking does not mean non-understanding • Speech is not the same as intelligence • There are no readiness skills required for robust AAC • Children grow toward the expectations we hold for them • We don't talk about a child in front of them, because we presume they understand • Behavior almost always has deeper meaning than a few simple categories • Communication is a right, not something a child has to earn Try This • Pick one child whose abilities you may be quietly underestimating, and shift one assumption this week • Talk to every child as if they understand every word, because they very well might • Stop talking about a child in front of them, even with co-teachers and paras • Follow a child's deep interests instead of restricting them • Model language without requiring the child to perform it back • Make room for silence, simply being a calm, trusting presence • Hold cognitive test scores loosely, and presume there is more inside than the test could reach Related Resources & Links AAC In The Classroom AAC- What Most Educators Miss  Preschool Autism Summit Registration- Grab your free ticket to the 3rd Annual Preschool Autism Summit (Happening Now) Autism Little Learners Membership When we presume competence, we stop waiting for children to prove they're ready and start making sure they always have the opportunity to communicate. Our job was never to decide when a child is ready. It's to make sure the door is always open. And once you start seeing every child as already capable, it changes everything about the way you teach.  

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What does it really mean to say that an AI system understands, reasons or thinks?In this episode of Ethics and Innovation by Oxford+ brought to you by Equinox, host Susannah de Jager speaks with Dr Raphaël Millière, Associate Professor in Philosophy at the University of Oxford, about the deep conceptual questions behind today's AI systems. Raphaël explains why strong performance on a benchmark does not always prove real competence, why language models learn in a profoundly different way from humans, and why common sense remains such a revealing fault line in AI research.The conversation moves from consciousness and anthropomorphism to the geopolitical stakes of sovereign AI. Recent research from Anthropic on global workspace-like structures in language models shows why questions about internal representations are becoming more urgent, while the European Commission's 2026 technological sovereignty package underlines how AI capability is now tied to economic resilience, national security and democratic control.(00:00) - Welcome to Oxford+ (01:01) - Raphaël Millière's Work in Philosophy of AI (03:24) - Performance, Competence and AI Evaluation (07:01) - Testing Analogy and Reasoning in AI Models (08:56) - Why AI Learns Differently from Humans (13:13) - Language, Embodiment and the Path to Intelligence (17:02) - Common Sense and the Jagged Edge of AI (19:39) - Should We Build Human-Level AI? (22:29) - The Utopian and Arms Race Cases for AI (28:31) - Sovereign AI, Europe and Strategic Dependence (34:01) - Public Investment, Private Incentives and Democratic Governance (37:21) - Moving Beyond Polarised AI Debates Raphaël Millière: Raphaël Millière is an Associate Professor in Philosophy at the University of Oxford, a Fellow of Jesus College and affiliated with the Institute for Ethics in AI. His research sits at the intersection of philosophy, cognitive science and artificial intelligence, with a focus on the capacities and limitations of contemporary AI systems, including language understanding, reasoning, planning, consciousness and AI safety. He also holds an AI2050 Fellowship from Schmidt Sciences, and his recent work includes The Philosophy of Language Models, published in Philosophy Compass.Connect with Raphaël on LinkedInSusannah de Jager: Susannah is a seasoned professional with over 15 years of experience in UK asset management. She has worked closely with industry experts, entrepreneurs, and government officials to shape the conversation around domestic scale-up capital.Connect with Susannah on LinkedIn and Subscribe to the Oxford+ Newsletter for Exclusive ContentOxford+ is hosted by Susannah de Jager and supported by Equinox.Produced and Edited by Story Ninety-Four in Oxford.

About Michelle Nedelec: Michelle is an international best selling author and expert in entrepreneurs and she's the founder of Awareness Strategies. She's run her own series of companies for over 22 years and for over 15 years has been helping managers and executives to continually double their profits and revenues. She not only has what it takes to help her clients build million-dollar businesses but she does it time and time again. Michelle particularly loves to talk about marketing automation, systems integration, and support both on and off of the stage. She teaches the key components of the business, strategy, systems, support, and state of mind so that you know how to continually elevate all four components to build a healthy thriving business. For the past 6 years, she's been focusing on helping entrepreneurs bring their businesses online from conceptualization to done for you IT automation. In this episode, Jennie and Michelle discuss: Competence vs. Confidence. You don't need to have the competence you need to have confidence. Focus on your goals, short term goals, long term goals, and ultra long term goals. Business automation systems, how to attract people gain their attention, and hook them in. Money and business, spending vs investing.   Key Takeaways: Fear is part of being human, embrace it instead of feeling scared of it. Build and embrace your confidence. Expand your comfort zone and confidence by setting goals and then proving that you can achieve them. Pitch marketing is over, everyone wants to buy, but no one wants to be sold on something. Work to solve a problem for them. Employee mindset vs entrepreneur mindset, ask yourself what you want to create and then do it, don't wait for people to tell you what to do.   "It's not rocket science it's just common sense in the business world." —  Michelle Nedelec   Michelle's Book Freebie: Business Ownership Mindset Connect with Michelle Nedelec: Facebook: Michelle @ Awareness Strategies Instagram: @michellenedelec Website: Business Ownership Mindset.com Show: The Little Blue Pill for Business Podcast (Coming to You August 11th) LinkedIn: Michelle Nedelec Email:michelle@awarenessstrategies.com   CONNECT WITH JENNIE: Twitter: https://twitter.com/jenniebpl Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/badassdirectsalesmastery/app/307339332686535/ Instagram: Website: https://badassdirectsalesmastery.com/  Show: https://badassdirectsalesmastery.com/blog/     Show notes by Podcastologist: Kristen Braun  Audio production by Turnkey Podcast Productions. You're the expert. Your podcast will prove it. 

Does your toddler grunt, point, or expect you to solve every little problem? If demanding toddler behavior has you feeling like your child's personal assistant, this episode shares a simple shift that can make everyday toddler discipline feel more peaceful and effective.In this episode of Sustainable Parenting Podcast with Flora McCormick, you'll discover why empowerment works better than constant correction. Instead of doing everything for your child or getting stuck in frustration, you'll learn how toddler discipline can become an opportunity to build independence, confidence, and problem-solving skills.This approach is rooted in gentle parenting, positive discipline, and kind and firm parenting. You'll hear practical scripts you can use when your child grunts, whines, or demands help, along with easy ways to set up your home so they can do more on their own. As children become more capable, it's often easier to stop power struggles with kids while creating more calm parenting moments and less parenting without yelling.In this episode, you'll learn:• Why correcting demanding behavior often leads to more frustration• How empowerment can transform your approach to toddler discipline• A simple script to encourage your child to communicate instead of grunt or whine• Practical ways to help your toddler become more independent at home• How gentle scaffolding helps children build confidence one step at a time✨ If you're looking for a gentle discipline approach that saves energy while helping your child grow, this episode is full of practical ideas you can start using today. Small shifts now can lead to more independence, fewer daily struggles, and a home filled with more connection and cooperation.✨Want more?  ✨JOIN me in the SUMMER of support:  

What if the very skills that made you successful are now the reason your business can't grow without you?Being highly capable isn't always a leadership advantage. Sometimes it's the very thing keeping you trapped in the day-to-day.In this episode, Dawn Andrews introduces The Curse of Capability, the hidden pattern where ambitious founders respond to every business problem by becoming more skilled themselves instead of building better systems, stronger processes, and more capable teams.If you're a founder who keeps stepping in "just this once," this episode will help you recognize when your competence has become your company's growth ceiling and give you one simple question that changes how you lead.If today's episode made you realize you've become the solution instead of building one, you're exactly who the AI for Founders Community was created for. Join us on LinkedIn to learn practical AI workflows, leadership frameworks, and delegation systems that help you stop being the bottleneck and start leading like the CEO your business needs.Key TakeawaysWhy solving every problem yourself is a leadership problem not a productivity problem.The difference between building your own capability and building your company's capacity.How the Curse of Capability quietly turns brilliant founders into the biggest bottleneck in their business.The one-question Capability Check that helps you decide whether learning another skill is moving your business forward or protecting you from trusting your team.Why AI should expand your leadership capacity instead of giving you another place to hide in the work.Resources & LinksAI for Founders Community Free Guide: 10 Ways AI Will Make You a Better LeaderRelated EpisodeEp. 165: The System Your Business NEEDS to Stop the Bottleneck Before You Add Any Other SystemEp. 161: You Already Know Something Is Broken in Your Business. Here's How to Find It with AI Before It Costs You Another QuarterEp. 159: The Bottleneck Isn't Your Team. It's What You Haven't Been Willing to Say Out LoudEp. 158: If Your $1M Business Lives in Your Head, It Can't Scale. Here's the AI Workflow That Fixes ItEp. 155: Your Team Was Never Supposed to Care as Much as You Do. Here's What to Do With ThatEp. 146: The Delegation Mistake That's Keeping You Stuck Working 60 Hours a Week (& The 1 AI Trick to Overcome It)Send us Fan MailWant to increase revenue and impact? Listen to “She's That Founder” for insights on business strategy and female leadership to scale your business. Each episode offers advice on effective communication, team building, and management. Learn to master routines and systems to boost productivity and prevent burnout. Our delegation tips and business consulting will advance your executive leadership skills and presence.

Do you know the last fruit of the Spirit mentioned in Galatians 5? It is the theme of today's podcast from chapter 4 in The Next Conversation by Jefferson Fisher, Control Yourself. Fisher explains the two phases of every argument, ignition (aka fight or flight) and cooling (aka rest & digest).“Ignition happens when, with enough friction, the productive becomes destructive.”In this phase, the prefrontal cortex functions little to nothing. This explains why so many unkind and  unthinkable comments are growled and often yelled, the decision-making part of the brain is out to lunch. Connects with a couple of idioms,  “I put my foot in my mouth” and “He put his foot in it.” The Next Conversation will help us eliminate those instances!“Friction offers room for improvement. Because what triggers you teaches you.”Here is Fisher's breakdown of triggers:Physical triggers-most noticeable, impact your sense of well-beingPsychological triggersSocial triggers - worried about how others perceive youPersonal identity threats - A. Competence, B. Autonomy, C. Purpose, & D. ValueLoss If you learn to understand your body's reactions and ups and downs, you'll also be able to recognize the triggers of others. “They aren't behaviors to get offended over. They're information to gather.”Remember, what triggers you teaches you, if you're willing to learn…If you want to put out fires, find their trigger.” It's a win win, are you ready to dive in? Blessings!

What happens inside a leader when decisions must be made under extreme pressure, uncertainty, and with life-or-death consequences? In this episode, host Doug Bytes sits down with Brigadier Dan Fortune, one of Australia's most experienced and decorated special operations commanders. As a two-time recipient of the Distinguished Service Cross and the US Bronze Star, Dan brings over 30 years of elite military experience to a profound, no-nonsense conversation about leadership, moral courage, and the dangerous reality of relying on "gut feelings" in high-stakes environments. Doug and Dan engage in a sharp, Socratic dialogue challenging the modern perception of intuition. Dan argues that true intuition isn't an abstract vibe dropped by the universe; it is the subconscious byproduct of deep competence, relentless hard work, and muscle memory. From the battlefields of Afghanistan to the systemic failures of modern institutions, this episode unpacks what it takes to build a coherent ethical framework, why leaders must own their outcomes, and how true courage is entirely contagious. Key Takeaways • The Risk of Raw Intuition: In high-stakes environments, relying on unearned intuition or "schoolboy antics" can get people killed. True intuitive judgment must be anchored in deep competence and lived experience. • Moral Courage is Uncomfortable: Acting with moral courage means standing outside the dominant narrative, often without data to back you up. It rarely feels good in the moment, but it relies on an ethical framework built before the crisis hits. Connect with the Guest – Dan Fortune Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/wanderingwarriorslimited/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/wanderingwarriors/ Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@WanderingwarriorsOrg Website: https://wanderingwarriors.org/ Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/company/wandering-warriors/ Connect with Doug Beitz: Email: info@dougbeitz.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/dougbeitz/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dougbeitz/ Website: https://buymeacoffee.com/dougbeitz Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6mQ258nugC3lyw3SpvYuoK?si=7cec409527d34438 Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/intuitive-conversations-with-doug/id1593172364 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/doug-beitz-472a4b338/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dougbeitz178

