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2025-08-25 | Depth In Practice | Vimalakirti Sutra by Appamada
Some readings referenced in this talk can be found in the Appamada chant book: https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5c03ced75ffd204418037b7a/t/5c523209898583e0ceeb37bd/1548890634577/Appamada+Chant+Book.pdf
three poems referenced : You Reading This be ready ~ William Stafford Starting here, what do you want to remember? How sunlight creeps along a shining floor? What scent of old wood hovers, what softened sound from outside fills the air? Will you ever bring a better gift for the world than the breathing respect that you carry wherever you go right now? Are you waiting for time to show you some better thoughts? When you turn around, starting here, lift this new glimpse that you found; carry into evening all that you want from this day. This interval you spent reading or hearing this, keep it for life – What can anyone give you greater than now, starting here, right in this room, when you turn around? Shoulders ~ Naomi Shihab Nye A man crosses the street in rain, stepping gently, looking two times north and south, because his son is asleep on his shoulder. No car must splash him. No car drive too near to his shadow. This man carries the world's most sensitive cargo but he's not marked. Nowhere does his jacket say FRAGILE, HANDLE WITH CARE. His ear fills up with breathing. He hears the hum of a boy's dream deep inside him. We're not going to be able to live in this world if we're not willing to do what he's doing with one another. The road will only be wide. The rain will never stop falling. Praying ~Mary Oliver It doesn't have to be the blue iris, it could be weeds in a vacant lot, or a few small stones; just pay attention, then patch a few words together and don't try to make them elaborate, this isn't a contest but the doorway into thanks, and a silence in which another voice may speak.
2025-08-18 | Depth In Practice | Vimalakirti Sutra by Appamada
2025-08-17 | Dharma Talk | The Sutra that Explains the Profound Secret: The Third Turning of the Wheel of Dharma | Ellen Hippard by Appamada
“The Maples” ~ Marie Howe I asked the stand of maples behind the house, How should I live my life? They said, shhh shhh shhh . . . How should I live, I asked, and the leaves seemed to ripple and gleam. A bird called from a branch in its own tongue, And from a branch, across the yard, another bird answered. A squirrel scrambled up a trunk then along the length of a branch. Stand still, I thought, See how long you can bear that. Try to stand still, if only for a few moments, drinking light breathing Tricycle, July 23, 2025 Atlantis: 3. Michael's Dream Dreamed c. 1993 by Michael; written by Mark Doty Michael writes to tell me his dream: I was helping Randy out of bed, supporting him on one side with another friend on the other, and as we stood him up, he stepped out of the body I was holding and became a shining body, brilliant light held in the form I first knew him in. This is what I imagine will happen, the spirit's release. Michael, when we support our friends, one of us on either side, our arms under the man or woman's arms, what is it we're holding? Vessel , shadow, hurrying light? All those years I made love to a man without thinking how little his body had to do with me; now, diminished, he's never been so plainly himself—remote and unguarded, an otherness I can't know the first thing about. I said, You need to drink more water or you're going to turn into an old dry leaf. And he said, Maybe I want to be an old leaf In the dream Randy's leaping into the future, and still here; Michael's holding him and releasing at once. Just as Steve's holding Jerry, though he's already gone, Marie holding John, gone, Maggie holding her John, gone, Carlos and Darren holding another Michael, gone, and I'm holding Wally, who's going. Where isn't the question, though we think it is; we don't even know where the living are, in this raddled and unraveling "here." What is the body? Rain on a window, a clear movement over whose gaze? Husk, leaf, little boat of paper and wood to mark the speed of the stream? Randy and Jerry, Michael and Wally and John: lucky we don't have to know what something is in order to hold it.
