Best of the Worst

~~This is the last episode of season 2! Thanks for listening!~~ Why not name your budding team of criminals after a fast food franchise?  Madam McEvil was a techno monk martial artist who could move things with her mind, so she could probably name it whatever she wanted. Together with Angar the Screamer, living LSD factory, Ramrod...a guy who rams into things, and the Dark Messiah, a street-performer-turned-cult-leader, they...were not scary at all and were defeated almost immediately. Check out the (not-so-)terrible trio at https://villains.lol/madam-mcevil/

If you take anything away from this episode, please know just how much Wonder Woman, one of DC's flagship characters, loooooooooves global warming. Want to see more? https://villains.lol/prime-minister-blizzard/

"Kree-Nal, Sea Circe from Space" might be somehow the most self-evident and yet most confusing name we've ever talked about on this podcast. Cat Girl is neither a cat nor a girl. They're both enemies of the Jaguar, a man with powers completely unrelated to a Jaguar who's not an actual jaguar but also sometimes is. It's a weird one. Ralph Hardy being, apparenly, irresistible and Christopher Reeve being an amazing actor: https://villains.lol/cat-girl-and-kree-nal/

With little more than several fireworks strapped to his body and a whole lot of confidence, Skyrocket - the man who uses fireworks to do supercrime - is making it work. Check out skyrocket and that snitch, Riddler at https://villains.lol/skyrocket/  

The Puzzler's greatest nemesis wasn't the superpowered pharmacist who dresses like Superman if Superman was really into wearing a ton of leather. It was the Puzzler's weak ankles. Check out the Puzzler and the Terror Twins: https://villains.lol/the-puzzler/  

The big gang is a gang that's big that also only steals big things and fights the world's smallest hero. See what they did there? That's it. That's the joke. Want to see a bunch of grownups in spandex stealing giant items that are basically worthless? https://villains.lol/the-big-gang/  

Asbestos Lady is a good example of why, when it comes to supercrime, you need to do more than drape yourself in asbestos fabric (and also absolutely not drape yourself in asbestos). https://villains.lol/asbestos-lady/ for more of that asbestos content you crave.

The Crane answers the age-old question: what if Inspector Gadget was a Nazi spy with a giant mechanical T-Rex? Pictures! Text! Cringy headers! https://villains.lol/the-crane/  

Jasper Rasper hates Christmas and is on a quest to destroy his hated enemy: Santa Claus. This looks like a job for Superman. Yes, really. This is Superman canon. See CrossFit Santa: https://villains.lol/jasper-rasper/  

Baron Blood is a villain that checks all the boxes...if your problematic and troubling list includes an out of touch rich guy who dresses up like a bat and is also a vampire Nazi. Bleh! Check out the weirdness that is pictures of Baron Blood: https://villains.lol/baron-blood/  

Like if you get taken by a giant eagle to his mountain home you become a superhero, if you have a single diseased hand you do some supercrime. Both of those things happen in this episode. Sources! Pictures! Writing! Check it out: https://villains.lol/the-black-hand/  

What happens when a regular tiger shark's brain is hit with way too much radiation: we get a look at our future as bald, super-powered speedo-ed humanoids. Check out the show post (with pictures!) https://villains.lol/the-shark/  

Why locking your kid in a lead capsule the moment they're born is a bad idea. Even if they are just a misshapen lump of radioactive materials. Want to read this? See some pictures? https://villains.lol/nuklo/  

The year is 1982. The third world war has left the world in shambles. Tyranny has won with the Mongol Empire pulling the best sneak attack in history after lying low for 600 years. There are little green men living on Uranus. There's a lot going on. Bloor, the dictator of Uranus, first appeared in Prize Comics #6. Want to read this? See some pictures? https://villains.lol/bloor/ -- Check out https://segway.segue/best for $500 off your first month of the Segway Segue!  

How one man's obsession and resolve can strike fear in the hearts of countless individuals...and also there's Joe Coyne, the Penny Plunderer. We learn that you can make a vow and have an obsession, but when that vow is to do penny-themed supercrime...it might not be as scary as you hoped. Check out the post! https://villains.lol/penny-plunderer/  

How your dad jumping around JFK airport in a frog suit in the 1960s can lead to you joining the Avengers. It's the tale of Leap-Frog/Frog-Man. Leap-Frog first appeared in Daredevil #25. Want to read this and see some pictures?? https://villains.lol/leap-frog/  

The Black Tarantula, Count Rorret, figured out a loophole so that he could live forever doing evil. He can make giant fire monsters, kill people and bring them back to life as thralls, and transform enemies to puppies. But, he has one weakness: an empty potato sack. The post on the site: https://villains.lol/black-tarantula/

Ding-Dong Daddy is just a local goateed* cool dude who gives high school dropouts the opportunities they need to succeed, gives back to his community, and straps miniguns to ice cream trucks to help supervillains do more crime. Ding-Dong Daddy first appeared in Teen Titans #3. Check out Ding-Dong Daddy at https://villains.lol/ding-dong-daddy     Can I please stop saying "Ding-dong Daddy," now? *I know it's a Van Dyke beard.

Gimmicks can come in all shapes and sizes. For the super-smart, semi-traitorous "Egghead" that shape is egg and the size is very, very big. Egghead first appeared in Tales to Astonish #38 Want to read this and see some pictures?  https://villains.lol/egghead  

The Scarlet Beetle is, surprise surprise, a red beetle. Like most beetles (who have been dosed with massive amounts of radiation), he's telepathic, super bitter, and can grow to the size of a city block. We also learn that all bugs are jerks and if they ever get it together we're all dead. The Scarlet Beetle first appeared in Tales to Astonish #39 Check out the post on our new site! https://villains.lol/scarlet-beetle    

We're back, and we're launching the new season with a jumbo-sized episode profiling a serious villain and going over the comic book history of the Marvel Cinematic Universe's new big bad: Kang the Conqueror.  Want to read this instead and see some pictures? Check out our new website: https://botw.fail/kang-the-conqueror Kang the Conqueror first appeared in Fantastic Four #19. -- Special thanks to our sponsor: Shellder Shirts. Go to https://gimmeshellder.shirts/best to learn more!

Witness the rise of one of the greatest villains of one of the greatest heroes of DC Comics. That villain is, of course, a telepathic genius worm. From space. Here's the link to Mr. Mind in the Shazam movie: https://youtu.be/GC6ksHacdXI?t=61 Mr. Mind first appeared in Captain Marvel Adventures #26. NOTE: This is the finale for 2022. There will be more episodes coming in 2023, but it might be a few weeks for us to get up and running. Thanks for listening! -- Every home can be a mobile home with Mobile Homes by Yaga! Check them out at https://homes.yaga/best so they know we sent you!

The Eraser finds a way to channel all that fail into a lucrative career...where he dresses up like a giant pencil. The Eraser first appeared in Batman #181. -- So excited for the X3 by Robots That Won't Kill You® check it out here and get 10% off! https://robotsthatwontkillyou.bot

What do you do when your hero has horns? Put him up against the Matador, of course. That practically writes itself. The Matador first appeared in Daredevil #5. -- Check out It's Saw in the Wrist and get 10% off your two wrist-mounted saws at https://itssawinthe.wrist/best

Ever looked at your desk calendar and felt inspired to do supercrime? Yeah, me neither. But Julian Gregory Day, the man named after not one, but two calendars has! Calendar Man living his best life (I made a mistake in the post and said he was robbing Santa. Really he was trying to steal a giant paper mache diamond because yes that makes more sense: https://myths.link/calendarman -- Cursed swords! Get your cursed sword today...if you can handle it (you can! Don't think about it just do it!) https://cursed.swords/best

The Condiment King proves that you can hold up a bank with dijon mustard. You can't do it well, and you'll get taken down almost immediately, but you can do it. The Condiment King actually first appeared in Batman: The Animated Series, but his first comic appearance was in Batgirl: Year One. -- The Jedi Recruitment Drive is on now! Have a child who can move things with their minds? They'll find you!

Somehow, the Balloon Maker, a villain who makes balloons from a comic clearly meant for children, is the most disturbing villain we've talked about so far. The Balloon Maker made his first (and thankfully last) appearance in Frankenstein #14. -- Check out Zombox! The world's first zombie survival subscription box service at https://zom.box/botw

A violent monster angry that no one will date him. Long-discredited crackpot theories. Is this the internet in 2022? Nope, it's the making of the supervillain Mole Man. Mole Man first appeared in "The Fantastic Four" #1 -- Start building your legacy today with https://topofthemourningto.ya/best  

The Dark Archer is a great name for an objectively terrible villain. Lucky for him, everyone else was equally incompetent. The Dark Archer first appeared in Thrilling Comics #26. -- Get hot fresh buns on the go with the Carbunator! https://carbunator.car/best   The word in the disclaimer is "boner." Apparently in the 1940s people used it in children's comics to mean a clumsy mistake. We mention it between 2:20-2:40 initially, and then again at the end of Dark Archer's section at 6:25.

We'll see how you can find inspiration to improve from the unlikeliest of places...even from a guy named The Melter. He melts stuff, if you couldn't tell from his super creative and terrifying name. The Melter first appeared in Tales of Suspense #47 and Mr. Doll first appeared in Tales of Suspense #48. -- Get an Igor at https://getanigor.com. Don't forget to use our code SLAPPYDOODAH for 15% off!

The Calculator is a guy with a giant pocket calculator on his chest. Probably the worst way to wear a pocket calculator. Also, why would anyone wear a calculator? The Calculator first appeared in Detective Comics #463 -- Special thanks to Dinner for Two® go to https://dinnerfor.two/BEST to get your free pack of quip chips.