AI Ethics Codes for Therapists: What CAMFT, APA, NASW, and AAMFT Now Require How the CAMFT, APA, NASW, and AAMFT ethics codes now regulate AI in therapy: a CE podcourse on competence, informed consent, data privacy, bias, and human accountability. Curt Widhalm, LMFT, and Katie Vernoy, LMFT, walk through the recent artificial intelligence updates to the major mental health ethics codes. Centering on the new CAMFT updates and cross-referencing the APA, NASW, ACA, and AAMFT codes, they turn the new language into a practical roadmap for everyday clinical work. The conversation covers what competence with AI actually requires (closer to safely driving a car than building one), the three CAMFT obligations that travel together (disclosure, informed consent, and informed decision making), and a client's right to opt out. They get specific on data privacy, including business associate agreements and why "HIPAA compliant" is a marketing claim rather than a certification, on spotting demographic and medical-model bias in AI output, and on why the human in the loop still owns and is accountable for anything signed under their name. This continuing education podcourse is for therapists, supervisors, and clinical educators who want to use AI tools ethically and stay accountable in an automated world. In this episode, we discuss: - Why the codes aim for broad, durable AI principles instead of tool-specific rules - What competence with AI actually requires of a clinician - The three CAMFT obligations: disclosure, informed consent, and informed decision making - How to vet data privacy, including BAAs and why "HIPAA compliant" is only marketing - How to catch demographic and medical-model bias in AI output - Why the clinician remains responsible for anything produced under their name Timestamps: - 0:55 - Why the ethics codes are updating for AI - 3:30 - Defining artificial intelligence (California AB 2885) - 9:49 - The four Beauchamp and Childress principles - 12:28 - Timeline: CAMFT, APA, NASW, and AAMFT updates - 16:11 - Competence and the "driving a car" metaphor - 21:09 - Disclosure, informed consent, and the right to opt out - 33:18 - Data privacy, BAAs, and "HIPAA compliant" as marketing - 41:20 - Bias, social justice, and reading the output - 44:52 - The human in the loop and accountability - 53:12 - Is AI right for this client? - 1:00:59 - Supervision, education, and the AI vetting guide 1 CE unit is available through the Modern Therapist Learning Community: moderntherapistcommunity.com Full show notes and transcript: mtsgpodcast.com Join the Modern Therapist Community Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/mtsgpodcast Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/therapyreimagined Modern Therapist's Survival Guide Creative Credits Voice Over by DW McCann: https://www.facebook.com/McCannDW/ Music by Crystal Grooms Mangano: https://groomsymusic.com/

Summary Underperformance is often treated as a motivation problem when the real issue may be a lack of clarity, capability or confidence. Effective leaders resist the temptation to jump to conclusions and instead focus on understanding what's driving performance. By diagnosing before prescribing, asking better questions and creating clear expectations, leaders can prevent many performance issues before they occur.   Transcript Hello and welcome to episode 230 of the Leadership Today Podcast, where each week we share practical tips to improve your leadership. This week we explore four areas that will help you to diagnose likely performance issues before they become a problem. When someone in our team starts underperforming, it's remarkable how quickly we jump to conclusions. We see missed deadlines, lower quality work, reduced initiative or declining engagement and often assume we already know what's going on. They must have lost motivation. They've become complacent. They don't care as much as they used to. Before long, we've developed a story about the cause of the problem, often with very little evidence. One of the biggest mistakes leaders make when managing performance is assuming they know why someone is underperforming. We observe behaviour and immediately start interpreting it. The challenge is that while behaviour is visible, the causes behind that behaviour are often hidden. Two people can display exactly the same performance issue for completely different reasons. I was recently facilitating a workshop on managing underperformance and asked participants to think about someone in their team whose performance wasn't where they wanted it to be. The leaders could easily describe what they were seeing. They talked about missed deadlines, lower quality work, avoidance of difficult tasks, reduced initiative and a general drop in engagement. What was much harder was identifying why those behaviours were occurring. As the discussion unfolded, it became clear that most leaders were highly confident about the symptoms but far less certain about the causes. A useful way to think about performance is through four questions. Does the person know what good performance looks like? Can they do it? Do they believe they can do it? And do they want to do it? These questions point us towards four common drivers of performance: clarity, capability, confidence and motivation. Understanding which of these is getting in the way is often the difference between solving a problem and making it worse. For example, someone may avoid a task because they weren't aware it was important. Another might avoid it because they genuinely don't have the skills or experience to complete it effectively. Another person may avoid exactly the same task because they're worried they'll fail or look incompetent. Another person may avoid it because they simply don't see personal value in the task and have disengaged from the outcome. From the outside, all three situations can look identical. We see avoidance, hesitation or procrastination. What we don't immediately see is the reason behind it. This is why curiosity is such an important leadership skill. Rather than asking, "What's wrong with this person?", effective leaders ask, "What's getting in the way of this person's success?" That subtle shift moves us away from judgement and towards understanding. It encourages us to gather information before reaching conclusions and significantly improves our chances of providing the support people actually need. Research provides some useful insights here. Self-Determination Theory, developed by Edward Deci and Richard Ryan, suggests that people are more likely to be motivated when three psychological needs are met: competence, autonomy and relatedness. Competence is the feeling that we can do something well. Autonomy is having some choice and control over our work. Relatedness is feeling connected to others and to a broader purpose. What's particularly interesting is that competence sits at the foundation. When people don't feel capable, motivation often suffers as a result. Think about a time when you were asked to do something that felt completely outside your comfort zone. Perhaps you were asked to present to a large audience, lead a major project or take responsibility for something you'd never done before. Chances are you didn't immediately feel highly motivated. You may have procrastinated, delayed getting started or looked for reasons to avoid the task. Someone observing your behaviour might have concluded that you lacked motivation. In reality, the issue may have been capability, confidence or both. The same thing happens in our teams. Leaders often assume a motivation problem when the real issue is capability or confidence. The reverse can happen as well. Sometimes leaders invest heavily in training and development when the real issue is that someone no longer feels connected to the purpose of their work. Without understanding the cause, we're simply guessing. Another contributor to underperformance that often gets overlooked is clarity. Many performance issues begin long before performance actually declines. They start when expectations are vague, inconsistent or poorly communicated. I've worked with leaders who were frustrated that team members weren't demonstrating enough initiative, only to discover that nobody had clearly defined what initiative actually looked like. Different leaders had different expectations, making it almost impossible for people to consistently succeed. It's difficult to hit a target you can't clearly see. People are far more likely to perform well when they understand what success looks like, how their work contributes to broader goals and what standards are expected of them. Sometimes what appears to be an accountability issue is really an expectations issue. The conversation that needs to happen isn't about performance correction. It's about performance clarity. So what can we do as leaders? First, diagnose before you decide. When you notice a performance issue, resist the temptation to immediately label it as a motivation problem. Consider whether the issue might relate to clarity, capability, confidence or motivation. Gather information before reaching conclusions. Second, ask better questions. Questions such as "What's been most challenging about this?" or "What support would help you succeed?" often reveal far more than assumptions ever will. The quality of our diagnosis depends heavily on the quality of our questions. Third, focus on prevention rather than correction. The best underperformance conversation is often the one you never need to have because expectations were clear from the beginning. Invest time upfront defining success, checking understanding and providing regular feedback before problems emerge. Managing underperformance can be one of the most challenging aspects of leadership, but it becomes much easier when we replace assumptions with curiosity. Most people don't come to work intending to underperform. More often, something is getting in the way of their success. Our role as leaders is to understand what that obstacle is and help remove it. This week, think about someone whose performance isn't where you'd like it to be and ask yourself four questions: Do they know what good looks like? Can they do it? Do they believe they can do it? Do they want to do it? Your answers may completely change the conversation you need to have.

Staff Meeting: Spirit Dependence over Competence - Pastor Lisa Durant (06/23/2026) by Word of Life Assembly of God

How do students learn physical assessments most effectively and transfer these skills to clinical practice? Traditionally, students learn to conduct a complete assessment over several weeks and demonstrate their competence by performing assessments under the observation of a faculty member. However, this standard approach may result in students merely memorizing the steps to pass the assessment, potentially leading to difficulties in transferring these skills to real clinical situations. To address this issue, the faculty implemented a video technology method, allowing students to record themselves while assessing a peer partner. Using Swivel® technology (https://www.swivl.com), students capture their assessments on video and complete a self-evaluation before submitting their videos for grading. In the podcast and article, Dr. Delanie explains the teaching strategy.

The Rod and Greg Show Daily Rundown – Tuesday, June 23, 20264:20 pm: Inez Stepman, Senior Policy Analyst for the Independent Women's Forum joins the show for a conversation about her piece in National Review on the quiet competence of the Trump Administration.4:38 pm: Senator Mike Lee joins the program for his weekly visit with Rod and Greg about what's happening in Washington, D.C., and today they'll discuss a judge's decision that President Trump's upgrade of the centralized voter-verification database was unlawful, plus the rise of socialism in America.6:05 pm: John Hinderaker of Powerline joins Rod and Greg for a conversation about his piece on the rise of socialism in America and how it may have created an unbridgeable divide.6:38 pm: James Thorne, a marketing strategist and contributor to the Epoch Times, joins the show to discuss his piece about how President Trump has helped secure peace in the world by using American strength.

Does visibility follow opportunities, or do opportunities follow visibility? The (perhaps hard) truth is that the opportunities you desire likely require visibility first. And… Creating that visibility lands squarely on you. Most people aren't randomly discovered for their talent and unique perspective. The people who are platformed and promoted have intentionally and strategically made themselves visible enough to be discovered. Do you find yourself thinking: I'd like to have a greater impact I'd like to be recognized for my expertise I'd like to be considered for bigger opportunities I'd like more influence I'd like to be known for something I'd like to be seen as the hands-down best candidate for a new role Right now, the leaders who are getting invited into bigger conversations aren't necessarily the smartest, most credentialed, or most decorated people in the room. They're often the people who have done the work of clarifying what they stand for, what they know, and how they want to contribute. In this episode, I walk you through the exact steps to become more of a go-to voice in your industry. You may be thinking you need more experience or education before positioning yourself as an expert in your field. Nope. You're already ready. Promise.  I have no doubt your unique blend of education/experience/talent/perspective qualifies you to stand out in some way. So, let's figure out how you can leverage that, shall we? Using my 5-step Authority Ascension Framework, you will move from Competence (owning your expertise, experience, and unique POV) to Clarity (your unique thought leadership framework) to Contributing (actually becoming more visible in various ways) to Confirmed Credibility (becoming known and trusted by others), and finally, to Called Upon (people coming to you with opportunities!) We will also spend some time digging into how women miss the mark with visibility and leave the door wide open for others to take up the spaces they are ready and qualified to fill. This will help you see and understand the (likely arbitrary, if not completely made up) rules you are letting hold you back.  Major opportunities are often built from dozens of small visibility moments. This episode will help you position yourself for those little and not-so-little moments, from building your own content and frameworks to facilitating different kinds of conversations to speaking at events to mentoring others to getting interviews to getting published and more.  Links Mentioned: June 24th Free Workshop: The Future-Proof Leader: Why Your Thought Leadership Matters Significantly More in the Age of AI: https://saradean.com/future/ Hire Sara to speak: saradean.com/speaking Coach with Sara: https://saradean.com/executive-coaching-services Connect with Sara on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/saradeanspeaks Watch Shameless Leadership episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@saradeanspeaks Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What happens when a former high school principal and White House fellow steps into the political arena to challenge the status quo?In this episode of TRUST ME I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING, I sit down with educator, leader, and congressional candidate for Florida's 22nd district, Pia Dandiya. From founding a high school in Harlem with an 86% poverty rate and sending 100% of its students to college, to running a tight political operation in a competitive toss-up seat, Pia brings a refreshing, execution-focused perspective to modern governance.Pia breaks down her core framework for societal growth—detailing why we must legislate for stability first before we can unlock true opportunity for the next generation. She opens up about the realities of modern political fundraising, the necessity of building a high-functioning policy shop on day one, and how her background as a South Asian woman raised in Florida shapes her deep appreciation for American democracy.We also dive into the future of education in the age of AI, the power of real-time community listening, and the personal unlearning it takes to shift from a pure focus on execution to leading with authenticity and a strong heart.Pia shares insights on:• Stability First, Opportunity Second: Why tackling immediate cost-of-living and housing supply challenges is the essential first step before implementing long-term workforce development programs.• The 80% Rule of Bipartisanship: How focusing on the vast common ground shared across political party lines can cut through performative politics to deliver true progress.• AI and Personalized Education: Why AI will never replace classroom teachers, but how it can empower them to become individualized facilitators of critical thinking.• Competence vs. Authenticity: The powerful leadership lesson of shifting from standard execution metrics to embracing vulnerability and human connection.• The Spark of Public Service: A moving look back at a life-changing summer teaching in India that defined her calling to fight for human dignity.If you enjoyed this deep dive, please hit that subscribe button, leave a comment, and share this video with your friends and family!--------------------------Chapters:00:00 Introduction & Vision for the Future03:19 Navigating Florida's New 22nd District04:42 Problem Solving Lessons From a Harlem Principal07:44 Rebuilding Voter Trust & Overcoming Frustration11:19 Stability First: Tackling Housing & Cost of Living13:44 Job Skills & Workforce Training in the AI Era17:33 Bipartisan Leadership & The 80% Rule19:38 Sponsor Break: Travelopod20:13 Competence vs. Authenticity in Leadership22:05 What American Patriotism Means in 202624:29 A South Asian Perspective on US Democracy25:53 Finding My Purpose: A Summer Journey to India28:57 Balancing Short-Term Needs With Long-Term Policy32:20 The Reality of Political Fundraising & Authenticity34:55 Turning Individual Power Into Civic Action37:43 Episode Wrap-up & How to Get InvolvedGet to know Pia Dandiyahttps://piaforcongress.com/#PiaDandiya #BipartisanLeadership #EducationReform #FloridaPolitics #TrustMeIKnowWhatImDoing--------------------------Trust Me I Know What I'm Doing | Dr. Abhay DandekarA mirror and window for global Indians and South Asians through conversation.Every week, we share chats with artists, leaders, musicians, chefs, experts, change makers, and innovators from the home and diaspora - sharing their journeys and motivations.Support our sponsors: Start your journey with personalized travel support at https://vacation.travelopod.com/For enquiries

