Melrose Place Cast

Well, by hook or by crook, these two crazy scamps got a group of North Sentinelese to settle into Melrose Place. Hijinx ensue.

We're dealing with first contact, and immediate regret. This week, we take a little dip into a North Sentinelese pond and imagine what would happen if Kimberly and Sydney rolled up on this untouched island.

Well, we're going through with it. All common sense and cultural sensitivity available to us is needed to get through this five-week series.This week, we're zeroing in on *what* Kimberly is doing, how Sydney fits in, and *why* it may just be her most humanitarian work yet.

Well, we're doing what we normally do - taking the half-way point of the year to SLOW DOWN the recording schedule.What's that? You want to know how we could slow it down more than we have? Fair question.Either way, we wanted to give you some hot, fresh, Melrose Place content.Inspired by this idiot, we used robot to imagine what it would look like if we took a tribe untouched by modern society, and moved them into Melrose Place.Mykhailo Polyakov ID'd US tourist who visited untouched Andaman Islands tribe

On a more professional podcast, Teege was chastised for finding a way to work Jimmy Carter into discussions of Melrose Place.Challenge accepted, Nathan.

One week before "the most boring episode of Melrose Place ever" - we have a rather good one. We learned the real tea behind Kimberly and Megan, and Michael literally becomes a gift to a woman.Amanda and Taylor keep fighting, and Peter gets Amanda a $10 mood ring. This story line is on a slow boil, and it needs to turn up the heat as impatiently as me cooking macaroni and cheese as a fourteen year old.Sam and Craig continue their romance, although my notes continue to refer to her as Brooke, which is not right.Jane has a meltdown, realizing that she doesn't know who she is any more. She apologizes to Jake and Alison, but Alison is going to hold a grudge for a while.Matt continues to have a boyfriend, and America waits to see how this will blow up on his face.

Okay, let's think about it - who had the saddest story arc of the entire season? To come to a conclusion, Mary and I debate (and remember!) all that happened in season four, to figure out who came out on bottom. There are definitely some upsets. The brackets (in threes - with the third name getting a bye to the second round) are: The Armstrongs Alison Billy *** Brooke Jake & The Girls Jo Jane *** Jake Michael & The Mancinis Sydney Kimberly *** Michael The Leftovers Peter Amanda *** Matt

Well, now the full origin story of Victoria Taylor McBride (or whatever her given first name was - we already forgot) is coming to light - but she's still deceiving Peter. And Peter is lying to Amanda, and immediately kicking himself about it.Jake, Alison, and Jane. Whatever. Jane has apologized, admitting she lost control. Jake believes it to be sincere, Alison is suspicious. The real fun is over with Michael, Megan, and Kimberly. Kimberly sees a priest, who doesn't die from the interaction. Kimberly is going to die, however. The episode ends with Kimberly approaching Megan after seeing Michael and Megan canoodling through the window.Matt is dating Dr. Hathaway.

Before she arrived in Los Angeles, Kimberly Shaw was a promising young med student from Ohio. Much like Wicked, let's go back in time, and explore how Kimberly became the person we've come to know, love, and fear, from Melrose Place.

Okay, we get it - these episodes are getting a bit on the long side. That said, Melrose Place is adding layers of depth and content and sudsy trashy soap.This week alone, we find out that Megan Lewis has a magical blouse that reveals all Michael needs to know. Kimberly is dangerously sick. Mary has yet to put together the connection between those two things.Sydney continues to scamp about, while falling in love with Kyle and treating us to a wonderful season where a naked man runs out of her apartment. Peter and Amanda continue to bounce back and forth between fighting, bickering, staring longingly at the phone, and making up. Just in time for Taylor to reveal that she is actually Peter's former sister-in-law.Matt is going to hook up with his therapist so that's fun. Unrelated, Teege is going to start the arduous task of becoming a therapist.

Catching up on the early seasons, join us as we splash back in time to simpler days: season two of Melrose Place. Which guest star would we MOST want to join us in our podcasting studio? The answer may surprise you. We had 17 people to choose from, so we built a 16 person/team bracket, with one wild card, who can be brought in whenever the choices are too bad. The brackets: Wildcard if needed: Celia Morales Katya & Nikki Petrova v. Lauren Etheridge Stanley Levin v. Bruce Teller Meredith Parker v. The Parkers Katherine Andrews v. Palmer Woodward Hillary & Chaz v. Sarah & Hank Jeffrey Lindley v. Reed Carter Robert Wilson v. Chris Marchette Steve McMillan v. Keith Gray Who wins the second season of the tournament of guest stars? Let's revisit the recent (30 years ago) past and consider.

