The Tom Barnard Show

If you had 72 billion dollars, what would you buy? Would you buy WB? Because you could. But you could also go more practical and buy six months worth of health insurance. With a $10,000 deductible. And no dental.On the show:The familyKristyn BurttTim LammersTopics:Everything is about moneyKristyn's PBS driveHealth insurance costsNetflix buying WBTim's dogSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

It was -10 this morning, so let's talk about advances in getting your car to start when it's so cold that gasoline turns into a solid. Or at least I assume that's what's going on inside my car. I'm not a mechanic. While we're at it, let's talk about advances in bottom of the barrel cheese. And by "advances" I mean "increasingly large quantities of plastic and dyes".On the show:TomKathrynAndyBrittany HaganMike BryantTopics:Minnesota still sucksIt's very coldGovernment and non-government cheesePresidential spending run amokNunsSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Winter is officially here. I mean "official" by Minnesota standards: we're hitting sub-zero temperatures tonight. Now that's what you call winter. But what do you call a Real ID? Find out the difference and what you need the various types of Minnesota ID for on today's show, when we're not complaining about louts and scallywags. And vagabonds.On the show:TomKathrynAndyFormer Officer DaveTopics:Minnesota corruption/fraudAI-generated videosGetting back at societyMinnesota IDsSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

December just started and we're looking at nearly a foot of snow with subzero temperatures. Our sports teams are almost all quite awful. Our government is even worse than our sports teams. Not that we have nothing but complaints. The Vikings sucking generates a solid 30-45 minutes of content every week via Bob's exasperation. Every cloud has a silver lining.On the show:TomKathrynAndyCostaki EconompoulosBob SansevereTopics:Minnesota corruptionSports are about the journey, not the destinationThe Vikings blowoutBob the grandpa (AKA Ol' Pappy)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Winter has begun. Okay, technically winter still has another three weeks until it actually begins, but this is Minnesota. We've already got 8 inches of snow and it's gonna be in the negatives Wednesday night. It's winter. Kristyn and Brad spend all their time in warm climates so they wouldn't understand.On the show:The familyKristyn BurttBrad BlanksTopics:Katy Perry's feud with an old manKaty Perry dating Justin TrudeauDancing With the Stars breaks a recordBrad Blanks' father's funeralBrad's viral clipsSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Shane is a laid back kind of guy. Possibly because of all the psychedelics. Another possibility is that in 2012, he had recently released his first comedy album and was riding high on the fame. He's also midwestern, which makes it so weird that he took so long to grow facial hair. It's like he never even dreamed of being a lumberjack despite growing up in lumberjack territory.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This was Frank's first appearance on our show, and considering he was just on a couple weeks ago (and - surprise - is going to be on again in another couple weeks), it's safe to say he's been a show mainstay since the very beginning. His audio quality is a lot better now too!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This episode represents two things of the past. One, when gay marriage wasn't legal everywhere in America. Two, when we used to have state-level politicians on. Now, we're not saying having Richard on was a bad idea, but we are saying that during the lifetime of the show, politicians have averaged toward insane for longer than not. A lot longer.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

We promised a Tracy-centric episode, and we delivered. I mean, she still spends a lot of it talking about her dad, but still. It's also one of the earliest instances of Kristyn returning as a semi-regular guest, before she became an extremely regular guest.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Dr. Wayne Dyer - who unfortunately died just a couple years after doing our show - joined us in the early days to talk about being extraordinary. And really, what's more extraordinary than doing an interview on a podcast from Maui? His daughter Tracy also joined us, and she even stuck around after to do her own episode. Hear that one on the next Lost Episode!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Today's topic is local Chinese places. Here in Minnesota we've got Leeann Chin. In California they, of course, have some place that's like a hundred dollars a plate. Either way, it's good stuff, and you should probably eat enough of it that people can't see your bones through your skin. Speaking of which, Tim screened Wicked part 2, so make sure to hear his thoughts on that if you're interested.On the show:The familyKristyn BurttTim LammersTopics:Wicked: For GoodHollywood anorexiaChinese foodKevin SpaceyThanksgivingSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

