Life Over Coffee with Rick Thomas

Children were never meant to earn affection. That idea didn't come from God but from legalistic, conditional relationships. Christian parents are called to imitate God the Father, and one of the most critical ways we do that is by loving our children simply because they belong to us. That's how God loves His children. Of course, we know they are not perfect. There is a time and a way to deal with their disobedience, but the foundation of their upbringing must be the constant, unwavering assurance of love. Love should be an uninterrupted expectation in a child's life. When that expectation is consistently met, you give them something sturdy—something God-centered—to build on. Without that, their souls will develop around a hollow craving. Their hearts will fracture. They'll grow up into complicated people. Let's consider four such individuals. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/when-you-make-your-child-work-for-your-affection/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/

It is not uncommon—actually, it is entirely typical—for individuals to struggle with fear of man, and equally common is the confusion surrounding how to come alongside others caught in this deeply embedded sin. This struggle isn't merely a personality quirk or emotional tendency. It is a heart issue rooted in misplaced worship. Addressing this problem requires a twofold approach: we must teach on the issue regularly and with clarity, and we must create intentional relational contexts where we can practically walk each other through the universal battle with fear, shame, and guilt. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/the-sobering-reason-its-hard-to-overcome-insecurity/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/

This song was created by Jonathan Holden. He and his wife are missionaries in Angola, Africa. They serve the Navigators ministry, raising leaders for Christ, and sending them to the world. He loves Life Over Coffee, and wanted to bless us with his creative work. Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Have you ever tried to train a flea? As odd as that may sound, the concept is not only real—it's incredibly instructive. The process is simple. You place a flea—or perhaps a flock of fleas (though I'm not convinced “flock” is the technical term)—into a Mason jar and seal the lid tightly. You then leave the jar alone for three full days. After that time, you unscrew the lid. Here's the shocking part: the flea will not escape. It will jump—but never high enough to leave the jar. It has been trained. Conditioned. Even without the lid, it now believes it cannot be free. Even more sobering: if you have two fleas of the opposite sex, their offspring will be the same. Though they've never encountered the lid, they, too, will not escape. It's a generational curse. Fleas born into captivity stay there—even when the top is off. Read, Watch, Listen: lifeovercoffee.com/how-to-train-yo…led-by-someone/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here lifeovercoffee.com/donate/

Obedience is not a transaction with God. It is not a lever you pull to manipulate His pleasure, nor a means of earning divine approval. Obedience flows from a heart that the gospel has radically transformed. It rises not from a place of fear or striving but from a settled gratitude—a soul that knows it has been loved and accepted fully in Christ. To obey God rightly is to respond to His love, not to attempt to earn it. That distinction changes everything. Read, Watch, Listen: lifeovercoffee.com/the-danger-of-t…-to-please-god/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here lifeovercoffee.com/donate/. Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

No godly parent wakes up thinking, “How can I lead my child toward pornography today?” And yet, it happens. Parents unintentionally train their children toward a distorted view of sex by what they do, what they ignore, and what they fail to value in the home. This chapter is not a list of parenting failures to shame you; it is a sober warning about the unintended ways we may contribute to the porn problem, even while sincerely desiring our children to walk in purity. Ignorance is not innocence. A careless or inconsistent home can become the training ground for porn use later in life. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/five-sure-fire-ways-to-motivate-your-child-to-use-porn/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

What the Bible calls the fear of man goes by many names in modern parlance, often cloaked in socially acceptable language or chalked up to personality quirks. But beneath the surface of these terms is a controlling belief system—a misplaced trust in people over God. When we speak of traits like insecurity, peer pressure, or people-pleasing, we're not just pointing out emotional struggles or behavioral patterns. We are exposing a functional theology—a core belief system about where our hope lies and what ultimately defines our worth. The fear of man is far more than a social discomfort; it's a faith issue. It reveals where we are placing our confidence. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/synonyms-for-insecurity-or-fear-of-man/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Several years ago, I was meeting with a teenage boy who, with striking honesty and a disarming sense of cultural awareness, looked at me and said, “Mr. Thomas, you don't wear Walmart to high school.” His words were clear, unfiltered, and surprisingly profound. In that simple statement, this young man had unwittingly diagnosed one of the most pervasive and deeply embedded issues that afflict every human heart: the powerful pull of the fear of man. With his comment, he laid bare his internal struggle—one we all know too well—the temptation to let the collective opinions of others define our choices, values, and even our self-worth. Though he may not have used theological language, he was describing the reality of being mastered by what others think of him. Read, Watch, Listen: lifeovercoffee.com/the-story-of-th…lled-by-others/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here lifeovercoffee.com/donate/

