Loving On Purpose

The most dreaded day of the year for many Mothers.  My heart goes out to those who could never be a mother whether it be from not getting married to infertility problems.Any enjoyment we get from life is generated by our thoughts.  What thoughts we think and choose to hang on to bring us pleasure or pain.  If we have a disappointing Mother's Day, it's all because of disappointing thoughts we choose to believe are true.  Listen to this episode to learn what your responsibility is in having an enjoyable Mother's Day.Have you received my new resource "3 Steps To Be Yourself Around Your Adult Children?" Click HERE to receive it. You'll be amazed what life offers you when you take back the power to be yourself around everyone.Have you ever considered 1:1 coaching? To get started, book a complimentary call with me to find out what the cause of your struggling relationship is with your adult child. Go to bonnielyman.com (click here) to book a call.

Have you given up hope on actualizing a better relationship with an adult child?This episode is for YOU!  our biggest roadblock is not being willing to wait for them to want a connection with us. And it does happen.  I share an experience in my own life where after three years of a non-existent relation with one of my children we are speaking and connecting with each other that I never dreamed possible.  I talk about in this episode why it's important to wait and  how to wait without feeling hopeless.Have you received my new resource "3 Steps To Be Yourself Around Your Adult Children?" Click HERE to receive it. You'll be amazed what life offers you when you take back the power to be yourself around everyone.Have you ever considered 1:1 coaching? To get started, book a complimentary call with me to find out what the cause of your struggling relationship is with your adult child. Go to bonnielyman.com (click here) to book a call.

Are you feeling unimportant because your child don't call you or invite you out to dinner?  Are you frustrated because you always have to reach out to them?  Are you disappointed on your birthday because they didn't plan a celebration for you?  Are you already dreading Mother's Day?  If your answer was yes to any of these questions, this podcast is for you.  I discuss how to remedy these concerns.  I help you understand what the real problem is in not living the life you thought you would be living and how to create a life you wish you were living.My daughter Natalie Clay, a marriage Life Coach, is offering a free class on Thursday, April 11, 2024  at 6:00pm PDT called DISAGREE WITHOUT ARGUING.  Even though it is focused toward couples it is easily applied to how to disagree without arguing with adult children.Click Here to register.  You need to register to have access to the replay.Have you received my new resource "3 Steps To Be Yourself Around Your Adult Children?" Click HERE to receive it. You'll be amazed what life offers you when you take back the power to be yourself around everyone.Have you ever considered 1:1 coaching? To get started, book a complimentary call with me to find out what the cause of your struggling relationship is with your adult child. Go to bonnielyman.com (click here) to book a call.

I'm interviewing my good friend Kurt Francom who is the founder and executive director of the non-profit organization , Leading Saints.  He also has a weekly podcast by the same name, which I highly recommend.  His mission is to help us become better leaders whether it's in a church position or as a leader of a family.  His podcast covers a various range of topics.  Today I'm interviewing him about his newly published book, "IS GOD DISAPPOINTED IN ME?  Removing Shame from a Gospel of Grace.".  We discuss how really understanding how much God loves us helps us be better parents.  We talk about why we don't need to worry about the disappointing actions of our children in relation to their standing with God.  I think you will find this episode enlightening but even more inspiring is his book.Click here to order the book.  It is available in paperback, audio, and Kindle versions.To learn more about his organization and to get access to a library full of helps on topics of controversial nature that may be pertinent to some of the issues families struggle with regarding their adult children, click here to go to his website.To listen to his podcast, click here.Have you received my new resource "3 Steps To Be Yourself Around Your Adult Children?" Click HERE to receive it. You'll be amazed what life offers you when you take back the power to be yourself around everyone.Have you ever considered 1:1 coaching? To get started, book a complimentary call with me to find out what the cause of your struggling relationship is with your adult child. Go to bonnielyman.com (click here) to book a call.

What you think is the problem between you and your adult children is probably not what you think it is.  We were raised to believe that the way they behave toward us causes us to feel a certain way.  If they have very little contact with us, we may feel we are unimportant to them.  Their behavior is the circumstance.  Circumstances are neutral.  They are the actual facts about the situation.  The circumstance causes us to have certain thoughts.  These thoughts cause us to feel in a certain way.  Knowing the cause of our problems (our thoughts not our children's behavior) is they key to feeling the emotion you want to feel, in any situation, by managing our thoughts.  Listen to this episode to hear true stories of how to make this happen in your life.Have you received my new resource "3 Steps To Be Yourself Around Your Adult Children?" Click HERE to receive it. You'll be amazed what life offers you when you take back the power to be yourself around everyone.Have you ever considered 1:1 coaching? To get started, book a complimentary call with me to find out what the cause of your struggling relationship is with your adult child. Go to bonnielyman.com (click here) to book a call.

Isn't it great when all of your family members can gather together?  We all have different opinions as to why or maybe even why not.  I am sharing some of my observations in navigating life with adult children of how different topics of information are shared depending on what makes up the family gatherings.  In this episode I discuss what I found happens to me and my involvement and interaction with my children in an entire group gathering; a single family event; only my adult children getting together with us (no grandchildren); when we meet with one of our children and their spouse; what it's like for us when we meet singly with one of our children.  Each situation creates a different result.  Listen to decide what works for you.Have you received my new resource "3 Steps To Be Yourself Around Your Adult Children?" Click HERE to receive it. You'll be amazed what life offers you when you take back the power to be yourself around everyone.Have you ever considered 1:1 coaching? To get started, book a complimentary call with me to find out what the cause of your struggling relationship is with your adult child. Go to bonnielyman.com (click here) to book a call.

