Just Asking

The one thing we all have in common is that we’re alive. Besides that, our experiences may vary. So how do we make the best of our time here? This week, we discuss the three things we all need to live a happy, healthy and balanced life. Follow me on Social: Facebook: @StevenIngMFT Twitter: @StevenIngMFT Soundcloud: Just Asking with Steven Ing -Stevening – Dati... Links: Website: stevening.com/ Books: stevening.com/store Speaking engagements: stevening.com/book-steven Consulting: stevening.com/consulting Music courtesy of Octophonix: Octophonix – 2015xx

Drama is the needless escalation of a problem, and there are people who thrive on it. So, how do we handle drama and the people who perpetuate it in our own lives? Follow Steven on Social: Facebook: @StevenIngMFT Twitter: @StevenIngMFT Soundcloud: Just Asking with Steven Ing -https://soundcloud.com/stevening

Religion’s relationship with sexuality is precarious to say the least, but does God accept us regardless of our orientation? How about religion? This week, we discuss faith, religion, sexuality and community with Kathy Baldock, an expert on the historical religious discrimination against members of the LGBTQIA+ community. She is the author of “Walking the Bridgeless Canyon: Repairing the Breach Between the Church and the LGBT Community” and founder of Canyonwalker Connections, an organization with a goal of repairing the relationship between the LGBTQIA+ community and the church.

The #MeToo movement has shined a light on sexual harassment and gender equality in the workplace. It has also encouraged some men to step up and demand equality in areas like paternity leave and child support. But what about ladies night at the local bar? Is that worth suing over? Some of these are complicated issues with complicated answers, which we explore in this podcast. Follow me on Social: Facebook: @StevenIngMFT Twitter: @StevenIngMFT Soundcloud: Just Asking with Steven Ing -https://soundcloud.com/stevening/dati... Links: Website: http://stevening.com/ Books: http://stevening.com/store Speaking engagements: http://stevening.com/book-steven Consulting: http://stevening.com/consulting Music courtesy of Octophonix: https://soundcloud.com/octophonix/2015xx

Do you remember “the talk”, sex ed, figuring out sexuality and how awkward it all was? Shouldn’t we be able to make it easier for the next generation? This week Steven and Jackie sit down with Nicole Howes from Reno Moms Blog and Jonathan Salkoff from Reno Dads Blog to discuss when, where and how we can do a better job teaching kids about sexuality. Follow me on Social: Facebook: @StevenIngMFT Twitter: @StevenIngMFT Soundcloud: Just Asking with Steven Ing -https://soundcloud.com/stevening/dati... Links: Website: http://stevening.com/ Books: http://stevening.com/store Speaking engagements: http://stevening.com/book-steven Consulting: http://stevening.com/consulting Music courtesy of Octophonix: https://soundcloud.com/octophonix/2015xx

President Trump is appointing another judge to the Supreme Court. What will this mean for our reproductive rights? In this podcast, Steven and Jackie discuss the advantages of planning our parenthood and what could happen to our ability to control when we have children. Follow me on Social: Facebook: @StevenIngMFT Twitter: @StevenIngMFT Soundcloud: Just Asking with Steven Ing -https://soundcloud.com/stevening/dati... Links: Website: http://stevening.com/ Books: http://stevening.com/store Speaking engagements: http://stevening.com/book-steven Consulting: http://stevening.com/consulting Music courtesy of Octophonix: https://soundcloud.com/octophonix/2015xx

Parenting is already a huge challenge, but how do you parent children whose life experience is so different from your own? In this podcast, we bring in members of the LGBTQIA+ community to share their thoughts on how moms and dads can be better parents to their LGBTQIA+ kids. Follow me on Social: Facebook: @StevenIngMFT Twitter: @StevenIngMFT Soundcloud: Just Asking with Steven Ing -https://soundcloud.com/stevening/dati... Links: Website: http://stevening.com/ Books: http://stevening.com/store Speaking engagements: http://stevening.com/book-steven Consulting: http://stevening.com/consulting Music courtesy of Octophonix: https://soundcloud.com/octophonix/2015xx