When your heart is not being obedient because you “just don't feel like doing the right thing,” you need to be obedient anyway to get your heart in the right place. We've all had those times of being out-of-sorts and apathetic about doing the right thing. It's not a posture of the heart to applaud, but how do you move forward when desires are low? In such cases, rote, black-and-white obedience is a great way to change what's going on inside of you. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/when-obedience-collides-with-emotion/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/

Ryan Maher joins me to talk about one of the most pressing questions Christians face: how do you trust God when life doesn't make sense? In this conversation, we move beyond surface-level answers and wrestle with the deeper issue—what we actually believe about God's character when suffering enters our lives. Ryan shares his burden to confront common misconceptions about God and to help people rebuild a biblically grounded trust in Him. We also explore how distorted views of God quietly shape fear, control, and functional unbelief in everyday life. If you've ever struggled to reconcile God's goodness with your experience, this conversation will challenge and help you think more clearly and trust more deeply. Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-576-ryan-maher-the-god-worth-trusting/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Our memories can play tricks on our minds, and if we're not careful, we can grow dissatisfied with our lives while giving too much thought to a past that was not how we had hoped. We may even revise our past—unwittingly—to fit a narrative we prefer. Learning how to capture these uninvited, rogue memories and submit them to Christ's obedience is crucial. Let me illustrate what I mean with my friend, Biff. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/memories-forgetting-past-relationship-thoughts/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Faithful shepherding in a digital age begins when parents recognize how technology both reveals and shapes the desires of the heart. Devices do not create our problems—they expose what is already ruling us—making wise, intentional discipleship in the home essential. As screens influence identity, relationships, attention, and worship, parents must move beyond managing behavior to shepherding hearts, helping their children interpret life biblically and follow Christ in a world that is constantly discipling them in a different direction. Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-575-shepherding-your-family-in-a-digital-age/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

If your life was put in three different file drawers that represented your past, present, and future, which of the file drawers drains the most joy out of your life? For example, if there is a disruption of your contentment, it would indicate something has gone wrong in—at least—one of your file drawers. Thus, you would identify the problem and begin to restore contentment by isolating the issue and initiating a process to bring the gospel to bear on what seeks to disrupt your mind. To help drill down into this concept, I have developed three mind maps to bring clarity to taking our rogue thoughts captive. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/how-to-change-your-thought-life/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/

The noetic effect of sin means our thinking can be stinking at times. Humans, born in the image of God, fell into sin. Our fall broke the purity and clarity of the mind that God gave to us. We need a change of mind, which the mind map in this chapter will help us to understand. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/mind-mapping-stinking-thinking-thoughts-on-how-to-change-your-mind/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/

