K-Town Rumble

Habits are hard to break, but they can be changed. There are cultural factors in play that make it much more difficult when there is an overarching social expectation to hold family above all else and for Janet and Brian, it lead to a lot of internalizing when it came to even reflecting on making changes about how they react to certain situations. Yes, reactions can be looked at like habits. Janet talks about some recent revelations in her understanding of her own beliefs which lead to her recognizing how to change some long-standing habits. Brian shares new info that has put an end to the now-old idea that habits take any number of “days” to form.   References: How long does it take to form a new habit? https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/taking-it-easy/202001/how-long-does-it-take-form-new-habit   Check out the K-Town Rumble Website: https://www.ktownrumble.com/   Follow us on social media: https://www.instagram.com/ktownrumble/ https://www.instagram.com/therealjanetlee/ https://www.instagram.com/thisisbrianlee/

The wonderful @hangukhapa is our guest in this episode! She shares her background and inspiration on Korean cuisine on her social media and YouTube channel following our collab. Hear it here! Also, take a moment to check out her informative (and tasty!) content!   Check out the K-Town Rumble Website: https://www.ktownrumble.com/   Follow us on social media: https://www.instagram.com/ktownrumble/ https://www.instagram.com/therealjanetlee/ https://www.instagram.com/thisisbrianlee/   And Hangukhapa! https://www.instagram.com/hangukhapa/

We experience so many people telling us how to look, what success is, what to know, etc. Janet and Brian have a conversation about what they think some of these pressures are, where they think they came from, and what they did to get past the pressure. Tune in to this week's episode, “Dealing With Social Pressures”, to hear more! Check out the K-Town Rumble Website: https://www.ktownrumble.com/ Follow us on social media: https://www.instagram.com/ktownrumble/ https://www.instagram.com/therealjanetlee/ https://www.instagram.com/thisisbrianlee/

If you are part of the millennial generation you have probably heard, “you need to know your purpose,” or some variation of that statement at some point in your life. What you probably weren't told is how. As many of us have faced adulting with a skewed view and expectations that we eventually realize are not our own. We may have to face much internal struggle to try and figure out what it all means. Some have coped by becoming numb and learning how not to care. Quarterly, Janet and Brian get together to talk about where they are with their goals and if any of their aspirations have changed. Sometimes, their conversations are light and easy to get through. Other times, their discussions take them to a place that requires much more in-depth conversation and potentially even healing. They share openly in this episode a glimpse of some of the discussions that they've had. Tune in to this week's episode, “How Cultural Expectations Made it Really Hard For Us to Talk About Our Purpose”, to hear more! Check out the K-Town Rumble Website: https://www.ktownrumble.com/ Follow us on social media: https://www.instagram.com/ktownrumble/ https://www.instagram.com/therealjanetlee/ https://www.instagram.com/thisisbrianlee/

Shame is something we hear about frequently, and often smiling through our pain, in the AAPI community. Shame is much more intense when related to Eastern values versus Western values as Asians tend to carry the shame with the weight of their families and social expectations on top of them. It’s regularly looked at in a negative light and for good reason. In this episode, Janet and Brian define shame and the differences in their cultural contexts as well as sharing their personal experiences with how it had affected them before they had even known how it had affected their beliefs and self-image. They also talk about how therapy, reflecting, and knowledge all play a part in learning how to live in a world where multiple cultures collide, leaving shaming and the experience of feeling shame commonplace. Tune in to hear it in this week’s episode “Shame Is Different With Asians and How We Deal With It” Check out the K-Town Rumble Website: https://www.ktownrumble.com/ Follow us on social media: https://www.instagram.com/ktownrumble/ https://www.instagram.com/therealjanetlee/ https://www.instagram.com/thisisbrianlee/ References: The Difference Between Guilt and Shame https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/shame/201305/the-difference-between-guilt-and-shame How Asian Shame and Stigma Contribute to Suicide https://www.nami.org/Blogs/NAMI-Blog/July-2020/How-Asian-Shame-and-Stigma-Contribute-to-Suicide

Eastern Asians that follow more traditional Confucianist values already know that the Hierarchy between age, rank, class, and even gender is a long-held tradition deeply embedded in our social interactions. These values span for generations regardless of how many degrees of separation we have from our original immigrant ancestors. Janet and Brian explore the idea of where these ways of living originate as well as how had affected them in their interactions. If you’ve had trouble getting through to some of your elders, this will be a conversation that you’d want to listen to. You’re definitely not alone in trying to navigate the rough terrain of opposing cultural values, especially as it relates to social hierarchy. Tune in to hear more! Check out the K-Town Rumble Website: https://www.ktownrumble.com/ Follow us on social media: https://www.instagram.com/ktownrumble/ https://www.instagram.com/therealjanetlee/ https://www.instagram.com/thisisbrianlee/

There’s always a right and a wrong way to go about doing things, isn’t there? Well, depending on which culture is dominant in your multicultural life, the “right” and “wrong” way of doing anything can be vastly different. It sounds like it should be obvious, but common sense is not really all that common if you venture to different countries where they’ve had centuries to operate under different versions of social norms.   In this episode, Janet and Brian explore their own multicultural values and how they go about navigating them, especially when there are some values that oppose each other. For instance, Western individualism vs Eastern collectivism. When you have to choose, how do they do it? Tune in to hear more about how they set the context to be able to bounce between (or fall flat in) multiple cultures.   Check out the K-Town Rumble Website: https://www.ktownrumble.com/   Follow us on social media: https://www.instagram.com/ktownrumble/ https://www.instagram.com/therealjanetlee/ https://www.instagram.com/thisisbrianlee/