Travis Hahler: Wired for Change, Part 1 | Leading Humans Through AI Transformation Travis Hahler is the Senior Director of Global Strategy and Transformation at Salesforce and the founder of Neurological Nomad. His book Rethink Resistance, publishing June 23rd, explores how leaders can embrace human biology to drive meaningful change. Fun Fact: Travis loves a good pasta. Red sauce, vodka sauce, white sauce, all the sauces. You simply cannot go wrong. What You Will Learn Why telling employees to "go play" with AI activates fear rather than innovation How the brain defaults to the worst-case narrative when faced with ambiguity Why early adopters are only about two and a half percent of any workforce How to give your team clarity around what innovation means in their role Why group exploration is safer and more effective than solo adoption How ninety percent of AI users are only chatting with it, not leveraging its potential Why building competence over time beats trying to master everything at once How resisting AI to protect your job is the fastest path to losing it Why leadership is evolving from systems thinking to challenge and reinvention Key Insights Clarity is the foundation of transformation; define innovation before you ask for it Resistance is neurological, not personal; the brain defaults to protection under ambiguity Group adoption accelerates individual progress and lowers perceived risk Competence builds confidence, and confidence enables lasting change Staying still in the age of AI is a career risk, not a safe choice Leaders who thrive will model curiosity, adaptability, and purpose-driven growth Memorable Quotes "Everyone is talking about AI, but no one is talking about how they are going to do it." "People's brains automatically go to the negative." "You do not have to solve everything. Start with the basics." "Trying to hold on to your job is not going to help you save it." "AI is the buffet. You could get whatever you want, however you want it." Who Should Listen Leaders, executives, and professionals navigating AI adoption without a clear roadmap. If you are struggling with workforce resistance, unclear innovation mandates, or leading people through uncertainty, this conversation offers practical strategy and a neuroscience-informed view on why change feels hard. Your Next Step Start with one question: what is one task in your daily work that AI could make easier? Do not try to reinvent everything. Build from there. Leadership in the age of AI means showing up with curiosity, not perfection. Connect with Travis Hahler Website: travishahler.com Book: Rethink Resistance, June 23rd on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and major booksellers LinkedIn: Travis Hahler Connect with Julie Riga Website: julieriga.com/lead Coaching: Leadership coaching and the ingredients for success in life and career Tools and Resources: https://stacklist.app/julieriga Subscribe to Stay On Course wherever you listen to podcasts Share this with leaders navigating transformation in the age of AI #stayoncourse #leadership #transformation #mindset #purposedriven Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Every parent wants confident kids.But what if confidence isn't something we can give our children? What if it isn't built through praise, encouragement, or constantly telling them how amazing they are?In this episode, I share why I believe confidence is actually built through competence.From learning to cook and make lunches, to walking to swim practice, taking public transit, climbing trees, doing chores, playing sports, and solving everyday problems, our kids build confidence when they are given opportunities to do things for themselves.I reflect on conversations with my own adult children, lessons from raising four kids, and why some of the small decisions we make as parents can have a much bigger impact than we realize.Because confidence isn't a feeling.It's evidence.It's the accumulated evidence that you've done hard things before and figured them out.And every time our kids do something for themselves, they collect another piece of evidence that they can handle life.

Join the Conversation at 303-477-5600 or text to 307-200-8222. Monday - Friday from 3 pm - 6 pm MT. https://RushToReason.com HOUR 1 Iran, Oil Markets, And The Skills We May Be Losing John Rush ignites a high-stakes hour, jumping from breaking news on the Iran ceasefire and oil shockwaves to the surprising truths the headlines don't tell you. What's really behind the market's wild moves—and are we missing the bigger picture? Then, he exposes how our love affair with technology may be erasing crucial life skills. From viral classroom fails with paper maps to real-world GPS disasters, John and his guests challenge you: If the grid went dark, could you survive—or would you be stranded? From global power plays to survival smarts, this hour will make you question whether modern convenience is costing us the skills we need most. Don't miss this eye-opening conversation! HOUR 2 From Championship Teams To Career Paths That Actually Work Hour 2 launches with John Rush and Richard Rush breaking down the Carolina Hurricanes' Stanley Cup triumph—revealing what separates champions from the rest and the high-stakes decisions behind every winning team. Plus, get the inside scoop on the World Cup, pro golf, and an eye-opening review of the 2026 Toyota Sienna Woodland Edition that might just change your mind about family vehicles. Next, Thomas Wicke of the Apprentice Academy shakes up the status quo by exposing the $50,000 mistake many students make by overlooking apprenticeships and hands-on career paths. Discover how his real-world approach lets young people test-drive careers before making life-changing commitments. Finally, a jaw-dropping bungee jumping tragedy in Brazil sparks urgent questions about risk, responsibility, and what we trust with our lives. Guest List with Timestamps 1:10 Richard Rush 14:38 - 2026 Toyota Sienna Woodland Edition Review 26:12 — Thomas Wicke - https://www.theapprenticeacademy.org/ HOUR 3 Scams, Smart Devices, Car Buying, and Common Sense Hour 3 kicks off with John Rush exposing the hidden dangers lurking in your smart devices—revealing how convenience could put your privacy at risk. With eye-opening tips on protecting your data, this hour will make you rethink what you welcome into your home. Then, John blows the whistle on car dealership tricks—from hidden fees to misleading deals—and arms you with must-know strategies to outsmart the system and save big. His decades of expertise could put thousands back in your pocket. Plus, hear the shocking true story of a Colorado woman who lost over $200,000 to scammers—John lays out the simple, life-saving steps to keep you and your loved ones safe from fraud. This hour is packed with essential advice you can't afford to miss.

Why is it so satisfying to watch a highly-skilled character complete their goals? And why can it be equally hilarious to watch an incompetent character bumble through a slew of screw-ups? In this episode, John and Craig discuss how to play with competence in your characters. We also say goodbye to our producer Drew Marquardt with a thoroughly embarrassing exit interview, and reveal our new producer. However, it's not really goodbye, because Drew will be staying on to work with John on an upcoming project (TBA). In our bonus segment for premium members, John and Craig deliberate on the question: Should you quit LOUDLY? Links: * The attack on competence by Iris Meredith * Scott Tenorman Must Die (South Park – Season 5, Episode 4) * Bartosz Ciechanowski's Curves and Surfaces * Rhubarb Breakfast Dessert by Melissa Clark * Easiest Citrus Roasted Rhubarb by "Kate Cooks" * Get your copy of the Scriptnotes book! * Get a Scriptnotes T-shirt! * Check out the Inneresting Newsletter * Become a Scriptnotes Premium member, or gift a subscription * Subscribe to Scriptnotes on YouTube * Follow Scriptnotes on Instagram and TikTok * John August on Bluesky and Instagram * Outro by Matthew Chilelli (send us yours!) * Scriptnotes is produced by Meredith Stedman and edited by Matthew Chilelli. Our intern is Lauren Loesberg. Email us at ask@johnaugust.com You can download the episode here.

Every generation says the next one is soft. Rob's dad said it. Dustin's dad said it. Now coaches are saying it about the athletes in their gyms right now. But before we accept the premise, it's worth asking a harder question: what if they're not softer at all? What if they're just more aware, more informed, and asking better questions than we're ready to answer?In this episode, Rob and Dustin take on the lazy version of the "today's athletes are soft" conversation and push toward something more useful — what coaches actually need to do differently when the people in front of them have more access, more options, and more questions than any generation before them.TopicsWhy "they're soft" is usually the wrong diagnosis — and what coaches miss when they stop thereThe difference between questions and questioning — and why Rob took it personally for yearsWhat COVID and social media actually broke (hint: it wasn't toughness — it was conflict resolution)How parents haven't really changed, but their access hasWhy coaches need to redefine toughness before they can teach it — Dustin's shift from calling out soft plays to catching tough onesThe Steve Magness two-part definition of team toughness: psychological safety + a real path to getting betterWhy the best marketer wins online, and what that means for how coaches teach their craft nowThe honest follow-up question: how much time are coaches spending on the 1% of 1% who bail?One Line Worth Thinking About"I don't think I've ever been harder on my guys from a practice, from a communication, from an accountability standpoint. And yet I don't think I've ever received more." — Dustin GalyonFor The Coach ListeningThree questions to take into your next staff meeting or solo drive home:When was the last time you trained conflict resolution like you train any other skill?What does tough actually look like in your program — and have you ever told your athletes specifically?Are you catching the tough plays, or only flagging the soft ones?About the Impactful Coaching ProjectThe Impactful Coaching Project develops coaches who coach the whole person. Built on the Three C's — Competence, Care, Constancy — ICP is the thought leader in coaching the 21st century athlete.Substack: impactfulcoachingproject.substack.comPodcast: beyondcoaching.alitu.comBeyond Coaching is produced by ICP with the support of Friends University.