Many of us had expectations of when we had adult children what life would be like.  We thought we would be involved in their lives.  When this expectation or need is not fulfilled we often feel unimportant and unloved.  As an adult, we are responsible for fulfilling our own needs.  One way to accomplish that is to spend more time with friends.We are fulfilling our own needs by finding like minded people to associate with.  It is not our children's responsibility to fulfill our needs.  They don't OWE us anything.  In this episode I talk about why our children possibly are helping fulfill our needs and five benefits to having friends to fulfill our need to love and be loved.Have you received my new resource "3 Steps To Be Yourself Around Your Adult Children?" Click HERE to receive it. You'll be amazed what life offers you when you take back the power to be yourself around everyone.Have you ever considered 1:1 coaching? To get started, book a complimentary call with me to find out what the cause of your struggling relationship is with your adult child. Go to bonnielyman.com (click here) to book a call.

All of us have people in our lives that we dislike.  It seems especially painful when we dislike and finally own that we really don't like one our adult children. Sometimes we try to move too fast out of feeling this way instead of "being" with this emotion for a while. In this episode I tell of reasons some of my clients have chosen to dislike their children, why it's owning our thoughts are causing this feeling, and not the circumstance of our children's behavior, and some remedies, some new thoughts to start “trying on” to find peace with your feelings about your adult children. Have you received my new resource "3 Steps To Be Yourself Around Your Adult Children?" Click HERE to receive it. You'll be amazed what life offers you when you take back the power to be yourself around everyone.Have you ever considered 1:1 coaching? To get started, book a complimentary call with me to find out what the cause of your struggling relationship is with your adult child. Go to bonnielyman.com (click here) to book a call.

The freedom to be free of non-serving emotions, feelings that don't help us live emotionally healthy lives, can happen in our lives when we are trained in how to have thoughts that empower us and give us permission to be ourselves.  First, we need to let go of the thought that we feel we need approval in order to like ourselves.  Second, we need to quit being the victim to what's happening in our lives and starting creating the life we want to live by managing our thoughts.  I call this the practice of emotional self-care.  In this episode I give you suggestions on how to implement some thoughts to free you to be free from what's holding you back from living a happy life.Have you received my new resource "3 Steps To Be Yourself Around Your Adult Children?" Click HERE to receive it. You'll be amazed what life offers you when you take back the power to be yourself around everyone.Have you ever considered 1:1 coaching? To get started, book a complimentary call with me to find out what the cause of your struggling relationship is with your adult child. Go to bonnielyman.com (click here) to book a call.

Our relationship with our spouse is probably the relationship we should be spending the most time strengthening.  I believe families can be together forever, even after we die.  But I have millions of ancestors and could potentially have millions pf predecessors so that seems like a bigger gathering than I can imagine.  But I can wrap my mind around being with my husband forever.  We worry about being with our children for eternity because of some of their behaviors.  But what about  my behavior toward my husband isn showing him love, kindness, and respect?  Could I be better?  Both relationships are important but I believe that if I work at managing my thoughts around my husband, if I practice being the person I want to be around my husband, it then transfers to how I treat everyone.  Love is always the best choice.Have you received my new resource "3 Steps To Be Yourself Around Your Adult Children?" Click HERE to receive it. You'll be amazed what life offers you when you take back the power to be yourself around everyone.Have you ever considered 1:1 coaching? To get started, book a complimentary call with me to find out what the cause of your struggling relationship is with your adult child. Go to bonnielyman.com (click here) to book a call.

Do you fear your adult children may cut you off from having any contact with their family and your grandchildren if you disappoint them?  Feeling this way does not help in building a good relationship with them. And feeling fearful is one of the worst feelings to feel.  In this episode I give reasons why we have this fear, how this feeling is causing you to live in scarcity and six suggestions on how to stop having this fear.Have you received my new resource "3 Steps To Be Yourself Around Your Adult Children?" Click HERE to receive it. You'll be amazed what life offers you when you take back the power to be yourself around everyone.Have you ever considered 1:1 coaching? To get started, book a complimentary call with me to find out what the cause of your struggling relationship is with your adult child. Go to bonnielyman.com (click here) to book a call.

It's wonderful all the adult opinions there are out there in the world.  When we collaborate we have come up with some amazing creations, inventions, advancements in medicine and technology.  But we humans often struggle in our relationships when our opinions differ.  This episode is about when we disappoint our children by a decision we have made and what we can do to have the confidence in ourselves to move forward.  It explains why we can't make them feel better about our decision but what we can do to find peace in a contentious situation.  Have you received my new resource "3 Steps To Be Yourself Around Your Adult Children?" Click HERE to receive it. You'll be amazed what life offers you when you take back the power to be yourself around everyone.Have you ever considered 1:1 coaching? To get started, book a complimentary call with me to find out what the cause of your struggling relationship is with your adult child. Go to bonnielyman.com (click here) to book a call.

We are the creators of our experiences in our lives.  If you don't like the results of the circumstances or happenings in your life, you can change them by changing how you want to feel, or contribute, or be in response to your circumstances.  We can't change our circumstances, we can't change how our adult children act around us, but we can change how we respond to their actions and this controls what kind of result we have in our life in regard to any specific circumstance.  The circumstance does not determine the results of the life we live; it's our response, our actions, our thoughts that determine whether we like or dislike the experience we having.Have you received my new resource "3 Steps To Be Yourself Around Your Adult Children?" Click HERE to receive it. You'll be amazed what life offers you when you take back the power to be yourself around everyone.Have you ever considered 1:1 coaching? To get started, book a complimentary call with me to find out what the cause of your struggling relationship is with your adult child. Go to bonnielyman.com (click here) to book a call.

