The Tom Barnard Show

Remember last time Kenny was on and we had a scheduling conflict, but it ended up going well? This time we have the opposite problem: a studio full of no-shows. Lucky for us there are enough emerald ash borers in the world to keep the conversation going. Unlucky for the trees, though.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Have you ever been shot? Not with a gun, specifically. Any sort of projectile will do. Despite being an ancient weapon, an arrow in the wrong place can still be just as bad news as a bullet. But at least the air is somewhat clear now, right? Won't be coughing as you're bleeding out after being ambushed by medieval highwaymen.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

One day, Dave Bassitt decided to start wearing orange. Since then it's become a major thing. He's even written a book about it. If you can believe it, the book is called Orange.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Sam Almond's middle name is Almond. His father's name is Almond, as is his grandfather's. And yet, we managed to go the whole episode without making a joke about his family being nuts. I'm proud of how far this show has come. What I'm not proud of is involuntarily breathing in a pack of cigarettes every time I walk to my car.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The 90s were a different time. The kids had mullets, the moms had perms, and the dads kind of did whatever. There were also a lot fewer drug overdoses. We're sure the two are related.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

When you think scurvy, you probably think of pirates, right? Or if you're a little more lawful, just sailors in general? Turns out it's a real thing and it's making a comeback courtesy of bad diets. When your parents told you to eat your fruits and vegetables, what they were really telling you to do was to avoid Davey Jones' locker. And thanks to Fresh Dry, you can do it with a satisfying crunch.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

There's been another rash of random attacks across the country. Is it the heat? Perhaps it's the CTE? We may never know. But we do know that whenever your weather app tells you the storm of the century is coming, you should practice some healthy skepticism.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

How many Air Bud movies are there? A handful, right? Maybe if you have really big hands. And next year there'll be another one, because we're in the golden age of nostalgia baiting. And speaking of nostalgia, remember when the Twins were good? Strangely, it seems that paying everyone tens of millions of dollars is not necessarily improving the game.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Who's on today's death roster? You'll have to listen to find out, but I will spoil it and say there's more than one. Plus, talk about Epstein and various kidnapping/murders. We like to keep Friday shows light and breezy.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

We've got two relatively major celebrity deaths in one day today, thus disproving the rule of threes by a sizeable margin. If you're going to get spiritual, now's the time. And not just because Seth believes we're on the cusp of a spiritual paradigm shift.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Ozzy Osbourne has died, surprising basically no one. Although he was starting to get that Keith Richards "immortal despite it all" reputation. Oh, and by the way, no, Jimmy doesn't want to be the governor. Too much danger.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The hottest new craze is to put flavored syrup in soda. If you think that sounds a little much, you're not alone. But hey, you gotta do what you gotta do in Mormon country. Also, here's your PSA about riptides: swim parallel to the shore, not toward it. You can't beat the riptide, but you can escape it.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Tom and Kathryn are back from their visit to wherever giants come from, and they brought photographic evidence. First Cornwall, now this. They certainly lead interesting lives. And unlike professional athletes, they don't have to stop after a few years because their knees explode.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Stephen Colbert is out, as you may have heard. You know who's not out? Everyone in the world, including a pack of dogs. I speak of course about our studio. Six voices, three dogs, and two kids out in the lobby. Probably some mice in the walls too for good measure.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Connie Francis died recently at the age of 81. But that's not the only Francis we're missing today. Jimmy was on the calendar, but alas, his life is so fancy free that he thought today was Friday. Mike Bryant made up for it with his knowledge of legal formulas though. Do you know how to calculate damages? We sure don't.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

If you're in the Midwest you've probably noticed a lot of trees being cut down lately. Those are most likely all ash trees, and they're infected with the emerald ash borer. Cutting them down is one way to stop it. But it's not the only way. Kenny will fill you in. And while we're at it, AK will fill you in on how to get along with your fellow Minnesotan despite having major political differences.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

TV is supposedly still great, which is why it's strange that we're talking about shows from 20 years ago. Also kid's shows, but those don't get quite the same recognition. Even modern shows are probably better than what Mae did the other day though.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Tom and Kathryn are back from their visit to a tiny fishing village in Cornwall. It was more exciting than it sounds. It was also apparently a great workout. That's why English people have such famously chiseled physiques.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