Turtle Man is a lesson is never compromising on living the life of your dreams. Unfortunately, for Turtle Man, the life of his dreams was committing robberies dressed like a turtle (tortoise, actually). Turtle Man first appeared in Showcase #4. -- Get your Chairy the Living Chair® today, and always have a seat ready for you. https://chairy.chair code BEST

Zoltan Drago had a dream. A dream of bringing his wax sculptures to life. And a chemistry lab. And no training whatsoever. What could possibly go wrong? Mister Fear first appeared in Daredevil #6 -- Playtime's Over with Toy Stay™ https://toy.spray/stay code BEST

If a "Who's on First" bit was extended into a entire criminal career, Mr. Who is a scientist who discovered a life-changing serum that helped him to change into any form needed, create giant spiders, and have super-strength...and instead of selling it used it to rob art galleries. Mr. Who first appeared More Fun Comics #73 -- Bring your toys to life with Toy Spray! Now with 40% fewer existential crises! Check it out at https://toy.spray/best    

The Asthma Monster is exactly what he sounds like. A guy who gives people asthma. His weakness is inhalers and concussions. The Asthma Monster first appeared in Captain America Meets the Asthma Monster.

What happens when you jump into the East River with radioactive isotopes? You get fish powers, of course. No one laughs at Mr. Fish. And by "no one" we mean "everyone." Mr. Fish first appeared in Luke Cage, Power Man #29. -- Finish off your lair in style with Big Mike's Supercomputers.

Tomorrow Man is proof both that we can have hope in the future (it's a utopia where people forgot how to even make weapons), but also be misanthropic because there's always one disgruntled jerk out to ruin everything. Tomorrow Man first appeared in Journey into Mystery #86 -- Check out your future with FutureTubes® by going to https://future.tubes/bestoftheworst  

I mean, no one condones gladiator fights, but who among us would turn down a chance to watch Superman slug it out with a giant, superpowered gorilla? King Krypton the Super Gorilla first appeared in Action Comics #238 -- Sign up the New Horizons Bakery* mailing list for a free cookie** at https://newhorizons.bakery   *and extra-governmental agency **and help them to claim new worlds with blood and conquest

Robbing Hood is a villain who "robs from the decadent poor and gives to the righteous rich." He is, sadly, in good company. Robbing Hood first appeared in Prize Comics #39. -- Check out Nano Brand Clothes and be ready for whatever life throws at you if you accept their extensive and invasive privacy policy! https://nanobrand.clothes/BEST

Tino the Terrible Teen is the richest teenage in the world, a thing that was probably more noteworthy before TikTok and influencers and stuff. Tino the Terrible Teen first appeared in Challengers of the Unknown #57. -- Also, hi! We're back! It was challenging this summer to find enough time for work, so some things had to be put on hold. I'm going to work to keep this show consistent throughout the fall. It's a lot of fun. -J

You know what you get from eating too many roaches? Superpowers, that's what. But only if they offer you their fancy roach amulet. -- Spots are still available for the BBEGBC August session! Go to https://BBEGBC.evil/best to learn more!

Hunter Mann turned green and made a world-altering discovery. Did he make a billion dollars and pick up his Nobel Prize? Nope. He decided to dress up as a praying mantis and take over Baja California. Praying Mantis Man first appeared in Blue Beetle #4. -- Check Out OnTime and their entire suite of helpful, definitely not soul-crushing time travel products at https://on.time/botw

The Jingler would kill to get his poems published. And he did. And they were still terrible. -- Check out https://RedSkullRedShield.insurance/botw for all RSRS's exciting super villain insurance options!

King Cobra is a research assistant living the life of his dreams: slithering along walls in a skintight bodysuit with "cobra strength" ...whatever that is. NOTE: This is the last episode before we take two weeks off. We'll be back on June 21, 2022!

When your threats start as "first the public library, then the world!" and your grand plans involve provoking children into fistfights, the name "the Clown" might be too serious for you. -- The Clown first appeared in Super-Mystery comics #5

The Top is a surprisingly competent villain for someone directly themed after a children's toy. The Top first appeared in The Flash #122

An icicle is an extremely fragile thing that falls...so of course it's something to model your whole career in super-villainy after. Icicle first appeared in All-American Comics Issue #90 -- Cross over into a better future with Event Horizons.

What happens when Dracula needs a snack but can't bring himself to bite any humans? Hellcow happens. Hellcow first appeared in Giant-Size Man-Thing #5  -- Get your CPC earbuds now and be able to spout off interesting facts with no notice or context whatsoever!

Meet the enemy of Marvel's Daredevil that could be lurking in your home right now...if you use gasoline to clean the carpets. -- Get your very own Sentinel and get a free refill on exploding rocket fists by going to https://sentinel.home.security/rockets

The Piper shows that no matter who you are or what you do, you too can have your own arch enemy. Just hope that it isn't the piper, who is actually legitimately pretty terrifying when he's not throwing clarinets at people. The Piper first appeared in Quality Comics #52 -- Prepare for quicksand-related dangers before they strike. Get your QuickPit today at https://quick.pit/revolutions  

What could be more threatening than a monocle themed villain? Literally anything? Yeah. Literally anything. Monocle first appeared in Flash Comics #64 -- Check out Season 2 of Multi-Versus and use our code BEST at https://multi.vs/best to get 7% off of their ad-free with ads tier!