I share in this episode three stories of past clients who loved their estranged children enough to wait until their children were ready to heal the relationship.  I recieved three emails within a month from these past clients exclaiming their joy and gratitude to God for coming forth of their children indicating they wish to restore their relationships with their parents.  Love always wins...again. Have you received my new resource "3 Steps To Be Yourself Around Your Adult Children?" Click HERE to receive it. You'll be amazed what life offers you when you take back the power to be yourself around everyone.Have you ever considered 1:1 coaching? To get started, book a complimentary call with me to find out what the cause of your struggling relationship is with your adult child. Go to bonnielyman.com (click here) to book a call.

What causes us to not always act like the kind, loving parent we want to be to our adult children?  No.  It's not because they are unkind and unloving.  It's because you may think you are feeling love for your child but perhaps you're feeling resentful that they are unkind and unloving.  Feeling resentful is going to cause you to show up as resentful....not kind and loving.  Listen to this episode where I talk about what we need to do to act like the person we want to be.  What you do is caused by how you feel.  I explain in more detail in this episode what that statement means.Have you received my new resource "3 Steps To Be Yourself Around Your Adult Children?" Click HERE to receive it. You'll be amazed what life offers you when you take back the power to be yourself around everyone.Have you ever considered 1:1 coaching? To get started, book a complimentary call with me to find out what the cause of your struggling relationship is with your adult child. Go to bonnielyman.com (click here) to book a call.

We clean our houses more than we clean out our minds.  When we practice getting rid of some of the harmful thoughts we hang onto in our minds we free ourselves to choose thoughts that serve us and help us to see things from a more beneficial perspective.  When we clean out our minds we tend to not take things more personally.  We tend to get more curious and less judgmental in our thoughts which results in us being closer to living the life we ant to live.Have you received my new resource "3 Steps To Be Yourself Around Your Adult Children?" Click HERE to receive it. You'll be amazed what life offers you when you take back the power to be yourself around everyone.Have you ever considered 1:1 coaching? To get started, book a complimentary call with me to find out what the cause of your struggling relationship is with your adult child. Go to bonnielyman.com (click here) to book a call.

Not many parents talk about their relationships with their adult children especially if they are struggling in it.  Nobody told us we would be expecting our needs would be met at this time in our lives by our involvement with our adult kids.  No one told us that we are responsible for fulfilling our own needs, of finding our own happiness, not our children, not even our husbands.  Just because we may not be included in our adult children's lives as much as we would like doesn't mean they love us less.  Nothing has gone wrong; it's just different than we not only expected but were also hoping for. What do you want to do with your life now that your role as a parent has changed.Have you received my new resource "3 Steps To Be Yourself Around Your Adult Children?" Click HERE to receive it. You'll be amazed what life offers you when you take back the power to be yourself around everyone.Have you ever considered 1:1 coaching? To get started, book a complimentary call with me to find out what the cause of your struggling relationship is with your adult child. Go to bonnielyman.com (click here) to book a call.

Faith to me is knowing God conspirers in my favor.  Faith is knowing that God knows what's best for us and has a plan to get His children back to Him.  Faith causes me to not give up on my adult children.  Faith is knowing  what my responsibility is to my adult children and the most important is to stay out of God's business.   Faith is knowing He loves them more than we do.  Faith is knowing part of the plan is opposition.David Bednar video "How Will I know Where I'll Go When I Die ?"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mi31zXs-Ldk&t=2sHave you received my new resource "3 Steps To Be Yourself Around Your Adult Children?" Click HERE to receive it. You'll be amazed what life offers you when you take back the power to be yourself around everyone.Have you ever considered 1:1 coaching? To get started, book a complimentary call with me to find out what the cause of your struggling relationship is with your adult child. Go to bonnielyman.com (click here) to book a call.

We know we judge others, especially our adult children, too often but we don't know how to stop.  Even knowing that we don't like how we feel when we're judging them doesn't making us stop.   We think we have some control over them living a happier life if we just help them see their weaknesses.  But this is a little lie our brain tricks into thinking.  In this episode you'll learn four suggestions on how to stop judging others.Have you received my new resource "3 Steps To Be Yourself Around Your Adult Children?" Click HERE to receive it. You'll be amazed what life offers you when you take back the power to be yourself around everyone.Have you ever considered 1:1 coaching? To get started, book a complimentary call with me to find out what the cause of your struggling relationship is with your adult child. Go to bonnielyman.com (click here) to book a call.

I can help people solve any problem with their adult child but that's not entirely true.  The teachings of Jesus Christ show us the way to solve any problem.  What I do is show people how to apply the teachings in their lives and where to start learning how to do that.  Listen to this episode where I offer some scriptures that can be applied to choosing love, forgiveness and compassion rather than judgement.Have you received my new resource "3 Steps To Be Yourself Around Your Adult Children?" Click HERE to receive it. You'll be amazed what life offers you when you take back the power to be yourself around everyone.Have you ever considered 1:1 coaching? To get started, book a complimentary call with me to find out what the cause of your struggling relationship is with your adult child. Go to bonnielyman.com (click here) to book a call.

