The Tom Barnard Show

What's your opinion on cruises? You other love them or hate them. After today's show, you'll probably hate them. But that's okay, because there's plenty to do. Why not go watch one of the three good movies? Or listen to Ross on SKOR North? Assuming you have time after your daily listening party of our podcast, of course.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In 2019, Landen Hoffmann was thrown off the third floor balcony in the Mall of America. Kari attributes his survival to a miracle. Unsurprisingly, we talk a lot about religion the rest of the episode. Also local media, considering both Tom and Neal are local media mainstays and Kari had plenty of experiences with them.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Remember the ice bucket challenge? Well it's back. It took a while to make enough ice. Sage decided to dump a bucket of it on himself, and we've got the audio. We also discuss every TV show and movie ever made going back to the 1950s.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Martin Kove has bitten a coworker. What this means for the future of humanity, we cannot say. Probably not a lot. But let's not discount all possibilities. For example, maybe the Twins will start being good. I don't really know how those two could be connected, but I don't know how you can lose almost ten games in a row either.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The Twins suck. The weather sucks. Even the acoustics suck here. So why stay in Minnesota? How about our famous rodeos? Bob just got done with one, and the excitement aged him 20 years. Also check out our illustrious electric scooter industry. Just wear a helmet.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Once upon a time, video killed the radio star. Younger listeners might not know that in this case, "video" refers to music videos that they used to play on TV. Yeah, those are kind of gone now too. Now it's all about YouTube and podcasts. Also stand-up comedy. That's changed too, but they're still standing up and doing comedy, so at least it's familiar.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Mike Bryant is in today hot off a case of someone being molested as a child, so we talk at length about that for a while. Then J. Marie comes on to talk about Back to the Fifties. We decided not to attempt to segue the two and just let the conversation head in a more positive direction.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

If you're a musician in the 1970s, don't build your own plane and then try to fly it. Also, you probably shouldn't be using your time machine to listen to our show, but we're not going to stop you. And while you're at it, why not listen to Mischke? That's the name of the host and also of the podcast. It's not The Mischke Road Show any more. He's left the road behind him.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

You know Froot Loops? Have you ever looked at them and thought "this seems a little too colorful"? From the sound of it, kids today may be growing up without such concerns. The good news is they'll still be able to get all the nutritious anabolic steroids their bodies need to become professional wrestlers.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Two Minnesota politicians, Melissa Hortman and John Hoffman, have been shot. Melissa has died, while John's status is cautiously optimistic. Meanwhile, famous celebrities are on trial for sex trafficking, cities are on fire, and ALS cases are increasing. All in all, a great year so far.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Have you ever wanted to put AI generated versions of us in a horror movie? Try it and we'll be contacting our lawyers. That is, unless you're still around once all our content enters the public domain. Then there's nothing we can do. All we ask is that you give your movie a relatively clever name.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

One of Tom's favorite people has died. No, not Brittany. She's immortal. Brian Wilson has passed, leaving behind a music legacy and a lot of baggage. And speaking of legacies, if you've ever wanted to know how we all feel about being famous or fame-adjacent, this is your show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Today, we got into the studio and discovered the internet was broken. Then it came back, but our computer was broken. Then we fixed that, but by then we were fed up with the modern era so we decided to go back to 1960s Minneapolis for a while. It also sucked, but it sucked in a different way. A change of pace is always nice.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What's the difference between a protest and a riot? Whether or not you agree with the people doing the protesting or rioting. Well, depending on who you ask, LA is currently experiencing either the apocalypse or a polite discussion over tea. So basically, business as usual.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Google is slow. Bob can't get into Streamyard, and his 1980s computer equipment is on the fritz. Tom's camera is turning itself off. Makes you feel like you're in the Twilight Zone. But not all is lost: the Tony awards were apparently surprisingly watchable. You know, if you actually like broadway theater.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Have you ever noticed that a lot of celebrities actually look kind of weird? Big heads, big noses, big mouths. The camera might add ten pounds, but apparently it also subtracts a hat size or two. Now there's something that will actually shrink your head.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Remember when we had Bill on our show back in 2020? Well, technically it was Car Selling Secrets, but who's counting. You may recall he also started a podcast shortly after that ran for about a year. He's back, it's back, and we're ready to start releasing new episodes in about a month. Until then, you'll have to settle for this show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

We've known Dave for a long time. We've known Cassie, his wife, even longer. And as it turns out, ten years is a long time. We just found out recently. But not everything changes despite the passage of time, at least not right away: Dave is still out there hunting ghosts, we're still doing our podcast, and people are still greedy.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Ever been in a 50 lane traffic jam? How about stuck in your car for 5 days? No? That must make you proud to be an American. Or anything but someone from Hong Kong, really. Maybe you're a little less proud lately what with all the smoke in the air, but at least we live in the future where we have personal air purifiers. The Jetsons would be jealous.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Bob's got some big news to share today: the Twins suck. Well, and one other thing. It's not as big of a deal as Tudum, but you do get to take home something other than a shirt and a bag.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

You know how the Lowry tunnel is a major slowdown on a good day? Have you ever wondered how slow it would be if a semi truck wrapped itself around the divider wall? Wonder no more! Simply visit today and see for yourself. Then when you're done, why not visit Tommy at Laugh Camp tonight and tomorrow? Go see both to make sure you don't miss anything.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

