The Newlyweds Podcast

Dallas Penn and CS are still newlyweds and still podcasting, despite all evidence to the contrary. And they're back at it with all kinds of the ridiculousness that you've come to expect with vegetarian hermaphroditic sex dolls, flat world-ers, the resistance and the ongoing struggle that is being human. ALSO: We are living in the cover up, and it's the cover up that always catches up with you. So stop arguing with your partner and just agree. Featuring Ready for the World, Fleetwood Mac, Tribe, Tupac, Cardi B and Janelle Monae. Trrriiiiillllllllllllllll!

NW Random Pod #1 by with Dallas Penn & Chocolate Snowflake

CS and Dallas are back at it again despite neo-Nazis, hurricanes and presidential ineptitude. On the discussion docket is displacement and related gastrointestinal distresses. DP talks about his new year and his new diet. Plus: What you need to prepare for the apocalypse.

Dallas Penn and CS are not talking about Charlottesville or white supremacists or natural disasters or anything else we've all been talking about. No, we're talking about social media, rapper's insurance and melanin deficiencies. We apologize in advance for CS' jacked-up microphone; we were late with the payroll 'cause of coupons and it went on strike. Also, do your fried wings have feathers? If not, you ain't ordering from the right spot.

It's been a long time and we should not have left you. But we're glad you left the door unlocked so we could slip back in and make ourselves at home. INTERNETS, WE MISSED YOU. Shouts to Ricardo, one of many friends of the podcast who helped us get back on our feet and avoid further light year delays.

The Newlyweds Podcast is talking about time passing and Finnish grandmas getting lit. It's all here, along with grooming tips for spring from your favorite newlyweds, Dallas Penn and CS. ALSO: Is Facebook normalizing preverts?

Aaaaaannnnddddd we're back! Still newlyweds Dallas Penn & CS jump into the conversational fray feet first, through an Atlanta freeway onto a flaming lawn chair, then tuck and roll into presidential politics, finishing with a flourish of the usual shenanigans. PERFECT 10, or so we hope. Basically, DP says something crazy, and CS keeps him from hitting his head. Same old, same old, new old, better new, still new, newlyweds. For life. Glad y'all are still here, cause we are too.

In this week's episode, CS and Dallas Penn discuss all the media they've been consuming over the past weeks from the small screen to the big. ALSO: a smorgasbord of music!

Join Dallas Penn and CS in a wide-ranging discussion covering the intricacies of whyte record-keeping, which leads to shortages in garlic, amongst other social ills. Plus, in-depth coverage of Trump Bowl, Lady Gaga, big game cuisine, and the second installment of Ask The Newlyweds #PettyPenalties. Stay warm Internets!

Goofy talk from your favorite pair of ever-newlyweds, Dallas Penn and Chocolate Snowflake (that's CS to you). Sometime life just doesn't make sense. Also: From mangender to mangenda. how the feminist movement has succeeded and failed.

In this inauguration week, CS and Dallas Penn celebrate the spirit of singularly great American. Turns out Dr. King's dream of a nation that lives up to it's founding is about to be fulfilled. Are you ready? As long as you and bae share the same toilet paper philosophy, you should be fine. Plus: When is corn not corn? Dallas makes his case for some unsavory definitions.

It's the New Year and your favorite newlyweds, Dallas Penn and CS, are adding it all up so you don't have to. From orbiting in outer space to tipping your waiter, turns out it all comes down to slavery. So give thanks to the ancestors -- we're talking to you America -- and keep your receipts. ALSO: What is more "lit" than "lit"? and De La Soul is in the building.

In this, their annual year-end episode, everyone's favorite newlyweds Dallas Penn and CS rummage through the end and the beginning, self-care goals, new year wishes, making your partner happy, and, of course, the usual nonsensicals. Also, CS tries really hard to make an un-funny joke funny. Happy New Year Internets!

Internets, 'tis the season for giving thanks and the first people we need to thank are y'all! You inspire us and motivate us to keep on with the keep on. This week CS & DP detail their Thanksgiving adventures (which you can also experience on The Newlyweds Podcast FB and IG), discuss the demise of El Commandante and ask the question, is Brandy really a Lady of Soul?

Well, we did that. CS and DP dissect the post-Trump-election environment and offer their usual #SorryNotSorry analysis. As always, an eclectic, wide-ranging discussion (with music to match) on everything from neo-liberalism to what's "real" slang. PLUS: Dallas' heartfelt thank you to his people.