Physical intimacy in marriage is not merely a physical act—it is a spiritual indicator of the health of a relationship. Because the fall introduced shame, selfishness, and hiding into the human heart, couples carry broken patterns into marriage. But through repentance, gospel-centered love, and biblical koinonia, God transforms intimacy from self-centered desire into a Christ-reflecting union. Watch or Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-574-redeeming-physical-intimacy/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Have you ever accused yourself of something that was not true? It's when you gaslight yourself, telling yourself something that is false. Any false argument launched against yourself can quickly turn into a mental stronghold that could debilitate you spiritually. We are susceptible to false arguments that can take control of our minds. These recurring thought patterns, when left unchecked, will become the dominating arguments of our minds, even to the point where they become our new truth—our new way of thinking. A stronghold is the instrument that shapes how we interpret and respond to life. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/how-to-take-every-thought-captive-the-battle-for-your-mind/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Your emotions can be good or bad, but in either case, they accurately reflect what is happening in your thought life. If the emotions are right, the person is thinking and responding correctly. If a person's emotions are not biblically aligned with God's Word, they need intentional, compassionate, and patient biblical care to help change their thinking. Let me illustrate. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/emotional-problems-point-to-a-poor-thought-life/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Suffering does not have to destroy a marriage, but it can reveal the hearts within it. Trials expose what we trust, what we fear, and what we worship. When couples learn to interpret suffering through the gospel, hardship becomes one of God's primary tools for humility, repentance, deeper unity, and spiritual maturity. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-573-when-suffering-enters-your-marriage/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Some phrases are so catchy that they become part of our Christian vocabulary almost without question. Over time, these sayings turn into clichés—short, memorable expressions that capture an idea. There is nothing inherently wrong with this form of expression. A well-crafted phrase can serve as a helpful reminder of biblical truths. But when a cliché lacks theological depth and precision, it can do more harm than good. One such phrase is the distinction between head knowledge and heart knowledge. Read, Watch, or Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/problem-head-knowledge-versus-heart-knowledge/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Most marriage problems are not communication problems. They are repentance problems. When husbands and wives learn how to practice biblical repentance, conflict becomes the doorway to humility, forgiveness, and deeper relational intimacy. Read, Watch, Listen: Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Where do you begin when it comes to establishing and building friendships? May I suggest that you start with an uber-honesty with God? Building relationally with others should always begin with the Lord. Start by telling Him what He already knows about you. If you are married, you want to bring your spouse into these intimate and vulnerable moments with the Lord. Most of us have a secret world of shame, hurt, pain, and dread. With baby steps, you begin sharing your vulnerable self with those you trust. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/thoughts-on-how-to-build-with-each-other-relationally/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

How do you stay true to what you believe while not offending those who aren't willing to get on board with your perspectives and practices? What if you have a weaker brother or sister whom you can't correct? Does the weakest link in the relationship determine how things will be? When do you take a stand for what you believe; when do you capitulate to the other person? There are always two ditches in these types of relationships. You aim to stay out of both of them. In one, you cater to the person because you don't want to offend them, or you could bull your way through without caring for the other person. Let me illustrate. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/how-to-love-a-difficult-person-without-them-controlling-you/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Every couple experiences conflict, but arguments are rarely about the issue on the surface. Conflict reveals what we love, what we fear, and what we believe will make us happy. When husbands and wives misunderstand the purpose of conflict, they either avoid it, escalate it, or weaponize it against one another. In this session, we will explore why conflict happens, what it exposes in the heart, and how the gospel provides a pathway for restoration, humility, and deeper intimacy in marriage. Read, Watch, Listen: Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Building a close network of friends inside a local church is one of the most challenging things you'll ever do. Will you consider how you could position yourself for this kind of community? Let's begin with a word cloud. As you scan my list of words, what is the common denominator that connects all of them? There are probably several excellent answers. What would you say is the one thing that ties all of these words together? Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/three-keys-to-make-your-small-group-dynamic/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Is your small group living in-depth, transparent, intentional, reciprocating lives who have strong desires to change personally and as a group? Perhaps it's a men's group or a community group of ladies. It could be a mixed group that meets to go over the sermon or a book. How would you describe those gatherings? One of the most significant pitfalls that can stagnate any community group is shallowness, which implies there is no transformative force in the individual lives and a growing frustration among some of the participants due to the general shallowness of the group. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/the-revolutionary-cure-for-shallow-small-group-frustration/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

