ManUp Moment - Jay Cookingham

Real leadership isn't about control—it's about commitment. It's about surrender. It's about serving. It's about leading others because you first learned how to follow Christ in faith, in suffering, and in hope.

Positions, titles, even ministries can come and go. But one identity never changes—you are a son of the living God. When the world crashes in, and titles are stripped away, what remains is your sonship. God isn't after your work; He's after your heart. He's not trying to get more from you—He's trying to give more to you.

The world defines desperation as hopelessness. But in God's kingdom, desperation is a deep, relentless need for His presence. Psalm 42:1 says, “As the deer pants for the water, so my soul pants for You, O God.”

In this life… we will have pain, but how we respond to it shapes everything. In John 16:33, Jesus promises we will face tribulation but urges us to take heart—He has overcome the world!

Romans 15:13 reminds us that hope is something God fills us with by the power of the Holy Spirit. It's not manufactured through effort; it's received through faith. When life crashes in with pain, disappointment, and hardship, hope is our anchor.

Men, when you know who you are, you'll know why you're here!

Brothers, forgiveness doesn't make you weak—it makes you unstoppable.

Men, humility isn't weakness—it's the greatest strength we can live out!

Brothers, no title, possession, or past mistake defines you—your Father does!

When we accept Jesus, we move from slaves to sons.

Jesus loved unconditionally, even when it cost Him everything. He calls every man to love the same way… with the same passion.

Restoration is a gift from Father God, who sees our brokenness through the lens of redemption made possible by Jesus. Restoration has been and always will be… defined by His love for us.

Forgiveness is one of the hardest and most powerful things we can do. Jesus showed us how when He forgave those who crucified Him, even pleading, “Father, forgive them.” Forgiveness isn't about ignoring the hurt—it's about freedom from that hurt.

Galatians 4:6 says, “God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying, ‘Abba! Father!'” That title "Abba" isn't just formal; it's deeply personal, like saying “Papa” or “Daddy.” It speaks of intimacy, trust, and love.

God designed sonship to answer two deep questions in every man's heart: “Who am I?” and “Why am I here?” The world lies to us about our identity. But God tells us the truth: we are His sons, adopted into His family with love and purpose.

When we pray, “Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil,” we're asking for rescue. The imagery behind this request is powerful—like a soldier rushing to save a comrade or someone diving into raging waters to pull us to safety.

Jesus connects forgiveness to temptation in the Lord's Prayer for a reason. Forgiveness clears the slate, renews our intimacy with God, and helps us resist temptation. When we forgive, we reflect the Father's heart and live in the freedom Jesus died to give us.

God taught me about prayer through intimate conversations. He showed me how to accept “daily bread” as He defines it, not based on my struggles or pain. His goodness defined my need, bringing comfort and trust.

Jesus tells us to forgive everyone—yes, everyone—who owes us or has failed us. This isn't optional; it's how we live as sons and daughters of the King.

Do you know what I love about the phrase, “Lord, teach us to pray”? It shows the disciples' trust in Jesus' ability to guide them into deeper intimacy with God. They knew Jesus wouldn't ignore their request. Instead, He answered with intentionality and love because of the deep relationship He shared with them.

Failure can shake our sense of purpose and leave us feeling adrift. However, God uses our failures to refine our purpose and draw us closer to Him. Through failures, we discover deeper meaning and direction in life.

Resilience is the key to recovering from failures. It's about refusing to let setbacks define who we are. Instead, we can use them as steppingstones to build greater strength and character.

Failures can leave us feeling regret, worry, shame, or even judgment, but the good news is that they don't have to define us.

Even in failure, God has a greater purpose at work. It assures us that He is sovereign over all things, and that He uses even our failures and setbacks to shape us into His image.

Overcoming failure begins with knowing and believing that failure is not the end; it's an opportunity for growth. When we face setbacks, it's easy to feel defeated and discouraged. But I think failure is permission to try again, to learn, and to grow stronger. Our failures don't define how God sees us.

Brothers, sonship is a journey, not a destination. It's a constant process of becoming more like Jesus, the ultimate example of a son living in perfect obedience and love for the Father.

Brothers, our sonship in Christ isn't just about identity; it's about purpose and the incredible favor bestowed upon us by God. This favor isn't based on anything we do, but on who we are in Him.

For many men, identity is a tangled mess. We tie our worth to our job, our bank account, or the car we drive. But this orphan spirit, constantly seeking to prove itself, leaves us empty and insecure.

Man-made titles are like cheap trophies – they tarnish and lose their shine over time. You could be a CEO, a star athlete, or a war hero. These titles might bring temporary recognition, but they can't define who you truly are.

You are more than the mistakes you've made, the titles you hold, or the struggles you face. You are restored men, living with a purpose that goes beyond anything this world can offer. This purpose is rooted in your sonship – your identity as a beloved child of God.

Jesus sat down and ate with betrayers and deserters… with men who fell asleep when He needed them to pray. Knowing all this, Jesus still wanted to be with them, such was His love for them.

Jesus had not yet died on the cross when he told His disciples to eat and drink “in remembrance of me.” There must be more that Jesus wants us to remember

When we act like Jesus, we are not only living up to our God-given potential, but we are also helping to break down the destructive stereotypes of masculinity. We are showing the world that there is a better way to be a man.

Sonship is God the Father restoring sons to His original design. When we are restored (through redemption) to a deep relationship with God, sonship is our new identity.

God's design of restoring a man's heart is so much more than a simple repair job. It's a complete restoration!

Is God playful? Is it hard for you to imagine a playful God? Well, Does He enjoy His creation? Does He enjoy you? Does He enjoy your playful side? You have one you know; you're made in His image. If He has one, so do you!

Holiness is warm and inviting… because God is! He's warm and irresistible! So, it's more than just choosing a life of holiness… it is choosing Him!

The Westminster shorter catechism says, “Man's chief end is to glorify God and to enjoy Him forever.” Maybe the wording “enjoying God” sounds too playful or not serious enough when it comes to our relationship with God. Afterall, we're supposed to fear God… aren't we?

Charles Simeon, a pastor in England during the mid-1700's once said this about enjoying God. “There are but two lessons for the Christian to learn: the one is, to enjoy God in everything; the other is, to enjoy everything in God.” This is so true… I feel that Christians struggle with this still

I believe, there is a born-in longing for the presence of God. A deep longing… not for blessing, not for rescue… not for healing… just a yearning, a hunger, an ache for Him. An overwhelming, passionate desire to enjoy Him. The question is… Do we enjoy the things God provides more than we enjoy Him?

This is probably the simplest economic concept to understand… What someone will pay for something determines its value. Simple right? Ephesians 1:7 speaks to this. “In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace.”

An orphan/slave spirit is always looking for proof, a sign, something they can use to control or leverage for their own benefit. They need something to hold on to, something that will give them a sense of security and belonging. This can be anything from a physical object to a promise of love. But no matter what it is, the orphan/slave spirit will always look for more.

So, if our life hides itself in Christ, then our identity looks like Jesus, who came to show us the way to relate to the Father as a son. He did this by focusing on the things above. Things like His Father's will, His Father's purposes and fulfilling His Father's mission.

Romans 8:14 “For all who are being led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God.” First God gets a hold of us, then comes with us, and leads us. I love the fact that God leads us into sonship, and that He goes with us on this journey of becoming more like His son, Jesus.

Romans 8:15 For you have not received a spirit of slavery leading to fear again, but you have received a spirit of adoption as sons by which we cry out, “Abba! Father!” Adoption is the extreme makeover of people into sons and daughters. When we accept Jesus as Messiah, God's adoption rescues us from our sin, sets us free from our bondage, restores our identity, and gives us a purpose.

When God says He wants to be our Father, our Abba Father (dear father), He means it! He wants to place us as sons in a desperate world needing them.

Wild animals do not like being in a cage. They pace around a cage, full of bottled-up energy, with no way to release it. They're confused, frightened, not understanding their lost freedom. However, if you keep an animal caged too long, they forget what kind of animal they were, they lose their aggressiveness. The cage becomes too comfortable and sometimes… they die in captivity.

Did you ever wonder what Jesus sounded like? In John 7:46 we read this incredible statement about Jesus. The chief priests and Pharisees sent officers to arrest Jesus, but they returned empty-handed… they heard a frequency from Jesus… that kept them from arresting Him. They told their bosses when they returned without Him in custody. “The officers answered, “No one ever spoke like this man!”

Jesus calls for our hearts to be on the same frequency as His, sounding off with His love, touching other people's lives, with good works motivated by mercy!

There is a frequency to our lives… this is crazy cool, all human beings have a frequency. Everyone, everything on planet Earth… gives off a frequency. However, we humans have a noise problem… a noise pollution problem. There are far too many voices speaking at once in our head. Voices of doubt, uncertainty, confusion, and fear… that distract and fog up our thinking.

Jesus calls us every day to follow Him… to follow Him in the wild places. Jesus is always calling us out.