Outline 00:00 - Intro 02:10 - London in the 1960s12:40 - From Oxford to Imperial College: David Mayne and the discrete-time Riccati equation 18:05 - The "global tour": Montenegro roads, hitch-hiking to Istanbul, and the San Francisco waterfront 22:30 - Feedback and causality between stochastic processes 31:15 - The system identification years 40:50 - Model complexity, the bias–variance trade-off, and concentration inequalities 52:05 - Adaptive control: living through a golden era 1:00:30 - McGill, George Zames, and CIFAR's "institute without walls," and COCOLOG 1:09:45 - Mean field games: the China connection, the cell-phone problem, and Nash Certainty Equivalence 1:20:15 - The Lasry–Lions simultaneous discovery 1:24:40 - From graphons to graphexons: sparse networks, Laplexions, and geometry 1:31:00 - Linear Stochastic Systems, Popper, and falsifiability 1:35:20 - Advice to young researchers 1:38:00 - OutroLinks Peter Caines' website: https://www.mcgill.ca/cim/caines Linear Stochastic Systems: https://epubs.siam.org/doi/book/10.1137/1.9781611974713  On the discrete-time matrix Riccati equation of optimal control: https://doi.org/10.1080/00207177008931892 Feedback between stationary stochastic processes: https://doi.org/10.1109/TAC.1975.1101008 Prediction-error identification methods for stationary stochastic processes: https://doi.org/10.1109/TAC.1976.1101304 Asymptotic normality of prediction-error estimators for approximate system models: https://doi.org/10.1109/CDC.1978.268066 Discrete-time multivariable adaptive control (Axelby Award): https://doi.org/10.1109/TAC.1980.1102363 Discrete-time stochastic adaptive control: https://doi.org/10.1137/0319052 25 seminal control papers of the 20th century: https://books.google.ca/books/about/Control_Theory.html?id=eVhGAAAAYAAJ COCOLOG: A conditional observer and controller logic for finite machines: https://epubs.siam.org/doi/10.1137/S0363012992226636 Hierarchical hybrid control systems: https://doi.org/10.1109/9.664153 On the hybrid optimal control problem: https://ieeexplore.ieee.org/document/4303244Bode Lecture: https://ieeecss.org/presentation/bode-lecture/mean-field-stochastic-control The cell-phone problem - Large population stochastic wireless power control: https://doi.org/10.1109/CDC.2003.1272542 Large-population stochastic dynamic games - McKean-Vlasov and the Nash Certainty Equivalence principle: https://projecteuclid.org/journals/communications-in-information-and-systems/volume-6/issue-3/Large-population-stochastic-dynamic-games--closed-loop-McKean-Vlasov/cis/1183728987.full Large-population cost-coupled LQG with nonuniform agents and decentralized ε-Nash equilibria: https://doi.org/10.1109/TAC.2007.904450 Social optima in mean field LQG control: https://doi.org/10.1109/TAC.2012.2183439 ε-Nash mean field games with major and minor agents: https://arxiv.org/abs/1209.5684 Graphon mean field games and their equations: https://doi.org/10.1137/20M136373X Mean field games on large sparse network limits - Laplexion dynamics on graphexons: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S240589632500388X Murray Wonham oral history: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8IBZyRo0vDkSupport the showPodcast infoPodcast website: https://www.incontrolpodcast.com/Apple Podcasts: https://tinyurl.com/5n84j85jSpotify: https://tinyurl.com/4rwztj3cRSS: https://tinyurl.com/yc2fcv4yYoutube: https://tinyurl.com/bdbvhsj6Facebook: https://tinyurl.com/3z24yr43Twitter: https://twitter.com/IncontrolPInstagram: https://tinyurl.com/35cu4kr4Acknowledgments and sponsorsThis episode was supported by the National Centre of Competence in Research on «Dependable, ubiquitous automation» and the IFAC Activity fund. The podcast benefits from the help of an incredibly talented and passionate team. Special thanks to L. Seward, E. Cahard, F. Banis, F. Dörfler, J. Lygeros, ETH studio and mirrorlake . Music was composed by A New Element.

  We all talk about how engineers deal with imposter syndrome--but we don't often talk about the experience of making things work "in the background." What is competence, and what do we do when competence isn't recognized? Justin Wilson (j2sw) joins Russ and Tom to discuss.   https://media.blubrry.com/hedge/media.blubrry.com/hedge/content.blubrry.com/hedge/hedge-308.mp3   download

说英语不自信，这段讲话让你彻底让找回自己很多小伙伴经常和我说，自己说英语的时候不太自信。想问我该怎么解决这个问题。今天分享一段非常棒的讲话，可以帮助你系统找到自信说英语的方法，快点学起来吧！New Words:mpetence /ˈkɒmpɪtəns/：n. 能力；胜任；专长confidence /ˈkɒnfɪdəns/：n. 自信；信心；信赖praise /preɪz/：n.&v. 表扬；夸赞；赞扬amazing /əˈmeɪzɪŋ/：adj. 了不起的；惊艳的；极好的develop /dɪˈveləp/：v. 培养；发展；提升skill /skɪl/：n. 技能；技艺；本事violinist /ˌvaɪəˈlɪnɪst/：n. 小提琴演奏者；小提琴家tennis /ˈtenɪs/：n. 网球；网球运动cook /kʊk/：v. 烹饪；做饭 n. 厨师dish /dɪʃ/：n. 盘子；菜肴function /ˈfʌŋkʃn/：v. 正常行事；运转 n. 功能individual /ˌɪndɪˈvɪdʒuəl/：n. 个人；个体 adj. 单独的Competence builds confidence, not praise.实力造就自信，而非夸奖。Like telling your kids they're amazing is not going to make them feel like they're amazing.一味夸赞孩子们有多优秀，并不能让他们真正觉得自己出色。It's the competence like helping them develop the skills.真正有用的是培养能力，帮他们习得各项本事。And those skills don't have to be that you're like a star violinist or tennis player.这些技能不必是成为明星小提琴手或者网球运动员那样的高超才艺。It can be that you know how to cook or put the dishes away.会做饭、收拾餐盘这类小事也完全可以。You know just just a functioning individual.说白了，只是做一个能独立打理生活、正常自立的普通人。更多卡卡老师分享公众号：卡卡课堂 卡卡老师微信：kakayingyu002送你一份卡卡老师学习大礼包，帮助你在英文学习路上少走弯路

Bill Kanasky, Jr., Ph.D. defines the competence trap with witnesses. Bill shares why there is often a perception that witnesses who are highly competent in their jobs will perform really well as witnesses during testimony and why this often isn't true. He describes several reasons why some witnesses who are highly skilled in their professional positions may not make good witnesses. Bill talks about having to break down and rebuild highly accomplished witnesses in order to get them ready for success at deposition.

Leisure · Chronically Low Competence

What if the problem isn't your discipline… but your stage of learning? After years of telling yourself “tomorrow will be different,” it can feel defeating when you keep ending up in the same patterns—behind on charts, emotionally exhausted, or struggling to show up the way you want to at home. In this episode, we unpack the Conscious Competence Learning Model and why sustainable change doesn't happen through shame, hustle, or trying harder. Whether you're learning emotional regulation, boundary-setting, time management, or simply how to stop numbing out after difficult shifts, this conversation will help you understand why growth feels so hard before it feels natural. We explore the 4 stages of learning: ✨ Unconscious Incompetence — you don't know what you don't know ✨ Conscious Incompetence — you finally see the problem, but don't know how to fix it yet ✨ Conscious Competence — you're doing the work, but it still takes effort ✨ Unconscious Competence — the habit becomes part of your identity Through relatable physician examples, emotional health insights, and practical mindset shifts, we discuss: Why awareness itself is progress How frustration can sabotage growth The hidden emotional toll of perfectionism Why habits feel “unnatural” before they become automatic The role of grace, repetition, and identity in lasting change How to stop expecting yourself to jump from beginner to expert overnight Because sustainable growth isn't about becoming perfect overnight—it's about learning how to build a life that actually works for you.

Confidence matters more in leadership than most people realize. In this episode of Remarkable TV, I'm sharing practical ways you can build confidence as a leader — not through ego or pretending, but through growth, progress, and intentional action. I'll walk you through: The confidence-competence loop Why confidence and skill reinforce each other How positive self-talk impacts leadership Why starting small matters How reflecting on progress builds momentum What organizations often miss when developing leaders One of the biggest lessons I've learned is this: confidence and competence build each other. The more progress we make, the more confidence we gain — and the more confidence we gain, the more willing we are to keep growing. A more confident leader is a more effective leader. If this episode is helpful, subscribe for more practical leadership ideas and conversations designed to help you become a more remarkable leader. My name is Kevin Eikenberry and I'm here to help you reach your goal as a leader and a human being with Remarkable TV and the Remarkable Leadership Podcast. I am also the Chief Potential Officer of The Kevin Eikenberry Group. We provide speaking, training, consulting, and coaching services to organizations who believe in investing in their most valuable assets – their people. Whether we are leading a training workshop, speaking to a group, facilitating a planning meeting, consulting with a leadership team, helping with team building, writing or developing products, our vision will be clear in everything we do – We want to be Your Leadership Help Button. Learn more about our offerings: ➡️ FREE NEWSLETTERs: Sign up for any of our newsletters: https://kevineikenberry.com/newsletters ➡️ LEADERSHIP WORKSHOPS: Sign up for any of our online workshops to help you become a better leader: https://kevineikenberry.com/store/?product_type=Workshops ➡️ SPEAKING: Learn more about our Speaking opportunities for your next event: https://kevineikenberry.com/how-we-can-help-speaking/  Connect with Kevin Eikenberry on Social Media:  https://kevineikenberry.com https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevineikenberry https://instagram.com/kevineikenberry https://www.facebook.com/KevinEikenberryFanPage/ About Kevin Eikenberry: Kevin Eikenberry is the Chief Potential Officer of the Kevin Eikenberry Group, a world expert on leadership development, best-selling author, sought-after speaker, popular blogger, husband and dad, a fan of Purdue athletics and antique tractors (especially John Deere's). About The Remarkable Leadership Podcast: The Remarkable Leadership Podcast with Kevin Eikenberry is dedicated to all things leadership. Twice a week Kevin shares his thoughts about leadership development and ideas to help you lead more confidently and make a bigger difference for those you lead. He also has weekly conversations with leadership experts discussing a wide range of topics including teamwork, organizational culture, facilitating change, personal and organizational development, human potential and more.  