You know what's bad? People who take what isn't theirs. You know, scammers, fraudsters, hoodwinkers, gleepsters. I may have made that last one up. What's even worse though is having to drive your own car. Think of how much you could get done during your daily commute. Not that we as Minnesotans ever have any chance of that happening, but we're very happy for Texas in a passive aggressive way.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Remember almost ten years ago when Tyson was on talking about his new business, the Skaalvenn Distillery? It's still going strong despite all that's happened since then. Unfortunately, he also urgently needs a double lung transplant. Odds are he's gonna get one, but it's still not what you want to be doing with your free time.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The Lilo and Stitch remake beat Mission Impossible. Is it because it was just that great, or because after thirty years and eight movies we're a bit sick of Ethan Hunt? According to a few of our listeners, it's both. And speaking of being sick of things for decades, we've been sick of Minnesota sports since the Twins last won the world series in the 14th century.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Never mind. I found a good Memorial Day episode. And by "I", I mean it definitely wasn't Louisville Joe who came up with the idea and found the episode number for me. Nope, all me. Anyway, Tig, Oz, and Tanto were all present at the attacks in Benghazi in 2012. Can't get much more military than that. Surprisingly, for people who recently saw direct combat, they're fairly upbeat.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

It's Memorial Day, which means we're too busy remembering to do a show. I tried to find an old episode where we interviewed someone military-related, but I came up blank, so instead how about one where we talk about that one time we interviewed someone military-related? It's like remembering twice.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Things change. Comedy changes. People were doing stand up on Zoom just a few years ago. Nobody could have predicted that. So how will it continue to change? Ask again later. Ideally 5 or 10 years later.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Have you got the basketball jones? Sage certainly does. Mike, less so, but he's still probably the #2 fan in the room. We don't know Liz's basketball status, but we do know her news status, and that status is Alpha. I mean Alpha News, not like an alpha in the way the manosphere uses it. Although she might be able to outlift you. We'll never know.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Sometimes life can be hard. The internet goes out. Your steak isn't done to your exacting specifications. Those kids in the park are being slightly too loud. And then of course there's veterans who died and can't get a proper military funeral because nobody shows up, but those people don't complain on TikTok so that problem largely goes unnoticed. That's why Gary joined Bugles Across America. That and because bugle is just a fun word to say.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Steroids are a relatively recent thing. So is being a gigantic mass of muscles who can tear a steel beam in half. That's probably a coincidence though. What's not a coincidence is that Minnesota made the questionable decision to build a roofless stadium and now games are getting cancelled all the time. If only we had discovered meteorology prior to 2010.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Tom and Kathryn are back after their trip across the country. During their travels they passed by a Buc-ee's. Apparently that's a big deal. Up here we're happy with Kwik Trip. Although you won't be getting any furniture or paintings there.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Did you know that Kristyn witnessed a murder? Well, okay, she didn't actually witness a murder, but she witnessed guys who committed murder. That's pretty close. And now here we are witnessing her retelling the story. It's like we were there.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

If you're Minnesotan, odds are relatively high that you've known someone who's been in Stillwater prison at some point. The sentimental types among you may be saddened to hear that said prison is being phased out. It happens to everyone's favorite hangouts eventually.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Being a college athlete used to be so simple. You threw a ball around, you got a free ride scholarship, and the teachers took your tests for you. Now you've got all this financial red tape. NIL, NCAA, compensation, association, legislation. That's why none of us ever became multi-millionaire athletes. That, and for no other reason.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This isn't an episode of the podcast. It's a PSA for people having trouble with the new app update. But it still counts as content, right?See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The P Diddy testimony has begun pouring in. Apparently it's not pleasant. "Sex, drugs, and rock n' roll" isn't seen in the favorable light it used to be, especially when it's coerced. If you're not into hearing about gross people being gross, why not watch a movie about a kitty cat? It's got Derek and Kristyn's seal of approval.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

They say that meeting celebrities is the real stuff we all get. Well, okay, nobody actually says that, but it'll have to do. Also, if you're looking for some bizarre British movies and TV shows, apparently Tom and Kathryn have you covered.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Well, Shelby called it. We've got our first White Sox pope. Maybe. He's from Chicago, so it depends on if he has good taste or not. Whether the White Sox count as "or not", I will not say.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Walter is a Minnesota state rep, which means he's seen it all. Most of what he's seen has been dysfunctional to some extent. But you know what's a well-oiled machine? The cardinals over in Rome. We've already got a new pope, although as of writing this we don't know who yet. I bet you can guess what tomorrow's topic will be.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

There's going to be a new pope today, maybe. As I write this, the election has begun. But that's not the biggest thing happening today. That would be the return of Don Shelby. Hear what he's been up to, what his thoughts are on the metamorphosis of journalism over the ages, and perhaps even a vaunted GFY. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

There's going to be a new pope today, maybe. As I write this, the election has begun. But that's not the biggest thing happening today. That would be the return of Don Shelby. Hear what he's been up to, what his thoughts are on the metamorphosis of journalism over the ages, and perhaps even a vaunted GFY.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Apparently even nicer parts of town aren't immune to mentally ill and/or drug addicted people causing problems. But that's not the only kind of thing you're about to see a lot more of. The Minnesota supreme court has decreed that women can go topless wherever they want, which means you'll see about two weeks of women going overboard with it before they all get bored and wear shirts again. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices