The Tom Barnard Show

Connie Francis died recently at the age of 81. But that's not the only Francis we're missing today. Jimmy was on the calendar, but alas, his life is so fancy free that he thought today was Friday. Mike Bryant made up for it with his knowledge of legal formulas though. Do you know how to calculate damages? We sure don't.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

If you're in the Midwest you've probably noticed a lot of trees being cut down lately. Those are most likely all ash trees, and they're infected with the emerald ash borer. Cutting them down is one way to stop it. But it's not the only way. Kenny will fill you in. And while we're at it, AK will fill you in on how to get along with your fellow Minnesotan despite having major political differences.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

TV is supposedly still great, which is why it's strange that we're talking about shows from 20 years ago. Also kid's shows, but those don't get quite the same recognition. Even modern shows are probably better than what Mae did the other day though.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Tom and Kathryn are back from their visit to a tiny fishing village in Cornwall. It was more exciting than it sounds. It was also apparently a great workout. That's why English people have such famously chiseled physiques.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

It was 2012. A presidential election was on the horizon. A lot of people were very mad at the idea that someone they don't like might win and political discourse was at an all-time low because of it. Thank god that's all over, right?See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, remember Gangnam Style? The only reason I ask is because Steve is half Korean. And because this was 2012, when that song was still literally everywhere. Also, sorry we reminded you of it.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Children can be annoying sometimes. That's why you're always fighting the temptation to give em the ol' one two. That is, spanking and ice cream. But that's frowned upon in more enlightened, more lactose intolerant cultures. DISCLAIMER: Any promos, giveaways, or similar heard in Lost Episodes are no longer guaranteed to be valid. In fact, I can almost guarantee that they are not valid.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Long time listeners of Tom's might remember a simpler time when he didn't tell the Rodney Dangerfield "stick to the tumbling" joke. That all changed thanks to Jeff, and we'll never forgive him for it. That's why he hasn't been invited to any of our house parties lately. That and because apparently Tom spends a grand total of fifteen minutes actually attending them.DISCLAIMER: Any promos, giveaways, or similar heard in Lost Episodes are no longer guaranteed to be valid. In fact, I can almost guarantee that they are not valid.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hot off the tails of an episode about not smoking weed in the Netherlands, here comes an episode about yes smoking weed in America. Don't worry, though. It's medicinal. As if anyone cares now or cared back then.DISCLAIMER: Any promos, giveaways, or similar heard in Lost Episodes are no longer guaranteed to be valid. In fact, I can almost guarantee that they are not valid.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Tom Rhodes is big in the Netherlands. Not literally. You'd have to be like seven feet tall to be considered big there. But he is popular. And he knows better than to visit the Red Light District because it's bad for your honor, or whatever. I guess Dutch people are kind of like Klingons.DISCLAIMER: Any promos, giveaways, or similar heard in Lost Episodes are no longer guaranteed to be valid. In fact, I can almost guarantee that they are not valid.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Cooper Barnes is arguably most famous for playing Captain Man in the Henry Danger franchise. But before that, he was playing the role of guest on our show. He was also on In Living Color that year, so it was a great year for him. Chuck Gallagher may not be an actor, but he is a changed man. In the 90s, he made some, let's say, questionable decisions. He now spends his time motivating others to not make questionable decisions. And yet, 13 years later, we're still doing the show. Some people never learn.DISCLAIMER: Any promos, giveaways, or similar heard in Lost Episodes are no longer guaranteed to be valid. In fact, I can almost guarantee that they are not valid.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Chris is, or at least hosts, The Watchdog on Wall Street. What were the dogs watching back in 2012? The government making making money off prescriptions. Because nothing ever really changes. And speaking of nothing changing, Clayton was on for his book My Brother Ron, which is about mental illness and institutionalization. I bet you can guess what Tom talked about with him.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

It was a Monday when Robert called in about infiltrating a cartel and Dr. Rose discussed people with broken minds who do awful things. It was a heavy way to start a week. That's why I'm releasing this one on a Saturday, when the week is over. That's right, I did it on purpose. I'm definitely not just capitalizing on happenstance.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

July 5th, 2030 is going to be a day to remember. According to "the government", that's the day Tom's going to die. If you think that sounds ominous, that's because it does. But it's also most likely something Tom misread, so I wouldn't worry too much about it. What I would worry about is making time to go see Trevor tonight and tomorrow night at 8 PM at Acme. Buy a spatula while you're there.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In Boston, they tell it like it is. In Minnesota, we tell it like it isn't. Each of us guard a door, and behind one of the doors is priceless treasure. Behind the other, a violent sex offender who we sent to prison for 15 minutes. Choose wisely.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Carver county had four confirmed tornados touch down over the weekend. Everyone knew about it. Well, almost everyone. Luckily there wasn't too much damage. Not as much as Bezos did to his own reputation with his ostentatious wedding, anyway.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What's your opinion on cruises? You other love them or hate them. After today's show, you'll probably hate them. But that's okay, because there's plenty to do. Why not go watch one of the three good movies? Or listen to Ross on SKOR North? Assuming you have time after your daily listening party of our podcast, of course.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In 2019, Landen Hoffmann was thrown off the third floor balcony in the Mall of America. Kari attributes his survival to a miracle. Unsurprisingly, we talk a lot about religion the rest of the episode. Also local media, considering both Tom and Neal are local media mainstays and Kari had plenty of experiences with them.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Remember the ice bucket challenge? Well it's back. It took a while to make enough ice. Sage decided to dump a bucket of it on himself, and we've got the audio. We also discuss every TV show and movie ever made going back to the 1950s.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Martin Kove has bitten a coworker. What this means for the future of humanity, we cannot say. Probably not a lot. But let's not discount all possibilities. For example, maybe the Twins will start being good. I don't really know how those two could be connected, but I don't know how you can lose almost ten games in a row either.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The Twins suck. The weather sucks. Even the acoustics suck here. So why stay in Minnesota? How about our famous rodeos? Bob just got done with one, and the excitement aged him 20 years. Also check out our illustrious electric scooter industry. Just wear a helmet.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Once upon a time, video killed the radio star. Younger listeners might not know that in this case, "video" refers to music videos that they used to play on TV. Yeah, those are kind of gone now too. Now it's all about YouTube and podcasts. Also stand-up comedy. That's changed too, but they're still standing up and doing comedy, so at least it's familiar.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Mike Bryant is in today hot off a case of someone being molested as a child, so we talk at length about that for a while. Then J. Marie comes on to talk about Back to the Fifties. We decided not to attempt to segue the two and just let the conversation head in a more positive direction.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

If you're a musician in the 1970s, don't build your own plane and then try to fly it. Also, you probably shouldn't be using your time machine to listen to our show, but we're not going to stop you. And while you're at it, why not listen to Mischke? That's the name of the host and also of the podcast. It's not The Mischke Road Show any more. He's left the road behind him.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

You know Froot Loops? Have you ever looked at them and thought "this seems a little too colorful"? From the sound of it, kids today may be growing up without such concerns. The good news is they'll still be able to get all the nutritious anabolic steroids their bodies need to become professional wrestlers.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Two Minnesota politicians, Melissa Hortman and John Hoffman, have been shot. Melissa has died, while John's status is cautiously optimistic. Meanwhile, famous celebrities are on trial for sex trafficking, cities are on fire, and ALS cases are increasing. All in all, a great year so far.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Have you ever wanted to put AI generated versions of us in a horror movie? Try it and we'll be contacting our lawyers. That is, unless you're still around once all our content enters the public domain. Then there's nothing we can do. All we ask is that you give your movie a relatively clever name.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

One of Tom's favorite people has died. No, not Brittany. She's immortal. Brian Wilson has passed, leaving behind a music legacy and a lot of baggage. And speaking of legacies, if you've ever wanted to know how we all feel about being famous or fame-adjacent, this is your show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Today, we got into the studio and discovered the internet was broken. Then it came back, but our computer was broken. Then we fixed that, but by then we were fed up with the modern era so we decided to go back to 1960s Minneapolis for a while. It also sucked, but it sucked in a different way. A change of pace is always nice.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What's the difference between a protest and a riot? Whether or not you agree with the people doing the protesting or rioting. Well, depending on who you ask, LA is currently experiencing either the apocalypse or a polite discussion over tea. So basically, business as usual.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Google is slow. Bob can't get into Streamyard, and his 1980s computer equipment is on the fritz. Tom's camera is turning itself off. Makes you feel like you're in the Twilight Zone. But not all is lost: the Tony awards were apparently surprisingly watchable. You know, if you actually like broadway theater.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Have you ever noticed that a lot of celebrities actually look kind of weird? Big heads, big noses, big mouths. The camera might add ten pounds, but apparently it also subtracts a hat size or two. Now there's something that will actually shrink your head.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Remember when we had Bill on our show back in 2020? Well, technically it was Car Selling Secrets, but who's counting. You may recall he also started a podcast shortly after that ran for about a year. He's back, it's back, and we're ready to start releasing new episodes in about a month. Until then, you'll have to settle for this show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

We've known Dave for a long time. We've known Cassie, his wife, even longer. And as it turns out, ten years is a long time. We just found out recently. But not everything changes despite the passage of time, at least not right away: Dave is still out there hunting ghosts, we're still doing our podcast, and people are still greedy.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Ever been in a 50 lane traffic jam? How about stuck in your car for 5 days? No? That must make you proud to be an American. Or anything but someone from Hong Kong, really. Maybe you're a little less proud lately what with all the smoke in the air, but at least we live in the future where we have personal air purifiers. The Jetsons would be jealous.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Bob's got some big news to share today: the Twins suck. Well, and one other thing. It's not as big of a deal as Tudum, but you do get to take home something other than a shirt and a bag.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

You know how the Lowry tunnel is a major slowdown on a good day? Have you ever wondered how slow it would be if a semi truck wrapped itself around the divider wall? Wonder no more! Simply visit today and see for yourself. Then when you're done, why not visit Tommy at Laugh Camp tonight and tomorrow? Go see both to make sure you don't miss anything.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

You know what's bad? People who take what isn't theirs. You know, scammers, fraudsters, hoodwinkers, gleepsters. I may have made that last one up. What's even worse though is having to drive your own car. Think of how much you could get done during your daily commute. Not that we as Minnesotans ever have any chance of that happening, but we're very happy for Texas in a passive aggressive way.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Remember almost ten years ago when Tyson was on talking about his new business, the Skaalvenn Distillery? It's still going strong despite all that's happened since then. Unfortunately, he also urgently needs a double lung transplant. Odds are he's gonna get one, but it's still not what you want to be doing with your free time.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The Lilo and Stitch remake beat Mission Impossible. Is it because it was just that great, or because after thirty years and eight movies we're a bit sick of Ethan Hunt? According to a few of our listeners, it's both. And speaking of being sick of things for decades, we've been sick of Minnesota sports since the Twins last won the world series in the 14th century.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Never mind. I found a good Memorial Day episode. And by "I", I mean it definitely wasn't Louisville Joe who came up with the idea and found the episode number for me. Nope, all me. Anyway, Tig, Oz, and Tanto were all present at the attacks in Benghazi in 2012. Can't get much more military than that. Surprisingly, for people who recently saw direct combat, they're fairly upbeat.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

It's Memorial Day, which means we're too busy remembering to do a show. I tried to find an old episode where we interviewed someone military-related, but I came up blank, so instead how about one where we talk about that one time we interviewed someone military-related? It's like remembering twice.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.