The Tom Barnard Show

Jack and Tom both spent years in Minnesota radio. They drifted apart over the years, and now they're back in the same room once more. The result? Decades of stories.

It's back to the 70s day: WKRP is in the news and videoconferencing is impossible. We do mention a Jumbotron, which didn't exist until the 80s, so that's a bit of an anachronism.

Kristyn's got her eyes on a budget-friendly $6000 projector, and the family's getting served sushi by robots. Will the luxuries never cease? Yes, actually: after we went to a Twins game, we have no money. Spent it all on bottled water and parking.

We had Maggie Faris and Randall Reid on the show, and they both made it to the finals of the Funniest Headliner competition at Gambit Brewing. That can't be a coincidence. Today we've got Juice, another finalist out of six. Since he was the most recent one to be on our show, that means he's going to win, right?

Are we alone in the universe? I hope so. Earth is loud enough as is. Can you imagine two of them? Unfortunately, the math doesn't check out. Or, depending on who you ask, the bible. And when you get math and the bible joining forces against you, you might as well just give up.

There's a house for sale on Lake Minnetonka. It's got 18 bathrooms, a bowling alley, two guest/guard houses, and those are the least insane aspects. We're thinking of starting a GoFundMe and making it the new podcast HQ.

It's the world cup. It's like the playoffs of soccer. Or something. I'm gonna be honest, none of us know what we're talking about. That's not gonna stop us from talking about it.

Tom and Kathryn drove from Florida to Minnesota last week. It was mostly uneventful, which is exactly how you prefer your drives. Mostly. Also, did you know that sugar alcohol has an unpleasant side effect? Because we do.

Since 1988, Uncle John - the legend, not the one on our show today - has been providing trivia for you to learn while in the bathroom. Why in the bathroom? Because what else are you going to do? Doomscroll? I wouldn't recommend it.

Do you golf? If so, is your putting maybe not so good? Of course it is. Putting is hard. But it could be easier, if only you read Putting by the Numbers at https://boblabbe.com/. Divot sand not included.

Calvin is the author of the Northfield Saga and an appreciator of Minnesota in the warm months. The vast majority of people dream of writing a book one day, and the vast majority of Minnesotans feel like winter is too long. Coincidence?

You use your card for everything. Tipping at those obnoxious point of sale machines they have everywhere now. Malls that may or may not be fronts for money laundering. Even for divvying out racial slurs. Maybe that last one doesn't apply to you, but it certainly applies to someone.

What's at the top of your Facebook algorithm? Entertainment news, perhaps? If so, maybe it's because the algorithm knows you like this part of our show. If not, maybe it's because celebrities won't stop dying and that's sad.

Did you know that Alex used to work at NABC? Andy also worked at a bank for a period. Only one of them ever owned a gecko, though.

Masters of the Universe isn't doing so great. Is it because it came out too late? 80s nostalgia seems to be on the way out, so maybe they missed the boat. Or maybe they didn't spend enough money, because the two options for success seem to be "ultra low budget" or "hundreds and hundreds of millions".

What's a Squishy? It's a thing you squish. It's also the new craze that every kid demands. We don't understand it. We also don't understand why Pink is hosting the Tonys. Or why people are allowed to cheat alphabetical order. There's a lot we don't get.

Matt is a horse vet. We grew up around horses. It's the perfect match. Matt is also a comedian. We think we're funny, even when we're not. Need I say more? Yes: go to https://mattevanscomic.com/ for more of his comic stylings, and also his book.

Remember your childhood snacks? Remember your childhood TV shows? Of course you do. And so do we. We also remember every lyric to every theme song.

Sadly, Peabo Bryson succumbed to his stroke. Also sadly, it's really hot outside. Maybe those two aren't directly comparable. Nor are Toy Story and Taylor Swift, even though they share initials and apparently one is making a song for the other. Can you guess which is which?

You can't escape Jesse the Shrink, even when he's not actually here. He's put together a contest called Funniest Headliner, and Randall and Maggie are both in it. It's at Gambit Brewing tomorrow, the 9th, and the 16th at 7 PM. The first two shows are free!

On this segment, we watch a political ad. No, we're not getting that sweet campaign fund money quite yet. We were just told it was funny. And it was. Sad, but funny.

