Reel Garbage

It's episode 149!! Second last episode of the season.  This time around I was joined, once again, by Dave and Darren to discuss the 2009 horror comedy Jennifer's Body.   We tried really hard to wrap up at the one hour mark but we're idiots and we get side tracked easily.   Season finale coming in July then I'm taking a goddamn break for a while.  

Don't get them wet. Don't feed them after midnight. It's always after midnight if you think about it, right? You guys, this movie is 31 years old and it held up. We thought it might be bad but it was actually awesome. Tons of hilarious bits. Ridiculous gremlin filled chaos. Fucking pandemonium!! Darren Millar and I dove into GREMLINS 2: THE NEW BATCH on this episode of the show. We had an absolute blast on this one, it's hilarious, you need to watch it.

On this episode of Reel Garbage we take a bite out of one of Nicolas Cage's first feature films. A horror comedy that surprisingly didn't suck. VAMPIRE'S KISS was a fun and mind bending romp through New York and the life of a young man trapped in the cycle of going out, getting fucked up, and getting down with random ladies until one day he meets a vampire and his whole life is turned upside down.....or at least that's what we think. This movie is crazy so it's right up Cage's alley. I'm joined by my funny friends Dave Bosma and Darren Millar for this one. You can catch both of them on stage doing standup once this damn pandemic is over, but in the meantime head over The ILL INFORMERS youtube page to catch Darren yucking it up with fellow hosts Nash Park and Elyott Ryan.

On this episode of Reel Garbage I rolled into Nanaimo to get angry with my friend Jayden Worth about the terrible 2011 Nicolas "film" DRIVE ANGRY. This movie was basically a terrible compilation of other movies thrown into one steaming pile of cinematic trash. At least it made us laugh at points but good grief Nic, ACT!!!  Thanks for supporting me by listening.  It's you guys that make me continue to make these episodes and I couldn't do it without your support.

Highly recommended by an old coworker MONSTER MAN was a $4,000,000 film that looked like it only cost about 2 grand. And for 2 grand I didn't think it was that terrible. It had it's moments of shitty-ness and some decent effects when it came to the gore. It was a buddy movie in the end, and I had my buddy Dave Bosma come out to review it with me. I liked it more than I thought I would and we had fun giving you our view on it. Don't forget to SUBSCRIBE to the show and turn on NOTIFICATIONS for new episodes every week.

Happy Sunday Reeltors! This week I headed up to Nanaimo to visit, a very funny comedian and all around awesome human being, Jayden Worth to review the 2005 Matthew McConaughy action flick SAHARA. This movie was ridiculous. So many unbelievable action sequences. So much traveling in an impossibly short time. It's Africa!! It's a big continent!! You're not moving that fast!! And nobody drank water! Not. One. Person. Had a sip of water in this movie. Not one! They're all dead. They would all die of dehydration! And nobody ever ate any food? Nobody even once said they were hungry. Most movies that take place in the desert you at least hear one person say "Gah! I'm thirsty." Alright I'm getting distracted here. It was terrible but watchable. C'mon, it's Matthew McConaughy. At least it's like like Ghosts of Girlfriends Past or some shit like that. Be sure to SUBSCRIBE and turn on NOTIFICATIONS. I release a new episode every Sunday at 12:15 PST. Halfway through a five year commitment. Help me make it worth the effort and spread the word. I have a lot of fun making this for you guys! Seeya next week.

On this episode of Reel Garbage I'm joined by my friend Darren Millar from THE ILL INFORMERS podcast to review a sex thriller starring Nicolas Cage called BETWEEN WORLDS.  This movie is straight out of 1987.  The kind of movie you would hide from your parents.  It's just awful but had a few shining moments.  

Hello Reeltors!!! It's Sunday and we've got a brand new episode of Reel Garbage for your listening pleasure. This week I'm joined by my friend, and one of the best damn drummers on Vancouver Island, Jeff Marchi to review another take on the Liam Neeson taken franchise HONEST THIEF. It's exactly what you think it is. Pure garbage.

On this episode of Reel Garbage I'm joined by two hosts from the ILL INFORMERS podcast Nash Park and Darren Millar.  We dissect the John Woo sci fi thriller PAYCHECK and ya know what?  It's actually a great movie, couple of issues here or there but pretty good for the most part.    Find the ILL INFORMERS on youtube and everywhere you get your pods. 