No excuses now.  I offer you 100 ways you can show your adult children you love them even if they don't share their love back with you.  Love is always a choice.  Love just loves.  Love will always feel best.Have you received my new resource "3 Steps To Be Yourself Around Your Adult Children?" Click HERE to receive it. You'll be amazed what life offers you when you take back the power to be yourself around everyone.Have you ever considered 1:1 coaching? To get started, book a complimentary call with me to find out what the cause of your struggling relationship is with your adult child. Go to bonnielyman.com (click here) to book a call.

This is a replay of a podcast I published a year ago but I felt it worth rebroadcasting it.The most healthiest emotion we can have is gratitude.  When we are thankful for all the good things in life we enjoy we have a better connection with God, with our family, and with ourselves.  We live in abundance rather than scarcity.  We realize we already have so much of what we want in life.  Being grateful enables us to live a very satisfying life.See full show notes and transcript HERE.Have you received my new resource "3 Steps To Be Yourself Around Your Adult Children?" Click HERE to receive it. You'll be amazed what life offers you when you take back the power to be yourself around everyone.Have you ever considered 1:1 coaching? To get started, book a complimentary call with me to find out what the cause of your struggling relationship is with your adult child. Go to bonnielyman.com (click here) to book a call.

Are there times you feel consumed by the thoughts ruminating in your head over how you're being treated by your adult children?  And then these thoughts start impacting other relationships that are important to you.  You feel miserable because you can't stop the thoughts and you feel like you could explode with resentment and disappointment.  Listen to this episode to learn how to stop these negative thought cycles.Have you received my new resource "3 Steps To Be Yourself Around Your Adult Children?" Click HERE to receive it. You'll be amazed what life offers you when you take back the power to be yourself around everyone.Have you ever considered 1:1 coaching? To get started, book a complimentary call with me to find out what the cause of your struggling relationship is with your adult child. Go to bonnielyman.com (click here) to book a call.

Do you really want to show up at Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner when you know you're going to be emotionally abused?  The better question to ask is do you know you have a choice?  What is the reason you'd be going?  Do you like your reason?  I hope this episode will shed some light on the choices you have about being around anyone that is emotionally abusive to you.  Love always wins but that doesn't mean you wear a sign that says"kick me" or "punch me."  You are a child of God and you are important.Have you received my new resource "3 Steps To Be Yourself Around Your Adult Children?" Click HERE to receive it. You'll be amazed what life offers you when you take back the power to be yourself around everyone.Have you ever considered 1:1 coaching? To get started, book a complimentary call with me to find out what the cause of your struggling relationship is with your adult child. Go to bonnielyman.com (click here) to book a call.

We usually use the Model to get a result we want in our lives by focusing on the feeling we want to feel and change our thoughts to cause that feeling.  In this episode I'm giving attention to the action line of the model and how changing our behavior by show gestures of love can give us the result of feeling more love that results in living a peaceful, well lived life.  Love always wins....just every time.Have you received my new resource "3 Steps To Be Yourself Around Your Adult Children?" Click HERE to receive it. You'll be amazed what life offers you when you take back the power to be yourself around everyone.Have you ever considered 1:1 coaching? To get started, book a complimentary call with me to find out what the cause of your struggling relationship is with your adult child. Go to bonnielyman.com (click here) to book a call.

Our love may feel rejected by our adult children but that doesn't mean they don't love us.  It's our expectation of a certain way they should be responding to our love that they are not living up to that causes us to feel they are rejecting our love.  Whether it's not thanking us for a gift we gave them to not including us in their children's lives that may cause us to feel resentment and anger rather than love.  But isn't that us, loving them conditionally?  Listen to this episode to learn some ways to keep loving our children when we feel they are rejecting our love.Have you received my new resource "3 Steps To Be Yourself Around Your Adult Children?" Click HERE to receive it. You'll be amazed what life offers you when you take back the power to be yourself around everyone.Have you ever considered 1:1 coaching? To get started, book a complimentary call with me to find out what the cause of your struggling relationship is with your adult child. Go to bonnielyman.com (click here) to book a call.

I share some insights into what adult children commonly complain about their parents since they have become adults.  You'll find from listening to this episode, it's many of the same complaints parents have about their adult children.  I discuss 10 common complaints adult children have shared.  I am not inferring that a struggling relationship is caused by the parents, but maybe you will learn some things that you could do to strengthen any relationship.  Anything we can do to be part of the solution instead of the problem always helps us to feel love more often.  Practicing choosing love over judgement is the most influential choice we can make to unconditionally loving our children.  Unconditionally loving our children is the key to finding peace in our relationship with them.References:My Adult Child Won't Talk To Mehttps://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2019/06/my-adult-child-wont-talk-me/591274/# Five Complaints Parents and Children Have About Each Otherhttps://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/between-the-lines/202104/five-complaints-parents-and-grown-kids-have-about-each-other6 Sources of Tension Between Adult Children and Their Parents https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/tech-support/202207/6-sources-tension-between-adult-children-and-their-parents The Biggest Complaints Kids Have About Their Parents is....http://www.tfcknoxville.com/psychology-blog/the-biggest-complaint-from-kids-about-their-parents-is Have you received my new resource "3 Steps To Be Yourself Around Your Adult Children?" Click HERE to receive it. You'll be amazed what life offers you when you take back the power to be yourself around everyone.Have you ever considered 1:1 coaching? To get started, book a complimentary call with me to find out what the cause of your struggling relationship is with your adult child. Go to bonnielyman.com (click here) to book a call.