Welcome back in the new year! Ok, it’s started. There’s now a book talking about how “nunchi” (aka “noonchi”) which is often conflated or overgeneralized between emotional intelligence, quick wit, social intuition, social awareness, etc. (the list goes on). Well, we’re talking about the real world picture when it comes down to nunchi and what we think about where it comes from. It’s definitely not seen as a “good” thing when it comes to its deeply embedded practices in Korean society. Tune in to hear why! References: What Is 'Nunchi', the Korean Secret to Happiness? https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/nov/11/what-is-nunchi-the-korean-secret-to-happiness Check out the K-Town Rumble Website: https://www.ktownrumble.com/ Follow us on social media: https://www.instagram.com/ktownrumble/ https://www.instagram.com/therealjanetlee/ https://www.instagram.com/thisisbrianlee/

Hearing the word “anxiety” is something way too familiar for 2020, but it was a problem even before the pandemic hit. It’s been an epidemic brought on by loft expectations from chasing lofty goals expecting to get them sooner than everybody else. Well, that’s what the majority of us were taught anyway. It’s time to normalize talking about it. In this episode, Janet and Brian both open up about their experiences with anxiety and explore why it may be that Asian cultures tend to avoid or repress the notion that such issues even exist. They also share some of the methods they’ve used to address their struggles dealing with anxiety. Check it out in this episode “vs Anxiety”   Check out the K-Town Rumble Website: https://www.ktownrumble.com/   Follow us on social media: https://www.instagram.com/ktownrumble/ https://www.instagram.com/therealjanetlee/ https://www.instagram.com/thisisbrianlee/   Some References: WHY MENTAL ILLNESS IS STIGMATISED IN ASIAN CULTURES: MY STRUGGLE WITH ANXIETY https://mabelkwong.com/2016/06/23/why-mental-illness-is-stigmatised-in-asian-cultures-my-struggle-with-anxiety/   Anxiety in college: What we know and how to cope https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/anxiety-in-college-what-we-know-and-how-to-cope-2019052816729   How to Cope with the Added Anxiety of Being Asian-American During COVID-19 https://www.happify.com/hd/how-to-cope-with-the-added-anxiety-of-being-asian-american-during-covid-19/

Nike Japan recently released an advertisement depicting a couple of kids being bullied at school. It was met with backlash by pointing out a very real problem among all social groups around the world. In this episode, Janet and Brian talk about bullying through the lens of Asian-Americans. Janet goes into a lot of detail about what this looks like in South Korea and where this could potentially come from, as it is almost ingrained into life for kids growing up. Tune in to hear more!   Check out the K-Town Rumble Website: https://www.ktownrumble.com/   Follow us on social media: https://www.instagram.com/ktownrumble/ https://www.instagram.com/therealjanetlee/ https://www.instagram.com/thisisbrianlee/   Resources: How parents, teachers and kids can take action to prevent bullying https://www.apa.org/topics/prevent-bullying   How to stop bullying in schools: What works, what doesn't https://www.today.com/parents/how-stop-bullying-schools-what-works-what-doesn-t-t159669   http://www.violencepreventionworks.org/   How to Prevent Bullying https://www.stopbullying.gov/prevention/how-to-prevent-bullying   6 Smarter Ways to Deal With a Bully https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-couch/201702/6-smarter-ways-deal-bully

Ever just feel tired of everything? There a lot to juggle these days, especially dealing with the pandemic, working from home, holidays, etc. Janet and Brian expand on dealing with mental fatigue. Sometimes, you just don’t realize that you need a break. In our society, we have some grandiose expectations and many of us have a hard time keeping burnout at bay. In fact, you could be burned out at not even know it. It’s hard to catch because we see mental fatigue the same way we see physical fatigue.   Tune in to hear about how to tell whether or not you’re mentally fatigued and what to do about it on this week’s episode “vs Mental Fatigue”.   Check out the K-Town Rumble Website: https://www.ktownrumble.com/   Follow us on social media: https://www.instagram.com/ktownrumble/ https://www.instagram.com/therealjanetlee/ https://www.instagram.com/thisisbrianlee/

When you're constantly instructed to focus on YOUR grades, YOUR studies, YOUR family, etc. and learning how to communicate with other people (as a structured skill) is not valued or even understood. This creates gaps in our ability to navigate Western society. Janet and Brian talk about the idea of selfish communication in this episode where they address some of the recent commentary about how it is that communication is perceived by the communicator. Touching on how it applies when you've grown up in a hierarchical environment where it is the responsibility of the person on the lower end of the hierarchy to understand what the person on the higher end is communicating as opposed to the other way around.   In this episode, you will hear about selfish communication as it's seemingly defined by others, discussion around the difficulties around communication for Korean-Americans (Asian-Americans/Asians/Immigrants), enhancing active listening skills, and a Reddit question about what to do after realizing you've been communicating in a selfish manner.   Reddit Topic Link: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/jz0df8/ive_realised_that_im_a_selfish_communicator_and_i/   Check out the K-Town Rumble Website: https://www.ktownrumble.com/   Follow us on social media: https://www.instagram.com/ktownrumble/ https://www.instagram.com/therealjanetlee/ https://www.instagram.com/thisisbrianlee/   Articles Referenced in Episode:   Active Listening Skills: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-it-together/202006/active-listening-skills