Man, if everything is rigged, then what do you have to lose? The game has already been played. CS and Dallas Penn call in all the receipts on the usual pop culture shenanigans, from the rigged game of Candy Crush to a Tracy Chapman vs Bob Dylan Nobel Prize smack down. Also, do you have any of The Unemployables in your family? Musical Plus: Losers Lounge Prince Tribute and Big Baby DRAM

The Newlyweds celebrate their 51st episode with a misinformed conversation about Haiti, more presidential politricks including some magical pussy, and an appreciation of Solange's latest album, A Seat At The Table. Plus: CS wants to know what should be next on her reading list, while Dallas Penn asks the internets for some musical next next .

Who would play you in the TV show of your life? DP and CS contemplate the wonders of married life, who would play them on TV, and expressing gratitude for the treasures of every day. ALSO: Luke Cage for the win, a real crack baby, and the manhandling of Lester Holt. Plus, Princess Lulu makes an appearance.

You asked for more and we brought it! CS and DP go in on presidential politics, the graves of our ancestors, and how to be older without getting old. Hint, meditation and motivation are key. ALSO: CS gains a newfound appreciation for all things Star Wars and DP advises R&B artists not to die.

Back with another transmission from The Newlyweds Podcast headquarters, Dallas Penn and CS talk about everything you're thinking but not saying out loud. Accompanied by an extra funky soundtrack, your intrepid newlyweds attempt to make sense of this crazy world. Please don't try this alone. ALSO: Naked podcasting. It's a thing.

DP and CS ruminate on various tidbits from the past week, including what it might mean to be white. Then CS tells a story that doesn't have a punch line involving her 7th grade science teacher, the Pledge of Allegiance and Lisa Stansfield. Also: Action figures vs Dolls and the beauty that is Queen Sugar

When times are tough, Swound Care LLC can heal what ails you, courtesy of The Newlyweds Podcast. We swear, it's better than 'Tussin. Also: Tigallerro rocks, taking a Chance, Anita Baker, black lady magic and what are you binge watching?

UPDATE: technical difficulties fixed!! Steph Curry will not block our blessings. Now back to our original programming....Dallas Penn & CS return to the airwaves with a salute to Muhammad Ali and their usual let's-talk-about-everything-and-the-kitchen-sink discourse. CS bemoans NBA Broadcast widowhood, while Dallas attempts to record a podcast and watch the game at the same time. ALSO: Can someone please explain what the hell Desiigner is talking about?

It's The Newlyweds Podcast Post-Mother's Day tribute episode. 'Cause we were spending actual time with our mothers on Mother's Day. Also: Dallas thinks white people don't write songs about their mothers. Wait 'til Father's Day...

You know what to do. Put on some purple and press play.

What would you do if someone sat in your lap on the subway? DP tells an outrageous tale of some unexpected one-on-one during his morning commute. Meanwhile, CS is convinced that there's a Trump conspiracy to put HRC in the White House. PLUS: The Brothers Johnson, long distance loving, and is it possible to be too provocative?

CS and Dallas Penn attempt to identify what exactly defines third world vs first world problems, breakdown current election cycle politics and the proliferation of Starbucks. Plus: paying it forward in a material world and doggie health care.

Casimir Nozkowski, one third of the iNternets Celebrities and his partner/friend/wife/love Hannah Bos, an actress and comedienne in her own right, join Dallas and CS for brunch and conversation. We sing, we don't dance, and we talk about the pleasures of working with someone you trust. Also: What ever happened to Gloria Loring and Carl Anderson?

CS and Dallas continue their discussion of the Flint water crisis, plus the dangers of migrant mosquitoes, various refugees and, of course, Ralph Lauren Polo. Also: music from Stephanie Mills and Maxwell - just how old are you?

What does Cam Newton, a weekend snow blizzard and government malfeasance all have in common? The Newlyweds Podcast! Featuring Dallas Penn and CS for 30 minutes of slightly informed opinionating and some great music.

Our first ever special guest/host episode of The Newlyweds Podcast where we turn the feed over to our fried Tyron Perryman. Tyron, aka @tyrondeharlem, was kind enough to invite Dallas Penn and CS to a live broadcast of his podcast Tea & Converse. It was a great night, full of stories and laughter, good music and cool people. We hope you enjoy.

It's our first podcast of the New Year! CS and Dallas welcome audio engineer extraordinaire Jonathan Mena and his wife Vienney to the New Year Newlyweds to drop of some knowledge on keeping the romance alive. Also: trash talk, New York City style.