2004 was a different time.  On this episode I'm joined by new comedian Arnold Martillana to review the ridiculous white faced comedy WHITE CHICKS starring two of the Wayans brothers.  It's a peek into the crazy world of rich white folk in the Hamptons for a weekend.  Absolute insanity. 

Have you ever wanted to be a porn star after watching your parents bang on film?  No!  Of course not! That's messed up.  But that's exactly what BUCKY LARSON: BORN TO BE A STAR is all about.  Following your dreams of banging on the big screen. 

What would you do if you could see two minutes into the future? I know I definitely wouldn't be doing a Las Vegas magic act like Nicolas Cage's character in this garbage movie NEXT. Nash Park, Darren Millar and I break down the logistics behind this garbage movie on this weeks episode. We also do a ton of Nicolas Cage impressions. It's a fun one.

What's up Reeltors??!!? Happy Sunday everyone. This week I'm joined, once again, by my very funny friend Jayden Worth to get PRIMAL with Nicolas Cage. This movie title was so misleading. This movie was basically CON-AIR on the water with Cyrus the Virus.

Happy Sunday Reeltors! This week I'm joined by the boys from "THE HIVE LIFE" on youtube. Steven and Pelé help me break down the inner workings of Robin Williams BICENTENNIAL MAN. A touching story of a robot becoming human, I didn't know what to expect but I definitely know that tears were not one of those things. You can find Steve and Pelé and the gang at www.youtube.com/thehivelife for vlog content from Vancouver Island.

This one was a pretty weak ass story with no explanation of magic or how the world of DUNGEONS & DRAGONS actually works.  This could have been so much better but Jeremy Irons' overacting just couldn't do it. 

Login for the thrill ride of 1995......wait.....oh shit....wrong movie? Aaaah shoot. Ok login for.....mediocrity? THE NET with Sandra Bullock was a showcase of 90s technology and anticlimactic chase scenes. Darren Millar joins me on this episode to break it down and get to the bottom of this online thriller.

It's not the Jackie Chan one let's get that out of the way right now.  This version of THE FOREIGNER had post prime Steven Seagal and no amount of slow motion could save this trainwreck of an action film.  

Have you ever wondered what would happen if all of your childhood comedy heroes were slapped together onto a set and Kevin James was asked to hang out with them?  You'd end up with GROWN UPS.  A movie with no offensive jokes, no stakes, no storyline, no fun.  

This movie is basically what happened on January 6th in Washington but with Channing Tatum and shittier special effects. WHITE HOUSE DOWN was a wannabe version of Die Hard. This movie was like Olympus has Fallen with a better looking lead actor. This movie was like okay I'll stop. It actually wasn't terrible but, it wasn't great either.   Video episodes on YouTube.

This was supposed to be R rated.  They decided not to do that and we ended up with this PG rated piece of unrealistic shit.  How does no one question this dog when it talks?!?!?

We did you A Simple Favor and reviewed this.  With a powerhouse female duo like Kendrick and Lively this movie turned out really good and surprisingly twisty.  A whodunnit that'll keep you guessing the whole time. Check out our video episode on youtube. 

All WONDER WOMAN 1984 did was leave us wondering why the hell they flushed 200 million dollars down the movie toilet and made this horrible piece of garbage.  Creepy body snatching, bad action sequences, lame "villains", and an hour too long, WW84 disappointed in so many ways. 

It's official!! ROLLERBALL has taken the award for best worst guest pick ever! This movie is like The Running Man fucked Tron and gave birth to drug induced hallucination with major birth defects. Big budget and "big" names couldn't save this piece of shit. NASH PARK and the gang will tell you all about it.

Have you ever wanted to watch a movie about arm wrestling?  Neither did we but we watched OVER THE TOP anyway and it was exactly what you'd expect.  We weren't mad, just disappointed. We weren't exactly sure what the this movie was trying to be but what we do know is that is was perfect cannon fodder for the podcast.  Enjoy!   Don't forget to like and subscribe playa. 

This week we're joined by JP Meldrum from the JP vs The World Podcast and it's JP vs Reel Garbage over this half zombie half Maybelline commercial RESIDENT EVIL. It was 2002 and they blew the budget on Milla Jovovich I guess. This horrible piece of shit made bank though. Dont' forgot the LIKE, SUBSCRIBE, and TURN ON NOTIFICATIONS for new content every week.