Sure, if you want to play games any skill is a “skill,” we’re not talking about the stuff that they teach you in school. We are talking about the major stuff that they don’t teach you in school. As Asians and Asian-Americans we are often taught to focus on a STEM-centered education. Typically when we think about skills, we tend to envision something that we fix or build with our hands. Today, Janet and Brian are going to talk about skills that are commonly referred to as “soft skills” at a high level.   In this episode, you will hear about: The 7 main areas of life Goals Self-care how to connect with other people   Tune in to hear about what it is that they have to say about how some of these concepts might apply to you.   Here's a link to the Rocketbook, the reusable smart notebook we talked about in the episode (yes, we get a kickback from Amazon for you using this link, but you don't pay any more than you would have by using this link): Rocketbook Smart Reusable Notebook https://amzn.to/2IFksqj   Some quick articles that we put together for anybody that wants to expand a little bit on the stuff we talked about:   Learning to Learn https://hbr.org/2016/03/learning-to-learn   8 Different Learning Styles https://blog.mindvalley.com/types-of-learning-styles/   Self-Care: 12 Ways to Take Better Care of Yourself https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/click-here-happiness/201812/self-care-12-ways-take-better-care-yourself   How to connect with others (playlist) https://www.ted.com/playlists/367/when_you_re_having_a_hard_time   Check out the K-Town Rumble Website: https://www.ktownrumble.com/   Follow us on social media: https://www.instagram.com/ktownrumble/ https://www.instagram.com/therealjanetlee/ https://www.instagram.com/thisisbrianlee/

What’s a Koreaboo? Janet and Brian talk about a poor guy who’s girlfriend has become obsessed with K-pop. Apparently, all she talks about is K-pop and the guy is tired of it and has no idea what to do. What would you do if your significant other widely becomes obsessed with something to the extent that you can’t walk about anything else?   Hear what Janet and Brian have to say about it on this week’s TMT episode, “My Girlfriend Is Obsessed With K-Pop Groups. Help.”   Reddit Topic Link: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/jmip9o/my_25m_girlfriend_26f_is_obsessed_with_bambam_and/   Check out the K-Town Rumble Website: https://www.ktownrumble.com/   Follow us on social media: https://www.instagram.com/ktownrumble/ https://www.instagram.com/therealjanetlee/ https://www.instagram.com/thisisbrianlee/

When you grow up in an environment where the focus is more on the things that you don’t do well rather than your strengths, you can expect that you’re going to grow up thinking more about your shortcomings rather than thinking to lean into your strengths.   In this episode, Janet and Brian talked about imposter syndrome and what it is as they understand it. They also get into how it applies to their lives and potentially to the lives of other Asian-Americans and how it is that they have overcome or continue to work on overcoming the doubts that come hand-in-hand when dealing with imposter syndrome. During this conversation, they will also share the five different types of imposter syndrome.   Tune in to this week’s episode “vs Imposter Syndrome in Asians”   Check out the K-Town Rumble Website: https://www.ktownrumble.com/   Follow us on social media: https://www.instagram.com/ktownrumble/ https://www.instagram.com/therealjanetlee/ https://www.instagram.com/thisisbrianlee/   References:   How Asian Shame Can Perpetuate Imposter Syndrome, Sam Louie (Psychotherapist, Psychology Today) https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/minority-report/202010/how-asian-shame-can-perpetuate-imposter-syndrome   5 Types of Imposter Syndrome Classified by Dr. Valerie Young https://www.fastcompany.com/40421352/the-five-types-of-impostor-syndrome-and-how-to-beat-them

In relationships, running into conflict is inevitable! There are just too many different experiences in an individual person’s life for there not to be some idea or experience that would collide with another’s. Janet and Brian had recently experienced just that, but they had taken the skills that they have learned and applied them (the best they could anyway).   In this episode, you’ll hear how the fight started, what happened, and what they did to resolve and reconcile their notions about what had originally happened. They share some of the lessons and agreements they’ve reached moving forward. This isn’t the perfect relationship, but no relationship is! Hear how they came to see eye to eye and how they deal with conflict resolution as it relates to their marriage.   Check out the K-Town Rumble Website: https://www.ktownrumble.com/   Follow us on social media: https://www.instagram.com/ktownrumble/ https://www.instagram.com/therealjanetlee/ https://www.instagram.com/thisisbrianlee/

It seems like it should be obvious, but we’re going to say it anyway. Resting is important! How do we all go about doing it though? Why is it that we don’t spend a whole lot of time treating rest like it is a necessity in our lives? Janet and Brian talk about why Koreans (and other Asians and anybody that’s bought into hustle culture) have a hard time acknowledging the very real fact that we all need rest.   In this episode, you’re going to hear about some of the causes of why there doesn’t seem to be awareness around the topic. They also get into how they identify when they need more rest as well as what it is that they do to recharge.   Tune in to hear it all in detail!   Check out the K-Town Rumble Website: https://www.ktownrumble.com/   Follow us on social media: https://www.instagram.com/ktownrumble/ https://www.instagram.com/therealjanetlee/ https://www.instagram.com/thisisbrianlee/

Woah, there is nothing "classic" about this. There are tiger parents and then there is this next-level of authoritarian upbringing. Janet and Brian hear this story of an Asian teenager with some extremely controlling parents to the extent that it is not ok. Trigger warning on this episode because even hearing the original post sounds like a horror story scenario.   Reddit Topic Link: https://www.reddit.com/r/AsianParentStories/comments/jd7lht/classic_asian_parent_forcing_child_to_study/   Check out the K-Town Rumble Website: https://www.ktownrumble.com/   Follow us on social media: https://www.instagram.com/ktownrumble/ https://www.instagram.com/therealjanetlee/ https://www.instagram.com/thisisbrianlee/

Hey everybody! We are taking a short (one week) break to catch up. We will be back with more content next week!