It was 2012. A presidential election was on the horizon. A lot of people were very mad at the idea that someone they don't like might win and political discourse was at an all-time low because of it. Thank god that's all over, right?See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, remember Gangnam Style? The only reason I ask is because Steve is half Korean. And because this was 2012, when that song was still literally everywhere. Also, sorry we reminded you of it.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Children can be annoying sometimes. That's why you're always fighting the temptation to give em the ol' one two. That is, spanking and ice cream. But that's frowned upon in more enlightened, more lactose intolerant cultures. DISCLAIMER: Any promos, giveaways, or similar heard in Lost Episodes are no longer guaranteed to be valid. In fact, I can almost guarantee that they are not valid.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Long time listeners of Tom's might remember a simpler time when he didn't tell the Rodney Dangerfield "stick to the tumbling" joke. That all changed thanks to Jeff, and we'll never forgive him for it. That's why he hasn't been invited to any of our house parties lately. That and because apparently Tom spends a grand total of fifteen minutes actually attending them.DISCLAIMER: Any promos, giveaways, or similar heard in Lost Episodes are no longer guaranteed to be valid. In fact, I can almost guarantee that they are not valid.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hot off the tails of an episode about not smoking weed in the Netherlands, here comes an episode about yes smoking weed in America. Don't worry, though. It's medicinal. As if anyone cares now or cared back then.DISCLAIMER: Any promos, giveaways, or similar heard in Lost Episodes are no longer guaranteed to be valid. In fact, I can almost guarantee that they are not valid.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Tom Rhodes is big in the Netherlands. Not literally. You'd have to be like seven feet tall to be considered big there. But he is popular. And he knows better than to visit the Red Light District because it's bad for your honor, or whatever. I guess Dutch people are kind of like Klingons.DISCLAIMER: Any promos, giveaways, or similar heard in Lost Episodes are no longer guaranteed to be valid. In fact, I can almost guarantee that they are not valid.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Cooper Barnes is arguably most famous for playing Captain Man in the Henry Danger franchise. But before that, he was playing the role of guest on our show. He was also on In Living Color that year, so it was a great year for him. Chuck Gallagher may not be an actor, but he is a changed man. In the 90s, he made some, let's say, questionable decisions. He now spends his time motivating others to not make questionable decisions. And yet, 13 years later, we're still doing the show. Some people never learn.DISCLAIMER: Any promos, giveaways, or similar heard in Lost Episodes are no longer guaranteed to be valid. In fact, I can almost guarantee that they are not valid.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Chris is, or at least hosts, The Watchdog on Wall Street. What were the dogs watching back in 2012? The government making making money off prescriptions. Because nothing ever really changes. And speaking of nothing changing, Clayton was on for his book My Brother Ron, which is about mental illness and institutionalization. I bet you can guess what Tom talked about with him.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

It was a Monday when Robert called in about infiltrating a cartel and Dr. Rose discussed people with broken minds who do awful things. It was a heavy way to start a week. That's why I'm releasing this one on a Saturday, when the week is over. That's right, I did it on purpose. I'm definitely not just capitalizing on happenstance.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

July 5th, 2030 is going to be a day to remember. According to "the government", that's the day Tom's going to die. If you think that sounds ominous, that's because it does. But it's also most likely something Tom misread, so I wouldn't worry too much about it. What I would worry about is making time to go see Trevor tonight and tomorrow night at 8 PM at Acme. Buy a spatula while you're there.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In Boston, they tell it like it is. In Minnesota, we tell it like it isn't. Each of us guard a door, and behind one of the doors is priceless treasure. Behind the other, a violent sex offender who we sent to prison for 15 minutes. Choose wisely.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Carver county had four confirmed tornados touch down over the weekend. Everyone knew about it. Well, almost everyone. Luckily there wasn't too much damage. Not as much as Bezos did to his own reputation with his ostentatious wedding, anyway.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What's your opinion on cruises? You other love them or hate them. After today's show, you'll probably hate them. But that's okay, because there's plenty to do. Why not go watch one of the three good movies? Or listen to Ross on SKOR North? Assuming you have time after your daily listening party of our podcast, of course.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In 2019, Landen Hoffmann was thrown off the third floor balcony in the Mall of America. Kari attributes his survival to a miracle. Unsurprisingly, we talk a lot about religion the rest of the episode. Also local media, considering both Tom and Neal are local media mainstays and Kari had plenty of experiences with them.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Remember the ice bucket challenge? Well it's back. It took a while to make enough ice. Sage decided to dump a bucket of it on himself, and we've got the audio. We also discuss every TV show and movie ever made going back to the 1950s.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Martin Kove has bitten a coworker. What this means for the future of humanity, we cannot say. Probably not a lot. But let's not discount all possibilities. For example, maybe the Twins will start being good. I don't really know how those two could be connected, but I don't know how you can lose almost ten games in a row either.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The Twins suck. The weather sucks. Even the acoustics suck here. So why stay in Minnesota? How about our famous rodeos? Bob just got done with one, and the excitement aged him 20 years. Also check out our illustrious electric scooter industry. Just wear a helmet.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Once upon a time, video killed the radio star. Younger listeners might not know that in this case, "video" refers to music videos that they used to play on TV. Yeah, those are kind of gone now too. Now it's all about YouTube and podcasts. Also stand-up comedy. That's changed too, but they're still standing up and doing comedy, so at least it's familiar.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Mike Bryant is in today hot off a case of someone being molested as a child, so we talk at length about that for a while. Then J. Marie comes on to talk about Back to the Fifties. We decided not to attempt to segue the two and just let the conversation head in a more positive direction.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

If you're a musician in the 1970s, don't build your own plane and then try to fly it. Also, you probably shouldn't be using your time machine to listen to our show, but we're not going to stop you. And while you're at it, why not listen to Mischke? That's the name of the host and also of the podcast. It's not The Mischke Road Show any more. He's left the road behind him.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

You know Froot Loops? Have you ever looked at them and thought "this seems a little too colorful"? From the sound of it, kids today may be growing up without such concerns. The good news is they'll still be able to get all the nutritious anabolic steroids their bodies need to become professional wrestlers.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Two Minnesota politicians, Melissa Hortman and John Hoffman, have been shot. Melissa has died, while John's status is cautiously optimistic. Meanwhile, famous celebrities are on trial for sex trafficking, cities are on fire, and ALS cases are increasing. All in all, a great year so far.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Have you ever wanted to put AI generated versions of us in a horror movie? Try it and we'll be contacting our lawyers. That is, unless you're still around once all our content enters the public domain. Then there's nothing we can do. All we ask is that you give your movie a relatively clever name.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

One of Tom's favorite people has died. No, not Brittany. She's immortal. Brian Wilson has passed, leaving behind a music legacy and a lot of baggage. And speaking of legacies, if you've ever wanted to know how we all feel about being famous or fame-adjacent, this is your show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.