Hollywood might be on the downswing. But that doesn't mean movies are making no money - far from it. It's just that half the ones making money are low budget indie horror movies. Is that a good thing? It is if you're sick of endless sequels and derivative works. Not so much if big budget spectacles are more your speed.

You can't escape Jesse the Shrink, even when he's not actually here. He's put together a contest called Funniest Headliner, and Randall and Maggie are both in it. It's at Gambit Brewing tomorrow, the 9th, and the 16th at 7 PM. The first two shows are free!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this segment, we watch a political ad. No, we're not getting that sweet campaign fund money quite yet. We were just told it was funny. And it was. Sad, but funny.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hollywood might be on the downswing. But that doesn't mean movies are making no money - far from it. It's just that half the ones making money are low budget indie horror movies. Is that a good thing? It is if you're sick of endless sequels and derivative works. Not so much if big budget spectacles are more your speed.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The 2025-2026 TV season is over, and the numbers are in. Broadcast TV is in the tens of millions again. Netflix is still higher, but still. We thought TV would be dead at this point.Topics:TV season wrap-upThe Simpsons are still goingOld TVsDressing up on planesDefunct stores and mallsThe BackroomsIndie horrorThe CrashTim's Mother-in-lawSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Childhood obesity is a major issue. Diet is the biggest factor there, easily. But is fitness lagging as well? Vinnie thinks that kids these days aren't being made to exercise in school like they used to. Mike disagrees. The rest of us are still thinking about that matzo ball soup. In moderation, of course.Topics:Comics Unleashed isn't doing so wellPeople aren't watching late night TVThe decline of the deliGene Simmons breaks Lassman's deskVinnie Tortorich's business woesFitness in schoolSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

As it turns out, maybe not Spencer Pratt for mayor. He's all talk and no actionable ideas. Wait, isn't that almost every politician?Topics:Tom Hardy allegedly ousted from MobLandEggsBananasSpencer PrattMinneapolis police chief resignsKids need disciplineSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Remember The Hill? Remember that guy from The Hill? Apparently he's running for mayor of LA now. Go figure. Topics:Fawn turns 10Mandalorian and Grogu at #1This Is ItFull SwingSpencer PrattChanges to the showSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

A long time ago, a movie came out called The Blair Witch Project. That's not totally relevant, except for the fact that it made hundreds of millions off a small budget. There's a new movie out called Obsession and it's shaping up to be the latest low budget horror movie to make bank. I guess after years of movies with budgets to rival the GDP of a large city, audiences are looking for something different.Topics:Kyle Busch dies during a training exerciseColbert has his final showMakeup/wardrobe inconsistencies in moviesHockey fightsGilbert GottfriendMandalorian and GroguObsession

A long time ago, a movie came out called The Blair Witch Project. That's not totally relevant, except for the fact that it made hundreds of millions off a small budget. There's a new movie out called Obsession and it's shaping up to be the latest low budget horror movie to make bank. I guess after years of movies with budgets to rival the GDP of a large city, audiences are looking for something different.Topics:Kyle Busch dies during a training exerciseColbert has his final showMakeup/wardrobe inconsistencies in moviesHockey fightsGilbert GottfriendMandalorian and GroguObsessionSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Remember Ed Sullivan? Statistically, you probably don't. The man has been dead for 50 years. But you've heard of him. That used to be the power of talk shows. If we're still talking about any of the current hosts fifty years from now, I'll be shocked. You know what we'll definitely be talking about? Hangnails. They're the human condition.Topics:Ed SullivanLocal media is dyingJesse and JohnnyTormented geniusAimee Bock sentencedBemidjiCuticle clippersSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The Moderate Majority party is back and they need signatures. If you're interested, they'll tell you what they're about and what the signatures are for. If you're not, you can still hear us talk about celebrities overdosing, or people getting CTE. There's something for everyone.Topics:Mark Fuhrman diesCTE"Michael" on track to make a billion dollarsCelebrities dying youngStreet drugs are badModerate Majority partyMinnesota's poor governanceKids being taught to be victimsSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Prebiotic soda. It's all the rage. Even Pepsi has one. And as gross as it sounds, apparently it's pretty good. So from our perspective, there are two primary ways to make a lot of money: sell prebiotic soda, or join congress. How hard could it be?Topics:True Don BleuForgetting interviewsJames Bond coming backCelebrities being approached on the streetPelosi trackerPresidential net worthsEthan got sick againCoyotesPrebiotic sodaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The beginning of the show is a bit of a mess. That's what happens when the producer is stuck in traffic for an hour and a half. There's a silver lining, though. They say that no matter how long you live, you always want more time. But if you sit in stop and go traffic, time will stretch out for eons. Maybe the secret to eternal life is just making it feel like an eternity.Topics:Traffic on highway 12Devil Wears Prada 2 blew out Mortal Kombat 2In The GreyTim saw Marty, Life is ShortLoss of loved onesTim's dreamSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

