The Confident Swinger Podcast

Send us a textNot all LS experiences are unicorns and rainbows. Often, they can be uncomfortable, or even what some people label as bad. In today's episode, Jo talks about reasons why you shouldn't label your LS experiences as bad, because it could just make a "bad" situation even worse. Support the showOld music (

Send us a textJo and Chad talk about the challenges of hosting a meet and greet.Support the showOld music (

Send us a textThe LS can be a lot of fun and can enhance your life and your relationship. But, it can also bring a lot of drama if your own relationship is not rock solid. Don't bring other people into your drama... know when NOT to play.Support the showOld music (

Send us a textThe Confident Swinger is BACK! The show has gone through some changes, but we are back to the original and ready to be better than ever. Thanks for sticking with us and giving it another shot!Support the showOld music (

Send us a textWendy is taking a much-needed break to focus on her own mental health and healing. It's a see you a later, not a good-bye.Support the showOld music (

Send us a textWendy Jo talks about her journey to go from needing to be needed, to wanting to be chosen. And she talks a tiny bit about her struggle with mental health.Support the showOld music (

Send us a textWarning: this episode is dark and heavy. And real. So, be prepared. I'll do a light episode next week. Maybe lol.Wendy Jo experiences shame, true shame, and feels it fully for the first time. So, if you want, and if you're ready, step inside. No need to knock, everyone is welcome.Support the showOld music (

Send us a textHey guys, I recently figured something out for myself, and I thought maybe it would resonate with some of you.For me, the secret to great sex is desire. I HAVE to feel real desire for that other person, AND I have to feel desired BY that other person. ME. Not my body, not my lady parts, but ME.The problem with that is sometimes for guys it can be hard for you to differentiate between you desiring HER and you desiring SEX. They are NOT the same.And, lots of women are intuitive, so we know, in our guts, when it's being faked. We may not know that we know in the moment, but we know when the sex isn't GREAT!So, if you want to have GREAT sex, you might want to rethink the concept of desire, It just might change your life.Support the showOld music (

Send us a textTruth is, I'm wrong a lot. Let me share some of those truths with you today.Support the showOld music (

Send us a textSometimes, the most OBVIOUS concepts are wasted on me. This time, I'm referring to the face that I JUST recognized that the words confronting and confrontational are the SAME word with different suffixes.Not sure how I missed it, but I did. So, take a listen and bask in my idiocy.Support the showOld music (

Send us a textFor YEARS, I struggled with asking for help. I know I'm not alone in that particular struggle.But I've come to realize that, when you understand yourself a little better, and you understand what made it hard for you to ask for help in the first place, you can start to make peace with it.And hopefully, one day, you can begin to see asking for help as a gift.Support the showOld music (

Send us a textIt's always good to start off a new(ish) show with an introduction, so here you go! Support the showOld music (

Send us a textWelcome to Your Bitchy Little Brain Podcast!Support the showOld music (

Send us a textI LOVE this episode! It's raw. It's honest. It's real.I had the pleasure of interviewing Roger, a bisexual guy in the LS, and his lovely wife Robyn.You get to hear his journey from NOT being bi, to curiosity, to accepting, and finally, to fully embracing it. AND, you get to hear her side and how she managed this unexpected turn of events.Now, they are both passionate about breaking the stigma that bi guys have in the LS. You can help just be listening, and sharing their story.Support the showOld music (

Send us a textIf you're gonna have play, then you're going to have to figure out what to do AFTER play. You don't want it to be awkward, so what do you do? Jo talks a bit about this.Support the showOld music (

Send us a textChad and Jo talk about when the LS loses its excitement. It's bound to happen, the newness wears off, and with it, some of the excitement. We ramble and get off topic today, but we also talk about some of the reasons the LS may lose it's excitement, and some tips to bring it back.Support the showOld music (

Send us a textIt's a fear of many a lifestyle man... being seen as or being labeled as a creepy guy. It's what holds a lot of guys back from making a move or shooting their shot.But, alas, Jo is here to help! Today's episode has easy to understand tips to ensure that YOU don't act like the creepy guy. Support the showOld music (

Send us a textRespect is a big thing, especially in the LS when you are dealing with sensitive and vulnerable topics like sex. So today, Jo is asking, and answering, the question, can you be TOO respectful?What do you think?Support the showOld music (

Send us a text A lot of people struggle with the concept of reconciling the LS with their religious or spiritual beliefs. So today, Jo shares her thoughts about religion in the LS.Support the showOld music (