You can listen wherever you get your podcasts or check out the fully edited transcript of our interview at the bottom of this post.In this episode of The Peaceful Parenting Podcast, my guest is Dr. Justin Coulson, an Australian parenting expert and father of 6 who has his PhD in psychology and is the author of 10 books on parenting and the co-host of the Happy Families podcast with his wife, Kylie. We discuss the psychology behind peaceful parenting, including how self-determination theory explains kids' challenging behavior. Dr. Justin also shared his three E's of discipline.Know someone who might appreciate this episode? Share it with them!And if you love the podcast, FREE ways to help us out:1- Rate and review the podcast in your podcast player app2- “Like” this post by tapping the heart icon ♥️3- Share this with a friend. THANK YOU!We talk about:* 1:45 – Introduction to Dr. Justin Coulson and his personal parenting turning pointHow struggles with anger and discipline led him to rethink everything and study psychology.* 08:20 – Learning to regulate ourselves, practicing repair, and growing over time.* 15:50 – Why peaceful parenting starts with the parent's self-awareness and regulation.* 19:50 – Understanding behavior through compassion and curiosity.* 20:50 – The HALTS frameworkHow hunger, anger, loneliness, tiredness, and stress impact children's behavior.* 23:00 – Self-determination theory and parenting* 33:00 – The 3 E's of Effective Discipline* 41:50 – How to use the 3 E's in everyday parenting moments.Real-life examples: screens, sibling conflict & collaboration* 49:00 – Building trust and the “goodwill bank” with kidsWhy collaborative parenting pays off when tough limits are needed.* 53:30 – Advice to his younger parenting self: “soft eyes”A powerful reflection on kindness, connection, and showing up with compassion.* 56:30 – Where to find Dr. Justin CoulsonHis podcast, books, and upcoming work on boys and healthy masculinity.Resources mentioned in this episode:* Dr. Justin's website and podcast* Yoto Screen Free Audio Book Player* The Peaceful Parenting Membership* Evelyn & Bobbie brasConnect with Sarah Rosensweet:* Instagram* Facebook Group* YouTube* Website* Join us on Substack* Newsletter* Book a short consult or coaching session callxx Sarah and CoreyYour peaceful parenting team- click here for a free short consult or a coaching sessionVisit our website for free resources, podcast, coaching, membership and more!>> Please support us!!! Please consider becoming a supporter to help support our free content, including The Peaceful Parenting Podcast, our free parenting support Facebook group, and our weekly parenting emails, “Weekend Reflections” and “Weekend Support” - plus our Flourish With Your Complex Child Summit (coming back in the summer for the 3rd year!) All of this free support for you takes a lot of time and energy from me and my team. If it has been helpful or meaningful for you, your support would help us to continue to provide support for free, for you and for others.In addition to knowing you are supporting our mission to support parents and children, you get the podcast ad free and access to a monthly ‘ask me anything' session.Our sponsors:YOTO: YOTO is a screen free audio book player that lets your kids listen to audiobooks, music, podcasts and more without screens, and without being connected to the internet. No one listening or watching and they can't go where you don't want them to go and they aren't watching screens. BUT they are being entertained or kept company with audio that you can buy from YOTO or create yourself on one of their blank cards. Check them out HEREEvelyn & Bobbie bras: If underwires make you want to rip your bra off by noon, Evelyn & Bobbie is for you. These bras are wire-free, ultra-soft, and seriously supportive—designed to hold you comfortably all day without pinching, poking, or constant adjusting. Check them out HERESarah: Hey, everyone. Welcome back to another episode of the Peaceful Parenting Podcast. Today's guest is Dr. Justin Coulson. He's an Australian parenting expert with a PhD in psychology, the author of 10 books on parenting, the co-host of the Happy Families podcast with his wife, Kylie, the father of six children, and, last but not least, grandfather of one.We discuss the psychology behind peaceful parenting, including how self-determination theory explains kids' challenging behavior. Dr. Justin also shared his three E's of discipline, which I just loved.If you like this episode, please share it with a friend so more parents can learn about peaceful parenting. If you're a fan of the podcast, you can help us out not only by sharing it, but by leaving a review and a five-star rating in your podcast player app. While you're there, don't forget to follow the show so you don't miss an episode.If you'd like to support us even more, you can become a supporter on Substack to help us offset the cost of making the show. We'll put a link in the show notes.Let's meet Dr. Justin. I hope you enjoy this conversation and get as much out of his insights as I did.Sarah: Hello, Dr. Justin, and welcome to the podcast.Dr. Justin: Sarah, I'm so glad to be with you. Thanks for having me on.Sarah: Yeah, and it's morning for you, evening for me—nice—and I'm just glad that we could make this time to talk to each other. I really appreciate it. Thank you. So, could you just tell us a little bit about who you are and what you do?Dr. Justin: Sure. I grew up on the east coast of Australia, about an hour north of Sydney. Geographically, that kind of locates where I was. I was the teenage boy that every parent hopes they will not have. I don't think I was a particularly bad kid, but I certainly wasn't a good kid.My parents were spending a small fortune—I'm a 1975 baby, I turned 50 last year—but this was in the late '80s and early '90s. My parents were spending so much money to send me to a private school. Because we were on the coast—a very quintessentially Australian thing—I was wagging school.Do you say “wagging school” in Canada? Is that a term Canadians use?Sarah: No, but I think we get the context. I think it means not going to school.Dr. Justin: Yeah, I was truant. They thought I was there, but I wasn't.Sarah: We say skipping.Dr. Justin: I was skipping school. Okay, yeah. We call it a school wag.So I would go to school in the morning and get my name marked off in roll call. Then I would sneak out of the school. Across the road from the school, there were bushes—kind of a forest, or whatever you might call it in Canada and America. I would get changed out of my tie, long pants, and black school shoes, throw on some board shorts and a T-shirt.My surfboard was stashed in the bush, and I'd grab it from the hiding place. Then I'd jump on a bus, go to the beach, and surf all day. Afterward, I'd get a bus back to school in the afternoon, change back into my uniform, and race into the school just in time to get my name marked off, looking like I'd been at school all day.This was in the days before schools communicated with parents via email and text, because none of that existed. I was able to get away with it.So I finished high school. I scored in the bottom 15%—Sarah: Goodness.Dr. Justin: Not just my class, but of the entire state of New South Wales. My parents were devastated.I didn't care. I wanted to have a media career. I wanted to be a radio announcer. So I got into radio. If you've ever listened to the radio—and no offense to radio people—you know you don't have to do well at school to be good at radio. You just have to be able to sit on the microphone and say things that make sense.I knew I could do that, so school didn't matter to me. I didn't care about it. That's what I did.But this is where it intersects with parenting.About 10 years into my radio career, my wife and I were having some challenges, particularly around my parenting. We had a threenager and a newborn baby.That three-year-old—I had always held the opinion that my children would do as they were told, and if they didn't, I would make sure they understood that I was the father and that their job was to do as I said.So I was very punitive. I basically made all of the parenting mistakes you can imagine when I would get angry, frustrated, and ill-tempered. It's not that I was a bad father—I spent a lot of high-quality time loving my kids—but I was also really short-fused and highly aggressive.Frankly, I went from threatening to hitting really fast. You call it spanking; we would call it smacking. I was very, very quick to smack or spank my three-year-old, and it wasn't working.After one particularly bad incident where things escalated, I really did lose control. I didn't just spank her once. There were multiple spankings. This was like a 10-minute escalation session where it just got worse and worse and worse.My wife was out at the time. When she came home, I said to Kylie, “I'm a bad father. I'm not doing this well. I'm making a lot of mistakes, and here's what happened while you were out.”Full confession: Kylie has always been this wonderfully supportive wife—very kind, gentle, compassionate, soft-spoken, thoughtful, considerate, empathic—all of those beautiful attributes that I prize and treasure in my good wife.She was none of those things that day.She had fire in her eyes and said, “You are not living up to the father that I hoped you would be, and you're also not living up to the husband I need you to be.”And it took me back, because I was already feeling downcast. I felt like I was failing anyway, and she just—it was like she picked up a great big lump of wood and whacked me over the head with it and said, “No.”Of course, she didn't actually do that, but that's how it felt. It felt physical. Visceral. Like, Ow. This is serious.I left my radio career shortly thereafter.I was working at one of the biggest radio stations in Australia at the time, and I gave up all the backstage passes with global superstars and hanging out with record company executives at the best restaurants, eating their food so they could bribe me to play their music on the radio station. I went back to school.I became a full-time student. I worked part-time at three different jobs while studying full-time. I'd sleep under the desk at university so I could do the study and the work—Sarah: No surfing this time?Dr. Justin: No surfing this time, no. I was just so committed to it.After eight and a half years of full-time study, I graduated with a doctorate. I had to do a couple of other qualifications first, including a psychological science degree. I graduated with a doctorate in psychology and became a university lecturer.Along the way, Sarah, we went from having our two kids at that point to having our third child in my first year of study, our fourth child in my fifth year of study, and our fifth child while I was doing my doctorate. Shortly after I left the university setting, stopped lecturing, and started writing books and giving talks, we had our sixth child.So we're the parents—Sarah: Amazing.Dr. Justin: —of six daughters. Today, they range in age from 12—the youngest—to the oldest, who is in her mid-to-late 20s. She and her husband have a baby now. They've been married for a few years.Sarah: Wow. You're a grandpa.Dr. Justin: A grand—I'm a grandpa. We have a two-and-a-half-year-old grandbaby, four adult children, one in her teens, and a 12-year-old.So that's kind of my very short version of the journey.Along the way, I've written a bunch of books. We've got a TV show in Australia called Parental Guidance. We've had three seasons of that show on primetime TV. I've got a website and all the things that you'd expect—a podcast and so on.Sarah: What did you do when you had that aha moment—that realization that you weren't being the kind of dad you wanted to be, and your wife also agreed that you weren't being the kind of dad she wanted you to be? What did you change?Because you just mentioned that you spent eight and a half years going back to school. I imagine that you made some changes before you had six kids. So what did you do right away, maybe for anyone listening who can relate to those feelings of rage and feeling triggered by your child?Dr. Justin: Sarah, the first thing I'd say is that there was no linear change, and there were no immediate changes, because I didn't know what to do.I was unskilled. I was uneducated. I didn't know anything about psychology, and I clearly didn't know anything about parenting.But I found a mentor. I have a faith background, and there was a writer who wrote eloquently and compassionately. I just felt like he understood me, and he became a mentor to me.I also discovered a guy called Alfie Kohn. You might be familiar with Alfie Kohn.Sarah: Oh, Alfie Kohn was the first thing I ever read about parenting—Dr. Justin: Oh, great.Sarah: —before I even had kids. And he was on the podcast last year, which felt like a full-circle moment between how influential—I told him on the podcast, “You have probably had the biggest influence on me—not only in my parenting, but in my life's direction—of any single person out there.”So, sorry, fan-girl moment. I'm right there with you with Alfie Kohn.Dr. Justin: Yeah. I've gotten to know Alfie over the years as my academic career advanced and I began to understand where he took his research from.I read his book Punished by Rewards—I think it was a 1993—Sarah: That was my first one too.Dr. Justin: Yeah, it's a 1993 publication or something.Sarah, it was just so influential.What happened was, I was doing my university degree and learning things, and honestly, I'd be sitting there thinking, Hang on, the things they're teaching me in these university courses seem to clash with what Alfie Kohn taught me in Punished by Rewards.So I spent a lot of time in the notes section at the back—you know, all the references nobody ever reads?Sarah: Mm-hmm.Dr. Justin: As I went through them, I discovered researchers named Edward Deci and Richard Ryan from the University of Rochester in upstate New York.They had developed a theory known as self-determination theory.A large portion of Alfie Kohn's work is based on self-determination theory.So I really dug deep into that. I still love Alfie, but I moved very much into the academic side because I became a university lecturer and really got into the nitty-gritty of understanding the deepest depths of what self-determination theory is all about. That has become the foundation of the work that I do.And to your question: nothing is linear when you are trying to make improvements.Whether you're trying to change your diet, exercise, get your finances in order, or improve your relationships, you have insights. You have moments where you think, Oh my goodness, this is what I need to do. I need to show up with warmth on my face and soft eyes.And then three hours later, one of your children does something, and you forget what soft eyes look and feel like. You look at them with hard eyes, frustration in your voice, and short, clipped sentences.Then half an hour later, you think, Oh, self-awareness. I missed that.So it's this gradual process: two steps forward, one step back. Three steps forward, one step back. Four steps forward, three steps back. Eight steps forward, no steps back.Over the years, I had this beautiful experience—and maybe you've had a similar experience in your family as you've raised your kids.We were maybe in my third or fourth year of study. My wife has an early childhood background. She knows child development. She knows what kids need.She was a little skeptical about a lot of the things I was starting to talk about and discover as I went through university and got into the depths of what the research meant—comparing and contrasting it with what was mainstream, but actually not always quite right.We had some tension around how we should respond to the children. I was moving away from that authoritarian bent and developing ideas around exploring their world more.One night, I came home from university a little late. It was probably around 9:00 p.m. Our three children were still awake.As I drove into the driveway, all the lights in the house were on. The windows were open. Looking through the living room window, I could tell the house was—to put it politely—a mess.And as I stepped into the house, the kids—it was just awful.I walked over to Kylie and said, “Honey, it looks like it's been a pretty tough day.”I was trying to be compassionate and empathic. I was really trying to do what psychology says is the right thing to do.Kylie looked at me without hesitation and said, “Don't give me any of that psychology crap. I've had the worst day in the world.”Then she stormed out and said, “You fix it,” and walked into the bedroom and closed the door.Again, this is not how my wife usually is, but it had been a really rough day. The kids were feral. The house was a mess.I looked at my priorities. I sat down with the child who was struggling the most and worked with her for two or three minutes. She calmed down, I gave her a little food, and put her to bed.Within about 20 minutes, I had all three kids in bed, and I was so proud of myself.I stepped into the kitchen and started tidying up. I thought, I'll just give Kylie some space.After another 30 or 40 minutes of tidying, I stepped into the living room and said, “Honey, I know you're really upset. It's been a pretty tough day. I wasn't trying to be judgy or anything.”And she said, “It's fine for you. You're not dealing with it all day. You walk in and think you can just snap your fingers and everything's fine.”Then she looked at me and said, “But tonight, you walked in and it feels like you snapped your fingers and everything's fine.”And we had this beautiful conversation where she said, “I've been resenting the things you've been trying to tell me because it felt like you were telling me I was wrong.