Growing up isn’t easy. In this episode, Janet and Brian talk about some of the hard stuff about growing up with Eastern Values and Western Influences. Sometimes it’s possible to achieve balance, but only if everybody in the family is willing. Then there are those times when the tiger parents show their stripes: way too overbearing, demanding (their version of) perfection, expecting to know exactly what you’re doing, dishing out constant criticism, etc. Sound familiar? It’s a narrative that we hear all the time. There isn’t an easy fix, just the reality of what it is that we all have to deal with to varying degrees.   Tune in to hear more as Janet and Brian talk about the common stories that they’ve heard and experienced themselves.   Reddit Topic Link: https://www.reddit.com/r/AsianParentStories/comments/j5102z/i_am_20_years_old_and_parents_are_still/   Check out the K-Town Rumble Website: https://www.ktownrumble.com/   Follow us on social media: https://www.instagram.com/ktownrumble/ https://www.instagram.com/therealjanetlee/ https://www.instagram.com/thisisbrianlee/

South Korea is in the headlines a lot these days (and rightfully so) with all the quality entertainment in the music and film industry popping up all over the US. So much so that Vloggers are going there! Janet and Brian comment on a “Top 10” list from one of these bloggers as they go through their list. You’re going to hear about some of the big differences in lifestyle and what people pay attention to in general from the ease of access to transport and getting around, Korean fashion, food, etc.   Tune in to hear them share their thoughts on a first timer’s best 10 things about living in South Korea!   Check out the K-Town Rumble Website: https://www.ktownrumble.com/   Follow us on social media: https://www.instagram.com/ktownrumble/ https://www.instagram.com/therealjanetlee/ https://www.instagram.com/thisisbrianlee/

Ever been in a relationship where you were cheated on? It’s easy to say that you would never stay if you were cheated on, but in real life, it pans out differently for a lot of people. Janet and Brian share their views on a relationship where a guy is constantly getting cheated on and bounce around on the “why” somebody would stay in a relationship like this.   Check it out on this week’s TMT episode!   Reddit Topic Link: https://www.reddit.com/r/Infidelity/comments/iki3aj/i_know_i_need_to_quit_but_i_cant/   Check out the K-Town Rumble Website: https://www.ktownrumble.com/   Follow us on social media: https://www.instagram.com/ktownrumble/ https://www.instagram.com/therealjanetlee/ https://www.instagram.com/thisisbrianlee/

The comfort zone. Makes you think about sinking into a couch while binge-watching Netflix, but it can be different for everybody. It’s really more about the mental and physical spaces that we’re accustomed to. This doesn’t mean it has to be bundled up on the couch. For some people, it could be always being in a state of survival mode.   Janet and Brian share their experience with what their comfort-zones look like and how comfort zones can look different for 1st and 2nd gen Korean-Americans. It’s a much different picture for many of us.   Tune in to hear more!   Check out the K-Town Rumble Website: https://www.ktownrumble.com/   Follow us on social media: https://www.instagram.com/ktownrumble/ https://www.instagram.com/therealjanetlee/ https://www.instagram.com/thisisbrianlee/

“Why do you spend your money on that? You need to save instead of spending!” What’s with all the nagging? Ever deal with your parents constantly criticizing everything that you spend your money on? Your parent's relationship with money is different than yours because they come from a completely different world when it comes to finances.   Janet and Brian talk about this and their experiences with their parent's criticism or acceptance about the things they spend their money on. Two different viewpoints and two polar experiences. Tune in to hear how they dealt with it and why it is/was even a problem in the first place!   Reddit Topic Link: https://www.reddit.com/r/AsianParentStories/comments/istiec/have_your_parents_always_criticised_you_for/   Check out the K-Town Rumble Website: https://www.ktownrumble.com/   Follow us on social media: https://www.instagram.com/ktownrumble/ https://www.instagram.com/therealjanetlee/ https://www.instagram.com/thisisbrianlee/

When your heritage is from a collectivist society, it easy to get caught up in everybody’s expectations of what you “should” be. Of course, when you mix that up into westernized cultures you run into conflict. Janet and Brian explore the role that the assumptions that culture brings into their interactions and how it potentially influences their interactions with others. Sometimes one person’s perspective of being succinct could look like being way too direct. Other times, speaking in an indirect way can be translated as passive-aggressive.   Tune in to hear more!   Check out the K-Town Rumble Website: https://www.ktownrumble.com/   Follow us on social media: https://www.instagram.com/ktownrumble/ https://www.instagram.com/therealjanetlee/ https://www.instagram.com/thisisbrianlee/

Intervene in somebody else’s relationship? Janet and Brian share their ideas about when it could be appropriate or inappropriate to get involved. Though, it’s rarely as simple as that. In this situation, you’re going to be hearing about two people that are coworkers where one of them is in a toxic relationship. The other wants to help, but doesn’t know whether or not if it’s appropriate to do so.   Is it your responsibility to help somebody if you are aware of how bad a situation is and they don’t? Shouldn’t you get involved if somebody needs help?   Listen in to hear the discussion!   Reddit Topic Link: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/ip0t7z/my_26m_friend_30f_is_in_a_toxic_relationship_with/   Check out the K-Town Rumble Website: https://www.ktownrumble.com/   Follow us on social media: https://www.instagram.com/ktownrumble/ https://www.instagram.com/therealjanetlee/ https://www.instagram.com/thisisbrianlee/