Send us a textIn this episode, Jo talks about how to reject someone with kindness. We all know that rejection IS a part of the LS, and a lot of people struggle with that. They struggle with rejecting others, and also with being rejected themselves. The key to rejecting with kindness is to be clear and concise, and to do it with the intention of freeing them to find a better fit.Support the showOld music (

Send us a textLast week, we talked about uncut penes. Everybody has preferences and turn offs, that's totally normal. And, sometimes people cross over into body shaming territory. That's what we're talking about today.Support the showOld music (

Send us a textThere was a post recently about someone being turned off by uncircumcised penises (penes!), and since a friend had literally JUST talked to me about the topic a day before, I thought it was a sign that I should do an episode about it.So today, I talk about the reasons people may avoid, or seek out, an uncut penis. And I share my own personal preferences. Support the showOld music (

Send us a textIn this episode, Chad goes solo for the first time, and shares his jealousy struggles. He shares what helped him get through it, and shares some tips for others.Support the showOld music (

Send us a textToday, Jo talks about being successful in the LS. And really, your definition of success is really going to depend on your why, on your reason for being in the LS, and on what you want to get out of it.Support the showOld music (

Send us a textJo is publishing an episode she had previously published only on Patreon. In it, she goes through a Making the First Move workshop she had been working on.Support the showOld music (

Send us a textToday, Jo talks about her struggles with dealing with Chad's negative emotions, and how her trying to "fix" it, trying to "manage" it, actually made things way worse.You can be loving and supportive AND let your partner deal with their own negative, uncomfortable emotions. In fact, they aren't going to be able to move past them if they aren't allowed the freedom of dealing with their own emotions.Support the showOld music (

Send us a textJo is joined today by her best friend Steph. They went to Westport, Washington to check out the Westport Hotel Takeover hosted by Club Sapphire out of Seattle. We wanted to share our thoughts and experiences while we were there. Enjoy!Support the showOld music (

Send us a textJo is joined by Chad this week (yay!), and they talk about the times when you OVER communicate. Or you talk things to death, instead of actually taking action and moving forward. Communication is important, or course. And sometimes, there comes a time when talking more isn't effective, and it isn't moving you forward. There are times you get stuck in a holding pattern because of fear. Moral of the story... don't let the fear stop you.Support the showOld music (

Send us a textChad and Jo recently visited Paradise Lakes, a nudist/lifestyle resort in Florida, and they share their experiences with you.Support the showOld music (

Send us a textYou see a lot of cockiness in the LS... people bragging about their sexual skills or prowess. Today, Jo talks about some possible reasons why that happens, and how it's actually NOT about confidence at all.Support the showOld music (

Send us a textChad recently sort of hosted an impromptu party at our friend's house while they were out of town, and apparently, it was a great time! Today, we talk about why, and we talk about planning things versus letting them just play out.Support the Show.Old music (

Send us a Text Message.Disappointment is bound to happen, even in the LS. It happens when things don't work out the way you want them to, and you're left dealing with those emotions. In today's episode, Jo talks about disappointment, some causes and situations, and then she talks about tips for managing disappointment, and some ways to avoid it in the future.Support the Show.Old music (

Send us a Text Message.Last week, Jo talked about people finding themselves in "natural" D/s dynamics. Staying on the D/s thought train, this week, Jo talks about how thoughts and emotions are ALSO in a D/s dynamic. Thoughts are the Dom (usually); they are in control, or they think they are, and emotions are the sub, the more submissive ones that do as they are told. Or, that's how we WANT to believe. But just like in any kind of D/s dynamic, it's REALLY the sub that has control, and in our bitchy little brains, it's REALLY the emotions that have control.Support the Show.Old music (

Send us a Text Message.In this episode, Jo talks about basic Dom/sub relationship dynamics, and how they can and often do show up in everyday vanilla relationships. She talks about the benefits that could come from embracing a more structured D/s dynamic.The video referenced in this episode:What Submissives REALLY Want from their Dominant (youtube.com)Support the Show.Old music (

Send us a Text Message.If you are already an overthinker, the LS can kick your bitchy little brain into overdrive. In today's episode, Jo talks about overthinking and gives some tips to help you manage it.Support the Show.Old music (

Send us a Text Message.This is a short mini episode about self-love, and the things that get lost, the things that hide and keep you from the happiness and healing you are seeking.Support the Show.Old music (

Send us a Text Message.Today, Jo interviews Lisa, who has a different Lifestyle why. Lisa has some medical issues that affect her sexually, so she and her husband use the lifestyle to not just enhance their relationship, but to ensure that sexual needs are met.There is no one right way, or one right reason. This episode highlights the many dynamics that are possible, and is a reminder that sometimes, that guy that plays alone really IS for real. Support the Show.Old music (