Well, it's been a while since Mary and I recorded, so we got a little long and rambly.But, Jane continues to be interesting, which is distressing. She is also stalking Jake, and she gets busted. Of course, we are a little shaky, because it was Billy of all people that cracked the case. Weird.Also weird: Samantha. She is going along with Sydney's scheme to hide Sam's identity while Syd sells her art. Adding to the weird: Sydney tells the truth immediately upon being challenged in her web of lies. What exactly is going on?Taylor is clearly making inroads with Peter, and we can now 100% know he doesn't know her, but she knows him. Amanda is getting jealous, and acting it, which is weird for her.Matt has a confrontational moment with gay rehaber, and has a deep moment of saying "right back at ya'" to demonstrate a mutual likeness.Michael and Megan start making out, but Michael's conscience gets the best of him. Then Kimberly won't have sex with him so he goes back to Megan and loses his conscience. Or regains his original conscience? Either way, things are moving forward with Megan. Which means, if you've seen the show before, you know what's happening with Kimberly to explain why she is also being weird.But perhaps the weirdest thing: Craig delivers a cup of coffee in a paper bag so he is lucky he is beautiful or he'd be kicked out of the story in Teege's mind.

Since we were so fortunate to have our resident Gen Z expert join us to discuss 5.5 - we posed an intriguing query:If you had to spend a weekend with the characters of Melrose Place, who are you taking where?Which character would be serving at the Chappel Roan concert? Who is more of a classical music girlie? Who doesn't get invited?Let's let our Gen X hearts view ourselves through a Gen Z lens.

Listen ...You just want to hear this story about what's happening in the good town of West Allis, Wisconsin.

Not the worst title they've had in a while.We are to believe that Jane's brief love affair with Jake last season was so deep that she'd now stand by and watch Jake and Alison burn in a fire she accidentally caused. But she did not get this obsessed over Michael and his magical ... okay.Taylor and Peter continue to be an intriguing slow boil. She keeps finding ways to bump into him, including hearing that he is in Palm Springs and convincing her husband to show up at what is apparently the only hotel in the area, right when Peter is alone.And Kyle, the dumbass, doesn't think anything is suspicious about that.Kimberly is winding down, since Megan is arriving. She does her job passed Michael, who is experiencing sexual frustration with his wife and so we see where this goes. (So does Kimberly...)Craig has shown up, and he is a little nepo-bitch. Cute, sure, but a bitch.Matt is leaning on Michael to rescue him from his addiction. Michael reveals he had done drugs to get through medical school but I guess we weren't supposed to dig in on that.

We are back for another flashback episode - this time digging into the archives of our notes to remember what happened to our main characters in season two of Melrose Place. Which main character had the *worst* time of it in season two? Join us on this walk down memory lane as we work our way through this tournament of ten. The brackets: Alison v. Billy Jo v. Amanda Matt v. Jake Then for the final pairing, we have a qualifying round. The winner of each of the brackets below advances into the regular tournament, making their way through this sad, sad, group of main characters. Mrs. Mancini (Jane) v. Mrs. Mancini (Sydney) Michael v. Kimberly Who do you think should make it all the way to the end?

There is no apostrophe in this title and yes that is absolutely incorrect but we do not make the laws of America.And tbh, if we did, we wouldn't start with Melrose Place titles. So Burnin Love it is, even if the red squiggly line appears.Big news - Jane sets Alison's apartment on fire and fade to black while she watches it burn. Bigger news - it's been a long time since Jane was boring. It just kind of snuck up on us.Billy and Sam are getting together. Okay, fine. At least they're not inevitable.Jake and Alison are now outed as lovers, but Jane is not having it. What? Sure, that makes sense with her story arc.Kimberly is giving up her medical license to become Michael and Peter's secretary. She might have other plans.Matt is in some of his hottest scenes - at a gay bar - picking up a prostitute - going to jail. BUT OOOHHH NOO we didn't get the blue jumpsuit. Next time.

Well, here's what happened - we finished the Models, Inc. 'Cast, with sadness in our hearts, thinking we would never again enjoy the entertainment of this arm of the fictional Melrose Place / 90210 / Models, Inc. universe.Alas, building towards our final episodes of the entire podcast, probably still a few years out, we realized that we needed to identify which characters from Models, Inc. would be elevated into the final tournaments - exploring each season for the saddest main character, and most awesome guest star.So, we have it - enjoy this flash back to the simpler times, when models didn't have cell phones.