The cause of your painful relationship with an adult child may not be what you think it is?  When we find out what it is, it's mind blowing.  Because it's not their actions, but it's your thoughts about their actions that is causing you all your pain.  The good news is that we can't change their actions but we can change our thoughts.  It's learning that you are responsible for your feelings because you are the one thinking those thoughts.  Also, part of being an adult is knowing that you are responsible for fulfilling your own needs...not your children.  Tune in to find out some remedies for changing your thoughts that enables you to be the creator of the kind of life you want to live.Have you received my new resource "3 Steps To Be Yourself Around Your Adult Children?" Click HERE to receive it. You'll be amazed what life offers you when you take back the power to be yourself around everyone.Have you ever considered 1:1 coaching? To get started, book a call with me to find out how coaching can help you. I offer an 8 week coaching program where I help you practice seeing things from a perspective and thinking new thoughts that result in you living a more peaceful life with your adult children. Go to bonnielyman.com (click here) to book a call.

Many of my clients wonder if their children are disrespectful to them because they failed in their child raising techniques.  Unless a child was severely abused, how they were raised has nothing to do with how they treat their parents.  Most of the time disrespectful children don't see themselves as being disrespectful.  Whatever is happening, they see it from a different perspective.  It's their feelings that cause them to act a certain way; they feel a certain way because of the thoughts they are thinking.  If life is really hard for adult children, they are likely to have thoughts that cause them to have feelings that cause them to not show up as a respectful person.  It has nothing to do with you because you have no power to make a person feel a certain way.  Tune in to understand better why most of the time it's not a parent's fault if their child is disrespectful.Have you received my new resource "3 Steps To Be Yourself Around Your Adult Children?" Click HERE to receive it. You'll be amazed what life offers you when you take back the power to be yourself around everyone.Have you ever considered 1:1 coaching? To get started, book a call with me to find out how coaching can help you. I offer an 8 week coaching program where I help you practice seeing things from a perspective and thinking new thoughts that result in you living a more peaceful life with your adult children. Go to bonnielyman.com (click here) to book a call.

We can't control or change how we want people to act in a relationship.  Even with an out pouring of love, they still might not accept our love.  But we can control our behavior and the kind of person we want to show up as in any relationship.  Relationships with family members are always the most personal to us.  Listen to this episode to learn what you can control in your contribution to a loving, kind relationship.Have you received my new resource "3 Steps To Be Yourself Around Your Adult Children?" Click HERE to receive it. You'll be amazed what life offers you when you take back the power to be yourself around everyone.Have you ever considered 1:1 coaching? To get started, book a call with me to find out how coaching can help you. I offer an 8 week coaching program where I help you practice seeing things from a perspective and thinking new thoughts that result in you living a more peaceful life with your adult children. Go to bonnielyman.com (click here) to book a call.

Have you ever wondered why when you're hungry you are quicker to be offended by circumstances in your life?  Have you noticed that sometimes when you are disappointed you sometimes don't have the energy  to start a new task and the option to take a nap sounds pretty inviting.  Our physical well being and our emotional well being are interconnected.  One doesn't function at it's best if one of them is not healthy.  The best news ever is that understanding that nobody is their best self when they are hurting emotionally or physically.  This awareness can make a huge difference in understanding our adult children's and our own behavior.  By listening to this episode you can learn to be more compassionate and less judgmental, which benefits not only others but compassion feels so much better than judging others.Have you received my new resource "3 Steps To Be Yourself Around Your Adult Children?" Click HERE to receive it. You'll be amazed what life offers you when you take back the power to be yourself around everyone.Have you ever considered 1:1 coaching? To get started, book a call with me to find out how coaching can help you. I offer an 8 week coaching program where I help you practice seeing things from a perspective and thinking new thoughts that result in you living a more peaceful life with your adult children. Go to bonnielyman.com (click here) to book a call.

Do you love yourself?  Did you know you are thanking God for His greatest creations if you do?  Did you know that to unconditionally love yourself reduces stress?  Did you know it can help you make better decisions?  But the biggest benefit of all, it helps you love people that might be difficult to love.  Unconditionally loving yourself means to love all of yourself....your strengths and your weaknesses .  Listen to get some suggestions on how to love yourself unconditionally.Have you received my new resource "3 Steps To Be Yourself Around Your Adult Children?" Click HERE to receive it. You'll be amazed what life offers you when you take back the power to be yourself around everyone.Have you ever considered 1:1 coaching? To get started, book a call with me to find out how coaching can help you. I offer an 8 week coaching program where I help you practice seeing things from a perspective and thinking new thoughts that result in you living a more peaceful life with your adult children. Go to bonnielyman.com (click here) to book a call.

Sometimes our heartbrokenness isn't over our relationship with an adult child but over unharmonious relationships between our adult children.  It can have as much impact over us emotionally as a difficult relationship with a child.  In this episode I speak to what your role is in such a circumstance and offer eight suggestions of what you can do to find peace in your life.Have you received my new resource "3 Steps To Be Yourself Around Your Adult Children?" Click HERE to receive it. You'll be amazed what life offers you when you take back the power to be yourself around everyone.Have you ever considered 1:1 coaching? To get started, book a call with me to find out how coaching can help you. I offer an 8 week coaching program where I help you practice seeing things from a perspective and thinking new thoughts that result in you living a more peaceful life with your adult children. Go to bonnielyman.com (click here) to book a call.

What if you believe really hard that your relationship with your adult child could improve.  Believing is the first step.  When we really, really believe it can happen we change from having a despairing mindset to having a hopeful mindset.  When we feel hope rather than despair we are motivated and determined to find opportunities to make it happen.  Listen to this episode to hear 5 steps to having a better relationship with your adult children by first "believing fiercely".Have you received my new resource "3 Steps To Be Yourself Around Your Adult Children?" Click HERE to receive it. You'll be amazed what life offers you when you take back the power to be yourself around everyone.Have you ever considered 1:1 coaching? To get started, book a call with me to find out how coaching can help you. I offer an 8 week coaching program where I help you practice seeing things from a perspective and thinking new thoughts that result in you living a more peaceful life with your adult children. Go to bonnielyman.com (click here) to book a call.