Send us a Text Message.Let's talk about sex (baby, let's talk about you and me....).Today, Jo is talking about getting better at sex, about being more CONFIDENT about sex.Sex obviously plays a big part in the Lifestyle, and we ALL want to believe that we are good at sex. So today, Jo talks about what she believes make someone good at sex and offers tips for getting better.Support the Show.Old music (

Send us a Text Message.Hey everybody! Chad had his YouTube debut!Chad was asked to be a guest on the Open Bedroom Podcast with Jennifer Kaylo. She interviewed Chad and her partner, Scott, in her episode, "Husbands of Podcasters."So today, Chad talks a little bit about that experience, and then we share the episode.Check it out!https://youtu.be/vy2y7qwolIw?si=mCikaTBVs9hVIafQSupport the Show.Old music (

Send us a Text Message.Aging is something that a lot of people struggle with.  Especially in the LS, where so much emphasis is placed on sex appeal and physical appearance.But you CAN be confident as you age. That's what this episode is all about.Support the Show.Old music (

Send us a Text Message.You have a good relationship. And now, you want to enhance your relationship by getting into the LS. You want to bring that added excitement, that extra spark. But NOT at the expense of your relationship.Basically, you're worried about f-ing up your relationship. That's what today's episode is all about.Support the Show.Old music (

Send us a Text Message.In this episode, Jo talks about slowing down in your flirting game. Or, what she likes to call drive by flirting. It's when you don't focus your attention on someone for a long period of time, but you keep coming back to flirting with them throughout the evening.It can be a super helpful tool for people who struggle with being put on displace.Support the Show.Old music (

Send us a Text Message.This week, Jo is talking about slowing things down. It's pretty likely that one, or both, of you will want or need to slow things down at some point in your LS journey. And that's ok. It's an important part of building trust in your relationship so that eventually, you both WANT to move forward again.It's important to remember to honor the feelings of both people during this time; the person NOT wanting to slow down is just as important as the person that DOES want to slow down. Yes, you should slow down or stop if and when someone needs that. AND you should respect that both people have feelings that deserve to be acknowledged and appreciated.Support the Show.Old music (

Chad and Jo went to Michigan to check out a party, and they share their thoughts and experiences with you today.Plus, during that trip, Jo talks to three lovely ladies, who share their thoughts with you about the lifestyle.Support the Show.Old music (

Jo may be a coach, but that doesn't make her immune to some a-hole thoughts, and the fears that she's not good enough.Today, Jo gets vulnerable and shares her journey for processing and managing those a-hole thoughts.Support the Show.Old music (

Disclaimer...Jo is high, and she rambles like a MOFO when she's high. You've been warned! Today, Jo is celebrating 100 episodes. And in celebratory fashion, she got stoned and recorded this episode.Probably not the best idea, but what's a celebration without some bad decisions! So, I present to you, Episode 100, Jo is Celebrating!Support the Show.Old music (

Apparently when you get stoned, you forget stuff. Who knew??Just a little bonus of a few things I forgot because I was in celebration mode, aka rambling high mode.Support the Show.Old music (

We all know the Golden Rule, do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Or, treat others the way you would want to be treated. It's a great concept.I took it a slightly different route with the Golden Pineapple Rule. Treat others the way THEY want to be treated.This celebrates and honors people's differences. Support the Show.Old music (

When you're feeling wonky, it's helpful to have some tools for managing those feelings. This is a tool you can use. It's called Give 5, and it's designed for you to ask yourself what you need in that moment, and to give it to yourself. To focus on that giving energy, out of love for yourself. Support the Show.Old music (

I recently started a new job, and I couldn't help but notice the similarities between being uncomfortable in starting a new job and being uncomfortable in new LS events. So many people REALLY try to avoid feeling uncomfortable, because it's hard. But, LIFE is uncomfortable!Today, I give you some tips for dealing with uncomfortable situations when you are in them, when you are neck deep in the uncomfortable weeds. AND, I give you some tips for learning to GET comfortable with BEING uncomfortable.Support the Show.Old music (

Recently, I read a post from a man who had spent a lot of time building up his confidence, only to have it beaten down when someone labeled him as creepy and harassy (my word, not his, or hers). He has since built himself back up, but is still in what he considers the Stalemate of Confidence, where he feels good about himself, but is still unable to approach new people.I thought this was such an interesting situation, and one that a lot of people find themselves in. Confidence has many layers, and it can be difficult to get past those blocks. Difficult, but definitely doable, and very much worth the effort, and hopefully this episode will help with that.Support the showOld music (