2025-08-11 | Depth In Practice | Vimalakirti Sutra by Appamada
2025-08-10 | Dharma talk | This Is The Way—Everyday Life | Sandra Medina Bocangel by Appamada
Dharma talk and activity sharing
"A Ceremony for the Encouragement of Zazen" talk and discussion
Sunday Morning Dharma Talk | Somatic Mindfulness | Jess by Appamada
Breathing activity and discussion
Closing circle discussion, group photos, endless bow, refuges
Orientation, Introductions, Kinhin explanation, begin Zazen
Could It Happen Anywhere? Listen to the rhythm of things that never die. —Mark Nepo, “For a Long Time” Worried about what was to come, I went to the river and listened to the constant song as water met stone, met log, met wall. The endless white hush of it. Song of building up banks. Song of tearing them down. Song of surrender to invisible force. Song of change that is ever the same and not the same. And in the listening, I found refuge—not in the longing to hide, not in the sound— I found refuge in the listening. Refuge in the opening of the senses. In attuning to what is here. Wave and current and eddy and flow and the attentiveness that lives through this woman. And I listened and listened, listened to it all, and was opened by listening. At some point the listener disappeared. What was left was listening itself. For a time, peace found me there. Intention To wonder. To wonder with no plan for where it might lead. No strategy for arrival. No finish line. No pot of gold. No perfect score. No striving for. To wonder. To wonder the way a small child might wonder when seeing a roly poly for the first time— oh, look at all those legs. Look at how it curls! Look how it moves again. Feel how light it is in the palm. Feel how it tickles as it moves. Imagine an awareness that new meeting a life form that old. Can I be that new as I meet this infinite world? To wonder not just with my mind but with my belly. To let every neuron spark. To notice where there is a channel and imagine the great wing of life is scraping it clean so the stream might flow in new ways. To wonder beyond the edge of the known, and in that spaciousness, play. —Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer The listing of Chat GPT response to brutal truths: Here are five core truths about your own psychology that everyone must understand—or risk sabotaging their success, happiness, or relationships: ⸻ 1. You are not your thoughts. Your mind generates a constant stream of thoughts—some true, some false, some helpful, many harmful. If you believe every thought, especially negative self-talk, you'll: • sabotage goals, • erode self-esteem, • and avoid taking necessary risks. ✅ Learn to observe thoughts without obeying them. This is the root of emotional resilience. ⸻ 2. Your emotions are messengers, not dictators. Feelings like anger, fear, jealousy, or sadness carry signals—but they don't always point to truth or demand action. Avoiding or overreacting to emotions leads to: • impulsive decisions, • emotional burnout, • or constant anxiety. ✅ Name your emotions, listen to them, and respond—don't react blindly. ⸻ 3. You have unconscious patterns driving your behavior. Much of your personality and decision-making is shaped by: • childhood experiences, • unresolved trauma, • or defense mechanisms. Ignoring these patterns means you repeat them—even when they hurt you or others. ✅ Self-awareness requires digging into your past, habits, and triggers with honesty. ⸻ 4. Your brain is wired for comfort, not growth. Your mind naturally resists discomfort, uncertainty, or change—even when it's what you need. This resistance: • kills dreams, • prevents growth, • and reinforces stagnation. ✅ Discomfort is a sign you're on the edge of transformation. Don't run from it. ⸻ 5. You are responsible for your reactions—even when others hurt you. Blaming others or circumstances for how you feel or behave keeps you powerless. Psychological maturity means: • owning your choices, • setting boundaries, • and healing, not blaming. ✅ Victimhood might be justified, but it won't help you thrive. ⸻ Bottom Line: Mastering your psychology is not optional—it's the difference between drifting through life and designing it. If you don't do the work, your patterns will run you, and you'll wonder why life keeps turning out the same.
2025-08-04 | Depth In Practice | Vimalakirti Sutra by Appamada
Here is the poem by Hilda Raz, reflecting on a time when she was the poet laureate of Nebraska and did some teaching about poetry in public schools. I hope you will search out her book "Letter from a Place I Have Never Been." Diction ~ Hilda Raz "God is in the details," I tell the kids in the public school at Milligan, Nebraska. They wonder what I mean. I tell them to look out the window at the spring fields the mud coming up just to the knee of the small pig in the far pasture. They tell me it's not a knee but a hock and I hadn't ought to say things I know nothing about. I say the light on the mud is pure chalcedony. They say the mud killed two cows over the weekend. I tell them the pig is alive and the spring trees are standing in a green haze. The tell me school is out in a week and they have to plant. The grain elevator at the end of Main Street stretches out her blue arms. The kids say chutes.
2025-07-28 | Depth In Practice | Vimalakirti Sutra by Appamada
Genjokoan can be found on page 34 of the Appamada chant book here: https://appamada.org/s/Appamada-Chant-Book.pdf. Guided meditation adapted from Henry Shukman's book, "Original Love."
