Two Guys Talking About Lettuce

We also talk mismatched hats, bar soap hair routines, swamp crotch of course, Superman time travel logic, insider trading for kids, and one very sincere apology for misusing the phrase “mamby-pamby.”They also dive into Talking Heads fandom, Eric Clapton's many sins, the economics of the 99 Cent Store, and how to tell if your hat is racist.Also, someone's child may or may not be arrested for financial crimes.Want to know how many aspirin to take when your head falls off? You're in the right place.All your feeds here https://anchor.fm/lettuceguysPatreon here http://patreon.com/twoguystalkingaboutlettuce

We answer your many, many letters about how to get free brain surgery (step one: open your own head). We answer your many, many letters about how to get free brain surgery (step one: open your own head). Along the way, we uncover Greg's illegal prank mug empire, argue about God's cleanliness, have a drippy Patreon time, and reveal why Home Depot, surprisingly, might be the worst place for a lobotomy.Also: we try to figure out what “vim” is, we roast Hollywood accountants, and Craig performs impeccable sound effects (including a toaster).Get episodes early and here the Patreon-only bonus section here: patreon.com/twoguystalkingaboutlettuce

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Obviously, if you've been a long time listener you know this will be solid advice.Patreon here http://patreon.com/twoguystalkingaboutlettuce

Don't read this description if you can't read the description about reading the description.

Greg is the most friend-makingest man around.

Hey, Lettuceheads!

For real. He does.

AKA, Ripe for a RebootAlso, everything you ever wanted to know about Highlander.

It's so EASY! Think about it. That's why almost everyone you know is a millionaire.

Unless it does.

Uh oh. It's another one of those unhinged post-Bad Movies Live episodes.

Because George Foreman ain't just the inventor of the grill.

Can you tell who titled this?

Listen to Greg. These are instructions more people should ACTUALLY follow.

yeah, it's what you think it is. (if you think it's boobs)

Or a cold lamp sore. But we don't talk about that. That should be obvious.

The first time we ever said "rear end"! (we think)

And during your listen of this episode!

You won't believe number 7!

Finally, our true feelings come out.

Finally, we'll get to the bottom of this.Featuring special guest, Yeshmin Blechin!

Finally some useful advice

What better way to spend the entire holiday than to listen to Greg and Brian Benben! (You will have to listen to this episode over and over again to fill up the whole holiday. your choice, but really, you should.) --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/lettuceguys/support

Greg really bringing the social wisdom once again. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/lettuceguys/support

Here's a little preview: David's on the list. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/lettuceguys/support

Presidential history is important. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/lettuceguys/support

Finally talking about what you are all subscribed for... hard hitting political politics. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/lettuceguys/support

Insert hilarious description here --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/lettuceguys/support

It's really not that hard to join a cult, you guys. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/lettuceguys/support

Two men walk into a Denny's... --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/lettuceguys/support

Greg invaded Craig's house for this one. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/lettuceguys/support

Craig will be joining shortly, unfortunately. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/lettuceguys/support

Get ready for some specificity! --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/lettuceguys/support

And at the beginning Greg talks like a normal person. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/lettuceguys/support

WARNING: This episode has trivia! --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/lettuceguys/support

That's DEFINITELY Craig's face at the beginning. DEFINITELY! --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/lettuceguys/support

This episode is DEFINITELY introduced by Greg Benson. DEFINITELY! --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/lettuceguys/support

We make food for you to eat! --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/lettuceguys/support

In which Greg reveals he's never listened to a podcast. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/lettuceguys/support

FINALLY some useful information! --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/lettuceguys/support

On a walk through the neighborhood, Greg tells a horrifying tale of youthful idiocy. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/lettuceguys/support

Unfortunately, Craig will not make it today. :( --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/lettuceguys/support

Word of the day: "tahini" -- Will Craig say it? --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/lettuceguys/support

It's time for Lettuce 101. A new class in which you learn things! --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/lettuceguys/support

I can't believe we're still doing this. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/lettuceguys/support

and 1 way to cure your heart... (by listening to this episode and all our episodes) --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/lettuceguys/support

either that or they won't. One of those two. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/lettuceguys/support

Greg knows everything, doesn't he? --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/lettuceguys/support

It really happened, in a way --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/lettuceguys/support

It's time for Two Guys Talking About Ladies! --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/lettuceguys/support