Racism is, without a question, a major issue in the United States, but what if you come from a homogenous country where it’s not given the same attention? We now live in a globally connected world. We can learn from each other at a scale that is unprecedented compared to previous generations. The speed of how we all adapt to rapidly changing ideologies and global awareness/awakening will determine how we all decide to proceed into the future.   This is a long-awaited episode where Janet and Brian talk about issues in regards to race and racism in the US. This is obviously a charged conversation and one that is intimate to their discussion within their understandings of what it all means, but they, at the risk of controversy, share their experience, knowledge, and ideas around the topic.   Tune into this week’s episode as Janet opens up from the perspective of a modern-day immigrant raised in South Korea and Brian as an American-born Korean share (probably overshare) some insights as they understand them to be today.   Check out the K-Town Rumble Website: https://www.ktownrumble.com/   Follow us on social media: https://www.instagram.com/ktownrumble/ https://www.instagram.com/therealjanetlee/ https://www.instagram.com/thisisbrianlee/

Is it true that your love language is based on what you didn’t receive as a child? These are 5 loves languages:   1. Words of Affirmation 2. Acts of Service 3. Receiving Gifts 4. Quality Time 5. Physical Touch   Janet and Brian take the quiz and discuss their love languages and whether or not they agree with this idea. Listen in as they share some of the details of their relationship and how they interact when it comes to how they interact in their relationship.   Reddit Topic Link: https://www.reddit.com/r/AsianParentStories/comments/ijdg91/what_your_love_language/   Check out the K-Town Rumble Website: https://www.ktownrumble.com/   Follow us on social media: https://www.instagram.com/ktownrumble/ https://www.instagram.com/therealjanetlee/ https://www.instagram.com/thisisbrianlee/

Let’s look at our world today. So much has changed in the way that we live our lives now and school is no exception. In this episode of K-Town Rumble, Janet and Brian share their respective experiences with school while growing up. Janet going to school in Korea (mostly girl’s/women’s schools) while Brian went to primarily US public schools.   They discuss some of the differences that they had experienced in their academics as well as some profound thoughts around what the traditional academic structure had missed when teaching them and so many others.   This is a broad topic and the conversation gets interesting as they talk about old school physical punishment, the missing topics that they don’t teach in schools, and what they should be teaching in schools given the expanded world that we live in today.   Tune in to hear more!   Check out the K-Town Rumble Website: https://www.ktownrumble.com/   Follow us on social media: https://www.instagram.com/ktownrumble/ https://www.instagram.com/therealjanetlee/ https://www.instagram.com/thisisbrianlee/

Is there ever a good time to introduce your boyfriend/girlfriend to your parents? In this week’s question, Janet and Brian talk about when the “best” time is to introduce your significant other. They share a bit about how they’ve handled the situation in the past and things might get a little personal as they share stories about who they’ve dated in the past.   You’re also going to hear some of the back and forth about Asian parents and juggling the expectations that come from living with multiple cultures. In general, how do you approach this situation without having your parents freak out? Honestly, it might not be possible.   Hear it in this week’s Twenty Minute Tuesday episode!   Reddit Topic Link: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/iixa16/whens_the_best_time_to_tell_asian_parents_you/   Check out the K-Town Rumble Website: https://www.ktownrumble.com/   Follow us on social media: https://www.instagram.com/ktownrumble/ https://www.instagram.com/therealjanetlee/ https://www.instagram.com/thisisbrianlee/

Happy 6 year anniversary!   Janet and Brian go head to head comparing their 5 reasons why they think that their relationship works for their wedding anniversary. They make a little game where they both write down the 5 top reasons why they believe their relationship works and then compare those reasons on the show without telling each other what those reasons are before the cameras start rolling. They take time to break down some of their experience and whether they agree with each other or not.   In this episode, you’re going to hear about communication, conflict resolution, values that line up, and maybe some stories that might not line up.   Tune in to hear more in this entertaining episode where you get to hear it from them!   Check out the K-Town Rumble Website: https://www.ktownrumble.com/   Follow us on social media: https://www.instagram.com/ktownrumble/ https://www.instagram.com/therealjanetlee/ https://www.instagram.com/thisisbrianlee/

In this week's episode of TMT Janet and Brian Answer a question surrounding the topic of passive-aggressive parents. many of us who grew up with people that come from a country where expressing your opinions, sharing your thoughts, or even showing emotions could be perceived as negative. In this situation, the OP talks about how they've developed some mental health-related issues including anxiety and some other toxic behaviors and they learn from their parents.   Janet and Brian do their best to share from their experience where what seems to be passive-aggressive Asian parents comes from as well as what somebody could do about it when they are dealing with similar struggles as a result of how they were raised.   Tune in to hear more about some of the ideas that they have to share.   Reddit Topic Link: https://www.reddit.com/r/AsianParentStories/comments/ifs586/are_your_parents_extremely_passive_aggressive/   Check out the K-Town Rumble Website: https://www.ktownrumble.com/   Follow us on social media: https://www.instagram.com/ktownrumble/ https://www.instagram.com/therealjanetlee/ https://www.instagram.com/thisisbrianlee/

For those of you that have Korean parents, have you ever noticed that your parents never really seem to apologize? Brian has a realization that he doesn’t ever really remember his parents ever apologizing. Janet shares some pretty interesting insights when it comes to Korean culture as to why this could be.   From an American standpoint, children are taught the action of apologizing without emphasis on reconciliation, whereas Koreans are not really taught the idea of forgiveness. Of course, this is speaking in general, but it brings up some pretty interesting realizations when it comes to trying to understand why it is that previous generations didn’t seem to emphasize learning this.   Having this understanding may help piece together some of the confusing differences that many of us have experienced during our multicultural upbringings. Tune in to this week's episode "vs Apologizing" to hear more.   Check out the K-Town Rumble Website: https://www.ktownrumble.com/   Follow us on social media: https://www.instagram.com/ktownrumble/ https://www.instagram.com/therealjanetlee/ https://www.instagram.com/thisisbrianlee/

Janet and Brian address the question “has anyone else noticed that the US has a lot of resentment and spitefulness?“ They share their ideas around the amount of conflict that occurs between different subgroups (or categories or whatever you wanna call them) of people.   Some of the ideas that they talk about are centered around the idea that when there are differences there are more opportunities for conflict. America in comparison to many other countries is very young and is still working to establish its identity. It’s not so unlike many of us who come from multicultural backgrounds trying to reconcile opposing ideas from our eastern and western influences. They also take some time touching on the major influence that media plays on the perception of the general public.   In the end, you’ll see that this type of conflict is not isolated to Americans. They expand the conversation to discuss what this type of conflict actually looks like in Korea as well. Tune in to this week's episode of TMT to hear more.   Reddit Topic Link: https://www.reddit.com/r/asianamerican/comments/i5zhy0/has_anyone_else_noticed_that_the_us_has_a_lot_of/   Check out the K-Town Rumble Website: https://www.ktownrumble.com/   Follow us on social media: https://www.instagram.com/ktownrumble/ https://www.instagram.com/therealjanetlee/ https://www.instagram.com/thisisbrianlee/

Janet and Brian are both very much into food. This is in a foodie-type way as well as from a health-conscious perspective. They talk about the changes in their eating habits since the beginning of lockdown and social distancing. They discuss the “quarantine 15”, stress eating, Asian (cultural) relationship with food, dieting, (not) meal prepping, and how it all relates to health.   They also get into how physical appearance is a significant driver in Korea in terms of the “dieting” that often trends alongside how celebrities are portrayed in media and how it relates to the standards of beauty. Sharing their experience with many of the diets they have tried (including whole-food plant-based vegan), like so many, they’ve come to the conclusion that having a balanced diet means different things for different people.   Expect some tips as well as to how they make eating some of the major staples of Korean food as easy and accessible as possible. When it comes down to it, making it easy to do the things you want to do gives you more opportunities to do the things you want to do including eating healthy. Janet shares how she negotiated her way to a Korean side dish subscription.   Check out the K-Town Rumble Website: https://www.ktownrumble.com/   Follow us on social media: https://www.instagram.com/ktownrumble/ https://www.instagram.com/therealjanetlee/ https://www.instagram.com/thisisbrianlee/

In this week's TMT episode, Janet and Brian go deep into talking about ideas around forgiveness when it comes to dealing with immigrant parents. In this story, a 30+ year old posted about being raised by neglectful and abusive parents, who then, as an adult, distanced themselves for 7 years only to return to find that nothing has changed. Many Asian-Americans see how they “should have been raised,” under a westernized lens of what a loving and supportive family looks like. Janet and Brian go on to explain what this looks like in their individual experiences, While also explaining that even for them there are still past events that they continue to struggle with. It makes it easier to forgive when you are able to empathize with the people who need to be forgiven. Forgiving people can be especially difficult when the people that you need to forgive don't even realize that they have done anything wrong, but there is a secret to this. The secret is that forgiveness is not something that you give two other people it's something that you give to yourself.   Reddit Topic Link: https://www.reddit.com/r/AsianParentStories/comments/i5v8xz/as_a_30_year_old_adult_im_realizing_that_maybe/   Check out the K-Town Rumble Website: https://www.ktownrumble.com/   Follow us on social media: https://www.instagram.com/ktownrumble/ https://www.instagram.com/therealjanetlee/ https://www.instagram.com/thisisbrianlee/

For a while, it felt like everything had changed due to the COVID-19 pandemic. After about half a year of social distancing, Janet and Brian share how they have adjusted to a new way of living along with the rest of the world. They share how they’ve adjusted to this “new normal”. In this episode, you’re going to hear about:   - Working from home - Conflict at home because of being around each other all the time - Changes in the way that we all communicate - How they eat - How they exercise now - Stopping drinking   + Random stories about all of the above   Tune into this week’s episode, “vs The New Normal (Life During the COVID-19 Pandemic)”   Check out the K-Town Rumble Website: https://www.ktownrumble.com/   Follow us on social media: https://www.instagram.com/ktownrumble/ https://www.instagram.com/therealjanetlee/ https://www.instagram.com/thisisbrianlee/

Janet and Brian answer the question of whether or not they've also experienced feeling "left out" when it comes to relating to their heritage. In this episode, Brian goes in-depth to answer this question as it relates very closely to the experiences that he has had growing up in a community with limited exposure to Asian culture.   Going into details about how to relate back with heritage as well as the crucial role it plays in forming a well-rounded identity by giving context to where multi-cultural people can find a place in the world. It's certainly not an easy lesson to be learned, but it is possible to get there with less struggle.   Tune in as your hosts share some ideas surrounding the ability to relate with people in our community because not all of us had the fortune of growing up in environments that allowed us to easily do so.   Check out the K-Town Rumble Website: https://www.ktownrumble.com/   Follow us on social media: https://www.instagram.com/ktownrumble/ https://www.instagram.com/therealjanetlee/ https://www.instagram.com/thisisbrianlee/

Janet and Brian discuss through an interesting class taught by Dr. Sam Richards about the "Ways of 'Being' in the World". Two students, one of the Western influence and the other of the Eastern influence, are asked similar questions about how it is that they felt about their grades and themselves in other areas of their lives. The differences are quite stark when you point them out. In general, those, of the East Asian cultural influence have a tendency to underestimate their abilities while those influenced by the Western world tend to overestimate their abilities. Sound familiar? Ever feel a bit strange when being asked to talk about your accomplishments? Well, there's a reason for that. There are few other items such as our focus towards our strengths and weaknesses, what characteristics of a good reputation look like, and what type of areas lead to a successful life. Hear Janet and Brian weigh-in on the accuracy of the concepts that are shared in this class. In this week's episode, "vs Eastern vs Western Culture (Ways of 'Being' in the World)". Check out the K-Town Rumble Website: https://www.ktownrumble.com/ Follow us on social media: https://www.instagram.com/ktownrumble/ https://www.instagram.com/therealjanetlee/ https://www.instagram.com/thisisbrianlee/

As the story goes, some Asian parents need you to get married now and be a doctor. So to that end, in this story, this parent created a fake online dating profile on behalf of her daughter to increase the odds of her finding a sensible suitor. This is what happens when tradition meets technology. Janet and Brian get into talking about this story and how they can (or can't) relate to the situation that's going on here. This is the clash of traditional values, modern values, online dating, cultural differences, and more. Join Janet and Brian in this episode as they have a few laughs about what they try and figure out what the heck is going on! Reddit Topic Link: https://www.reddit.com/r/AsianParentStories/comments/hx2usy/mom_made_fake_online_dating_profile_for_me/ Check out the K-Town Rumble Website: https://www.ktownrumble.com/ Follow us on social media: https://www.instagram.com/ktownrumble/ https://www.instagram.com/therealjanetlee/ https://www.instagram.com/thisisbrianlee/

Janet and Brian talk about Negative though loops and how they've managed to navigate around the bulk of the traps laid down by their own beliefs. They share some general tips and get a bit more into detail in terms of how it has applied for them and how it's impacted their relationship with themselves and each other:   What causes negative thought loops specific to them Different areas of focus for Asians and Asian-Americans Their process for starting to stop negative thought loops Methods they have used that have worked and when they work   Nothing wrong with have a bit of pride for achieving high standards in everything that you do. What happens if you don't achieve though? Many Asians and Asian-Americans experience negative thought loops on a regular basis, yet not taught how to address the problem aside from your typical "just think positively" type of dismissive commentary. Janet and Brian are talking about it in this episode, "vs Negative Thought Loops".   Check out the K-Town Rumble Website: https://www.ktownrumble.com/   Follow us on social media: https://www.instagram.com/ktownrumble/ https://www.instagram.com/therealjanetlee/ https://www.instagram.com/thisisbrianlee/

Pyramid schemes are the worst! They totally manipulate people to take advantage of family and friends just to make a quick buck. In many instances, they don’t even sell anything aside from some grandiose idea of wealth and freedom. Sure there might be some legitimate MLM’s, but guess what these pyramid schemes call themselves? An MLM!   In this episode, Janet and Brian talk through a conflict between a married couple with the husband asking for help and advice. His wife is fully invested into an MLM selling some sort of protein shake, while he’s trying to talk her out of it. She gets pissed, takes the kids, and leaves the house… yikes.   Janet and Brian share some of their experiences with pyramid schemes trying to take advantage of them during their younger, more naive days. In the end, when a friend or family member tries to get you to buy into one of these scams, don’t go at them with a judgemental tone. They got caught up in the scam because these organizations prey on people who are vulnerable. Best to have some empathy in these situations.   Reddit Topic Link: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/htlts6/i_think_my_wife_is_about_to_choose_a_pyramid/   Check out the K-Town Rumble Website: https://www.ktownrumble.com/   Follow us on social media: https://www.instagram.com/ktownrumble/ https://www.instagram.com/therealjanetlee/ https://www.instagram.com/thisisbrianlee/

We live in a material world. From getting the latest smartphones to getting your hands on a Tesla. The cookie-cutter “path to success” in your typical Asian life paradigm is to get a house. Inherently, wanting something here and there isn’t such a bad thing, but what if your life decisions are all driven by this idea that to prove that you are gettin’ it you need to have the checklist of stuff that defines whatever “success” means.   Having “valuable” stuff is often conflated with social status. What drives this idea that if you have the best things that you’re in some sort of position that’s better than everybody else? Janet and Brian have their theories on this as well as discussions about what could be driving this constant need to horde material goods. What is it about the environment that our parents and grandparents grew up in that results in what seems like an obsession to not only achieve, but to show it off to everybody?   Hear it in “vs Materialism”   Check out the K-Town Rumble Website: https://www.ktownrumble.com/   Follow us on social media: https://www.instagram.com/ktownrumble/ https://www.instagram.com/therealjanetlee/ https://www.instagram.com/thisisbrianlee/