How hard do you have to convince a police officer that he should "shoot to kill"? That's the high art Melrose Place tackled this week. The answer: not very hard. Especially if they're hunky but skittish park rangers.Also, Mary points out the traumatic experience Sam has dealing with Jane and Sydney this week, as she rolls up, shouts "toot toot, sorry I'm late!" and is suddenly ducking bullets.Taylor is still scheming in what is a relatively slow burn in the world of Melrose Place. We still don't know what she's up to.Billy discovers Alison and Jake are sleeping together and he gets upset. Does he have a right to be? These are his two best friends sneaking around and lying to him for weeks in order to spare his feelings.Also Matt is high and Kimberly saves Peter by having an outburst in court.

Look, because we* are completionist, we *have* to go back to past seasons and identify the guest star we'd most like to podcast with. Of course then at the very end of this podcast, when we've watched our last episode but still keep churning out special episodes, we can have a proper tournament of season champions. * I am obligated to say that "we" means "Teege" This week, we'll discuss the season one guest stars to identify who we'd most like to join us in the podcasting studio. Who would be your picks? It's a traditional, single-elimination tournament, just like Wrestlemania IV, but with no one skipping to round two. David / Donna / Steve v. Kelly Taylor Terrance Haggard v. Paul Brubecker Lucy Cabot v. Hal Barber Kay Beacon v. Nancy Donner Dr. Stanley Levin v. Palmer Woodward The Campbells v. The Fieldings Keith Gray v. Carrie Fellows Charles Reynolds v. Sam Towler

Why are we calling him Dick, now? Is this some pop culture moment from way back that we don't understand? Or was it meant to be a bit racy? Peter and Amanda are arguing over whether or not Peter killed his first wife. Amanda, mystically, thinks he could never do something like that even though he was on probation for attempting to murder her. Michael is helping Kimberly along, hoping she'll regain her memory, but mostly being a dutiful husband. It's nice. Matt continues to be on drugs, and is kind of a hottie little drug user. The story of the week remains with Jane - who is admittedly not boring this week. Throw in the comedy of errors with Sam slowly realizing that something isn't quite right with Jane and Sydney, and you've got yourself an actually entertaining story line. Hopefully it goes on for a long time. Alison and Jake continue to secretly date. Hopefully this does not. Taylor continues to be an intriguing new character. Far more so than Kyle or Sam. She clearly has a thing for Peter, and Amanda is starting to figure it out.

You can't get it out of your head - the image of Kimberly and Sydney, flowing attire flapping in the wind, casually eating ice cream while walking along the beach and plotting a M U R D E R of Michael Mancini. Or as they say in My Cousin Vinny, Murder IN THE FIRST DEGREE! But, did their ginger plot start with murder, or was it more of a slow build? Maybe the began by imagining what would happen if they just released a little air from his tires every now and then, requiring him to stop and fill them up more frequently. Perhaps putting one Macintosh apple in a bag of Galas, making him question his flavor profile? In this month's robot remix, we asked robot to help us imagine what happened in the moments before the cameras arrived.

If you are as confused and dumbfounded as we are about the re-election of Donald Trump, then join us on this special inauguration day episode. Mary and I work through each of the characters, with a remarkable ability to know how they voted on a secret ballot, to determine just how the election tilted towards Donald Trump.

This is a throwback episode, for sure. But in order to be completionists, after the rousing success of the Tournament of Sadness at season three, we went back and revisited the first season. Using an epic tournament style deliberation, we answer the question: which Melrose Place character had the worst season? Here are the brackets: The Mrs. Mancinis Jane / Sydney Winner takes on: Kimberly They Live Above Jake Rhonda / Sandy Winner takes on: Jo The D&D Dream Team Alison / Amanda Winner takes on: Billy The Bros Matt / Jake Winner takes on: Michael Who do you think had the worst experience in season one?

Melrose Place is back for another season, and so are we! We come back to see what happened with the fact that Richard, while dead, was literally crawling out of the ground. His psychological warfare on Jane Mancini is epic. Also, who exactly is the villain in this scenario? Alison and Jake are dating behind Billy's back, to spare his feelings. I can't wait to see how this turns out. Peter is in jail, and his arrest apparently makes front page news in ::checks notes:: BOSTON - where Taylor sees it and decides to blackmail her husband into moving to LA immediately, given the things he's done to her in the past. They own restaurants. Jo is officially gone. Matt is on drugs. Kimberly can't remember having dinner with Peter, and shockingly, her memory is the only thing that would save Peter from the death penalty over the murder of ::checks notes:: Bobby Parezi, not his first wife or the attempted murder of his second.

