Old Fogies & Films

SEASON FINALE: Like syphilis, Florence's joie de vivre is contagious. The Fogies were dazzled, charmed, and swept away in a crescendo of cringe. Florence Foster Jenkins - dir. Stephen Frears - 2016

Tar is a quagmire. And the titular TÁR's life has become one. The truth will out: “Time is the thing” as Lydia Tár herself says. Ironically, *runtime* is what most Fogies took issue with. TÁR - dir. Todd Field - 2022

They gave each other just enough to hang themselves with. The Fogies watched Rope! Inviting a third into the relationship is often more than a couple can survive, especially if they murder him together. Rope - dir. Alfred Hitchcock - 1948

People usually put on a pervy mustache to go incognito, but this guy shaved his off! That's right, it's Donnie Brasco, the cutest member of the boy band known as The Mob. He sang like a canary though, or rather a stool pigeon, and that's all he wrote. (Based on a book.) Donnie Brasco - dir. Mike Newell - 1997

Bad taste can be hard to swallow, if you still have a gag reflex like most of the Fogies. We were hoisted with our own petard watching Tromeo & Juliet! The Fogies subjected themselves to many beasts with two backs, and a couple children with three faces. To thou and thine who perpend this ravin endeavor, we wish you luck. Tromeo & Juliet - dir. Lloyd Kaufman - 1997

The Fogies watched Mike Flanagan's Hush! Let's be fair, if you move to an isolated house in the woods alone, you're asking for it, right?? Sorry, we don't mean to blame the victim. NB: The irony is not lost on us that this is a podcast episode for a movie with a deaf main character. Hush - dir. Mike Flanagan - 2016

Billy, don't be a hero. Nah, forget it, Billy is the GOAT. Disaster may have been averted in the movie, but the Fogies had a BLAST with this one! If you're a terrorist, these students are gonna school ya. Toy Soldiers - dir. Daniel Petrie Jr. - 1991

We do a deep dive into our ratings history courtesy of Tableau data vizzes! The Hateful Rate, Rate Crazy Nights, Rate Legged Freaks, Butterfield Rate, Rate-a-touille, Rate and Leopold, Rate Night, The Wedding Rate, Enemy of the Rate, The Rate-est Showman, Rate Balls of Fire, The Rate Stuff… that's right, we didn't cover ANY of these terrible puns!https://public.tableau.com/app/profile/fahad.qureshi/viz/OldFogiesFilmsRatings/Dashboard1

When GoodFellas was first released on DVD in March 1997, it was a single disc that you had to flip over for viewing the second half. Please feel free to flip yourselves in the middle of this extra long episode, to avoid bed sores. A saga for a saga. GoodFellas - dir. Martin Scorsese - 1990

The Fogies are abuzz with the feels over Tell It to the Bees, though the Vada Sultenfusses deep inside us all watched in fear. We tried telling it to the bees, but they weren't listening, so the Fogies told it to each other. Tell It to the Bees - dir. Annabel Jankel - 2018

One might say we can't see past the ends of our noses, but we'd really be fibbing if we said we didn't like this movie! The Fogies each found a home inside the hollow chest of one wooden boy. Join us before the bombs drop!Pinocchio - dir. Guillermo del Toro - 2022

‘Appy ‘Olidays from Mrs. ‘Arris! Tailor-made for some Fogies, a bit ill-fitting for others, however we all welcomed the joy this movie sparked in our winter collection. Mrs. ‘Arris is a-Dior-able!

The Old Fogies aren't sure who to blame, but it's definitely not OUR fault! Someone definitely should've had a conversation about Kevin before 2011, and the Fogies hope we're still talking about him today. Not to get too chicken-or-the-egg, but was Ezra Miller cast as Kevin, or was Kevin cast as Ezra Miller?

