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Poem in today's talk written by Czeslaw Milosz
Heartbreak ~ written in the ER The dull sickening pressure Is what got my attention. A racing heart, Stumbling over itself Is a more familiar alert. But this blunt sensation Was something new, Relentless and swelling, Like water and dry earth Mingling and churning As in a flash flood Finding its way slowly, Inexorably, Blindly searching out the low places By feel. Nothing stopping it's steady movement. And nothing did On that day. This intensity, not familiar pain, Invaded the muscles of my chest Stiffened with anticipation. Slipping silently between the ribs Of my caged heart and lungs. Pushing rudely up into my throat Without asking permission Flooding both jaws With a strong, strange sensation That signaled something wrong. The pushy entitlement of fear Taking over without concern Or consent. It was my heart that was Captured and confused By this wild rouge energy. Not by the eyes I couldn't Turn away from in the beginning, And still can't. Not the warm young body I sought and never left As both our bodies Transformed into something More settled and real. Not by the steadfast will And stubborn Insistence I encountered saying This was what mattered. No, I had been captured by That unexpected love Years before. Confused by its earthy and Ordinary magnificence. Irresistible and terrifying. And now it was breaking. Not the love. But my heart. A dull sickening pressure Pushing me To the edge of the bed, Over the precipice in the dark. Nothing cruel or personal, Just inevitable. This precious breaking The final vow The final bow To you.
2025-07-07 | Depth In Practice | Vimalakirti Sutra by Appamada
Prompts for contemplation / discussion during this talk: 1) Is your zazen practice supported by dedication, intension, and time? 2) What hinders your zazen practice? 3) How can we support each other in our practice of zazen? 4) Any other thoughts about zazen practice?
Link to Sunni (Sun) Brown on Substack https://nothingintheway.substack.com Deep Hope https://substack.com/home/post/p-165652333
2025-06-30 | Depth In Practice | Vimalakirti Sutra by Appamada
2025-06-29 | Dharma Talk | The Brahmavihārās | Ellen Hippard by Appamada
The links Josh mentions RAM DASS ON HIS MANTRA “I AM LOVING AWARENESS” (WITH PRACTICE VIDEO) https://www.ramdass.org/loving-awareness/ The London Walker https://thelondonwalker.com In the midst of life I woke to find myself living in an old house beside Brick Lane in the East End of London https://spitalfieldslife.com
2025-06-23 | Depth In Pracitce |Vimalakirti Sutra by Appamada
2025-06-16 I Inquiry I Practice supports Becoming Yourself I Suzanne Kilkus by Appamada
2025-06-16 | Depth In Practice | Vimalakirti Sutra by Appamada
2025 07 15 | Dharma Talk | Way Seeking Mind | Sarah Webb by Appamada
2025-06-10 I Inquiry I Suzuki Roshi's “Swinging Door” I Joel Barna by Appamada
2025-06-09 | Depth In Practice | Vamalakirti Sutra by Appamada
2025-07-08 | Dharma Talk | Living the Paramitas in Troubled Times | Ellen Hippard by Appamada
2025-06-03 I Inquiry I Why Practice? I Joel Barna by Appamada
2025-06-02 | Depth In Practice | Vimalakirti Sutra by Appamada
2025-06-01 | Head Student Exit Ceremony | Jess by Appamada
2025-05-27 I Inquiry I When fear meets cluelessness surrounded by beauty.. I Trudy Johnston by Appamada
2025 05 10 | Introduction to Zen | Jess Ambiee | Class 3 by Appamada
2025-05-25 | Dharma Talk | Maylie Scott Meets Loneliness | Joel Barna by Appamada
2025-05-20 I Inquiry I Presence Within Absence I Josh Gifford by Appamada
2025-05-19 | Depth In Practice | Vimalakirti Sutra by Appamada
2025-05-18 | Dharma Talk | Vow and Joy | Jess, Liya and Darcy by Appamada
2025-05-13 I Inquiry I Reflections on Cause and Effect Part 2 I Joel Barna by Appamada
2025-05-10- Introduction to Zen -Jess Ambiee -Class 2 by Appamada
2025-05-11 | Way-Seeking Mind Talk | Lesley Bradstreet by Appamada
2025-05-10 | Introduction to Zen | Jess Ambiee | Class 1 by Appamada
2025-05-06 I Inquiry I Reflections on Cause and Effect I Joel Barna by Appamada
2025-05-04 | Dharma Talk | The Wholehearted Way | Sandra Medina Bocangel by Appamada
2025-04-29 I Inquiry I A Responsibility to Awe I Joel Barna by Appamada
2025-04-27 | Dharma Talk | oy and Practice | Jess by Appamada
2025-04-22 I I Inquiry I Joel Barna by Appamada
2025-04-21 Depth In Practice | Not Two: The Appamada Story | Peg Syverson by Appamada
2025-04-20 | Dharma Talk | Genjokoan | Joel Barna by Appamada
2025-04-15 I Inquiry I Going Gently I Flint Sparks by Appamada
2025-04-14 | Depth In Practice | Not Two: The Appamada Story | Peg Syverson by Appamada
2025-04-13 | Dharma Talk | Your Body is Not a Thing, and It's Not Yours, Either | Nate Smalley by Appamada
2025-04-08 I Inquiry I The Shape of Buddha's Mind I Flint Sparks by Appamada
2025-04-01 I Inquiry I wonder smitten with reality I Suzanne Kilkus by Appamada
2025-04-07 | Dharma Talk | Mistakes and Repair: Hard Lessons from A Momentary Distraction | Rosemarie Gates by Appamada
2025-03-31 | Depth In Practice | Not Two: The Appamada Story | Peg Syverson by Appamada
2025-03-30 | Dharma Talk | Being Led By Vow, Not Pulled By Karma | Jess by Appamada
2025-03--25 I Inquiry I The Impossible Hour I Flint Sparks by Appamada
2025-03-23 | Dharma Talk | Chanting as the Merging of Difference & Unity | Ann Lipscomb by Appamada
2025-03-18 I Inquiry I Behind All This Some Great Happiness is Hiding I Josh Gifford by Appamada
2025-03-17 | Depth In Practice | Not Two: The Appamada Story | Peg Syverson by Appamada
2025-03-16 | Head Student Entering Ceremony | Jess by Appamada
2025-03-16 | Dharma Talk | The Skandhas | Joel Barna by Appamada
Portions of the recording containing visuals without audio have been removed for conciseness
2025-03-14 | Integrated Intensive | Dharma reflection | Jan D. by Appamada