Okay, fine - so the incest was creepy. Let's try to jazz this up with two former fiancés who always seemed like a better brother and sister than they did future spouses. However - is the Folgers ad too boring without the incest overtones?

Okay, so a brother / sister remix weirded Mary out. So did big brother / little brother even though they just act like they're full brothers, when in reality, they're half brothers. So let's go in another direction. We asked robot to write us a version of the ad that even frat boys wouldn't be weirded out by. Well, perhaps robot understood frat boys better than us.

We're continuing our journey to use robot to rewrite a more acceptable ad than what Folgers delivered fifteen years ago. Let's see what robot thinks would happen if we rolled the Hanson brothers into the ad, with the Jo walking in at an inopportune moment.

The Folgers ad really shocked the conscience of a troubled nation. Robot helps us imagine what that commercial would have looked like if the brother / sister combo were indeed Amanda Woodward and David Michaels, with Hillary Michaels stepping in at an uncomfortable moment.

Folgers Incest Ad: The Oral History of "Coming Home" for the Coffee Commercial's 10th Anniversary | GQ In 2009, Folgers released a nice, downhome, wholesome ad, where a brother and sister are clearly into each other. Mary had never seen the ad. Until now.

With Richard literally crawling out of the ground after being buried, we ask robot to help us imagine a scenario where Melrose Place and The Walking Dead cross over. Who will win in a leadership battle between Amanda Woodward and Rick Grimes? Is Daryl Dixon or Alison Parker the better sidekick? Which Melrose Place characters will take advantage of the zombie horde to begin an illicit affair? Also, who was the Scud Stud?

As is custom, we wrap up the season with an overarching view of this entire season as one contribution to the culture. But is it art or is it trash? We both take our best shot at winning this argument before, mercilessly, burying the season right alongside Richard, where I'm sure it will never be heard from again. Certainly it won't be literally crawling out of the ground in a few months.

We're nearing the end of our legally-required human resources intervention. At least as it relates to Melrose Place. Let's round out this mini-series with a thorough analysis of what an HR professional thinks might be uniquely problematic in the Melrose (work) Places during season four.

In a recent special episode, expert guest Christopher (of Melrose Sheltering In Place infamy) told us that Sam was the worst character on Melrose Place - and her actions led directly to the worst thing that happened in the entire series. Of course, Mary and Teege have no idea what he's referring to. Of course, that won't stop us from throwing out haphazard guesses anyway. Join us in trying to guess, "What did Sam do?!?"

A long, long, time ago, season one featured a one-episode family for Billy Campbell. He leared at a sexy lady having car troubles on the side of the road, picked her up literally and figurately, dated her for a week, took the kid to Six Flags, lied to Alison, fought the boy's father, and thought "hasta la vista, baby" was a secret code between him and his step son. But what if Dawn came by later in the series and she was an old girlfriend instead of a rando comedian on the street? Join us as we remix and rewrite Dawn, from season one.

This is a unique situation for us - a main-stay character is coming aboard with just enough background for Mary and I to speculate while simultaneously being someone we know nothing about. So while Sydney and Kimberly both had some guest appearances before becoming a season regular, we both knew what to expect. Sam? No clue. So Mary and I are guessing - with our rival and threat to our podcast kingdom, Christopher, is here to tell us how close we are.

What could make season three more explosive than a boat bombing and a building bombing? HR forms in triplicate dealing with the decisions our lovely characters are making along the way.

Well, mercifully, it's over for Jo Beth Reynolds. She came in as a dark, mysterious, sophisticated photographer from New York City, and left, we think, as Dominick O'Malley's plus one for an uplifting tour of war-torn Bosnia. But was Jo's entire story line high art for the generations worthy of literary praise, or was it just giving trashy soap opera, and that's fine? To join us in this important discussion, we have our evergreen rival, Christopher, from Melrose Sheltering in Place Podcast fame. Let's finish Jo's character off right.

As you've heard by now, it has infuriated Teege that the actress who played Linda on Models, Inc. was brought into Melrose Place as the character Claire, instead of bringing Linda back to Melrose Place. Nothing had to change. Linda would have worked just well with the storyline. Why did they do this? Just to hurt Teege? Probably. So join us, as Teege manipulates artificial intelligence to remix this up with a little bit of a rewrite.

What a stunning end to a long, long season. Jane and Sydney kill a man (Richard) who is crawling out of the ground, presumably unhappy with his current situation. Jo and O'Malley have their long goodbye, and now it seems like Jo is going to be back next season but IMDB says no, no, no. Kimberly goes on a redemption arc only to flatline right when Peter needs her to testify. What does she need to testify to again? Oh, right, Bobby Parezi's death. Amanda is now married to Dr. Peter Burns so she doesn't have to testify - but it turns out that Dr. Peter Burns is a fake identity, so who knows who Amanda is actually married to. Alison and Jake are getting together, leaving Billy stood up on a rooftop restaurant with a live musician. Anything else?