We've seen it on TV. Luckily Janet and Brian's parents didn't have the know-how to use tech to keep track of them, but nowadays, it's a very different story. Tracking your kids without their knowledge could make them feel like they're not trusted leading to all kinds of mixed feelings on the dynamic of the relationships in the house. Especially if the household is one with authoritarian rules.   In this "twenty-minute" episode, an 18-year-old discovers that his parents have been tracking him with a GPS hidden on his car. With privacy issues going hand-in-hand with technology, how is an 18-year old supposed to approach his parents, who may very well not even understand that there has been a breach of trust, that he's discovered that they have been tracking him?    It's a difficult question to answer because it's not like you can just up and leave your house and family. Can you? Janet and Brian tell some hard truths about how they would handle and have handled leaving the nest in their own experiences.   Reddit Topic Link: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/hp4tgx/i_18m_just_found_out_my_parents_55f_56m_have_been/   Check out the K-Town Rumble Website: https://www.ktownrumble.com/   Follow us on social media: https://www.instagram.com/ktownrumble/ https://www.instagram.com/therealjanetlee/ https://www.instagram.com/thisisbrianlee/

Self-awareness is definitely not first on the list for many Asian-Americans to master. Janet and Brian talk about some of the influences in Korean culture that may play into the reason why it is so difficult for many Asian Americans and immigrants to even introduce the idea of “self” into their lives. They also share a few questions that you could ask yourself to help you identify some of your thoughts on what may be influencing them. tune in to this week's episode “vs Self-Awareness”   Check out the K-Town Rumble Website: https://www.ktownrumble.com/   Follow us on social media: https://www.instagram.com/ktownrumble/ https://www.instagram.com/therealjanetlee/ https://www.instagram.com/thisisbrianlee/

There is so much meaning attached to age in Korean society. You could argue that age is among the top factors influencing how you address another person. This week’s question is one between a relationship with an 18 year age gap. There is definitely going to be some fighting with stigmas in this one. Janet and Brian weigh in with their thoughts on what could potentially happen and how they would address this issue.   Reddit Topic Link: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/fepdoi/i_20m_have_fallen_in_love_with_a_much_older/   Check out the K-Town Rumble Website: https://www.ktownrumble.com/   Follow us on social media: https://www.instagram.com/ktownrumble/ https://www.instagram.com/therealjanetlee/ https://www.instagram.com/thisisbrianlee/

We live in a society where hustling has become the answer to success and wealth. Work smarter, not harder, but also work hard. This is pretty much a modernized rebranding of the "work hard" attitude of the former generations, which did not operate under the same context of the accessibility to everyone that we have in the world today. This glorified idea has pushed many to disappointment, burnout, even depression. Janet and Brian share their experience with this idea of hustle culture and much of the downsides. Is it really a surprise that with all this hustling that Gen Z and Millennials are said to be the loneliest generations? I mean, Asians by general modern-day culture operate in this mindset. They likely know a thing or two about it.   Check out the K-Town Rumble Website: https://www.ktownrumble.com/   Follow us on social media: https://www.instagram.com/ktownrumble/ https://www.instagram.com/therealjanetlee/ https://www.instagram.com/thisisbrianlee/

Janet and Brian get into talking about what it means to be American (or part of America). There’s so much that influences our Asian-American/immigrant identities around the social issues that have been ignited again in our society. It brings a lot of internal conflict on matters of patriotism all while seeing the challenges that we struggle with today as it’s directly related to issues of racism related to COVID-19, accessibility to healthcare, police brutality against protestors, etc. They share their perspectives on the pros and cons of citizenship in the US vs South Korea as well as their thoughts around how they identify in their nationality and some of the reasons behind it. Tune in to hear more!   Check out the K-Town Rumble Website: https://www.ktownrumble.com/   Follow us on social media: https://www.instagram.com/ktownrumble/ https://www.instagram.com/therealjanetlee/ https://www.instagram.com/thisisbrianlee/

Good communication is a major influencer in the success of any relationship. What does this look like when there are obstacles like language and/or culture barriers that make it harder to do. Brian shares some of the changes he’s made in the way that he communicates with Janet as she confirms whether or not these changes even took place. She’s the judge in this episode. One thing’s for sure, they both made an effort to make this work in a way that works for them. Never perfect, but always progressing. Tune in to hear it from them!   Check out the K-Town Rumble Website: https://www.ktownrumble.com/   Follow us on social media: https://www.instagram.com/ktownrumble/ https://www.instagram.com/therealjanetlee/ https://www.instagram.com/thisisbrianlee/

What happens when the honeymoon period has passed. Complacency creeps in with this couple who have been living together and dated for 3 years. What does a girl do when her boyfriend thinks that she “always” wants to be together when in reality, there’s not a whole lot going on between the two of them? This seems to happen to couples often. Janet and Brian talk through what this looks like to them and how they’d work through it.   Reddit Topic Link: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/hdh1cr/i_want_more_quality_time_with_my_boyfriend_he/   Check out the K-Town Rumble Website: https://www.ktownrumble.com/   Follow us on social media: https://www.instagram.com/ktownrumble/ https://www.instagram.com/therealjanetlee/ https://www.instagram.com/thisisbrianlee/

Looking back, the gender roles of the past look very different than what they look like today. Even so, old school expectations have left their mark. Any person with an Asian heritage knows, being male in the social hierarchy is a big deal. In this episode, Janet reflects on favoritism towards boys when she was growing up in Korea. The remnants of the influence still remain although a lot of progress has been made. We going to be exploring some of the history behind where these ideas may come from to think about how we got here. Remember Confucius? He had some old-timey ideas.    Check out the K-Town Rumble Website: https://www.ktownrumble.com/   Follow us on social media: https://www.instagram.com/ktownrumble/ https://www.instagram.com/therealjanetlee/ https://www.instagram.com/thisisbrianlee/