Social media has changed how we communicate and interact with one another, but is that always a good thing? This week, we talk about how social media might seem convenient and easy, but it may not be the best way to create or maintain any relationship. Follow me on Social: Facebook: @StevenIngMFT Twitter: @StevenIngMFT Soundcloud: Just Asking with Steven Ing -https://soundcloud.com/stevening/dati... Links: Website: http://stevening.com/ Books: http://stevening.com/store Speaking engagements: http://stevening.com/book-steven Consulting: http://stevening.com/consulting Music courtesy of Octophonix: https://soundcloud.com/octophonix/2015xx

Religion has a lot to say about sex, but the big question is whether or not God wants us to have fun in the bedroom. This week Steven and Jackie talk about religion, many of its rules about sexuality, whether those rules are reasonable, and how our own sex lives are intertwined with our beliefs. Follow me on Social: Facebook: @StevenIngMFT Twitter: @StevenIngMFT Soundcloud: Just Asking with Steven Ing -https://soundcloud.com/stevening/dati... Links: Website: http://stevening.com/ Books: http://stevening.com/store Speaking engagements: http://stevening.com/book-steven Consulting: http://stevening.com/consulting Music courtesy of Octophonix: https://soundcloud.com/octophonix/2015xx

We all want to be comfortable with ourselves and our sexuality, but how do we do that? This week Steven Ing talks with Courtney Smith Kramer, author of “21 Reasons Creativity is Like Sex,” about how she became comfortable with talking about sexuality, why she wrote a book about it and the creative industry’s intersection with sexuality. Follow Steven on Social: Facebook: @StevenIngMFT Twitter: @StevenIngMFT Soundcloud: Just Asking with Steven Ing -https://soundcloud.com/stevening Follow Courtney on Social: Facebook.com/courtneysmithkramer Twitter/Snapchat: @CSHasArrived Instagram: @CSmithPM "21 Resons Creativity is Like Sex": https://www.amazon.com/21-Reasons-Creativity-Like-Sex/dp/1684181836 Links: Website: http://stevening.com/ Books: http://stevening.com/store Speaking engagements: http://stevening.com/book-steven Consulting: http://stevening.com/consulting Music courtesy of Octophonix: https://soundcloud.com/octophonix/2015xx

Conflict is an inevitable and necessary part of any intimate relationship, but it should never be about destroying one another. Consent is obviously mandatory during sex, but how can it lead to more productive arguments?

Early childhood trauma can lead us to do some crazy stuff later in life, whether that’s drugs, drinking to excess or blowing up a school with the fire coming out of our fists. How can we help people move on with their lives in a healthy and productive way?

In this week’s “AskING for a Friend,” we bring the friend into the studio. Kurt Thigpen discusses his experience as a gay youngster in the Boy Scouts and what the Scouts could do to truly celebrate diversity.

Do you feel like you’re superior, or inferior, to your mate? In today’s podcast we talk about how equality can affect our relationships. Give it a listen and let us know your thoughts.

Are you ready to proactively take control of your romantic life? In this podcast we talk about Steven Ing’s “30 Days to Reclaim Your Mojo” and how it can help you think more rationally about love and sex.

When affairs happen in 50% of marriages, what can you do to protect yours? The key is intimacy, but probably not the way you’re thinking of it.

We love weddings (especially the royal kind!) as much as the next person, but it can be a problem when the wedding becomes more important than the relationship or, eventually, the marriage.

Congress recently approved spending $100 million on abstinence-only sex education in 2018. This is on top of $2 billion already spent, even though research proves it not only doesn’t work, but it can be downright dangerous.

In this podcast, we discuss Amy Schumer’s new movie, “I Feel Pretty.” What does it mean to be pretty? Is it about how you look? Or how you act?

The age-old concept of “friends with benefits” is now sometimes called “the new monogamy,” but the idea is the same: Find someone you like, but not “in that way,” and agree to a casual sexual relationship. Sounds simple, but it can be fraught with potential problems, most likely that the two people involved are not on the same page. In this week’s podcast, we discuss the pros and cons of casual sex and how to avoid hurting one another in our quest for no-strings relationships.