The Old Fogies squirm in their theater seats watching a group of desperate actors get twisted up in knots at the mere thought of recognition for a movie called "Home for Thanksgiving." Collagen, compromise, and cringe, oh my. For Your Consideration - dir. Christopher Guest - 2006

The Old Fogies watched Emilia Clarke get swept off her feet by a man whose feet never touch the ground. But then the other kitschy shoe drops, and she receives a devastating performance review. Me Before You - dir. Thea Sharrock - 2016

In this one, gay men try to steal dolphin symbolism right out from under lesbians' (bottle?) noses. How very dare they. It's soapy, but there's plenty of water imagery to wash it down with. The Fruit Machine - dir. Phillip Saville - 1988

SEASON FINALE! What's The Truth About You? And are you brave enough to confront it? With the sudden and terrifying rise in anti-LGBTQA+ hate crimes around the world, the Fogies close out Pride month with The Truth About Jane—a rather tame, but certainly personal and emotional story about a gay youth experiencing hate and rejection but learning to love herself despite these forces against her. Sometimes the evil in a princess's life is not a wicked STEP-mother, but her own villainous flesh and blood.

Ruth invites you to our final movie of the season! Coming Wednesday, June 29!

Michelle Pfeiffer, white oleanders, milk. Pretty and poisonous. Hey, if you're lactose intolerant, milk is a real bitch. But Ms. Pfeiffer only plays poisonous in 2002's White Oleander, and, just like her young on-screen daughter, the Fogies are in her thrall. We all endeavor to differentiate ourselves from our parents in our teen years, though usually the legal system isn't literally putting bars between us to force that separation.

Tikia invites you to our latest movie, coming Wednesday, June 15!

You can never go home again, as they say, especially once you've been put IN a home. To launch Pride 2022, the Fogies watched Todd Stephens's Swan Song, and though our hero still has a TWINK-le in his eye, the world he knew has faded from memory. As we celebrate our freedom and how far we've come, let's BEAR in mind the insidious elements in our society, who still plot daily to take it all away, by honoring the men and women who lived out loud when it was even more dangerous to do so. Mr. Pat “don't miss shit” now.

Here comes Pride! Aric invites you to our latest movie, coming Wednesday, June 1!

The Fogies were so hypnotized by Harvey Keitel's hair in Taxi Driver, that we were compelled to assassinate… filmic good taste! Just kidding - we managed not to embarrass ourselves too badly as reviewers, nor be radicalized into hate-filled, incel vigilantes. But damn, he do have that Pantene shine.

Robert NeDiro* invites you to our latest movie, assigned by his mother, coming Wednesday, May 18! *Not his real name.

They say this cat Diane Wiest is a bad mother– (Shut your mouth!) But we're talkin' 'bout Diane Wiest! (Then we can dig it.) The Fogies watched a reprehensible Rosamund Pike fight a comically ineffective Peter Dinklage over the liberty of one elderly mother, a badass that the script wastes with no agency for recourse on her own. Prepare yourself for: I Care A Lot. Some of us enjoyed this…thriller?...some of us DID NOT. Happy Mother's Day!

Fahad invites you to our latest movie, assigned by his little ole self, coming Wednesday, May 4!

Welcome to Spice World! No, not Dune, but Earth during the late 90s. The Fogies were inspired to reminisce even longer than the film's 93 minutes, delighted by the girls taking the piss and hamming it up; it's quite the wild ride, innit? Mad rhymes. We are the greatest generation, because at 16 the Spice Girls taught us all of life's great lessons: always reach for your dreams, never take yourself too seriously, and nothing is more important than friendship.

Listen to us charmingly invite you to our special 25th movie celebration! Episode arrives Wednesday, April 20!

Laddies and Gentlewomen, brace yourself for the origin story of Rain Man, a superhero with incredible powers of memory and calculation who saves Tom Cruise from himself. Or at least that's what one of our lil' Fogies thought the film was about as a child. We've revisited this as adults after decades of cultural evolution regarding the subject matter, and it's surprisingly sensitive! Tom would be outed publicly as a Scientologist 2 years later, so no one got saved anyway.

Surprise! Bonus Episode! Special Guest Fogey Stewart assigns us Chinatown, but Jake Gittes isn't the only one who doesn't know what's going on…one of our Fogies is a Fool and has secretly not watched the film. They must convince us that they have while we tell tall tales to trip them up. Happy April Fool's Day!

Tikia invites you to our next episode featuring her latest movie on the marquee, coming April 6!

The Fogies survived Vox Lux! They really missed an opportunity here to cover the Bee Gees' “Tragedy” in the style of STEPS. Pop music can be an escape from the horrors of life – unless, of course, you're the one making it, and then it's a prison of your own design. At least that seems to be the message from Natalie Portman's incredible performance as the…protagonist? Still want to be famous though.