“But I've been watching, and I'm actually seeing that the things you're doing are working, and our family is feeling better.”It took four or five years to get there, Sarah.It's not like I had this epiphany—I'm a bad father, I need to change—and suddenly I was a good dad.There were many embarrassing, shameful moments after that epiphany where I still made terrible decisions and treated the children badly.Even today, I still lose my temper, say things I shouldn't, and get frustrated, because kids are kids and we're fallible humans.But we call parenting parenting because it's about us. If it were about children, we'd call it childrening.Which sounds silly, right?Dr. Justin: But what I've really discovered is that if I can learn how to regulate myself—high emotions equal low intelligence—then I can regulate my emotions, turn them up or down appropriately for the context, and keep them in harmony with my long-term goals, which are to have loving, kind relationships with my children.If I can do that, I'm going to approach them with a tremendously different focus than I will if I'm looking for a short-term fix.And that is something—Anger is a habit. Yelling is a habit. Time-out is a habit. Reward charts are a habit.We can create other habits. We just have to understand the processes and principles behind those habits and then practice them, like we practice a song on the piano, until we finally get it right.Sarah: I love that.So you and Kylie really had a journey—a back-and-forth dance of your own processes and your own development.I do love how you say it's really about us. Whenever I'm working with clients, after a couple of sessions they'll say, “You know what? This isn't even about my kid. This is just about me.”Dr. Justin: Yes. Yes.Sarah: Nobody wants to believe that at first, because it's so much easier to think, I've just got to change them and what they're doing.But it's really all about what we're bringing to the moment and what we're bringing to the relationship.Dr. Justin: I get in trouble sometimes for being overly provocative and saying things that are insensitive, so a quick warning:I want to say what I'm about to say with all the compassion in the world and all the tenderness and care in the world, because I work with people every single day who are dealing with exactly the struggles you're talking about.I want to step into the world of neurodiversity—ADHD, autism, trauma—those kinds of areas.What we're talking about applies there as well. It's just harder.Sarah: Mm-hmm.Dr. Justin: But ultimately, if I'm raising an ADHD child or a child who's been through a traumatic experience, once again, parenting is not about them. It's about how I show up for them.So I can say, “Well, my child's like that,” or, “I'm like this because of the diagnosis,” or because of the label, or because of the trauma, or because of the neural networks doing what they're doing.I can say all of those things, and many people do. It's understandable, and I have all the compassion in the world for them when they do.But the key thing I want to highlight is that in spite of all of those challenges your child might be facing—or even that you might be facing—today begins now.It begins with what you put on your face and what you think in your mind.If we can soften our features and go to our children with kindness and compassion while still holding appropriate limits—or working with them to develop appropriate limits—then what we can say is:“Yes, that bad thing happened,” or, “Yes, we are dealing with this difficulty, so what are we going to do about it?”We can fall into the I can't do anything way of thinking, which is really ineffective and doesn't help at all.Or we can step into I have this incredible thing psychologists call agency, or self-efficacy, where I can make a decision now, and if we work on it, we can actually improve things.It might be a longer, harder road. There may be more obstacles to climb over than a typical family without those challenging circumstances.It may be harder.But we can always improve.I never want to be the person who puts limits on what kids can do or what parents can do.If we change our language, change our focus, and recognize that this is a long game—Sarah: Mm-hmm.Dr. Justin: —which requires sustained effort every single day, it's extraordinary the progress we can make and the changes we can create in our home and our family.Sarah: For sure. Yeah.And unfortunately, it's a long game, right? Because I think today we always want quick answers and solutions.Really, it's just showing up every day as best you can and repairing when you don't show up the way you wish you had.And I think another really important part of it—which you were talking around a little bit—is trying to understand our child's experience and see things from their perspective.I was just talking to a client about that today:What's the most emotionally generous explanation you can come up with for their behavior?Because we don't actually know why anyone does anything, since we're not in their brain.But we often jump to, They're being rude on purpose, or They're trying to annoy me.Really, if we can think, Well, I don't know why they're doing this, but there's probably a reason, because kids want to be good. They want to be connected with us.And just reminding ourselves that they're not giving us a hard time—they're having a hard time.That actually makes it easier, I think, to show up as your best, most compassionate self—with, as you say, soft eyes and warm features.Dr. Justin: Yeah.No child wakes up in the morning thinking, Today's the day. I'm just going to ruin everything.This is the perfect opportunity. My parents are tired and frazzled. There's a cost-of-living crisis. There are all these challenges happening, and if ever there was a moment—it's now. I'm going to do it today.They don't wake up thinking that.Like you said—and you said it so perfectly—kids really do want to please us.I know some parents listening to me say that right now are thinking, No, no. My child does not want to please me.And so the question becomes: Why? Why are they struggling?And maybe this is a nice way for me to bring in some of the principles I learned as I went deeper into self-determination theory.There are a couple of times when children are almost guaranteed to be challenging, and this has nothing to do with self-determination theory. This is just general psychology and wellbeing.I always think of Germany. A police officer tells you to stop, but they don't say the word stop because they're German.In German, the word for stop is halt—H-A-L-T.So we add an S to the end, and the acronym becomes:Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired, or Stressed.Sarah: Mm-hmm.Dr. Justin: Those are the five times when you can all but guarantee your children are not going to be doing well.If they are hungry, get some food into them—ideally a little protein, because it's satiating and helps them feel full quickly.If they're angry, then we've got to remember: high emotions equal low intelligence.You can't think straight in a high emotional state.So our job is to get curious, not furious, because if we fight fire with fire, we end up with a scorched-earth policy and everything gets burned.Dr. Justin: Lonely.I could be sitting right next to you, Sarah, and feel disconnected and lonely—Sarah: Mm-hmm.Dr. Justin: —even if we were very close.Our children are sometimes literally sitting at our kitchen bench, and they feel alone. They feel a little lost. Because of the way we're responding to them—with hard commands, correction, and direction rather than connection—they feel lonely.Tired.I don't even need to explain that.Even as adults, I don't know any couple who, at the end of witching hour—or whatever you might call it in North America, that 5:00 to 7:00 p.m. stretch when the kids—Sarah: Yeah.Dr. Justin: —are just oof…It's the end of that period, and you're exhausted, the kids are exhausted, and you look at your husband or wife and say, “You know what? We are so tired. We're shattered. But boy, are we nailing it tonight.”Nobody ever says that when they're tired—Sarah: Yeah.Dr. Justin: —because you're not nailing it. You're just hanging in there.And it's the same with kids.Then the S is for stressed, and that includes sickness, because sickness is a stress on the body as well.Those five indicators are going to let you know when your child is likely to be challenging, and I think they're really good to watch out for.But if we go a little deeper and talk about self-determination theory, it says that each of us has these needs.You have them, Sarah, and I have them, and our children have them—even your mother-in-law has them.We have three basic psychological needs.When we're in environments where those needs are supported, oh my goodness, we thrive. These are environments we're drawn to and attracted to. We approach them with a smile on our face and can't wait to be there.But if the environment is what researchers call need-thwarting or need-frustrating—meaning it frustrates and thwarts those needs—then we avoid it.Sarah: Mm-hmm.Dr. Justin: Or, if we're in those environments, we act in ways that are challenging.So the basic psychological needs are:Number one: a sense of relationship, or relatedness. That's the technical term they use.Relatedness is a sense of mutual belonging.Sarah: So would it be similar to mattering? Like you feel like you matter to somebody?Dr. Justin: Yeah. There's been a lot of talk recently about mattering.But it's reciprocal mattering. It's not just one-way.It's I matter to you, but you matter to me.Sarah: Yeah.Dr. Justin: Let me use Mother's Day as an example.We just had Mother's Day in Australia at the start of May.If I've got a great relationship with my mother-in-law, and it's Mother's Day, I'm probably going to spend the morning with my wife and family while my children celebrate their mum. Then maybe at lunchtime, we head over to the in-laws to celebrate my wife's mum.If I feel like that relationship need is supported at my mother-in-law's—meaning there's mutual belonging, I matter to her, she matters to me, we enjoy one another's company, and it feels good—I'm going to say:“Great. Let's get in the car. Let's go. What do we need to do?”But if I'm going to a need-frustrating environment—if there's tension, antagonism, snide remarks, eye rolls, silence, defensiveness, or wounds from bad things that happened in the past—that environment doesn't feel good to me.So I'm going to say to Kylie:“Honey, why don't you take the kids to your mum's? Have a great lunch. We've made a big mess this morning, and I think the best thing I can do for your Mother's Day”—and I'll frame it nicely, of course—“is stay home, tidy the house, clean up the kitchen, get everything ready, and put dinner on for tonight so you can have your perfect Mother's Day dinner. I'll see you in four hours.”And then I send her out the door.Why?Because my in-laws' home has become a need-thwarting or need-frustrating environment. I just don't want to be there.And if I am there, I'm going to be sullen and sulky. I might try my best for half an hour and then say, “Oh, this is too hard,” and retreat—Sarah: Or text. The adult version of misbehavior.Dr. Justin: Yes, exactly. Exactly.But if I'm a child in a need-thwarting or need-frustrating environment, I'm going to get into fights with the kids I don't like.Or I'm going to say, “I don't want to go to school because everyone picks on me because I don't regulate my behavior properly because I've got ADHD.”Right?So school becomes a place I don't want to go.Or maybe you have a faith background and your child doesn't have any friends at church.Or you've signed them up for soccer, but they don't know anyone on the team.And they're saying, “Yeah, but I don't want to go.”It all comes down to relationship.Relationship is the basic psychological need that's being thwarted.Now, the second basic psychological need is competence.Competence, I would describe as feeling like I can do the thing I'm being asked to do.Sarah: Or that I want to do.Dr. Justin: Yeah. We'll get to want to in just a second, because want-to is the third basic psychological need—autonomy.So stay with me on competence for a second.Competence is capability. Capacity.It's not even necessarily about being able to do something—it's about feeling like you're making progress toward the goal.Let's say I'm joining acrobatics and trying to learn how to do a handstand.That's really tricky. It's a tough skill.If I show up every week to acrobatics, even if I've got great friends there—so my relationship need is supported—and I love my coach, but every time I try to do a handstand my shoulders buckle, my elbows aren't straight, my form is wrong, I fall over, or I can't stay up…After four or five or six weeks, I'm going to say:“I don't like this anymore. I'm out.”I had a daughter who wanted to come cycling with me.I'm a really keen cyclist. I ride on the road. I'm a middle-aged man in Lycra.But I also ride on the velodrome.You've seen those velodrome bikes at the Olympics—the indoor track where they go around and around and around.You might have noticed that after they finish the race, they keep pedaling and do another 10 laps.The reason is twofold.Number one: there are no brakes on those bikes.And second: they use what's called a fixed gear, meaning that when the wheels are spinning, the pedals are spinning.If you stop pedaling, you're going to get thrown over the handlebars because the wheels are still moving, which means the pedals are still moving, even if you try to stop them.So you just have to keep riding until the bike slows down.My daughter wanted to come to Friday night velodrome racing with me.We didn't have the money, but we spent all this cash on a bike, the Lycra, the helmet, the special shoes—it cost a lot, and I was a poor university student.But my daughter wanted to cycle with me, and I wasn't going to miss that opportunity. So we sacrificed and made it happen.Unfortunately, she was competing against girls who had been riding for four, five, or six years.For the first few weeks, she gave it a good go, but she was losing by several laps every race.After about a month, she said:“Dad, I don't want to do this anymore.”And my response was:“But I've spent all this money.”But what was really going on was that as much as she liked the girls and the atmosphere, she didn't feel competent—Sarah: Mm-hmm.Dr. Justin: —and she didn't see progress.She didn't feel like she was ever going to master the activity, so her motivation and wellbeing plummeted.Cycling became a need-thwarting environment for her.Whether it's piano, violin, rock climbing, cycling, swimming, math, PE class—it doesn't matter.If your kids don't feel like they can do the thing, they're going to push back.They're going to say:“This is too hard. I don't like it.”They won't use these exact words, but what they're really saying is:“This is a need-frustrating environment for me. I don't like it. I don't want to be there.”And then they start to act out.My mom got to the stage with me as a 13-year-old boy where she was physically holding me by the arm and dragging me into my piano lessons.Dr. Justin: Which brings me to my third and final basic psychological need, which is autonomy.A lot of people hear the word autonomy and think it means freedom—that kids can do whatever they want. They think it means independence.That's not what autonomy means, certainly not in the strict scientific form we're talking about within this theory.Rather, autonomy comes down to identifying the value of an activity and therefore endorsing the actions required to do the activity.See, if I, as a 12-year-old, looked at piano and thought:This is going to be a lifelong skill that will bring me joy, that I'll be able to share with others, that I can use in service of my family and community. If I can play piano or keyboard, I could be in a band. I could do all of these things.If I identified the value in the activity, then I would endorse the work required to learn it.So autonomy is not about freedom and independence. It's about choice based on values.That's a lot when you're thinking about three-, four-, and five-year-olds, but not necessarily—Sarah: No, I love that.We talk about that all the time in my communities—how important it is for kids to have autonomy.And I think you can have autonomy even when kids can't be independent, right?Because you can't have a four-year-old who's independent, but you can have a four-year-old who can make decisions that matter.Dr. Justin: Yes, yes.And that decision goes well beyond, Do you want to wear the blue suit or the green one?Sarah: I'll quote our friend Alfie Kohn. He says, “Kids should have the ability to make decisions that make adults gulp a little bit.”Dr. Justin: I love it. Yes. Beautiful.Let me give an adult version of this, and then I'll swing it back into childhood, because sometimes parents hear this and think, This isn't quite computing for me.In Canada, you drive on the right-hand side of the road.Sarah: Mm-hmm.Dr. Justin: And it's true that if you choose to drive on the left-hand side of the road, the authorities will probably get involved. You may cause harm to somebody. You could even end up in prison.But even in the middle of the night, when nobody's on the road, I can't imagine there are too many Canadians who get in the car and think:Tonight's the night. Nobody's watching. I'm gonna drive on the left.You are being absolutely controlled by the government and by the law. You're driving on the right-hand side of the road.But because you identify the value in driving on the right-hand side of the road, nobody has to compel you to do it.You just do it because you endorse the idea that driving on the right is safer. It's what you need to do.So our job with our children is twofold.First, when it comes to these basic psychological needs, we want to help them be in environments—or create environments—where those needs are supported.We want to send them to a school where they have good relationships, where somebody says, “Hey, come sit with us,” where teachers know them by name and smile when they see them and are excited to support them.A school where they're able to experience progress—which might mean less emphasis on grades and more emphasis on developing capability.And a school where they feel like they have some say in where they're going and what they're doing.Rather than being forced to attend a school like I was when I was a teenager, they get to say:“No, I want to go to that school because that's where my friends are.”Or:“That's where the teachers help me feel good.”Or:“That's where my interests lie.”That's the basic psychological-needs concept.Now let's bring that into discipline, which is what started this whole conversation.Based on this theory—and I guess it ties back to a lot of what Alfie Kohn has said as well—I developed a little model that's really easy to memorize and even easier to enact.I call it the Three E's of Effective Discipline.The Three E's of Effective Discipline are need-supportive.If you look at the root of the word discipline, it comes from the idea that we teach, guide, and instruct—that we show the way to follow.Sarah: Mm-hmm.Dr. Justin: But if you look at the modern definition of discipline, the modern definition is punish.Punish means exact retribution. It means hurt. It means make someone pay a price.Sarah: Make people feel bad on purpose.Dr. Justin: Yeah. That's exactly right.And I'm interested in disciplining our kids, not punishing our kids.Punishment is need-thwarting, right?If you make someone feel bad on purpose, there goes the relationship. They feel incompetent, and you've taken away their autonomy.So standard discipline strategies—whether it's time-out, spanking, yelling, withdrawing privileges, taking away the iPad, bribery—all of those standard discipline practices trample over basic psychological needs.We've got to come up with something better.So I developed the Three E's of Effective Discipline, which are basically this:On a beautiful bed of empathy, we explore, we explain, and we empower.Sarah: Ooh, I love that.Dr. Justin: Explore basically means I sit down with my child at an appropriate time.Because we always try to fix things right here, right now.Sometimes we need to, but often intervention simply to make sure people and property aren't hurt—that's all you need.Then you can say to your child:“We'll have a chat about this later when nobody's got a head full of steam.”Kick it down the road.You don't have to fix things right here, right now. Most of the time, it's just not necessary.So once everyone is calm, you explore.You say:“Hey, I've noticed there's been a lot of tension in our home lately between you and your brother.”Or:“Have you noticed that for the last few weeks we've had so much conflict about screens?”And your child says, “Yeah.”And you say:“I just want to listen because parenting's about parents, right? I must be getting something wrong here. Can you help me understand what I'm missing? Where am I going wrong? What's the real problem from your perspective?”Now, there are three things that make this better.Number one: never do it with an audience.Kids always want to save face. They don't feel competent when we start these conversations in front of other people.Number two: have some treats.Because once you're feeding them, they're like:“Oh, I'm not in trouble. We're just chatting, and there are cookies,” or a thick shake, or something like that.And number three: take notes.When you're trying to solve problems—and that's really what discipline is—The Three E's of Effective Discipline are about problem-solving.Discipline—meaning helping, teaching, guiding, instructing—is really about solving problems.So if I want to solve problems effectively in my home—if I want to discipline my children well—I'm trying to say:“Where are you coming from? What am I missing?”When you take notes on what your kids are saying, it's amazing how much information they give you because they realize:You're really listening to me.Sarah: Yeah. You're taking me seriously. You're writing down what I say.Dr. Justin: They're blown away by it.So they'll tell you a bunch of stuff.Now, every now and then they won't. Sometimes they'll shrug and say, “I don't know.”And you can say:“Well, if you don't know, that's fine. But if you did know…”This drives kids crazy, but it's my favorite sentence.“If you did know, what do you think the answer would be?”Sarah: Mm-hmm.Dr. Justin: And they roll their eyes.