In this podcast, we discuss the recent terrorist attack in Toronto, what motivates #Incels (involuntary celibates) and what we can do to help prevent more men from turning to this dangerous and self-defeating worldview. Magic Sex Number: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EUOtDSknAOY Talked about in this podcast: Men and Their Friends: http://stevening.com/blog/men-and-their-friends-why-bros-matter Sex Ed and Talking To Kids About Sex: http://stevening.com/blog/when-it-comes-sex-ed-ignorance-%E2%89%A0-bliss http://stevening.com/blog/how-start-talking-about-sex-children-part-1 http://stevening.com/blog/how-start-talking-about-sex-children-part-2 http://stevening.com/blog/how-start-talking-about-sex-children-part-3-0 http://stevening.com/blog/how-start-talking-about-sex-your-children-part-4-0 http://stevening.com/blog/how-start-talking-about-sex-your-children-part-5-0 Follow me on Social: Facebook: @StevenIngMFT Twitter: @StevenIngMFT Soundcloud: Just Asking with Steven Ing -https://soundcloud.com/stevening/dati... Links: Website: http://stevening.com/ Books: http://stevening.com/store Speaking engagements: http://stevening.com/book-steven Consulting: http://stevening.com/consulting Music courtesy of Octophonix: https://soundcloud.com/octophonix/2015xx

The median age for marriage is now 30, compared to 23 in the 1970s. Increased gender equality, advances in technology and different goals are part of the reason younger generations are putting off “settling down,” but what is the rest of the equation? Join our conversation, where we discuss what we can we learn from some new philosophies about commitment — and what elements of love and relationships are consistent through the ages. Magic Sex Number: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EUOtDSknAOY Talked about in this podcast: Marriage & Relationships http://stevening.com/blog/practice-discovery-when-exploring-new-relationship http://stevening.com/blog/yes-you-can-survive-affair http://stevening.com/blog/did-you-know-affair-proofing-your-marriage-possible http://stevening.com/blog/how-take-meh-out-your-marriage Follow me on Social: Facebook: @StevenIngMFT Twitter: @StevenIngMFT Soundcloud: Just Asking with Steven Ing -https://soundcloud.com/stevening/dati... Links: Website: http://stevening.com/ Books: http://stevening.com/store Speaking engagements: http://stevening.com/book-steven Consulting: http://stevening.com/consulting Music courtesy of Octophonix: https://soundcloud.com/octophonix/2015xx

Why are we talking about World of Warcraft on a show about sexuality? If you’ve ever spent time in an MMORPG (massively multiplayer online role-playing game), chances are good you’ve experienced some ugly sexism, homophobia and racism. Dylan Szewczak figured out a way to create an abuse-free oasis in World of Warcraft, and Steven interviews him to find out his secret. Spoiler alert: It’s something we can all do every day to create abuse-free environments in the real world. Magic Sex Number: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EUOtDSknAOY Follow me on Social: Facebook: @StevenIngMFT Twitter: @StevenIngMFT Soundcloud: Just Asking with Steven Ing -https://soundcloud.com/stevening/dati... Links: Website: http://stevening.com/ Books: http://stevening.com/store Speaking engagements: http://stevening.com/book-steven Consulting: http://stevening.com/consulting Music courtesy of Octophonix: https://soundcloud.com/octophonix/2015xx

Men need male friends. This seems obvious, yet it’s alarming how many men forgo this important need. But the fabulous men on the newly rebooted Queer Eye have reminded us just how important it is for all of us to have true friends – the kind who will call us out, share sincere and honest feedback and help make us better people. Oh yeah, and teach us some of the intimacy skills we need for our romantic relationships. But first, a brief detour to discuss Dear Abby’s opinion of virginity. Magic Sex Number: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EUOtDSknAOY Follow me on Social: Facebook: @StevenIngMFT Twitter: @StevenIngMFT Soundcloud: Just Asking with Steven Ing -https://soundcloud.com/stevening/dati... Links: Website: http://stevening.com/ Books: http://stevening.com/store Speaking engagements: http://stevening.com/book-steven Consulting: http://stevening.com/consulting Music courtesy of Octophonix: https://soundcloud.com/octophonix/2015xx

What do sex addiction and gay conversion therapy have in common? Neither one of them is an accepted term used by mental health professionals. While “sex addiction” is sometimes used as an excuse for unacceptable behavior (think Harvey Weinstein), conversion therapy is downright dangerous and should never be used. Topics Talked About in this Podcast: Sex Addiction: http://stevening.com/blog/thank-you-harvey-weinstein-and-james-toback http://stevening.com/blog/are-you-sex-addict Conversion Therapy and the LGBTQAI+ Community: http://stevening.com/blog/lgbqtia-what-do-these-letters-even-mean http://stevening.com/blog/no-bloodletting-and-now-no-conversion-therapy-nevada http://stevening.com/blog/lgbtqia-should-we-just-throw-whole-alphabet Magic Sex Number: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EUOtDSknAOY Follow me on Social: Facebook: @StevenIngMFT Twitter: @StevenIngMFT Soundcloud: Just Asking with Steven Ing -https://soundcloud.com/stevening/dati... Links: Website: http://stevening.com/ Books: http://stevening.com/store Speaking engagements: http://stevening.com/book-steven Consulting: http://stevening.com/consulting Music courtesy of Octophonix: https://soundcloud.com/octophonix/2015xx