First we had Mama Mimi, then we talked about the autism epidemic (such as it is), and now today we talk solutions for kids grades 7-12. We're full spectrum when discussing the spectrum. We've also got an update since yesterday: no, people are not going to stop talking about the Epstein files until they're actually released. If anything, they're talking about them more. Oh well.On the show:TomKathrynAndyKristyn BurttMike BryantBrittany ArnesonRyan RehnstrandTopics covered:Old cell phonesEpstein files partisanshipLionsgate academySpecial needs kids/kids on the spectrumSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Congress more or less unanimously voted to release the Epstein files, which is good news because it means people might finally shut up about them. I don't care who gets indicted, I just want to hear about something else. For example, let's hear about how having a hard childhood makes you a better comedian. Those defense mechanisms can be pretty powerful.On the show:TomAndyKristyn BurttJeff CesarioTopics covered:Social media trollsEpstein files voteLife in KenoshaLouie AndersonDennis MillerSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In Germany, there are no NFL-related territory wars. After all, how could there be? They don't have an NFL team. Instead, they just pick who they like. It's kind of like how in Florida, they don't have ice skating so instead they skate on whichever surface is most suitable to them. Well I guess it's not actually like that at all, but how else am I going to connect those two topics?On the show:TomKathrynAndyCostaki EconomopoulosKristyn BurttTopics covered:NFL game in BerlinMerry Little Ex-MasSynthetic ice/snowAutism epidemicSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

There are a lot of people with kids out there who need extra help with language. Whether they don't read well, talk well, or spell well, it can be hard to know what the best way forward is. Mimi seeks to solve that with a one stop shop for all your education and community needs at mamamimi.com. Then, once you're done with all that stress, why not melt into the couch and watch 4 identical Christmas movies in a row?On the show:The familyKristyn BurttMimi ManeshTopics covered:Keeping your politics to yourselfHallmark Christmas moviesFlying is unpleasantMama MimiNeurodivergenceSign languageSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

It's gonna be 65, but don't get used to it. This is Minnesota, and that means November is winter. Or at least winter-adjacent. But that's okay. You don't care how cold it is when you're watching the coming onslaught of Christmas movies and messed up thrillers. Why those two seem to correlate I cannot say. Yin and yang, I guess.On the show:The familyKristyn BurttTim LammersTopics covered:Christmas moviesIn-flight entertainmentThe airplane experienceRunning ManBlue Eyed GirlSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

We talk about how nobody gets along a lot on this show. Too much, some would say. But it is a real problem. Kraig from Braver Angels knows this. That's why his organization gets people together from both sides to have conversations. And yes, it's very sad that simply getting people to talk and not immediately throw a hissy fit is something that requires an organization to achieve, but that's America right now.On the show:AndyKristyn BurttBrittany ArnesonMike BryantKraig FinwallTopics covered:AI-generated productsVarious docu-series and biopicsBraver AngelsConversations across party linesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Stalkers are weird. They're also weirdly common. It seems like every other person has a story of an ex stalking them to some degree. Why do they do it? Perhaps the same reason people think being so famous you can't leave your house is a good idea: some people are just wired different.On the show:TomAndyKristyn BurttTopics covered:StalkersDancing with the Stars 20th anniversaryTom BergeronGovernment shutdownTrump's $2000 dividendLifestyles of the rich and the famousSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

It's veterans day - not to be confused with memorial day - so let's take a moment to thank all the men who fought for our country. Then let's take a moment to thank all the women who had double digit numbers of children. Then let's get crazy and talk about nonuplets why not. Beats talking about sports or backed up sink drains.On the show:TomKathrynAndyKristyn BurttBob SansevereTopics covered:Veterans dayBacked up sinkSally Kirkland diesDogsBig familiesMichael Jackson biopic and controversyDeer huntingMinnesota sports and the suckage thereofSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