Having a bank of empowering thoughts in our brain can't help us feel the feelings we want to feel more of the time.  I keep five or so of these thoughts, (which now have become default thoughts because I have practiced thinking them so often) in the front of my brain that allows me to not let the hard things in my life get me down.  I have a better understanding of why opposition is necessary.  But when Mr. Opposition or Mrs. Judgmental or Miss Negative shows up, I process the emotion for a minute or two and then one of my 5 power thoughts comes to mind and I find I'm able to deal with situation because I'm in a more peaceful mindset.  I hope this episode gives you some "food for thought".If you want  the transcript to this episode so that you have a list of these thoughts, click here.  It should be up by the end of the day 8-24.Have you received my new resource "3 Steps To Be Yourself Around Your Adult Children?" Click HERE to receive it. You'll be amazed what life offers you when you take back the power to be yourself around everyone.Have you ever considered 1:1 coaching? To get started, book a call with me to find out how coaching can help you. I offer an 8 week coaching program where I help you practice seeing things from a perspective and thinking new thoughts that result in you living a more peaceful life with your adult children. Go to bonnielyman.com (click here) to book a call.

Do you deal with disrespectful adult children?  After all we sacrificed for them!!!.  In this episode I offer some suggestions as to why they are disrespectful;  what are some boundaries we can set so we are not the perennial "punching bag"; and what actions we can take to influence them to change their behavior.  We can't control or change them but maybe making some changes in our behavior can influence them to stop criticizing you, or withdrawing from you.  We make changes in our behavior by choosing love over judgement.  We choose by by having loving or compassionate or respectful thoughts.Have you received my new resource "3 Steps To Be Yourself Around Your Adult Children?" Click HERE to receive it. You'll be amazed what life offers you when you take back the power to be yourself around everyone.Have you ever considered 1:1 coaching? To get started, book a call with me to find out how coaching can help you. I offer an 8 week coaching program where I help you practice seeing things from a perspective and thinking new thoughts that result in you living a more peaceful life with your adult children. Go to bonnielyman.com (click here) to book a call.

I get many of you asking what can I do to fill my time now that my children are raised that will be satisfying and fulfilling.  Have you thought of volunteering?  Some of you probably have but don't know where you to start.  Listen to this episode to find out the benefits emotionally to volunteering, how to assess where you should volunteer, and also some specific places that need volunteers.  One of the remedies I suggest to having a happy life when you are not spending as much time as you thought you would with your family is to "get a life".  That is, find some that excites your outside of your family.  Spending part of your time volunteering may be the perfect solution.Have you received my new resource "3 Steps To Be Yourself Around Your Adult Children?" Click HERE to receive it. You'll be amazed what life offers you when you take back the power to be yourself around everyone.Have you ever considered 1:1 coaching? To get started, book a call with me to find out how coaching can help you. I offer an 8 week coaching program where I help you practice seeing things from a perspective and thinking new thoughts that result in you living a more peaceful life with your adult children. Go to bonnielyman.com (click here) to book a call.

Thank you for submitting questions regarding your relationship navigation with your adult children.  Most relationships come down to what we focus on as to how we perceive whether it's accepting to us or not.  We have a choice.  To focus on the good in people or focus on what's not going right.  We have a choice to love another person or to judge them.  It's in our power to feel anyway we want about any relationship depending on what we choose to focus on and what we chose to think.  In this episode I address specific questions sent in by some of my listeners.  I feel most of our relationship problems can be fixed by answering the question, "What would love do?"Have you received my new resource "3 Steps To Be Yourself Around Your Adult Children?" Click HERE to receive it. You'll be amazed what life offers you when you take back the power to be yourself around everyone.Have you ever considered 1:1 coaching? To get started, book a call with me to find out how coaching can help you. I offer an 8 week coaching program where I help you practice seeing things from a perspective and thinking new thoughts that result in you living a more peaceful life with your adult children. Go to bonnielyman.com (click here) to book a call.

Has the disappointment and sadness over your relationship with an adult child been with you too long? Are you tired of missing out on a life you thought you were going to have?  Making an effort to find those that need you might just be the perfect remedy;  those that are suffering that need your love and help.  We can't control our adult children.  We can't help them if they don't want our help but there are people out there that would love to be involved in your life and you in there's.  Focusing on serving others can bring happiness and fulfillment to your life once again.Instead of using your energy despairing, use it to love and serve others.  I refer to an article by Joseph Grenny for insight of how to win this "battle".  "Are We Losing?: A Gospel Perspective on Imperfect Families" by Jospeh Grenny.Have you received my new resource "3 Steps To Be Yourself Around Your Adult Children?" Click HERE to receive it. You'll be amazed what life offers you when you take back the power to be yourself around everyone.Have you ever considered 1:1 coaching? To get started, book a call with me to find out how coaching can help you. I offer an 8 week coaching program where I help you practice seeing things from a perspective and thinking new thoughts that result in you living a more peaceful life with your adult children. Go to bonnielyman.com (click here) to book a call.