The #MeToo and #TimesUp movements have shined a critical light on the problem of sexual abuse in the workplace. Why has it taken so long? Will we finally be able to effect critical change and make work environments safer for women and men alike? In this podcast, Steven suggests that the key to solving this universal problem is simple: We need to use our words to ask for and give consent, rather than to rely on the implicit Braille method. Topics Talked About in this Podcast: Sexual Harassment: http://stevening.com/blog/recurring-questions-about-sexual-harassment http://stevening.com/blog/sex-therapist-i-can-tell-you-you%E2%80%99re-asking-wrong-question-about-sexual-harassment http://stevening.com/blog/thank-you-harvey-weinstein-and-james-toback http://stevening.com/blog/talking-about-sexual-harassment http://stevening.com/blog/dealing-sexual-harassment http://stevening.com/blog/sexual-harassment-workplace Consent: http://stevening.com/blog/%E2%80%98use-your-words%E2%80%99-obtain-consent-eliminate-uncertainty Sexual Fantasies: http://stevening.com/blog/what-about-scary-sexual-fantasies http://stevening.com/blog/beware-ifthen-game-sexual-fantasies Magic Sex Number: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EUOtDSknAOY Follow me on Social: Facebook: @StevenIngMFT Twitter: @StevenIngMFT Soundcloud: Just Asking with Steven Ing -https://soundcloud.com/stevening/dati... Links: Website: http://stevening.com/ Books: http://stevening.com/store Speaking engagements: http://stevening.com/book-steven Consulting: http://stevening.com/consulting Music courtesy of Ben Vanderbosch. https://soundcloud.com/freebmusic/ben-vanderbosch-rainy-day-freebackgroundmusic

Most of us have sex (or would like to), but it’s not something we talk about all that often. So how do we know what’s “normal”? That answer — just like the topic itself — is mostly personal. There have been a few articles published lately lamenting our teens’ viewing of online porn. The reality? They’re watching it, but what do we do about it? And is there anything potentially good about watching porn? The answer might surprise you. Have you heard of the Pheramor app? Break down the word, and it’s exactly what it sounds like — a cross between 23 + Me and Tinder. But can it work? Topics Talked about in this Podcast: How to talk to your kids about sex, parts 1-5: http://stevening.com/blog/how-start-talking-about-sex-children-part-1 http://stevening.com/blog/how-start-talking-about-sex-children-part-2 http://stevening.com/blog/how-start-talking-about-sex-children-part-3-0 http://stevening.com/blog/how-start-talking-about-sex-your-children-part-4-0 http://stevening.com/blog/how-start-talking-about-sex-your-children-part-5-0 Kids Have a Sexuality, Shocking I Know: http://stevening.com/blog/kids-have-sexuality-shocking-i-know Kids and Porn: http://stevening.com/blog/watching-porn-normal-and-natural-%E2%80%94-even-kids When it Comes to Sex Ed, Ignorance is Not Bliss: http://stevening.com/blog/when-it-comes-sex-ed-ignorance-%E2%89%A0-bliss Magic Sex Number: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EUOtDSknAOY Follow me on Social: Facebook: @StevenIngMFT Twitter: @StevenIngMFT Links: Website: http://stevening.com/ Books: http://stevening.com/store Speaking engagements: http://stevening.com/book-steven Consulting: http://stevening.com/consulting Music courtesy of Ben Vanderbosch. https://soundcloud.com/freebmusic/ben-vanderbosch-rainy-day-freebackgroundmusic