CS and Dallas Penn sing-a-long to some of their favorite Christmas music in The Newlyweds Podcast first ever holiday edition. And we're celebrating our engagement anniversary. And yes, we're off tune as usual. Join us!

Pumped up after an classically epic Saturday date night, CS and Dallas Penn discuss an incredibly broad range of topics, from #blacklivesmatter to burlesque to the genius that is Michael Jackson. Also, CS works out her nerves about The Newlyweds first live appearance at Tea & Converse!

CS and Dallas Penn reflect on their holiday experience, occasional annual traditions and being together.

Dallas Penn and CS give thanks for all their podcast listeners, especially those who recognize them IRL. Plus: Reverse sneaker deaccessioning, Thanksgiving traditions, and troublesome mascots. Happy Eating Y'all!

Dallas Penn & CS share their recent adventures in California and at Spa Castle Premiere, the midtown branch of the famed Queens NY spa. Alas, neither trip was without some hiccups. Plus: eating well, boiled meats, unsavory spas and DP as fashion designer.

We're baaaaaaaaaack! CS and DP return to the virtual broadcast booth, bringing with them all the serious nonsense you didn't even know you missed. As usual, we're covering the bases from health to wealth and everything in between. Also: We have a new theme song for you to sing along.

CS and Dallas Penn debut a potential new podcast theme song, produced by listener named DU Beats. Also: James Blake, babies and birthdays.

Dallas Penn is feeling a kind of way about grilling vegetables, but CS draws the line at 3 a.m. discussions about BBQs vs cookouts. Is there a difference between the two? Is it ever okay to put bbq sauce on a vegetable? Let us know on Twitter @Newlyweds_Pdcast, plus: Aretha Franklin, daydreaming, Monday Night Football and the end of summer.

CS and Dallas Penn are making it last through rape jokes (not okay), white supremacy (also not okay), and date nights (definitely okay). Also: invisible DJs, the VMAs, Labor Day Parade and the movie Dope.

Dallas Penn and CS are back from a vegan health retreat in the great state of Texas and are feeling good! Plus: baby-faced racists, Serena Williams, and finding your purpose.

As Dallas continues to recover from his zombie foot, he and CS battle fat flies, house centipedes and other monster insects seeking refuge in their apartment from the summer heat. Also: binge watching Netflix, salad days, and siren songs. And as always #blacklivesmatter. Rest In Power Sean Price.

How do you manage difficulties in your relationship? Diabetes Dallas and Chocolate Snowflake sweat it out as they discuss some health-related bumps in the road, zombie foot meats, and the elastic nature of love. Also: The New York Times Modern Love column on how relationships survive, Ant Man, and the enduring appeal of "pulpo."

What do you think one year of marriage looks like? Dallas Penn and CS are making it up as they go along and so far, it's so good. Plus: DP still has his foot.

The Newlyweds, Dallas Penn and CS are back, after several weeks of more sickness than health. But they made it through, and are here to tell you the tale. Also, the counter revolution of 1776, defining freedom, and helmets as the new black.

There's tons of fun this summer in New York City - free concerts, dance parties, museums and more - and your favorite #newlyweds will be exploring it all! From Al B. Sure! to Jodi Whatley to D'Angelo to AfroPunk. Meanwhile, DP is convinced that #RachelDolezal and #StephenCurry have triggered a lightskin apocalypse. Plus: what the heck is "waaking?"

DP and CS Celebrate Brooklyn and kick off the beginning of the NYC summer season with Chaka Khan at the Prospect Park Bandshell and explore the matrix of time when you're in a relationship. Can people change in a relationship? Should you expect them to? Also: the return of Al B. Sure, New Jack Swing.

Chocolate Snowflake is on a mission to fix up the apartment she and Dallas Penn share. Will their relationship survive all that home improvement? Plus: turnip appreciation and Summer in New York City

This special episode of #thenewlywedspodcast features a true life early '90s NYC punk romance, complete with broken hearts, a pet rat named Murder and a lot of laughter. CS and Dallas Penn welcome friends Wiz and Buttercup to their in-home studio to talk about a love affair that's now in it's third decade over drinks and homemade ice cream.

There's a lot of junk on Craigslist, as CS discovers in her ongoing Spring 2015 home improvement quest. As it turns out, when Dallas don't do laundry, there's also a lot of junk that has to be dealt with. Also: the Wonderful party is happening this Saturday and real estate shenanigans in NYC,