Do you find yourself judging others and find fault in others as your default thinking?It's your brains fault but you can change it; you can be uncharge of your brain instead of it reverting to its 3 motivational desires (which I explain in this episode).  It takes some intentionality to be the boss.  Listen to the 5 steps I give you to be able to default to noticing what is going right in your life rather than focusing what's gone wrong.Have you received my new resource "3 Steps To Be Yourself Around Your Adult Children?" Click HERE to receive it. You'll be amazed what life offers you when you take back the power to be yourself around everyone.Have you ever considered 1:1 coaching? To get started, book a call with me to find out how coaching can help you. I offer an 8 week coaching program where I help you practice seeing things from a perspective and thinking new thoughts that result in you living a more peaceful life with your adult children. Go to bonnielyman.com (click here) to book a call.

One of the most difficult times a parent can go through is when they are told by their adult child they want no contact with them.  The question is "now what"?  If you fixate on this happening it could keep you stuck in despair the rest of your life.  There is a way to move on.  Of course you're going to feel hurt and disappointed.  In this episode I tell you of three stages to go through to lessen the hurt.  "Now what"  is a choice you will have to make to find happiness and fulfillment in your life again.  Choosing to still love your children is another choice.  We can fixate on loving them or judging them.  This episode might possibly help you make that decision.Have you received my new resource "3 Steps To Be Yourself Around Your Adult Children?" Click HERE to receive it. You'll be amazed what life offers you when you take back the power to be yourself around everyone.Have you ever considered 1:1 coaching? To get started, book a call with me to find out how coaching can help you. I offer an 8 week coaching program where I help you practice seeing things from a perspective and thinking new thoughts that result in you living a more peaceful life with your adult children. Go to bonnielyman.com (click here) to book a call.

Have you ever questioned your likability?  Is that something that is controllable?We were all born likable.  We may have stronger likes for some than for others but that is because we all have preferences of what we like and don't like.Some people like peaches and some don't.  It doesn't matter if you're the juiciest peach on the tree, you can't make people like you if they don't like peaches.  We all have preferences about who we like to be around.  And that's what makes our world be made of humans and not robots.  Listen to find out why there is no moral code that you're suppose to like hanging out with family.Have you received my new resource "3 Steps To Be Yourself Around Your Adult Children?" Click HERE to receive it. You'll be amazed what life offers you when you take back the power to be yourself around everyone.Have you ever considered 1:1 coaching? To get started, book a call with me to find out how coaching can help you. I offer an 8 week coaching program where I help you practice seeing things from a perspective and thinking new thoughts that result in you living a more peaceful life with your adult children. Go to bonnielyman.com (click here) to book a call.

Our adult children see what a good relationship with their adult parents looks like from a different perspective than we do.  Because of the internet and social media, needs that were once being met by parents are now being met by Google and Facebook.  Thus, where parents may see their relationship with their now adult children as distant, they may see it as perfect.  Adult children are not intentionally ignoring their parents, they are taking responsibility for fulfilling their own needs, which are far different than their parents' needs, thus, parents tend to feel that are not a priority in their children's life.  Listen to this episode to find out why this may not be a bad perspective.  Are parents neglecting their responsibility to take care of their own needs rather than advocating it to their adult children?Have you received my new resource "3 Steps To Be Yourself Around Your Adult Children?" Click HERE to receive it. You'll be amazed what life offers you when you take back the power to be yourself around everyone.Have you ever considered 1:1 coaching? To get started, book a call with me to find out how coaching can help you. I offer an 8 week coaching program where I help you practice seeing things from a perspective and thinking new thoughts that result in you living a more peaceful life with your adult children. Go to bonnielyman.com (click here) to book a call.

Wanting your relationship to be different than what it is with your adult children may be the very thing that is keeping you from living the life you want to live.  What we want in a relationship with our children maybe different than what they want and sometimes this is why we see the relationship as not a close one.  But what if nothing has gone wrong?  What if this is what kind of relationship they want?  It doesn't mean they don't love you.  This episode is about  using our pain of being misunderstood to understand  the needs of our adult children.Have you received my new resource "3 Steps To Be Yourself Around Your Adult Children?" Click HERE to receive it. You'll be amazed what life offers you when you take back the power to be yourself around everyone.Have you ever considered 1:1 coaching? To get started, book a call with me to find out how coaching can help you. I offer an 8 week coaching program where I help you practice seeing things from a perspective and thinking new thoughts that result in you living a more peaceful life with your adult children. Go to bonnielyman.com (click here) to book a call.

Do you notice the less you know about your adult children's lives the fewer opinions you have as to the right or wrongness of their behavior?  Why do we care what they are thinking?  We can't change it.  We are driven to know why they aren't coming to our house for dinner, again!  We may not like the answer; we might not get the real reason.  Your business is to become a better version of you, take care of your own needs , and love your children by respecting their agency.  Listen to find out how staying out of your children's business makes life a whole lot easier.Have you received my new resource "3 Steps To Be Yourself Around Your Adult Children?" Click HERE to receive it. You'll be amazed what life offers you when you take back the power to be yourself around everyone.I offer complimentary Relationship Strategy Calls to those of you who need more help in overcoming the struggles you are having in connecting with your adult children. Go to bonnielyman.com (click here) to book a call.

What if I told you that your attitude, not external factors, is the key to unlocking happiness and improving your quality of life?  Your attitude come from your thoughts not your circumstances. Listen to find strategies for becoming more conscious of our thoughts, practicing optimism, and developing acceptance with challenging circumstances.  Your attitude is your choice; that means you can view life any way you wantHave you received my new resource "3 Steps To Be Yourself Around Your Adult Children?" Click HERE to receive it. You'll be amazed what life offers you when you take back the power to be yourself around everyone.I offer complimentary Relationship Strategy Calls to those of you who need more help in overcoming the struggles you are having in connecting with your adult children. Go to bonnielyman.com (click here) to book a call.