Aric invites you, in his own “special" way, to our next episode featuring his latest movie on the marquee, coming March 23!

Order up an oats soda and paint your toenails green, Seamus, the Fogies are celebrating St. Patrick's Day with…The Big Lebowski! Like a Coen Brothers' movie: don't question it. It works. Just go with it. Look, the Fogies aren't responsible for the 90s, we just came of age during them. Get off our backs, man. Take a cue from The Dude in this modern cult classic, and roll with the (literal) punches.

Shelly invites you to our next episode featuring her latest movie on the marquee, coming March 9!

If you spent this past Presidents' Day lamenting that the world has gone to hell in a handbasket and foolishly yearning for the innocent, halcyon days of yesteryear, witness an 80-year-old story about a corrupt, capitalistic mogul with a penchant for Fake News who collects statues like Twitter followers, produced by a media-savvy, entitled 25-year-old. We're talking about 1941's Citizen Kane! The more things change, the more they stay the same! All that was missing was a diss track from Susan Alexander Kane.

Fahad invites you to our next episode featuring one of his picks, coming February 23!

This Valentine's Day, bask in the bromantic lovelight of two men riding the rails together, explaining their relationship to exes, struggling in handcuffs and roleplaying for money. That's right, the Fogies celebrated by watching Midnight Run! Was 1988 a slow year at the Golden Globes? We get a little sidetracked by My So-Called Life—we had a good reason, promise.

Ruth invites you to our next episode featuring one of her picks, coming February 9!

Mix 1 cup of privilege, ½ cup youthful naïveté, a dash of exploitation gore, the zest of one Spy Kid's dick, and a sprig of ethnocentricity, and you have quite the rub. The Fogies do a little roasting, but consider the value of the presentation too, in this episode on Eli Roth's The Green Inferno. The culture shock is certainly, er, shocking.

Tikia invites you to our next episode featuring one of her picks, coming January 26!

Be honest, when Martin Luther King Jr. Day rolls around, do you usually spend the long holiday weekend observing the struggle and sacrifices of the, ONGOING, civil rights movement? A-ha! Caught you! Well, lucky for you, the Fogies have had some food for thought and we packed up the leftovers for you in our episode on Spike Lee's Do The Right Thing. This is one pie with a lot of toppings. Grab a slice!

Martin Luther King Jr. Day is almost here! Aric invites you to our next episode featuring his pick in anticipation of a long weekend we're sure you'll spend considering your civil liberties, coming January 12!

Remember snowstorms? Neither do we. Good luck describing those, or the meaning of this movie, to your kids, but we hope the Old Fogies' discussion of Stanley Kubrick's The Shining gives you plenty of talking points! In many cultures, winter signifies the end, the death of the world, or at least the end of a cycle of life, before rebirth. On many calendars, December is also the end, so we'll see you in the hopefully brighter, definitely warmer future in 2022!

Get ready for the New Year! Shelly and guests invite you to our next episode covering her pick to bring another difficult year to a close, coming December 29!

Merry Christmas to some and Happy Holidays to all! The Old Fogies & Films panel are celebrating the season by watching Die Hard, and assessing its level of holiday spirit. Everyone always focuses on the murders and hostage-taking, instead of the beautiful fact that German, American, French, Italian, and Chinese people formed an international alliance to liberate millions of dollars from an all-powerful corporation. What an inspiring message about coming together during the holidays!!

Ho Ho Ho! Fahad invites you to our next episode covering his pick for a Christmas classic, coming December 22!

In the United Kingdom, a book club is called a literary society - cuz they classy. In this episode, the Old Fogies find they can relate to a group of people using culture and camaraderie to survive a painful social upheaval (read: the current pandemic) in The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society. We've never seen so many book-burners attend a book club. Two. A total of two attend.

Ruth invites you to our next episode covering one of her picks, coming December 15!

Two lies that some people believed in 1993: one, that gay conversion therapy works; and two, that an approximation of a bird's nest was a good hairstyle. Listen to the Fogies discuss The Miseducation of Cameron Post in this episode. In the House of Columbia there are ten thousand pennies ($50 bucks to the first person who gets that reference.)

Tikia invites you to our next episode covering one of her picks, coming December 8!