All good things must come to an end, and Journey has been going since the 70s. That's not to say Jonathan is done working: he's got a solo career as a Christian artist and, apparently, plans on becoming a minister. He's also concerned about the future of war robots, so he may have a career as a John Connor type as well. Who knows what the future might hold?Topics:Appointment TV is coming backMeat vs leatherDrone taxisArmy recruitmentJonathan Cain from JourneyAI likenesses and artWar robotsMusic licensingBankruptcy courtSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Conan O'Brien is back to host the Oscars in 2027, which reminds us: talk shows kind of suck. Petco's customer service could also use a bit of tweaking. But you know what doesn't suck? Podcasting. We do it. Jake Hudson does it. Who's Jake Hudson, you ask? You'll find out today.Topics:Conan O'Brien Oscars 2027Talk shows are not for usMartin Short's new documentary, "Marty, Life is Short"Kathryn vs. PetcoAnimals getting drunk off fermented fruitJake Hudson talks to a radio legendDave Ryan retiringSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Anyone who's ever been anything approaching famous will tell you - sometimes fame isn't great. People will approach you during dinner, chase you down into an elevator, and other fun ways to interrupt your day. You also, inevitably, end up getting a cult of lunatics who want you dead. Why? It's the human condition, I guess.Topics:The Mystery of Richard SimmonsDeranged fansKids these days with their phones and their bad grammarMinnesota sportsThe history of the LakersAll this hatred of one anotherPresidents suckSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Kevin Hart got roasted. Apparently it was pretty cutthroat. That's not our thing, but roasts have been around for long enough that clearly they have an audience. Let's ask Randy Lubas, hosting Loons on the Lake at Crooners for the fourth year. He's a comedian, therefore he is a comedy expert. By the way, he's giving away tickets. Listen to the show to find out how to get 'em.Topics:Kevin Hart roastPerson sucked into jet engineCBS News Radio shutting downThe AI BubbleLoons on the LakeComedy as a platform for politicsMother's daySee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

There's a hot new sport sweeping the nation, and once again it's named after a food. It's banana ball, and it's basically baseball but weird. Kind of like how pickleball is tennis but weird. You know what's not weird? Sequels to ancient franchises. Devil Wears Prada 2 and Mortal Kombat 2 are making waves at the box office. There's never been a better time to be over the age of 30. In some cases, well over.Topics:Tom's teethBanana ballHarlem GlobetrottersDisney Cruise CSAM stingDevil Wears Prada 2Mortal Kombat 2Should I Marry a MurdererParenthood insanity storySee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Rats. They've got a terrible reputation. Maybe they deserve it. Between eating your pizza and giving you Hantavirus, they're real troublemakers. And speaking of troublemakers, Myq and Tiffany are both doing shows, but they're not at the same time so there's no bad blood.Topics:Hantavirus cruise getting worseRatsGas pricesPresidential assassination attemptsTom's dentistBobcat GoldthwaiteComedy's broad audienceSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Cynthia Schumacher is 97 years old and has been writing poetry since high school. For those less math-minded among you, that adds up to a very long time. She's still at it, too, having just put out a book of short stories called Prose Pizza. Where's Tom, you ask? Probably performing amateur dentistry on himself.Topics:Tom's broken toothBlake Lively vs Justin Baldoni resolutionNo more alcohol on Delta flights under 350 milesHantavirus cruiseSanitary travelingTed Turner diesAI data centersHasselhoff vs. the burgerCynthia SchumacherTeaching Hamlet to 9th gradersFlorida in the early 20th centuryColin defends EthanSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.