There are three things we all want:   autonomy, respect by others of our agency, and not be told what to do.  We all want to to be self governing of our lives.  When we feel threatened that someone is taking our power away, we rebel and run away from this person.  Even meaning-well parents, trying to make suggestions to their adult children often backfires by weakening or even losing the relationship with them. It's easy for adult children to feel that these suggestions imply they are not capable of making good decisions or that they are still being treated like a child.  The easiest way to reclaim their power is to avoid having conversations with or being around their parents.  Listen to find out what the antidote is.Have you received my new resource "3 Steps To Be Yourself Around Your Adult Children?" Click HERE to receive it. You'll be amazed what life offers you when you take back the power to be yourself around everyone.I offer complimentary Relationship Strategy Calls to those of you who need more help in overcoming the struggles you are having in connecting with your adult children. Go to bonnielyman.com (click here) to book a call.

Circumstances are everything that happens outside of us in our lives; world events, the weather, our past, what someone says or doesn't say to us.  Circumstances are the facts of what's going on around us.  They are the boring descriptions of our life.  Circumstances are neutral.  We were raised thinking it was the circumstances of our lives that caused us to feel a certain way.  It was never taught to us that our feelings are caused by our thoughts about what we are making these circumstances mean.  When it's raining and we feel disappointed, it's not the rain that makes us feel disappointed  but our thoughts (ie. We can't have our wedding reception outside because it's raining) about the rain that causes us to feel disappointed.  Our thoughts cause us to feel a certain way, not what's happening in our lives.  We can't control the happenings in our lives but we can control how we think about the circumstances.  Therefore,  if we can control our thoughts that means we have control over how we want to feel in any situation.Have you received my new resource "3 Steps To Be Yourself Around Your Adult Children?" Click HERE to receive it. You'll be amazed what life offers you when you take back the power to be yourself around everyone.I offer complimentary Relationship Strategy Calls to those of you who need more help in overcoming the struggles you are having in connecting with your adult children. Go to bonnielyman.com (click here) to book a call.

Part of being human is being willing to feel all of our emotions; being an emotional adult is being willing to feel" the good, the bad, and the ugly" parts of our lives.  The Model is the most amazing tool.  By using it, you can feel any feeling you want to feel just by intentionally choosing to think thoughts that cause you to feel the feeling you want to feel.   But it can be misused.  First we have to feel the negative feeling.   Allow it to sit with us for a bit instead of resisting feeling it by drinking alcohol or going for a run.  If will do this, then the intensity of the negative emotion decreases.  I share with you my week this week of choosing to feel "the bad and the ugly" and  why it's not helpful to think a new thought before you give the negative feeling some attention.  I had trained my brain so well to default to thinking empowering thoughts so quickly that when a new crisis came into my life this week, I was consumed with negative emotions and my empowering thoughts had lost their power.  I had no choice but to hang out with all the negative feelings for several days.Have you received my new resource "3 Steps To Be Yourself Around Your Adult Children?" Click HERE to receive it. You'll be amazed what life offers you when you take back the power to be yourself around everyone.I offer complimentary Relationship Strategy Calls to those of you who need more help in overcoming the struggles you are having in connecting with your adult children. Go to bonnielyman.com (click here) to book a call.

Tune in this week to discover why inspirational music can help you stop feeling so much despair, especially that feeling of dread so many feel over Mother's Day, or any other circumstances that triggers those negative emotions that come from a mismanaged mind.   Kristine shares why uplifting music is the perfect tool for new thoughts to enter your mind, almost instantly,  that causes you to feel peace and calm and hope rather than despair.  It's taking responsibility to take action, by listening to inspiring music, that often for many touches their soul so intensely, that the new thoughts instantly cause you you feel a different feeling.  I challenge you to listen to learn more about this tool.How to connect with Kristine Coxkristinecox.combit.ly/KristineCoxYouTubebit.ly/PerfectForMeKristineCoxhttps://bit.ly/KristineCoxSpotifyhttps://bit.ly/KristineCoxAppleMusichttps://kristinecox.com/pages/kristine-cox-streamingwww.facebook.com/KristineCoxMusicKristinesKeynotes.comKris@KristineCox.comHave you received my new resource "3 Steps To Be Yourself Around Your Adult Children?" Click HERE to receive it. You'll be amazed what life offers you when you take back the power to be yourself around everyone.I offer complimentary Relationship Strategy Calls to those of you who need more help in overcoming the struggles you are having in connecting with your adult children. Go to bonnielyman.com (click here) to book a call.

What kind of person do you want to be? The first kind of person doesn't realize that their feelings are created by themselves and so they blame something outside of themselves for their negative emotions.  They become victims to their circumstances,  The second kind of person isn't a victim to their circumstances, but they change their circumstances , thinking they will feel better. The third kind of person takes responsibility of how they feel when life is not going as they would like by watching his mind and intentionally paying attention to and managing his thoughts which changes how he thinks, feels, and acts. He evolves into a person who is in charge of living a life he wants to live.  Listen to learn how to become the person you want to be.Have you received my new resource "3 Steps To Be Yourself Around Your Adult Children?" Click HERE to receive it. You'll be amazed what life offers you when you take back the power to be yourself around everyone.I offer complimentary Relationship Strategy Calls to those of you who need more help in overcoming the struggles you are having in connecting with your adult children. Go to bonnielyman.com (click here) to book a call.