“Well, I don't know. That's what I said. If I knew, I'd tell you, but I don't know.”And I say:“I know you don't know, and I understand that if you did know, you would tell me. But if you did know, what would you tell me?”Sarah: I love that.Dr. Justin: They get this feeling—it's like this horrible psychological trick where:I don't know the answer, but if I had to come up with one, I guess I'd say this…And now the conversation starts.You get momentum.Sarah: You Jedi mind-trick them.Dr. Justin: Yeah. It's beautiful.And you write it down.At no point are you allowed to interrupt.At no point are you allowed to tell them they're wrong.At no point are you allowed to respond with your adult wisdom.You just listen.Sarah: Okay, and we're still on explore?Still on the first E?Dr. Justin: We're still on the first E.You make all these notes, and once it sounds like they've told you everything, you say:“All right. So what you're telling me is…”And then you read the notes back.This is the oldest psychological strategy in the book—I'm not saying anything new here.If they say, “Yes, that's what I'm saying,” you say:“All right. Great. I've got it.”If they say no, then you say:“Oh, what have I missed? How did I get this wrong? Clarify it for me.”And they give you more information.But there's a really valuable question at the end.When they say, “Yes, that's what I'm saying,” you ask:“Fantastic. Is there anything else?”Sarah: Mm-hmm.Dr. Justin: The power of asking that extra question is profound.It forces them to go deeper.Sometimes they'll say, “No, that's it.”But often, their first answers are shallow answers to get you off their back.They're thinking:I'm telling you what I think you want to hear.But when you say:“Got it. You're happy with this answer? Fantastic. Is there anything else going on?”That's when they look at you and think:Oh—you're actually serious about this. You really care.Sarah: And you're really listening to me.Dr. Justin: Yeah.And it's profound what children will give you after you ask, “Is there anything else?”Once you've got everything written down, confirmed, and you're clear, the next step is explain.Dr. Justin: Now, there are a couple of things around explain.Explain is basically the part where you tell them what they need to know. This is the parent bit.But all too often, we step into lecturing, and the kids fall asleep. They're like, “Oh, here we go again. I thought this was going to be different, but it's no different after all.”So there are a couple of things we need to get right here.Number one: if you're going to explain anything to your children, my recommendation is that you keep it to less than 20 seconds.Now, there's no science around this. This is just my experience in talking with parents and kids in my own family. I find that if you talk for more than 10 to 20 seconds, kids really do tune out, and it goes back to the way things have always been.The second thing is that I always ask permission.“Now that I've listened to you, Sarah, there are just one or two things I'd love to run by you about what's going on. Do you mind if I do that?”I want to make this absolutely clear: as a parent, you do not need your child's permission to tell them things. I really, absolutely, honestly believe that. As the parent, you have the right to tell them stuff they need to know.But this isn't about rights. This is about effectiveness.If I launch into, “Well, Sarah, now that I've listened to that, I get it, but I need to tell you these two things,” I'm already bringing defensiveness back into the relationship.Sarah: Mm-hmm.Dr. Justin: Barriers are coming up.Whereas if I say, “Sarah, this is so helpful. As I've listened to you, two things have come to mind. Do you mind if I share both of those with you?” Your instant response, even as I say it—I'm watching your face—Sarah: I'm nodding.Dr. Justin: And you're going—Sarah: Yeah.Dr. Justin: Yeah. I actually want to know.You're opening up your heart and mind to me, and we're just role-playing this.Sarah: Yeah, yeah. Mm-hmm.Dr. Justin: And that's what our kids do. They're like, “Oh, okay.” Because we've given them the courtesy of listening—Sarah: Well, and you're not trying to use your power over them.Dr. Justin: Exactly.This is a non-coercive, really supportive conversation.And I still haven't had this happen. A lot of parents will say, “Well, what happens if they say no?”And I'm like, “I've raised six kids, and they've never actually looked at me and said, ‘Now that I think about it, no, I don't need to know anything that you…'”They've just never done it.But even if they did—Sarah: Well, if they do, it's probably that they're—what did you say? When emotions are high, intelligence is low. Maybe it wasn't the right time to have the conversation.If they're saying no, then they're probably still angry and holding onto whatever was going on for them.Dr. Justin: Exactly.But if they're that angry, they're probably not going to have explored nicely with you anyway.Sarah: Yes, exactly. So pick—Dr. Justin: A different time.You're probably not even going to—Sarah: Get to that point. Yeah.Dr. Justin: So it's very much: keep it really short, ask permission, and then share.Sarah: Okay. So give me examples.You said, “We've been fighting about screens,” was one example. You also gave the example of, “You've been fighting a lot with your brother.”So in the explain—10 to 20 seconds—choose one of those scenarios. After hearing your child, what would you say in that 10 to 20 seconds?Dr. Justin: I did this just the other day with my 16-year-old daughter, Lily, who is on social media more than she should be. There's been some tension and conflict.I listened. She shared some ideas, and I said, “There are just a couple of things I want to run by you. Is that okay?”She said, “Sure, Dad.”I said, “Great. There are certain times when we're trying to connect or have family time, and there are certain contexts where you're on your device and we just can't reach you.”She looked at me and said, “Yeah, I know.”I said, “Okay. The second thing I want to highlight is that we've noticed you're sleeping in because, even though you're not supposed to, you've been taking your phone into your bedroom at night and staying up late scrolling. Unless I'm reading it wrong, I'm pretty sure that's what's been happening.”And she said, “No, I have been, Dad. You're right.”So it's just two really succinct sentences where I'm stating what I'm seeing. I'm sharing my experience.Sarah: Mm-hmm.Dr. Justin: If it were the sibling fighting, I'd say, “Yeah, your brother is really annoying. I get what's going on. Sometimes I wish he didn't live in our house as well.”I might have a joke with them about the challenge associated with that.And then I might say, “So when this happens, can I just share how it feels for me? It breaks my heart. I love both of you so very much, and my dream is for our family to enjoy being in one another's company and to look forward to conversations and jokes and doing the things we do. When this stuff is going on, it feels like that's a pipe dream.“And secondly, psychologically—you know I've got this PhD in psychology—I know that there's damage being done to the way your brother feels about himself. That's what I'm worried about.”So I've had both of those little conversations on two different topics, sharing two different things, and both were about 10 seconds each.Sarah: Mm-hmm.Dr. Justin: Again, it's conversational. It's not lecture-style.Sarah: And it's from the heart.I can feel it, even though this is just an example you're giving. I can feel that it's from your heart—that you're really being open and sharing with your child what your true concerns are.You're not trying to power over or control. You're really sharing a heartfelt sentiment.Dr. Justin: Yeah. Thank you. That's the goal.You won't always do that, but that's the goal.The reason there's a problem is because your values are not being upheld in the home, and you're trying to communicate that in a way that shows you honor them and that they've got a brain.Now, we've used two really grown-up versions—or teenage versions, I guess. But you can have the same conversations with three- and four-year-olds. It's just shorter. It's simpler.Usually, with those conversations, in a pretty tight timeframe—60 to 90 seconds—you've done the whole process.There is a higher-order—Sarah: Okay, so what's the third part?Dr. Justin: Just before I get to that one, if you really want to do the advanced version of explain, what I'll often do after I've explored with my child is say:“Okay, so this is the bit where I'd normally explain what's going on from my point of view. I wonder if you can tell me what you think I'm going to say here.”Sarah: Ah.Dr. Justin: And so I get them to explain the explain to me.The reason that's so effective is that whenever my mouth is the one that's moving, my brain is the one that's working.If I can get their mouth moving, their brain is doing the heavy lifting.Sarah: Love that.Dr. Justin: That's really, really effective.And then the last one—Sarah: Is empower.And you're also helping them see things and develop empathy, right? To see things from somebody else's perspective.Dr. Justin: Yes. Powerful.The last one is empower.That's literally as simple as saying, “Okay, so I get where you're coming from. We've had that conversation very thoroughly. You know what my challenge is here. What do you think we should do?”“Where do we go from here? How do we solve this in a way that we can both feel good about?”It's true that every now and then, your child will shrug their shoulders and say, “I don't know.”Or they'll shrug and say, “Well, we should just do what I want to do.”And as a parent, that's where you step in and say my favorite line:“Don't you just wish? Don't you just wish we could?”Sarah: Mm-hmm.Dr. Justin: Because—well, let me ask you, Sarah. When I say, “Don't you just wish,” or, “Wouldn't it be good if we could?”—same thing—what have I actually said?Sarah: Total empathy. Heaps of empathy.Dr. Justin: Total empathy.But I've also said something else really clearly.Sarah: That that's not going to work.Dr. Justin: Correct. The answer is no.But it's a no with so much love, kindness, empathy, and gentleness in it—Sarah: Mm-hmm.Dr. Justin: —that your child goes, “Oh, yeah. I know.”And then you say, “So let's see if we can come up with a solution that will work.”What else might work for you when it comes to your brother?What else might work for you when it comes to the party on Friday night that I'm not willing to let you go to?What else could work when it comes to our screen challenges? Because this is an ongoing issue for us, isn't it?Every now and then, you won't get an answer right away. You'll say, “Well, let's talk about it again tonight,” or, “Let's talk about it again tomorrow once you've had some time to think about it.”But I'm big on deadlines.“We need to have this worked out by the end of the weekend, okay? I don't want to go through another week of this. We've got to find a solution. If we haven't had another chat by tomorrow night, we're going to sit down and work it out then.”And I also don't have a problem at this point—Laura Walker is a researcher at BYU in Utah, and she did a study published in the Journal of Adolescence where she found that parents who use these kinds of strategies—she's not talking about the Three E's of Effective Discipline, because that's the thing I developed, but it's based on the same sort of theory that she researches—Parents who use these kinds of strategies, even when they do have to step in and say, “All right, well, we haven't come up with a solution, so it's going to be my way,” kids are much more likely to be responsive and compliant—Sarah: Mm-hmm.Dr. Justin: —because we've been through a process with them that is not autocratic. It's not authoritarian.They've felt like they had a voice. Their perspective has been seen and heard. They've had some input.And even though they don't get what they want all the time—because we're the parents, and sometimes the fact that we've climbed 47 rungs on the ladder of life and they've only climbed 13 is all we need.Sarah: That's what I call in my work the goodwill bank.When your kids experience you as collaborative, non-coercive, and not power-tripping—when they know, over the period of their childhood, that they can trust you to take their preferences into account and be respectful of them—then when you do have to say no about something, even if they don't like it, there's this goodwill bank behind you and this level of trust.When you mentioned, “You can't go to the party on Friday,” I never had that issue with my kids because everything was so collaborative.We'd have similar conversations. I didn't have—I'm not very good at thinking of things like the Three E's—but similar kinds of processes where they'd say why they wanted to go, I'd say what my concerns were, and then they'd invariably say, “Oh, yeah, you're probably right.”It was never, “You can't go.”It was, “These are my concerns. This is what I've been thinking about.”Because they experienced that whole process over years of parenting, you don't get the pushback because they don't feel like you're power-tripping them.Dr. Justin: Yeah.Sarah, I had an experience with one of my adult children who was still living at home. I think she was maybe 19 or 20 when this happened.She wanted to go and do something, and I said to her, “You're an adult. You do get to choose for yourself whether you will do this or not, but I've got some really big concerns about you doing it.“I actually think you're putting yourself into a dangerous situation. There's some history, some volatility, and some challenges if you go and involve yourself in this particular activity. Tell me why this is so important to you.”So she walked me through it, and I said, “Okay, I get it. How do my concerns stack up against your desire to be there?”And she said, “Dad, I get what you're saying, but I want to go.”And I said, “Okay, so…”You used that beautiful term, the goodwill bank. I can't remember exactly what my words were, but I'm going to use your term right now, because I essentially said:“I'm going to use the goodwill I've built up with you over the last however many years and step in really firmly and say you're making a mistake.“As your dad, even though you're an adult, I want to forbid you to go. That's how strongly I feel about this. To the degree that I can, I forbid it.“Ultimately, you will choose because you are an adult, but I don't want you there.”Sarah: I'm going on the record.Dr. Justin: Yeah, yeah.“I need you to trust that this is a bad idea. We can come up with any number of other activities you could do instead, with different people in a different location, but this is a bad idea, and you have none of my support should you go.“If you go and something goes wrong, you call me and I'll come rescue you. But it is a bad idea, and I forbid it.”And I couldn't believe I was saying those words. I've never said them in my life, and now I was saying them to an adult.But she looked at me and said, “Okay.”Sarah: Mm-hmm.Dr. Justin: She didn't fight me. She didn't say, “I can do what—”Sarah: No, because you built up the history with her of how she experienced you.Dr. Justin: Yeah. She was like, “Wow, this is serious. He's never said that before. If he feels that strongly, maybe he's right. Maybe I need to find an alternative.”So anyway, that's the Three E's of Effective Discipline.I feel like I've talked too much, Sarah. I wanted to be much more conversational, but I get carried away when we—Sarah: No, no. I love it.I feel like it's very complementary to the things that I teach, and you've given me some new things to teach parents as well.I love having sort of snappy—the Three E's of Discipline. I think that's great. I love it. I'll share it.Dr. Justin: Yeah, please. Absolutely.It's helped so many millions of parents.Sarah: Yeah.Well, I love that we've connected across the world—from the other side of the world to each other—and I look forward to hopefully talking to you again in March of 2027 when your book Boys comes out.I figured we were going to talk about that, but we had such a lovely conversation about peaceful parenting, discipline, and—oh my God, it's gone right out of my head—Dr. Justin: Self-determination theory.Sarah: Self-determination theory.I think it was a really great conversation, and I really appreciate you sharing all of your experience and wisdom.Dr. Justin: I loved the conversation.Like I said, it was too one-sided. I wish we'd been able to go backward and forward a bit more, but let's do it again.Let's chat again next year when the book comes out, and we'll talk about boys and how to help them.There's so much talk about toxic masculinity.Sarah: Mm-hmm.Dr. Justin: Wouldn't it be great if we could give them a view of healthy masculinity—a model of that to follow?That's what my book is all about: how we can guide boys into a healthy form of masculinity.Sarah: Well, for folks in Australia, your book is coming out in June 2026. For folks in North America, it's not coming out until spring 2027.So I will definitely be ringing you up and having you come back on to talk about the book when you've got your North American release. I know we're going to have a great conversation then.Before I let you go, though, I have a question that I ask all my podcast guests:If you had a time machine and you could go back and tell your younger parent self something, what advice would you give yourself?Dr. Justin: Jean-Jacques Rousseau said there is—I can't remember the quote exactly—but: What wisdom is there that is greater than kindness?I've paraphrased it. It's not perfect, but it's something along those lines.Interestingly, Rousseau had, I think, five children—maybe six—and he put them all into orphanages somewhere in the first 18 months of their lives so he could spend more time writing and focusing on how to be a good person, which I just find criminal. I can't believe it.So take it for what it's worth, but “What wisdom is there that's greater than kindness?” is what Rousseau said.I've mentioned this idea of soft eyes a couple of times. If I could go back, I would teach myself about kindness. I'd teach myself about many of the things we've talked about today.But I just want to quickly share the story of soft eyes.As an academic, I want everything I say to be evidence-based. There is no evidence that I'm aware of where people have done any kind of randomized controlled trial where parents are asked to interact with their children with soft eyes, neutral eyes, hard eyes, or anything like that.Soft eyes is this idea—I was giving a presentation at a public library one time, and an elderly lady stepped into the back of the room, sat down, and listened to the last 25 or 30 minutes of my presentation. She must have liked what she could hear from the corridor outside, and she stepped in to listen.After everybody had left, she walked over to me and said, “I really enjoyed what you shared. I'd love to tell you something my grandmother said to me.”So we're going back into the early 1900s.Her grandmother said, “Whenever you're talking to your children about matters of discipline, make sure you have soft eyes.”And I thought, I really like that.Because if you try to have a conversation with somebody and your eyes are soft, you just can't say mean things. You can't say harsh things. You can't have harsh thoughts.If you soften your eyes, your face softens and your heart softens. You have this beautiful compassion and kindness, this ability to see the best in them rather than the worst in them, to assume positive intent.There's something gorgeous about soft eyes.So I would go back and quote Rousseau better than I just quoted him to you, and I would tell my younger self that soft eyes will make a tremendous impact on all of my relationships.Sarah: Ah.There's an American—I don't know if you've heard of him in Australia—but he's a pretty well-known marriage counselor, Terry Real.Dr. Justin: Oh, yeah. I quote him in my book.Sarah: Yeah, yeah. He does a lot of work about—well, he says something like, “There's nothing that harshness can accomplish that kindness can't accomplish better.”Dr. Justin: That's so beautiful.Sarah: Mm-hmm.Dr. Justin: Thank you. That's inspiring. I'm so glad you shared that.Sarah: Yeah. I love it.It's hard to remember, but I think it is true. And I wish that—and I know the world needs a dose of that right now.Dr. Justin: Yeah. Yeah.Sarah: One hundred percent.Well, thank you so much.Where's the best place for folks to go and find out more about you and what you do?Dr. Justin: Probably my podcast, the Happy Families Podcast. My wife and I drop a 15-minute nugget of parenting wisdom every day, five days a week.Sarah: Oh, wow!Dr. Justin: Yeah. It's a lot of content, but it's bite-sized chunks, and it's entertaining. We're fun. We get to do it together.And the Happy Families Podcast. I've got a website called happyfamilies.com.au, but basically, if you like what we've talked about—Sarah: We'll link to all of that in the show notes. We'll link to your website and your podcast, and I'm sure it's easy to find you.Dr. Justin: That sounds great. Thanks, Sarah.Sarah: Thank you so much.Dr. Justin: What a great, great conversation. Lovely to be with you.Reimagine Peaceful Parenting with Sarah Rosensweet Substack is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit sarahrosensweet.substack.com/subscribe

