The Tom Barnard Show

Andy's back, several pounds lighter. The Twins have a new manager and his record is mediocre at best. Bob's dogs ran away. And to top it all off, how about those taxes? The only news today that makes up for it all is that they chose this year's sexiest man alive and he's not a politician. Because you know they would.On the show:TomKathrynAndyCostaki EconomopoulosKristyn BurttBob SansevereTopics Covered:FootballSexiest man aliveNew Twins managerOld TVsMayoral elections todayWest Palm Beach taxesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Andy's family is still sick with a horrible stomach virus, which is ironic because that you're supposed to be getting sick from eating too much candy this time of year instead. The rest of the family did just fine though, with tales of Halloween making its way through the gloom here and there.On the show:TomKathrynAlexKristyn BurttEllen CousinsSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

It's Friday, and you know what that means: it's time for Andy to be absent because of an illness again. And it's also time for Tim Lammers. This Halloween it's the battle of the century, on one side being people who liked Frankenstein and on the other side being Tom and Kathryn, apparently.On the show:TomKathrynAlexKristyn BurttTim LammersSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Have you ever noticed how nobody has dinner parties any more? They were all the rage back in the 90s. Now it's all DoorDash and taco trucks. Also instead of wearing fur and feathers, rich people are wearing outfits that look like something from Fallout. Where did society go so wrong? We'll tell you one place it didn't go wrong: the POW/MIA Riders Association, recovering soldiers or their remains from overseas after having gone missing. It's a more worthy use of $6,000 than the ugliest outfit you've ever seen.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

We like to get people of all walks of life on our show. A famous impressionist, a psychotherapist (not a psychologist), an ex-cop, a Hollywood reporter. Also two podcasters. Not quite as exciting, I know.On the show:TomAndyKristyn BurttDaveJesse the ShrinkFrank CaliendoTopics covered:All this hatred of one anotherPolice dash camsPodcasting killed the radio starImpressions vs. the legal systemSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

As gambling becomes easier and more accessible, so does cheating. It's just a fact of life. Players are losing millions to tables equipped with x-ray machines and opponents with bionic eyes. On the other side, apparently you can have your entire skeleton shattered and still play if that's what you want. Or more accurately, if that's what your coach wants. On the show:TomKathrynAndyCostaki EconomopoulosKristyn BurttBob SansevereTopics covered:Potentially gay celebritiesGambling scandalHalf time shows of a certain ageCelebrities debasing themselvesMinnesota sportsSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

If you're looking for Bob, look to the future. Tomorrow, specifically. He'll be on Tuesdays from now on since Chris Egert unfortunately can't make it in any more. From now on, Monday is for discussion about what happened over the weekend, and there's never any shortage of that. If any of this news makes you feel like eating your feelings, we have a lovely 20,000 calorie burger we can recommend.On the show:The familyKristyn BurttTopics covered:FrankensteinBurgersHeart Attack GrillTaylor Sheridan leaving ParamountAlex's fundraiserAndy's birthdaySee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

You've got one more week until Halloween, which means seven days of horror and horror-adjacent media. Then November hits and it's all over. And that's a shame, because on top of decades of mandatory classics, you need to watch new stuff too. They should really think about extending the season a week or two into November.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Crash and Burn is here for the 14th year in a row, which makes it only slightly older than our own show. Back then, people were less into watching shows about psychotic murderers or sex traffickers. It was a much more optimistic time. It could be argued we need comedy now more than then, so go check it out lest you too fall into the true crime rabbit hole.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Mark Malkoff joins us today to determine who's more obsessed with Carson - him or Tom. Considering he's written a book and hosted a podcast specifically on the topic, it's safe to say it's him. But we've done almost 3000 episodes of this show and Carson comes up in approximately half of them, so maybe it's closer than you think.On the show:TomAndyKristyn BurttMark MalkoffTopics covered:Halloween moviesTorture porn vs. movies that are actually goodJohnny CarsonLove Johnny CarsonSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Have you ever watched a football game so bad you started thinking about race relations of the 1930s and invasive medical procedures to cope? If so, you might be a Falcons fan. Or a Vikings fan. And while we're on the subject of much-needed change, Minnetonka's getting a new mayor in two weeks. One candidate, Ellen Cousins, joins us today to talk about what she'd bring to the city.On the show:TomKathrynAndyCostaki EconompoulosKristyn BurttEllen CousinsTopics covered:Jesse Owens vs. Adolf HitlerBone marrow transplantLithium ion battery safetyMinnetonka mayoral raceSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Tom and Kathryn watched a John Candy documentary. Similarities were noticed. Kind of like how boy bands and k-pop are similar. Or how the red carpet is similar to certain circles of hell. Life is full of comparisons.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

They're doing more stuff in Riyadh, which means more celebrities making millions of dollars and people being very unhappy about that. Ace Frehley made his money the legitimate way by rocking and rolling all night, so nobody's mad at him.On the show:The familyKristyn BurttTim LammersTopics covered:RiyadhCharlie meets CostakiGood FortuneNaked GunAce Frehley diesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Apparently motorcycles break a lot. At least they do when you ride them across the country nonstop. Motorcycles aren't exactly the safest machines to begin with, but when you add "catastrophic axle damage" to the equation you've got a real problem. That's why we recommend divine intervention. It works great if you can get it.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

When you think of someone who wants to change Minnesota, you think of positions of fame. Governor, mayor of a big city, state senator, and so forth. But what about auditor? Lack of oversight on our spending is arguably one of our biggest issues. Being able to fix that would go a long way toward fixing everything else. That's what Nate's all about. We'll start with the budget and work our way from there.On the show:TomKathrynAndyNate GeorgeTopics covered:AI bubbleMinnesota state auditorPoorly managed Minnesota financesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

We've got an investment opportunity for you. $100,000 can get you $10,000,000, and it's a sure thing. All we need is a time machine. It doesn't have to be a great one. Even just 20 years back will suffice. Failing that, we suggest shorting the Jets. Can you short an NFL team? On the show:TomKathrynAndyCostaki EconomopoulosChris EgertTopics covered:Palm Beach property valuesThe Jets suckBillionairesBeing very tallSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Tom and Kathryn are in Florida once more, the hostages have been freed, and Bob's about to be a grandpa. All is well in the world. For the five people on today's show, anyway. Plus when you have a sore throat you have an excuse to drink whiskey all day. What's there to complain about? On the show:The familyBob SansevereTopics covered:Gaza hostagesVikings bye weekSore throat remediesGrandpa BobFlorida road tripSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Not everyone, not even the very rich, often make it to 100. Most of us do make it to the age where you need reading glasses though. That's pretty scary. Even scarier than a giant green guy lumbering around going "rrrrr". But not scarier than Ed Gein.On the show:AlexAndyKristyn BurttTim LammersTopics covered:Very old celebritiesReading glassesTron: AresMinecraftFrankensteinEd GeinBadly generated AI musicSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The whole family is absent today save for one. Luckily, it's the one who knows how to work all these electronics. Besides, plenty of people showed up to talk mostly about Curious George and his irresponsible owner.On the show:AndyKristyn BurttMelissaBrittanyChris EgertColinTopics covered:Palisades firesAI generated contentCurious GeorgeMichael J FoxOcean'sParenting young childrenSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Everyone experiences a crisis sometimes. You can't prevent them all, so you have to learn how to deal with them. That's what The Crisis Files is for. And wouldn't you know it, you're getting three of them back to back, recorded live at the Mall of America.On the show:TomKathrynAndyKristyn BurttRoshini RajkumarTopics covered:TikTokKevin Costner's divorcesJournalistic integrityCrisis FilesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Today in football news: not very much football. But there was an alleyway altercation where a football-adjacent individual got stabbed, which is just unusual enough to make it its own segment.On the show:TomKathrynAndyKristyn BurttCostaki EconomopoulosRick KupchellaTopics Covered:Mark Sanchez gets stabbedTree frogCalifornia's AI billPrecarious StateSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

If you've ever wanted to lose 220 million dollars, you should have gotten into Minneapolis commercial real estate about ten years ago. But hey, it's not too late. There's plenty of money left to lose in that city, unless things start changing in a hurry. And speaking of changing in a hurry, when are all of these hundred year old former NFL players getting into the hall of fame? When, I ask you?On the show:TomKathrynAndyKristyn BurttBob SansevereTopics covered:Precarious StateMinneapolis office spaceJay JonesFootball (non) hall of famersSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

First Kathryn is incapacitated, now Andy. That's okay though. How hard could running all that equipment really be? Besides, we've got Kristyn and Tim, so we can't just abandon them or their loyal fans.On the show:TomAlexKristyn BurttTim LammersSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

No, he's not running for governor. Sorry, we've asked. That goes for both our guests today. Being governor is a lot of pressure. You've got the mansion, the speeches, the top hat. It's just too much. Plus when would they have time to make booya or do stand-up comedy?On the show:TomAndyKristyn BurttMike BryantJason SchommerJimmy FrancisTopics covered:Jude's prescription foodKids these daysTulsa kingGoing viralPolitical divisionRural MinnesotaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Diana fills in for Kathryn today, which works well because she's got 40 years of KARE history to go through with Tom, give or take. She's also using her skill set as a reporter in the pursuit of nature photography. Apparently Jeffrey Dahmer's apartment has been given back to nature, but it's probably still not the kind of place you go to take pictures.On the show:TomAndyKristyn BurttDiana PierceTopics covered:Rocco Baldelli firingKeith Urban divorceSerial killers and their living quartersNature photographyMinnesota TV and radioSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Has your neighbor ever tried to make you relapse? Have you ever had fourteen children? Are you an obese O-10? The answer to all of these is probably "no", which is what makes them interesting. A real man bites dog situation, as Chris may or may not say. It's a news thing. On the show:TomKathrynAndyCostaki EconomopoulosKristyn BurtChris EgertTopics covered:Neighbor from hellShaun Alexander's kidsHalf time showsAir friersFat generalsSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Kathryn and Alex are back from Vegas and they've got the scoop. Is the town dying? Is the Sphere everything you've heard and more? How tolerable is the smell? Get your Vegas info here, because you certainly don't want to hear about the Twins.On the show:TomKathrynAlexAndyKristyn BurttBob SansevereTopics covered:Las VegasWizard of Oz at The SphereVegas hotelsBad Bunny at the Super BowlYouTube clickbaitSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Kathryn and Alex are out, which means we have two sad guys on the show today. No, not those two; guess again. Kristyn notices and suggests Tom do some self care. Brittany also notices but instead we start talking about bad touch in public places. It's good not to dwell on one topic for too long, you know.On the show:TomAndyKristyn BurttBrittany HaganTopics covered:Jude the sad dogLiving in a bubbleViolence is badPsychology of sexual harassmentRadio vs podcastingSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