The intentional interview is a critical step on the path to a fulfilling, healthy relationship. We talk about how it works and what part the magic sex number plays in it. And it looks like there’s some victim shaming going on with a local city attorney. What’s that about? And what is it designed to accomplish? Nothing good, we’re thinking. We love that Shape of Water, a movie all about sexuality and relationships, won Best Picture at this year’s Academy Awards! Join us as we talk about how to overcome the odds when your soulmate is a fish. Follow me on Social: Facebook: @StevenIngMFT Twitter: @StevenIngMFT Soundcloud: Just Asking with Steven Ing -https://soundcloud.com/stevening/dati... Links: Website: http://stevening.com/ Books: http://stevening.com/store Speaking engagements: http://stevening.com/book-steven Consulting: http://stevening.com/consulting Music courtesy of Ben Vanderbosch. https://soundcloud.com/freebmusic/ben-vanderbosch-rainy-day-freebackgroundmusic

This week, we talk with our guest Verita Black Prothro, about Black Panther, its evolved gender roles and how those affect the onscreen relationships. We also address the issue of toxic masculinity and how loneliness could be contributing to our nation’s shooting crisis. And then there’s drunk sex, and what we all need to understand about consent. Note: Listen to this podcast only after you have watched Black Panther, unless you love spoilers! Follow me on Social: Facebook: @StevenIngMFT Twitter: @StevenIngMFT Soundcloud: Just Asking with Steven Ing -https://soundcloud.com/stevening/dati... Links: Website: http://stevening.com/ Books: http://stevening.com/store Speaking engagements: http://stevening.com/book-steven Consulting: http://stevening.com/consulting Music courtesy of Ben Vanderbosch. https://soundcloud.com/freebmusic/ben-vanderbosch-rainy-day-freebackgroundmusic

With all the attention on the issue of transgender rights, it's important to know what the term "transgender" really means. As Steven Ing says: "Let's make friends with the truth." What a concept.

Fact: your children are sexual beings (scary thought, I know). We're totally comfortable guiding them in pursuits as they pertain to school, work, athletics, friendships, hobbies and any other aspect of their lives but the minute it relates to sexuality, we freeze up. Unfortunately, we can't just ignore that piece of them. We have a role in nurturing their ability to have healthy sexual relationships.

You're ready for an abuse-free life and you know how to do it yourself, but what if your partner has some abusive tendencies? Note: If your partner is physically abusive it's time you got in touch with a women's center and start planning your escape without delay.

If you've been catfished one too many times, maybe it's because you're trying to date online. Subscribe to my podcast to stay part of the conversation.

Abuse-free life? Sold. Now, how do I manage my life in an abuse-free way?

What is the abuse-free life?

Here's part two of the conversation on deal breakers. We cover how to come up with that 'list' for yourself.

Beware of the so-called 'List' of must-haves when dating. It's ok to have non-negotiables, but they should be about your needs and not about the things you think you want. Want to know why? Listen and find out.

If you're facing sexual harassment in the workplace or even in school, learn from Steven Ing on how to deal with it. Some of the choices will be difficult, but these tools will give you the confidence to make that necessary leap from just surviving to thriving.

Sexual harassment in the workplace is a huge problem and to begin to tackle this issue we first need to understand it. This is the first part of our two-part series on this topic where we will try to unpack and understand it first. If it makes you sad, know it makes us sad too. Check out the next podcast on dealing with sexual harassment to feel better and give yourself the tools to solve it.

Steven Ing discusses themes and elements from the book and shows us how we can better understand human sexuality through the upcoming show.

What exactly do we talk about on Just Asking? That's a great question. I'll tell ya.

'Threading the needle,' so to speak, can seem daunting when you're balancing raising your children with sowing the seeds for a fulfilling romantic and sexual life. If you proactively set some ground rules it can make this far less daunting, and even far more empowering for your children.

Sometimes, I can tell very quickly when a relationship is not going to last. If there is contempt or resentment it becomes quite impossible to overcome, not because we aren't capable, but because it would require sacrificing a part of ourselves we don't want to change. What we need is a partner who loves us for who we are while we love them for who they are. Contempt and resentment does not come from love.

If you're looking for love here's a tip: stop. Stop looking for love and start looking for life. Life is meant to be shared, if you aren't happy with your life it's irresponsible to try to share it with someone you want to care about. "If you can't live without her then you can't be with her." - Steven Ing

Do you need to tell your next partner that you cheated on your last one?

Single parents shouldn't hide their modest dating behaviors. Children can learn a lot about how to find a potential mate by learning best practices from their parents as it's happening.

It's important for parents to emulate the behaviors necessary for a successful relationship. This includes the modest, but regular phenomenon of 'mommy and daddy time.'