2025-07-21 | Depth In Practice | Vimalakirti Sutra by Appamada
2025-07-14 | Depth In Practice | Vimalakirti Sutra by Appamada
Thanks By W. S. MERWIN Listen with the night falling we are saying thank you we are stopping on the bridges to bow from the railings we are running out of the glass rooms with our mouths full of food to look at the sky and say thank you we are standing by the water thanking it standing by the windows looking out in our directions back from a series of hospitals back from a mugging after funerals we are saying thank you after the news of the dead whether or not we knew them we are saying thank you over telephones we are saying thank you in doorways and in the backs of cars and in elevators remembering wars and the police at the door and the beatings on stairs we are saying thank you in the banks we are saying thank you in the faces of the officials and the rich and of all who will never change we go on saying thank you thank you with the animals dying around us taking our feelings we are saying thank you with the forests falling faster than the minutes of our lives we are saying thank you with the words going out like cells of a brain with the cities growing over us we are saying thank you faster and faster with nobody listening we are saying thank you thank you we are saying and waving dark though it is "Just to be clear I don't want to get out without a broken heart. I intend to leave this life so shattered there's gonna have to be a thousand separate heavens for all of my flying parts." – Andrea Gibson Still The Waters run deep The stag patiently waits, perhaps a lifetime, this lifetime. steadfast he watches, Studies this floating world, steps forward The first of his kind Knowing he will Kick up a speck of dust Dips his head drinks the clear dark water his tines swirl Fugitive patterns Into the flowing river And the moon trembles Turning He disappears Trudy Johnston
2025-07-20 | Dharma Talk | Acceptance | Jess by Appamada
2025-07-15 I Inquiry I Aspirations for your daily journey I Suzanne Kilkus by Appamada
Poem in today's talk written by Czeslaw Milosz
Heartbreak ~ written in the ER The dull sickening pressure Is what got my attention. A racing heart, Stumbling over itself Is a more familiar alert. But this blunt sensation Was something new, Relentless and swelling, Like water and dry earth Mingling and churning As in a flash flood Finding its way slowly, Inexorably, Blindly searching out the low places By feel. Nothing stopping it's steady movement. And nothing did On that day. This intensity, not familiar pain, Invaded the muscles of my chest Stiffened with anticipation. Slipping silently between the ribs Of my caged heart and lungs. Pushing rudely up into my throat Without asking permission Flooding both jaws With a strong, strange sensation That signaled something wrong. The pushy entitlement of fear Taking over without concern Or consent. It was my heart that was Captured and confused By this wild rouge energy. Not by the eyes I couldn't Turn away from in the beginning, And still can't. Not the warm young body I sought and never left As both our bodies Transformed into something More settled and real. Not by the steadfast will And stubborn Insistence I encountered saying This was what mattered. No, I had been captured by That unexpected love Years before. Confused by its earthy and Ordinary magnificence. Irresistible and terrifying. And now it was breaking. Not the love. But my heart. A dull sickening pressure Pushing me To the edge of the bed, Over the precipice in the dark. Nothing cruel or personal, Just inevitable. This precious breaking The final vow The final bow To you.
2025-07-07 | Depth In Practice | Vimalakirti Sutra by Appamada
Prompts for contemplation / discussion during this talk: 1) Is your zazen practice supported by dedication, intension, and time? 2) What hinders your zazen practice? 3) How can we support each other in our practice of zazen? 4) Any other thoughts about zazen practice?
Link to Sunni (Sun) Brown on Substack https://nothingintheway.substack.com Deep Hope https://substack.com/home/post/p-165652333
2025-06-30 | Depth In Practice | Vimalakirti Sutra by Appamada
2025-06-29 | Dharma Talk | The Brahmavihārās | Ellen Hippard by Appamada
The links Josh mentions RAM DASS ON HIS MANTRA “I AM LOVING AWARENESS” (WITH PRACTICE VIDEO) https://www.ramdass.org/loving-awareness/ The London Walker https://thelondonwalker.com In the midst of life I woke to find myself living in an old house beside Brick Lane in the East End of London https://spitalfieldslife.com
2025-06-23 | Depth In Pracitce |Vimalakirti Sutra by Appamada
2025-06-16 I Inquiry I Practice supports Becoming Yourself I Suzanne Kilkus by Appamada
2025-06-16 | Depth In Practice | Vimalakirti Sutra by Appamada
2025 07 15 | Dharma Talk | Way Seeking Mind | Sarah Webb by Appamada
2025-06-10 I Inquiry I Suzuki Roshi's “Swinging Door” I Joel Barna by Appamada
2025-06-09 | Depth In Practice | Vamalakirti Sutra by Appamada
2025-07-08 | Dharma Talk | Living the Paramitas in Troubled Times | Ellen Hippard by Appamada
2025-06-03 I Inquiry I Why Practice? I Joel Barna by Appamada
2025-06-02 | Depth In Practice | Vimalakirti Sutra by Appamada
2025-06-01 | Head Student Exit Ceremony | Jess by Appamada
2025-05-27 I Inquiry I When fear meets cluelessness surrounded by beauty.. I Trudy Johnston by Appamada
2025 05 10 | Introduction to Zen | Jess Ambiee | Class 3 by Appamada
2025-05-25 | Dharma Talk | Maylie Scott Meets Loneliness | Joel Barna by Appamada
2025-05-20 I Inquiry I Presence Within Absence I Josh Gifford by Appamada
2025-05-19 | Depth In Practice | Vimalakirti Sutra by Appamada
2025-05-18 | Dharma Talk | Vow and Joy | Jess, Liya and Darcy by Appamada
2025-05-13 I Inquiry I Reflections on Cause and Effect Part 2 I Joel Barna by Appamada
2025-05-10- Introduction to Zen -Jess Ambiee -Class 2 by Appamada
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