I bind you Darren Millar. I bind you from ever making us watch this half ass magical piece of shit ever again. We went on a trip down nostalgia lane with THE CRAFT about a group of wannabe witches leeching off the one real witch so they can fuck with their classmates? I don't know, they summon some demons and Faruiza Balk fights a bunch of sharks. It's weird. You can find Darren Millar on instagram @darrenmillar101. Darren is a Sidney BC based standup up comic. No comedy happening these days so to the podcast we go!

Mike Judge could see our future with this one and we're not that far off the mark.  Join us on a trip into the future where morons run amuck and corporations rule the world.  IDIOCRACY is a pretty spot on description of our existence as of late but was still a fun romp through a dystopian future brought to you by Brawndo The Thirst Mutilator.  We were joined this time around by Clint Taylor.  You can find Clint review pizza around Victoria on VIP Reviews on Youtube.  Also reviewing cannabis on instagram with Canadian Cannabis Culture, and Round of Applause as well.  LIKE AND SUBSCRIBE!!

Ever wanted a dog that could teach you to play basketball?  Ever dream of finding your very own abandoned ocean front basketball court?  This kid got all that and squandered it.  AIR BUD is the story of a mediocre child basketball player who gets forced to manage the school basketball team as his dog helps him find redemption in the final game of the season.  Disappointing.  This dog can't even dunk.   Evan Mumford joins us this time around.  Find his podcast "MUST BE NICE" wherever you get your pods.  You can also find Evan all over social media and doing standup comedy around Victoria BC.  

This movie is what happens when lead actors pass on the roles and the "help" need to step up the plate and take a swing. TROLL 2 was a 90s PSA about not eating meat or at least that's what it felt like. Join us as we journey into "Nilbog" and follow a horrible family on their "vacation" as they try to escape being eaten by.a town full of vegetarian goblins.   Hit that SUBSCRIBE button for new content every week.

In the words of Keanu Reeves. Whoa! It's Halloween and we decided to sink our teeth into BRAM STOKERS DRACULA with our friend Evan MacDonald. Can vampires turn into werewolves? We're not sure. Was girl on girl action in the rain a normal thing back then? Who knows? Did Van Helsing actually read the dracula book in 1897 or was he just winging? Maybe. Listen in for a bloody good time. Don't forget to hit that SUBSCRIBE button to get new content every week. You can also catch Evan at the VICTORIA EVENTS CENTRE on December 1st in downtown Victoria BC if you're in the neighbourhood.

Ever wondered what your favourite actors from the 80s and 90s are doing now?  They're doing trash movies that disappoint that's what!! This week Kaity and Jeff tortured themselves by watching SURVIVE THE NIGHT starring Chad Michael Murray and Bruce Willis, neither of them live up to their names. 

On this episode of the podcast we fight to understand what the hell is going on in this ridiculous movie written by none other than the great Jean-Claude Van Damme. Joined by Tyler Myers we reviewed LIONHEART. A cocaine fueled symphony backed champions tournament of a film this one left us wondering 'what the fuck just happened for the last ninety minutes?!' JUMPING ROUNDHOUSE KICK THAT SUBSCRIBE BUTTON!!

Have you ever wanted to see what a Dennis Rodman Jean Claude Van Damme buddy "cop" movie would be like? Well we can tell you that it's an absolute train wreck of an idea. DOUBLE TEAM was a complete air ball and should be put on the bench never to play again......this movie was chalk full of horrible basketball puns. So. Many. Basketball puns.   SMASH THAT SUBSCRIBE BUTTON PLAYAS AND PLAYETTES.

This week Kaity and Jeff watch a se-pre-quel in the form of Alien V Predator. Get to the sooooffaaaa!! Travel to Antarctica with Lex, Sebastian, Weyland and many more people we never get to know on a first name basis. See them get in the middle of an age old battle, "Hunter" V "Serpent". Who ever wins we lose...an hour and 41 minutes of LIFE (another good pun haha)

Have you guys ever wanted a 'The Mummy' reunion? We've got Brendan Fraser, Arnold Vosloo, Kevin J. O'Connor and Stephen Sommers together again in GI JOE: Rise of Cobra. None of them share a scene together and we have no idea what's going on half of the time but here we are. Don't worry, if you watched the sequel(RETALIATION) with us this will be like a whole new movie because NONE OF THE SEQUEL CAST IS IN THIS ONE!!?!? So join us on this insanely action packed, too long, bloated ass confusing movie!

On this weeks episode of Reel Garbage, Jeff is home!! And there weren't any muthafuckin' snakes on his muthafuckin' plane. That's right! We revisit Julianna Marguliessss and Ssssamuel L. Jacksssson'ssssss pieccce of ssshit "adventure horror".   Hit that SUBSCRIBE button and turn on notifications for new episodes every Sunday.