When couples say they have a communication problem, they are usually looking for techniques to improve how they talk. But communication struggles begin in the heart. New habits will only produce temporary improvement. In this session, we will explore how the gospel transforms the heart so that couples can move from talk trouble to genuine biblical koinonia—a shared life of honesty, humility, and grace. Watch: https://lifeovercoffee.com/ep-570-from-talk-trouble-to-koinonia/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Would it be better to have a Bible or a mentor? You might think my question is a trick question, though it is not meant to be. The potential dilemma is intended to provoke you to think first, respond second, and discuss thoroughly. The obvious answer to the question is both. The Bible does not say the Bible alone is all you need to change. The Bible does not suggest that all you need is a discipler. At different times and in different ways, the Bible makes a case for both of these options to be part of a person's overall soul care package. Actually, the Bible teaches that there are five ways a person can change. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/which-do-you-need-for-your-maturity-a-bible-or-a-mentor/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Sometimes in life, you have to get into a conflict with someone. This dreaded reality is not a wish, desire, or prayer request but rather a common-sense perspective that comes with living in a sin-cursed world. It is impossible to have two or more humans living close to each other for an extended period and not have relational conflict. Sin does not accommodate our desires for peace or present a path of least resistance. Dealing with reality is a better starting point than pretending that bad things will never happen. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/there-are-times-when-you-have-to-get-into-conflict/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Marriage is hard. That may not sound spiritual, but it's certainly biblical. From the moment sin entered the garden, marriage has been both a battlefield and a blessing. And if you've ever tried to love someone as much as you love yourself, you know the cost. That's why this book matters. In Marriage or Mayhem?, I offer more than principles—I offer a framework, a theology, and a map. With years of experience counseling couples in crisis and equipping churches to disciple well, I learned a few things about getting beneath the surface. I name the real problems—idolatry, self-centeredness, functional theology—and bring the only real solution: Christ at the center. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/chapter-eleven-marriage-or-mayhem-marriage-defined/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

The title sounds careless and possibly scary, but before you blow a gasket, let me ask, “Have you reached sinless perfection yet?” We can pretend there is a secret in all our lives, but the truth is that it is not a secret at all: we still sin against God and each other. We might love God and others as we love ourselves, but we most certainly sin against God and others, too. This undeniable truth is a call to action to prepare for the inevitable. Like a wise financial steward who knows hard times are coming, he budgets for those difficult days. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/budget-sin-into-your-small-group-experience/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Your friends are deeply distressed about the sudden change in their teenage son's behavior. Once known for his gentle demeanor, he is now withdrawn, frequently angry, and openly disrespectful toward them. Their concern deepens when they discover, after persistent questioning, that their son has been engaging in self-harming behaviors, specifically cutting. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/case-study-bug-off-an-angry-teen/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

There is a common rhetorical move in contemporary trauma-informed care conversations that sounds compassionate on the surface but is deeply reductionistic underneath. It frames care in terms of a binary: instead of asking, “What is wrong with you?” we should ask, “What has happened to you?” That contrast is often presented as enlightened and humane. The first question is portrayed as accusatory, shaming, harsh. The second is portrayed as empathetic, validating, and safe. That binary is not only simplistic; it is misleading. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-569-the-false-choice-in-trauma-informed-care/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Mable and Biff have enjoyed a beautiful relationship during their seven years of marriage. They have two children, ages five and two. However, Mable is facing a challenging situation with her mother, who has been pressuring her to spend more time with her during the week. Mable's father is passive, and her mother has always been the dominant figure in the home. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/how-do-i-honor-my-older-parents/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Biff and Mable adopted Biffina when she was a toddler, bringing her into their family with high hopes and good intentions. Now, years later, Mable has begun referring to Biffina as her “practice child,” a term that reflects her frustration and disappointment over Biffina's rebellious behavior. In contrast, Mable describes their biological daughter, Biffette, as easier to parent, further widening the relational gap between the family members. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/case-study-practice-parenting-with-adoptive-kids/