What can Tom Cruise's last impossible mission teach us about usefulness in the digital age? Aled Maclean-Jones argues that dangling from cargo planes, soldering hard drives, and skydiving nineteen consecutive times is really an extended tribute to embodied knowledge. Listen as MacLean-Jones and EconTalk's Russ Roberts analyze the unique concept of competence presented in Cruise's films. Along the way, they cover London cabbies who refuse to use Waze, a fatal dive at the sound barrier, solo sailing around the globe, and the small triumph of fixing a broken toilet by oneself. They conclude by exploring the possibility that physical mastery may come to matter more as computers take over the work of the mind.

On this week's show, the boys play Capcom's latest AAA foray, Pragmata. We talk about father/daughter dynamics in video games, the joys of hacking, and what it means to be a slayer gamer. Become a citizen of The Dive Down Nation!: http://www.patreon.com/thedivedown Show the world that you're a proud citizen of The Dive Down Nation with some merch from the store: https://www.thedivedown.com/store Upgrade your gameplay and your gameday with Heavy Play accessories. Use code THEDIVEDOWN for 10% off your first order at https://www.heavyplay.com Get 25% Cashback after 3 months of service with ManaTraders! https://www.manatraders.com/?medium=thedivedown and use coupon code THEDIVEDOWN And now receive 8% off your order of paper cards from Nerd Rage Gaming with code DIVE8 at https://www.nerdragegaming.com/ Timestamps: 0:01 - Sparking graphic novels 4:01 - This week's episode 6:34 - Dave's old business: cookin' and cubin' 11:55 - Pragmata - the basic setup 26:48 - What this game does well 37:58 - Competence vs. excellence 59:52 - The psychology of gamers 1:05:46 - Public comments: The card(s) that got us into Magic 1:12:04 - Wrapping up Our opening music is Nowhere - You Never Knew, and our closing music is Space Blood - Goro? Is That Your Christian Name? email us: thedivedown@gmail.com