The movie DOOM made the game look like a masterpiece of modern gaming technology.  Which it might be I'm not totally sure.  All I know is this movie was trash.   Hit those LIKE and SUBSCRIBE buttons if you want!!

This movie was exactly what we expected.  An excellent follow up to an old classic, Bill & Ted Face the Music was a pleasant sequel which just makes ya smile.  Be excellent to each other dudes. 

We caught CABIN FEVER and the only prescription is to wipe this piece of shit from our memories.  Good grief what a horrendous movie.  Just awful.  There's no wonder it racked up a zero score.  We Reel Rated it ourselves though, tune in to see what we gave it. 

Two sociopaths carry a dead body around for the ladies.  Also known as 80s crossfit.  WEEKEND AT BERNIES was waaaaaay darker than I remember.  

Wow.  Wow oh wow.  This was the most hilarious shit movie we've reviewed so far.  I've never laughed this hard watching a bad movie in my life.  CATWOMAN was terrible, yet exciting.  We talk about what happens to gum when you swallow it, what happened to my beard, and paying your chewnion dues if you work in construction.  It was a good time.  Come on down and give it a listen.  

Yeah know what?  This movie held up.  I was expecting a heaping pile of cheesy trash but THE WIZARD was excellent.  Sure there was some cheese but it was better than I expected.  We also talk about other stuff, I really should make notes about the subjects but.....weed affects the memory apparently.  

Well here it is.  Kaity's worst pick so far. THE SNOWMAN was a boring slog through a garbage story.  What a piece of shit.  Ripping on it was fun at least so that made up for it. 

There was no dungeon, no siege, no tale.  In the Name of The King: A Dungeon Siege Tale was a lie.  A horribly written lie.  According to Kaity it's my worst pick yet and I agree with her.  This movie was bad.  With the names it has in it you'd think it would be a banger but it most certainly is not.  The funny thing is is that they made sequels.  We'll probably review those later but for now have a listen to what we had to say about this abysmal piece of refuse.     Don't forget to hit that subscribe button and check out the archives.  You could listen to us for over four days non stop at this point in time. 

Happy Sunday everyone! Today we were revisited by Jayden Worth to discuss his movie pick about flying rubber, FLUBBER.  This movie is astoundingly awful and goes against everything science stands for, but by god Robin Williams can act in anything.     Find Jayden on instagram at jvic_esq and the podcast THIS COMIC HAS 22 MINUTES wherever you get your podcasts. 

On this episode of the podcast we're joined by young and talented aspiring filmmaker Nick Harvey to watch and discuss his short films IT WAKES and GOODNIGHT.  You can watch them yourself on Youtube by searching for TIMBER PRODUCTIONS or by watching the video episode we put up on our REEL GARBAGE Youtube page.    Timber Productions -  https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJ9PRJRysOnCtgRpwMup8LQ Reel Garbage - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjMV1_l3eu_MHqjqsIy9Zig

It's Sunday and that means it's time for another episode of Reel Garbage.  GHOST SHIP sucked, plain and simple.  This movie was supposed to be something awesome until the director from 13 Ghosts got a hold of it and ruined it.  Come find out why. 

I watched this movie as an 11 year old boy countless times.  Watching it as an adult I need to ask my parents why on earth they let me watch CLIFFHANGER as a child.  This movie is violent, gory, full of swears, and still holds up 27 years later.  It had some plot holes but what die hard on a mountain style movie doesn't?

It's our 100th episode!! It's been a hell of a ride.  We decided to do a STAR WARS.  The best of the second set if you will.  STAR WARS Episode III is beloved by the both of us but I still had to attempt to poke holes in it.  

It's not the original, we wouldn't dare touch a masterpiece such as that.  This Michael Bay produced Megan Fox laden piece of CGI unbelievable(in a bad way) garbage though?  Oh heeeeeeeell yeah!  Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles had potential for greatness but came off weak and disturbingly sexual when it came to that Michaelangelo douchebag.  I think we were goddamn hilarious though so that makes up for everything I just said.  Give it a listen! 

Jeff Speakman is THE PERFECT WEAPON.  He also rolls up his jacket sleeves, has fantastic luscious hair, and wears jeans that are almost too tight for a martial artist.  Will he defeat the Korean mafia?  Of course, they don't have guns.