Show Notes: Rick Thomas interviews Jonathan Tepper, the author of Shooting Up: A Memoir of Love, Loss, and Addiction, a coming-of-age memoir set in Madrid's San Blas neighborhood during Spain's heroin and AIDS crisis. Raised by missionary parents who founded a drug rehabilitation center at the height of the epidemic, Tepper tells a gritty, lyrical story of addiction, recovery, faith, and loss, as seen through the eyes of an American boy growing up in the middle of it. Watch or Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-568-jonathan-tepper-shooting-up-a-memoir-of-love-loss-and-addiction/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Mable laments, “This is not what I signed up for,” reflecting her deep regret over their 11-year marriage. Their relationship has stagnated, feeling more like two individuals cohabiting than a unified partnership. Biff spends his time at work with his friends while Mable escapes into her routines, often turning to cyber friends on social media for connection. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/case-study-no-more-fun-with-biff-and-mable/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Mable feels trapped in a marriage where her husband, Biff, has emotionally and relationally checked out. His indifference has tempted her to find self-worth through a series of surrogate husbands, such as achievements, ministry, and activities, none of which have provided the fulfillment she craves.  Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/case-study-confession-of-an-imposters-wife/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Shows Main Idea – This episode celebrates God's sovereign hand in America's founding by telling the often-overlooked story of Cynthia Scott—a woman whose quiet faith, courage, and conviction shaped history behind the scenes. Rather than political nostalgia or cultural noise, the conversation calls listeners to see America's origins through a biblical lens, recognizing how ordinary believers trusted God, acted faithfully, and left a legacy that still matters today. Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-567-cynthia-scott-celebrating-god-americas-founder/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Biff has battled drug addiction for the past 23 years, repeatedly promising Mable that he would quit. Each time, remorse follows his failures, but his empty assurances have left Mable growing increasingly impatient and disillusioned. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/case-study-the-addict-and-his-wife/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

When asked why she sought counseling, Mable explained that her teenage daughter was in rebellion. However, she was caught off guard when the counselor redirected the conversation to the state of their marriage—wondering why he would begin there. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/trouble-teen/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Shows Main Idea – In this episode, I sit down with Elizabeth Urbanowicz, founder of Foundation Worldview, to talk honestly and practically about how parents can disciple their children in a sexualized and confused culture—without fear, shame, or avoidance. Watch or Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-566-elizabeth-urbanowicz-helping-your-kids-know-gods-good-design/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Five years ago, Mable and Biff had a whirlwind dating relationship. They were impure, though they rationalized their behavior by marrying hastily. Friends expressed concerns but chose not to intervene, as the couple kept their distance from caring relationships. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/case-study-the-spear-you-sharpen-may-stab-you-in-the-heart/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Mable has left Biff after 24 years of marriage, citing patterns of ongoing anger, four episodes of physical abuse, mental manipulation, devaluing behavior, and public embarrassment in front of their five children. She also pointed to Biff's unwillingness to seek help as evidence of his lack of desire to change. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/case-study-what-about-biff/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Main Idea – In this episode, we're taking an honest look at a subtle but serious drift in how biblical counseling is sometimes applied—specifically, the quiet replacement of parenting with counseling. What starts with good intentions can easily move into territory that undermines the very structure God put in place for child formation: the home. Together, we'll explore the differences between counseling and parenting, the limitations of counseling young children, and how counselors can serve families without displacing parents' authority and responsibility. We'll also touch on the vital role extended family and mentors play in the lives of teens and how faithfulness, not efficiency, is the metric for change. Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-565-when-biblical-counseling-replaces-parenting/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

This Thanksgiving is a particularly challenging milestone for Biff—it is his first holiday without his wife and children. Earlier this year, his 17-year marriage to Mable ended after years of mediocrity and unresolved conflict. Mable has custody of their three teenage sons, who blame Biff for the divorce. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/case-study-thanks-thanksgiving/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Mable recently discovered that her husband, Biff, has been living in adultery for over five years. The shocking revelation came after she found a bar receipt in his wallet, which led to confrontation, further investigation, and confirmation of the affair. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/case-study-the-sinning-victim/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Marriage is hard. That may not sound spiritual, but it's certainly biblical. From the moment sin entered the garden, marriage has been both a battlefield and a blessing. And if you've ever tried to love someone as much as you love yourself, you know the cost. That's why this book matters. In Marriage or Mayhem?, I offer more than principles—I offer a framework, a theology, and a map. With years of experience counseling couples in crisis and equipping churches to disciple well, I learned a few things about getting beneath the surface. I name the real problems—idolatry, self-centeredness, functional theology—and bring the only real solution: Christ at the center. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/chapter-five-marriage-or-mayhem-reclassified-desires/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/