If you've ever had a double lung transplant, you know it's a pretty serious operation. Almost as serious as a fastball to the face. Or extradimensional visitors. Those are pretty serious business too. We discuss all these things and more, so I guess you could say today's show is pretty serious. It's not, but you could say that.On the show:TomKathrynAndyKristyn BurttMike BryantTyson SchnitkerDave SchraderTopics covered:Disney in legal troubleDisney WorldDavid FryTyson's lung transplantDave's new show, Paranormal MysteriesTwin Cities Film FestivalSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Everything is expensive nowadays. Except for flights to Denver. Those are dirt cheap. Still, that's no excuse to shoplift. Or to essentially encourage shoplifting by not punishing it. Just because we don't have a cop on the show any more doesn't mean it's not important to respect the law. Also, respect comedian slash therapists. There aren't very many so it shouldn't be difficult.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The primary maxim of modern economics is that the line must always go up. Increase the GDP, increase the spending, increase the jobs. Minnesota's line has not been going up. In some metrics, we're near the worst in the country. Why? Rick might not know all the answers, but he has enough to put together a documentary called Precarious State, launching next Thursday.On the show:TomKathrynAndyCostaki EconomopoulosRick KupchellaTopics covered:FootballFalcons suckMinnesota's net negative economyTwin Cities decaySee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The Vikings beat the Bengals by 38 points. You'd think we'd be making victory laps, but we know better. Minnesota sports fans don't get optimistic until the point when a loss dashes our hopes with maximal dashedness. Or whatever.On the show:The familyBob SansevereTopics Covered:Hail stormFamily drama in BrainerdBig Bold Beautiful JourneyGrease at the Chanhassen Dinner TheaterVikings and TwinsMae's life storySee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

David Bassitt is back and wouldn't you know it, he's still orange. Some things never change. Kind of like movies and TV for the past ten years. It's been a great decade for fans of remakes and reboots. Fans of original content, not so much.On the show:The whole familyKristyn BurttDavid BassittTopics Covered:Adele at the Super BowlThe PaperRemakesHorse SteakOrangeCustomer service woesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Brad recently found himself the owner of Big Rock Creek, a thousand acres just across the St. Croix. It's not all for him though; head over and buy yourself a day pass. You've got nothing to do now that Jimmy Kimmel is off the air, right?On the show:AndyTomMike BryantKristyn BurttBrad HansenTopics Covered:Big Rock CreekJimmy KimmelBody found in car registered to D4vdSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In 5-10 years, there will only be one streaming service. It'll cost $500 a month and have three shows on it. Keep those Blu Rays close. Whether this show will still be going in ten years we can't say, but if it is we'll start putting out physical albums at that point out of protest.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Chris joins the illustrious group of Herniated Disc Havers, and he's here forever. Meanwhile, celebrities who don't like aging can simply get their faces replaced. What's that all about? We truly do live in a society.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The Vikings got crushed by the Falcons. Bad news for us tomorrow when Costaki comes on. The Twins are also doing poorly, but we've come to expect that. What we didn't expect is for the Hollywood elite to misunderstand a joke and take themselves way too seriously. Wait, yes we did.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

We've been talking about it all week, but there's still a lot to say. Does anybody really know why it happened or how to stop it? Probably not. But there are patterns that can't be ignored and correlations that can't be explained away. And speaking of patterns, are you in the mood for yet another show where a girl is caught in a love triangle with Handsome Brooding Guy and Handsome Charismatic Guy? If so, we've got just the recommendation for you. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Charlie Kirk was assassinated in broad daylight yesterday. Now today is the 24th anniversary of 9/11. Needless to say, it hasn't been a great 24 hours. If you want to try and make the world a slightly better place, why not visit the Children's Hospital rummage sale this weekend? Get yourself some cheap furniture and support kids. Everyone wins.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The new Charlie Sheen documentary is out, and it promises to be an unpleasant watch. Apparently that's what people like though. Drama, anger, fear. The good news is for us that we can officially label ourselves as counterculture, since we attract very little drama. And being counterculture means you're cool. Sorry, that's the law.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The Vikings beat the Bears. We didn't see it coming. Next up is the Falcons, so whoever wins, you also win because you get to hear someone complain about it next week. But hey, complaining works. Just ask Cracker Barrel patrons. So keep on being that squeaky wheel.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Spoiler alert for Unknown Number - we saw it over the weekend and we're having The Conversation. We originally were going to keep it under wraps but that didn't exactly pan out. So if you haven't seen it and you care about spoilers, you might want to avoid Kristyn's segment today. The good news is we didn't spoil anything with Dr. Jensen even though we bring up some things that are considered forbidden in certain circles.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.