This episode has everything you could ever want in Melrose Place. Amanda and Michael are gumshoe capers trying to crack the case like they're on a special episode of Melrose Place 'Cast Investigates. Meanwhile, the heartthrob and organrob that is Peter Burns seduces Priscila Presley, only to be busted as two genuine patients of Willowbrook follow him out. Peter is going to get a full lobotomy, while Michael and Amanda dick around and hang out by the dumpsters outside the building. Billy and Alison go on one last date and the fire is gone. But wow, does Jake keep eyeing up Alison as she walks away. Also, Sydney is being recruited/blackmailed as an accomplice and alibi for Jane Mancini to commit her first murder. #Sisters Oh, and Jo continues her slow walk to the exit with Dr. O'Malley.

The court-ordered intervention of human resources continues. Let's find out what this global powerhouse of HR-ness has to say about what happened in the second season of Melrose Place. To be clear - he is not pleased and thinks there may be some policy work needed by the good people at Dungeons and Dragons Advertising.

Well this was a wild ride. We are joined by our expert millenial guest, Gail, who voted well this week. Things we discussed: are we still doing shock therapy? Is karma a bitch, or is that just Monday's? How much did we all enjoy Jake putting Billy in his place? Does it matter that Alison and Jake are going to hook up? How do we address Jane's story line? Is Dr. O'Malley interesting or generic? All this and more, as we wind down season four!

Whatever happened to Carrie from Models, Inc.? The last we saw her, she was somewhere in Central America, trapped in "hell, baby. Hooker hell." Well, Hillary Michaels gets a note from Carrie, which sends her off on a mission to rescue her last, missing model.

And now the stage is set for the mad dash to the season finale. What do you do with a problem like Bobby? Kill him off. What do you do with a problem like Alycia? Kill her off. What do you do with a problem like Jo? Send her off. Peter and Amanda are now goofy in love? And everything Peter ever did, apparently even attempting to murder Amanda, was because, ::sheepishly:: helovesher. Billy is now back to nice Billy but no one cares. Jane told Alison a secret about the sexual assault, so of course Jake found out in minutes. He is going to kill Richard, which Jane supports. Don't get me started on Dr. O'Malley, who offered Matt a teaching job if only he tricked Jo into dating him - who agreed to date him if only she could trick him into confronting Lori at a park. How is Jo not being prosecuted for stalking?

Have you ever wondered how an HR professional might have impacted the characters and storylines of Melrose Place? Clearly, the writers never did. We are very excited to bring you the first of a monthly series - where we bring a decorated and internationally recognized expert in all things human resources, and we tell him what has been happening at D&D, the magazine, Shooters, and more.

Clearly based on True Lies, this episode of Melrose Place appears to be the beginning of a two-episode etch-a-sketch getting ready for the season four finale. The beauty queen drama has come to LA, with Peter taking the blame for Michael's shenanigans. Kimberly is losing her grip on reality, conveniently right up against a season finale. Michael appears to be oblivious to the murder attempts from Betsy. The most offensive scene of the entire series happens, with an on screen sexual assault that went on uncomfortably long. Here we go, folks.

Let the record show, the idea of a last minute candidate switch out in the heat of a Presidential candidate was written BEFORE Joe Biden's debate meltdown. In this one, we follow the tale of Amanda Woodward, Vice Presidential nominee for, let's be real, the Republican Party.

Kimberly and Matt end their fables and foibles with one last adventure ... going way down under the rest of the planet, where no one wants to go - in the great nation of Ah-straw-leeah. That's right, we are closing the loop on Chris Marchette, and all of the returning characters from Matt and Kimberly's spin off.

Matt and Kimberly continue their adventures, although robot seems to have forgotten that this was to be a sitcom. Either way, we manage to catch up with Kay Beacon, who makes a stunning reappearance in the Melrose Place universe after last being spotted criticizing Jane for the rent on a storefront.

It's the spin off Mary has claimed she's been wanting for years: an all out Kimberly / Matt sitcom. But, it's still Melrose Place, so it's filled with dramatics, crime fighting, sex, and sarcasm. In this remix, Brittany is back, and somehow, connected to Jack Parezi. We think we might have hit the limits of the robot's natural processing abilities, as tensions and intrigues rotate between heightening, quickening, and calming.