We didn't set out to make a podcast about health. Things just turned out that way. Maybe it's because everyone is constantly losing and unlosing weight, making sure their mental state is sound, and getting diagnosed with various neurological disorders. Or maybe it's because we're secretly part of the MAHA movement and it's our insidious plot to get you to eat your broccoli. It could be either.On the show:The familyKristyn BurttTopics covered:Emotional wellnessADHD/Autism/Dyslexia/Etc.Med overprescribingWeight lossSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Tom is 74 today, which normally would call for cake. Alas, the quest for pound droppage takes priority. But that's okay. You don't need cake to enjoy your birthday. Movies about evil extradimensional entities and tentacle-faced monsters who want to kill you are just as enjoyable. Depending on who you are, of course.On the show:The familyKristyn BurttTim LammersTopics covered:Tom's birthdayFavorite birthday cakeAIPredator: BadlandsIT: Welcome to DerrySee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Health insurance keeps going up, which is no real surprise because everything has gone up by approximately 5000% since 2020. We just wish it would stop at some point. But you know what's even more expensive than health insurance? Being found liable in a civil suit. So if you have the choice between a tort or a doctor's visit, choose the latter.On the show:TomKathrynAndyKristyn BurttMike BryantBrittany ArnesonTopics covered:Health insuranceWoman who looks like Howard SternBrittany's theater storyMike's many trialsMarshawn Kneeland apparent suicideSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

It wasn't a good 24 hours for airplanes. First one blows up in Kentucky, then there was the bomb threat in NYC. Maybe stay grounded for a little while, just to be safe. And while you're down here, why not check out the hundreds of things to do in Minnesota courtesy of Julie Jo Larson?See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Andy's back, several pounds lighter. The Twins have a new manager and his record is mediocre at best. Bob's dogs ran away. And to top it all off, how about those taxes? The only news today that makes up for it all is that they chose this year's sexiest man alive and he's not a politician. Because you know they would.On the show:TomKathrynAndyCostaki EconomopoulosKristyn BurttBob SansevereTopics Covered:FootballSexiest man aliveNew Twins managerOld TVsMayoral elections todayWest Palm Beach taxesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Andy's family is still sick with a horrible stomach virus, which is ironic because that you're supposed to be getting sick from eating too much candy this time of year instead. The rest of the family did just fine though, with tales of Halloween making its way through the gloom here and there.On the show:TomKathrynAlexKristyn BurttEllen CousinsSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

It's Friday, and you know what that means: it's time for Andy to be absent because of an illness again. And it's also time for Tim Lammers. This Halloween it's the battle of the century, on one side being people who liked Frankenstein and on the other side being Tom and Kathryn, apparently.On the show:TomKathrynAlexKristyn BurttTim LammersSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Have you ever noticed how nobody has dinner parties any more? They were all the rage back in the 90s. Now it's all DoorDash and taco trucks. Also instead of wearing fur and feathers, rich people are wearing outfits that look like something from Fallout. Where did society go so wrong? We'll tell you one place it didn't go wrong: the POW/MIA Riders Association, recovering soldiers or their remains from overseas after having gone missing. It's a more worthy use of $6,000 than the ugliest outfit you've ever seen.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

We like to get people of all walks of life on our show. A famous impressionist, a psychotherapist (not a psychologist), an ex-cop, a Hollywood reporter. Also two podcasters. Not quite as exciting, I know.On the show:TomAndyKristyn BurttDaveJesse the ShrinkFrank CaliendoTopics covered:All this hatred of one anotherPolice dash camsPodcasting killed the radio starImpressions vs. the legal systemSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

As gambling becomes easier and more accessible, so does cheating. It's just a fact of life. Players are losing millions to tables equipped with x-ray machines and opponents with bionic eyes. On the other side, apparently you can have your entire skeleton shattered and still play if that's what you want. Or more accurately, if that's what your coach wants. On the show:TomKathrynAndyCostaki EconomopoulosKristyn BurttBob SansevereTopics covered:Potentially gay celebritiesGambling scandalHalf time shows of a certain ageCelebrities debasing themselvesMinnesota sportsSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

If you're looking for Bob, look to the future. Tomorrow, specifically. He'll be on Tuesdays from now on since Chris Egert unfortunately can't make it in any more. From now on, Monday is for discussion about what happened over the weekend, and there's never any shortage of that. If any of this news makes you feel like eating your feelings, we have a lovely 20,000 calorie burger we can recommend.On the show:The familyKristyn BurttTopics covered:FrankensteinBurgersHeart Attack GrillTaylor Sheridan leaving ParamountAlex's fundraiserAndy's birthdaySee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

You've got one more week until Halloween, which means seven days of horror and horror-adjacent media. Then November hits and it's all over. And that's a shame, because on top of decades of mandatory classics, you need to watch new stuff too. They should really think about extending the season a week or two into November.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Crash and Burn is here for the 14th year in a row, which makes it only slightly older than our own show. Back then, people were less into watching shows about psychotic murderers or sex traffickers. It was a much more optimistic time. It could be argued we need comedy now more than then, so go check it out lest you too fall into the true crime rabbit hole.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Mark Malkoff joins us today to determine who's more obsessed with Carson - him or Tom. Considering he's written a book and hosted a podcast specifically on the topic, it's safe to say it's him. But we've done almost 3000 episodes of this show and Carson comes up in approximately half of them, so maybe it's closer than you think.On the show:TomAndyKristyn BurttMark MalkoffTopics covered:Halloween moviesTorture porn vs. movies that are actually goodJohnny CarsonLove Johnny CarsonSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Have you ever watched a football game so bad you started thinking about race relations of the 1930s and invasive medical procedures to cope? If so, you might be a Falcons fan. Or a Vikings fan. And while we're on the subject of much-needed change, Minnetonka's getting a new mayor in two weeks. One candidate, Ellen Cousins, joins us today to talk about what she'd bring to the city.On the show:TomKathrynAndyCostaki EconompoulosKristyn BurttEllen CousinsTopics covered:Jesse Owens vs. Adolf HitlerBone marrow transplantLithium ion battery safetyMinnetonka mayoral raceSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Tom and Kathryn watched a John Candy documentary. Similarities were noticed. Kind of like how boy bands and k-pop are similar. Or how the red carpet is similar to certain circles of hell. Life is full of comparisons.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

They're doing more stuff in Riyadh, which means more celebrities making millions of dollars and people being very unhappy about that. Ace Frehley made his money the legitimate way by rocking and rolling all night, so nobody's mad at him.On the show:The familyKristyn BurttTim LammersTopics covered:RiyadhCharlie meets CostakiGood FortuneNaked GunAce Frehley diesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Apparently motorcycles break a lot. At least they do when you ride them across the country nonstop. Motorcycles aren't exactly the safest machines to begin with, but when you add "catastrophic axle damage" to the equation you've got a real problem. That's why we recommend divine intervention. It works great if you can get it.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

When you think of someone who wants to change Minnesota, you think of positions of fame. Governor, mayor of a big city, state senator, and so forth. But what about auditor? Lack of oversight on our spending is arguably one of our biggest issues. Being able to fix that would go a long way toward fixing everything else. That's what Nate's all about. We'll start with the budget and work our way from there.On the show:TomKathrynAndyNate GeorgeTopics covered:AI bubbleMinnesota state auditorPoorly managed Minnesota financesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

We've got an investment opportunity for you. $100,000 can get you $10,000,000, and it's a sure thing. All we need is a time machine. It doesn't have to be a great one. Even just 20 years back will suffice. Failing that, we suggest shorting the Jets. Can you short an NFL team? On the show:TomKathrynAndyCostaki EconomopoulosChris EgertTopics covered:Palm Beach property valuesThe Jets suckBillionairesBeing very tallSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Tom and Kathryn are in Florida once more, the hostages have been freed, and Bob's about to be a grandpa. All is well in the world. For the five people on today's show, anyway. Plus when you have a sore throat you have an excuse to drink whiskey all day. What's there to complain about? On the show:The familyBob SansevereTopics covered:Gaza hostagesVikings bye weekSore throat remediesGrandpa BobFlorida road tripSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Not everyone, not even the very rich, often make it to 100. Most of us do make it to the age where you need reading glasses though. That's pretty scary. Even scarier than a giant green guy lumbering around going "rrrrr". But not scarier than Ed Gein.On the show:AlexAndyKristyn BurttTim LammersTopics covered:Very old celebritiesReading glassesTron: AresMinecraftFrankensteinEd GeinBadly generated AI musicSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The whole family is absent today save for one. Luckily, it's the one who knows how to work all these electronics. Besides, plenty of people showed up to talk mostly about Curious George and his irresponsible owner.On the show:AndyKristyn BurttMelissaBrittanyChris EgertColinTopics covered:Palisades firesAI generated contentCurious GeorgeMichael J FoxOcean'sParenting young childrenSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.